Advertise on podcast: The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Have you ever felt confused by your child’s silly behavior? It seems like they are having fun, but it doesn’t feel good at all? In this episode, you’ll learn How to tell the difference between fun-silly and dysregulated-sillyWhat’s going on in the brain and nervous system for a child who is dysregulated-sillyPractical ideas for how to support your child returning to regulation, connection, and felt safetyResources mentioned in this podcast: The Connected Therapist by Marti SmithJoin The Club! Watch Marti's Master Class! - robyngobbel.com/theclubMarti’s video podcast & lycra tutorials: https://martiot.podbean.com/What Does Vulnerable Nervous System Mean? {EP 122}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {Ep 155} Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/silliness Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Our kids don’t need us to be perfect.  Not only do they not need us to be perfect, it would actually be bad for them if we were.   In fact, research shows parents are in attunement with their children about 30% of the time.  30%!  That’s it!   When I teach, I often reassure parents that ⅓ of their interactions with their child are “getting it right.”  About ⅓ of the time they are “getting it wrong” (whatever that even means- we all have our own, valid definitions).  The rest? The remaining ⅓? Well ideally, the other ⅓ is spent in repair.   Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/RuptureRepair Over on my website you can find: Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Parenting ‘experts’ forget to tell you the most important thing. All this advice??? You’ll never do it all the time or even most of the time. You don’t need to. That’s not the point. Together - me and you - let’s just aim for 1% better. Professionals- this one's for you, too. In this episode, you’ll learn A parenting professionals #1 job is to trust their clientsAim for 1% improvement. 5% ‘getting it right’ is better than 4%!Professionals don’t need all the answers. They need to believe their clients and not give upResources mentioned in this podcast: Neuroimmune Disorders and Big, Baffling, Behaviors With Dr. Qazi Javed {Ep 97}Neuroimmune From The Inside Out {Ep 98}Loving Someone With Baffling Behaviors {Ep 99} Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/enough Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

What is a vulnerable nervous system and how do you know if your child has one? Understanding what is meant by "vulnerable nervous system" can help you support your child with big, baffling behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: What do I mean by vulnerable nervous systemHow to know if your child has a vulnerable nervous systemWhat causes nervous system vulnerabilityHow to support a child who has a vulnerable nervous systemResources mentioned in this podcast: Robyn's Book: https://robyngobbel.com/book/ Attachment Series ebook: Robyngobbel.com/ebook The Club: RobynGobbel.com/TheClub Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/vulnerable Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Sometimes it’s those lower-level, chronic behaviors- like rudeness and sassiness- that can really deplete the very limited reserves we have saved up in our own window of stress tolerance. Then we waffle between over-responding (big reaction, tiny problem) or under-responding (ignoring dysregulation which ultimately leads to increased dysregulation).  Kids in chronic protection mode often seem rude, sassy, and mildly oppositional. What do we do when it feels like every word out of our own mouths would be to correct our kid’s tone or disrespect? In this episode, you’ll learn Where sassy, rude, and disrespectful language usually falls on the watchdog continuumPossibilities about what really be underneath your child’s rude behaviorTimes when it makes sense for our kids to have a what’s up watchdog brain response that we should respect, not try to changeResources mentioned in this podcast: Boundaries With Verbal Aggression With Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rude Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Understanding the difference between having influence over behavior vs. control can help you get clear on what to focus on.  One of the trickier parts of the work I do is talking so much with parents about attachment, their role in co-regulation, and felt-safety, without snagging into parent’s shame about every parent's deepest worry- that their child’s baffling behaviors are all their fault. In this episode, you’ll learn: What it means to influence, not controlWhat your real responsibility is in influencing behaviorResponsibility does not equal blameHow to acknowledge influence without shameRead a summary or the full transcript at: robyngobbel.com/influencebehaviors Over on my website you can find: Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

If you’ve ever wanted to eavesdrop on a conversation between two attachment, trauma, and neuro-nerds, today is your chance. Robyn and her dear friend and colleague, Jessica Sinarski, got together a few weeks ago for a live webinar to chat about how they have turned attachment science into practice. If you missed that webinar, here’s your chance to listen in. In this episode, you’ll learn Why most therapy trainings are inadequate for working with children with trauma and attachment historiesHow Robyn & Jessica learned how to put attachment science into practiceWhat to do if your clients what a behavioral approachWhy we don’t have to have all (or even most) of the answersResources mentioned in this podcast: Moving Beyond Trauma Informed with Jessica SinarskiBeing With with Robyn GobbelThere might be more, I’m not sureRead the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/attachmentscience/ Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between. In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship! In this episode, you’ll learn How availability of connection is a cue of safety or dangerHow neuroception can tell the state of the other person’s nervous system (connection or protection?)Why nervous systems are contagiousHow ‘between’ cues of safety eventually become ‘inside’ cues of safetyHow you can increase your own experience of safety even when you are parenting children in stuck in chronic procession modeResources mentioned in this podcast: Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Influence Behaviors, Not Control {Ep 101}Amanda Diekman’s Book! - Low-Demand ParentingRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetybetween Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment. In this episode, you’ll learn Misconceptions about felt safetyExternal (outside) cues of felt safety, such as the environment, sensory experiences, structure, and environmental demandsWhat we do with this informationResources mentioned in this podcast: What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84}Connection Or Protection??? {Ep 7}Marti’s Book! - The Connected TherapistRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyoutside Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation. This week begins a three-part deep-dive into the foundational concept of felt safety. What is felt safety, what isn’t felt safety, and why it matters! Next we will explore the many different ways we are all neuroceiving safety (or not) from our inner world. In this episode, you’ll learn Misconceptions about felt safetyInternal cues of felt safety, such as hunger, illness, or being in chronic protection modeWhat we do with this informationResources mentioned in this podcast: Focus On the Nervous System to Change Behavior {Ep 84}What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {Ep 81}Connection or Protection??? {Ep 7}Enabling Vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/feltsafetyinside Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

There’s a lot of confusion about what co-regulation really is.  Parents often say to me something like “OK, I get it- I’m supposed to give co-regulation instead of a consequence.  But- what does that really mean?  Like- what does co-regulation actually look like in real life?” Listen to the episode to learn: What regulation really isWhat co-regulation really isThe ‘ingredients’ of co-regulationAn example of in-real-life co-regulation (with an older child)Active vs. passive co-regulationIn this podcast, I mention: Is it really about trust? Or not enough co-regulation?  Building the Tower of Self-Regulation Regulation Does Not Equal Calm FREE One-page PDF infographic on What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like! CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/coregulation Over on my website you can find: Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside. If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior. This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well.  If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System! How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice? Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time? That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But… Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehavior Over on my website you can find: Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With Mark your calendar! The Club will be opening for next members starting Feburary 27 until March 5, 2024 (or until we reach capacity!)RobynGobbel.com/TheClub**** The podcast is searchable if you go to my website!RobynGobbel.com/podcastThere, you can type in any search word and instantly see what episodes I have that cover that topic! :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources