Advertise on podcast: The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

You've learned about the nervous system, you're trying to co-regulate, you're thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we're going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs. In this episode you'll learn: Why the question is never "what consequence haven't I tried yet?" — and what to ask insteadHow to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skillsWhy a child can "know" a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks likeResources mentioned in this podcast: Podcast Episodes Ep 198: All Behavior Makes Sense — deep dive into the moment the behavioral impulse firesEp. 9: Building the Tower of Self Regulation — very early episode about trust and what it means for kids with vulnerable nervous systems; link to go in show notesStarts at Ep. 161: Felt Safety series — multiple episodes: one on iCalling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired in September 2024.  Almost every time I teach, especially if there are folks in the audience not already familiar with my work or the concept of co-regulation, someone asks the very valid question of-  “Isn’t this (co-regulation) just coddling?” Fair question! There are a lot of underlying assumptions and fears in this question that we will deconstruct in today’s episode. Spoiler: Co-regulation is NOT coddling! In this episode, you’ll learn The difference between co-regulation and coddlingWhy asking this question helps us understand some of our fearsWhat trust has to do with co-regulationResources Mentioned on the Podcast Self-Regulation Doesn’t Exist!!What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Enabling vs. Low-Demand Parenting {Ep 144}Read the transcript at https://robyngobbel.com/coddling Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Listen in on a conversation I have with a Club member whose family lived through years of intense, violent, and deeply isolating behavior…and eventually found their way to something different. It’s a story about holding onto the truth of who your child is, even when everything in front of you makes that feel impossible. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “just tell me what to do” doesn’t work in the hardest situations, and what actually helps insteadHow holding onto your child’s true essence can anchor you, even in the most dysregulated momentsThe small, doable shifts that can begin to change things (even before behavior improves)Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/nostrategy Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Parenting a child with big, baffling behaviors can feel terrifying sometimes. Especially when those behaviors aren’t just frustrating… they’re dangerous. In this episode, I’m talking with a parent who knows that reality deeply, and who is also finding a way to hold onto hope. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why seeing your child as “good” doesn’t mean ignoring serious or dangerous behaviorHow one parent stays steady even when others say, “This child isn’t worth it.”What actually helps behavior change (hint: it’s not punishment, but it’s not the absence of accountability either) Resources mentioned in this podcast: Resources included in the blog summary go here Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/holdinghope Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if the biggest barrier to learning in the classroom isn’t behavior… but safety? Teachers are overwhelmed. Kids are dysregulated. And somewhere in the middle, everyone is trying their best…but it’s not working the way we hoped. In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Marti Smith and educator Amie Huggins to talk about what happens when we bring relational neuroscience into the classroom in real, practical ways. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why behavior in the classroom makes more sense when we see it as communication, not defianceHow connection, co-regulation, and felt safety actually support learning (not compete with it)Simple, realistic ways teachers can meet sensory and relational needs—even with a full classroom Resources mentioned in this podcast: GET - The Connected TherapistGET -Creating a Connected Classroom Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/connectedclassroom Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

When your kid melts down after school, it seems like they just have a bad attitude or don’t want to do homework. But sometimes those explosions have less to do with behavior and more to do with a nervous system that has been working hard to handle sensory stress all day long. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why do many kids fall apart after school, even if they seemed “fine” all dayHow the sensory environment at school can slowly chip away at a child’s regulationWhy after-school meltdowns often happen with the people kids feel safest with Resources mentioned in this podcast: RobynGobbel.com/freeresourcehubRobyngobbel.com/sensorywebinar Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/meltdownafterschool Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Have you ever had one of those moments where your child completely loses it over the wrong cup, a sibling getting too close, or one tiny thing at the end of the day? It can feel like they are actually mad at you- or their sibling. But actually, rude, defiant, or shutdown behavior might actually have a lot more to do with sensory overwhelm and a nervous system that’s simply run out of capacity and almost NOTHING to do with how mad they are because you gave them the wrong cup.  In this episode, you’ll learn: Why behaviors like sass, sibling aggression, and “you never listen!” can look relational but actually begin with sensory stress in the bodyHow everyday sensory input like noise, lights, smells, textures, movement, and school environments can chip away at your child’s window of tolerance?Why noticing your child’s sensory world can help you respond with more clarity, less personalization, and more support for regulation Resources mentioned in this podcast: When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma Part 1 of 6 {EP 250}Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar & eBookRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/traumashapednervoussystem Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

The Grief No One Talks About in Trauma-Informed Parenting Sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t your child’s behavior, it’s the grief that rises up inside you. The grief of not getting what you needed. The grief of still healing while you’re trying to parent intentionally. In this episode, we talk about the quiet, complicated grief that can come with parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma. In this episode, you’ll learn: The core griefs that often emerge when you’re parenting with your own trauma historyWhy noticing intergenerational patterns can stir shameHow to be with your grief using self-compassion and a gentle “touch in, touch out” approach Resources mentioned in this podcast: Podcast - Start Here!When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma: Part 1 of 6 {Ep 250} Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grieftraumahistory Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode is an update and re-record of episode 56 Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries. These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably. In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary. And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting. It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?" and then giving them that. It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes. It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors. And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need! Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/WhatAboutAConsequence Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If you’re parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma, you know that sometimes your reaction isn’t really about what’s happening in front of you; it’s about what’s happened before. In this episode, we’re talking about how to gently uncover what might be going on when you have a huge stress response to a stressor that didn’t quite need an attack-level watchdog response. In this episode, you’ll learn: What a trigger actually is (and why it doesn’t feel like one in the moment)How to tell if your nervous system is reacting to now… or something olderA simple step-by-step process to uncover and care for the belief driving your reaction If you’re ready to go deeper into this work, the full Trigger Hunting masterclass is inside The Club. Resources mentioned in this podcast: Trauma, Memory, & Behavior: Part 1 {EP 90}What a Trigger REALLY Is {EP 223} Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/parenttraumatriggers Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 94 The Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stressThe impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response SystemHow to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response SystemA reframe to shift your own Stress Response System Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, nervous system activation, and protective responses such as shutdown, dissociation, anger, and urgency. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening. If you have a history of trauma, your watchdog and possum parts have likely been working hard for a long time. And when you’re parenting a child with big baffling behaviors, those protectors can get loud. In this episode, we draw inspiration from Dan Siegel’s work to explore what it means to be with your watchdog and possum without becoming them. This isn’t about silencing your protectors. It’s about building a relationship with them. In this episode, you’ll learn: How state integration allows you to notice your watchdog and possum parts without fusing with themWhy curiosity and compassion widen your window of tolerance more effectively than control or self-criticismHow caring for your protective parts begins with awareness, gratitude, and understanding what they need Resources mentioned in this podcast: Free Resources Hub!Robyngobbel.com/webinar Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/caringforyourown Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 7 The brain has two modes- connection or protection. Protective behaviors include opposition, defiance, aggression- basically, any behavior that doesn't invite connection. If we want to help shift our children's oppositional behaviors, we must first help their brain shift out of protection and into protection! You can read more on my blog: robyngobbel.com/connectionorprotection/ Resources mentioned on the podcast: Match the Energy Not the Dysregulation ep 155Felt Safety Series- starts at ep 161Boundaries Series starts at ep 111Oppositional Behavior Series starts at 156All Behavior Makes Sense ep 198Focus on the Nervous System webinarCalling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, nervous system activation, and self-compassion. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening. Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can stretch your capacity in profound ways, especially when you have a history of trauma yourself. In this episode, we explore what it really means to nurture your window of tolerance, not through force or self-discipline, but through safety, connection, and compassion. This episode is about strengthening your own stress response system, not by pushing harder, but by offering your nervous system the conditions it needs to feel safe. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why widening your window of tolerance after trauma has to be gentle, relational, and slowHow self-compassion functions as a powerful intervention to support your own nervous systemPractical, realistic ways to nurture your window of tolerance through connection, repair, honoring limits, and micro-cues of safety Resources mentioned in this podcast: Free Resources Hub! Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/ParentWindowOfTole Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

On February 3, I taught a live webinar online- Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior. This is the audio-only version of that webinar! To watch the full video webinar and to download the accompanying resources, head to RobynGobbel.com/webinar In this webinar, you'll learn the three core tenets that underlie behavior changewhat behavior really ishow regulation, connection, and felt safety are related to behaviorhow the nervous system responds to stresswhy baffling behaviors are due to a sensitized stress response systemhow attachment or developmental trauma leads to baffling behaviorsCalling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors! I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th! Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app! *** Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals! Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 ::: The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store ::: Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion Follow Me On: Facebook Instagram Over on my website you can find: Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE) eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE) LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)