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Episode summary When Kate Kirkman was struggling with perimenopause, her husband Brent went looking for an app to help her track her HRT. After 25 years in IT building data loyalty programmes, he knew to read the privacy policies, and he didn’t like what he found. So they built their own app. That app became Talia, a private symptom and HRT tracker. In this episode, Kate and Emma talk about what happens to the sensitive health data women put into menopause apps, why “free” is never really free, and how to check whether the apps on your phone deserve your trust. In this episode we discuss How two friends had to tell Kate she wasn’t herself before she recognised perimenopause Why menopause awareness only lands once you realise it applies to you How the frustration of forgetting patches and progesterone led to Talia Independent testing of 10 menopause apps, all of which shared data with third parties, often as soon as the app was opened and before any sign-up What SDKs (software development kits) are and how they quietly send data back to their own servers Data brokers, profiling, targeted advertising and surveillance pricing Why where your data is stored matters, including apps whose servers sit outside UK/EU GDPR protections Research from Royal Holloway on how health app data could affect employment and health insurance Forced consent, blanket consent, and data kept for up to seven years after you ask for it to be deleted Why privacy policies and app “badges” don’t guarantee what really happens to your data How tracking symptoms helped Kate move from patches to gel to spray, and why better data means better GP appointments Talia’s talks with the NHS, its hope for a real-world evidence study, and its choice to stay bootstrapped and avoid investors and ad spend How user feedback shapes the app, including a body map for rotating patch sites Location tracking and real-time ad auctions Key takeaways Nothing is free. If you’re not paying for an app, ask who is, and what the trade-off is. Opening an app can be enough to share data with third parties before you’ve signed up. Knowing you use a menopause app is enough for data brokers to start drawing conclusions about you. A privacy policy is a promise, not a regulation. It can change at any time, for example after new investment. Check your apps. Peak Privacy’s site lets you see whether an app you use has been scanned and whether to trust it. Review location permissions. Many apps track where you are in the background, even when you’re not using them. A thought to sit with Kate asks listeners to picture this: you’re telling your GP about your most personal symptoms, and behind a screen sit people from an advertising company and an analytics firm, taking notes. That’s the reality of many health apps.   Find Talia at talia-app.com  Find the Peak Privacy checker at stemp.li

Middling Along is back after a longer-than-usual summer break, and we're returning with two guests who've spent nearly 15 years asking one question: what happens when men become part of the conversation on gender fairness at work, instead of standing outside it? Brad Johnson is Professor Emeritus of Leadership, Ethics and Law at the US Naval Academy. David Smith is co-director of the Gender and Work Initiative at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School. Their new book, Fair Share: How Men and Women Can Create a More Equitable Workplace Together, is their third together, following Athena Rising and Good Guys. It moves on from individual allyship to the harder question of how to fix the systems that keep producing the same inequities. This conversation is refreshingly blunt about what isn't working, and practical about what to do instead. In this episode: Why the workplace is broken for men too. Workplaces built for our grandfathers still assume women are natural carers and men are natural breadwinners. That fails dual-career families, drives men towards burnout, and leaves women carrying the load at home. The surprising brain benefit of hands-on fathering. Engaged caregiving is linked to greater neuroplasticity and lower dementia risk in dads. Stop treating gender fairness as a "women's issue." If all the progress in your organisation depends on an unfunded women's network and one person in HR, leadership doesn't own it. Beyond the cupcakes-and-balloons International Women's Day panel. What leaders who mean it actually do: they stay in the room, share their personal "why", commit to measurable actions, and are open about the targets they miss. "Fix the system, not the women." The story of a leadership award winner sent on her fifth women's leadership course, only to return to a workplace that hadn't changed at all. Caring beyond childcare. Why new eldercare and caregiver leave policies go unused, and how coaching before, during and after leave changes that. Plus the leadership skills carers develop, and why returners are an untapped talent pool. The DEI retreat. Some organisations rebranded, a minority walked away entirely, and some are rediscovering their courage. A striking statistic. In the US, the share of men out of the workforce to provide eldercare tripled last year. Takeaways for home and work. A domestic audit with your partner that covers the mental load, not just the tasks. Role modelling from every level of management. And a challenge to men: be willing to downshift your career for a season so your partner can step up. If you're a sandwich carer, a manager trying to get beyond the performative, or you want someone in your life to hear this, this is the episode to share. Links Brad and David's work: workplaceallies.com Fair Share, Good Guys and Athena Rising: https://workplaceallies.com/books/home Brad Johnson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wbradjohnson/ and David Smith: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidgsmithphd/ on LinkedIn Leah Ruppanner's MissPerceived podcast: https://www.leahruppanner.com/podcast

In this episode I chat to Kelly Keating: executive coach, master's student, and founder of new festival kid on the block, Wild and Wiser, a festival for women redefining success in midlife. Kelly spent almost 30 years in corporate life before leaving at 47 to build a portfolio career around coaching, creativity, and connection. In this conversation, Kelly shares the story behind her reinvention, what finally pushed her to go all in, and why she decided to put on a festival.   Key topics covered Kelly's squiggly career path from a grammar school girl labelled as "naughty" to account director, RNLI transformation lead, flexible working champion in financial services, and startup, before going all in on coaching discovering a love of facilitation and bringing people together to improve systems using lean methodology Flexible working advocacy and championing job sharing long before COVID, training hundreds of managers on job design Her "fluid career": Kelly references the concept from Colin Newland: blending multiple strands of interest rather than following a linear path The pivot point when her father died unexpectedly at 70, which became the catalyst: "What am I waiting for? Life isn't a practice run." Why put on a festival? The convergence of Kelly's love of festivals, her wedding venue in Wareham Forest, the "Aspiring Women" network she'd built over 15 years, and a desire to amplify brilliant female voices The Wild and Wiser ethos: by women, for women; embracing nature, intuition, and the wisdom you've always had   About Wild and Wiser Festival Dates: 19–20 September 2026 Location: Wareham Forest, Dorset (glamping, camping, and day tickets available   Links & resources Wild and Wiser festival: wildandwiser.co.uk Instagram: @wildandwiser Use Emma's code WWWKD10_EMMAT at checkout for a 10% discount on a weekend ticket

If life keeps speeding up and the demands keep stacking up (kids, parents, work, your own busy brain) then this one's for you. In this episode I interview speaker, writer and self-development expert Lily Silverton about her book Prioritize This: A Practical Guide for Thriving in a World That Won't Slow Down. We dig into three chapters that land hardest for the midlife squeezed middle: stress, overwhelm, and procrastination and some practical, brain-based tools for each. Lily is candid about her own experiences navigating the combination of a seriously ill father and young children, and why she has no time for self-help advice written for people with no heed for the demands of real life. We discuss: The two most robust, evidence-backed interventions — movement and social connection. Building your own bespoke stress toolkit (the "pick and mix", not the prescriptive programme) SITs and SATs: stress-inducing vs stress-alleviating thoughts, and turning the dial down on catastrophising The multitasking myth — why it's really task switching, and what each switch costs you Three questions to cut through overwhelm Procrastination as emotional management, not time management - aka "what feeling am I avoiding?" AI, the hamster wheel, and whether technology will actually save us time... Resources and Links: Lily's books: Prioritize This and The Priorities Method journal Exercises and downloads at the Prioritize This website: https://www.prioritisethis.com/ Instagram: @lily_silverton Website: lilysilverton.com Substack: https://prioritisethis.substack.com/ Don't forget you can find out how to work with me and the back archive of this podcast at www.thetripleshift.org/starthere - and if you enjoyed this episode please do write us a short review to help others discover Middling Along!

We say "I've got nothing to wear" standing in front of a full wardrobe. Samantha Harman's argument is that the sentence has nothing to do with clothes — it's about not knowing who we're supposed to be. In this episode I talk to best-selling author, stylist and former journalist Samantha Harman about her book Just Get Dressed: Why You Have Nothing to Wear and What to Do About It — a styling book with no pictures and no body-shape rules, built instead around the inner work most of us avoid. It's a conversation about generational trauma, the prehistoric brain, the martyrdom of the women in the squeezed middle, and why getting dressed in the morning is so flipping hard. What we cover: Why "nothing to wear" is never about a lack of clothes... and what your wardrobe is actually a manifestation of (beliefs, identity, class, politics, generational trauma) The problem with the personal styling industry: more rules, more prescription, more exhaustion Epigenetics and the prehistoric brain — why being a visible woman registers as dangerous, and why the fabulous outfit stays on the hanger Clothing as a business tool — and why men have always been allowed to use it while women get judged for it The "bag of potatoes" meeting: how an ill-fitting supermarket shirt quietly costs you authority, presence and opportunity The compare-and-despair cycle and the social-media misery machine: and the reminder that all of it, even "authentic" personal brands, is marketing Enclothed cognition: why what you wear changes the actions you take (and how you handle Barry from accounts) Midlife as an opportunity, not a decline — finances, time, intelligence, and finding the rooms with brilliant women in them Two exercises from the book: meeting the 5-year-old who's really running your wardrobe, and the letter from your 90-year-old self Emotional spending, scarcity tactics and how retailers weaponise your feelings — plus the fast-fashion harm hiding behind "retail therapy" The wardrobe edit as a non-negotiable business activity — and the one thing to do first: get rid of what you hate Find Samantha here: Just Get Dressed: Why You Have Nothing to Wear and What to Do About It - available on Amaz*n, or justgetdressed.com https://www.instagram.com/styleeditoruk/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-harman-style-editor/ Enjoyed this episode?  Follow Middling Along wherever you listen, and consider leaving a review — it genuinely helps other midlife women find the show. For weekly research and commentary on midlife wellbeing, subscribe to Emma's Substack, The Messy Middle: https://middlingalong.substack.com/

Alex Perry is doing something unusual: he's a young man building a women's health-led underwear brand, and talking openly about menopause, mastectomy recovery and vulval health while he does it. In this conversation, Emma and Alex explore: How his company, Alexander Clementine pivoted from a sustainable fashion focus into women's health after customer reviews and his own mum's breast cancer journey revealed an unmet need Why use seaweed (and specifically Icelandic seaweed harvested every four years) to make a fabric naturally antibacterial, anti-odour, temperature-regulating, moisture-wicking, hypoallergenic and rich in antioxidants The environmental case against synthetic underwear, and why fibres made from petrochemicals are particularly concerning in a menopause context (carcinogens, hormone disruptors, trapped heat and moisture) "Menopause-washing" — how to read the label and spot brands cashing in without using fabrics that actually help How the underwear helps with external-facing symptoms of menopause — hot flushes, heightened sensitivity, dry and itchy skin, vulval discomfort — and where it fits in breast cancer recovery (two-to-four weeks post-surgery, not as an immediate post-surgical compression bra) Why Alex believes men need to be part of the menopause conversation — and the response he's had from men his own age (spoiler: most know nothing about it) Links & Resources Alexander Clementine website: alexanderclementine.com Instagram: @alexanderclementine (search Alexander Clementine) Check out my earlier conversation with Jo and Rob, authors of Burning Up, Frozen Out — a book aimed at men with frameworks for having menopause conversations: https://www.thetripleshift.org/podcast/burning-up-frozen-out    Note: Alex kindly gifted me a sample crop bra to try ahead of recording — there's no paid sponsorship, and as regular listeners know, I rarely talk about products on the podcast unless I've used them myself. To find out more about ways to work with me please check out www.thetripleshift.org/starthere You'll find me on Substack too https://middlingalong.substack.com/

Retirement was introduced in the UK in 1948, when life expectancy was 66. It was designed to support people for about a year. So why are we still treating 65 as the cliff edge — and accepting a model that funnels women out of the workforce just as their crystallised intelligence peaks? This week I'm joined by Lucy Standing, founder of Brave Starts, co-author of Age Against the Machine: New Rules for Working in an Ageist World, Telegraph careers columnist, and contributor to OECD policy on older workers. Lucy is sharp, evidence-led, and refreshingly impatient with the way the labour market wastes people in their 50s and 60s. We talk about: Why retirement as we know it is a 1940s solution being applied to a problem that no longer exists The difference between fluid intelligence (peaks at 19) and crystallised intelligence (peaks in your late 40s and 50s) — and why most hiring still measures the wrong one The OECD-backed Generation study where 89% of older hires performed at or above expectations, against hiring managers' predictions Why "I want to do something more purposeful" is the dominant driver for workers over 50 — and money ranks sixth Why the jobs board model is broken if you're trying to pivot, and what to do instead (hint: stop hitting "easy apply") The would-be hotelier who almost spent his life savings on a Lake District boutique — and the two days that saved him Why we'll happily pay £30k for a degree but balk at paying for two days of practical experience in the field we're considering The 82-year-old woman whose letter changed how Lucy thinks about loneliness, work, and contribution If you've ever felt invisible in the job market after 50, been told you're "overqualified," or watched a brilliant friend get screened out by an applicant tracking system, this one's for you. Links: Age Against the Machine: New Rules for Working in an Ageist World — by Lucy Standing, Maggie Evans and Martin Hyde, out now in paperback [https://www.waterstones.com/book/age-against-the-machine/lucy-standing/martin-hyde/9783111706894] Brave Starts: bravestarts.com   Lucy on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucystanding/ You can find me, and the full podcast archive over at www.thetripleshift.org/starthere Don't forget to subscribe to my Substack too: https://middlingalong.substack.com/

This time I’m joined by Joe Warner and Rob Kemp, authors of the new book Burning Up, Frozen Out: What Every Man Needs to Know About the Menopause (But No One Told You) – written specifically to help men understand and support their partners through perimenopause and menopause. Joe and Rob share why they wrote the book, the communication tools that can transform midlife relationships, why men don’t need to “fix” anything, and how a little knowledge goes a very long way. Joe Warner is an award-winning journalist and bestselling author, and former editorial director of Men’s Fitness magazine. He has spent more than two decades working across print, digital and broadcast media, writing extensively about men’s and women’s health, fitness and wellbeing. Rob Kemp is a freelance journalist and author of seven non-fiction books, including the Amazon-bestselling The Expectant Dad’s Survival Guide, The New Dad’s Survival Guide and The Good Guys: 50 Heroes Who Changed the World with Kindness. He has written about men’s health, parenting and sports for more than 30 years. What We Talked About Why Joe and Rob wrote Burning Up, Frozen Out The parallels Rob noticed between supporting a partner through pregnancy and supporting a partner through perimenopause Why men often default to “fixer” mode – and the relief that comes from learning they don’t have to fix anything Moving from a solutions mindset to a support mindset The “midlife logistics company” problem: how couples stop talking to each other and start just managing schedules The Midlife MOT – a weekly check-in tool for couples to score how they’re feeling physically and mentally, and use it as a springboard for conversation The Traffic Light List – a green/amber/red exercise to uncover what your partner loves, tolerates and can’t stand (including in the bedroom) Active listening vs jumping into solutions: “Do you want help, a hug, or to be heard?” How men can be the “Sherlock Holmes” who spots perimenopause symptoms before their partner does The disconnect around sex and intimacy in midlife: why men often seek connection through sex, while women need connection before sex Spontaneous vs responsive desire, and the idea of the “sizzle” – giving intimacy time to build Lowered tolerance in perimenopause: why “she’s changed” is the wrong framing Being a co-advocate at GP appointments and the chapter on “Dealing with the Doctor” Rob’s biggest surprise: how poorly the medical profession has served women presenting with menopause symptoms Joe’s biggest surprise: how empowered he felt once he had the knowledge to actually help   Key Takeaways You don’t have to fix it. Shifting from a solutions mindset to a support mindset is the single most powerful change a man can make. A little education goes a long way. Understanding what’s actually happening hormonally helps men take symptoms seriously, respond with empathy, and spot what’s going on – sometimes before their partner does. Communication is a skill, not a talent. It needs practice, just like anything else. The book provides a menu of practical tools and phrases you can pick and choose from. Make time sacred. A weekly coffee, a walk, a Midlife MOT check-in – carving out regular, low-pressure time to talk is the single habit that every expert Jo and Rob spoke to swore by. You’re not alone. Isolation makes everything harder. This is something couples go through together, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.   “Once they read in the book that their job isn’t to fix anything, you can almost see the weight of the world lift off their shoulders.” – Joe Warner “All I said to her was, can I make you a cup of tea? That’s all I had.” – Rob Kemp Links & Resources Burning Up, Frozen Out: https://www.johnmurraypress.co.uk/titles/joe-warner/burning-up-frozen-out/9781399826655/ com – includes a free download of Chapter 4 (on men and the midlife crisis) and the Midlife MOT tool Also mentioned: Listen by Dr Kathryn Mannix; Rebel Bodies by Sarah Graham   If you think your partner could benefit from this conversation, send them a link to this episode and to the book. And if you’ve read Burning Up, Frozen Out, Joe and Rob would love to hear from you – get in touch via burningupfrozenout.com. If you'd like to find out more about my work, or how to work with me, please visit www.thetripleshift.org/starthere

“For most of our lives, women have been told that if we look a certain way and behave a certain way, the world will unfold for us. Only to reach midlife and find that, for most of us, it isn’t true, and the booby prize is that apparently we now have to spend yet more time and money obsessing about how to claw our way back to a place of acceptance that never existed.”   In this episode I speak to Poorna Bell — award-winning journalist, author, and former UK executive editor for HuffPost — to talk about her new book She Wanted More, the cultural shift happening among women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, and why the conversation around midlife needs to change. Poorna describes the atmosphere before her 40th birthday as apocalyptic, with friends talking about it like the end of the world, and society treating 40 as a cliff edge. Surprisingly, to her, the world didn't end. In fact, things got better. Over the five years since, she's watched her life move on an upwards trajectory, something society never told her was possible. She Wanted More is her response to that gap between what women are told about midlife and what actually happens when you're in it. Poorna noticed women all around her in their 40s, 50s, and 60s making fundamentally different choices than previous generations. Whether that was questioning relationships, redefining career success, opting out of motherhood, or choosing to remain single after divorce. The traditional markers of success (money, power, nuclear family structures) are being interrogated. Women are asking: What do I actually want? What is purpose for me? This isn't a book prescribing one way to live. It's about creating agency — doing an inventory of your life and asking yourself: What do I need to feel power and intention in my own life? Poorna advocates for reclaiming the word ‘climacteric’ because it better captures the magnitude of what's happening in the menopause transition. It sounds dramatic because it is dramatic. She describes her own symptoms as "giant stingrays carrying dread, despair, and fear" — a visceral image that will resonate with anyone who's experienced perimenopausal anxiety and that pervasive sense of doom. Poorna surveyed around 1,000 women for the book, and one surprising finding was the fear younger women now have about perimenopause. Media coverage has skewed heavily negative, and many women in their 20s and 30s are genuinely terrified. Poorna's response? We need balance. Yes, some women have brutal experiences. But many don't. The goal isn't to sugarcoat it or pretend it's all wonderful, but to give women the full picture so they can prepare without catastrophizing. Poorna quotes Ashley Kelch in the book: "The most disruptive act in midlife isn't leaving your job or your relationship. It's leaving behind the version of yourself that you created in order to survive." For Poorna, that meant shedding the version of herself that was palatable, agreeable, and constantly performing. She describes younger Poorna as someone who would say yes to everything, who prioritized being liked over being authentic. Midlife gave her permission to stop. She's learned to listen to her body's signals, to say no without guilt, to recognize when she simply doesn't have the spoons for something, and to honour that without shame. The global anti-aging market is set to be worth $80 billion in four years. Poorna calls it "the same shit, repackaged" — a relentless marketing machine selling women the idea that looking young is the only way to remain valuable. And yet, when she asked the women she surveyed what getting older meant to them, not one mentioned looks. They talked about freedom, contentment, peacefulness, having options. So how do we opt out of this pressure? Poorna's advice: stop engaging with the narratives that don't serve you. Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate. Surround yourself with images and stories of women who are thriving in midlife on their own terms. Representation matters — and we have more control over our media diet than we think. One of the most moving parts of the book is Poorna's conversation with her own mother about her early life before becoming a mother. Her mother had a place at university. Everything was paid for. But her grandfather wouldn't let her go because it would have meant living with a family he didn't approve of. Later, when her mother's employer suggested she take auditor exams, her father dismissed it: "You're going back to India to get married soon, so there's no point." Listening to her mother recount this, Poorna felt rage. She could see the brightness, the potential, the intelligence — and the loss of what could have been. That conversation made Poorna softer and more compassionate with her mother. She now asks anyone whose mother is still around: have that conversation. Ask about their life before you were on the scene. Their answers won't be defensive because they're not connected to you as a person — they're just telling you their story. It's precious. Key Takeaways: Midlife isn't a cliff edge. Society lies. Your 40s, 50s, and 60s can be an upwards trajectory if you let them be. Question the definitions of success you've inherited. Money and power aren't the only measures. What does success mean to you? Let go of the version of yourself you created to survive. Midlife is permission to stop performing and start being. Listen to your body's signals. If you don't have the spoons, you don't have the spoons. Honour that. Opt out of anti-aging narratives that don't serve you. Curate your media diet. Surround yourself with images of women thriving in midlife. Talk to your mother about her early life. If she's still around and you have a relationship with her, ask about who she was before you existed. You'll learn something profound.   Instagram, Threads, and TikTok: @poornabell She Wanted More https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/she-wanted-more-reimagine-your-future-and-live-by-your-rules-poorna-bell/2eea99431a408200?ean=9781785122835&next=t&next=t&affiliate=11357  Also check out her previous book Stronger — pairs beautifully with this one Ways to work & connect with me: Coaching 1-1 http://www.thetripleshift.org   Menopause in the workplace support at www.managingthemenopause.com  Subscribe to my newsletter at https://middlingalong.substack.com/   Connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/

Ever asked yourself… Am I too sensitive? Too ambitious? Too angry? Too loud? Too quiet? Too complicated to be loved as I am? Too much? Not enough? In this episode, I sit down with Sophie Jane Lee, journalist, author of Beyond Palatable: A Manifesto for Unapologetic Women, and founder of Electric Peach, to talk about what it really means to stop performing, start listening to yourself, and reclaim your right to take up space. Sophie names the cultural trap that's crushing our generation of women: we were promised we could have it all, but what we actually got was the expectation to do it all… badass boss at work, doting mother at the school gates, generous keeper of family birthdays, the woman who never stops and never sits still. Meanwhile, the unpaid emotional labour hasn't shifted. We're performing strength and independence while internalising our exhaustion as personal failure, when it's actually systemic oppression dressed up as empowerment. This quote from Sophie in the book pretty much sums up much of how I feel on the daily: “We need to stop saying women can have it all. We don’t want it all. We want someone else to take some of the burden and give us a f*****g break.” Sophie chose the word palatable deliberately. Unlikability is about the impact you have on others: it's reactive, aggressive, and still shaped by external expectations. Palatability is about the energy you carry within yourself. It's the constant self-constricting, the dulling down, the fitting into outdated moulds. Moving beyond palatable doesn't mean you have to burn your bra at dawn or become brash and confrontational. It can be quiet, considered, spacious. It's about taking up space in your way, on your terms.   Sophie reframes people-pleasing not as a personal weakness to "recover" from, but as a nervous system response (the fawn response to feeling unsafe). Demonising yourself for a survival mechanism you learned as a child is the opposite of self-care. The goal isn't to become unlikable or stop caring about others. It's to stop abandoning yourself in the process. Forget "if it's not a f**k yes, it's a f**k no." Sophie offers something far more grounded: tune into your body's wisdom. When your shoulders hunch, your stomach roils, your chest tightens? That's your nervous system telling you something. Not every social anxiety means you should shut yourself away, but constantly putting yourself into dysregulation because you're overriding your body's signals is unsustainable. Learn to pause. Check in. Ask yourself: Do I really want to do this? Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes it's "I'll do this, but I'll resource myself first." What will you learn from the book? Your innate worth is not negotiable. Your right to experience joy is real. The more you abandon your own needs, ignore your body, override your internal navigation system, the more you disconnect from joy, from yourself, from others. Sophie wants to start a revolution of unapologetic women who shine their light in their own unique way. Not because it's radical or rebellious, but because happy people aren't mean. When we self-resource, when we allow ourselves our fullest expression, we rise together. How to Become More Unapologetic in Your Own Life: Notice the performance. Where are you performing the role of "good girl," "perfect mother," "always-on professional"? What's the cost to your nervous system? Stop demonising your people-pleasing. It's not a flaw. It's a response to feeling unsafe. Treat it with compassion, not shame. Listen to your body's signals. Your body knows before your brain catches up. Learn to recognise the embodied no. You don't have to override it every time, you get to choose. Practice nervous system regulation. Breathe out longer than you breathe in. Pause before responding. Resource yourself before you walk into situations that dysregulate you. Cultivate self-worth as a lifelong practice. Believe you have as much right to a part of the pie as anyone else. Stop leaving nothing for yourself. Take up space in your own way. You don't have to be loud or bold. Unapologetic can be quiet. Unapologetic can be considered. It just has to be true to you. Remember: your healing makes way for others. When you stop abandoning yourself, you give other women permission to do the same. We rise together. This is for those who’ve shrunk themselves to fit in. For our younger selves. And for the girls growing up in a world of filters, pressure, and impossible standards. Find out more about Sophie, her work, and the book at:  https://beyondpalatable.com/  (includes resources and workbook materials) Join the Unapologetic Voices Marathon event on 2nd March here; https://electric-peach.kit.com/d19d48107c (free)  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophieturton/  Instagram: @electricpeachstudios Find out more about Emma, her coaching, and how to work with her at www.thetripleshift.org/starthere

“What we call a risk is often just hanging on to a reality that may no longer be true.” In this episode I chat with Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, a global expert on 21st-century leadership, gender and generational balance, longevity, and the future of work. We explore the Four Quarter Lives framework (Q1 Grow, Q2 Achieving, Q3 Becoming, Q4 Harvesting), why lifespans are getting longer, and what that means for individuals, teams, and organizations. Our conversation covers practical changes for workplaces, the reframing of aging beyond decline, how to approach risk in midlife, and how to design careers and communities for longer, more purposeful lives. The episode includes guidance on leadership strategy, intergenerational collaboration, and personal planning for a longer horizon. Key takeaways - The Four Quarter Lives framework reframes a 100-year life into four 25-year phases: Grow (Q1), Achieving (Q2), Becoming (Q3), Harvesting (Q4). This helps individuals and organizations plan for longer, more varied careers. - Achieving (Q2) is not the endpoint; Q3 is a peak period for meaningful work, mentorship, and legacy-building, especially for women who have faced traditional juggling pressures. - Q4 is not decline; it’s a time for legacy, contribution, and intergenerational engagement. As lifespans extend, many will shift toward continued purpose, learning, and mentoring. - Ageism and DEI shouldn’t be the starting frame for addressing aging in organizations. Instead, demographics should be integrated into strategic planning at the executive level to influence talent, markets, and long-term resilience. - Midlife is a critical transition - often mischaracterized as a crisis. A proactive “midlife rethink” helps people plan for a longer horizon and avoid stagnation. - Intergenerational connections are valuable. Practical ideas like Generations Over Dinner can foster mutual understanding and collaboration across age groups. - The conversation emphasizes resilience and opportunity: risk should be reframed as choosing growth over clinging to a status quo that no longer aligns with longer, healthier lifespans.   Resources and links mentioned - Four Quarter Lives podcast: https://www.avivahwittenbergcox.com/podcasts/4-quarter-lives  - Elderberries Substack: https://elderberries.substack.com/  - 20 First: https://20-first.com/  - Generations Over Dinner: https://www.generationsoverdinner.com/  — a practical way to connect different age groups - The Correspondent by Virginia Evans: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/the-correspondent-virginia-evans/7732977    Who should listen - Midcareer professionals (especially those in their 40s–60s) planning for longer, more varied career lives - Leaders and HR/talent professionals shaping long-term workforce strategy and age-inclusive growth - Anyone interested in reframing aging, intergenerational collaboration, and longevity as a positive opportunity   If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. You can also find me at www.thetripleshift.org / www.managingthemenpause.com  connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/  follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/ or subscribe to my Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/

It's just over 5 years since I started strength training in the 'Twixmas' of 2020, so it feels very timely to be bringing you this interview with Kate Oakley at the start of a new year... Kate is the founder of Your Future Fit, has always loved fitness and training - but for years it was something she squeezed in around a demanding corporate career and family life. Then, during lockdown and shortly after turning 50, she decided it was time for change. After a 25-year career in HR, she retrained as a Personal Trainer, wanting a role that made her jump out of bed in the mornings and truly embrace midlife.  Kate knew exactly who she wanted to help: peri- and post-menopausal women navigating the same challenges she’d faced herself. Her goal is to help women not just get through this stage of life, but thrive – despite the challenges. In 2025 Kate launched her own strength-training app, Lift for Life, designed for women over 40 who want to build muscle, support bone health, and future-proof their bodies while feeling their best right now but for whom 1-1 personal training isn’t accessible. She also shares plenty of clear, practical fitness advice and midlife wellbeing insights with her engaged community on Instagram, helping women everywhere discover that it’s never too late to get strong. Key themes and takeaways Why strength training matters in midlife Strength training supports bone density, joint health, posture, daily activities, and overall well-being. There’s a strong mental health component: increased resilience and a greater sense of control during a period when life can feel unpredictable. The goal is long-term health and a future you’ll thank yourself for, not a quick fix. Starting small and making it doable Begin with short, manageable workouts—10 minutes is a practical starting point. Home-based training reduces intimidation and makes consistency more feasible. Minimal equipment needed: a mat and a pair of dumbbells (plus space at home). How to structure an early program Focus on slow, controlled movements and proper technique to prevent injuries. Prioritize progressive overload over time: gradually increase weight or the load of exercises as you get stronger. Understand that progress may be gradual; even small improvements accumulate over weeks and months. The benefits of time-boxed, consistent practice Short, regular sessions are more sustainable than sporadic longer workouts. A consistent routine helps compound benefits in daily life and mood. Addressing gym anxiety and accessibility Training at home eliminates common barriers (gym intimidation, schedule constraints, travel time). Most people don’t need fancy equipment; the right program and technique matter more than gear. Lift for Life: what it offers Foundations: a 20–30 minute, three-workout-per-week program centered on technique and safe, slow movements. Momentum: an advanced stage for those ready to progress beyond Foundations. Progressive programming and accountability: workouts are purposefully programmed (not random) to ensure progressive overload over time. Monthly intake with community support: a welcoming, non-pressured culture that emphasizes kindness to oneself and sustainable habit formation. Minimal equipment and home-friendly structure: designed to be easy to join and fit into busy midlife lives. Emphasis on community: accountability and social motivation help people show up consistently. Mindset and sustainability The approach encourages treating workouts like brushing teeth: non-negotiable, integrated into weekly life. If motivation wanes, use strategies like committing to 10 minutes and allowing yourself to stop if you truly need to, then continue if you feel up to it. Self-talk matters: replace harsh internal narratives with supportive, encouraging language. Practical tips Kate shares for beginners Start with 10-minute workouts at home, using a mat and light dumbbells. Schedule workouts in your diary (e.g., Monday, Wednesday, Saturday) and aim for consistency, with flexibility when life gets busy. Focus on technique first; quality over quantity prevents injury and builds a solid foundation. Don’t compare yourself to others in classes or on social media—focus on your own pace and progress. Build gradually: as strength and confidence grow, you can extend workouts to 20–30 minutes and increase resistance. Long-term benefits and “health pension” The cumulative effect of regular strength work improves bone health, posture, energy, and daily functioning. Prioritizing midlife strength training sets up better health outcomes for later decades, including easier mobility and better quality of life.   Resources mentioned If you’re listening and considering a move toward stronger midlife fitness, Lift for Life offers a structured, approachable path with a focus on safety, consistency, and long-term health.   Ongoing Discount Offer - for Middling Along listeners Kate has kindly offered you access to Life for Life for £49 per month for as long as you stay (usually £59 per month).  The next intake starts on 12th January 2026 (and there are monthly intakes if now is not the right time for you!) https://kate-oakley.boonpage.com/lift-for-life?promo_code=save10pp https://www.yourfuturefit.com   https://www.instagram.com/yourfuturefit If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. Ways to work with me: Coaching with me at http://www.thetripleshift.org   Menopause in the workplace support at www.managingthemenopause.com  And don’t forget to: Subscribe to my newsletter at https://middlingalong.substack.com/   Check our over 100 podcast episodes in the archive at www.middlingalong.com Connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/   Follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/

In this episode, I speak with Dr Anna Colton, a clinical psychologist who specialises in adolescence and eating disorders. We explore the rise of eating disorders, the impact of the pandemic, and how social media and diet culture shape young people’s relationship with food and their bodies. The conversation offers practical, compassionate guidance for parents and caregivers on talking with children and teens about nutrition, body image, and healthy eating patterns. Anna is the author of How to Talk to Children About Food, and shares actionable strategies for conversations at home, signs to watch for, and when to seek professional help.   Key takeaways - Eating disorders are increasing, with the pandemic cited as a major contributing factor. Social and cultural pressures around weight have intensified with the introduction of weight-loss medications and pervasive diet messaging on social media. A large portion of nutrition guidance consumed by young people comes from platforms like Instagram and TikTok, where most content is not accurate. - Adolescence involves two key developmental tasks: separation from caregivers and individuation (forming a sense of self). COVID-era restrictions disrupted these processes, which, alongside heightened emotions and risk messaging, created an opportunity for disordered eating to flourish. - Language matters when talking about food. Be specific and neutral rather than labeling foods as “healthy” or “unhealthy.” Avoid fear-based or punitive messaging (e.g., “that will make you fat”). Emphasize balance, variety, and the overall pattern of the diet rather than single meals. - Create a healthy home food environment. Allow for a range of foods at home, avoid using food as a reward or punishment, and be cautious about restricting foods. This supports self-regulation and reduces the likelihood of binge-eating cycles driven by deprivation. - Focus on body function and acceptance, not appearance. There are billions of unique bodies, and variation is normal. Encourage body acceptance and appreciation for what the body does (movement, health, energy) rather than how it looks. It’s realistic to acknowledge that not everyone feels positive about their body every day. - Support for puberty and body changes. Hormonal fluctuations and evolving bodies during adolescence can be unsettling. Discuss differences in energy needs, portions, and activity levels openly, and acknowledge that it’s normal for bodies to change at different rates. - Handling trends with curiosity. Teens may be drawn to gym culture and protein supplements. It’s useful to explore the evidence together, rather than dismissing interest. Encourage evidence-based choices and avoid pressuring or shaming. - Early signs of potential eating disorders. Watch for significant changes in eating patterns (skipping meals, cutting out whole food groups), increased anxiety around meals, extreme weight changes, and irregular periods in girls. If you notice these signs, approach with curiosity and seek help promptly. - Initial steps if you’re concerned. Start with careful observation over a short period, then have a non-judgmental conversation. If concerns persist, consult a GP for baseline checks (weight, height, bloods) and consider seeing a psychologist or ED specialist. Early intervention is preferable to waiting for illness to become severe. - Treatment principles and parental roles. In anorexia, parents may need to support structured eating as part of recovery. In binge patterns, reducing restriction helps, since hunger drives cravings. Special situations like ARFID require expert assessment and tailored exposure-based strategies. The NHS and ED services are under-resourced, so timely engagement with healthcare providers is crucial. - When to seek specialist help. If concerns persist, especially with weight changes, food avoidance, or distress around eating, connect with a healthcare professional early. A qualified psychologist or dietitian with ED experience can offer targeted guidance and support.   Resources    Anna Colton’s book How to Talk to Children About Food is a practical primer for parents.  You can follow her on https://www.instagram.com/drannacolton  search for The Food Psychologist on TikTok and her LinkedIn is https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-anna-colton-79975521/  for evidence-based insights and ongoing discussions about eating, weight, and body image. If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. You can also find me at http://www.thetripleshift.org   connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/   follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/  or subscribe to my Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/

In this episode - which is on a topic very dear to my heart - I chat with Dr Sabina Brennan – health psychologist, neuroscientist, host of the Super Brain podcast, author of Still Me, Beating Brain Fog, and 100 Days to a Younger Brain – about shifting dementia care from a disease-centered approach to a person-centred partnership.   We discuss the idea of a ‘care partner’ rather than ‘carer’ and practical strategies for maintaining brain health across midlife and into older age. We dive into cognitive reserve, modifiable dementia risk factors, and how to support both the person with dementia and those caring for them, with an emphasis on curiosity, autonomy, and joy.   Key topics      - Sabina’s new book Still Me blends professional knowledge with personal experience caring for her own mother with dementia.   - The shift from “carer” to “care partner” to support autonomy and reduce paternalism.   - The importance of allowing people with dementia to participate in decisions that affect their day-to-day life.   - The risk of disempowerment when we do tasks for the person rather than with them.   - Understanding different dementia trajectories and the role of family in decision making.   - Cognitive reserve and how engaging the brain can delay symptom onset (reserves of brain function can delay symptoms even with pathology present).   - The 14 modifiable risk factors (including obesity, smoking, hearing loss, social isolation, depression) and how lifestyle changes help brain health.   - The brain–heart health link: heart health, diet, exercise, and the risk of cognitive decline.   - The value of social engagement and mentally stimulating activities for a healthy brain.   - The problematic role of isolation and the importance of meaningful social connections.   - Don’t force diagnoses on someone who isn’t ready; plan for the future with nuance and care.   - Encouraging curiosity about the person’s experiences and responses.   - Advice for those newly diagnosed, including gradual acceptance, planning, finances, and power of attorney. Plus, the really lovely idea of creating a notebook of preferences to honour the person’s likes and dislikes whilst they still have agency. Sabina’s website: sabinabrennan.ie  Books:   - Still Me    - Beating Brain Fog   - 100 Days to a Younger Brain Podcast: Super Brain: https://sabinabrennan.ie/super-brain-podcast/    If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. You can also find me at www.thetripleshift.org / www.managingthemenpause.com  connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/  follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/ or subscribe to my Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/

In this episode I chat with Hannah Miller about how a midlife pivot can become a powerful reorientation toward purpose. Hannah is the founder of Sidekick and creator of The Purpose Pursuit™ course and book. An award-winning speaker, author, podcast host, and accredited coach, she helps people and organisations uncover strengths, navigate change, and pursue purpose. With a background in teaching and business, Hannah combines practical insight with a personal approach to leadership and self-development. Join us as we unpack Hannah’s journey from teaching to running her own business, the strengths-based framework at the heart of The Purpose Pursuit, and practical tools like the seven personality types and the walk–talk values framework. We explore how the pandemic sparked a digital pivot, the importance of boundaries to avoid burnout, and how small, incremental shifts can steer life toward greater alignment.    What You’ll Learn - How to pivot gracefully: with lessons about not needing a master plan and being open to opportunity. - The core of Hannah’s approach: a strengths-based lens that helps people understand what energizes them and how to use those strengths effectively. - The seven strengths-based types: Achiever, Thinker, Connector, Impactor, Believer, Explorer (and how your top three types shape your approach to work and life). - Hannah’s walk–talk values framework: a practical way to assess whether your values are aligned with your actions  - How burnout can be tied to overusing strengths: recognizing overdrive and building boundaries to protect energy. - The role of small, consistent shifts: tiny daily changes compound over time and move you toward your desired destination. - Practical, reader-friendly tools: exercises and a roadmap in The Purpose Pursuit to coach yourself—and even help others—through transition moments.   Practical Takeaways - Start with your top three strengths and carry them through your daily decisions and projects. - Choose up to five core values and use the walk–talk axis to assess how well you live them out. - Embrace small, consistent changes; they compound into meaningful life shifts over time. Resources and Links The Purpose Pursuit by Hannah Miller https://dk.com/products/9780241756331-the-purpose-pursuit  The book hits bookshops on December 4; pre-orders are open now Hannah’s Website: hellosidekick.co @hellohannahmiller on Instagram   If you enjoy the podcast please help us grow by sharing this episode, or writing a review. You can also find me at www.thetripleshift.org / www.managingthemenpause.com / www.holdingupthesky.com  connect with me at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmacthomas/  follow along on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/middlingalong_podcast/ or subscribe to my Substack at https://middlingalong.substack.com/