Advertise on podcast: Disturbingly Pragmatic with Dave and Paul

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Dave's brain doesn't work!Mr. Short Term Memory!In the way, Dave!Negativity AWAY!Levity! Brevity!A dollar in the douche jar!HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEVIN!Airline tickets are too expensive for shenanigans!Levity! Brevity!"Severance" is amazing, though horrifying!Useless degrees!Will philosophize for food!Rants!Lady Gaga Levity!Up and down like a toilet seat in a men's room!Updated Irwin Allen!CGI sucks compared to practical effects!"The Goonies" sequel is on the horizon...!Long awaited sequels ALWAYS suck!Part 2, Electric Boogaloo!Dave loves Sean Astin to this day!Twink yogurt!Other peoples' kids are the best birth control!No naked nonsense in Dave's family! Episode Links (In Order): Louie Prima "The Bigger the Figure"!Tom Hanks "Mr. Short Term Memory"!Samuel Jackson's death in "Deep Blue Sea"!"The Goonies 2" is in the works!Teen girls try to kill mother over Wi-Fi! Music Credit! Opening Music Graciously Supplied By: https://audionautix.com/  Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Tinnitus!Defective Q-Tips!Disgusting ear detritus!Paul gets real!Back surgery is scary!Pain meds are fun!Red heads are weird!Catheters aren't fun!You really want to pass the catheter test!Paul Nightingale!Screws, rods, and holes!Tooth in eye disease!Seeing eye tooth!Paul gets frustrated!"You're a 52-year-old man!"Dave needs to listen to Paul more often!Pushed buttons!Boiled rabbits!Meghan "I'm inauthentic asf" Markle's new crappy show!Ghoulish disaster tourists!Paul goes with the flow, day by day!Nihilism vs realism!Agoraphobia!Dead Paul!Gay humpback whale orgy!Dead body mile high club!Toronto plane crash miracle! Episode Links (In Order): Video showing Dave's surgery!Dave's experience with opioids episode!Tooth in yer eyeball!Meghan Markle steals Mallorca's Coat of Arms!Humpback Whale Porno!Couple forced to sit beside corpse on long haul flight! Music Credit! Music Graciously Supplied By: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Zoo-bee-zoo-bee-zoooooo!David hates something!Paul's zen vibe!Dave's Ninja Slushy machine desire!McDonald's pop tastes different!Crocs are ridiculous!Jibbitz!  They're JIBBITZ, GOD DAMNIT!It's called UNSCHOOLING!Dave's fear of children!Hernia fun!Surgeon's offices suck!Facebook reels!Dave knows a lot about female orgasms!The straight man is the problem!Marry your gay best friend!We saw "Gladiator 2", and it was fine!Music was crap, though!Luigi Mangione, the Thirst Trap Assassin's hot, y'all!CEOs are either sociopathic or psychopathic!Paul's energy level is nonexistent tonight!23 and Jail!Say it ain't so, grandma! Episode Links (In Order): Ninja slushie machine!Croc toe jibbitz! Yes, they're just that stupid!Gen Alpha can't walk in their crocs!Gen Alpha Brainrot!Unschooling! Make your kid a moron! Gay Guys will marry your girlfriends Part 1!Gay Guys will marry your girlfriends Part 2!Our Kevin Allison Guest Episode from April, 2022!The Thirst Trap Assassin!United HealthCare Group CEO "Understands Frustrations"!Woman's DNA test leads to grandmother's arrest for murder! Music Credit! Opening Music Graciously Supplied By: John_Yasutis from Pixabay!    Closing Music Graciously Supplied By: https://audionautix.com/  Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Black mold everywhere!It's Brittany Murphy, David!We ain't dead yet!We were blown away by "Wicked", the movie!Oz was dark!The book was darker!Let's make life a musical!Dave's uneven!We missed you all! Sorry for being away!Posterior fusion surgery of cervical vertebrae sounds like a fun time!News is banned from our house now!Please, universe! Let us go extinct!Leonard!We get to sing the Friday Night Song!Bong Crisby!We finally got to see a Cybertruck in the wild!Teslas come with free cremations!Paul discovered "Kath & Kim"!Look at me! Look at me! Look at MEEEEEEEE!The CEO murder was intense!CEOs are jerks! Healthcare CEOs are monsters!Are you worth more alive or dead?!Children are scary!Paul's TikTok withdrawal is coming a la Trainspotting! Episode Links (In Order): Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night!Posterior fusion surgery!Cybertruck fire death 1!Cybertruck fire death 2!Tesla fire death!Cybertruck tire rim breaks!Cybertruck injures dog!Cybertruck owner flips his at a $207K loss!United Healthcare used AI to deny coverage!Insurance AI denials! Music Credit! Opening Music Graciously Supplied By: John_Yasutis from Pixabay!    Closing Music Graciously Supplied By: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Paul's irritation!Irritating tics!Leonard!Dave might just be a bit irritating...!Little brother, Dave!White person taco night!Pico de Gallo!Boring recipes!Paul's delicious salad dressing!"Hi! My name's Steve, and I'm a convicted sex offender!"Bring that sass!Don't eat Boar's Head Meat products!Paul doesn't give a S**T!Paul's connection to the new show, "English Teacher"!World DanceSport Federation names Raygun Number 1!Kidz Bop is creepy asf!"The Goonies"...Part 2?!Bad movie sequels!Dumpy is screwing Looney!Dave's algorithm is kittens!Facebook addiction is real!You have to pay taxes on your car every year in Virginia!Cybertrucks suck even more in Virginia!Paul saw a Cybertruck in the wild!Wrapped Cybertruck looks better than unwrapped! Episode Links (In Order): Jade's "Angel of My Dreams"!Dave's Pico de Gallo on Instagram!Boar's Head Meat Statement Re: Recall!Disgusting Boar's Head Meat plant!Boar's Head Meat recall!"English Teacher" on Wiki!Raygun named worlds #1 breaker!Raygun AI Assisted routine!Phil Hartman "Sassy's Sassiest Boy!"5-Year-old Breakdancer!Kidz Bop website!Kidz Bop Videos!"Cyberstuck" Subreddit!Wrapped Cybertrucks!Guy's Cybertruck is electrified! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Why is Dave doing what he's doing? To annoy you! Is it working?Paul is very demure and mindful!Dave got French right!Sassy Paul is out to play!Jools Lebron!  Look them up!Paul's sudden love of...feta?!Greek salad deliciousness!Glazed donuts!Paul ate ALL the feta!If you're offended easily, please don't listen!Dave suffers from CRS - Can't Remember S&*t!Blanche!  What's the deal with Raygun?!When you screw up in 2024, it's global!She has a PhD in it!We are in the movie "Idiocracy"Hawk Tuah girl, Haliey Welch, is peek 2024!Stupid people charging for tickets to their wedding!CyberTruck is crap!Electrolytes! Plants need them!Bedazzled Crocs!LEONARD!Eel adventures in Vietnam!Paul's love of rulers!How did we survive the Middle Ages?!People were disgusting! Episode Links (In Order): Jools Lebron's TikTok!Jools Lebron can finish transitioning now! Rachael "Raygun" Gun's Olympic performance!Rachael "Raygun" Gunn 'devastated' by online hate! Man upset people aren't sending RSVP for $450 wedding!Couple sell tickets to wedding for $333!Lewis Black's Cybertruck rant!"Idiocracy" wardrobe department bought Crocs!Doctors pull eel out of man's anus!Tell the tale of Lemmiwinks!Paul's hemorrhoidal experience episode! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Episode 69 with someone planking on top!Saturday recordings!Dave is a little old man!LCBO on Strike!Doug Ford, brother of Crackhead Rob Ford!Dangerous edibles!Dave enjoys being high!The Great Mysterio!Dave has no point!Medicine time!Death denying society! Yay!Rick Mercer's ice flows!"The Office" is awesome!"RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 9" is Fantastic!Paul wants an extra 3 inches!Death has visited us too many times recently!RIP: Shannen Doherty, Shelley Duvall, Martin Mull, Richard Simmons, Dr. Ruth, and Bob Newhart!"Charmed" was cheese!"How Soon is Now" is LIT!We want to see a movie!SCREW YOU, CINEPLEX!Sneezing out your intestines! Episode Links (In Order): Rob Ford crack smoking controversy!The history of MDMA!Rick Mercer: Talking to Americans!Nina West!Florida man sneezes out his intestines! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Harrison Butker wants his wife in the kitchen making cookies!The Rule of Thumb was a thing!It's 2024, for goodness’ sake!Trad Wife movement is ridiculous!Right wing homosexuality!Stop thrusting your religious nonsense on me!Happy Birthday, CIA Amy!Happy 52nd birthday, Dave!Nummy Steak!Paul is an extrovert-introvert!  Dave is simply introverted!Dave's age can be talked about in decades!Sitting on a secret!Ancient scrolls!We miss rotary phones!People are ignorant!Bear gives the kids a show at the Seattle Zoo!Our cats aren't catfluencers!Amazon cat!"Baby Reindeer" was creepy!"Young Sheldon" finale was ok! Episode Links (In Order): Tradwife Movement!Bear eats ducklings at kids birthday party!Pet cat accidentally returned to Amazon!Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Laughter!Intros are fun!Amy Sedaris night!More WINE!Bye bye, OJ!Dave has a bunch of useless crap in his mind!We experienced solar eclipse totality!Bloody clouds!Car sickness!Day to night, back to day in minutes!Sharp shadows!The rapture will get rid of a lot of a-holes!Paul's phantom conversations!Special dogs!Glucose dog is disappointed in Dave...!JoJo Siwa is under the impression she invented Gay Pop music!Kiss sold their catalog for 300 million!She's a sapphist, Rose!Paul loves JoJo!Allergies are fun!Yay! Trivia!Monkey brains!Twitchy eyes!Sexy teeth!Leonard!Icelandic elves!Flat earthers are stupid people!FRANCE!Hello Crystal Lake, Illinois! Episode Links (In Order): Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night!OJ Simpson Juror says 90% of them knew he was guilty!"That Chapter" YouTube channel!Murderer gets retried by the military to get around Double Jeopardy!Sharp shadows during eclipse!Kiss sold their catalog for $300 Million!JoJo Siwa is under the impression she invented Gay Pop!Tegan and Sara poke fun at JoJo Siwa!Caitlyn Jenner doesn't want her car crash compared to OJ! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: It's WINE o'clock!French butcher!Gewürztraminer wine!David is a cheap drunk, apparently!Paul is a fantastic chef!Soy sauce problems!We enjoyed "Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire"!Truman Capote was annoying!Smoking is gross!Vaping is ridiculous!Solar Eclipse of the heart!Totality is where it's at, baby!All the earthquakes!LinkedIn Affairs!Farts are funny! Episode Links (In Order): Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night!Ivana Trump's grave is overgrown!Woman's husband hacks her LinkedIn profile to announce her affair!Toilet plunger poop spray! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Gross songs! Thanks, Tim!Yeast is still gross!Paula Abdul!Paul's songs and music ADHD!Yes, and?!Madonna is a jackass to her fans!We love sleeping!More BLTs!Dave??!!We miss John Candy!Paul isn't sentimental!Let's get rid of Dave's stuff before he dies!Dave is Paul's daddy!Pornhub pulls out of Texas!Your car is reporting your driving habits to your insurance company!Gleaning with Paul!"Law & Order Toronto: Criminal Intent" is very Canadian!Let's boycott Kellogg's!Wendy's greed!Yay! Trivia!Dave's Hardy Boys kidnap fantasy!Paul's TikTok addiction!Possible American TikTok ban!Poetry.  Yuk!Christian science textbooks are crazy! Episode Links (In Order): "Rush, Rush" - Paula Abdul!"Tastes Like Burning" podcast!Madonna calls out disabled fan for sitting during concert!Madonna being sued for late concert start!Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night! Remembering John Candy!Mary Margaret O'Hara at John Candy's memorial!"Atuk" - The cursed movie script!Pornhub is pulling out of Texas!Your car is spying on you and snitching to the insurance company!Boycotting Kellogg's!Wendy's pricing controversy!FRANCE! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: The BEE GEES!Dave is a lady boy man!We're a day late, but yer getting an episode!Paul is the animal nanny!Olive the dog!Dave, the BLT master!No basic sandwiches for Dave!Paul is a basic sandwich bitch!Trailer park memories!Head Cheese sounds DELICIOUS!Happy Early 20th Anniversary, Doug and Chris! Have a fantastic voyage!We watched "Bridge of the Doomed"!Yeasty cinnamon rolls!  YUMMY!Milky goodness!How to cultivate human yeast?!?!Don't Google Thrush, Lemon Party, or Lindsey Graham's Ladybugs!Dave's colonoscopy fun!Peg Lyte is disgusting!Sure, Jan!Cacao!Donuts and pies! Episode Links (In Order): Episode in which we talk about our friend Doug being in a movie!"Bridge of the Doomed" IMDB Page!Our friend Doug's IMDB Page!Woman gets Thrush from her yeasty cinnamon rolls!Episode in which we talk about Pap Smear Beer!"Don't Whizz on the Electric Fence!"PNW Haunts and Homicides! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Paul's congestion!It's Amy Sedaris night!Low energy Friday!Hey Julieta, Diana, and Brit!Paul is empathetic! Dave...not so much!Dave was molested? WHAAAATTT??!?!?!"Saltburn" was not shocking to us!Uncut grave humping!"Short Bus" was shocking!Paul at Pine Knob!"Curb Your Enthusiasm" is uncomfortable!Wil Wheaton vs Larry David re Elmo!Jon Hamm's penis talk!Paul has impeccable dickdar!Drake's big penis!Ricky Spanish!Fire crotch!Keep your kids off social media!Don't microwave your fish at work! Episode Links (In Order): Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night!Dave shit on the floor episode (#20)!10 Best Canadian couples podcasts list!"Short Bus" movie!Paul's Pine Knob memories episode (#33)!Wil Wheaton is mad at Larry David for attacking Elmo!Creepy Kevin Spacey Christmas video #1!Creepy Kevin Spacey Christmas video #2!Creepy Kevin Spacey Christmas video #3!Pat Sajak has always been a dick!Jon Hamm puzzled by fascination about his penis!Jon Hamm's Penis!"Scary Movie" micro penis scene!Tina Fey roasts the "Little Broadway C$&#s of TikTok"!Miss South Carolina is an idiot! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: A Spanish flea!Happy 2024!Paul got COVID!Our fun health issues! YAY!We're boiling, globally speaking!SAD = Great acronym!Paul's TV show dreams!"Curb Your Enthusiasm" is cringe - but in a good way!"Young Sheldon" isn't Dave's fave...!Dave = Ruiner of Paul's enjoyment of shows!Blame it on the edit!Let's make money off True Crime!I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire!No more "Schmigadoon"!Screw you, Netflix!Teslas are GARBAGE!Oooohhh...a Chevrolet LUMINA!Damn you, influencers!Stanley Cups are hard to understand!I Wish I Didn't Know...FAMILY EDITION!Dave's gross maggot story! Episode Links (In Order): The Lung Brush!Reuters' Tesla expose!Cybertruck: Stainless steel = Genius move!Why Tesla fires are impossible to put out!The Pontiac Aztek!Cybertruck can't get up hill with a Christmas tree!1997 Chevy Lumina!Woman steals $2,500.00 worth of Stanley Cups!16-Year-old Girl's Stanley Cup collection! Music Credit! Opening/Closing music graciously supplied by: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!

Send us a text This Episode has EVERYTHING! It's got: Ron the Gay Nosed Reindeer!I'm a power, dom top!Brutalized French, yet again!Ghouliani is SCREWED! YAYYYYY!Abuse of power finally slapped down!Andrew Giuliani is a huge POS, just like his dad!Rudy Ghouliani married his second cousin!Dave pukes loudly! Paul pukes quietly!Petechial hemorrhage = MURDER!Loud sneezing!Dave can turn on Paul's Siri!Screw you, Siri!Green Christmases!Super Snow Days!Latch key kids!Song potpourri!Marijuana memory loss!Dave's first drug experience!Leonard!Don't mix molly and ketamine!Matthew Perry's death due to ketamine!Christmas light fun!WHERE IS THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC??!!TRIVIA TIME!Dave hates Paul McCartney's Christmas song!War on Christmas!A bucket of fried chicken skin!Talking bear toys!The Omnibot!Dr. Seuss was gross!Dom toppery, yet again!Turkey, ham, and bacon!It isn't WILSON, it's Teddy Roosevelt!Lincoln was GAY!We're gluten free! Episode Links (In Order): Chris Farley as Andrew Giuliani!Rudy Giuliani married his second cousin!Rudy Giuliani married his second cousin!Matthew Perry died from acute effects of ketamine!World record Christmas lights display irks neighbours!Ronnie Vino - It's Friday Night!Omnibot!Kentucky family finds owl in Christmas tree!Dr. Seuss was Gross! Music Credit! Opening Music Graciously Supplied By: John_Yasutis from Pixabay!    Closing Music Graciously Supplied By: https://audionautix.com/   Visit Our Patreon! Email Us Here: [email protected] Where To Find Us!: Disturbingly Pragmatic Link Tree!