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Navigating the Storm of Teen RelationshipsIn this eye-opening episode of 'It's All Your Fault', hosts Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy from the High Conflict Institute dive into the turbulent world of teen dating and relationship violence. Aimed at understanding and influencing the complexities of young people's interactions, this installment sheds light on how personality disorders could affect adolescent relationships, the emergence of digital violence, and strategies for intervention and prevention. Understanding Teen Dating ViolenceBill and Megan explore the significance of personality development in adolescents and its potential impact on dating violence. Discussions revolve around impulse control and interpersonal functioning, with a focus on borderline and antisocial personality disorders. The conversation is directed at parents and teens to recognize early signs of high conflict behaviors and the importance of intervention during adolescence. The episode also highlights the effectiveness of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and offers resources for those seeking help. Questions we answer in this episode: Do personality disorders matter in teen relationships?Can personality traits indicate a proclivity for relationship violence?How do peer attitudes influence teen dating violence?What role does gender inequality play in teen relationships?Why is self-regulation important to address in teens?Key Takeaways: Early personality development impacts adolescent dating behaviors.Impulse control and interpersonal dysfunction are key areas in personality disorders.Peer attitudes can have a stronger influence on teens than parental behavior.Gender inequality beliefs are risk factors for teen dating violence.Early intervention can help teens with high conflict behaviors adjust more effectively.Why This Episode is a Must-ListenBill and Megan's discussion is not just insightful—it's critical for understanding the dynamics at play in teen dating violence. This episode provides an essential guide for parents, educators, and teens to recognize and react to high conflict situations. By tuning in, you'll gain the knowledge to identify early warning signs and learn about the resources available to help manage and prevent relationship violence among young people. Don't miss out on this crucial conversation. Links & Other Notes WEBSITES ON TEEN DATING VIOLENCE AND DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPYBloom365Free Dialectical Behavior Therapy coursesHopeforBPDBOOKSGenerations: The Real Differences Between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers, and Silents―and What They Mean for America's FutureThe Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of TraumaDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life HellARTICLESNew Research Finds A Connection Between Domestic Violence And These Two Personality DisordersRESEARCHPersonality disorders as predictors of intimate partner violence: A meta-analysisDating ViolenceOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - Relationship Violence Part 2: Teen Relationships (00:50) - Personality Disorders in Teens (03:47) - Hot Reactive Violence vs. Cold Calculating Violence (06:17) - Resources (07:16) - TDV: Teen Dating Violence (12:19) - More Resources (14:54) - Digital Violence (24:04) - How to Approach Your Teen (26:07) - Setting Up Expetations (27:09) - TDV in Gen-Z (34:30) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: High Conflict at Work Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Bill and Megan explore the complex issue of relationship violence, focusing on factors that may predict aggressive behaviors and how to identify potentially abusive relationships. In this first part of a two-part discussion, they examine relationship violence through the lens of adult intimate partner relationships. The second part will focus specifically on teen dating violence. Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on. Questions we answer in this episode: What personality disorders or traits are associated with an increased risk for domestic violence?How can you spot early warning signs of a potentially abusive partner?What is coercive control and how does it relate to domestic violence?What happens in the brain when someone lacks impulse control?How can we avoid “jamming our own radar” in relationships?Key Takeaways: Not everyone with a personality disorder will become abusive, but certain disorders like antisocial and borderline PD are risk factors.Pay attention to charm, immediate strong attachment, and “love bombing” as possible red flags when dating.Coercive control refers to non-physical ways an abuser maintains power, like isolation, verbal threats, financial control.Impulse control problems may stem from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or traumatic childhood experiences.Going through personal crises or having unrealistic relationship expectations can blind us to warning signs.In part one of this vital two-part discussion, Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on. Tune in to gain knowledge that could help you or someone you care about build healthy, safe relationships. Links & Other Notes BOOKSDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hellavailable in paperback, audio, and e-book anywhere books are sold. Here are a few places you can get it.Get it on High Conflict Institute siteOn Amazon USOn Amazon AustraliaOn Amazon CanadaDATING RADAR SURVEY RESULTSRead results from entire survey here (scroll and click on “Read Dating Radar Survey Results”)HOTLINEUS Domestic Violence HotlineUS Hotline #: 800-799-7233ARTICLESDating Radar: Your X-Ray Vision In A New RelationshipPersonality Disorders and Intimate Partner ViolenceHIB PubMed article databaseDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?COURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsMediation in Domestic Violence CasesLIVE LABLive Lab: 1:1 coaching sessions to learn to use BIFF Responses, EAR Statements, and to set limitsOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:35) - Relationship Violence Part 1: Adults (02:50) - Survey Results (08:19) - What Jams Our Radar? (14:00) - Impulse Control (19:48) - Factors in Violent Tendencies (29:13) - Domestic Violence in Family Law (34:07) - How Do You Know You’re in a Domestic Violence Relationship? (36:03) - Coercive Controlling Violence (40:07) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence Part 2: Teens Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle an important but tricky topic in this episode - how to set healthy boundaries with others when tensions run high. Whether it's a contentious divorce, difficult coworker, or suspected lies, Bill and Megan provide realistic examples and actionable advice to constructively handle high-conflict situations. Tune in to learn techniques to establish boundaries while remaining calm and keeping conflicts small. This episode delivers takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships. They provide tips across three common scenarios: Co-parenting after divorce: Look to standards or common practices as a starting point. Focus on protecting the children and not discussing certain topics in front of them. You can only control your own behavior - walk away if tensions escalate.Workplace conflicts: Practice using the BIF (brief, informative, friendly, firm) method in emails or conversations. Don't engage in unnecessary battles - end conversations if needed.Suspected lies: Always consider three perspectives - it could be true, false, or somewhere in between. Don't react emotionally or you may become a target of blame. Reality test tactfully if needed.Bill and Megan stress practicing these techniques and finding simple but memorable phrases to use when setting boundaries. Their realistic examples and actionable advice provide takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships. Links & Other Notes LIVE LAB: 1:1 coaching to learn skills (setting limits, BIFF Responses, CalmB4Think)ARTICLE: 12 Tips for Co-Parent Boundaries ARTICLE: Need to Set Limits With a High Conflict Person? Give ‘Em Your EARARTICLE: 4 Ways to Set Limits at WorkCOURSE: Conflict Influencer™ Certification Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - Kicking Off Season Four (01:10) - Setting Limits in High Conflict Situations (02:00) - Co-Parenting (10:00) - The Work World (16:10) - Lying (26:44) - Wrapping Up (27:15) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Keeping the Peace This Holiday SeasonBill and Megan share tips for avoiding and defusing conflict at holiday gatherings. They offer insights from their work at the High Conflict Institute. In this timely episode, Bill and Megan explain how to prevent and de-escalate heated arguments that often arise when families reconnect after time apart. Listeners gain practical techniques to maintain a peaceful, enjoyable atmosphere. Avoiding Hot-Button TopicsBill notes that the high-emotion holidays can bring out uncontrolled behavior in some. He suggests posting a respectful gathering policy and having “minders” to gently redirect tense interactions. Megan explores preparation strategies like using self-talk and conversation redirection. Scheduling reminders helps you remember useful tools in the moment. Defusing TensionsBill advocates saving sensitive discussions for one-on-one talks, where polarization decreases. Groups often split into factions and fuel discord. Megan shares a touching example of connection occurring when two mothers met and shared their grief privately. Individual stories build bridges. Why It MattersBill and Megan provide simple but powerful ways to maintain self-control and model peaceful conflict resolution this season. Their advice offers pathways to joyful gatherings. Questions we answer: How can hosts set ground rules for respectful interactions?What tools can help individuals avoid unproductive fights?When and how should difficult topics be addressed?Key Takeaways: Posting expectations and having “minders” can prevent problems.Preparation and self-talk help you respond calmly in the moment.Save sensitive talks for one-on-one conversations later.Shared stories build connections between individuals.This timely episode provides useful techniques to prevent discord and promote goodwill this holiday season. Bill and Megan’s practical advice will help listeners consciously create an atmosphere of peace, joy and understanding. Links & Other Notes RESPECTFUL GATHERING POLICYDownload HCI’s Respectful Gathering Policy to hang up before your holiday gatheringsBOOKSCalming Upset People with EAR (communication technique)ARTICLESHandling High Conflict Situations During the HolidaysCalming Holiday ConflictsOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:39) - Holiday Conflict (02:24) - When Someone Says Something (06:03) - If You're Hosting (08:20) - Respectful Gathering Policy (09:10) - Be Prepared (11:47) - Giving Yourself Encouraging Statements (13:35) - If You Want to Discuss the Topics (15:52) - Reason-Able (17:02) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A New Season! Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Ending Hostile ConversationsBill and Megan share strategies for defusing tense conversations and exiting hostile interactions. They provide insights from the High Conflict Institute. Bill and Megan explain how to stop aggressive confrontations through limit-setting and agenda control. Listeners gain techniques to redirect heated exchanges into constructive dialogue. Defusing Tense SituationsBill outlines a two-step process for tense one-on-one interactions: warn hostile speakers to change their tone, then withdraw if attacks persist. Megan explores why we avoid limits and how practice builds confidence in boundaries. Ending destructive talks can be an act of kindness. Regaining ControlMegan recounts being publicly confronted while presenting. She learned arguing only empowers the disruptor. Bill emphasizes sticking to your agenda. Redirect speakers to appropriate questions. In social settings, empathize first, then question unverified claims. Exercise restraint in spreading rumors. Why It MattersBill and Megan provide tools to end toxic conversations, maintain self-control, and model peaceful conflict resolution. Their advice offers pathways to greater understanding. Questions answered: Exiting hostile one-on-one interactionsResponding when confronted publiclyRedirecting charged conversationKey Takeaways: Warn, then withdraw from attacksRefuse to engage hostile agendasQuestion unverified claims politelyYour firm boundaries can influence climateThis episode provides practical techniques to transform tense talks into meaningful dialogue. Tune in to gain empowering skills for calming hostility. Links & Other Notes: LIVE LAB™A practice space for 1:1 practice to set limits and communicate peacefullyCOURSESDe-escalation: Talk to the Right BrainBOOKSCalming Upset People with EAR (communication technique)It’s All Your Fault!5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLES4 Ways to Set Limits at WorkNeed to Set Limits With a High Conflict Person? Give 'Em Your EAR®.5 Tips for Setting Boundaries in RelationshipsOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Ending a Hostile Conversation (02:16) - Two-Step Process (08:08) - Mind the Gap (10:45) - What They Experience (12:41) - Setting Limit (14:45) - In Group Setting (20:04) - In Social Setting (23:13) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: What to Avoid at Holiday Gatherings Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Exploring Targets of Blame and How to Best Manage ThemBill and Megan tackle the challenging topic of being a target of blame from a high conflict individual. They provide insight into protecting yourself and managing difficult accusations. In this eye-opening episode, Bill and Megan define what it means to be a target of blame and how this manifests. They discuss tactics for minimizing your risk of becoming a target, as well as managing situations where false accusations spread. The hosts share perspective on correcting misinformation while avoiding escalation. Questions we answer in this episode: How can you reduce the risk of becoming a target of blame?What is the best way to respond when falsely accused?When is it appropriate to correct the record with documents?How do you avoid reinforcing hostile behavior?Key Takeaways: Becoming aware of high conflict personalities can help you recognize unhealthy blame.Don't get hooked into defending yourself - it often backfires.Provide brief, factual information to correct false claims.Tailor your response to who needs what information.Keep yourself calm while asserting the truth.This insightful episode equips listeners with strategies for protecting themselves when unfairly blamed. Bill and Megan deliver compassionate perspective that can help anyone managing a high conflict situation. Their guidance empowers us to respond thoughtfully when targeted. Links & Other Notes BOOKSHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesIt’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for EverythingIt’s All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict PeopleARTICLESSix Tips to Avoid Becoming Someone’s Target of BlamePersonality awareness: The key skill to dealing with high-conflict peopleOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:40) - A Target of Blame (02:25) - Term’s History (04:39) - Avoiding Becoming a Target (13:32) - How to Behave (16:33) - Extreme Example (18:59) - Paper Trail for Protection (21:06) - Red Flags (24:02) - Finding Balance (27:17) - Wrap Up (27:36) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: How to End a Hostile Conversation Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Effective Communication for Legal ProfessionalsBill, Megan, and their guest Rehana Jamal – and Bill’s co-author – dive into strategies for clear, civil communication in the legal field. They aim to provide practical tools that lawyers, court staff, and anyone interacting with the justice system can use right away. The episode focuses on BIFF, the High Conflict Institute's proven method for responding to emotionally-charged messages. Bill lays out the BIFF framework and walks through examples of transforming aggressive emails into responses that are Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. Rehana weighs in with insights from her experience as an attorney and mediator. She highlights how BIFF builds relationships and saves time compared to reactionary, hostile communication. Together, they make the case that small changes in how we communicate can transform legal conflicts and prevent escalation. Mastering constructive communication habits benefits lawyers, clients, court staff, and entire communities. Questions we answer in this episode: What is the BIFF response method?When is it appropriate to apologize in a professional email?How can BIFF improve lawyer-client relationships?Does BIFF work for all areas of law?Can BIFF help manage stress for legal professionals?Key Takeaways: Hostile emails from clients often stem from feeling discounted - a BIFF response shows you care.Pausing before reacting gives you time to construct an informative, friendly email.BIFF responses rarely need to be more than a concise paragraph.Avoiding apologies in heated exchanges prevents misuse of your words.Speaking by phone resolves issues faster than extended email chains.The legal field deals with conflict daily. This episode provides communication tools to handle clashes with skill and grace. Bill, Megan, and Rehana model a constructive approach that improves outcomes for all involved. Links & Other Notes THE BOOK (available in paperback and e-book)BIFF for Lawyers and Law Offices: Your Guide to Respectful Written Communication with Clients, Opposing Counsel and OthersPurchase the book at any of the links below (or wherever books are sold):our websiteAmazon USAmazon CanadaAmazon AustraliaAmazon UKAmazon Germany digital (e-book) versionCONSULTATION & COACHINGLive Lab (1:1 coaching to learn verbal and written communication skills in high conflict situations)Consultations (1:1 educational consultation to discuss high conflict situations and cases with our high conflict experts)COURSESBIFF Response® for Lawyers: Using and Teaching Respectful Communication ($47 USD)Coaching for a BIFF Response®Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - This Episode (01:32) - Meet Rehana Jamal (05:15) - Reminder What BIFF Is (07:49) - Why This Book (12:33) - Thinking About This From a Lawyer’s Perspective (17:33) - Rehana’s Experience (18:41) - Time and Risk Management (22:48) - BIFF… All the Time? (25:43) - Issue Affects Everyone (28:23) - Harder Than It Seems (31:08) - Example One (38:49) - BIFF Checker and More Book Info (41:33) - Example Two (46:00) - Example Three (51:37) - Last Thoughts (53:07) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Being a Target of Blame Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill and Megan provide guidance for coping with the complicated emotions that can arise when a high conflict person passes away. They cover the confusing mix of grief and relief family members often feel, how to handle being blamed after the loss, and the destabilization that can occur when a high conflict adult child loses a parent. Questions we answer in this episode: How do you handle the blend of grief and relief after the death of a high conflict loved one?What if you were the target of blame by the deceased?Why do high conflict people often lash out more after losing a stabilizing parent?How can probate turn siblings against each other?Key Takeaways: It's normal to feel both grief and relief when a high conflict person dies. Don't judge yourself.Being the target of blame can be depressing. Counseling helps with the loss and disorientation.Loss of a stabilizing parent can really destabilize a high conflict adult child's other relationships.High conflict people view things in black and white terms. Try to stay above the "teams" forming during probate.Losing a family member is always difficult, but even more complicated when high conflict is involved. Bill and Megan provide compassionate insight into managing these challenging situations and emotions. They remind us that empathy, perspective and communication are key. Links & Other Notes CONSULTATION & COACHINGLive Lab (1:1 coaching to learn verbal and written communication skills in high conflict situations)Consultations (1:1 educational consultation to discuss high conflict situations and cases with our high conflict experts)BOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeIt’s All Your Fault!ARTICLESWhy Healing is Hard for High Conflict PeopleOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:39) - Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One (02:20) - Grief, Relief, and Guilt (04:28) - Stages of Grief (08:13) - When You Were Their Target of Blame (10:24) - When Caregiving Parent of HCP Dies (14:10) - Family Relationships – Complicated and Source of Identity (17:34) - When a Narcissistic Parent Dies (20:57) - Focus on Positive (22:12) - Wrap Up (22:32) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Civil Communications for Lawyers and Law Offices Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

De-escalating High Conflict People with EAR Statements: An insightful look at calming down difficult situationsIn this episode, Bill and Megan dive into how to use EAR statements (showing empathy, attention, and respect) to de-escalate high conflict people and situations. They discuss the different high conflict personality types and when EAR statements can be effective tools. Bill and Megan also talk about combining EAR statements with limit setting, and when it's best to just disengage entirely. EAR statements are a compassionate way to acknowledge someone's emotions while still maintaining professional boundaries. Bill explains how a short EAR statement can radically shift a tense interaction by making the other person feel heard and seen. However, EAR statements aren't advisable in dangerous or abusive situations. Safety should always come first. Bill and Megan also caution that overusing empathy with manipulative personality types can backfire. Questions we answer in this episode: Do EAR statements work for all high conflict personalities?How do you use EAR statements with the paranoid, narcissistic, and antisocial types?When is it best to just disengage and set a limit?Key Takeaways: EAR statements show empathy, attention, and respect - this calms people down.They work for most high conflict personalities, especially borderline and histrionic.Disengage from aggressive people for your own safety. You have the right.Don't over-empathize with manipulative personalities - set limits.Compassion for people's histories can help you use EAR statements sincerely.This insightful episode is essential listening for anyone who deals with difficult people regularly. Bill and Megan's wisdom and experience provide easy-to-implement communication tools that can transform volatile situations. Their compassionate approach promotes understanding on both sides of tense interactions. Links & Other Notes BOOKSCalming Upset People with EARHigh Conflict People in Legal DisputesCOURSESAre You Talking to the Wrong Brain?CONSULTATION & COACHINGLive Lab (1:1 coaching to learn verbal and written communication skills in high conflict situations)Consultations (1:1 educational consultation to discuss high conflict situations and cases with our high conflict experts)ARTICLESEAR Statements Can Calm Clients and Anyone, Especially in Today’s WorldCalming Upset People Fast with EAROur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:39) - Are EAR Statements for Everyone? (02:16) - Empathy, Attention and Respect (08:10) - Does It Work With Everybody? (12:12) - Acknowledgement (14:57) - Paranoid (17:06) - EAR and Limits (20:40) - When Not a Professional Relationship (23:21) - Knowing When to Protect Yourself (24:53) - The Right to Disengage (26:24) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Finding Your Way as a Young Adult with a High-Conflict ParentIn this week's episode, Bill and Megan discuss the challenges many young adults face when launching into independent adulthood after growing up with a high-conflict parent. Bill and Megan have noticed an uptick in parents saying their young adult children are floundering after high school. While there are many contributing factors, a common thread seems to be having a parent with a high-conflict personality. This can significantly impact a young person's ability to find direction and become fully independent. Bill and Megan explore the cultural and social factors that make this transitional time particularly difficult for young people today. They discuss how our interconnected online world, while having many benefits, can also lead to comparison, depression and a feeling of not belonging. Bullying and toxic relationships enabled by social media exacerbate these issues. In addition, they examine the direct impact of growing up with a self-focused, high-conflict parent. This can leave young people feeling responsible for the parent and unable to focus on their own wants and needs. Bill and Megan provide perspective on how to overcome these challenges, emphasizing the importance of finding mentors, engaging in healthy social connections and seeking professional support if needed. Questions we answer in this episode: How can today's media culture negatively impact young people?What are some strategies for young people struggling with a high-conflict parent?Where can young adults find support and a sense of belonging?Key Takeaways: Comparison on social media can lead to loneliness and depressionBullying has more power and reach than ever beforeMentors and jobs can provide direction and purposeGroup therapy and school counseling are helpful resourcesFocus on developing your own identity and passionsThis uplifting episode provides hope and helpful advice for young people navigating adulthood in today's complex world. Bill and Megan offer perspective and guidance for anyone supporting a young person struggling to spread their wings. Links & Other Notes CONSULTATION & COACHINGLive Lab (1:1 coaching to learn verbal and written communication skills in high conflict situations)Consultations (1:1 educational consultation to discuss high conflict situations and cases with our high conflict experts)BOOKSNew Ways for Life™ Instructor’s GuideNew Ways for Life™ Youth JournalTRAINING COURSES FOR PROFESSIONALSNew Ways for Life (training to work with youth 12-17 on life skills: for counselors, therapists and youth leaders)ARTICLESKids and Self-EsteemOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:41) - State of Floundering Young People (02:43) - Why So Much Floundering? (09:55) - Bullying and Stimulation (13:30) - Parenting (18:35) - When Truly Floundering (20:26) - How Many? (22:50) - Wrap Up (23:08) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Are EAR Statements for All High Conflict Types? Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle questions from grandparents struggling to support grandchildren amidst high conflict co-parents. Protecting Kids from Raging Co-Parents First, they advise how grandparents can help shield kids from a raging, unstable parent. Recommendations include teaching emotional regulation, self-checking, and conflict management skills. Stay positive about the high conflict parent. Co-Parenting with a Difficult Ex Long-Term Next is guidance for co-parenting long-term with a high conflict, accusatory ex. Bill emphasizes staying calm, balanced, and solution-focused. Praise successes. Accept the limitations on your role as a grandparent. Getting an Expert Evaluation for Court Then Bill explains why expert testimony is critical for custody cases with a parent with tendencies like factitious disorder or personality disorders. Experts can explain the need for detailed custody orders. Minimizing Damage as Kids Grow Up Finally, they discuss how to minimize damage as kids mature and become more aware of a high conflict parent’s extreme behaviors. Expose kids to reasonable role models and encourage their insights. Key Takeaways: Teach kids emotional regulation and critical thinkingStay positive about the high conflict parentGet expert testimony for custody casesAccept your limited role as a grandparentFocus on providing stabilityThe key is accepting your limited role as a grandparent, focusing on your own behavior, and providing a stabilizing presence for grandchildren. Get support from other grandparents going through similar challenges. Links & Other Notes: COURSESErasing Family Documentary with Resist/Refuse Commentary from Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Resistance, Refusal and the Child’s BrainNew Ways for Families (course for parents in divorce/separation/co-parenting)BOOKSDon’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict DivorceNew Ways for Families: Professional GuidebookNew Ways for Families: Parent WorkbookHigh-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival GuideSplitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderVIDEOSThe Primitive Emotional Power of AlienationAlienation is Not NormalOvercoming the Contagious Emotions of AlienationARTICLESIs Your Child Alienated?Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - Grandparents and High Conflict (00:58) - Question One (16:24) - Question Two (23:05) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Workplace Conflict Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!

Podcast hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle listener questions about antisocial personality disorder. Bill clarifies common myths. Recognizing Antisocial Patterns in a Spouse The first section covers a listener asking how to respond to a psychiatrist claiming their spouse doesn't have antisocial traits. Bill explains professionals can get manipulated by antisocials' victim stories. Key antisocial patterns include blaming, aggression, rule-breaking, and lying. Make your own assessment using pattern awareness. Seeing Antisocial Personalities in Generations of Family Next, they discuss a listener noticing antisocial patterns across generations of their family. Bill confirms antisocial personality tends to run in families due to genetic factors. However, early childhood environment plays a role too. Having one antisocial family member doesn't mean all siblings will be. Comparing Antisocial and Narcissistic Patterns Finally, Bill contrasts antisocial personalities from narcissistic patterns. Antisocials straightforwardly lie while narcissists exaggerate. Both invest in false public images. However, antisocials fabricate entire stories while narcissists distort real events. Key Takeaways: Antisocial doesn't mean shy or introvertedLying, aggression and rule breaking are commonThe genetic link is strong but environment plays a roleNarcissists exaggerate while antisocials fabricateMaintain healthy skepticism of far-fetched storiesUnderstanding personalities helps respond cautiously. Don't assume you can change them. Focus on protecting yourself. Manipulation knows no limits or social status. Maintain healthy skepticism. Bill busts myths about antisocial personalities. Learn to recognize concerning patterns and behaviors to protect yourself. Links & Other Notes: COURSESHandling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict PeopleWorking with High Conflict Litigants - 10 Tips for JudgesBOOKSIt’s All Your Fault!5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLESSociopaths and Their DeceptionsThe New Elephant in the Room: Why All Professionals Need to Learn About Personality DisordersOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:34) - Anti-Social Personality Disorder (02:06) - Question One (13:13) - Question Two (18:46) - Question Three (34:12) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Grandparents and High Conflict Learn more about our Pre-Mediation Coaching here!