Advertise on podcast: Classically Trained

In this episode, we discuss the film The Odyssey (2026), dir. Christopher Nolan. The movie of the summer! In this one, we talk production ethics, Tumblr literary theory, and Sea Peoples.   Content warnings: Profanity Discussions of racism and misogyny Mentions of sexual assault -- Music by Dark Fantasy Studios.

We're back! In this episode, we discuss the novel The Thief, by Megan Whalen Turner. For once coming in at a reasonable length, we talk fantasy genre convention, Hesiod, and getting jumpscared by guns.   Content warnings: Profanity -- Music by Dark Fantasy Studios. -- Support us by subscribing to our patreon!

In this exceptionally lengthy episode, we break down a single episode of Ancient Apocalypse, the Netflix docuseries hosted by Graham Hancock. Suffice to say we did not enjoy it. Featuring carbon dating, the myth of the flood, Star Guy, and a whole lot of made up b******t.   Content warnings: Profanity Discussion of racism and white supremacy -- Music by Dark Fantasy Studios. -- Support us by subscribing to our patreon! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode, we tackle three episodes of the new series of Doctor Who: Fires of Pompeii, The God Complex, and The Eaters of Light. Featuring Sibyls, the etymology of 'volcano',  Roman sexuality, and, of course, some complaining about Steven Moffat, join us on this romp through a show that's beloved by both of us! (And, for funzies, a few comments about aliens and Atlantis that proved to be foreshadowing for our first episode of 2023...)   Content warnings: Profanity Discussion of sex and sexuality Discussion of death, including mass death in natural disasters Discussion of imperialism and imperial violence -- Music by Dark Fantasy Studios. -- Support us by subscribing to our patreon! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode, we discuss The Wicked and the Divine vols. 1-4, by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie. We talk Dionysus, the Satanic Panic (and also Satan, a bit), child sacrifice, and the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, plus a few takes that make it clear that at time of recording, neither of us had read the entire run. In summary: art good.   Content warnings: Profanity Discussion of child/infant death, specifically ritual child sacrifice Mentions of rape and sexual assault Mentions of sex and sexuality Discussion of drugs and drug use Mentions of racism and racist tropes Mentions of transphobia -- Music by Dark Fantasy Studios. -- Support us by subscribing to our patreon! And follow us on Twitter!

On this episode, we're joined by special guest Dr. Victoria Austen to discuss 1997 film Hercules. We talk trends in feminism, the Christianization of myth, and the cult of Elon Musk. Find Victoria on Twitter, @Vicky_Austen, and give her a follow! And click here for Dr. Polt's threads on Hercules, as mentioned by Victoria. -- Music by Dark Fantasy Studios. -- Support us by subscribing to our patreon! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode on the FINAL (AT LAST) Percy Jackson book, we talk about the Iliad (some more), Nico DiAngelo ex machina, and why Hestia is the most underrated Greek deity.    Content Warnings: Mentions of canon-typical violence and death -- Music by Dark Fantasy Studios. -- Support us by subscribing to our patreon! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode, we dive into one of Julia's favourite movies, 1999's The Mummy. Turns out one of Julia's favourite movies is pretty racist. Featuring (a significant lack of) archaeological ethics, the magical ability to read ancient Egyptian, and yet another shoutout to our friend and yours Edward Said.   Content Warnings: Extensive discussion of racism and racist (particularly orientalist) tropes Mentions of cannibalism Brief mention of incest Profanity Discussion of violence, death, and human remains   Support us by buying us a coffee! And follow us on Twitter!

This episode, we have a special guest: friend of the podcast Madi, who is a dedicated fan of Percy Jackson and joined us to share her perspective on this book! Digressions include environmentalism, how to pronounce 'Daedalus', and the Teletubby vaccination forgery scandal.   Content warnings: Profanity Discussion of violence and death; mentions of body horror (possession) Discussion of sexual assault   Support us by buying us a coffee! And follow us on Twitter!

In this special episode, Julia strikes out on her own to conduct a semi-scholarly takedown of C.S. Lewis's Till We Have Faces. Spoilers: she hated it. Featuring unfortunate fantasy naming, the Christianization of Cupid and Psyche, and a weak attempt to explain Apuleius.   Content warnings: Profanity Discussion of racism and misogyny   Support us by buying us a coffee! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode we discuss Percy Jackson book 3: The Titan's Curse. Featuring: both-sides-ism, a small amount of complaining about philosophy professors, and a pitch for casting Aphrodite. Also, we call Rick Riordan out for fridging. We continue to have mad nostalgic fun with these episodes.   Content warnings: Mild profanity Discussion of violence and death Mentions of sexuality and sexual assault   Support us by buying us a coffee! And follow us on Twitter!

This episode, we have a special treat: an interview with author Nicholas Nicastro on his recently-published novel, The River Through Rome. Featuring engineering logistics, a shoutout to flat-earthers, and the refrigerator door theory of writing inspiration, we hope you enjoy this conversation--we sure did! Apologies for some inconsistency in audio quality--this was our first recording after Julia moved away, as well as our first recording with a remote guest, so we ended up having to mix and match a bit.    Content warnings: Mentions of sex and sexuality Mild profanity -- Check out Nicholas's work at any of the following places: www.nicastrobooks.com On Instagram @nicastromedia On Facebook as Books by Nicholas Nicastro And you can purchase and review his books in paperback or ebook via Amazon, or as an audiobook via Audible. -- Support us by buying us a Ko-Fi! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode we discuss Natalie Haynes's 2019 novel A Thousand Ships. Digressions include identity theft, ancient clothing, and ecofascism. We also spend a while simping for basically every ancient woman mentioned.   Content warnings: Profanity Discussion of violence and death Discussion of rape and sexual assault Mentions of slavery Mentions of sex and sexuality   Notes: The French story about a man replacing his dead comrade that Julia referenced was the story of Martin Guerre, which was indeed historical.  And a small correction: the word for Penelope and Odysseus's likemindedness is "homophrosyne" not "symphrosyne".   Support us by buying us a coffee! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode we discuss the television series Supernatural. We take a long trip down memory lane--way down. Right to hell, in fact. Featuring: fanfiction, the University of Washington-Seattle, and some good ol' fashioned misogyny. Actually, a lot of good ol' fashioned misogyny.    Content warnings: Mild profanity Discussion of violence and death Mentions of sex and sexuality Mentions of police brutality Discussion of homophobia, racism, and sexism   Support us by buying us a coffee! And follow us on Twitter!

In this episode, we discuss the 2004 film Troy, starring Brad Pitt. Unsurprisingly, we had a lot to say. Featuring: American imperialism, and Homeric combat, and just a little bit more complaining about the costuming in Troy: Fall of a City.   Support us by buying us a coffee! And follow us on Twitter!