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How to find joy again after divorce, loss, and major life changes—plus simple ways to rediscover yourself and create more joy every day. What happens when the roles that once defined you suddenly disappear? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with attorney, law professor, and author SC Perot to talk about how to find joy again when life looks nothing like you expected. After her marriage ended and she stepped away from practicing law, SC found herself facing a profound identity shift. Long walks, a search for “good energy” music, and an unexpected love of Harry Styles became the beginning of something much bigger: a journey to understand what joy really is and how we can intentionally create more of it. SC shares the powerful question that emerged during that season: Who am I when I strip away my roles, relationships, career, and accomplishments? You'll also learn SC's four-part CAPS framework for joy: Cultivate, Adopt, Protect, and Spread. She explains how to notice your personal “joy profile,” why what brings you joy can change over time, and how noticing small moments of joy can train us to see more of them. We also explore comparison and jealousy—especially on social media—and SC's beautiful concept of “borrowed views”: allowing someone else's happiness to add beauty to your life instead of seeing it as evidence of what you're missing. If you're going through divorce, midlife change, grief, or simply wondering where you went in the middle of taking care of everyone else, this conversation is an invitation to start asking a different question: What brings me joy now? Because learning how to find joy again doesn't mean ignoring what's hard. It means remembering that hard things and beautiful things can exist at the same time. Timestamps:(00:00) Why we're talking about joy instead of divorce (03:00) SC's divorce, career change, and identity shift (07:00) Finding a new soundtrack for a new life (11:00) The unexpected Harry Styles journey (15:00) Who are you without your roles and accomplishments? (20:00) Why movement and music can help during hard seasons (25:00) Protecting the things that bring you joy (30:00) Childlike joy vs. childish behavior (34:00) The CAPS framework for finding joy (38:00) Cultivate: discovering your personal “joy profile” (43:00) Why what brings you joy can change (48:00) Learning to notice joy when it appears (52:00) Joy vs. forced gratitude (57:00) Adopt: jealousy, comparison, and social media (1:02:00) Finding “joy in the wild” (1:07:00) The powerful idea of “borrowed views” (1:12:00) Turning someone else's joy into joy for yourself (1:17:00) Protecting your joy from judgment (1:21:00) Spreading joy through generosity and kindness (1:24:00) Finding joy even when you're going through something hard Key Takeaways:Your identity is bigger than your roles. Divorce and major transitions can strip away familiar labels while creating an opportunity to rediscover who you are.Your “joy profile” can change. Something that brought you joy five years ago doesn't have to bring you joy today. Pay attention to what lights you up now.Notice joy in the wild. Sometimes we experience joy simply by witnessing someone else's happiness.Comparison doesn't have to steal your joy. SC's “borrowed views” concept offers another way to experience other people's happiness without making it mean something about your own life.Protect and spread joy. We can stop judging what brings ourselves and others happiness and intentionally add kindness, generosity, and light to the world. Guest Bio:SC Perot is an attorney, law professor, author, and speaker whose personal journey through divorce, career transition, and rediscovering joy inspired her book Styles of Joy. Her work explores how we cultivate, adopt, protect, and spread joy—and how paying attention to joy can change the way we experience even difficult seasons of life. Resource Links:Styles of Joy by SC Perot: https://www.scperot.com/book/ OsteoStrong Minnesota: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Soberlink: https://www.soberlink.com/prove-sobriety/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Disclosure: These are affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords:how to find joy again, finding joy after divorce, joy after divorce, divorce recovery, life after divorce, rediscover yourself after divorce, women and divorce, women over 40, midlife women, midlife transition, finding yourself after divorce, identity after divorce, healing after divorce, divorce mindset, joy and happiness, cultivating joy, comparison and jealousy, social media comparison, Styles of Joy, S.C. Perrault, Harry Styles, CAPS framework, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

How to prepare for divorce, divorce confidence, divorce mistakes, custody, finances, and what women need to know before making major decisions. What happens when a divorce lawyer has actually lived through a difficult divorce herself? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with family law attorney and divorce survivor Hannah Hembry Bell for an honest conversation about how to prepare for divorce with more clarity and confidence. Hannah married young, became a mother to three children in quick succession, started law school while raising her family, and then found herself navigating her own divorce and an incredibly difficult custody situation. At one point, she had to borrow $10,000 against a paid-off car just to fund her initial attorney retainer. Today, Hannah uses that lived experience in her work with women going through divorce. We talk about one of the biggest mistakes she sees women make: using hope as their strategy instead of getting prepared. We discuss why understanding your finances, gathering documents, learning about the divorce process, and building the right support team can help you approach divorce differently. But this conversation goes far beyond how to prepare for divorce. Hannah also shares the message behind her TEDx talk and challenges us to look at whether we're actually enjoying our lives—or simply getting through them. We talk about want, worth and willingness: acknowledging what you really want, believing you're worthy of it, and developing the courage to take action even when you're afraid of being overwhelmed. Whether you're considering divorce, already navigating one, rebuilding afterward, or simply wondering if you've become too comfortable playing it safe, this conversation will encourage you to take one thoughtful step toward a life that feels more intentional. Because how to prepare for divorce isn't only about paperwork. It's about information, support, confidence—and learning to trust yourself again. Timestamps(00:00) Meet divorce survivor turned family law attorney Hannah Hembry Bell (03:00) Marrying young and becoming a mother to three children (07:00) Law school, motherhood and beginning to question her marriage (11:00) The moment Hannah realized something wasn't right (15:00) Entering divorce completely unprepared (19:00) The financial reality of a contested divorce (23:00) Making the heartbreaking decision to move without her children (28:00) Divorce, law school and graduating valedictorian (33:00) Returning to court for a custody modification (38:00) How Hannah's own divorce changed the lawyer she wanted to become (42:00) Why women need to prepare for divorce differently (46:00) The mistake of using hope as your divorce strategy (49:00) Creating My Confident Divorce and a different model of legal support (54:00) Why divorce involves more than legal paperwork (58:00) Hannah's TEDx message and the “medium suck life” (1:02:00) Want, worth and willingness (1:06:00) Lesa opens up about her fear of becoming overwhelmed (1:10:00) How to build your courage muscle (1:15:00) Why Hannah started saying yes to more experiences (1:19:00) Letting go of certainty and making room for surprise and joy (1:23:00) The question to ask yourself this week Key TakeawaysHope is not a divorce strategy. If divorce may be happening, gathering information and preparing yourself can help you make better decisions.You don't have to know everything to become more confident. Confidence grows when you understand your options and know which questions to ask.Divorce is more than a legal process. Emotional support, mindset, finances, parenting and community can all be important pieces.Want, worth and willingness matter. Give yourself permission to acknowledge what you want, believe you're worthy of a meaningful life, and consider what you're willing to do to create it.Build your courage muscle. Sometimes growth happens by doing one uncomfortable thing and discovering you're okay on the other side. Guest BioHannah Hembry Bell is a family law attorney, entrepreneur and divorce survivor whose personal experience navigating divorce and a difficult custody battle helped shape the way she practices law today. After attending law school while raising three young children and going through her own divorce, Hannah graduated valedictorian and began her career in a large law firm. She later left Big Law to create the kind of family law practice and support she wished she'd had during her own divorce. She is also the creator of My Confident Divorce, a model designed to combine legal representation with education, mindset support and community for women navigating divorce. Resource LinksOsteoStrong Minnesota — Lesa's affiliate link: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Soberlink — Lesa's affiliate link: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Affiliate disclosure: Some resource links may be affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywordshow to prepare for divorce, divorce preparation, divorce confidence, women and divorce, divorce advice for women, divorce mistakes, preparing financially for divorce, divorce finances, divorce custody, child custody, family law attorney, divorce lawyer, divorce support for women, divorce mindset, divorce recovery, divorce planning, divorce education, women over 40 divorce, My Confident Divorce, Hannah Hembry Bell, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

Episode Description: Healing from divorce trauma, betrayal, addiction, and grief starts with understanding what you can control—and releasing what you can’t. In this deeply personal episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with author Dana Killion to explore healing from divorce trauma and what it really takes to move from surviving something painful to becoming emotionally whole. Dana shares her experience of discovering her husband's secret life while he was in treatment for alcoholism, the difficult decision to eventually end their marriage, the deaths of both parents, and the devastating loss of her oldest son. Together, Lesa and Dana explore why getting an answer to “why?” can be so important after betrayal—and what to do when the person who hurt you cannot give you that answer. Dana introduces her “story of why” process: using the facts you know to create enough understanding to stop cycling through resentment and begin finding closure. They also discuss healing from divorce trauma when addiction is involved, why loving someone doesn't mean you can save them, how boundaries can coexist with love, and how to recognize when unresolved anger may be a sign that your healing isn't finished. Most importantly, this episode offers hope for anyone who feels overwhelmed by what comes next. You don't have to solve your entire future today. One small step can become another—and those baby steps can eventually become a ladder. If you're navigating divorce, betrayal, addiction, grief, or another major life transition, this conversation about healing from divorce trauma will remind you that what happened to you does not have to determine what happens next. Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction to Dana Killion and Becoming Unbreakable (02:00) Dana's story of addiction, betrayal, divorce, and profound loss (05:30) Why trauma makes us question our history and identity (08:00) What to do when you never get the “why” (10:00) Creating your own “story of why” to find closure (13:00) The three versions of your trauma story (16:00) Loving someone struggling with addiction (20:00) The question: “What if this is as good as it gets?” (24:00) Why you cannot save another person (28:00) How to know whether you're actually healed (32:00) Turning a wound into a scar (36:00) Trauma, forgiveness, and releasing resentment (40:00) Why both people have emotional work to do (43:00) What to do when trauma knocks you off your feet (47:00) Baby steps: rebuilding confidence one action at a time (50:00) How small steps become a ladder forward Key Takeaways: Closure doesn't always have to come from the person who hurt you. Dana's “story of why” can help you create understanding from the facts you already know.Loving someone with an addiction does not give you the power to do their recovery work for them.Lingering bitterness and resentment may be signs that a traumatic experience still needs healing.You control how much of your story you share—and with whom.When divorce or trauma feels overwhelming, don't solve your entire future. Take one small, constructive step and build from there. Guest Bio: Dana Killion is an author, speaker, and trauma-informed guide whose work focuses on resilience, healing, and moving beyond survival. Her newest book, Becoming Unbreakable: A Big Sister’s Guide to Trauma, draws on her lived experience with an addictive marriage, divorce, the loss of both parents, relocation, and the death of her oldest son. Dana uses her story and hard-earned insights to help others understand trauma and move toward emotional wholeness. Resource Links: https://www.danakillion.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://amplifypublishinggroup.com/product/nonfiction/health-medicine-and-wellness/mental-health/becoming-unbreakable/?utm_source=chatgpt.com OsteoStrong Minnesota — https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Soberlink for Family Law — https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Affiliate disclosure: Some links above are affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords: healing from divorce trauma, divorce trauma, divorce recovery, healing after divorce, betrayal trauma, divorce and addiction, alcoholic spouse, addiction and marriage, divorce after infidelity, trauma recovery, finding closure after divorce, emotional healing after divorce, divorce support for women, women over 40 divorce, divorce mediation, divorce coach, co-parenting, rebuilding after divorce, grief after divorce, forgiveness after betrayal, boundaries in marriage, Dana Killion, Becoming Unbreakable, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

Episode Description: Divorce advice for women navigating emotional overwhelm, finances, co-parenting, conflict, and rebuilding confidence with attorney Nicole Sodoma. When divorce is new and emotions are high, it can feel nearly impossible to think clearly, make financial decisions, or know what to do next. In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with family law attorney, author, and certified parenting coordinator Nicole Sodoma to offer practical divorce advice for women who feel overwhelmed, afraid, or unprepared. Drawing from 25 years of family law experience—and her own divorce—Nicole explains why emotional support and legal advice should come from different professionals, how women can begin understanding their finances, and why gathering information is one of the most empowering first steps. Lesa and Nicole also explore why women apologize when they have done nothing wrong, how “I’m sorry” can become a way to avoid necessary conflict, and why healthy relationships require boundaries, communication, and honest conversations. You’ll also hear meaningful divorce advice for women raising children through separation, including how to avoid loyalty binds, communicate with a difficult co-parent, and recognize that each child may experience the same divorce very differently. Nicole shares practical tools such as scheduled co-parenting communication, a shared email account for school and activity information, and the powerful biblical practice of “Selah”—pausing before responding when emotions are high. This honest conversation offers compassionate divorce advice for women who want to make thoughtful decisions, protect their children, understand their finances, and move forward without losing themselves. Listen, save, and share this episode with someone who needs to know that she is not alone. Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction to divorce advice for women with Nicole Sodoma (02:00) Nicole’s experience as a family law attorney and divorced mother (04:40) What to do when divorce emotions feel overwhelming (08:35) Empowering women during and after divorce (11:00) Why women must understand their finances (16:30) Why women say “I’m sorry” when they are not sorry (18:15) Conflict avoidance, boundaries, and relationship repair (21:00) Gray divorce, personal change, and evolving within marriage (25:30) Helping children cope with separation and divorce (27:40) How children experience divorce differently (30:15) Staying for the children versus modeling a healthy relationship (32:20) Prenuptial agreements and having difficult financial conversations (37:20) Communicating with a difficult co-parent (38:30) Using a shared email account for children’s information (40:15) When AI may help improve co-parenting communication (41:30) The biblical meaning of “Selah” and pausing before responding (43:00) Final encouragement from Nicole and Lesa Key Takeaways: Seek emotional support from a therapist or coach so your attorney can focus on providing legal strategy and advice.Learn where the money is, gather financial records, and do not allow embarrassment to keep you uninformed.Repeatedly saying “I’m sorry” may avoid immediate conflict, but it can prevent couples from addressing the real issue.Children experience divorce differently and should never be asked to carry a parent’s emotional burden or choose sides.Create calm, factual, and predictable co-parenting communication—and practice “Selah” by pausing before responding to a trigger. Guest Bio: Nicole Sodoma is a marriage-loving divorce attorney, author, certified parenting coordinator, and certified collaborative law attorney with more than 25 years of family law experience. She is the founder and managing principal of Sodoma Law, a family law firm serving clients across multiple offices and states. Nicole is also the author of Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry, a candid and compassionate book about marriage, separation, divorce, and rebuilding. As a divorced mother of three and stepparent of two, Nicole brings both professional expertise and deeply personal insight to conversations about divorce, co-parenting, finances, and life after separation. Resource Links: Nicole Sodoma’s website: https://nicolesodoma.com/Order Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry: https://nicolesodoma.com/order/Sodoma Law: https://sodomalaw.com/Follow Nicole on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolesodoma/Connect with Nicole on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolesodomaOurFamilyWizard co-parenting communication platform: https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/OsteoStrong Minnesota—Lesa’s affiliate link: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/Soberlink family-law alcohol monitoring—Lesa’s affiliate link: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Affiliate Disclosure: Some links may be affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of these links, Lesa may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords: divorce advice for women, Nicole Sodoma, Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different, women and divorce, divorce attorney advice, preparing for divorce, emotional divorce support, divorce financial preparation, finances during divorce, co-parenting after divorce, co-parenting communication, helping children through divorce, divorce with children, high-conflict co-parenting, gray divorce, divorce empowerment, stop apologizing, women saying sorry, boundaries in marriage, conflict resolution, life after divorce, family law attorney, parenting coordinator, collaborative divorce, prenuptial agreements, Please Don’t Say You’re Sorry, Selah pause before responding, Christian divorce support, faith during divorce, shared parenting email, OurFamilyWizard, Soberlink, divorce podcast

Divorce grief, people-pleasing, trauma, healing after divorce, and finding your voice—Chel Cartmill shares how to move through loss and rebuild. What if divorce isn't just the end of a marriage—but the death of an entire life, identity, and future you thought you were going to have? In this powerful episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa sits down with Chel Cartmill, a divorce coach, trauma coach, grief coach, wellness coach, and breathwork facilitator, to talk about the emotional side of divorce, healing from trauma, people-pleasing, and learning to finally use your voice. Chel shares her deeply personal story of divorce, betrayal, people-pleasing, calling for help, and the shocking experience that followed. Her story ultimately became the foundation for her work helping others navigate divorce, co-parenting, grief, major life transitions, and the process of becoming more fully themselves. Together, Lesa and Chel explore divorce grief and why divorce can feel so much like a death. You aren't only grieving a relationship—you may also be grieving the life you thought you would have, your identity within the relationship, family expectations, and the future you imagined. They also dive into the surprising connection between people-pleasing and self-abandonment, including why people-pleasing can actually keep you focused on how others perceive you rather than allowing you to live from your own truth. Chel explains how understanding your core values can help you make better decisions, recognize what you're saying yes and no to, and stop looking outside yourself to fulfill needs like love, connection, acceptance, and belonging. If you're navigating divorce, betrayal, grief, people-pleasing, or a major life transition—or you're simply wondering, "Who am I and what do I actually want?"—this conversation offers practical insight, compassion, and hope. In this episode, you'll learn how to understand divorce grief, move through difficult emotions without judging them, identify your core values, find your voice, and begin creating a life that actually aligns with who you are. Listen, save, and share this episode with someone who may need the reminder that they are not alone—and that difficult transitions can become opportunities for healing, growth, and transformation. Timestamps:(00:00) Introduction to Chel Cartmill and her book Spider On My Neck (XX) Chel's early desire to help people and her journey into coaching (XX) Marriage, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and searching for answers (XX) Chel's divorce story, calling for help, and the experience that changed everything (XX) Finding your voice and learning to prioritize yourself (XX) Turning trauma into a mission to help others (XX) Why difficult life transitions can become opportunities for growth (XX) The connection between divorce and grief (XX) Why divorce can feel like a death (XX) Understanding ambiguous loss and grieving the life you thought you'd have (XX) How to move through the stages of grief without judging your emotions (XX) People-pleasing: what it is really costing you (XX) Why Chel calls people-pleasing "the most selfish thing you can do" (XX) Finding the fear underneath people-pleasing (XX) Core values and making decisions that align with who you are (XX) Learning to fill your own emotional "bucket" (XX) Chel's values exercise and how to use it (XX) Final thoughts on healing, grief, and moving forward Key Takeaways:Divorce is a form of grief. You're not only grieving the relationship; you're grieving an identity, a lifestyle, and a future you believed you were going to have.People-pleasing can disconnect you from your own truth. Becoming aware of what you're saying yes to—and what you're saying no to for yourself—is an important step toward finding your voice.Your core values can become your compass. Knowing what truly matters to you helps you make decisions that align with the person you want to be.Grief doesn't follow a predictable timeline. Emotions can come in waves, and you may move between different feelings and stages rather than progressing in a straight line.Healing means allowing your emotions without judging them. Learning to notice, feel, and move through emotions can help you process loss in a healthier way. Guest Bio:Chel Cartmill is a divorce coach, trauma coach, wellness coach, grief coach, and breathwork facilitator who has spent nearly two decades helping people navigate divorce, grief, trauma, major life transitions, and feeling stuck. After experiencing her own traumatic divorce in 2006, Chel became a certified coach in 2007 and went on to develop a body of work focused on helping people find their voice, regulate their emotions, understand their values, and create a life that feels aligned and authentic. Chel is also the author of Spider On My Neck, a memoir based on her own extraordinary divorce experience and the healing journey that followed. She wrote the book not simply to tell her story, but to help readers recognize that they are not alone in what they're experiencing. Resource Links:OsteoStrong Affiliate Referral: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Soberlink – Divorce & Family Law: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Chel Cartmill's Book: Spider On My Neck https://spideronmyneck.com/ Core Values Worksheet: https://www.chelcartmill.com/values Tags/Keywords:divorce grief, divorce recovery, healing after divorce, divorce healing, divorce coach, trauma coach, grief and divorce, grief after divorce, emotional healing after divorce, divorce trauma, people pleasing, how to stop people pleasing, people pleasing recovery, finding your voice, finding yourself after divorce, self abandonment, core values, discovering your core values, life after divorce, rebuilding your life after divorce, divorce and grief, ambiguous loss, processing grief, healthy grief, emotional regulation, divorce support, divorce advice, co-parenting after divorce, healing from betrayal, divorce recovery for women, midlife divorce, personal growth after divorce, trauma healing, breathwork, Shell Cartmill, Spider On My Neck, Doing Divorce Different

Can divorce mediation work in a high-conflict divorce? Yes—but it requires two people who are willing and able to participate meaningfully. You do not have to like your spouse, trust everything they say, or agree before entering divorce mediation. After all, reaching an agreement is the reason you are there. But successful divorce mediation requires honesty, complete financial disclosure, meaningful participation, and the ability to make independent decisions without intimidation or coercion. In this short episode of Doing Divorce Different, attorney-turned-mediator Lesa Koski explains the difference between an unhappy couple and a couple that may not be appropriate for mediation. She shares three signs divorce mediation may work, warning signs that additional safeguards or professional support may be necessary, and practical phrases that can help prevent difficult conversations from becoming battles. You will also learn how Zoom rooms, shorter sessions, financial professionals, and limited-scope attorneys can make mediation more workable in some high-conflict cases. Divorce mediation is not a boxing match. You are not there to defeat your spouse. You are there to make informed decisions about your children, finances, and future. Suggested Timestamps(00:00) Can divorce mediation work if you don’t get along? (00:52) You don’t have to like your spouse—but you must be willing (02:05) What meaningful participation in mediation requires (03:28) Why complete financial disclosure is essential (04:25) Compromise, priorities, and possible solutions (05:24) Coercion, intimidation, and independent decision-making (06:34) Three signs divorce mediation may work (07:34) How high-conflict mediation can be structured differently (08:36) When mediation may not be appropriate (10:05) Three communication phrases to use in mediation (11:10) Divorce mediation is not a boxing match Key TakeawaysYou do not need a friendly relationship to mediate, but both spouses must be willing and able to participate meaningfully.Complete and honest financial disclosure is essential.Each person must be able to ask questions, say no, consider options, and make independent decisions.High conflict does not automatically rule out mediation; separate rooms, shorter sessions, attorneys, and financial professionals may help.Mediation may not be appropriate when fear, coercive control, ongoing abuse, manipulation, or hidden finances prevent meaningful participation.Listening and acknowledging your spouse’s concerns does not mean agreeing with them. Communication Phrases to Try“What I hear you saying is…”“The part that matters most to me is…”“Here is where I may have some flexibility…”“One part of what you said that I agree with is…” About Lesa KoskiLesa Koski is an attorney-turned-mediator, divorce coach, educator, and host of Doing Divorce Different. She helps individuals and couples approach divorce with greater clarity, dignity, and less conflict through mediation, education, and practical decision-making support. ResourcesSchedule a Divorce Clarity Call: https://www.lesakoski.com/ Learn more about working with Lesa: https://www.lesakoski.com/ This episode provides general educational information and is not legal advice. Mediation standards, legal requirements, and available processes vary by state and individual circumstances.

Episode Title: Can You Keep the House in Divorce? Mortgage Assumptions, Refinancing & the Mistakes to Avoid Episode Description: Keeping the house in divorce? Learn how mortgage assumptions, refinancing, home equity buyouts, and divorce-decree wording can affect your future. For many families, deciding what to do with the home is one of the most emotional—and financially significant—parts of divorce. Selling is not always the only answer. Keeping it is not always the right answer, either. The key is getting the right information before your agreement is final. In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski talks with divorce mortgage specialist Brett Leschinsky about what it really takes to keep the house in divorce. They explain why a low interest rate should not be the only factor in your decision, how a name-delete mortgage assumption works, and why the spouse keeping the home must qualify using post-divorce income and debt. You will also learn the critical difference between being on the title and being on the loan, how missed payments can affect an ex-spouse whose name remains on the mortgage, and why precise divorce-decree wording may influence whether an equity payment is treated as a buyout or a cash-out refinance. Brett also shares when temporarily keeping both names on a loan may work—and why trust, timing, and a detailed exit plan matter. If you are wondering whether you can keep the house in divorce, refinance after divorce, assume your current mortgage, or buy another home before the divorce is final, this conversation will help you ask smarter questions before signing your decree. Listen, save, and share this episode with anyone facing decisions about divorce, real estate, or mortgage financing. Timestamps (approximate) (00:00) Introduction: Can you afford to keep the house in divorce? (02:50) How Brett became a divorce mortgage specialist (07:15) The emotional and financial sides of keeping the family home (09:00) Why higher interest rates changed divorce negotiations (11:45) Mortgage assumptions: where to start and whom to call (15:30) Qualifying with post-divorce income, debts, and debt-to-income ratios (20:55) Why divorce-decree wording matters to mortgage underwriting (23:00) Home-equity buyout versus cash-out refinance (26:00) DIY divorce paperwork and when limited-scope legal help may matter (29:50) Title versus loan: ownership is not the same as repayment responsibility (34:20) Risks of leaving both spouses on the loan after divorce (38:40) Final advice and Brett’s mortgage-rate handbook Production note: Replace these estimates with exact player timestamps after the final audio edit, especially if advertisements or an introduction are added. Key Takeaways Do not automatically sell the home—or automatically fight to keep it. Compare the full post-divorce cost of ownership with realistic alternatives, including rent. A mortgage assumption is never guaranteed. Confirm that the servicer allows it and learn its underwriting requirements before the divorce is finalized. The spouse keeping the home generally must qualify using post-decree income and debts; servicers may apply different debt-to-income limits. Title and loan responsibility are separate. A quitclaim deed can change ownership, but it does not remove a borrower from the loan. The wording in the divorce decree can affect financing options. Coordinate with a divorce mortgage specialist and legal professional before signing—not after. Guest Bio Brett Leschinsky is a Minnesota mortgage consultant (NMLS #334641) who has worked in mortgage lending since 2002 and specializes in home-financing issues connected to divorce. After discovering that traditional mortgage advice did not always fit divorcing families, he committed himself to helping clients and family-law professionals understand assumptions, refinancing, equity buyouts, loan qualification, and timing. Brett has discussed divorce mortgage mistakes on WCCO’s Real Estate Radio Hour and has presented educational programs for family-law attorneys. Resource Links Connect with Brett Leschinsky / Mortgage Forest: https://mortgageforest.com/ Contact Brett or request his Divorce Handbook: https://mortgageforest.com/contact/ OsteoStrong Minnesota: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ (affiliate link) Soberlink for Family Law: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink (affiliate link) Affiliate disclosure: Some links may be affiliate links, which means Lesa may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords keeping the house in divorce, divorce mortgage, mortgage assumption after divorce, refinance after divorce, home equity buyout divorce, divorce and real estate, name delete assumption, remove spouse from mortgage, divorce decree mortgage wording, title versus mortgage, quitclaim deed divorce, buying a home during divorce, divorce financial planning, family home after divorce, divorce mortgage specialist, Minnesota divorce, divorce mediation, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski, Brett Leschinsky

What if the goal is not to become smaller, but to help your body work better? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski talks with registered dietitian and weight-health expert Ashley Koff, RD, author of Your Best Shot: The Personalized System for Optimal Weight Health—GLP-1 Shot or Not. Ashley reframes GLP-1 weight loss by explaining why weight is a signal—not a moral judgment—and why total weight can include bone, muscle, fat, and water. She shares how naturally occurring GLP-1 and related hormones are connected with appetite, satiety, blood sugar, digestion, and other aspects of metabolic health. You will hear a nuanced conversation about when GLP-1 medication may be one helpful tool, why it is never the entire plan, and what to consider if you experience side effects or prefer a non-medication approach. Ashley also discusses food noise, gut health, hydration, nourishment, strength, sleep, and the often-missed role of rest and recovery. For anyone navigating divorce, menopause, illness, or another major life transition, this episode offers a more compassionate way to approach GLP-1 weight loss and overall well-being. Instead of chasing a number on the scale, Ashley encourages listeners to protect muscle, bone, energy, and the resources needed to live their purpose. If you are curious about GLP-1 weight loss, struggling with food noise, or wondering why a popular plan has not worked for your body, listen before making your next move. Save this episode, share it with a friend, and bring your questions to a qualified member of your health-care team. This episode is educational and is not medical advice. Consult qualified health professionals before starting, stopping, or changing medication, supplements, nutrition, or exercise. Timestamps (in parentheses):(00:00) Introduction to weight health with Ashley Koff, RD (07:00) Why weight is a signal—not a judgment (10:00) GLP-1 medications are a tool, not a magic solution (12:40) GLP-1, GIP, muscle, and bone-health nuance (17:05) What everyone needs—with a GLP-1 medication or without one (21:30) How to evaluate whether medication may fit your needs (30:15) Your Best Shot and the foundations of digestion and hydration (34:50) Why drinking more water is not the whole hydration story (38:30) Food noise and ways to support the body without medication (43:35) Why “weight loss” may include losses you do not want (49:15) Rest, recovery, and caring for yourself during divorce (52:10) Giving yourself the best shot at your next chapter (54:05) Closing thoughts and where to learn more Timestamp note: These timestamps are based on the supplied transcript and should be checked against the final edited audio or video before publishing. Key Takeaways:Weight health includes bone, muscle, fat, water, energy, digestion, and other signals—not only the number on the scale.GLP-1 medications may be useful for some people, but they do not replace individualized nutrition, hydration, movement, sleep, monitoring, and recovery.“Weight loss” can include unwanted muscle, bone, water, hair, and energy loss; a better plan defines the specific outcome being pursued.Food noise and medication side effects deserve personalized assessment rather than shame, guesswork, or one-size-fits-all advice.During divorce or another demanding transition, rest and recovery are legitimate parts of caring for your health. Guest Bio:Ashley Koff, RD, is the USA Today bestselling author of Your Best Shot (HarperOne), founder of The Better Nutrition Program (BNP), and a pioneering voice behind the emerging weight health movement. A practitioner and thought-leader with more than 25 years of experience, Ashley has helped redefine how we approach weight, shifting the conversation from weight loss to weight health, a science-based framework focused on metabolic function, hormonal regulation, and sustainable outcomes. Through her work with patients, clinicians, leading brands and companies, and health organizations, Ashley has developed practical systems that translate complex nutrition science into personalized strategies people can actually implement. In Your Best Shot, Ashley introduces the concept of weight-health hormones, GLP-1, GIP, CCK, and PYY, as key regulators of weight health. The book presents the first functional assessment framework for these hormones along with a personalized optimization approach designed to support weight health whether using GLP-1 medications or not (“shot or not”). A trusted expert featured across major media and a sought-after educator for health professionals, Ashley has been recognized as one of CNN’s Top 100 Health Makers and named “Hollywood’s Leading Dietitian” by InStyle. Through her clinical work, educational programs, and writing, Ashley continues to lead a growing movement toward better, not perfect, nutrition that supports long-term metabolic and weight health. Resource Links:Your Best Shot by Ashley Koff, RDAshley Koff and The Better Nutrition ProgramOsteoStrong Minnesota—Lesa Koski affiliate referralSoberlink family-law resources—Lesa Koski affiliate referral https://www.instagram.com/ashleykoffapproved/?hl=en, https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashley-koff/, https://substack.com/@ashleykoffrd?r=3fuq67&utm_campaign=profile&utm_medium=profile-page Affiliate disclosure: Lesa may receive compensation if you make a purchase through an affiliate link, at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords:GLP-1 weight loss, weight health, Ashley Koff RD, Your Best Shot book, GLP-1 medications, GLP-1 shot or not, gut health, food noise, metabolic health, women’s health, nutrition during divorce, divorce wellness, muscle loss, bone health, strength training, rest and recovery, hydration, semaglutide, tirzepatide, appetite hormones, personalized nutrition, healthy weight management, perimenopause health, menopause nutrition, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski

Gray divorce after 50 can affect your health, strength, bone density, muscle, and independence. Learn practical ways to rebuild stronger. When we talk about gray divorce, we usually talk about the house, retirement accounts, Social Security, spousal maintenance, and the fear of beginning again. But we do not talk nearly enough about the body carrying us through it all. In this solo episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski shares why physical strength deserves a place in every woman’s gray divorce plan. Drawing from her own breast cancer recovery, osteopenia diagnosis, menopause journey, and experience with OsteoStrong, Lesa explores how small, sustainable choices can help women care for their bones, preserve muscle, support balance, and protect their independence. You’ll hear a thoughtful discussion about bone-density screening, strength and weight-bearing exercise, nourishment during stressful seasons, and questions to ask your healthcare provider—especially if you are postmenopausal, have cancer-treatment history, or use a GLP-1 medication such as Ozempic, Wegovy, or Zepbound. Gray divorce can make the future feel uncertain, but caring for your body is one place where you can begin reclaiming agency. You do not have to transform everything at once. One walk, one nourishing meal, one appointment, or one conversation can become the next strong step in your comeback. This episode is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Consult your physician or another qualified healthcare professional about your personal health, medications, nutrition, exercise, and bone-density screening. If this episode encourages you, please follow the show, save it for later, and share it with a woman navigating gray divorce, menopause, weight loss, cancer recovery, or another major midlife transition. Timestamps (approximate):(00:00) Why physical strength matters during gray divorce (02:35) Bone loss, osteopenia, and the hidden risk to independence (05:10) Reclaiming agency through small, healthy choices (07:45) Lesa’s breast cancer recovery and bone-health wake-up call (11:05) Lesa and her mother’s personal experience with OsteoStrong (15:35) Bone-density screening, DEXA scans, and questions for your doctor (19:10) How divorce stress can disrupt sleep, food, and exercise (22:30) GLP-1 weight loss, muscle loss, and bone-health conversations (27:10) Five ways to support strength, mobility, and independence (33:20) Why nourishment and community belong in your comeback plan (37:40) Choosing one strong next step after divorce Key Takeaways:Physical strength supports mobility, balance, confidence, and independence during and after gray divorce.Bone loss can be silent, so women should ask a qualified healthcare provider whether bone-density screening is appropriate for them.Small, repeatable actions—walking, resistance training, nourishing meals, rest, and medical appointments—can restore a sense of agency.Women experiencing significant weight loss, including those using GLP-1 medications, should discuss muscle, nutrition, and bone health with their healthcare providers.Community is part of strength; supportive groups, friends, faith communities, and wellness spaces can help women feel seen during major transitions. Guest Bio:This is a solo episode featuring Lesa Koski, a divorce mediator, divorce coach, attorney, educator, author, breast cancer survivor, and host of Doing Divorce Different. Lesa helps women approach divorce with clarity, dignity, and hope while creating a strong, meaningful life on the other side. Her guiding message is: Midlife is not your crisis—it’s your comeback. Resource Links:Explore OsteoStrong Minnesota through Lesa’s affiliate link: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/Learn about Soberlink for divorce and family law through Lesa’s affiliate link: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelinkLearn more about Lesa, divorce coaching, mediation, and her community: https://lesakoski.com Affiliate disclosure: Lesa may receive compensation if you use an affiliate link. This does not increase your cost. OsteoStrong is not medical treatment, and individual experiences vary. Consult an appropriate healthcare professional before beginning a new health or exercise program. Tags/Keywords:gray divorce, gray divorce after 50, divorce after 50, women and divorce, bone health for women, bone density after menopause, osteopenia, osteoporosis prevention, strength training after 50, menopause bone health, GLP-1 muscle loss, GLP-1 bone health, Ozempic and bone health, Wegovy and muscle loss, Zepbound and strength training, women over 50 health, midlife comeback, divorce recovery, rebuilding after divorce, healthy aging for women, independence after divorce, Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski, divorce coach, divorce mediator, OsteoStrong Minnesota

Financial confidence during divorce starts with understanding your budget, gathering financial information, and learning how to negotiate without fear. If you don’t understand your marital finances—or you’ve always relied on your spouse to manage the money—you are not alone. Divorce can suddenly require you to make decisions about budgets, retirement accounts, property division, spousal support, taxes, and your home while you are also experiencing grief and emotional overwhelm. In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Rhonda Nordick to explain how women can build financial confidence during divorce one small step at a time. Rhonda shares how her childhood experiences shaped her relationship with money and eventually inspired her to help women advocate for themselves financially. She explains why lasting confidence requires both knowledge and practical experience—and why trying to absorb too much financial information while experiencing divorce trauma can leave women feeling even more overwhelmed. You’ll learn the first financial step to take when divorce becomes a possibility, how your current and projected budget affects property division and support, and how to identify gaps in financial information. Rhonda also introduces her BRIDGE Method for organizing the financial divorce process and teaches her powerful ANOT negotiation formula. This four-part approach helps women communicate assertively, make clear requests, and negotiate without becoming aggressive or abandoning their own needs. If fear, avoidance, or people-pleasing has kept you from participating fully in financial conversations, this episode will help you begin developing financial confidence during divorce. You do not need to understand everything today. You need the right information, the right support, and the courage to take your next small step. Listen, save, and share this conversation with someone who wants to make informed financial decisions and build financial confidence during divorce. Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction to financial confidence during divorce (01:45) Rhonda Nordick’s personal money story and Bold Beginnings (05:10) How childhood experiences shape our beliefs about money (08:20) Lesa’s experience with financial fear and unexpected retirement (10:15) Why confidence requires both financial knowledge and experience (13:05) Managing money decisions while experiencing divorce trauma (15:45) The first financial step: Understanding your spending and budget (18:20) How budgeting affects support, property division, and your home (20:15) Rhonda’s BRIDGE Method for organizing divorce finances (23:30) Identifying missing information, income gaps, taxes, and liquidity (25:35) Why women may agree to unfair terms to avoid conflict (27:00) The ANOT negotiation formula explained (29:15) Example: Negotiating a home buyout or refinancing timeline (32:00) How people pleasers can communicate assertively without aggression (34:15) Using negotiation and communication skills beyond divorce (36:05) Final encouragement for building financial confidence Key Takeaways: Financial confidence grows when financial knowledge is combined with practical experience and small successes.Your first step should be understanding your current spending and estimating your post-divorce expenses.Accurate budgets and financial documents are essential when evaluating support, property division, housing, taxes, and liquidity.Rhonda’s ANOT formula—Acknowledge, Naturally, Obviously, and The Ask—helps you negotiate kindly and assertively.You don’t need to learn everything at once; focus on the information required for the next decision in front of you. Guest Bio: Rhonda Nordick is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, educator, speaker, and author featured in the book Bold Beginnings. Drawing on her personal money story and years of teaching experience, Rhonda helps women understand complex financial information, evaluate divorce settlement options, and advocate for themselves without apology. She is featured in this episode because of her practical, trauma-informed approach to building financial confidence and negotiating during divorce. Resource Links: Rhonda Nordick’s website and services: https://womensfinancialwellnesscenter.com/Schedule a Divorce Clarity Call with Lesa Koski: [Insert booking link]Learn more about OsteoStrong Minnesota: https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/Learn more about Soberlink for divorce and family law: https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink Disclosure: Some resource links may be affiliate links. If you use one of these links, Lesa may receive compensation at no additional cost to you. Tags/Keywords: financial confidence during divorce, divorce finances for women, divorce financial planning, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, CDFA, divorce budgeting, divorce negotiation tips, negotiating a divorce settlement, financial preparation for divorce, women and money, divorce financial checklist, property division, spousal maintenance, spousal support, keeping the house after divorce, divorce mediation, divorce settlement negotiation, assertive communication, people pleasing in divorce, financial empowerment for women, BRIDGE Method, ANOT negotiation formula, Rhonda Nordick, Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different podcast, divorce podcast for women, midlife divorce, divorce help for women

Protecting assets in divorce doesn't have to be confusing. Learn how prenups, postnuptial agreements, trusts, inheritance, and estate planning can help protect your financial future before or during marriage. What happens to an inheritance in a divorce? Does putting assets into a trust automatically protect them? Is a prenuptial agreement only for wealthy couples? Can a postnuptial agreement protect your family if addiction, business ownership, or financial concerns become part of your marriage? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski sits down with Minnesota estate planning attorney Melissa Miroslavich to answer the questions many people don't realize they should be asking until it's too late. Together they discuss protecting assets in divorce, the differences between marital and non-marital property, when prenuptial agreements and postnuptial agreements make sense, how trusts actually work, and why estate planning should be part of every family's long-term plan. Whether you're happily married, engaged, considering divorce, or simply planning for the future, this conversation will help you better understand your options and make informed decisions. In this episode you'll learn: • What a prenup really does (and doesn't do) • When a postnuptial agreement may be appropriate • How inheritance is treated during divorce • The difference between marital and non-marital property • Common misconceptions about trusts • How addiction or financial struggles can affect long-term planning • Why mediation allows families to create customized solutions Every family is unique, and every situation deserves thoughtful planning. This episode is educational in nature and is not legal advice. If you have questions about your own circumstances, consult an experienced attorney in your state. If this episode helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may benefit from understanding how to better protect their family and financial future. Timestamps(00:00) Welcome and introduction to protecting assets in marriage and divorce (02:15) What every couple should know about prenuptial agreements (08:30) Marital vs. non-marital property explained (13:45) Can inheritance stay separate during divorce? (20:05) Trusts explained: Revocable vs. irrevocable trusts (29:40) Real-life divorce scenario involving inherited assets (37:20) Addiction, financial protection, and postnuptial agreements (48:15) Divorce, legal separation, or postnuptial agreement—which offers the most protection? (56:10) Estate planning after divorce (1:02:45) Beneficiary designations people often forget to update (1:07:30) Final thoughts and practical planning tips Key TakeawaysA prenuptial agreement is more than planning for divorce—it creates clarity, transparency, and shared expectations before marriage.Simply placing assets into a trust does not automatically protect them during a divorce.Keeping inherited assets separate is essential if you want to preserve their non-marital character.Postnuptial agreements can help couples proactively address financial concerns, but they have unique legal requirements.Estate planning and beneficiary designations should always be reviewed after a divorce or major life change. Guest BioMelissa Miroslavich is a Minnesota attorney focusing on estate planning, prenuptial agreements, postnuptial agreements, business succession planning, and asset protection strategies. She helps individuals, families, and business owners create thoughtful legal plans that protect what matters most while preparing for life's expected—and unexpected—transitions. Resources MentionedMelissa Miroslavich Law https://miroslavichlaw.com Schedule a Divorce Clarity Session https://www.lesakoski.com/offers/2HAtaGZ6/checkout Divorce Comeback Community https://www.skool.com/divorce-clarity-40-8663/about Soberlink – A Trusted Tool for Accountability in Family Law Cases https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink OsteoStrong Minnesota – Bone Health & Strength https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Tags / Keywordsprotecting assets in divorce, divorce, divorce mediation, mediation, prenuptial agreement, prenup, postnuptial agreement, postnup, inheritance and divorce, trusts, revocable trust, irrevocable trust, estate planning, marital property, non-marital property, asset protection, Minnesota divorce, divorce planning, divorce coach, Lesa Koski, Melissa Miroslavich, family law, divorce education, financial planning after divorce, collaborative divorce

High conflict divorce can leave you feeling lost, overwhelmed, and questioning who you are. In this powerful conversation, divorce coach Karen McMahon shares how to reclaim your identity, regulate your emotions, and begin healing after divorce.If you're facing a high conflict divorce, struggling with betrayal, or wondering if life will ever feel normal again, this episode is for you. Lesa sits down with renowned divorce coach, speaker, and host of the Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, Karen McMahon, for an honest conversation about what really happens during divorce—and how women can emerge stronger than ever. Karen shares her deeply personal story of surviving a three-and-a-half-year high conflict divorce, losing herself in marriage, and rebuilding a life she now calls her greatest gift. Together, Lesa and Karen discuss emotional regulation, surrender, self-worth, people-pleasing, codependency, healing childhood wounds, and why the comeback begins long before the divorce is final. If you've been feeling stuck, afraid, or overwhelmed, this episode will remind you that healing is possible and your best chapter may still be ahead. Because divorce isn't the end of your story—it can be the beginning of your comeback. Timestamps(00:00) Welcome and introduction to Karen McMahon (03:15) Karen's powerful high conflict divorce story (08:40) Why women often lose their identity in marriage (15:10) Emotional regulation during divorce (22:30) Reclaiming your identity and rebuilding confidence (30:05) The power of surrender and letting go of control (38:20) Breaking free from victim mentality and embracing acceptance (47:15) Healing betrayal, grief, and emotional wounds (55:40) How to get unstuck and move forward after divorce (1:03:30) Creating your comeback and envisioning your future self Key TakeawaysMany women lose their identity long before divorce begins—and healing starts by reconnecting with yourself.Emotional regulation allows you to make wiser decisions during divorce instead of reacting from fear.Acceptance isn't giving up; it's letting go of what you can't control while taking responsibility for what you can.Your divorce does not define your future—your response to it does.The comeback begins when you start becoming the woman you were created to be. Guest BioKaren McMahon is a nationally recognized divorce coach, speaker, and host of the Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast. After surviving a lengthy high conflict divorce herself, she dedicated her career to helping women reclaim their confidence, rebuild their identity, and create a life they truly love after divorce. Karen has coached thousands of individuals through one of life's most difficult transitions with compassion, practical strategies, and hope. Resource LinksKaren McMahon Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast Website: https://journeybeyonddivorce.com Lesa Koski Join the Divorce Comeback Community (Live every Wednesday at Noon CST) Website: https://www.lesakoski.com Schedule a Divorce Clarity Call https://www.lesakoski.com Podcast Sponsors Soberlink – A trusted alcohol monitoring solution that helps reduce conflict and increase accountability during co-parenting and family law matters. https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink OsteoStrong – Support your bone health, strength, and healthy aging with OsteoStrong. https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/ Tags/Keywordshigh conflict divorce, divorce recovery, divorce coaching, healing after divorce, identity after divorce, emotional healing after divorce, divorce support, codependency recovery, people pleasing, emotional regulation, betrayal trauma, self-worth after divorce, women over 40, divorce podcast, Journey Beyond Divorce, Karen McMahon, Lesa Koski, Doing Divorce Different, divorce mindset, life after divorce, divorce healing, rebuilding after divorce, personal growth, women empowerment

Financial planning for divorce doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Learn how to take control of your money, reduce financial fear, and confidently navigate divorce with expert guidance from Certified Financial Planner Donna Jean Kendrick. Divorce can leave even the smartest women feeling overwhelmed by money. Whether you're preparing for divorce, recovering from widowhood, or simply want to become more financially confident, this conversation is packed with practical advice that can change your future. In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa sits down with Certified Financial Planner® Donna Jean Kendrick, who transformed her own heartbreaking story into a mission of helping women navigate life's biggest financial transitions. After unexpectedly losing her first husband, Donna discovered firsthand how confusing—and frightening—financial decisions can become during times of grief. Today, she specializes in helping women create confidence, clarity, and financial security through financial planning for divorce, widowhood, and blended families. Together, Lesa and Donna discuss why every woman should understand her finances, regardless of her marital status, and how financial planning for divorce can eliminate fear, provide clarity, and create lasting peace of mind. They also share practical steps you can take today to become financially empowered before a crisis ever happens. Whether you're considering divorce, currently in the middle of one, rebuilding afterward, or simply want to become more financially informed, this episode will leave you feeling hopeful, prepared, and empowered. If you're ready to take action, Donna also shares her free 6-Week Financial Challenge to help you organize your financial life one simple step at a time. Timestamps(00:00) Introduction to Donna Jean Kendrick and her inspiring mission (03:10) Losing her husband and rebuilding life from the ground up (10:12) Why major life transitions make financial decisions so difficult (16:42) The importance of slowing down before making money decisions (21:30) How financial planners help women through divorce and widowhood (27:05) Why knowledge replaces financial fear (34:18) The Divorce Money Map and organizing your financial life (42:14) Lessons every married woman should learn about finances (50:27) Why every woman should understand her own money—even in a happy marriage (58:33) Practical financial habits that create confidence and peace (1:04:45) Donna's books, free resources, and 6-Week Financial Challenge Key TakeawaysFinancial fear decreases dramatically when you understand what you own, owe, and control.Major life transitions are not the time to make rushed financial decisions—slow down and seek trusted guidance.Every woman should know where important financial documents, accounts, and assets are located, regardless of her relationship status.Building financial confidence starts with small, manageable steps—not becoming an expert overnight.Financial planning is about creating peace of mind, not just growing wealth. Guest BioDonna Jean Kendrick is a **Certified Financial Planner® (CFP®), Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®), author, speaker, and host of the Widow Wisdom & Wealth Podcast. After losing her first husband unexpectedly, Donna dedicated her career to helping widows, divorced women, and blended families confidently navigate life's financial transitions. Through education, compassion, and practical tools, she empowers women to build financial clarity and long-term security. Resource LinksDonna Jean Kendrick Website: https://donnajeankendrick.com FREE 6-Week Financial Challenge Get your financial house in order in just six weeks. Each week, Donna sends a short video and simple action step to help you organize your finances and build confidence. https://donnajeankendrick.com/6-week-challenge/ Books by Donna Jean Kendrick The Divorce Money MapA Guide to WidowhoodA Guide to Blended Families Podcast Widow Wisdom & Wealth Podcast Connect with Lesa Koski Doing Divorce Different Podcast Tags/Keywordsfinancial planning for divorce, divorce finances, divorce financial planning, divorce money, women and money, financial empowerment for women, divorce coach, divorce mediation, certified financial planner, certified divorce financial analyst, financial confidence, women after divorce, widow financial planning, blended family finances, divorce money map, financial education, budgeting after divorce, divorce preparation, money mindset, divorce support, women over 40, life after divorce, divorce recovery, Doing Divorce Different podcast, Lesa Koski, Donna Jean Kendrick

Divorce recovery, anxiety, betrayal, emotional healing, and finding peace after divorce—if you've ever felt like your mind won't stop spinning, this episode is for you. Why do we replay conversations, obsess over the past, or constantly worry about the future after divorce or a painful life transition? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with therapist Brian Burns to explore why our minds "spin out" after divorce, betrayal, grief, cancer, and other unexpected life events. We discuss practical tools for calming anxious thoughts, letting go of what we cannot control, and finding peace even when life doesn't go as planned. As someone who has personally walked through breast cancer, difficult seasons in marriage, and years of helping women navigate divorce, this conversation deeply resonated with me. Brian shares simple but life-changing concepts that can help you stop carrying burdens that were never yours to carry. Whether you're considering divorce, healing after divorce, navigating betrayal, or simply feeling overwhelmed by life, this episode will remind you that peace doesn't come from controlling everything—it comes from learning where your responsibility begins and ends. If you've ever felt emotionally exhausted from trying to fix everyone around you, this conversation is for you. 🎙️ If this episode encourages you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need a little hope today. Timestamps(00:00) Why women "spin out" after divorce and difficult life events (03:15) Introducing therapist Brian Burns (07:42) Why our brains become trapped in anxiety and overthinking (13:28) Understanding what belongs to you—and what doesn't (20:05) The connection between betrayal, fear, and trying to control outcomes (27:46) Lesa shares her breast cancer journey and lessons about surrender (36:30) Faith, acceptance, and learning to live with uncertainty (45:18) Practical tools for calming your mind when you begin spinning (54:40) Finding peace in the middle of life's hardest seasons (1:02:10) Final encouragement and next steps Key TakeawaysTrying to control other people's choices often creates more anxiety than peace.Healing begins when we learn the difference between our responsibility and someone else's.Divorce, betrayal, illness, and grief can all trigger emotional "spinning," but there are healthy ways to interrupt that cycle.Faith, mindfulness, and healthy boundaries help us navigate uncertainty with greater peace.You don't have to have every answer today. Your next right step is enough. Guest BioBrian Burns is a licensed therapist, speaker, and educator who helps individuals and couples navigate anxiety, relationships, emotional healing, and personal growth. His practical approach combines clinical experience with compassionate insight, helping people understand why they become emotionally overwhelmed and how to move toward healthier patterns of thinking, communication, and peace.

AI and divorce, divorce mediation, divorce coaching, divorce options, collaborative divorce, and DIY divorce—this episode explores how artificial intelligence can help you navigate divorce while avoiding costly mistakes. Artificial intelligence is changing the way people gather information, organize documents, prepare for meetings, and communicate during divorce. But can AI actually help you make better divorce decisions? In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, Lesa Koski explores the benefits and limitations of using AI during divorce. You'll learn how AI can help you understand the divorce process, organize financial information, prepare for mediation, communicate more effectively, and explore your legal options. You'll also discover where AI falls short and why divorce still requires human wisdom, professional guidance, and thoughtful decision-making. Whether you're considering mediation, collaborative divorce, working with attorneys, or handling parts of your divorce yourself, this episode will help you understand how to use AI as a powerful tool without relying on it as your only source of support. Remember: AI can provide information, but it cannot replace wisdom, experience, or human connection. Timestamps(00:00) Introduction: Can AI Help You Through Divorce? (02:12) How AI Can Help You Understand Divorce (05:48) Using AI to Organize Financial Documents and Information (08:15) Preparing for Mediation, Coaching, and Attorney Meetings (11:10) How AI Can Improve Communication During Divorce (15:02) The Biggest Limitations of AI in Divorce (19:15) Why AI Can't Negotiate or Mediate for You (23:20) Understanding Your Divorce Options (24:05) DIY Divorce: When It May Work and When It Doesn't (27:18) The Benefits of Divorce Mediation (30:12) Working with Attorneys and Limited-Scope Legal Services (33:05) Collaborative Divorce Explained (35:50) When Litigation May Be Necessary (39:12) The Best Ways to Use AI During Divorce (42:08) Final Thoughts: Information vs. Wisdom Key Takeaways• AI is an excellent tool for education, organization, brainstorming, and preparation during divorce. • AI can help you communicate more effectively but cannot replace real conversations, negotiation, or mediation. • Divorce laws vary by state, and AI-generated legal information should always be verified. • Mediation, collaborative divorce, and attorney support each serve different needs depending on your situation. • The best outcomes happen when you combine technology with experienced human guidance. Resources Mentioned• Divorce Roadmap • Divorce Clarity Session • Divorce Comeback Community • Minnesota DIY Divorce Course • Divorce Mediation Services with Lesa Koski Connect with Lesa: Website: www.lesakoski.com Tags/KeywordsAI and divorce, artificial intelligence divorce, divorce mediation, divorce coaching, divorce help, divorce process, collaborative divorce, mediation vs attorney, divorce options, Minnesota divorce, DIY divorce, child custody, divorce support, women over 40 divorce, divorce planning, divorce recovery, divorce education, divorce communication, family law, divorce advice