Advertise on podcast: Love Yourself Thin Podcast

If you've ever reached for food when you're stressed and then immediately judged yourself for it, this episode is for you. Stress eating isn't a willpower problem—it's a nervous system response. Your brain is actually doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you. In this episode, you'll discover what stress actually does inside your body, why "I'll start fresh Monday" advice completely misses the mark, and the 5-step protocol that will help you close the mental and emotional loops that drain your energy and keep you stuck in overwhelm. What You'll Learn: Why your brain scans for danger 5x more than it looks for safety (and what this has to do with stress eating) The role of cortisol in triggering cravings for quick energy—salty, sugary, and fatty foods Why modern stress (deadlines, family conflict, financial worry) doesn't go away after you eat The "car analogy": You don't need to know how to fix your brain, but you do need to understand how it works The 5-step protocol for closing thought loops and creating permanent change: Accept/Acknowledge Ask Action Assess Acclimatize   Resources Mentioned: Emotional Eating Mini-Class - Learn how to handle emotional eating 24/7, 12 months of the year. This revamped class includes office hours where you can get personalized support. Join the free masterclass and learn more - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/free-emotional-eating-masterclass  Connect with Dara: Website:  https://daratomasson.com Instagram: @dara_tomasson Join Dara live for her next training! -  https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/upcoming-classes-and-events   Watch this episode and more on YouTube - https://youtu.be/x23lLj3rKIs   

We're ending January with the four words that can change your relationship with food, your body, and yourself forever. In this episode, you're going to learn: Why "This will not stand" and "I will not give up" keep you locked in battle The clinic lobby story and why "calm down" never works — on anyone The real difference between addressing actions vs. needs The moment a therapist flipped the switch with one question How acknowledging emotions creates instant empathy and relief Why force creates resistance — and how it turns you into your own enemy The four most powerful words: "What do I need?" How to use this question to meet fundamental needs directly Why Connie Rice's work proves you cannot legislate behavior change How compassion turns enemies (even inner ones) into allies Key Takeaway: The next time you're face-to-face with cravings, resistance, or old patterns, don't attack yourself. Instead ask: "What do I need?" Those four words are where permanent weight loss truly begins. Inside Love Yourself Thin, you'll learn to meet your needs, calm your brain, and build a life you love. This is where your repair, renewal, and long-term freedom begins — no matter your age, your history, or how long you've struggled. I've done this myself, and I've helped hundreds of women do the same. You deserve that freedom too. Learn more: https://daratomasson.com  Catch more of Dara's free trainings, sign up here: https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/upcoming-classes-and-events    Watch this episode (and more!) on YouTube - https://youtu.be/2ptWyMgnyq4   

Three weeks into January — this is the perfect moment to ask: Why do you want to lose weight? Your answer determines everything. In this episode, you'll discover: ✔️Why your past "failures" don't diminish your worthiness ✔️The life-changing difference between "needing" to lose weight vs. "wanting" to ✔️Self-esteem vs. self-compassion — and why one abandons you when you fail ✔️How self-esteem traps you in conditional worth ✔️How self-compassion creates solid, stable self-worth that shows up when you need it most ✔️Why compassion is collaboration, not domination or punishment ✔️How new solutions appear when you stop trying to earn your value ✨The truth: you never had to earn the right to care for yourself   Key Takeaway: Your worth was decided long before your weight ever changed. You matter now. And from that place, you're allowed to want more for yourself. Inside Love Yourself Thin, you'll learn how permanent weight loss comes from caring for yourself — not proving yourself. Learn more: https://daratomasson.com Get the free Perfectionist Recovery Program Course Here - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/opt-in-perfectionist-recovery-mini-course Follow Dara on Instagram @dara_tomasson

Mid-January is when most women feel the inner critic ramp up. If you're feeling the pressure, the comparison, the self-judgment — this episode will set you free. You're about to learn: My personal story of losing 50 pounds by becoming my own ally Why fighting with yourself guarantees that everyone loses Kristin Neff's research on the brutal things we say to ourselves The Connie Rice story: 20 years of lawsuits vs. one compassionate question Why you cannot legislate behavior change — in yourself or anyone else How compassion led to a 70% drop in homicides in Watts The critical mindset shift from "What's wrong with me?" to "What do I need?" How collaboration with yourself unlocks solutions you couldn't see before Key Takeaway: Compassion isn't weakness — compassion is power. When you stop being your own enemy, everything gets easier. Ready to stop the internal war? Inside Love Yourself Thin, you get lifetime access to tools that transform you from critic to collaborator so change finally sticks. Learn more: https://daratomasson.com   Take my self-assessment quiz to find out what subconscious food thoughts are holding you back from your weight loss goals - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/self-assessment-uncovering-subconscious-food-beliefs   Follow me on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dara_tomasson  Watch this episode (and more!) on my YouTube channel - https://youtu.be/7lbAPfmnWJg   

One week into the new year and you've probably been bombarded with diet ads. But here's the truth no one says out loud: The food isn't the problem. In this episode, you'll discover: Why weight loss is a symptom — not the root problem The client story that exposes what's actually driving overeating The "gunman story" that explains why unmet needs escalate everything The four fundamental human needs your overeating may be trying to meet Why diets fail: you accidentally become your own enemy The bullseye model: separating actions from needs How to skip behavior battles and go straight to the underlying need The magical, life-changing question: "What do I need right now?" Key Takeaway: When your real needs are met — safety, comfort, connection, control — the urge to overeat dissolves. Watch Stephen Trzeciak's TED Talk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elW69hyPUuI  Stop treating symptoms. Start solving the real problem. Inside Love Yourself Thin, you'll learn how your brain, emotions, and body actually work together so permanent transformation feels possible… and peaceful. Learn more: https://daratomasson.com    Watch this episode, and more, on Dara's YouTube channel - https://youtu.be/7lbAPfmnWJg  Follow Dara on Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/dara_tomasson   

Happy New Year! If you're starting January thinking, "Why does this feel exactly like last year?" — this episode will change how you see yourself forever. Inside this episode, you'll learn: Why you don't have a knowledge problem — you have a thinking problem The neuroscience behind follow-through (hint: it's not about willpower) How your reptilian brain's threat-defense system quietly sabotages you How self-criticism triggers cortisol and shuts down motivation How to activate the mammalian caregiving system so change feels easier A powerful father/son example that proves compassion fuels real progress The pivotal shift from "What should I do?" to "What do I need?" Watch Kristen Neff's Ted Talk Key Takeaway: When you meet your needs with compassion instead of criticism, action stops feeling like a battle — and starts feeling natural. If you're done blaming yourself and ready to finally understand why you struggle with follow-through, come join me in Love Yourself Thin. This is where the "great dilemma" finally ends. You get lifetime access to the tools that help you understand your brain, meet your needs, and create permanent weight loss without force, shame, or burnout. Kickstart your weight loss this January with my new course! Details here - Permanent Weight Loss from the Inside Out Grab my new freebie to help you understand why you can't lose weight - Uncovering Subconscious Food Beliefs Watch this episode on YOUTUBE  

The black girdle hanging in your closet. The jeans you promise yourself you'll wear "this Christmas." The drive to your family's house wearing shapewear so tight you can't breathe, feeling ashamed the entire night because you're not "good enough" to wear those jeans. If this story sounds painfully familiar, this special Christmas episode is my gift to you—because you deserve to stop hiding behind Spanx and start actually enjoying your life. After struggling with my weight since my early twenties, I finally cracked the code of permanent weight loss in a way I never expected. On my 52nd birthday, I tried on my wedding dress and weighed 12 pounds less than on my wedding day. I also fit into the bridesmaid dress I wore at 16. But here's what nobody tells you: weight loss isn't the goal. Weight gain is a symptom of unaddressed emotional issues. Until you dig into the real patterns—the loneliness that makes you reach for baked goods, the fear of being kicked out of the tribe if you don't eat chocolate with your coffee group, the perfectionism that keeps you paralyzed—no app or diet will ever work long-term. This week, I'm sharing the most vulnerable stories from my Conquer Emotional Eating class: the retired woman who's "really good all day" but needs that cookie every night (spoiler: it's not about the cookie), the coffee group that bonds over complaining about weight while eating chocolate (what happens if you break the pattern?), and the perfectionist who couldn't start her workbook because she was afraid to use pen instead of pencil. Plus, I'm getting deeply honest about my own Christmas Eve girdle story—the shame, the uncomfortable drive, the shadow of "not good enough" that ruined what should have been joyful family time.   My Christmas gift to you: Stop wasting time on Pinterest boards and apps. Join my January course (starts January 9th) where I teach the same content I'm doing inside my Love Yourself Thin lifetime membership program—how to make goals out of love, not shame in a condensced way. Get all the details HERE. Or join the lifetime program itself and pay once for life. Your worth has nothing to do with your pants size. Let's prove it together. Join HERE.   Want to see Dara's girdle 😅 Watch this episode on YouTube! Follow Dara on social media @dara_tomasson

You know exactly what you should eat. You know you need eight hours of sleep. You know you should move your body. Yet here you are at 10 PM with a pint of ice cream, wondering why you can follow through on work deadlines and family responsibilities but can't stick to your own health goals. The disconnect isn't about willpower—it's about how you talk to yourself when things don't go according to plan. This week, I'm breaking down how to have actual peace during the holidays with your weight loss goals—not the fake "I'll start in January" peace that's really just procrastination wrapped in holiday lights. You'll discover why your approach to failure determines everything about whether you'll succeed, how the same encouragement you'd give a five-year-old learning to tie shoes is exactly what you need to give yourself, and why your battlefield-like inner self-talk is the real reason you sabotage your own goals. I'll share Brené Brown's marble jar concept and how I adapted it for building self-trust with urges, plus my own vulnerable story about catching myself in diet mentality last Friday even after years of doing this work. Tune in as I walk you through the three pillars of peaceful goal-setting: making goals with possibility instead of fear, understanding the real science of how your brain and body connect, and implementing practical strategies that actually create change. You'll learn why 99% of diets fail (and why beating yourself up guarantees you'll be part of that statistic), discover the power of accountability partnerships inside my program, and understand why all the Pinterest boards and saved recipes in the world won't create permanent change without addressing your unique baggage. Ready to stop saying "I'll start in January" and actually mean it? My January course starting January 9th teaches you how to make goals without the failure spiral, or join my lifetime membership program for ongoing support and accountability. Details are HERE! What You'll Learn in this Episode: How your experience with failure shapes your ability to make goals The five-year-old shoe-tying analogy: when did you stop letting yourself learn? Why your inner dialogue sounds like screaming at a child (and how to stop) The connection between Christmas anticipation and post-holiday letdown How negative self-talk creates procrastination, people-pleasing, and perfectionism Brené Brown's marble jar concept adapted for building self-trust with urges Why feelings only come from thoughts (even when circumstances feel urgent) Peace-building thoughts: "I can do hard things" and "I haven't figured this out yet" Dara's vulnerable Friday story: catching diet mentality after years of coaching Why 99% of diets fail and how to be in the 1% The power of accountability partners and real-time coaching Why Pinterest boards and saved recipes won't create permanent change How program connections help women through devastating losses   Stay in touch! January goal-setting course (starts January 9th) - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/permanent-weight-loss-course  Love Yourself Thin lifetime membership -  https://daratomasson.com  Email us your questions - [email protected] Watch this episode (and more!) on YouTube Follow me on Instagram - @dara_tomasson  

You can quit alcohol. You can quit drugs. You can delete the apps and walk away. But you can't quit food—which is exactly why weight loss feels so impossibly hard. You need to eat multiple times a day, every single day, for the rest of your life. So how do you navigate holiday eating without gaining weight or feeling deprived when "just don't eat it" isn't an option? This week, I'm tackling the biggest misconception about food and addiction. Unlike substances you can eliminate completely, food requires a completely different strategy because you can't go cold turkey. You'll discover why your "it's go time" thoughts during the holidays trigger cortisol that makes you crave carbs, why 95% of your subconscious thoughts are sabotaging your best intentions, and how to redirect yourself when you can't just walk away from food forever. I'll share my German chocolate cake story—how I enjoyed my favorite birthday cake all week without guilt by planning 24 hours in advance, proving you can have your cake and lose weight too. Tune in as I break down the five pillars to permanent weight loss (spoiler: it starts with understanding simple hormone science), reveal why sneaking food feels thrilling at first but destroys self-trust long-term, and explain the Santa's elves analogy that shows exactly what happens when you overload your body with flour and sugar. You'll learn why flour and sugar need a six-week break, how to become the traffic controller of your own holidays, and the critical difference between numbing negative thoughts with food versus actually feeling your feelings. Ready to stop making false promises about January? My January course starting January 9th teaches you how to actually keep resolutions instead of breaking them by February. Details are HERE  What You'll Learn in this Episode: ✔️Why you can't go cold turkey with food (and what to do instead) ✔️How "it's go time" thoughts trigger cortisol and carb cravings ✔️Why 95% of your thoughts are subconscious and sabotaging you ✔️The traffic controller strategy: taking charge of your own holidays ✔️Why we turn to certain foods (numbing, stress, avoiding feelings) ✔️The six-week flour and sugar break strategy (and why it works) ✔️How to plan food 24 hours in advance and enjoy it guilt-free ✔️The German chocolate cake story: birthday cake all week without guilt ✔️Why sneaking food is like having an affair (thrilling but destructive) ✔️The Santa's elves analogy: what happens when you overload your body ✔️Five pillars to permanent weight loss (weight loss science, your eating plan, feeling feelings, taking responsibility, building confidence) ✔️How to stop blaming others and take your power back   For more support, jump into Dara's program where you will get weekly coaching calls and encouragements from her. Details HERE  If you haven't checked out Dara's free masterclass to help you create your peaceful, productive Christmas, get in on it HERE 

The picture of your grandmother holding your baby. The lifesaver candies that remind you of Grandpa. The empty chair at Christmas dinner. The holidays magnify grief in ways that send you straight to the kitchen at midnight, eating to fill a void that food can never actually fill. If you've lost someone close to you and the holidays feel impossible—caught between wanting to honor happy memories while drowning in sadness—you're navigating something most people won't talk about. We've been conditioned like Pavlov's dogs to associate food with love, celebration, and connection. When someone dies, especially around the holidays, those associations become a tangled mess that feels impossible to unravel without abandoning the memories altogether. This week, I'm breaking down what's really happening when grief and food become intertwined during the holidays. You'll discover why your brain defaults to emotional eating when you miss someone (hint: it's pure conditioning, not a character flaw), learn the difference between honoring someone's memory and using food to avoid feeling sad, and hear practical examples of how real families have transformed grief into meaningful traditions that don't require eating your feelings. I'll share the "Mike and Hazel Bowie" story from my own family and how one client processes her father's passing through daddy-daughter photo time instead of emotional eating. Ready to stop letting grief sabotage your health goals? Join my Conquer Emotional Eating class where you'll get real tools to navigate the holidays without using food to fill emotional voids. Check it out HERE Plus, my January class on making goals without beating yourself up starts January 9th—because this year can actually be different. Details are HERE What You'll Learn in this Episode: 🎄Why food and family memories are enmeshed (and how to separate them) 🎄The Pavlov's dog effect: how we've been conditioned to associate food with love and celebration 🎄How to feel sadness appropriately without being afraid of the emotion 🎄The critical question: What do you actually miss about that person? (This reveals how to fill the void) 🎄Why filling emotional voids with food leads to devastating health consequences 🎄Real examples of honoring loved ones through meaningful traditions (not food) 🎄The "Mike and Hazel Bowie" golf and bowling tradition that keeps memories alive 🎄How one 65-year-old client handled job loss and hip replacement surgery completely differently than four years ago 🎄Why taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's the legacy you're creating   If you are ready to take the next step in creating the life you want with Dara's help, join her lifetime membership program, Love Yourself Thin. Because loving yourself is the first step to lasting change. Details are HERE Follow Dara on Instagram @dara_tomasson

The holidays arrive with the best intentions. You have a vision—homemade gifts, a beautifully decorated home, healthy eating habits maintained through January. Then your husband loses his job. You're told you need a new hip. The test results come back concerning. And suddenly it's 10 PM and you're eating ice cream straight from the container, wondering why you can't just stick to the plan like everyone else seems to. This week, I'm breaking down why the holidays create the perfect storm for emotional eating, overspending, and complete overwhelm. But here's the twist: generic "holiday stress hacks" won't solve your problem because you don't know YOUR unique trigger pattern. Most women are following someone else's playbook instead of understanding what actually sends them into the kitchen at 3 PM or keeps them scrolling Pinterest until midnight. Tune in as I walk you through identifying your personal coping strategies when life throws curveballs (because it will), introduce the game-changing concept of "bare minimum Christmas," and share how one of my clients catered an entire guild party—two days of cooking and serving—without stressing once. You'll discover why the highs and lows of your holiday experience reveal everything about your emotional regulation, and learn the exact framework for building resiliency so December doesn't derail you every single year. Want to cut your emotional eating in half this holiday season? Join my Conquer Holiday and Emotional Eating class starting now. You'll get all the modules, office hours to ask questions, and lifetime access for two years. Real tools, real help, real transformation—one Christmas cookie at a time. Check it out here - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/emotional-eating-course What You'll Learn in this Episode: 🎄Why the holidays are a perfect storm for triggers (nostalgia, pressure to perform, family dynamics, and lack of self-trust) 🎄The "straight line vs. reality" of holiday planning and why your highs and lows reveal your emotional regulation 🎄How to identify YOUR unique coping strategies when life doesn't go according to plan 🎄The "bare minimum Christmas" exercise that diffuses overwhelm immediately  🎄Why spreading your joy across 9 life categories (not just relationships or food) creates resilience 🎄How one client transformed from holiday stress to catering a guilt party without any anxiety 🎄The real reason you can't follow through on your plans (spoiler: it's not willpower)   If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow my YouTube channel for more. And keep up with me on Instagram @dara_tomasson   

Discover why the same thinking patterns that create relationship problems also drive emotional eating. Through the story of Tammy, a program member stuck in a cycle of resentment and people-pleasing, learn how to stop living in other people's imaginary thoughts and start expressing your own needs clearly and kindly.   What You'll Learn  ✔️The Resentment-Food Connection: Why unexpressed relationship frustration drives emotional eating ✔️Creating "Cases" Against People: How we decide what others think without asking them ✔️The Exhausting Cycle: Resentment → Rebellion → Guilt → People-pleasing → More resentment  ✔️Story vs. Reality: Why Tammy felt guilt about quilting but not about attending a funeral ✔️Breaking Free: Practical tools to distinguish your thoughts from others' thoughts   Key Teaching Points  1. Same Patterns, Different Areas: The thinking that creates relationship problems also drives emotional eating - we create stories instead of dealing with reality. 2. Living in Others' Heads: When we try to manage others' feelings and predict their reactions, we lose access to our own wisdom. 3. The Lawyer Analogy: We create "cases" against people, spending all our mental energy looking for evidence to support our predetermined story. 4. You're Not Responsible for Others' Emotions: Your job is to express your needs kindly and clearly, not to manage how others respond.   Remember: You're not responsible for managing other's emotions. Their reaction is information about their ability to self-soothe, stay in your own emotional lane while being loving and kind!   For more support on this, join my membership where you will get the tools you need to break your cycle of feeling obligated to please everyone around you at the expense of yourself! - https://daratomasson.com Also, if you are interested in learning why you keep purchasing fabric (don't worry you aren't alone!) get this free course - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/why-you-keep-buying-fabric Connect with Dara on Instagram - @dara_tomasson

Discover the fascinating science behind gratitude and how it can literally change your brain chemistry to help you make better food choices. In this episode, Dara explores research from Harvard, UCLA, and other major universities showing how gratitude releases the same feel-good chemicals as comfort food - without the calories.   Key Takeaways 🔑Willpower is Limited: Like a cell phone battery, willpower depletes throughout the day 🔑Gratitude Replenishes: Shifts you from depletion to abundance state Three Before Three: Practice gratitude 3 times daily before eating 🔑Savoring Matters: Notice and appreciate good moments as they happen 🔑Foundation Change: You're not just changing one behavior, but the foundation all behaviors spring from   Try This Week The "Three Before Three" Practice: Three times a day, before you eat anything, take 30 seconds to think of three things you're genuinely grateful for. They can be tiny things:  That you have food That you have taste buds to enjoy it That you have people to share it with (or peace to enjoy alone)  That you have electricity, a house, warmth   Get on the waitlist for the Black Friday Offer - Cut Your Emotional Eating in Half. Hurry, spots will fill up fast! - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/emotional-eating-course Ready to join the lifetime membership with exclusive coaching access with Dara? Check it out here - www.daratomasson.com Follow Dara on IG and Pinterest for more: Instagram: @dara_tomasson Pinterest: https://pin.it/6DkwKmfTp

Feeling that familiar knot in your stomach about Thanksgiving dinner (or any upcoming event)? Not just about family dynamics, but about the actual food? This episode gives you practical tools to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner without the emotional food hangover - the shame, regret, and "I can't believe I did it again" feeling that can last for days. Dara walks you through her proven 4-step process to prepare for any eating event from a place of self-compassion instead of self-control. Key Topics Covered 🗝️Why "Being Good" Before the Event Backfires 🗝️How restricting before dinner triggers scarcity mode in your brain 🗝️The "I've been good, now I can be bad" mentality trap 🗝️Why showing up hungry makes balanced eating nearly impossible   Practical Strategies Shared Before the Event:  Eat normally - don't try to "save" calories Remember: this is one meal, not your last meal   During the Event: Put food on a plate instead of grazing while standing  Check in with hunger and fullness during the meal Give yourself permission to enjoy foods you want AND skip foods you don't Have a plan for what to do with your hands during conversations   Connect with Dara Website: https://daratomasson.com Instagram: @dara_tomasson

Ever wonder why you keep buying fabric when you already have enough for three lifetimes? This isn't about budgeting or organizing your stash - it's about understanding what you're really shopping for. In this episode, Dara explores the emotional drivers behind fabric shopping and how the same patterns that create overflowing fabric stashes also drive emotional eating and other distracting behaviors. Key Topics Covered The Real Problem: Thinking, Not Knowledge Why you don't have a knowledge problem - you have a thinking problem How emotional distraction shows up as shopping, eating, scrolling, and staying busy The connection between fabric shopping and emotional eating patterns Four Emotions That Drive Fabric Shopping: ✔️Stress Relief - That gorgeous new collection feels like a promise of peace ✔️Excitement Management - Buying fabric feels like taking action on excitement ✔️Boredom/Emptiness - Shopping gives us something to focus on when feeling restless ✔️Connection Seeking - Buying what others have feels like joining the community Are you ready to dive deeper into this? Then get in on Dara's FREE Mini Course: 12 Mini Lessons on Why We Have So Much Extra Fabric  Special November offering: Emotional Eating Course - https://dara-tomasson-coaching.mykajabi.com/holiday-sprint Connect with Dara: Website: daratomasson.com Instagram: @dara_tomasson