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Vaginismus isn’t often talked about in mainstream conversation, and it certainly doesn’t show up in romance novels. Drawing from her own health journey, Hayley Fleming dives in head first with her debut novel Thighs Wide Shut. In this episode, you’ll learn more about vaginismus through the author's story, her advice to other women, and how to advocate for yourself.  Find Hayley on Instagram Mentioned in this episode Pain and Sex Painful sex and pelvic health Stretched out vaginas and other myths Tips from my pelvic floor physical therapist ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Do you have a hidden desire killer happening within your relationship? Researcher Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is back to discuss one of her latest studies about the consequences of replacing partnering with supervising in a relationship. Hear how caretaking and correcting each other can be the enemies of eroticism, and how to fix it. Find Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons Mentioned in this episode Arya use code CS15 How much does frequency matter with Dr. Candice Self-pleasure and women’s wellness with Dr. Candice Talking with a partner about sex 5 questions every couple should answer Sexual communication Communication, Couples and Sex ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Do you experience a dynamic of push-and-pull in your relationship? Or a cycle of one partner pursuing sex and one partner withdrawing? These common scenarios are explained by my guest Laurie Watson, PhD, a leading expert in sexual attachment. She shares how your attachment style affects your sexual relationship, including how to work toward a secure attachment for great sex. As Laurie says, “Great sex isn’t about technique, but about attunement.”  Laurie’s Love and Sex Quiz Brave Love Great Sex More on these topics: Keeping it hot in long term relationships Practices for positive relationships Sexual communication Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions Five questions for couples Why don't I want sex as much as my partner ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Many people don’t take ownership of their own pleasure. Whether you don’t feel deserving, feel like it’s a partner’s responsibility, were taught it’s selfish, or just never thought about it in this way - my guest Brooke Bralove wants you to know you deserve pleasure. Join us as we delve into taking ownership of your own pleasure and the steps to get you there. Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use discount code CINDY Find Brooke Bralove Mentioned in this episode: Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto What are you saying with your touch with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh Embracing your desire and sexual agency The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

In long term relationships it’s easy to fall into a sexual routine. When sex becomes boring, it’s hard to stay interested! Listen in to hear how to create minor risks, introduce an element of unpredictability and generate sexual excitement for an enduring sex life. Mentioned in this episode: Affection and Touch How Curiosity Fuels Desire Positions with Props Kink Curious Coital Alignment Technique Vanilla with a Cherry on Top Embracing Your Desire Keeping it Hot in Long Term Relationships ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Women’s pain is often dismissed, especially pelvic pain and painful periods. Mallory Stuparich MD joins me to talk about endometriosis and how to advocate for yourself. We discuss symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment options for women suffering from what’s often referred to as the “invisible disease.”  Find @MalloryStuparichMD on socials Mentioned in this episode: Tips from my pelvic floor therapist Stretched out vaginas and other myths Pelvic health and pelvic pain ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Pairing clitoral stimulation with penetrative sex is often the route for more pleasure and orgasms for women. In this episode, learn about a technique called Coital Alignment. This is a variation on the missionary position that incorporates pairing and rocking techniques.  Mentioned in this episode: Pleasure techniques on the blog Pleasure techniques episode What you need to know about the clitoris Cliteracy Becoming Cliterate book review ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Pleasure is good for you! Researcher Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons joins me to discuss the data on the wellness benefits of masturbation. Learn some suprising upsides for your sleep, confidence and stress level with the results of this study on self-pleasure and vibrator use. Learn more about Dr. Candice Mentioned in this episode: Dr. Candice in Season Five Masturbation with August McLaughlin Researcher Debby Herbenick on the podcast: Rise in rough sex Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one Community questions: Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex Natural health benefits of orgasms The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

It’s time to unlock your erotic potential with somatic psychotherapist and sex therapist Carly Mountain. She joins me to talk about her newest book, Untamed Pleasure: Unleash Your True Erotic Nature. Learn about embodied pleasure, why women need relaxed arousal, and how the cervix can be a powerful portal of orgasmic potential.  Learn more about Carly Mountain In this episode: Embodiment and pleasure Just how much does frequency matter Keeping it hot in long term relationship Untangling sexual shame Women’s Anatomy of Arousal  book review Tips for multiple orgasms ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Vanilla sex is loved by many, but for some it can get a little mundane. Have you ever wanted to add a touch of variety? Nothing too crazy or complicated but something to spark curiosity? In this episode I share four easy ideas to add a cherry on top of vanilla sex. Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY Mentioned in this episode: Ten tips to a better bedroom on the blog Sexify your space episode Guide to lube Using your senses for pleasure Foreplay 101 Turn up the volume on your sex life Positions with props Kink curious Five questions for couples ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Women often feel burnout from taking care of everyone around them before caring for themselves. The term self-care is trending, but how can we go about doing it? Therapist Jen Hershey joins me to share her perspective, including ideas around alignment and learning to listen to your inner authority. This conversation is an invitation to move through life with more trust, clarity and intention. Learn more about Jen Hershey, LMFT ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Dial up the heat of arousal using your fingers! Listen in to learn some new techniques including various kinds of pressure, rhythms and motions. Discover broadening, hinting, and different styles of finger touch for increased pleasure. Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube, use code CINDY  More on these topics The clitoris is a whole network The clitoral hood The G-spot 24 conversation starters to help you talk about sex with a partner ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Have you ever been having sex and suddenly your arousal just disappears? From this episode you’ll gain a deeper understanding of how arousal and desire really work, as well as factors that influence it. You’ll also learn three things research shows that long-term couples can do to experience sexual satisfaction as desire changes over time. Mentioned in this episode: Sex on the brain Understanding  sexual desire styles Partner sexual desire discrepancies How curiosity fuels desire Reclaim your arousal mindset Community questions: arousal, role play and condoms 3 tips for speeding up arousal ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Vibrators and sex toys don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo. In this episode I walk through why vibrators work for women and how to choose one. I also offer a few communication tips for introducing a toy with a partner. Mentioned in the episode: Clitoral Network blog Pleasure techniques with penetration Maude use code CINDY10 The Clitoris has a hood Megan’s episode about introducing a vibrator Vibrator episode with Dr. Shannon Chavez Vibrators on the blog When a partner wants to try something new Intimate Wellbeing use CINDY15 Dame ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog

Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA joins me to talk about their book co-authored with Stephanie Covington called: Awaken Your Sexuality: A Guide to Connection and Intimacy after Addiction and Trauma. We discuss the prevalence and normalization of substances as a pathway to sexual behavior, and how sexual responses can be filtered and affected through this lens. Vanessa also shares how shame can keep us from using our personal power to find intimacy and a satisfying sex life. Learn more about Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA More on this topic: Slow Pleasure with Euphemia Russell Sexual shame with Mathias Roberts Using your senses for pleasure Pleasure after trauma Supporting Survivors ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog