
Advertise on podcast: True Crimes Against Wine
Rating
4.9from
This podcast has
282 episodes
Language
EnglishExplicit
Yes
Date created
2021/03/10
Latest episode
2026/10/12
Average duration
47 min.
Release period
7 days
Description
Celebrities can be talented, sure, but should they really be making wine? Join Judges Topher and Rachel as they use their oenological savvy and pop culture deep cuts to answer that very question. After drinking all the evidence and sorting their way through red herrings, they will determine whether some of Hollywood and music's biggest stars are, in fact, guilty of True Crimes Against Wine.
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Check latest episodes from True Crimes Against Wine podcast
Sidebar Ep. 146: Sydney Sweeney’s Shockingly Salacious Sports Ad — Too Far or Just Marketing?
2026/10/12
Join us for a candid, no-filter breakdown of the recent Sydney Sweeney ad for a sports betting app — the one everyone's talking about. We dig into the ad’s over-the-top sexualization (yes, it looks like porn), the predatory nature of online sports gambling, and the hypocrisy of moral posturing from conservative corners. We also talk about how celebrities profit from male-gaze-focused branding, why this kind of content is alarming when it airs during family TV viewing, and the broader advertising culture that allows it to exist. It’s part critique, part bafflement, and a whole lot of "did that just happen?" Tune in as we vent, joke, and try to make sense of this rancid dumpster fire together.
CASE 0603: I See Empty Bottles
2026/10/05
DEFENDANT: M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense
EVIDENCE: Michael David Winery 6th Sense Syrah
SCENE OF THE CRIME: Lodi, CA
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Hey friend — pour yourself a glass and settle in. This episode of True Crimes Against Wine pairs a bold California Syrah called Sixth Sense with M. Night Shyamalan's classic twist-filled film, The Sixth Sense. We chat about the Michael David Joint Winery (the creative minds behind Freakshow), their Lodi sustainability rules, the wine’s ripe-plum, chocolate-cherry flavors, and that sneaky 15.5% alcohol that keeps things interesting. Then we dive into movie talk: wigs, red color cues, Toni Collette’s heartbreaking performance, Haley Joel Osment’s unforgettable presence, and how the film still holds up as more drama than horror. We trade ghost stories, dream up spooky-season outfits, debate whether ghosts are real or just our imaginations, and spill some ridiculous ideas — like a Sixth Sense musical and a Jane Austen crossover. Spoilers abound, vibes are cozy (even if it’s 96 degrees outside), and we get hilariously sidetracked by Halloween decor, husband behavior, and what kind of ghost we’d want to be. Come for the wine notes, stay for the grief, humor, and the endearing feel-good chills. Cheers!
Sidebar Ep. 145: When Heat Steals the Harvest: Wine's Wild Growing Season
2026/09/28
Hey — if you love wine (or just enjoy weather drama), this episode dives into how this summer's brutal heatwave upended vineyards around the globe.
Short version: grapes ripened insanely fast. In places like Napa and Sonoma harvests wrapped in late August instead of October — some vines barely had a normal growing season because bud break happened late and then, boom, two months to harvest. That usually means riper fruit, higher sugars and alcohol, and a punchier, more "fruit bomb" style instead of subtle, old‑world finesse.
Different regions will feel it differently: cooler spots like Willamette Valley, Burgundy or the Loire could be facing unfamiliar challenges, while winemakers in hotter regions (hello, parts of Australia) might have tips worth sharing. And don’t forget the southern hemisphere — their spring is just starting, so timing shifts there could ripple through next year’s bottles.
The big worries: flavor shifts we might not fully understand for years; the staggering cost for small wineries if they have to relocate or replant; and an industry pushed toward quicker-turnover grapes, irrigation and climate-control tech, or even new stylistic directions.
There’s a silver lining — this could spark more global collaboration and creative adaptation across the wine world — but it’s also anxiety‑inducing for anyone who cares about the craft. If you work at a vineyard and want to share what you’re seeing, send us the inside scoop at [email protected] or find us on Instagram. We’ll send swag. Cheers.
CASE 0602: A Classic Unboxing
2026/09/21
DEFENDANT: Alexander Dumas
EVIDENCE: Medley Rosé
SCENE OF THE CRIME: Languedoc, France
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Hey — we’re starting Season 6 with boxed rosé, bad accents, and a whole lot of literary chaos. Join Judge Topher (beverage boss) and Judge Rachel (pop-culture prosecutor) as they unbox Medley’s Languedoc rosé, gush over the pool-friendly packaging, debate whether boxed wine counts as classy, and taste notes of apple, pear, and a cheeky finish of strawberry. Spoiler: it’s an easy, drinkable crowd-pleaser and perfect for pool days and boat trips.
Then we stumble through The Count of Monte Cristo — from Edmond Dantès’s naive beginnings and prison metamorphosis to a pirate-fueled treasure haul and one very dramatic revenge tour. There are detours into Napoleon-era politics, serialized 19th-century publishing, Henry Cavill’s youthful cameo, and too many accent attempts to count. Expect goofy banter, surprising historical tidbits (Dumas’ family history is wild), and a lot of laughs — plus a trivia quiz that goes off the rails in the best way.
Whether you love wine talk, classic revenge tales, or just want a podcast that feels like two friends riffing over a bottle, this episode’s your vibe. Pop a cork (or pull a bag tab), get comfy, and come for the rosé, stay for the drama.
People's Court Ep. 14: Funeral Crashers & Online Witch Hunts
2026/09/14
Hey friend — this episode is a wild, messy ride through gossip, revenge, and the limits of grieving. We dig into a story about a daughter who publicly outed her best friend for alleged cheating, only to learn she was wrong and ended up destroying her friend’s life — and possibly contributing to her early death. The moms weigh in, judgments fly, and the question becomes: does someone who caused that much pain still have the right to mourn?
Think of this like a late-night chat with your nosy pals: we unpack motives (jealousy vs. trauma), community judgment, and whether warning the grieving family is the right move. Expect equal parts hilarity, righteous anger, and uncomfortable honesty as we decide who’s in the wrong and whether an apology—or an escort out of the funeral—would even matter.
Grab your wine and brace yourself for some deliciously petty takes, heartfelt calls for accountability, and the kind of gossip that makes you squirm and shout at the same time. We’d honestly love to hear from Trina Tinsley if she’s listening… but maybe not at the funeral.
CASE 0601: Who Says You Can't Go Home?
2026/09/07
DEFENDANT: The Odyssey
EVIDENCE: "Odyssey" Miner Family Winery Red Blend 2021
SCENE OF THE CRIME: Napa, CA
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Hey friend — welcome to our Season 6 kickoff of True Crimes Against Wine! We popped a slightly fancier Napa GSM, uncorked some ancient Greek drama, and laughed (and cried a little) our way through Polyphemus, Calypso, and the many questionable choices of Odysseus. We took this bottle on a little detective walk-through — sniffing eucalyptus, tasting red plums, and decoding why the wine felt lighter than expected. It’s a celebration-splurge kind of pour: balanced, food-friendly, and surprisingly low-ABV for a Napa blend.
We also dove into Christopher Nolan’s new Odyssey film — casting surprises, scene highlights (hello sirens and practical effects), and the ways the movie leans into war trauma more than the racy bits of the original epic. Plus, a rapid-fire Greek-or-not quiz that may have gotten a little too competitive, lots of gossip about wishbone and pop culture, and of course, a plea for listeners to Venmo us so we can go sample vineyards in person.
This episode is cozy, honest, and full of nerdy joy — think wine notes, mythological tangents, and big feelings about dogs, hubris, and how language evolves. Pour yourself something special and join us for the ride — we’re loud, affectionate, and absolutely here for season six.
People's Court Ep. 13: Meat Raffle Mayhem: Were We Wrong to Suspect a Fix?
2026/08/31
Hey friend — dive into this wild episode where we unpack a meat raffle that smelled fishier than the prize cooler. We narrate an animated tale of suspicious organizers, awkward confrontations, and the kind of midwestern bar drama you didn’t know you needed. From people in charge winning prizes to an MC calling out their own victory, we react, joke, and pass judgement (literally) as things escalate to glares and a hasty exit. Whether you love a good steak or just crave juicy gossip, we keep it casual, hilarious, and oddly heartwarming as we debate etiquette, ethics, and the golden rule of raffles: if you run it, don’t play. Pull up a chair, grab your favorite snack (not the raffle meat), and listen in — we’re calling it: not the a*****e, but the situation deserves a hard side-eye.
Sidebar Ep. 144: We Thought We’d Recorded This — Tori Amos Live Follow‑Up
2026/08/24
Hey — welcome back to the True Crimes Against Wine sidebar. This one’s a little embarrassing (false memories are real) but also delightful: Rachel and Fact Checker finally made it to Tori Amos in Atlanta, and I’m here to spill everything — the good, the ridiculous, and the emotional.
First, quick housekeeping: we both genuinely thought we’d already recorded this, so shoutout to Jamie for reminding us. Also, Rachel owes the producer a giant apology — she really put him through it and even promised to pay for therapy (but only once). True podcast drama, right?
OK, the show: it was amazing. Tori turned 63 (happy birthday, Tori!), and while her voice has deepened a bit with age, her signature sound absolutely shines. She had three backup singers — a new addition for her — and they filled in harmonies and high notes beautifully. The band (drums with cool chimes setup and bass) brought a fuller, more intense energy to songs that felt almost heavy-metal at times.
The set was a lovely mix of new tracks, deep cuts, and classics — Fire to Your Plane, Shush (which hit like a revelation live), Ruby Through the Looking Glass, Precious Things, Taxi Ride, Spring Haze, and of course Cornflake Girl and Big Wheel encores. She even closed with Imagine which brought Fact Checker to tears — I loved that.
The crowd was a whole vibe: diehard fans, moms bringing teens who ended up smiling by the end, and one woman who danced her whole body off in her seat after a few drinks (amusing, not annoying from where we were). And yes, in true concert spirit, someone dared and someone threw a bra on stage — double-dog dared energy intact.
There’s something magical when a group of musicians genuinely enjoy playing together, and you could feel that trust and joy on stage. If you love Tori even a little, go — the tour’s still happening and this was absolutely worth it.
If you want to reach us, email [email protected] or find us on Instagram. And once again, Rachel says sorry to the producer — therapy’s on her, but just this once.
People's Court Ep.12 : I Told My Coworker 'I'm Fat'—Am I the A-hole?
2026/08/17
A non-binary person with GERD keeps their medication in a Tylenol bottle at work. A coworker named Bob accuses them of getting high at work, then calls HR after they respond to his comment with self-deprecating humor, calling themselves "fat." The hosts discuss workplace harassment, the role of HR, documenting incidents, and whether the letter writer was in the wrong. Spoiler: they weren't. The episode turns into a lively chat about ageism, queerphobia, and toxic office culture, complete with hilarious side tangents about cat pageants and imaginary office soap operas.
Sidebar Ep.143: Wine, Wits & Client Dinners: What to Order to Look Effortlessly Competen
2026/08/10
Hey, Renee — and hey friend. If you’ve got a client dinner coming up and don’t want to look out of your depth (but also don’t want to be stiff and boring), this chat has your back. There are two main vibes you can lean into: the quietly sophisticated move or the casually cool cocktail move.
For the low-key, impress-without-trying option, go wine: a Pinot Noir, especially from Willamette Valley or Burgundy, is a safe, classy choice that says you’re worldly and confident without shouting it. Avoid polarizing picks like big Cabs or sweet Rieslings.
If the spot is more modern or has a fun cocktail program, use the menu to your advantage — pick a base spirit you like (tequila, rum, whiskey) and ask the server about a cocktail by name, or ask its flavor profile. That shows thoughtfulness and curiosity without pretending to be an expert.
In old-school or male-dominated settings, ordering a whiskey-forward cocktail, an Old Fashioned, or a specific scotch can be an intentional power move — annoying and unfair that it works, but also effective. Conversely, avoid party drinks (Long Island Iced Tea, shots) unless you’re celebrating and the group is going there.
Martini fans: if you go this route, know the terminology (gin vs. vodka, dry vs. extra dry, stirred vs. shaken, up vs. on the rocks, garnish) so you don’t give away that you’re faking it. If you can, glance at the cocktail list before you sit so you’re not flustered, and don’t be the person who orders first unless you know what you want — mirroring the group and projecting calm confidence will take you far.
Bottom line: it’s less about the exact drink and more about how you order it — poised, informed, and present. Now go close that deal, hold your drink like you know what you’re doing, and hey — if it’s Margaritaville and scooters with cup holders, send pics.
Sidebar Ep.142: Margarita Batch Magic: Poolside Drinks That Actually Work
2026/08/03
Hey friend — if you’re planning a pool day and want to bring something better than boxed rosé (but still chill and easy), this episode’s for you. We’re big fans of low-drama, high-fun batched drinks: think margaritas and mojitos as the MVPs. They’re simple to scale, super tweakable, and they won’t leave you with a sad, flat, sugary mess after a few hours in the sun.
Quick PSA: don’t bring Long Island iced tea to the heat. Also, please don’t do blue m***********s. Learned that the hard way — way too much alcohol with way too much artificial sugar and a color that makes you question life choices. If you’re making something for a group, pick something that stays pleasant in a pitcher.
Real talk on batched cocktails: start simple. Margaritas are the perfect base — tequila, lime, and a touch of agave. Mojitos are great too, just keep the soda separate so it stays fizzy when you serve. For fruit-forward sweetness, use ripe fruit (watermelon, strawberries, peaches) and muddle it in the pitcher for natural flavor instead of dumping in extra sugar. Sugar + sun = rough morning, so let the fruit do the work.
Want to get fancy? Try spicy margaritas with jalapeño, or play with citrus like blood orange or a lemon-lime-orange blend. If you want bubbles, batch the base and top each poured drink with Prosecco or soda — don’t pre-mix the fizz. Also, remember large-batch ratios sometimes need a little tweaking from your single-drink recipe, so taste and adjust before you serve.
Another favorite hack: make a few different lemonades (spicy watermelon lemonade, triple-citrus lemonade, ginger-peach lemonade) and let folks pick their liquor — rum, vodka, tequila, gin — so people can control strength and sweetness. It’s great for guests who don’t drink much; they still get a delicious refresher without the buzz.
Bottom line: keep it fresh, keep it simple, and don’t over-sweeten. If you try one of these batched ideas (or invent your own twist), tell us how it went — we love hearing your variations. Hit us up at [email protected] or on Instagram. We’ll send you some swag if it’s cute enough. Cheers and enjoy the pool!
People's Court Ep.11: Mom Confronts Daughter for Bringing Baby to Homophobic In‑Laws — Drama Explodes
2026/07/27
Hey — this episode is one for the books. A mom finds out her adult daughter has been secretly taking her grandchild to stay with the father’s religious, homophobic family after the dad came out and was disowned. She tells her daughter she’s disgusted, informs the dad, and now custody leniency is gone. Big feelings and bigger consequences all around.
Listen, I get it — there are layers here. The dad was forced into a life he couldn’t sustain and finally came out; his parents reacted terribly. The daughter’s hurt and anger after the breakup are real, but sneaking the child around people who actively disowned their own son? That crosses a line. It’s spiteful, and it puts a kid in the middle of adults’ unresolved drama.
There’s sympathy to go around: for the dad trying to be authentic, for the daughter coping with betrayal, and even for the grandparents who are trapped in their own beliefs (even if they behaved cruelly). But at the end of the day, protecting the child matters most — and telling your grown kid you’re disgusted for enabling hate is hard, brave, and necessary.
No neat endings here — custody is tighter now and relationships are strained — but this is a reminder that adults’ choices have real impact on kids. If you’re on Team Boundaries and Basic Human Decency, this episode will land. If you’re still wrestling with empathy for everyone involved, that’s okay too — it’s complicated, messy, and painfully real.
People's Court Ep. 10: Am I the A-Hole for Calling Out My Wife’s ‘Jokey’ Friend in Front of Everyone?
2026/07/20
Hey — quick catch-up: this episode dives into a husband who’s been the butt of his wife’s friend Megan’s “jokes” for months. Little digs about cooking, fixing things, and asking if he’s sulking turned into a pattern that felt less like teasing and more like deliberate bullying. He usually laughed it off to avoid awkwardness, but when it kept happening at a party, he finally said, “Can you stop? It’s getting annoying being the punchline every time we hang out.”
The room went quiet, Megan got embarrassed and left early, and later a few people scolded him for not pulling her aside. But here’s the thing — if someone is chronically making your partner uncomfortable and your friend group watches it happen, you can’t just expect the target to always tiptoe around the problem. Sometimes boundaries have to be set in the moment.
This conversation gets into who’s actually in the wrong — Megan for the mean comments, the wife and friends for letting it go on, and whether calling someone out publicly is ever justified when the behavior has been ongoing. There’s also a hint of possible flirtation or “negging,” and the classic bully defense: “I’m just joking.”
So what do you think? Would you have pulled her aside privately, or stood up in the moment like he did? Tell me how you’d handle a friend who keeps making your partner the punchline — I want to hear your take.
BREAKING CASE: A Midsummer Human Sacrifice
2026/07/13
DEFENDANT: Midsomar
EVIDENCE: Sun Goddess Pinot Grigio
SCENE OF THE CRIME: A Maypole Near You...
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Hey friend — welcome to our bonus midsummer episode! We kick things off with playful banter about time, podcast firsts, and then dive into the lushly sunlit weirdness of Ari Aster’s Midsommar while sipping Mary J. Blige’s Sun Goddess Pinot Grigio. Expect gossip, gross food talk, and the kind of movie chat that makes you want to rewatch with a notebook.
We nerd out on the Friuli region (hello rose-gold Pinot Grigio color!), savor juicy melon-and-nectarine tasting notes, and praise the wine for being both approachable and surprisingly complex. Then we pivot into the film: Florence Pugh’s Dani, toxic boyfriend Christian, and that creeping daylight dread that makes Midsommar feel like artful folk horror instead of just jump scares.
There’s also a playful Midsommar traditions true/false quiz, heated opinions about who deserves what, and a long, affectionate breakdown of costumes, rituals, and the film’s ambiguous place between indigenous practice and cult. We wrap with whether we’d join a cozy wine-loving cult (spoiler: yes — but only the Nancy Meyers version) and all the micro-joys that make this episode feel like a friend sitting on your patio, passing the bottle and whispering theories.
Sidebar Ep.141: Rosé All Day? Summer Wine Trends You'll Actually Want to Try
2026/07/06
Hey friend — welcome to this episode of True Crimes Against Wine! We spent a little time nerding out about what’s popping in the wine world this summer, and honestly, some of it is super fun and worth keeping an eye out for.
First up: rosé remains everywhere. It’s the easiest glass to recognize and the easiest choice when you want something fresh, fun, and usually dry. Sparkling rosé? Instant party. It’s the mood drink for warm weather and patio hangs — dangerously drinkable in the best way.
Also gaining steam: chillable, crushable reds. Think lighter-bodied reds (not your heavy, tannic Cab) that actually taste great slightly chilled — bright, floral, cranberry-like fruit that’s perfect for a hot patio or a lazy brunch.
And here’s the spicy one: simultaneous-ferment rosés — a real old-school technique where red and white grapes are fermented together. Some winemakers are reviving it, and it’s starting to show up with a trendy nickname — blouge (ugh, right?). You might spot it first at trendy brunch spots and in big-city wine shops. It’s technically a rosé but often sits in that chillable-red vibe.
If you find a favorite pool-season bottle, tell us! Email [email protected] or DM us on Instagram — we love hearing what you’re sipping. Also: we have new swag and a few koozies left; tell us your size if you send something and we’ll try to send one back.
Cheers — can't wait to taste-test some of this stuff with you. Bye!
Podcast reviews
Read True Crimes Against Wine podcast reviews
enormous saytre 601 2024/07/14
❤️❤️❤️
I love Topher and Rachel so much!’❤️❤️
rhea566567 2021/06/18
Four Loko!
This is a fun and unique podcast and I highly recommend it! I just hope the they one day class it up and Topher does a Four Loko episode.
Cheshirecat9 2021/03/25
Best consumed with wine
Topher knows his wine and Rachel knows her celebrities. The hosts have a good rapport and this is a light-hearted hour of fun. Best listened to with a...
Dibby032 2021/03/24
Hilarious & so Witty!
I love this podcast series so much!! It’s so funny and witty! The creators have taken a unique twist on wine tasting. As a novice wine drinker it is ...
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