Advertise on podcast: Transcending Trauma ® with Moniquea Spiteri

What happens when the very qualities that helped you survive become the patterns that keep you stuck? In this episode of Season 3, Moniquea Spiteri returns to guest interviews with Benjamin Ahn, former US Navy SEAL, international corporate executive and founder of Nomena, a medically supervised ibogaine retreat sanctuary in Southeast Asia. Ben's journey has taken him from a childhood shaped by trauma to the intense world of elite military service, followed by more than fifteen years of corporate leadership. But beneath the achievements was a deeper personal journey that eventually led him to explore psychedelic medicine and the transformative potential of ibogaine. Together, Moniquea and Ben explore the relationship between trauma, survival adaptations, identity and the emerging field of psychedelic-assisted healing. In this conversation, we explore: How childhood survival patterns can shape our identity, relationships and drive to succeed. The mindset of elite military personnel and the challenges of moving beyond a life built around endurance and control. What ibogaine is, how people describe the experience and why it's attracting interest in trauma recovery. The importance of medical supervision, safety and responsible psychedelic practice. Why profound insights don't automatically translate into lasting change. The role of integration, somatic awareness and nervous system work in supporting meaningful transformation. What it really means to move beyond survival and reconnect with who we are. As a somatic psychotherapist and psychedelic-assisted therapy practitioner, Moniquea brings a body-centred perspective to the conversation, exploring an important question: Can a powerful psychedelic experience create lasting change, or does the deeper work begin when the experience ends? This episode isn't just about ibogaine. It's about the ways we learn to survive, the identities we build around those adaptations, and what becomes possible when we begin to live differently. About Benjamin Ahn Benjamin Ahn is the founder of Nomena and an advocate for the responsible, medically supervised use of ibogaine. A former US Navy SEAL who served in Iraq with SEAL Team 3, Ben later spent more than fifteen years in international corporate leadership before moving into the psychedelic retreat space. Learn more about Nomena: https://www.nomena.life Connect with Transcending Trauma Explore more episodes and resources: https://moniqueaspiteri.com/podcast Disclaimer: This episode is for education and discussion only and does not constitute medical advice or an endorsement of ibogaine treatment. Ibogaine carries significant medical risks, including potentially life-threatening cardiac complications, and remains an investigational treatment for trauma-related conditions. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What If You Don’t Need to Be More Regulated?When nervous-system healing becomes another form of self-control... What if our obsession with nervous-system regulation is actually becoming another form of hypervigilance? Welcome to a new chapter of Transcending Trauma®. Following the educational journey of Season 2, Moniquea Spiteri is shaking things up with a new series of Hot Topics — conversations that challenge some of the ideas we've come to accept about trauma, healing and the nervous system. In this first episode, Moniquea asks whether our constant pursuit of regulation is making us less tolerant of the normal discomfort that comes with being human. When did healing start to mean being calm all the time? And have we turned nervous-system awareness into yet another way of monitoring and trying to fix ourselves? Drawing on her experience as a somatic psychotherapist, Moniquea explores the difference between regulation and capacity, how hypervigilance can disguise itself as self-improvement, and why discomfort doesn't always mean we're unsafe. She also looks at the role of relationships, co-regulation and hyper-independence — and why a healthy nervous system isn't one that never gets activated, but one that has the flexibility to move, respond and recover. Perhaps healing isn't about feeling less. Perhaps it's about developing the capacity to experience more of life without losing ourselves in the process. If this episode gets you thinking, join the conversation. Share your thoughts, leave a review or send it to someone who might see nervous-system regulation a little differently. Coming next: Are We Overusing the Word Trauma? Discover more about Moniquea's work, somatic psychotherapy and Transcending Trauma® at www.moniqueaspiteri.com Transcending Trauma® — Where science, story and soul unite. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dissociation is often described as disconnection, but it is also an intelligent survival response. It can occur when an experience feels too overwhelming, threatening or inescapable for the nervous system to process in the moment. The body remains present, but some part of our awareness moves away. For many people, this does not look dramatic. It may appear as emotional numbness, memory gaps, feeling unreal, losing time, living on autopilot or functioning well while feeling strangely absent from your own life. In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea explores the protective intelligence of dissociation and the many ways it can shape our relationship with the body, memory, identity, attachment and connection. You’ll learn about: • Functional dissociation and why it can be difficult to recognise• Depersonalisation and derealisation• The relationship between dissociation, freeze and hidden activation• How attachment wounds can contribute to relational disconnection• Why healing cannot be achieved by forcing someone back into their body• Gentle ways to build orientation, safety and present-moment connection This episode also marks a new chapter for Transcending Trauma. Following the completion of the previous podcast series, the conversation is opening into individual topic discussions, education and future guest conversations exploring trauma, nervous system healing and embodied transformation. Dissociation is not evidence that you are broken. It may be evidence of how intelligently your system helped you survive when remaining fully present was simply too much. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when connection no longer requires self-abandonment? In this powerful closing episode of the attachment and people-pleasing series, Moniquea Spiteri explores what it truly means to move from survival-based relating into secure connection. Many of us learned to stay connected through adapting, over-functioning, rescuing, anticipating the needs of others, or becoming who we believed we needed to be in order to belong. While these patterns may have once helped us survive, they often come at a cost—the loss of self. In this episode, Moniquea weaves together somatic healing, attachment theory, nervous system regulation, relational trauma, embodiment, and boundary work to explore what secure relating actually feels like in the body. You'll discover: • Why calm and healthy relationships can initially feel unfamiliar or unsafe• The difference between chemistry and familiarity• How people pleasing and over-functioning create the illusion of intimacy• Why the nervous system can mistake intensity for connection• How attachment wounds shape adult relationships• What happens when relationships finally have room for the authentic self• How to stay connected without losing yourself in the process• The path toward mutuality, honesty, and secure connection Through reflective teachings and guided somatic practices, this episode invites you to explore a new possibility: relationships where connection no longer costs you yourself. Whether you're healing attachment wounds, navigating boundaries, recovering from people pleasing, or learning to trust yourself in relationship, this episode offers a compassionate and embodied roadmap toward secure relating. Topics explored in this episode: Attachment Theory, Secure Attachment, People Pleasing, Fawn Response, Relational Trauma, Somatic Experiencing, Nervous System Regulation, Polyvagal Theory, Boundaries, Emotional Burnout, Self-Abandonment, Embodiment, Trauma Recovery, Relational Healing, Secure Relationships, Authentic Connection, Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience, Healing Trauma. If this episode resonates with you, please subscribe, share it with someone who may benefit, and leave a review. And stay tuned as Transcending Trauma begins opening back into more conversations with practitioners, experts, survivors, and thought leaders exploring trauma, healing, embodiment, mental health, and human transformation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if boundaries are not walls… but a return to yourself? In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea Spiteri explores boundaries through the lens of trauma healing, nervous system regulation, attachment, somatic awareness, and relational repair. Many people struggle with boundaries not because they lack strength, but because their nervous system learned that staying connected meant staying agreeable, easy, or emotionally available. This episode explores why boundaries can feel so difficult to hold, how trauma and attachment patterns interrupt our sense of self, and why boundaries are not primarily about controlling others, but about remaining connected to ourselves. Through three guided somatic practices, you’ll learn how to feel the edge of self in the body, recognise the moment you override your own truth, and begin staying connected to yourself while remaining in relationship. In this episode we explore • boundaries as a felt sense in the body • why boundaries feel unsafe or activating • the nervous system and fear of disconnection • people pleasing, over adaptation, and self abandonment • staying grounded in truth without shutting down • self loyalty, mutuality, and authentic connection A powerful episode for anyone ready to stop abandoning themselves in relationships and begin reclaiming boundaries as an act of self return. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why does saying no feel so hard? In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea Spiteri explores the people pleaser pattern through the lens of trauma healing, nervous system regulation, attachment, parts work, and somatic awareness. Many people experience people pleasing as kindness, over giving, or simply being the one who keeps everything together. But beneath the behaviour is often a deeply intelligent survival adaptation rooted in the fawn response, fear of disconnection, and the belief that love must be earned through usefulness. This episode explores how people pleasing slowly becomes identity, how guilt and resentment keep the cycle repeating, and why boundaries are not the opposite of love, but the pathway back to authentic connection. Through three guided somatic practices, you’ll learn how to recognise the over giving cycle in real time, stay present through the guilt wave without rescuing, and begin reclaiming boundaries without losing your warmth, heart, or capacity for love. In this episode we explore • people pleasing and the loss of self • guilt, resentment, and fear of being selfish • the younger protective part and the good child pattern • over functioning, role identity, and self abandonment • how to stay warm, open, and clear in boundaries • rebuilding self loyalty and authentic connection A powerful episode for anyone ready to stop abandoning themselves in the name of connection and begin reconnecting with their truth, capacity, and sense of self. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea Spiteri explores the fawn response, a powerful and often misunderstood trauma response where the nervous system learns to prioritise harmony, approval, and connection in order to stay safe. Often experienced as people pleasing, conflict avoidance, or constantly managing the emotional needs of others, the fawn response is not a personality flaw. It is an intelligent nervous system adaptation that can develop in environments where maintaining connection felt essential for safety. Drawing on trauma psychology, Polyvagal theory, somatic experiencing principles, parts work, and body‑based awareness, this episode explores why people pleasing becomes automatic in the nervous system and how we can begin reconnecting with our own voice while staying in relationship. You’ll also be guided through three gentle somatic practices to help you recognise the fawn response in your body, reconnect with your internal signals of yes and no, and begin responding from a more grounded and authentic place. Topics explored in this episode include • The fawn response and how it develops in trauma • People pleasing and the nervous system • Polyvagal theory and the social engagement system • Guilt, approval seeking, and fear of disappointing others • Parts work and why younger protective parts can take over in relationships • How to reclaim your voice without losing connection This episode includes three guided somatic practices designed to help you slow down, notice your body’s signals, and begin creating new relational experiences for your nervous system. If this episode resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who may benefit from the conversation, and follow the podcast so these teachings can reach more people interested in trauma healing, nervous system regulation, somatic therapy, and relational healing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does secure attachment actually look like in real life? In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea explores how relational safety is built not through perfection, but through regulation, repair, and emotional maturity. Drawing on nervous system science, attachment theory, and relational awareness, this conversation explores how secure attachment shows up in everyday interactions. From navigating conflict to learning the art of repair, Moniquea explores how two nervous systems can move through tension without losing connection. Through three guided somatic practices, you will learn how to recognise safety in the body, stay present during moments of disagreement, and practise repair in ways that strengthen relationships over time. Secure attachment is not about never being triggered. It is about learning how to return. Because the real foundation of secure relationships is not perfection. It is the willingness to reconnect, again and again. In the next episode we explore how emotional maturity continues to shape the way secure attachment becomes visible in everyday life. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From Reaction to Regulation Why do we react before we can think? In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea explores what really happens in the body when we get triggered and how to build the capacity to regulate in real time. Drawing on Polyvagal Theory, Somatic Experiencing, parts work, body psychotherapy, and relational teachings from Terry Real, this conversation explores why the nervous system moves faster than the thinking brain and how the past can become superimposed onto the present in moments of activation. Through reflection and three guided somatic practices, you will learn how to recognise your personal trigger patterns, interrupt reactive survival responses, and return to presence in the heat of the moment. Regulation is not about becoming unshakeable. It is about becoming recoverable. Because when you learn to regulate your nervous system, you do not just calm your body. You reshape your relationships. In the next episode we explore Secure Attachment in Action and what emotional security actually looks like in everyday life. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Transcending Trauma, we explore what it really means to reclaim agency over your life, not through mindset alone, but through embodied choice. Trauma shapes the stories we live inside of. It influences our attachment patterns, our nervous system responses, and the internal narratives that quietly guide our relationships. But the story that helped you survive is not necessarily the story that will help you thrive. Drawing on Polyvagal Theory, Somatic Experiencing®, parts work, body psychotherapy, and relational teachings from Terry Real, Moniquea unpacks how the past can become superimposed onto the present, and how we begin to interrupt that pattern. This episode includes three guided somatic practices to help you:• Recognise the old narrative running beneath your reactions • Disrupt automatic survival scripts • Strengthen embodied agency in real-time relationships Embodied agency is not about control or perfection. It is the steady, grounded capacity to pause, regulate, and choose from your wise adult self instead of protective reactivity. Because healing isn’t about rewriting history — it’s about living differently now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Power of Integration In this episode of Transcending Trauma, we explore what it really means to integrate healing — not just as an inner process, but as a lived, embodied reality. We look at how regulation, relational repair, and conscious choice shape a new way of being in the world. Drawing on Somatic Experiencing®, Parts Work, and attachment theory, Moniquea guides you through three practices to support real-life integration. Because transformation doesn’t end with insight — it deepens as we live the new story.   Includes: • 3 guided somatic practices • Teachings on attachment, nervous system repair, and relational healing • Reflections for living your integration day-to-day Make space for this one — and let it become a gentle companion on your path. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sacred Work: Turning Pain into Purpose What if your pain wasn’t a burden to carry, but a message waiting to be heard — a sacred thread guiding you toward deeper purpose? In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea Spiteri explores how trauma can become a gateway to transformation and meaningful contribution. Drawing from Somatic Experiencing®, neurobiology, and personal reflection, she unpacks the alchemical journey of turning pain into presence, wisdom, and sacred service. This gentle and empowering episode guides you through three embodied practices designed to help you listen to the messages beneath your pain, embody the truths you’ve earned, and begin offering your unique medicine to the world — not through performance, but through presence. Whether you're a healer, creative, caregiver, or someone walking their own healing path, this conversation offers tools and inspiration for embracing your story as a source of power and purpose. ✨ Featuring: The somatic language of pain and what it reveals How purpose arises through regulation and integration Personal stories of transformation and sacred offering 3 embodied practices to connect, integrate, and radiate your medicine This is a deeply affirming episode for those on the edge of something new — where survival becomes service, and pain becomes path. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Healing the Relational Wound. Some wounds are invisible — woven not from a single event, but from the absence of what we needed most: attunement, safety, and connection. In this episode, we turn toward the tender territory of relational trauma — how early disconnection imprints our nervous system, and how the body, through co-regulation and conscious repair, becomes the place where healing can begin. Take a moment to find stillness. Let your body settle. And let this episode be a gentle companion as we explore the wounds that happened in relationship and the medicine that can only be found there too. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Alchemy of Transformation How do we turn pain into purpose, and survival into selfhood? In this deeply reflective episode, Moniquea explores the inner alchemy of transformation through the lens of somatic healing, neuroscience, parts work, and early attachment. With three powerful somatic practices woven throughout, you’ll learn how the body holds — and heals — emotional energy. This episode is both science and soul, a guide for anyone ready to turn inward and reclaim the wisdom already living within. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Co-Regulation: The Art of Healing Together” Healing doesn’t happen in isolation — it happens in connection. In this episode, Moniquea explores the sacred science of co-regulation and how human connection reshapes the nervous system, rewires safety, and helps us transcend the patterns of survival. Through gentle teaching, personal reflection, and guided somatic practices, you’ll discover how presence, attunement, and relational safety create the conditions for deep healing. Because when one nervous system meets another in calm awareness, biology becomes belonging — and we remember that we were never meant to heal alone. Where science, story, and soul unite — this is the original Transcending Trauma. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.