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This episode discusses suicide, so please listen with care. If anything raises concerns for you or someone you love, in Australia contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467, or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, or call 000 if someone is in immediate danger. What if the child who says "I'm not coping" has actually been coping all along, and just needs someone to notice?  Kate Mason is joined by Dr Helen Stallman, a clinical psychologist, award-winning researcher, and mother.  Helen also created Care Collaborate Connect, a simple psychological first aid framework. She shares why our instinct to fix problems can shut down the very conversations our kids need, how naming emotions accurately gives children real power over them, and why everyone, no matter how overwhelmed, is coping.  Together they explore how to talk with children about big feelings, and even suicide, without fear.  This is a warm, practical roadmap for understanding your child, strengthening family relationships, and becoming the calm, caring person your child will want to talk to when it matters most. Listen for: 7:41 What is Care Collaborate Connect and why did Helen Stallman create it? 10:38 Why do we rush to fix problems instead of really listening? 15:10 What does it mean that everyone is coping, even when struggling? 27:15 How can parents help children name and understand their emotions? 34:54 How do you talk to your child about suicide before a crisis?   Guest Helen Stallman, Clinical psychologist | Founder Care Collaborate Connect Website | LinkedIn |Instagram | Facebook    Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

What if helping your anxious child avoid something today is quietly making it harder for them tomorrow?  Kate Mason sits down with Professor Vanessa Cobham, a clinical psychologist, University of Queensland professor, and one of the minds behind Fearless Triple P, a free program for parents of anxious children.  Drawing on years of research and clinical work in Brisbane's public Child and Youth Mental Health Service, Vanessa reframes anxiety as a normal, useful part of being human and explains how the anxiety avoidance trap keeps fear alive.  Together, Kate and Vanessa explore why understanding your child's anxiety matters more than removing it, how "fear ladders" turn overwhelming challenges into manageable steps, and the one simple question every parent can ask.  You'll leave with practical, hopeful parenting tools to help your child discover they can cope.   Listen for: 05:55 Does childhood anxiety come from genetics, temperament, or stressful experiences? 12:15 What is the anxiety avoidance trap and why do parents fall in? 13:21 What should parents do when their anxious child begs to skip a sleepover? 19:20 What is a fear ladder and how does Vanessa Cobham use one? 21:04 Is your child's anxiety a real warning or a faulty smoke alarm?   Guest Vanessa Cobham, PhD Clin Psych | Professor in Clinical Psychology, The University of Queensland Website | LinkedIn | University of Queensland | Email | Facebook | Instagram | YouTube    Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

What if feeling lost as a dad wasn't a sign of failure, but the first step toward becoming the father you truly want to be?  Kate Mason is joined by Jeff Hittner, leadership expert, executive coach, founder of Ambitious Dads, and devoted father of two boys.  After learning he could not become a biological father, Jeff discovered that changing his mindset about fatherhood meant we can change our minds about anything.  Today, he has interviewed more than 200 dads and uncovered six "dad gaps" that leave modern fathers without a roadmap.  Kate and Jeff explore shame, emotional regulation, co-parenting, and why fatherhood may be the best leadership lab there is.  This empowering conversation offers insight and practical hope for every parent seeking a deeper understanding of the dads in their family, and themselves.   Listen for: 4:11 How did infertility reshape what fatherhood means for Jeff Hittner? 7:47 What are the six dad gaps holding modern fathers back? 17:26 Why do so many dads feel shame about their parenting? 22:55 How can the hard moments of fatherhood make you a better leader? 34:46 Is there really such a thing as a naturally good dad?   Guest Jeff Hittner  Jeff Hittner Website | LinkedIn| Facebook | Instagram | Ambitious Dads| | Podcast | YouTube   Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

What if your child's most frustrating behavior wasn't defiance at all but their survival brain doing exactly what it was designed to do?  Kate Mason sits down with Mary Willow, founder of Plum Parenting, parent mentor, author, and educator with more than 35 years of experience supporting children and families.  With a remarkable background spanning nursing, midwifery, and early childhood education, Mary has helped thousands of parents across New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and the United Kingdom better understand what's really happening inside their child's developing brain.  Her new book, Breaking Through: How to Rescue Childhood and Heal the Parent-Child Relationship, introduces a transformative framework; the "true child" versus the "guard dog", that gives parents the language and insight to finally understand children's behavior at every stage.  This episode is a gift for every parent who has ever felt confused, exhausted, or like they're doing everything right and still missing something.   Listen for: 5:03 What made Mary Willow realize parents were missing something essential about child behavior? 10:13 What are the three stages every child moves through — and why do most parents not know about them? 28:21 Why do so many parents accidentally end up parenting the survival brain instead of the true child? 32:51 What is the "guard dog" brain and how does it hijack even the best parenting moments? 35:00 What is the one thing Mary wants every parent listening to take away and use today?   Guest Mary Willow  Website | Mary's Book| Facebook | Instagram   Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

What if the arguments in your relationship weren't signs of failure but invitations to finally understand yourself and the people you love most? Kate Mason sits down with Amy Armstrong, family resolution coach and founder of the Center for Family Resolution.  Amy's journey began not in a textbook, but on her bathroom floor… heartbroken, disconnected, and reaching for something she couldn't name.  That personal reckoning became the foundation for her powerful work helping individuals, couples, and families move from conflict to clarity.  Amy shares her transformative "pro-me, not anti-you" philosophy, the art of fighting well in front of your children, and how "care without carrying" can make you the kind of friend, partner, and parent everyone needs.  Whether you're navigating a difficult relationship, a co-parenting challenge, or simply want to understand those you love more deeply, this episode is a masterclass in connection.   Listen for: 1:53 How did Amy Armstrong's own heartbreak become the beginning of her life's work? 6:31 What does it really mean to go from being a peacemaker to a truth teller? 9:00 What is the "pro-me, not anti-you" approach and how does it change family conflict? 17:38 How do you disagree well in front of your children without damaging them? 24:13 What does it mean to "care without carrying" and how do parents use it today?   Guest Amy Armstrong, Conflict Resolution Specialist | Co-Founder |The Center for Family Resolution Website | LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok    Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

What if the photos and videos you lovingly share of your children online are entering a world you never imagined… and can't fully see?  Kate Mason sits down with Crystal Abidin; Malay-Australian professor of internet studies at Curtin University, anthropologist, and mother, to explore one of the most pressing and least understood challenges facing modern families.  Crystal's new book, Child Influencers: How Children Become Entangled with Social Media Fame, pulls back the curtain on the world of child influencers, from the mummy-blogging origins of the 1990s to the AI-doctored dangers of today.  Whether you've casually shared a birthday photo or are raising a child who dreams of going viral, this conversation offers vital insight, a global perspective, and the practical understanding every parent urgently needs.   Listen for: 4:50 Where did child influencers actually come from and how did it all begin? 9:27 How do East Asian countries approach children and social media so differently to Australia? 12:35 What is "sharenting" and how does everyday family sharing become a risk? 15:47 What gaps in the law leave child influencers unprotected when filming at home? 29:02 What is Crystal's most important advice for parents sharing their children online?   Guest: Crystal Abidin, Professor of Internet Studies, Curtin University; Anthropologist and Ethnographer of Internet Cultures Website | Publication | Instagram | Child Influencers   Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

This is an episode originally published in October 2023. It is one of my most popular. It’s so important for parents to have effective communication with their teenagers and using the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) can help.  Kate and guest Jeanine Mouchawar discuss how understanding your own and your teen's personality type can improve communication and reduce conflict.  Jeanine shares a five-step process for effective communication: calming oneself before a conversation, stating observations without judgement, getting curious about the teen's feelings, validating their feelings, and asking for their ideas to make better choices. Jeanine emphasizes the importance of removing the word "why" from conversations as it often puts the other person on the defensive.   Listen For: 10:30 Why parenting approaches differ for teens as opposed to younger children 18:24 Calming techniques (for calming down parents) 24:19 The importance of stating observations clearly 29:35 Avoiding the word “Why”   Guest: Jeanine Mouchawar, BA Stanford Instagram | Facebook | TikTok | Website | Free Classes   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

Have you ever forgotten something so obvious that all you could do was laugh and wondered whether your greatest frustrations might actually be the flip side of your greatest strengths?  Kate Mason flies solo and bravely opens the door to life inside her spontaneous, flexible, perceiving brain.  After 30 years of teaching personality, Kate shares her most memorable mistakes: leading the wrong child away at the zoo, concert tickets for the wrong day, and watching her cruise ship sail off without her, alongside the deeply moving story of navigating her mum's dementia and move into nursing home care.  Warm, funny, and unexpectedly tender, this episode is an empowering invitation to understand your own personality, embrace your blind spots, celebrate the organised people who carry you, and discover the joy of living your best life… your way.   Listen for: 2:21 What happens when a teacher accidentally leads the wrong child away at the zoo? 4:48 How can parents turn a plan gone wrong into the best surprise ever? 12:02 How did Kate navigate her mum's dementia and the move to nursing home care? 20:11 What did Kate learn when her river cruise ship sailed away without her? 23:14 Why are your greatest frustrations the flip side of your greatest strengths?   Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

You don’t need to be opposites to attract. Sometimes two very like-minded people with like-personalities people find mutual attraction. But it does seem odd that it’s often two people are not the same in many, many ways who find attraction. For example, why does the introvert find attraction in the extravert? Do they help them learn to speak up more and join the party? And why does the extravert fall for the introvert? Do they help them learn to listen and reflect? Kate and Tracy are coming at this from experience. Grab a cuppa and join. Listen for: 7:15 What really attracts introverts and extroverts to each other? 8:43 What does Tracy Noon find irresistible about introverted partners? 11:03 Why does an extrovert reopen an argument two days later? 13:18 Why did Tracy's eleven-year relationship end in total silence? 15:00 How many social outings are too many for an introverted partner? Guest Co Host – Tracy Noon Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

What if the exhaustion and lost sense of self in early motherhood aren't signs you're failing but signs you're being remade?  Kate Mason welcomes Benita Bensch, author, certified Motherhood Studies Practitioner, clarity coach, farmer, and mum of four boys, for a warm, honest conversation about matrescence, the profound identity shift of becoming a mother.  Benita shares her own journey through postnatal anxiety and burnout, the "black hole" she hit with four children under four, and the science and language that finally helped it all make sense.  Together they explore why understanding this transition matters, how to recognise when to seek help, and why reclaiming your identity makes you a wholer parent.  It's an empowering, hope-filled listen for anyone who has ever quietly wondered, "Who am I now?"   Listen for: 8:00 Why did Benita gradually start to lose her sense of self? 10:24 What do the physical symptoms of postnatal anxiety feel like? 11:57 What does hitting the "black hole" of motherhood look like? 16:52 What is matrescence and why aren't mothers told about it? 25:49 When should an overwhelmed mum reach out for help?    Guest Benita Bensch, Author, Speaker & Clarify Coach for Women  Website | LinkedIn | Email | Instagram | Facebook  | Seen Again: Light on Matrescence Book   Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

This is an episode originally published in August 2024. It is one of my most popular. Have you ever wondered what builds resilience in us and our children? In this episode, Kate chats with Tania Johnson, co-founder of the Institute of Child Psychology. Tania shares her journey, from fostering four First Nations children to her academic accomplishments and her profound insights into attachment theory and resilience. Together, they explore the power of purposeful parenting, the importance of allowing children to fail and learn, and practical strategies to foster resilience in our young ones. Listen For: 4:44 Experiences as a Foster Mom 11:15 When Did We Start Protecting Children from Failure? 26:17 The Impact of Overpraising 35:51 Teaching Resilience Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click

Have you ever walked away from a disagreement with your partner absolutely certain of what was said…only to have them remember it completely differently? What if that isn't manipulation at all, but simply the way human memory actually works? Kate Mason welcomes back Associate Professor Celine Vangolde from the University of Sydney, whose research explores memory, trauma, child testimony, and psychological abuse.  Celine's work sits at the intersection of science and real-life relationships, examining how memories are formed, stored, retrieved, and yes, sometimes misremembered entirely…and what that means for the families and couples navigating those moments every day. This conversation takes a deep, accessible dive into the term "gaslighting", where it came from, how it has evolved, and critically, when a normal memory disagreement ends and genuine psychological abuse begins.  Understanding personality types, memory distrust, and the role of intention gives parents and partners the insight they need to protect themselves and their families.   Listen for: 03:03 How does memory actually work and why don't two people ever remember the same event? 06:52 Where did the term gaslighting originate and how did it evolve over time? 13:43 What does Celine's research reveal about how couples misidentify memory conflicts as gaslighting? 17:11 How should someone decide if they are truly being gaslit or simply in a normal disagreement? 20:21 When does a caring, protective relationship cross the line into coercive control and abuse? Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Guest Celine Vangolde, Associate Professor University of Sydney School of Psychology, Faculty of Science, specializing in forensic psychology and memory research Online Bio | LinkedIn Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

What if the secret to raising happier children wasn't about perfect parenting techniques…but about the quality of the relationship between you and your parenting partner?  Kate Mason is joined by author, family therapist, and family systems expert Dr. Jenny Brown for a return visit that builds beautifully on their first conversation.  Jenny brings decades of clinical experience alongside her deeply personal journey of applying this work within her own marriage and family.  Drawing on the groundbreaking family systems theory developed by psychiatrist Dr. Murray Bowen, she and Kate explore what really happens to relationships when children arrive and why understanding your own role in relationship patterns is the most empowering shift any parent can make.  Whether you're feeling disconnected from your partner, frustrated by different parenting styles, or simply craving more connection in your family, this episode offers both the insight and the hope you've been looking for.  Listen For 2:45 How did Jenny's own family experience shape her decades of work with families? 9:14 Why do couples stop truly connecting and become roommates managing kids' logistics? 12:21 How should parenting partners listen to each other without fixing, advising, or comparing? 21:22 What was the moment Jenny realised she was getting in the way of her husband's parenting? 28:23 Where should disconnected parents start when they feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do?   Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Contact Dr Jenny Brown: Email | Website | Dr Jenny's Book "The Parenting Paradox" | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

Modern life is fraying us. But we can learn how to come back to ourselves.  In this thoughtful and deeply relatable episode Kate welcomes back educator, social worker, author, and speaker Stephanie Malia Krauss to explore why so many parents, teachers, carers, and children feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and disconnected.  Drawing from her book How We Thrive: Caring for Kids and Ourselves in a Changing World, Stephanie explains how chronic busyness, overstimulation, technology, anxiety, and modern pressures pull families away from regulation, connection, and truly human living.  Together, Kate and Stephanie unpack how self-regulation develops, why children and young adults are still learning these skills well into their twenties, how dysregulation can be mistaken for “bad behaviour,” and why parents need practical tools like going “below calm,” using gentle cues, listening instead of fixing, and recognizing their own stress signals.    Listen For 6:26 Why Does Modern Family Life Feel So Overwhelming? 11:15 What Is Self-Regulation and Why Is It Still Developing Until the Mid-20s? 19:20 How Can Parents Calm Themselves When a Child Is Dysregulated? 28:11 Is Your Child’s Behaviour Actually a Discipline Issue or a Dysregulation Issue? 41:17 Could the Personality Trait You Dislike Actually Be Chronic Dysregulation?    Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click Connect with guest: Stephanie Malia Krauss LinkedIn | Website | YouTube | Instagram | Book: How We Thrive  Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X

Your memory might feel certain, but it is not a recording.  In this fascinating episode of Parenting and Personalities, Kate speaks with Associate Professor Celine Vangolde from the University of Sydney about how memory really works, especially in children.  Celine explains why two people can live through the same moment and remember it differently, why memories are reconstructed rather than replayed, and how emotions, context, language, stress, and other people’s stories can change what we recall.  The conversation moves from everyday family misunderstandings to child testimony in legal settings, showing parents how to listen more carefully, ask better questions, and stay curious rather than jumping to conclusions.    Listen For 04:32 Is Memory Really Like a Video Recording in Our Brain? 06:56 Are We Ever Telling the Full Truth When We Remember Something? 10:35 Why Can Two People See the Same Thing So Differently? 14:49 How Do Children’s Memories Develop as They Grow? 19:26 Can Parents Trust What Their Children Remember? Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Guest: Celine Vangolde, Associate Professor University of Sydney School of Psychology, Faculty of Science | Forensic Psychology and Memory Research Online Bio | LinkedIn What colour is the dress? Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate’s Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X