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At one time or another, we all find ourselves in relational situations that leave us with the question: when did I agree to this way of doing things?  We are born into societies, cultures, and families that imprint upon us unspoken agreements. As we grow and strive for greater connection, authenticity, and wellbeing, there will inevitably come a time when we find that the way we have been doing things -- with our parent, partner, or another significant person; with the way that we show up in a role or express a part of our identity -- is not how we want to proceed. In this moment, we have a choice: to maintain the status quo and pay the cost to our soul, or to enter into the scary, uncertain, but transformative portal of transition and find out what is possible on the other side. References: A Little Book on the Human Shadow, by Robert Bly  Robert A. Johnson  The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships, by Harriet Lerner Sheryl's course on Healing the Mother Wound: a 40-Day Course for Daughters Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Dr. Lindset Gibson EMDR for Anger Management, by Deborah Kennard Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: When Criticism Hurts | Alcohol & HSPs | Victoria’s Psychotropic Experience | Give and Receiving – Shudder – Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals

What’s the difference between being alone, feeling lonely, and experiencing solitude? Victoria and Sheryl explore the nourishing power of time spent alone, the internal and external barriers that keep us from it, and how solitude helps us reconnect with ourselves, our creativity, and the people we love. References: The Anger Workbook by Les Carter, PhD, and Frank Minirth, MD Rainer Maria Rilke quote about marriage and being guardians of each other's solitude Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh Mothers and Other Fictional Characters by Nicole Graev Lipson Related episodes: Patreon bonus episode: Alcohol & HSPs Gathering Gold episodes about Loneliness and Unrequited Love

Disappointment might be one of the first ways that we experience innocence lost. We hope, we expect, we desire, and then--we are let down. It doesn't happen. The ice cream cone smashes on the pavement. It rains, and we can't play outside. Some disappointments sting like skinned knees. Other disappointments run deep like wounds, turn into scar tissue: the career or relationship that never went the way we wanted. How do we meet the pain of disappointment, find our way through the thicket of pain, and gather some sort of gold on the other side? References: Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery Perennials Episode 67: On Disappointment and Patience Great Expectations by Charles Dickens "Unrequited" by David Whyte

Sheryl and Victoria uncover layers of nuance within the experience of being a seer, a seeker, and a highly sensitive person: these traits can be beautiful compasses pointing us towards depth, meaning, and connection, but they also have their shadow sides. Seeing can shift into blaming, seeking into endless rumination, and sensitivity into controlling behavior. In today's episode, Sheryl and Victoria explore how radical responsibility softens the edges of shadows and clears our path towards empowerment, freedom, and ultimately, love. And, Sheryl shares how a community of responsible seers and seekers, such as the communities created in her courses, offers a safe, healing container for this difficult but life-giving work. References: Sheryl's upcoming round of Break Free from Anxiety: A 9-Month Course on the Art of Living The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl Dialectical Behavior Therapy The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron Other Gathering Gold episodes referenced: "The Power of the Pause" "Resistance to Growing Up"

“I’m afraid of living a small life. Of not living up to my potential. Of never being great.” We hear this often: people wondering whether their life is enough—whether they are enough— and whether they will have regrets in the future about how they chose to lead their “one wild and precious life” (to quote Mary Oliver). In today’s episode, we unpack the paradoxes bound up in considering whether a life is “big enough," and ask the questions: big by what metric? My whose measuring stick?  Sheryl shares personal experiences of touching a certain "bigness" (being on the Oprah Winfrey show and amassing 100,000+ followers on Instagram), followed by unhooking from the seductive but soul-sucking tentacles of a certain kind of success. Traversing stories of Taylor Swift and Doechii, Robin Wall Kimmerer and Jane Austen, we look at messaging from mainstream culture and wisdom traditions about what it means to live a life that is connected, engaged, and meaningful, and how we can resist the “hungry ghost” culture of quantity over quality. Sheryl’s blog post, How to Cool Down Internet Inflamed Relationship Anxiety Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke "The Goodness of Ordinary Life" episode of Gathering Gold Taylor Swift's song “Anti-Hero” and her commentary about it Sheryl’s appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show "DENIAL IS A RIVER" by Doechii Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer Jane Austen’s writing table

Why do we keep searching for the one thing that will finally make us feel complete? Inspired by David Whyte's essay Unrequited Love, Sheryl and Victoria explore the universal experience of longing, and why it is especially familiar to highly sensitive people. Together, they reflect on the ache for perfect connection, the inevitability of disappointment, and the cultural messages that tell us we are only one relationship, achievement, or purchase away from feeling whole. What if longing isn't a problem to solve, but a natural part of being human? This conversation invites embracing life's "beautiful temporary" moments of connection—and finding peace in the imperfect, ever-changing rhythm of love and belonging. References: David Whyte’s “Unrequited Love” from Consolations Enneagram 4 We, Robert Johnson Marion Woodman Dancing in the Flames Olivia Rodrigo “The Cure”

In this solo episode, inspired by a Patreon community member, Victoria reflects on what it means to be a "lazy hard worker"—someone who swings between periods of doing "nothing" and burning the candle at both ends. Through personal reflections, she explores the difference between moving slowly and being truly stuck, the fears that can fuel procrastination and perfectionism, and how understanding our own temperament, rhythms, and needs can help us find a more sustainable middle path. References: Gathering Gold episode: Effort and Ease

Four years ago, we shared an episode on dream work and the gifts that emerge from remembering, recording, and reflecting on our dreams in solitude. Today, we're returning to the subject—this time exploring the power of sharing dreams within a trusted community. What unique wisdom can emerge when we invite others to reflect on our dreams—and when we do the same for theirs? How can dream work expand our empathy, spark creative responses to social challenges, and help us discern how we're called to serve? And how do we find the kind of community where this sacred work can unfold? We explore all this and more in today's episode. References: Jeremy Taylor interviews with Dream Networker and Thinking Allowed Jeremy Taylor's Basic Dream Work Tool Kit Marion Woodman's dream work  Gathering Gold episode: "Living IRL" The Kin of Ata Are Waiting for You by Dorothy Bryant

Sheryl and Victoria reflect on their experiences of Sheryl's first-ever in-person retreat: Another Way. For five days, nestled in a Colorado valley, the retreatants engaged in dream work and rituals; practiced council; moved mindfully; and connected to creativity. Inside a circle of compassion and wisdom, tears and laughter flowed with ease. A web of deep, healing connection was woven--invisible threads of love that now stretch across continents and oceans.  In this conversation, Sheryl and Victoria share the guiding principles of the retreat, emphasizing gentleness, safety, and empowerment; dispel myths about what a retreat experience "should" look like; and explore how, no matter what, showing up with an open heart is more than enough.  References: "Another Way" Gathering Gold episode How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, Jenny Odell Animal Spirit Deck, Kim Kranz Projective identification dreamwork, Jeremy Taylor Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

Sheryl and Victoria share a favorite bonus conversation from the Patreon library ("Dear Highly Sensitive Parent") and current reflections on why it still resonates so deeply--especially now. Sheryl shares some of her most potent, painful, and life-changing experiences in early motherhood and the practices that held and grounded her in the toughest moments. And, she and Victoria discuss Sheryl's first-ever in-person retreat (!) and her new community offering for mothers: The Gathering Well.  References: "There is Another Way" episode The Gathering Well community for mothers Interested in joining a future retreat? Email Sheryl: [email protected] Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

Sheryl and Victoria unpack how children—and adults—can become pigeonholed as “the smart one,” “the athlete,” “the good girl,” or “the creative one,” and what happens when those identities start to feel limiting. Through personal stories about parenting, childhood passions, sibling dynamics, and evolving career paths, they reflect on the importance of allowing young people the freedom to grow, pivot, and surprise us. The conversation touches on intrinsic motivation, the difference between genuine passion and externally imposed expectations, and how gifts and talents can both ground us and become tangled with self-worth. Sheryl and Victoria also explore the tension between encouraging perseverance and honoring a child’s authentic sense of self, sharing examples of how identity can unfold in unexpected ways. Along the way, they discuss multi-potentiality, growth mindset, perfectionism, gender expectations, and the deep human need to feel seen, valued, and free to contain multitudes. References: Other Gathering Gold episodes: You Do Not Have to Be Good Films: High School Musical (2006) Whiplash (2014) Books: Mindset by Carol Dweck Music: “Mirrorball,” by Taylor Swift TED Talk: Why Some Of Us Don’t Have One True Calling

In today's episode, we are exploring the emotional intensity of the middle school years, reflecting on both the pain and the “gold” of this stage—revisiting experiences of loneliness and self-consciousness alongside connection, self-discovery, and courage. We discuss how shifting attention from family to peers can deepen feelings of rejection, while also opening the door to more meaningful friendships and self-expression.  We share how important it was for us to feel truly seen at this age—especially by supportive adults—and how small moments of recognition became lifelong anchors.  In searching for the gold within them, we discover how these "middle" years are not just a time to endure, but a formative, tender, and transformative chapter that shapes who we become. References: “Don’t You Dare Teach My Daughter to Fear the Forest” by TY Chambers Dire Straights podcast episode: "Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s Mall" The Genius Myth by Michael Meade

When the topic of spiritual practice comes up, what comes to mind? Going to a religious service? Connecting with nature? Meditating? There are so many ways to connect of a sense of something bigger than ourselves. There is one vital pathways that is sometimes overlooked: Connecting with each other. In today's episode, we're exploring how connecting with other people -- both real and imaginal, in our memories and in the here-and-now -- can help us grow stronger and softer, safer and braver, more present and more expansive. References: Other Gathering Gold and Conscious Transitions work: Gathering Gold episode on "Spiritual Longing" Sheryl's course "Open Your Heart: A 30-Day Course to Feel More Love and Attraction for Your Partner" Comedy John Mulaney on "Stranger Danger" Tig Notaro's "Hello, I have cancer" Quotes Mr. Rogers: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Maya Angelou: “I’ve had a lot of clouds, but I have had so many rainbows…..and one of the things I do when I step up on a stage, when I stand up to translate, when I go to teach my classes, when I go to direct a movie, I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me.” “Black, White, Asian, Spanish-speaking, Native American, Gay, Straight, everybody. I say come with me — I’m going on this stage. Come with me. I need you now. Long dead….you see.. so I don’t ever feel, I have no help.” “I’ve had rainbows in my clouds.and the thing to do it seems to me… Is to prepare yourself so that you can be a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud." William Blake: “I sought my God and my God I couldn't find; I sought my soul and my soul eluded me; I sought to serve my brother in his need, and I found all three; My God, my soul, and thee.” Music "People Get Back Up" by Mae Martin Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

"I don't like change." Many highly sensitive souls have uttered these words at one time or another. Perhaps we've said them recently, as we watched neighbors move away, or babies grow into toddlers, or winter slip into spring. Maybe we haven't dared speak them aloud since childhood, decades ago, when someone rolled their eyes in response and told us to buck up. In today's episode, we are exploring the contours of change--the good, the hard, the heartbreaking, and the joyful. How can we meet our growing pains and open our hearts with tenderness and compassion amidst the inevitable winds of change? References: Related Gathering Gold Episodes... ...about Time: The Passage of Time How to Slow Down Time   ...about Receiving: Why It's Hard to Receive Good Things   ...about Objects: Artifacts of the Heart Bonus episode: Emotional Support for Spring Cleaning    Books ACT Made Simple by Dr. Russ Harris Great Expectations by Charles Dickens   Poetry “Mysteries, Yes” by Mary Oliver   Films Toy Story (1995)   Music “La La Lu” from Lady and the Tramp “All Things Must Pass” by George Harrison “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac “A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?

Note: We've decided to take a pause on the topic of romantasy, but we may come back to it down the road :) In this special episode, we are sharing our recent webinar with Daev Finn, an artist, psychotherapist, and Sheryl's loving husband.  After years working as a visual effects artist, Daev realized it was time for a change, and he made the transition to become a psychotherapist. Here, he reflects on the personal demons and dreams that pulled him from and to this path, the influence of art and myth on this work, and the process of unlearning much of what he was taught about what it means to be a man.  You can find out more about Daev's work at his website and contact him by email at [email protected] References: Psychology & Myth Jung & the collective unconscious The Hero’s Journey – Joseph Campbell Bill Moyers Special: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth Daev's Writing "Attending to Unfinished Business is the Work of a Lifetime" Films Hamnet Train Dreams Music "On the Nature of Daylight," from The Blue Notebooks Related Gathering Gold and Perennials Episodes The Father Wound Fairy Tales by the Fireside Self-Care, Community-Care with Dr. Kesha Moore Join us on Patreon for bonus content and virtual gatherings: patreon.com/gatheringgold Some of our recent bonus episodes include: Victoria's Psychotropic Experience | The Slipstream of Time | Give and Receiving - Shudder - Feedback | The Problem with Pedestals | Are Intrusive Thoughts like Stray Cats?