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They are back, not exactly by demand, more because they have so much too say. In this first proper episode of the Bottom Line Andy and Mark reveal themselves! The hilarity and insults continue across multiple subjects, including this week: roof tents, where Rabbie Burns did a shite, and Fertilizer!

This week we are piloting something new, which may or may not go on to be called The Bottom Line podcast.  Just two mates, both anonymous, chewing the fat, unshackled! Shackles probably are required though, instead of alcohol! Aside from the general bullsh*t, we dissect this year’s Kelso tup sale.  My sidekick coming out with statements such as ‘females are your future, males are your cashflow’ to ‘sheep looks like a f*g paper with a head stuck on it,’ it certainly is not a listen for the faint hearted.

In this episode I chat to forward-thinking Will Laurie about his move to Yorkshire and his dedication in taking the Ryeland sheep breed to new levels of commercial sheep production.

To wrap up this 3 episode series, we look at the commercial aspects of the modern Ryeland sheep and identify where it sits within todays sheep industry. I speak to top commercial sheep breeder Bobby Morgan about his large Ryeland flock as well as Philippa Gray about her journey into the breed and how Ryeland meat takes pride of place in their farm-shop and butchery.

In this, episode 2, of the Ryeland sheep podcast, we discuss the finer points of wool with one of the country's leading experts who also happens to be a long standing Ryeland breeder, Stephen Hipps. This certainly is highly educational for anyone with an interest in sheep. I also speak to Susan Bryden from Dumfries about how the Ryeland breed has spread its way across the UK and beyond.

In the first of a 3 part series for the Ryeland Flock Book Society, I speak to an old friend of the Toplines and Tales podcast, livestock historian Clive Davies, as well as local breeder Jonathan Webb, about the ancient history of the Ryeland Breed. Dating back to medieval times, the breed rose to prominence in Herefordshire and the surrounding areas and found global fame for its excellent quality wool. We speak about it's remarkable journey through the ages in a highly interesting episode.

After 5 years creating and running the Toplines and Tales podcast, and 4 months away from it being extremely busy, T&T is back. Going forward, we will have a variety of formats, but still include some good guests and interviews.  This week we start a series of short poems, written by myself, and others. I have also narrated this one, but we will may have guest narrators in future ones.  Volcano is based on a true story, about a real cow and our exploits at The Royal Show. The story was first previewed in my book In Bed With Cows, some 10 years ago. If you have ever heard me after-dinner speaking, she has often been part of my subject matter.

This week is an interesting and inspiring story from Andrew Keiley who runs the Hardrow Limousin herd alongside his sheep enterprise in Hawes, North Yorkshire. From being born in Manchester suburbs, and the family farm being sold before he had chance to get started, to working his way through the industry, living in a caravan before eventually getting his own farm. We discuss his pedigree interests and Andrew not only tells us of his steps and pitfalls on the way as well as some inspirational advice to youngsters to never let go of your dream.

After a trip to France to speak to an Angus Producers Group a few weeks ago, I pull together some highly interesting guests who cover some quite unusual subjects. Scottish beef in France, a beef vending machine, 100% grants for solar panel barns, a highly intensive sheep enterprise and growing onion seeds; this podcast will open a few eyes to how France is much more forward thinking in a lot of sectors when it comes to farming. Huge thanks go to the very articulate Sara Ollis for her help with this one, and the great chat that concludes this episode.

Three real characters: Scott Brown, Derek Redpath and Findlay McIntire join me this week for a blether as we have our annual Christmas get together over a few drams. Our topics cover those we have lost this year, great men who have mentored us, top breeds of cattle as well as getting into controversial waters around trees, climate change and carbon nonsense. As always happens, our two and a half hours together involve much hilarity and some cracking stories, particularly from Findlay, on his first appearance on the show. With statements like ‘rewilding? As if the ground here on Rannoch isn’t wild enough already!’; pick your way through this and you’ll hear some incredibly good advice from these three wise men!   If Christmas day gets too much, stick your feet up in the back room, some headphones on and enjoy this one with a dram.

Merry Christmas from Toplines and Tales. A song I wrote called Living Well and Christmas. Lyrics below: Christmas day, no time for regret A year gone by, a great time to reflect A family, all around the table The lights are on and everything is stable If you can be really happy with yourself And keep an eye on each others mental health Make a serious effort in every way No reason why it cant always feel like Christmas day Whether you’re a farmer or just involved There are always problems to be solved But try and take it easy, don’t get stressed These things will put you to the tes Living well, isn’t just a Christmas treat Starting with the diet, watch out what you eat A little exercise, it helps the flow Maybe take a walk out in the snow If you can be really happy with yourself And keep an eye on each others mental health Make a serious effort in every way No reason why it cant always feel like Christmas day Now go and have your turkey, you deserve And with all the trimmings that’s been served Take a little time out for the kids Maybe get a look inside your eye lids And don’t forget the others; a neighbour or a friend who maybe didn’t have the money to spend Perhaps go and knock on their door Or at least give them a call………. Because talking is the best release to help your troubles decrease and its always a two-way street when you smile at everyone you meet If you can be really happy with yourself And keep an eye on each others mental health Make a serious effort in every way No reason why it cant always feel like Christmas day Try and keep that upbeat feeling going Even if outside it won’t stop snowing And if you ever feel that things are wrong You can always find some help at "Farmstrong!" If you can be really happy with yourself And keep an eye on each others mental health Make a serious effort in every way No reason why it cant always feel like Christmas day If you can be really happy with yourself And keep an eye on everyone’s mental health Make a serious effort in every way No reason why it cant always feel like Christmas day Merry Christmas

Hugh Watson and William McCombie will go down in history as the two great men who, between them, started and shaped the Aberdeen Angus cattle breed in the 1800s. From our in-depth research, my guest Dr Bob Hough and myself discuss the merits of these two great men in a debate which will be finalised by you, the podcast listener. This episode makes up the history part of our 5th birthday celebrations and, as Bob and I are prone to do, we go off track a few times.

This episode is a condensed version of episode 214, which talks through the new album download and CD Toplines and Tales has just produced, with guest host Wallace Currie. You an download your copy at www.toplinesandtales.bandcamp.com

Something quite different to celebrate our 5th birthday in a special episode as my guest host Wallace Currie talks about the launch of the new Toplines and Tales Album download, The Family Farm. This is a new on-off music project with proceeds going to Farmstrong Scotland charity. In his usual superb way Wallace quizzes his guest about this project and other controversial issues. Please give it a listen for free at this link Toplines and Tales new album

We get a great insight into sheep farming in New Zealand from well-known Kiwi Daniel Wheeler. Spending a third of his year pregnancy scanning a staggering quarter of a million ewes in both New Zealand and Scotland, Dan-the-Scan and I chat about breeds of sheep, data recording, Luing cattle and sheep exports in this highly entertaining podcast.