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They put me in a hog yoke because they ran out of kangs and someone was already using the cross. We were all in an Uber during this one leaving Williamsburg, VA because we already tried the pizza and other than that the only thing to do is make fun of all the Amish people

Sorry we are all in Pittsburgh standing outside a Sheetz asking people if yinz can spare a hoagie so we had to unlock one   Jelly Roll got divorced from Whoopi Goldberg because she was cheating on him with an IDF soldier named Egirl Vitubor. Men are just playthings to her. You need some squishy dumplings so bad at the store. If you have a Burger King and a Dairy Queen and a Jack in the Box near you try doing the Royal Flush

Flappy Qwop was a vibe during lockdown when HQ Trivia wasn't live yet and you couldn't hear it anyway because people were banging pots and pants together for nurses and doing Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style flash mobs. I hate those Moogles and I hate Kid Beer because you can't claim it was a port wine birthmark when you spill it after getting pulled over https://www.patreon.com/ChapoFYM/posts/wfym-391-patrol-169650083

Stick out your tongue and enjoy the treat of the season before you join the 295 Club because a guy who stole DVDs from Giant Eagle tries to stab you with a corn dog at the county fair. Then you have to walk home in the dark. If your family has slaves get rid of them

The armed forces should be comprised of gay guys recruited from prison and all crusaders should be children. Pennies got banned because old people put them up their nose. Up and The Whale are really hot movies. The DMV is telling old people they can get a new license to drive a spaceship if they turn in their car one. Dinosaurs were normal size and just really close   https://www.patreon.com/ChapoFYM/posts/wfym-389-english-168346073

How do you keep your Bible from getting wet while scuba diving? Buy a waterproof Bible from the combination counterfeit Alcoholics Anonymous sobriety coin and fake handicapped parking placard store. They also sell a Pink Foid poster which is not waterproof

Watch out for the guy who throws dead birds at your windshield off an overpass so he can charge you for fixing it unless it rains. He was probably homeschooled and he just wants to have either a Brown Day or a White Day depending on which coast he lives on. The Telltale Games version of Rescue Me makes me want to powerwash my deck   https://www.patreon.com/ChapoFYM/posts/wfym-387-brown-167042744

Before they invented the 386 or the 387 the first ever Sybian had a guy inside like a brazen bull and he would just sit in there shaking. Corn sweat feels good but inhaling Roundup in dry dirt feels even better. Thomas Crapper invented the blumpkin before he knew if the flushing would work or not. Deja Entendu was good but you can't make it your profile picture anymore. If you see a Ukrainian soldier with a White Sun on his uniform it means he supports racial justice

Do you spin or does the duck spin? How much torque do you need? Duck Dynasty refused to tell us because it was a trade secret and they actually preferred Medium Fish with No Teeth. Definitely not a sturgeon. The Dexter of Molesters is a HERO and Sonic is the Burlington Coat Factory of former roller skate restaurants

Sorry we are traveling for a wedding this week and we all died   My aunt is thicker than the wicked bible and a brick put together and her monstrous caboose is slowly colonizing Mohegan Sun from the inside and all they can do is sell her fake Swisher Sweets that are just fly paper filled with flies and honey. David Blaine did a fake trick to a dog with balloons but he was behind the door lifting him up and everyone thought it was Criss Angel and David Copafeel. Donkeys deserve respect

My straight son will only be allowed to wear natural fibers with a matte texture. He will never be one of those shiny boys who won't take out the trash but I trust my gay son to wear whatever he wants. But once the wolf comes we are all asking #WhatHappenToThatBoyTho

The ChatGPT basketball has helped my game immeasurably and the AI is integrated so seamlessly no one can tell what the difference is. Maya Poet saw a Lamborghini and it made her want to date Asmongold and live in his house. Coworkers love making their lock screen NSFW and then showing everyone at work. Vida Guerra made Bob Hope blush at a USO concert

Chevy small block engine fans are going to love this one but fans of Marco Polo might as well skip it entirely the same way he skipped his trip and made everything up. They had to put Where's Waldo above the urinals so no one would look at the guy next to them but one guy ended up spending all day standing there and everyone had to pee in the sink like a Buddhist. If you listen to NSBM all of the Simpsons are judging you   https://www.patreon.com/ChapoFYM/posts/wfym-383-lint-163911191

RL Stine is on notice for meddling in state-level politics with his G-rated Psychobilly nonsense making a Mr. Frumble type blunder endorsing Rudolf von Flugel. When he was Ricardo he pretty much ran San Quentin after running over a worm driving an apple and no one even glutted him out

RFK Jr. has been chasing skinks around the yard and biting off their tails but they grow back unlike when bees give you their tail in your skin so now you can make the royal jelly. Nelly and Tim McGraw met in Central Park and they made a song for the Knicks about how they want to live in New York over and over again and not try anything crazy like going from Dustah to Wustah. If Hoodie Allen and Sammy Adams did a collab it would be so fire that Obama is the president again   https://www.patreon.com/ChapoFYM/posts/wfym-381-captain-162766532