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"holy fuk. I don't know what just happened". My outro was an old recording, my joy after a session. On a current path of taking a vow, taking refuge, I am also experiencing impermanence, the pain, I don't need to attach to the suffering. Metta Meta Gassho GC

One glass of wine, his 6 audios, and I spiral.

My sensory sexperience likely because of Autism, my nervous system does need aftercare. I'm not wired for hookhumps and dumps. Do you get human hangovers and what helps you?

Because of the forced change from anchor how I originally recorded, my original exit audio is lost forever. Nonetheless I'm finding newness and comfort in change...pssst I have *presence* for you, come here, now for gifts. ;)

Figuring stuff out: technical, relational, intentional pause for self with self. Nothing serious and serious. Found audios late 2019 and 2022. latter of a shared poem.

Traumatic events happened. I can see my brain wanting to transfer shock and pain to other places; to new people, to current and past people. A kernel of logic remains, now is the worst time to anal'ize I actually need professional help I think I'm experiencing actual post traumatic stress.

Dark night of the soul I've been meeting my pain along with Ram Dass to remind me just how caught up in the game I am. A quote I've memorized, a reminder I'm an environment, a vibration of love. I sing a favorite of mine that he sings. Accidental brown noise when my heater kicks on. Thank you for being here, Gassho

The "cumpuss 2020" was a fun inside joke when my world is throwing me I need to be thrown and tossed! Life being rough lately, I surrender to not knowing. Also with the Autism I wouldn't mind having a seeing eyed golden retriever that would also ruff me up and cuddle with me on my lap; extra support when my hair is on fire- I forget to take care of myself during a nervous system collapse. thanks for being here- until the flip.

Dear Men, I'm wanting to date and eventually be part of a loving, sexually playful, growth mindset partnership. Yet when sex is included, seems this is all that is offered. Are you one trick ponies? Can't think to reveal other sides to you beyond just sex? Unable to be authentic because you included sex? What gives? Should I not have sex with you while in a dating phase- (I need to make sure we're sexually compatible though!)? Signed H.O.H. (and I love trees the reference is the initials!) - horny open heart

an inkling to get burned, heavy lifting of emotional balls banging through walls thanks for being here

Hurts when two people are no longer in alignment with their connection, their relationship. I hurt because I could love his w'hole'ness. The parts the good and not so great were still loveable. He returned after this recording and it was a full circle healing that he needed. I need some healing now. I flexed my feelings~ Joy and Woe "It is right it should be so; Man was made for joy and woe; And when this we rightly know, Thro' the world we safely go. Joy and woe are woven fine, A clothing for the soul divine. Under every grief and pine Runs a joy with silken twine." William Blake Auguries of Innocence "...Every night and every morn Some to misery are born. Every morn and every night Some are born to sweet delight. Some are born to sweet delight, Some are born to endless night. We are led to believe a lie When we see not thro' the eye Which was born in a night to perish in a night, When the Soul slept in beams of light. God appears and God is light To those poor souls who dwell in night, But does a human form display To those who dwell in realms of day."

picked up a book, went on a date, next day wanted to lecture the date instead I asked myself a deeper question. I came up with an eye opening conclusion, more awareness. I noticed someone dog eared the book before me and maybe a man was *here*! I hope his self awareness, personal development and healing is serving up some great things! I appreciate all the men doing the hard inner work and self reflecting! On the journey myself; it's challenging for sure and sometimes, most of the time it's lonely. I know this is worth it to see myself in a deeper way.

jeezuz. Someone asked how did that happen, the app bored her to tears! I did meet someone great, short lived though and gained new insight. I start this off funny with Dr Joe stuff. Thanks for being here☆

I had been fighting a serious case of bacterial pneumonia for a month. Finally feeling better then caught a cold. Pneumonia did not return thankfully. Only thing that brought me joy was coming across Sophie Power's song stfu my brain tics and echolalia wanted me to have this song stuck- whatev it brings me joy~ thanks for being here in my silly weird space sws

In it. Watching it. On a precipice knowing I need to jump, I'm scared. There is no one. Baba Ram Dass comforts me. Sex with closeness is desired as I work through my intimacy issues. How else and where else can I draw in closeness, where do I or we create separateness, texting? How can we get closer? Call. Closer still? Make plans to meet. Closer still?...thanks for being here