Advertise on podcast: 20 THINGS ADOPTION PODCAST with Sherrie Eldridge

Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail Mother's Day is such a difficult day for everyone in the adoption triad. Adoptees, adoptive mothers, birth mothers, stepmothers, all kinds of mothers. It's a difficult day. And we're going to talk about this this morning. Today, Pam Kroske, my sidekick, and I are going to be doing a lot more podcasts. I apologize that It's taken us a while to get back to you, but thank you for following us on the last one. But Pam, Pam, tell us a little bit about you and how difficult you perceive this day to be. You say it so well. Well, I say it well. But, you know, having... Pam (00:49.72) What? Well, I don't know if I say it well. But you know, having two moms, I think, is always difficult. One of my moms isn't here anymore. She passed away from breast cancer, and it was way too soon. And then. Sherrie Eldridge (01:00.301) To moms, I think it's always difficult. One of my moms isn't here anymore. She passed away from breast cancer, and it was way too soon. And then my adoptive mother has dementia. So that's difficult. Very difficult. Yeah, yeah. So I think it's always been terrible, no matter what. Pam (01:19.694) My adoptive mother has dementia. So that's difficult. So yeah, yeah. So I think it's always been a struggle, no matter what. And trying to get both of them into my life all this time has been difficult. Sherrie Eldridge (01:38.477) And trying to get both of them to come into my life all this time has been difficult. Yes. So they always try to find warm memories, even if they're not with you. You try to find a warm memory? Is that what you said? Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. I think you try to find that good space. Yeah, that safe space. Well, yeah. Pam (01:44.973) So, you know, always try to find them even if they're not with you. Pam (01:54.314) Yeah, yeah, I think you try to find that good space. Pam (02:01.399) Yeah. Sherrie Eldridge (02:02.666) You know, what may adoptive moms experience? I've got pushback, rejection, and abandonment. Some of them, your kids won't even talk to you. They've just said, you know, I forgot you, you're out of my life. Yeah, rejection. What would be some examples of rejection? Pam (02:29.453) Well, you mean from... I mean... Sherrie Eldridge (02:29.728) Well, the meaning for any age adoptee can be. When we go searching, we don't always find what we want. Yeah. Mean, that part of our lives can be so difficult. I mean, we don't find every warm space we want. And it's Pam (02:36.813) Yeah, I mean, when we go searching, we don't always find what we want. I mean, that part of our lives can be so difficult. I mean, we don't find every warm space we want. It can be so difficult. And then we sit with that rejection. And then our adopted Sherrie Eldridge (02:57.9) It can be a service. And then we sit with that rejection. And then our adoptive moms aren't always, you know, good with that sourcing we did. So they have a little bit of rejection. And they're upset with us for that. So I don't know, like, it's almost like a hardness feeling. Pam (03:05.153) Moms aren't always good with that sourcing we did. So they have a bit of rejection, and they're upset with guys about it. So there's this, I don't know, like it's almost like a hardness feeling, and we all hurt. Yeah. Sherrie Eldridge (03:28.086) And we all hurt. Yeah. And so those three things, pushback, rejection, abandonment, we all have them, right? We've all got it. Yeah, and yet in the midst of all that, for an adoptee, I must say that, like you mentioned, reunion and, you know, searching and everything, I still find it. Pam (03:38.442) Yeah. yeah. Yeah. Pam (03:54.635) Right. Sherrie Eldridge (03:56.705) Very helpful to look back on my search because I found some very cool things, like, you know, I found out who the granddaughter of the doctor who delivered me was. All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we sit down with Virginia Wells—author, licensed social worker, and adoptive mom—to explore the intersection of faith, adoption, and healing. Virginia shares wisdom from her powerful book Praying for a Wounded Child, offering real-life encouragement and deeply spiritual insights for parents navigating trauma, loss, and complex family journeys. Through personal stories, scriptural guidance, and practical tools like journaling and prayer, Virginia invites us to embrace God's presence in our brokenness and to discover healing for both ourselves and the children we love. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or simply someone longing for hope, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways Purpose Revealed Through Play: Pay attention to what feels natural and joyful—this can reveal God's calling.God Is Enough: In pain and confusion, God's presence is steady, even when we can’t feel it.Prayer Doesn't Have to Be Perfect: Honest, simple prayers matter. Use Psalms or prayer books if you're stuck.Journaling Heals: Writing or drawing helps release emotions and clarify thoughts—for both adults and kids.Adoption Brings Complex Emotions: Kinship and trauma-related adoption require deep compassion and understanding.Gratitude Changes Perspective: Practicing thankfulness, even in crisis, brings peace and hope.Lean on Community: When you can't pray, reach out—prayer lines and supportive friends can carry you.Honesty Welcomes Healing: God values raw, real prayers over polished ones—He meets us in our truth.A Needed Resource: Virginia’s book fills a gap with faith-based prayers for parents of children from hard places.All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail In this heartfelt episode, adoption author Sherrie Eldridge shares deeply personal insights and practical advice for adoptive and foster parents seeking to connect with their children truly. Drawing from her book 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed, Sherrie explores how well-intentioned words can be misinterpreted by adopted children—and offers better ways to communicate that honor both the child and their birth family. From reframing statements like “You were chosen” to understanding the primal wound of adoption, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to build stronger, more empathetic relationships within adoptive families. ✅ Key Takeaways: Abandonment is primal: Adopted and foster children often carry deep feelings of abandonment, no matter how young they were at the time of placement.Well-intentioned words can hurt: Phrases like “You were chosen” or “Your birth mom loved you so much she gave you away” may be misunderstood and cause emotional pain.Honor both families: Speaking respectfully about birth parents helps build a child’s sense of identity and self-worth.Speak the heart language: Use empathetic, shame-reducing language that acknowledges both the joy and grief of adoption.Create safety through honesty: Children who feel emotionally safe are more likely to open up about complicated feelings.🔗 Related Links: 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed by Sherrie Eldridge View on AmazonForever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children View on AmazonLittle Branch Gets Adopted View on AmazonSherrie Eldridge’s Adoption Blog  https://sherrieeldridgeadoption.bloghttps://familytofamilynetwork.org All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail On this episode, we sit down with Emma Fulenwider—author, literary agent, TEDx speaker, and mother navigating the complexities of modern parenting—to explore what it truly means to belong in a world full of pressure, perfectionism, and plastic toys. Emma shares her personal journey from being an "odd kid" who learned to mimic others to fit in, to rediscovering herself in her thirties by embracing authenticity. She opens up about the quiet crisis many moms face today: the loss of mentorship, the overwhelming culture of parenting schools of thought, and the isolating experience of raising kids in a world ruled by algorithms and Amazon wishlists. Most compellingly, Emma discusses her controversial but life-giving decision to remove almost all toys from her home—a move that not only reset her children’s creativity and well-being but also brought her own mental health back into balance. It's a bold conversation about motherhood, minimalism, and meaning in the digital age. Whether you're a parent, a writer, or just someone trying to find your place in the chaos, this episode offers both challenge and comfort. Key Takeaways: Authenticity Beats Assimilation Emma's journey reveals the cost of muting your uniqueness to fit in. After years of trying to be "normal," she found freedom in embracing who she truly is—and encourages others to do the same.Belonging Isn’t Sameness Real belonging, Emma says, comes not from being like everyone else but from being accepted as yourself. It's a powerful distinction for moms navigating identity, expectations, and community.Modern Motherhood Is Isolated Many mothers today lack real-time mentorship. Generational shifts, geographic distance, and career demands have disrupted the chain of caregiving wisdom that once passed naturally between women.Parenting Has Become Academic and Divisive From sleep training to screen time, today’s moms often choose parenting "schools of thought" and defend them like ideologies. This has made parenting feel more competitive and isolating than collaborative.Toys Aren’t Always Tools Emma’s decision to remove most toys from her home wasn’t just about clutter—it was about reclaiming creativity, space, and calm. The result? Better play, better sleep, better family dynamics. Kids Don't Need More Stuff—They Need More Space to Imagine With fewer distractions, children often become more independent, creative, and emotionally regulated. Emma’s own kids began playing deeper, longer, and more imaginatively without excess toys.Moms Need Support—Not Just More Advice From a “Target pit stop” fantasy to real talk about mental overload, Emma emphasizes that exhausted moms don't need another task. They need presence, compassion, and permission to rest.Instincts Are Learned Through Mentorship Emma challenges the myth of “mother’s instinct,” arguing that it’s not innate but built through experience and modeling—something many moms today are forced to do alone or via Google.Gift-Giving Can Be Reimagined Her work on gift guides and intentional consumption encourages parents to rethink the culture of materialism and choose gifts that are useful, creative, or consumable—rather than defaulting to toys.Storytelling Is Legacy Work Emma’s TED Talk and publishing work underscore the importance of preserving life stories—not just for reflection, but for generational wisdom. In a world with fewer shared dinners, writing becomes remembrance.https://www.wordserveliterary.com https://patreon.com/toyfree https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B09KVM4G5Q All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail In this deeply moving episode, Sherrie Eldridge welcomes Amy Vantine, a mother, educator, and co-founder of RAD Advocates, to share her harrowing and inspiring journey of parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). From her early dreams of motherhood to the trauma, confusion, and eventual heartbreak of dissolving an adoption, Amy opens up about the realities few talk about—and the healing mission she’s now embraced to support other families walking a similar path. Key Takeaways: Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Is Often Misunderstood: Children with RAD may appear well-behaved in public or clinical settings but exhibit severe behavioral challenges at home, leading to parental confusion and blame.Love Alone Isn’t Always Enough: Amy shared that her nurturing and affection, while well-intentioned, often triggered her daughter’s trauma response instead of helping, highlighting the unique complexities of RAD.Caregivers Are Frequently Unsupported—and Blamed: Many parents of children with RAD are dismissed or seen as the problem by professionals, intensifying their isolation and mental health strain.Parenting Children with RAD Can Severely Impact the Entire Family: Amy candidly described the toll on her marriage, her other children, and her own mental health, including PTSD, due to constant hypervigilance and emotional trauma.There’s No One-Size-Fits-All Therapy: Despite trying every recommended therapy and intervention, Amy found that conventional approaches failed, often making things worse rather than better.RAD Advocates Was Born Out of Necessity: Amy co-founded RAD Advocates to fill a critical gap, offering tailored support to families, educating professionals, and advocating for systemic change.It’s Okay to Make Hard Decisions: Ultimately, Amy made the painful decision to dissolve the adoption to protect her daughter, her family, and herself—a choice many struggle to understand or talk about.Empowering Parents Is Key to Helping Children: RAD Advocates focuses on parent well-being first, believing that healthy, informed caregivers are the foundation for better outcomes.All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Sherrie invites Tova J. Kreps, licensed social worker and co-founder of Wellspring Counseling, to discuss the complexities of adoption, trauma recovery, and the power of faith in navigating these challenges. Tova shares her inspiring journey, shaped by her upbringing in a missionary family, her personal experience with adoption, and her decades of professional work helping families navigate the complexities of trauma and mental health. Together, they explore the unique challenges adoptive parents face, the importance of setting healthy boundaries, and the profound need for self-care and support in times of crisis. Tova offers invaluable wisdom on reframing expectations for adoptive families, emphasizing the shift from seeking perfect outcomes to staying faithful and loving amidst the difficulties. She also highlights the transformative power of professional guidance and community connection, as well as the resources available through Wellspring Counseling for trauma recovery and resilience. This episode is a compassionate guide for adoptive families, foster parents, and anyone seeking to understand the intersection of faith, trauma, and healing. Whether you're an adoptive parent, someone touched by adoption, or a supporter of these journeys, this episode provides hope, encouragement, and practical tools to navigate life’s toughest challenges. Key Takeaways: The Impact of Adoption on Families: Tova shares her personal story of adoption and how it shaped her life and career in social work.Trauma and Resilience: Practical insights into trauma recovery for both children and parents, including her innovative "Circle of Truth" model.The Role of Boundaries: Why boundaries are crucial for creating security in adoptive families.Reframing Success: Moving from outcome-focused parenting to faithfulness-focused parenting.The Importance of Support: Encouragement to seek professional help and connect with communities that understand adoption and trauma challenges.Self-Care for Parents: Why self-care is essential for maintaining emotional resilience and providing consistent love and guidance.Wellspring Counseling Resources: An overview of Wellspring’s trauma recovery programs and opportunities for fast-track family therapy.All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail In this heartfelt and transformative episode, Sherrie Eldridge sits down with esteemed guest Brian Post, a renowned adoption and child behavior expert. Brian, an adoptee and former foster child, shares his compelling life story—from his early experiences in foster care to reuniting with his birth mother decades later. His journey underscores the resilience, trauma, and profound emotional growth that many adoptees experience. Brian discusses the power of love as a healing force, the critical importance of self-awareness, and the hard truths about the foster and adoption systems. He reveals how stress inhibits secure attachment and how we must confront our deepest pains to foster genuine healing. Sherry and Brian also touch on the complexities of anger within the adoption community, the challenges faced by foster parents, and the impact of "rehoming" on children. This episode provides invaluable insights for adoptees, adoptive and foster parents, and professionals in the field, highlighting the necessity of facing trauma head-on and the importance of creating safe, supportive environments for children. Join us for a candid and inspiring conversation that embraces vulnerability, resilience, and the path from fear to unconditional love. All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail In this conversation, Sherrie Eldridge interviews Virginia Wells, an adoptive mom and author, about her experiences and insights. They discuss the challenges of adoptive parenting, the importance of preparation and realistic expectations, and the power of prayer. Virginia shares her own journey as an adoptive mom and offers advice for prospective adoptive parents. She also talks about her upcoming book, which covers topics such as grief, identity, and self-care in the context of adoption. Overall, the conversation highlights the need for support, understanding, and a compassionate approach to adoption. All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail Jocelyn Williams, a developmental movement consultant, discusses the importance of movement-based solutions for infant and child development. She emphasizes the significance of the first year of life in building the foundation of neurology and explains how movement patterns and sensory experiences contribute to brain development. Williams shares her personal experience of adopting children and the challenges they faced, including attachment issues and learning difficulties. She highlights the role of neurodevelopmental movement in addressing these challenges and promoting healing. Williams also encourages parents to prioritize self-care and forgiveness as they navigate the journey of parenting children with trauma backgrounds. All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge

Send us Fan Mail Dafna Lender, LCSW, is a Licensed Social Worker and Certified Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapist. Experts such as Besssel van der Koklk applaud her work. When Sherrie Eldridge asks her about the term "Reactive Attachment Disorder," quite the conversation occurred.  Sherrie shared her story of how she has recovered from this, and Dafna taught in depth how and why the term is outdated and what adoptive moms need to understand about parenting a child that has come from severe trauma. Key points from the podcast: 1. Correct and current diagnostic term for children who have suffered extreme pre-adoption trauma. 2. What healed Sherrie's traumatized brain, body, and soul. 3. Current brain researchers that can be trusted. All Rights Reserved. 2026.  @sherrieeldridge