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This week we have Professor The Pause, straight outta Cambridge! He teaches us about Gravity and Gravy! We learn how space and time are relatives like kissing cousins! We discuss the frozen floating city of Athens, the power of a good BONK!, Gravy art, Maths, and his power legit terrifies everyone to their booones! And, ok you’re gonna wanna hear this, Fissure complains about fast food burgers getting smaller! And if you have a minute, Gas Lighter infiltrates a New Rebel Orientation Pizza Party for the Gas Mask Rebellion as the Mustache Poncho Cool Guy!! We also read mail from Hard-Man and help live up to his well endowed name! If you want your like whole frickin' life saved, write in for hero advice from the top hero's!!! Email Ewhale: [email protected] Hard Man's letter written by: Josiah Carlson The Pause: Cedric Xavier He also drew the episode cover art! Yay! fb/Insta: @⁠cedricxavierofficial Also check out his Music! @TheWakeBound Fissure: Blade Frank fb/Insta: @bladejfrank Gas Lighter: Theodoros Blue Insta: @theodoros.blue.ha Theme song: "Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ And but lastly here's a list of the angels who make free sound effects in their free time. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rip00tSu0r8-CHtZMo3d1W7uSAH6AuswXN73pV2vAYk/edit?usp=sharing

This week we return to the SSS-HHHH! Grease Ball teaches us about being crispy and soggy, McDonald's Secret Menu, McDonald's Secret Bio Engineered Children, McDonald's secret grease source, how Tower Seven got greased, Ancient Grease, and how to be a "Good Citizen." A real Zero-Trans-Fats-To-Hero-Story. Plus we discuss the appropriate way to talk to hot teenagers! And also Fissure gets milked and goes to the dentist! But then also this week the Gas Mask Rebels make tyranny inconvenient for Gas Lighter! We also read mail from Risa and help her with poor people problems! If you want your like whole frickin' life saved, write in for hero advice from the top hero's!!! Email Ewhale: [email protected] Risa's letter written by: Risa! Grease Ball: Kole Donovan He also drew the episode cover art! Yay! fb/Insta: @kole.donovan.7 Fissure: Blade Frank fb/Insta: @bladejfrank Gas Lighter: Theodoros Blue Insta: @theodoros.blue.ha Theme song: "Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ And but lastly here's a list of the angels who make free sound effects in their free time. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rip00tSu0r8-CHtZMo3d1W7uSAH6AuswXN73pV2vAYk/edit?usp=sharing

Must Listen to the end for one simple trick to be unbeatable at Heads or Tails!!!! Statisticians hate her! This week MILK SHAKE brings herself to the podcast! She teaches us about England (Oi Dolly!,) shapes, not colors, duck vaginas, how they say AC across the pond (Govanahh,) al-Qaeda  's fun side, and teases us with a mention of her stripper monologue/epic poem! Also at one point MILK SHAKE and Gas Lighter bond over having lactose intolerance and their "friends" intolerance of their lactose intolerance! And I want to point out, Fissure and Gas Lighter go shopping! And then this other time Fissure almost publicly apologizes! And then after that, or before that, I don't remember, he shows us his cool! new! sword! We also read mail from Phlamby and fix his dix! If you want your like whole life saved write in for hero advice from the top hero's!!! [email protected] Phlamby the Phallic Phusion Phenomenon letter written by: Jamie Boucher MILK SHAKE: Brittany Holden She also drew the episode cover art! Yay! Insta: @ britt.ho.comedy Fissure: Blade Frank fb/Insta: @bladejfrank Gas Lighter: Theodoros Blue Insta: @theodoros.blue.ha Ocarina Solo!! - By Serge Quadrado Music Theme song: "Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ And but lastly here's a list of the angels who make free sound effects in their free time. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rip00tSu0r8-CHtZMo3d1W7uSAH6AuswXN73pV2vAYk/edit?usp=sharing

This week the boys take the chill pill with the Most Notorious Undercover Super Hero! We learn about how to stay wet on the CornHub, how to stop school tragedy's, the 90s, what actually happened at the Lincoln assassination, secrets about Osama Bin Ladans favorite cave, and Chill-X brought gifts! And also one time in this episode Fissure may save hungry children with his skin oil! Don't worry it tastes good! Then this other time in this episode Gas Lighter learns that he's eskimo brothers with the forefathers! We also read mail from The Human Winch and solve like his whole life. If you want your like whole life saved write in for hero advice from the top hero's!!! [email protected] The Human Winch letter written by: Zerin Bates Chill-X: Chris Jessop He also drew the episode cover art! Yay! Insta: @ JessopJokes Fissure: Blade Frank fb/Insta: @bladejfrank Gas Lighter: Theodoros Blue Insta: @theodoros.blue.ha Theme song: "Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Also big ups to @deawthanapon on Pixabay for the chill lofi this episode needed:Lofi Relax Beat Loop BPM 88 Eb major ii V I And but lastly here's a list of the angels who make free sound effects in their free time. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rip00tSu0r8-CHtZMo3d1W7uSAH6AuswXN73pV2vAYk/edit?usp=sharing

***GREAT PLACE TO START FOR NEW LISTENERS*** This week Proctor Loans teaches the boys about financial planning, adding 00000s, %s, how to have vision, and how to come out on top in a divorce and bottom in an orphanage. We learn that money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of parents. Plus! We rank animals and Proctor is a cute old man in a lil kid tuxedo. AAAAW!! Also this time Fissure is back and stickier than ever, regales us with stories from within the bone cocoon, as well as showcases a whole bunch of his new beta-powers! To round out what the heck everyone's upto, The Gas Lighter struggles with everyone thinking he's the smartest, strongest, and sexiest hero. Don't forget: write in for hero advice!  ⁠[email protected]⁠ Proctor Loans: Josiah Carlson Fb/Insta: @ajosiahcarlson Episode art: Josiah Carlson’s off-hand. Fissure: Blade Frank fb/Insta: @bladejfrank Gas Lighter: Insta: @theodoros.blue.ha Theme song: "Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Also here's a list of the angels who make free sound effects in their free time. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rip00tSu0r8-CHtZMo3d1W7uSAH6AuswXN73pV2vAYk/edit?usp=sharing

This week the Gas Lighter and Cotton Mouth interview an actual TOP(less) HERO from just the tip of the Pacific Protectors Tower!! Mama we made it!! She-Man reveals all about Middle America, old/new super, bar culture, inner-ish earth bar shenanigans, the difference between menopaused and putting your man-on-pause, and how she wears her readers without ears! Wow! That all happened, but then right before all that Gas Lighter completes his 1000 step plan for world domination! Yay! Plus wow even more! Cotton Mouth makes questionable purchases! And maybe is reunited with is mom!?!?!?! Don't forget: write in for hero advice!  ⁠[email protected]⁠ She-Man: Cameron Frisk Insta @camfrisk Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino Gas Lighter: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Theme song: "Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

This week we get to explore the animal kingdom with Beasiatlity Boy! He teaches Tooter Shooter and Cotton Mouth about crimes of parking, just farm boy things, the dark side of PETA, that animals are not as easy as they look, how to live without regrets, what it takes to be banned from Rover, his new app, and why you shouldn't read the Terms & Conditions! Aaaaand Tooter Shooter enters his Kick Ass Era, and Cotton Mouth needs a roommate!! But also, don't miss out on Fissure doing something! On top of that! El Janitor stops in for some Janitoring! Don't forget: write in for hero advice!  ⁠[email protected]⁠ Beastiality Boy: Quade Wayne Insta @quade_wayne Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino Tooter Shooter: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

This week the boys get in a St. Paddies day scuffle with a God! Then they talk it out over a doobie! Zed teaches the boys about the 1st major Hero Union the Pantheon, why true hero's don't wear blue jeans, god rebrandings, why sweet hangs are more important than saving lives, the origin of the Minotaur, rebuilding the rubble side of town, that its ok to be straight, and that we are all a lil gay. Oh! and Cotton Mouth shows off his new move the Inner Thigh Slither Attack, and Tooty Shooty is forced to bust out a move still in development, the Liquid Fart! Actually additionally, Tooty Shooty is finally honest about the Super Suit-tuation! Gather your family for this St. Paddies Day Special episode! And also, write in for hero advice!  ⁠[email protected]⁠ ZED : Russell Samler  IG: @russellsamler Check out his podcast! Connor's Ep: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iffpLuZ8wFA Theo's Ep: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JmnYLiH_nc Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino Tooty Shooty: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

This week Boner Boy teaches Tooty Shooty and Cotton Mouth about the power of growing and showing, dads dick pills, what it’s like being a big dong country mouse in the big PP city, how to become a Registered Sex Hero, the secrets behind penis durability, and he shows us c**k tricks! And also he pushes his limits and invents the Dick Jizzcuzzi! Plus! Hear about Tooty and Cottonmouths trip to Dr. Urine’s Piss Dungeon!  And even more! They scuffled with Snake Assassins!  Yet still more! Check out Don Kramers new music video here: https://youtu.be/XozWA3FFoaI?si=2I0jYI1Selrz3ORZ And also, write in for hero advice!  [email protected] Boner Boy: Kent Hunter  IG: @kenthuntercomedy Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino Tooty Shooty: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Montage Music by AudioCoffee:  https://www.audiocoffee.net/Upbeat Country Blues (loop ver.1) Upbeat Country Blues (loop ver.2)

This week Tooty Shooty and Cottonmouth talk all things pee with Dr. Urine. Get your bed pans ready! This episode is as piss soaked as young Dr. Urines pants. Dr. Urine goes beyond the piss and teaches us about urology, the dangers of pee back ups, how to turn your shame into strength, charming yet slutty uncles, why the WNBA is so slippery, and some guy he has locked in his basement! Plus! Also! Dr. Urine and Tooty Shooty bond over harnessing our dirty holes! And! Plus! More! As well! Cottonmouth relates because he is a freak! Also! Even more than you thought! Tooty Shooty does volunteer work and Cottonmouth is shedding...like a lot! Dr. Urine: Eoghan Gallivan Insta: @tribalsleeve Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino Tooty Shooty the Fartist Formally known as the Anussent Bystander Assister: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

This week the Anussent-Bystander-Assister and Cottonmouth catch Tammi Lynn on her Tammi Lynn's Tuna Noodle Casserole Tuesdays Tour! She shares motherly advice about the Mid-West, the secret to a perfect Tuna Noodle Casserole, wet noodle dreams, Moon Man Made Moon Mayonnaise (MMMMM,) the secret moon invasion, and how to use comfort food for road rage! 
 And also additionally Cottonmouth showcases a new power: the Kinda Camouflage! 
 Plus actually, the Fartist Formally Known as Janus Jazzplin showcases his new power: the Blue Dart! As well as doing science and convincing everyone he totally didn't murder the Dead Guy in the studio! 
 Tammi Lynn from Tammi Lynn's Tuna Noodle Casserole Tuesdays Tour: Maggi Mayfield Insta: @maggimayfield + Check out her very funny musical comedy! YouTube: @maggimayfieldcomedy 
 Deadbeat Dad/Dead Guy: Mark Godfrey Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino 
 Diamond Dairy-air: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha 
 Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

ITS THE VALENTINES SPECIAL! YAY LOVE! This week the Terrific Tooter and Cotton Mouth are broken hearted. Divorced Dad teaches us the cause of Erectile Disfunction, when to get into a relationship, how to do the perfect divorce, about life after love and love after life, how to solve world hunger by imprisoning healers and turkeys, and that love is dead and you should stop trying. Happy Valentines Day! And also you won't believe it, the Fantastic Farter becomes a father and was immediately cut out of his sons life, Cotton Mouth finds a wet way to inner earth, and Fissure keeps moaning! Divorced Dad: Zach Leboza Insta: @latinxleboza Podcast: ATX Comedy Review Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino Diamond Dairy-air: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Cocoon: Blade Frank Insta: @bladejfrank Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

**ANOTHER GREAT PLACE TO START FOR NEW LISTENERS.** This week the Fartist Formally Known as Diamond Dairy-Air returns from a romantic getaway with Fissures mom and the new Co-Host/potential side kick Cotton Mouth settles into the SSSHH-HH. Purple Thunder teaches us about stylish entrances, vodka, growing up powerless, split personalitys, the effectiveness of negging, Penjamins, and the importance of dissasociating. 
 Plus! Don Kramer hits hard with bars. Plus also! Don Kramer shows us his super mask made out of man skin! 
 Purple Thunder/Don Kramer: Dom LaMarca Insta: @Upspliffted Youtube: Upspliffted Inc. 
 Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino 
 Diamond Dairy-air: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha 
 Cocoon: Blade Frank FB&Insta: @bladejfrank 
 Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ 
 Super Beat:very dark hip hop beat 84 bpm.aif by exotonestudio -- https://freesound.org/s/416989/

Returning from a crazy long 1 month break the Diamond Dairy-Air and Fissure discuss the Wiffle Ball Finals, Fissure's stand against the PP, and the milk is officially un-F*CKed with! Then we learn about inner earth, lizard people, PP highschool, the Desert, first kiss/kills, and the soothing sensation of a warm rock with Cottonmouth! AS WELL AS the truth behind the milk prophesy and stick around for the Diamond Dairy-air to lose all his friends! Loneliness! Betrayal! and More! Cottonmouth: Connor Corsentino Insta: @connorcorsentino Fissure: Blade Frank FB&Insta: @bladejfrank Diamond Dairy-air: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Benson Reynolds, Dr. Bones: Josiah Carlson fb&insta: @ajosiahcarlson   (CHECK OUT HIS ART IT'S PRETTY RAD) Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

This week the Diamond Dairy-Air and Fissure are stickier than usual! Black Head teaches us about ether bars, estate sales, confidence paint, the joy of killing, heavy thoughts, Kevin's lil buns, scoliosis of the penis, and the difference between juice and Jews.  Plus! The Diamond Dairy-Air found a milk prophesy, had a meeting with big nut, and snaps! And more plus! Fissure is fresh off a 5 day honey bath and sells explicit photos of the Diamond Dairy-Air to the media! Black Head: Derek Schoonover FB&Insta: @dontbefun Fissure: Blade Frank FB&Insta: @bladejfrank Diamond Dairy-air: Theodoros Blue Insta:@theodoros.blue.ha Theme song:"Mistake the Getaway" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Casa Bossa Nova Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/