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It’s September, and if your feed has convinced you it’s time to “lock in” for the last four months of the year, this one’s for you. Erin checks in after a wildly overstimulating (in a good way) summer and names the low-grade insecurity that crept back in once the goal-tracking stopped. The antidote isn’t a new framework — it’s trusting herself. She’s calling this season Trust Yo’Self, a riff on Parks and Recreation’s Treat Yourself and this year’s word of the year, sovereign, and walks through her September self-care capsule across four buckets: read, rest, play, and think. What we talk about Where September’s “back to school” energy and the viral Great Lock In trend actually come from — and why they inflate ordinary goal-setting into pressure The insecurity that crept in after losing momentum on tracking since Episode 182 with Stephanie Cunningham Trusting two decades of lived experience (20 years at SickKids, 20 years married) over internet expertise Read: recommitting to a diverse TBR after drifting from a 45% goal down to about 35% Rest: physical (17-minute naps), mental (dance workouts), emotional (leaning into the songs that make her cry), and sensory (phone boundaries) rest for the fall Play: a nail polish capsule turned watercolor palette turned playlist turned September wardrobe Think: the mantra anchoring the month — “Trust yourself. You already have what you need to do what you want.”   Frameworks & mentions The Great Lock In — the viral trend framing September–December as a final push before the new year Read / Rest / Play / Think — Erin’s self-care capsule buckets for the month Word of the year: Sovereign   Books & music mentioned The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden “Wizard and I” from the Wicked soundtrack   Episodes & links mentioned Episode 182: What Happens When You Track the Simple Stuff? with Stephanie Cunningham — listen here Episode 115: Five Things You Can Do Right Now to Survive September — listen here Episode 81: September Self-Care Guide: Overcoming Resistance to Change — listen here The “Wizard and I” reel that inspired this episode’s emotional rest bucket — @darlowbarlow on Instagram     Connect with Erin Instagram: @medium.lady Email: [email protected] More book content on Medium Lady Reads — Instagram: @mediumladyreads

This summer I read two books back to back — one fiction, one nonfiction — and they ended up talking to each other in a way I couldn't have planned. Culpability by Bruce Holsinger is a family drama about an autonomous vehicle accident and the AI-ethicist mother whose secret work sits at the center of it. Co-Intelligence by Ethan Mollick is the clear-eyed, cautiously optimistic case for engaging with AI as a co-worker, co-teacher, and coach. I used my Claude enabled book-club wheel widget to pull questions from both, and we get into culpability, cultural conditioning, the heat and chaos of this AI moment, and a very fun casting call — plus a real-time gut check on the Meta settlement news that broke the same week. What We Cover Why this episode doubles as entry five of the AI for the Rest of Us series, and the identity growing pains behind that Book summaries: Culpability by Bruce Holsinger (fiction) and Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI by Ethan Mollick (nonfiction)   Why Mollick's framing — treating readers as intelligent tool-users rather than potential AI "idiots" — landed differently than most AI commentary The Meta settlement: the company's agreement to pay about $18 billion to resolve a multistate lawsuit over addictive platform design and harm to young users, and what it might signal for coming AI regulation Ideas & Frameworks "I'm one of the good guys" — the culpability question at the heart of the novel: how much moral cover does good intent provide when you're the one building the tool. Mollick's core reminder from Co-Intelligence: today's AI models are the "worst" they will ever be — a line that cuts both ways, optimist or not. Weather and storm as recurring image in Culpability — oppressive heat driving knee-jerk, binary reactions to AI; the book's real ask is to look past output ("is it good or bad") toward where decisions are actually being made. Books Mentioned Culpability by Bruce Holsinger (fiction, 2025) Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI by Ethan Mollick (nonfiction, 2024)

Everyone's feed said "kinda chic" this summer — Drew Barrymore's was, Reese Witherspoon's was, Priyanka Chopra's was too. In this solo episode, Erin traces the "kinda chic" trend from its quiet April 2026 origins on Instagram to its full celebrity-mainstream moment in August, unpacks why a three-word phrase gave so many women an "exhale" they didn't know they needed, and pulls the practice apart into two distinct emotional moves — savoring and guilt-neutralizing — that listeners can use whether or not they ever post a word of it. Part trend breakdown, part values practice: media observation and permission slip in one. What Is the "Kinda Chic" Trend? The "kinda chic" trend is a 2026 Instagram and TikTok format where people caption a photo or moment with "kinda chic to..." or "feels kind of chic to...," followed by something that doesn't fit the traditional, expensive definition of chic — a curvy body, an unglamorous home, an unfashionable habit, an ordinary routine. Instead of chic-as-exclusivity, the trend redefines chic as self-acceptance: whatever quietly makes you feel like yourself, said out loud, on purpose. Where Did "Kinda Chic" Start? The earliest post Erin traced is from April 2026, by Australian body-positivity influencer Maria Begins, who posted lines like "kinda chic being a curvy woman and actually liking it" and "kinda chic growing a human, giving birth, and wearing the aftermath like couture." The trend spread through May and June around body image, then expanded into money and even politics by July, picking up some backlash along the way for creators stretching the format past its original spirit. By August, it was fully mainstream: Drew Barrymore's carousel ("kinda chic to be in your fifties," "kinda chic to take your dog with you everywhere you go") hit six figures in likes within days. Reese Witherspoon followed with her own list ("kinda chic to be underestimated," "kinda chic to cheer on other women," "kinda chic to start a book club"). Priyanka Chopra posted an extensive list of her own — including "kinda chic to meet your husband at the Met Gala" — with a caption that closed the loop entirely: "kinda chic to hate this trend." Erin traces the deeper roots even further back — to a May 2025 TikTok moment where creator Tara Colleen posted a gatekeeping "things I find incredibly unchic" list, judging other women's style choices. The backlash to that video — essentially, "who gets to decide what's chic?" — simmered for the better part of a year before resurfacing as the "kinda chic" carousel format by April 2026. All told, roughly an 11-to-12-month cultural cycle from gatekeeping to reclamation. Why Did the Trend Get So Popular? The format works because it offers relief, not information. A private, often shame-adjacent thought gets relabeled as a deliberate, aspirational choice instead of a failing — and the comment section does the rest, with strangers confirming "same" or "you're allowed," turning a private admission into public permission. Content strategist Rachel Holt, whose breakdown of the format Erin references in this episode, describes the trend's core mechanic simply: it takes something you quietly feel bad about and turns it into a choice. Is the Trend Already Over? By August 2026, the format had turned recursive — Priyanka Chopra's own caption joking "kinda chic to hate this trend" is, in Erin's words, the moment "the snake has captured its own tail." Self-parody at that scale is usually a late-stage signal, and Erin notes her own feed already feels "more kind of than chic." Key Ideas From This Episode Chic has always required an observer. Historically bestowed by wealth, taste, or proximity to the right rooms — the trend didn't remove the gatekeeper, it just moved permission from a small cultural elite to the algorithm. Two distinct moves live inside the same three words. Savoring (noticing something already good — Erin's daily dog walk) and guilt-neutralizing (relabeling something that already feels bad, on purpose — Erin's "too-small house") are not the same practice, even when they sound identical in a caption. Nothing stays outside the market for long. Even the trend's most organic-feeling origin point — a body-positivity post — sits inside an industry that's been heavily monetized for years. This episode's takeaway skill: when a private value-practice turns into public content, notice whether you're still doing it for you. The real experiment: collapse the audience to one. Can you grant yourself the same exhale a comment section gives you, without needing it confirmed by anyone else? Erin's challenge to listeners — post or don't, but learn to hand yourself the permission slip either way. Resources & Links Mentioned Maria Begins — early "kinda chic" post, April 2026 Drew Barrymore's "kinda chic" carousel Reese Witherspoon's "kinda chic" post Priyanka Chopra's "kinda chic" post Betches: "The Unchic TikTok Debate" — the 2025 Tara Colleen backlash Know Your Meme: Kinda Chic Trend entry Frequently Asked Questions What does "kinda chic" mean on social media? It's a caption format used to reframe something ordinary, vulnerable, or non-traditional as a deliberate, aspirational choice — e.g., "kinda chic to live a slower life." Who started the "kinda chic" trend? The earliest known post traces to Australian body-positivity influencer Maria Begins in April 2026, though the underlying idea — that "chic" can be self-defined rather than culturally dictated — traces back to a 2025 backlash against a TikTok creator's gatekeeping "unchic" list. Which celebrities have done the "kinda chic" trend? Drew Barrymore, Reese Witherspoon, and Priyanka Chopra have all posted "kinda chic" content on Instagram, helping push the format from a niche body-positivity trend into the mainstream by August 2026. Is "kinda chic" the same as "quiet luxury"? No, though the two rhyme structurally as aesthetic cycles. Both trends promised freedom from a standard — quiet luxury from visible status performance, "kinda chic" from traditional, exclusionary definitions of chic — and both, in their own way, became new standards. How can I practice "kinda chic" without posting on social media? The episode outlines two levels: savoring (noticing something already good in your life without needing it witnessed) and guilt-neutralizing (relabeling something you quietly feel bad about as a deliberate choice instead of a failing) — both done privately, without needing external confirmation. Medium Lady Talks is part of the Medium Lady community — reading as self-care, burnout recovery, and intentional living for millennial women and moms.

Description Erin is joined by close friend and returning guest Stephanie Cunningham to talk about the "Simple 75" — a loosened, personalized riff on 75 Hard that the two of them ran together this summer. What starts as a lighthearted comparison of checklists turns into a real conversation about failure as information (not judgment), narrowing down to "the things that always work," and why the absence of a punitive restart changes everything about whether a habit challenge is sustainable. Steph also opens up about stepping away from the challenge entirely during a family crisis, and what made it feel right to pick it back up — on her own terms — afterward. If you've ever wanted permission to do the thing at 20%, or permission to stop doing it at 100%, this one's for you. Key line: "Hold your goals tightly enough to pursue them, but loosely enough to survive them." What we talk about Why Steph set out to do a traditional 75 Hard, and how it became a "Simple 75" / "75 Medium" once Erin joined in The real rules of 75 Hard, for anyone unfamiliar (two 45-min workouts, one outdoors, a gallon of water, a nutrition plan, no alcohol, progress photos, 10 pages of nonfiction — miss one thing, restart from day one) Tracking as information, not judgment — and why that reframe is the difference between a failure that teaches you something and a failure that just feels like shame Steph stepping away from the challenge for three-plus weeks after a family loss, and what it took to come back to it Narrowing a 10-12 item checklist down to the handful of things that "always work" — and what happens to your creativity and bandwidth when those few things are actually covered Why the no-punitive-restart structure (vs. traditional 75 Hard) might be the real differentiator, more than intensity Consistency isn't perfection — it's what you do after you miss Permission to do the thing at 20%. Permission to stop doing the thing at 100%. What's next for both of them: Erin's 100 Days of Gratitude and dabbling back into Morning Pages; Steph's "75 Medium" continuing alongside marathon training Timestamps (estimated from transcript) 0:00 — Intro & welcome 2:30 — Meet Stephanie Cunningham 4:00 — How the Simple 75 started: Steph's original plan, Erin inviting herself in 9:00 — The paradox of ambition vs. contentment in the present 11:30 — Tracking as information, not judgment 14:00 — Steph steps away: family crisis, three weeks off, and coming back 18:00 — Failure as data, not a reset button — the commencement-speech story 21:00 — Consistency isn't perfection, it's returning 24:00 — How Steph knew it was time to restart 29:00 — Permission to stop striving vs. permission to start striving 33:00 — Narrowing to the things that always work (protein, fiber, movement, phone boundaries, reading) 38:00 — Freedom, community, and wisdom as the throughline 42:00 — "Hold your goals tightly enough to pursue them, loosely enough to survive them" 45:00 — What's next for Steph (75 Medium, marathon training) and Erin (100 Days of Gratitude, Morning Pages) 48:00 — Closing thoughts & where to find Steph Links mentioned Connect with Steph: @steffskiunfiltered Previous episodes with Steph: Episode 23: Medium Lady Talks about Internet Realness Episode 121: Mindful Content Creation Episode 87: Cultivating Your Aspirational To-Do List  Related episode: Episode 169 — Tiny Experiments for March: The Tally Project Coach Bennett on Instagram The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron (Overdrive) Connect with Erin: Instagram: @medium.lady Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady Email: [email protected] More book content on Medium Lady Reads — Instagram: @mediumladyreads Tags / categories burnout recovery, habit tracking, goal setting, 75 hard, self-compassion, consistency, women's wellness, intentional living, friendship, accountability

This month's self-care capsule comes out of a real, lived week — five days of wildfire smoke from the Northern Ontario fires reaching southwestern Ontario, and a crash course in AQI and climate anxiety Erin didn't see coming. She shares a hope-forward book pack, a three-part mental reframe for climate anxiety, and a playful "treehouse mindset" for reducing consumption without falling into restriction or scarcity thinking. What's covered: Living through the wildfire smoke from the Northern Ontario fires (including the community of Collins) and what it revealed about her own, previously unrecognized, climate anxiety Why climate fiction wasn't the right read for this particular week, and choosing hope-forward books instead The August book pack: Becky Chambers' Monk & Robot series, Ursula K. Le Guin's speculative fiction, and a new nonfiction release A three-part mental reframe for climate anxiety: reduce consumption playfully in the next 24 hours, connect outward with community, care inward for your body in the next hour The "Treehouse Mindset" play prompt — reframing reduced consumption as an imaginative game rather than restriction The 100 Days of Gratitude challenge on Instagram (Day 28) and a call to support wildfire-affected communities Key framework: "Well-regulated, well-rested, well-fed, well-supported communities are what save the world — not individual hypervigilance." Books mentioned: A Psalm for the Wild-Built and A Prayer for the Crown-Shy — Becky Chambers (Monk & Robot series) Ursula K. Le Guin — exploring her wider body of speculative and utopian fiction; specific title to follow once chosen (will share on Instagram) Leave the Lights On: How Joyful Decisions Can Save Our Species — Elizabeth Dunn & Jiaying Zhao Join in: 100 Days of Gratitude, Instagram @medium.lady Support: Donate to the Anishinabek Nation 7th Generation Charity — CRA-registered, supporting Anishinabek Nation communities affected by the wildfires.

MLT 180: I Finished a Book, Episode 1 After six seasons of letting the productivity ball get bigger than the creativity ball, Erin's shaking up the format — starting with an unscripted, wheel-spun review of Just Watch Me by Lior Torenberg, built with a little help from Claude. What's covered: Why Erin's stepping back from "better, faster, stronger" podcasting and testing a looser, funnier format The exact AI prompt Erin used to build a 28-question "book club wheel" for spontaneous, unscripted reviews — full transparency on the goal/context prompt structure A deep, spoiler-flagged review of Just Watch Me, the story of Dell Danvers, a newly-unemployed 24-hour live streamer spiralling through a week of viral chaos, spicy-pepper stunts, and unprocessed grief Why the book's central "twist" (her sister Daisy's fate) reframes the entire story as a book about avoidance and grief, not just internet culture The uncomfortable, rarely-said-out-loud truth about wanting to be watched — and what it's like to feel both euphoria and dread from an audience A comp-title pairing with Margot's Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe, and how the two books differ in how much agency their heroines hold onto at rock bottom Key framework: Erin's 70/30 rule for when AI is worth using — the tool brings structure, you bring discernment. (Full breakdown in Episode 174.) Books mentioned: Just Watch Me — Lior Torenberg Margot's Got Money Troubles — Rufi Thorpe All Fours - Miranda July Related listening: Episode 142 — Welcome to the Summer of REAL Rest Episode 174 — My 70/30 Rule: How I Decide When AI Is Worth It

Episode Summary Erin is back at the mic with a confession: she's been taking the podcast a little too seriously. In this honest, unpolished episode, she unpacks the ambivalence she's been carrying as a creator — the quiet pressure, the almost-quits, and the moment a listener named Kate said she just wanted more fun and Erin felt relief instead of defensiveness. From a trail walk with her friend Amy to a summer gratitude challenge already seven days in, this episode is an invitation to skip the optimization and notice what actually feels good right now. In This Episode The honest confession: running the podcast like it has a performance review coming Why Erin hasn't quit even when she's wanted to — and what that reveals about protected time and identity The trail walk conversation with a friend that surfaced the scary thing out loud What one listener's feedback unlocked: permission to receive instead of always deliver What fun actually looks like this summer — reading outside, the 100 Days of Gratitude Challenge, and noticing when you're in a nothing-burger moment The simple question: what would make this more fun right now? A new idea Erin's sitting with: why knowing the right way to live doesn't mean you can read your own life Why this summer is going to feel a little different around here Mentioned in This Episode Amy C. Willis, sobriety coach —https://www.holandwell.com/  Medium Lady Talks on Instagram: @medium.lady 100 Days of Gratitude Challenge — follow along on Instagram Connect If this episode landed for you, DM Erin on Instagram at @medium.lady — she genuinely wants to know what you're doing this summer just because it's fun.

This episode was originally published in June of 2025 In this heartfelt episode of Medium Lady Talks, Erin shares a deeply personal talk on reclaiming “soft work” as a vital part of healing. Inspired by a moment with her therapist and delivered originally at the Say It Like You Claimed It event with Jam Gamble, this message is a reminder that you can’t recover from burnout by doing more hard work. Instead, you need softness. 🪷 Erin breaks down: What “soft work” is and why it matters (think: joy, rest, nature, play) Why soft work activates the vagus nerve and heals the nervous system The limiting beliefs that make rest feel unearned or frivolous The science behind why kindness and pleasure help you recover How to reprogram your brain to notice joy again Whether you’re exhausted from doing everything “right” or just need a moment to feel seen, this episode will help you soften into the truth: you are not broken. You’re just overdue for joy. 📚 Mentioned in this episode: Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith Women Who Work Too Much by Tamu Thomas Reclaim Yourself by Dr. Thema Bryant What It Takes to Heal by Prentis Hemphill Fiction from Kennedy Ryan, Tia Williams, Kiley Reid, and Toni Morrison 💬 Ask yourself: What kind of soft work have I been craving? 💬 Let Erin know what “real rest” means to you over on Instagram @medium.lady—and share this episode with the friend who’s doing everything “right” and still wondering why she’s so tired.   This episode is part of our “Summer of Real Rest” series—time to call ourselves in to a true commitment to the soft work of feeling better one step at a time.    🧡 If this episode resonates with you: Share it with a friend who needs a little extra encouragement Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps more than you know DM me on Instagram @medium.lady or tag your favorite quote from the episode Subscribe for more real talk about building a life you love—one medium-effort step at a time Looking for more support? Access exclusive content and mindful living tools on Patreon.  Join the conversation! Share one need you're naming today and tag @medium.lady on Instagram. The series starts here!  Don’t forget to subscribe! If this episode resonates, share it with a friend or leave a review—it helps others find the show! Other Related Episodes (for your enjoyment): Episode 70: My Life-Changing Perspective on Having the Best Summer EVER Episode 103: Four Questions to Free Yourself from Summer Stress Part One Episode 104: Four Questions to Free Yourself from Summer Stress Part Two Episode 106: Six Things Saving My Summer    Medium Lady Reads Episode 43 - Our Best Recommendations for Your Summer Reading Pile   Connect with Erin: Instagram: @medium.lady Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady  Email: [email protected]  Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify Instagram: @mediumladyreads Key Words: #softwork #burnoutrecovery #restasresistance #nervoussystemhealing #mediumladytalks #mentalhealthawareness #joyishealing #radicalrest

What do you do when life hands you unexpected free time — not a vacation, not a long weekend, but a recurring, reliable gift of unstructured hours every single week? That's exactly the situation Erin's best friend of over 30 years, Emily Gibson, found herself in when a shift in her employment created free Fridays from now through the end of the year. Instead of defaulting to scrolling, guilt, or vague intentions, Emily got intentional. She designed the Found Fridays project — a personal framework and Instagram series where every Friday is planned with purpose, organized into meaningful categories including rest and relaxation, house and home, friends and family, and fun and festive. Each Friday has a specific activity. Each activity is chosen on purpose. In this episode, Erin and Emily explore what it actually takes to move from "I have free time" to "I used that time in a way I'm proud of" — and why most of us fail to bridge that gap, even when the intention is there. What You'll Hear in This Episode How Emily went from a long weekend of wasted potential to designing a full semester of intentional Fridays Why she created categories instead of a to-do list — and how that distinction changes everything The role of accountability, audience, and public sharing in keeping the project alive What the Found Fridays framework looks like in practice: Notion docs, phone calendar scheduling, partner communication The "eat the frog" philosophy and why tackling one meaningful thing on a Friday makes the whole weekend feel lighter Why the project isn't really about Fridays — it's about learning to fall more in love with the life you already have How to scale the Found Fridays concept to fit your life, even if you don't have a full free day to work with The dopamine menu connection: building a list of what actually brings you joy versus what just consumes your time The Found Fridays Framework: Key Takeaways For anyone who finds themselves with unstructured time: Make the list first. Before the time arrives, write down everything you want to do, need to do, and have been avoiding — without filtering. Break it into categories. Not by task type, but by what you need — rest, accomplishment, connection, creativity. Pick from those buckets. Put it in your calendar and tell someone. Scheduling communicates commitment to yourself and to the people in your life. The video is not the goal. The thing is the goal. Accountability tools (like sharing publicly) work when they serve the project — not when they become the project. It's scalable. You don't need a whole free day. Thursday nights from 7 to 9 can hold a Found Thursday. The principle transfers. Guest Capsule: What's Framing Emily's Season Right Now Reading: The Assistant to the Villain series (whimsical fantasy, more approachable world-building than epic fantasy) Watching: Ted Lasso — "the antithesis to everything happening in the world right now" Scent: Citrus everything — Satsuma from The Body Shop, goji berry lemon and orange body lotion Soundtrack: Qveen Herby — "women getting shit done energy," the first thing she listens to every morning Accounts she loves: Christy Newrutzen (@christi.newrutzen) — "how long does it actually take to do the thing?" | Meredith Shaw, Toronto TV personality and plus-size style icon | and, obviously, Medium Lady Connect with Erin + Medium Lady Instagram: @medium.lady Website: www.mediumladycommunity.com Screenshot this episode and tag @medium.lady on Instagram — Erin loves hearing from listeners after episodes About Medium Lady Talks Medium Lady Talks is created and hosted by Erin, a millennial mother building the life that's made for her while fighting burnout, living intentionally, and embracing gratitude — even when she's grumpy. Each episode combines deep conversation, practical tools, and the kind of honesty that helps you maximize self-discovery and minimize self-judgment.

What if the guilt, the overwhelm, and the feeling that you're never quite enough aren't personal failings — but a system you were never meant to question? This week, I'm joined by life coach, author, and mom of four Amber Pecoraro, whose story I think so many of you are going to immediately recognize yourselves in. Amber is the founder of B'joyed Coaching and the author of Escape the Motherhood Matrix — a guide for high-achieving women to identify the invisible conditioning keeping them stuck and start dismantling it for good. She's a former civilian leader in the US Air Force Government Acquisition, a certified life and leadership coach, and someone who, on paper, had it all together — and privately, was crumbling. In this episode, we get into the origin of Amber's rock bottom moment (including a 36-week pregnancy, a child with a bone infection, and a delivery room she was left in alone), the physical symptoms that finally forced her to stop pushing through, and the coaching and neuroscience-based practices that changed everything for her. We also dig into the four P's of reprogramming from her book, why guilt isn't a moral failing but a nervous system response, and what it actually looks like to escape a matrix you didn't even know you were in. In This Episode, We Cover What the Motherhood Matrix actually is — and why "on paper, everything looks great" is often the biggest red flag Amber's origin story: a pandemic pregnancy, a child's emergency surgery, an allergic reaction that took over her face for eight months, and the moment her body finally said no more The belief that had been quietly running Amber's life since childhood — and how she finally saw it for what it was Why guilt isn't a character flaw — it's your nervous system trying to keep you safe (and why that makes it so hard to logic your way out of it) The difference between knowing what you need and actually integrating it — and why self-awareness alone isn't enough The four P's of reprogramming from Escape the Motherhood Matrix: Prime, Prune, Pause, Possibility Why fawning — over-caretaking everyone but yourself — is a fight-or-flight response, not a personality trait My own experience with postpartum depression after my third child, and how "create or die" became the beginning of Medium Lady What it means to "come home to yourself" — and why that's not about becoming someone new The Medium Lady Capsule What Amber is reading: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay — a book she returns to regularly with clients, and one she calls an enduring invitation to possibility. What she's listening to: A podcast on book publishing — specifically resources connected to Chandler Bolt's Self-Publishing School, which she used to bring Escape the Motherhood Matrix into the world. What's embodying this season: Board games with her kids, ages 6 to 13. Less fighting, more laughing. A season of actually being present together — and finding she's starting to enjoy it. Who she's learning from: Tony Robbins — particularly after her husband enrolled in one of his programs. She's a student of many modalities and encourages listeners to find what actually works for them. Resources + Links Amber's website: bjoyed.com Amber on Instagram: @bjoyed.coaching Amber's book: Escape the Motherhood Matrix — available wherever books are sold Amber's quiz: Find out where you are in the Motherhood Matrix — linked at bjoyed.com Free resource for Medium Lady listeners: Direct Message Amber on Instagram @bjoyed.coaching and she will send you two free resources: 1. Quiz: Are you stuck in the Motherhood Matrix?  2. Overstimulated Mom Reset to integrate the 4 P's framework (without adding more to your to-do list) Connect with Erin: Instagram: @medium.lady Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady  Email: [email protected]  Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify Instagram: @mediumladyreads

You've heard the list. Go outside. Move your body. Sleep well. Drink water. Seek connection. Find joy. Get offline. You might have it on a sticky note, a vision board, buried in a notes app. And yet here we are — still knowing, still not quite doing, and carrying a very specific flavour of guilt about the gap.   This episode is not a fix. There are no frameworks, no habit trackers, no systems. What Erin does instead is take four of the eight core mental health domains she's distilled from a decade of reading — identity, movement, connection, and creativity — and gets genuinely honest about what's underneath the struggle to access them. Not in a general way. In a specific, personal, true way.   Including: why resistance training became entangled with grief she wasn't ready to walk through. Why the double bind of "invisible AND excellent" makes creative work feel logically impossible. Why connection has a post-interaction audit problem that robs us of the nourishment we just received. And why delight has been so thoroughly turned into content that the real, private, inconvenient kind feels like we're doing it wrong.   Throughout, Erin invites listeners to locate their own version of each domain — because your reasons for avoiding movement are not the same as hers. The path through is not a better general strategy. It's a more honest personal one.   The argument at the centre of this episode: you are not failing at self-care. You are living inside systems that were not designed for your flourishing. And naming that — really naming it — is the first act of your own reckoning.   What's Covered   — Why "knowing better but not doing better" is rarely a willpower problem — and what it actually is — Identity as the foundation beneath every other domain, and what happens when you've lost reliable access to yourself — The difference between performative delight and the real, private, specific kind that's actually yours — Movement, grief, and why connecting to your "why" can sometimes make things harder, not easier — How post-connection anxiety gets in the way of metabolizing the nourishment we just received — The creativity double bind: invisible AND excellent, private AND public-ready — and why it's a logical impossibility — The difference between creative work that is produced and creative work that is played with — Conditioning, cultural compassion, and what's actually missing from the mental health conversation Mentioned in This Episode   — Cecelia Baum Mandryk — whose work on unpacking resistance through the lens of safety gave Erin a new way into her movement avoidance. Find her at ceceliabaummandryk.com and on Instagram at @cecemandryk — Episode 175 — Four parts of self: the part that wants to be honest, the part that wants to be good, the part that wants to be right, and the part that wants to be liked   Connect with Erin: Instagram: @medium.lady Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady  Email: [email protected]  Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify Instagram: @mediumladyreads

This is the final episode of the AI for the Rest of Us series — and it didn't go the way Erin planned. Not because the series failed, but because it worked. She went in hoping to create a compassionate, curious space for women to engage with AI. She came out changed, uncertain, and more honest about what that process actually costs. This episode is less a conclusion and more an unpacking: of the mental loop that comes with having a public opinion on something nobody agrees on, of changing your mind in real time, and of what it means to hold an evolving point of view without collapsing into certainty you don't have. It's messy. That's kind of the point. WHAT WE TALK ABOUT Why the series was harder to make than anything Erin has produced in a long time — and why "just push through it" wasn't the right answer for this season of life. The mental loop of researching your way to solid ground, getting challenged again almost immediately, and starting over. What that cycle costs when you care about being right, being good, being honest, and being liked — all at the same time. What Erin actually thinks about the environmental cost of AI (spoiler: it's complicated, nuanced, and the 1-litre-per-query statistic is already outdated). Hank Green explains it better than anyone. A new study on AI literacy and receptivity — and why becoming more informed about AI led Erin to use it less, not more. Why directing AI anger at end users instead of industry leaders, politicians, and the people actually making decisions is misdirected — and why treating people differently based on whether they use AI is something Erin has zero tolerance for. What it looked like to pursue AI literacy publicly while her own opinion was quietly changing. And why that's actually what critical thinking looks like from the inside, even when it doesn't feel like it. "Your AI literacy will require you to hold an evolving opinion — you can't perform certainty and you also can't collapse into 'I don't know anything.' Hold yourself to a standard that is both messy and evolving." ONE THING TO TAKE AWAY You don't have to have a settled position on AI. You just have to stay in the conversation — curious, critical, and willing to let what you learn change how you think. That's harder than it sounds, and it's also the only honest option any of us has right now. LINKS MENTIONED Hank Green — How AI uses water (and what that actually means) The clearest, most honest explainer on AI's environmental footprint Erin has found. Covers water consumption, the corn comparison, and why the conversation is more complicated than the headlines suggest.   Lower AI literacy predicts greater AI receptivity — Journal of Marketing (2025) The study Erin references on the relationship between AI literacy and AI use. The more you know, the more critical you become. Worth reading — or at least the abstract.   WHAT'S COMING NEXT Erin is returning to the conversations and topics that feel most like her — mental health, burnout, rest, and the real lives of women navigating all of it. More interviews. More check-ins with real people. Less performing certainty she doesn't have. If this series resonated with you — even the messy parts, especially the messy parts — she'd love to hear from you. FIND ERIN Instagram: @medium.lady Email: [email protected]  Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads."  Instagram: @mediumladyreads

It started with a book club I never made. Last summer I designed it in excruciating detail — the reading schedule, the prompts, the whole vibe. I felt amazing doing it. And then I never launched it. In this episode I'm using that story as the entry point into something I've been quietly figuring out for a couple of years: my personal bar for when using generative AI is actually worth it. This isn't a pro-AI episode or an anti-AI episode. It's an honest account of how I went from delighted early adopter, to someone who noticed she was outsourcing her own discernment, to someone who has built what I'm calling a sovereignty muscle — a choosy threshold for when I open the tab and when I don't. I talk about the dopamine feedback loop that keeps us coming back to these tools even when the follow-through isn't there, the ethics reckoning I had as a reader and lover of human-made art, the environmental cost I started taking seriously, and why I eventually moved from ChatGPT to Claude. And then I get practical. The 70/30 rule — the tool brings the structure, you bring the discernment — and what that actually looks like whether you're a healthcare leader, a creative, or someone who just really wants to read more but can never seem to make it happen. No matter where you find yourself — quietly guilty about using AI, scared to start, or just exhausted by the noise — this episode is for you. You don't need the right opinion about AI. You need your own. Topics covered: generative AI, discernment, the outsourcing trap, the cheating feeling, environmental cost of AI queries, the Anthropic values pivot, the 70/30 rule, and the sovereignty muscle.   Connect with Erin: Instagram: @medium.lady Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady  Email: [email protected]  Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify Instagram: @mediumladyreads

Medium Lady Talks — Episode 173 Is Guilt Driving the AI Gender Gap? Hi, I'm Erin and this is Medium Lady Talks — the podcast for millennial women who want to live more intentionally, read more books, and stop burning out in the middle of a life they actually love. What this episode is about If you've ever used an AI tool (or thought about using one) and felt weird about it afterward — not quite wrong, but not quite right — this episode is for you. We spend the whole episode trying to figure out what that feeling actually is. Because I don't think it's guilt. I think it's something more useful. And the difference matters. We look at what the research says about women and AI adoption, why the gender gap exists (the answer is not what most people assume), and then walk carefully through the emotions that get bundled together under "guilt" — and why naming them separately changes what you do with them. What you'll hear The gender gap in AI use is real and documented across 18 international studies — but it isn't being driven by ethics, technophobia, or lack of access. The biggest driver is self-reported knowledge. Women say they don't know enough, and that uncertainty holds them back. There's also a specific research finding that stopped me: women are significantly more likely than men to describe their own AI use as "cheating." We sit with that one for a while. There are six feelings that tend to get bundled into AI guilt, and they each have a different signal and a different right response: trepidation, cognitive dissonance, identity threat, environmental concern, social anxiety, and actual guilt. Most of them aren't guilt. And the one that might be deserves careful examination — not a spiral. On the environment: the concern is valid at the systemic level, and the accountability belongs with the companies building and scaling these systems — not with individual users. The pattern of loading collective moral responsibility onto individual women while the systems that created the problem go unexamined? We've seen that one before. And the concept I'm now completely obsessed with: fierce ambivalence — from researcher Mara Bolis. The ability to hold two truths at once: I can use these tools to empower myself AND demand better from the people building them. That's not confusion. That might be the most coherent position available right now. Resources mentioned Global Evidence on Gender Gaps and Generative AI — Otis, Delecourt, Cranney & Koning, Harvard Business School Working Paper No. 25-023 The AI Gender Gap Paradox — Mara Bolis, Stanford Social Innovation Review. Where "fierce ambivalence" comes from. A five-minute read I highly recommend. We Did the Math on AI's Energy Footprint — MIT Technology Review. Individual queries vs. industry-level impact, clearly explained, this read is a little bit longer! Environmental Impacts of Artificial Intelligence — Wikipedia. Genuinely excellent. A good two-minute orientation to the full picture and lots of links to take you down a rabbit hole. In Episode 174 we'll get into the "Be Your Own Wife" concept — what a values-based relationship with AI actually looks like in practice.  DM me on Instagram at @medium.lady your reactions and opinions will always be used in consideration of each following episde. Medium Lady Talks is created, hosted and produced by Erin Vandeven. New episodes drop weekly.

This is the one Erin has been building toward for a while. Episode 172 kicks off a new series "AI for the Rest of Us" and it starts in the tension between fear and curiosity, between wanting to look away and knowing we can't. This is a messy, honest, first-person episode about what AI actually is, why the gender gap in AI adoption matters, and how a concept called the "pessimism aversion trap" might be the thing quietly keeping us stuck. No tech background required. No conclusions forced. Just a real conversation (always out loud and in process) from someone figuring it out alongside you. In This Episode Why Erin has been sitting on this episode for months and what finally pushed her to hit record The Reese Witherspoon moment: what her book club poll revealed about women and AI adoption (and why the backlash was valid but also beside the point) The gender gap in AI use: women are using AI at a rate approximately 25% lower than men, and the jobs most likely to be automated are disproportionately held by women Karen Hao's "What is AI?" flowchart — a tool for making AI legible before you decide how you feel about it. Spoiler: it is not just ChatGPT. Mustafa Suleyman's "pessimism aversion trap" from The Coming Wave, the idea that our fear of dark futures can cause us to look the other way, and why that avoidance might be more dangerous than the thing itself How the trap works in both directions: tech optimists use it to wave away risk; everyday people (and moms especially) use it as a protection mechanism to just... keep moving Why sovereignty is Erin's word for 2026, and what that has to do with AI A trust framework from creator Upasna Gautam: trust = transparency / self-interest — and why Erin is committed to transparency about how she uses AI as a podcaster, leader and mom. What Erin is actually using AI for when producing this podcast. Referenced in This Episode Reese Witherspoon — viral Instagram Reel (April 2026) on women and AI adoption Karen Hao — investigative journalist, author of Empire of AI: Dreams and Nightmares in Sam Altman's OpenAI (Penguin Press, 2025); creator of the 2018 "What is AI?" flowchart visualization Mustafa Suleyman — co-founder of DeepMind, CEO of Microsoft AI, author of The Coming Wave: AI, Power, and Our Future (2023) Upasna Gautam — technology and critical thinking creator on Instagram (@uposnagautam); shared Mark Cuban's trust definition: transparency divided by self-interest Episode 171 — Erin's vulnerable personal disclosure episode that set the tone for this one   Connect with Erin: Instagram: @medium.lady Patreon: www.patreon.com/mediumlady  Email: [email protected]  Explore more book-related content on "Medium Lady Reads." - link to Spotify Instagram: @mediumladyreads