Advertise on podcast: Two Become Family with Renzo and Monica Ortega

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! This episode is sponsored by Alto from Ascension. Alto is Ascension’s monthly printed prayer companion that brings together, daily Mass readings, Morning and Night Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, reflections, saints, novenas, and more—all in one place. Learn more and subscribe to Alto here: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Use our code: TWO10 for 10% off your first purchase. Chapters 00:00 – A Word from Our Sponsor, Alto 00:21 – Why Gen Z Needs to Know St. John Paul II 00:57 – JP2 on Freedom and the Gift of Self 02:42 – Why True Freedom Requires Interior Discipline 03:52 – Why Loving Your Family Is Harder Than Loving a Dog 06:17 – How Duty and Freedom Work Together 07:56 – Preparing Yourself to Receive God’s Grace 09:55 – Alto: Building a Daily Prayer Life 12:08 – Why Self-Discipline Isn’t the Same as Holiness 14:12 – JP2 on Marriage as Good News for the World 16:42 – Your Family Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect 18:34 – Living the Mission of Family Life 20:14 – Why We’re Returning to Our JP2 Roots 22:05 – Closing Thoughts Freedom cannot be understood as a license to do absolutely anything: it means a gift of self. Even more: it means an interior discipline of the gift. The idea of gift contains not only the free initiative of the subject, but also the aspect of duty. All this is made real in the "communion of persons". We find ourselves again at the very heart of each family.  — St. John Paul II, Letter to Families (Gratissimam Sane), §14.  I urge you, dear Christian families, to show by your daily lives that despite numerous difficulties and obstacles marriage is able to be fully lived out as a meaningful experience and as "good news" for the men and women of today. Be leaders in the Church and in the world: this is a responsibility flowing from your celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony, from your being a domestic church, and from the marital mission which is yours as the primary cells of society  — Address to the Fourth World Meeting of Families, 2003.  Two Become Family is a Catholic marriage and family podcast with Renzo and Monica Ortega, encouraging couples to believe in what they are and discover holiness in ordinary family life. Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! This episode is sponsored by Alto from Ascension. Alto is Ascension’s monthly printed prayer companion that brings together, daily Mass readings, Morning and Night Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, reflections, saints, novenas, and more—all in one place. Learn more and subscribe to Alto here: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Use our code: TWO10 for 10% off your first purchase.  Today’s episode: Does getting your child an ADHD diagnosis help them understand themselves—or does it risk giving them a label they’ll carry for the rest of their life? After Renzo’s adult ADHD diagnosis and now navigating ADHD diagnoses with two of our children, we’ve wrestled with this question ourselves. In this episode, we talk about why we chose to pursue an ADHD diagnosis for our kids, the difference between a diagnosis and a label, and why understanding the way a child’s brain works doesn’t have to mean lowering expectations for them. We also talk about emotional regulation, accommodations, discipline, medication, the spiritual life, and what we hope our kids gain from understanding their ADHD before entering their teenage and adult years. For us, the goal isn’t to tell our children, “This is who you are.” It’s to help them understand: “This is something you have. Now let’s learn how to work with it.” We’re not medical professionals, and this isn’t medical advice. We’re simply sharing our experience as parents and what Renzo has learned from being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Chapters 00:00 Our family's experience with ADHD 01:46 Does a diagnosis become a label? 02:29 Why we pursued diagnoses for our children 03:56 ADHD or just normal childhood behavior? 06:11 Accommodations without lowering expectations 07:42 Helping children overcome their limitations 09:40 A word from our sponsor, Alto 11:00 You have ADHD. You are not ADHD. 12:36 ADHD, emotions, and the spiritual life 15:13 Why a diagnosis can change how you see yourself 17:16 Why everyday habits can be harder with ADHD 18:31 Our experience with ADHD medication 20:12 How medication has affected our family life 22:51 Medication doesn't replace discipline 23:53 Final thoughts Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! This episode is sponsored by Alto from Ascension. Alto is Ascension’s monthly printed prayer companion that brings together, daily Mass readings, Morning and Night Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, reflections, saints, novenas, and more—all in one place. Learn more and subscribe to Alto here: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Use our code: TWO10 for 10% off your first purchase.  Today’s episode: Family life is hard sometimes. That doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong. Bedtime battles. Potty training. Kids who need you constantly. Work changes. Caring for aging parents. Moving. Financial stress. Seasons when you and your spouse love each other but barely have enough energy left at the end of the day to talk. In this episode, we talk about the temptation to treat the normal difficulties of marriage and family life as problems that need to be fixed—and how to discern the difference between a difficult season you need to walk through and a situation where you really do need help. St. John Paul II offers a beautiful way of looking at these seasons: “Family prayer has for its very own object family life itself, which in all its varying circumstances is seen as a call from God and lived as a filial response to His call.” In this episode: • Why difficult doesn’t automatically mean dysfunctional • The temptation to make comfort the measure of a healthy family • Why some parenting struggles are simply part of raising children • How prayer changes the way we experience difficult seasons • How to discern when you may actually need help • Why John Paul II tells young couples to seek out experienced married couples • What real human accompaniment gives us that the internet and AI cannot • How couples who have been helped can eventually become the couples who help others Chapters 00:00 Is Your Marriage Broken or Just a Hard Season? 02:43 Are Companies Selling Solutions to Normal Parenting Struggles? 04:28 When Parenting Leaves No Time for Your Marriage 07:26 Why Difficult Parenting Seasons Are Normal 08:19 Why Your Children Need You So Much 10:18 St. John Paul II on Prayer During Hard Family Seasons 12:25 Alto: Making Prayer Easier Without Your Phone 14:16 Other Difficult Seasons of Marriage and Family Life 15:06 Stop Wishing for a Different Season of Life 17:13 Are Your Kids Really the Problem? 18:12 How Do You Know When Your Marriage Needs Help? 19:36 Why AI Cannot Replace Experienced Married Couples 21:13 Finding Support and Wisdom from Other Couples 23:43 Becoming a Source of Encouragement for Other Families Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! What makes a man masculine—and when did looking masculine become evidence that a man is holy? After a one-star review accused us of promoting “feminized Christianity,” we decided to talk about it. We unpack the rise of “muscular Christianity,” the caricatures of Catholic masculinity online, and why strength, discipline, lifting weights, leadership, and doing hard things are good—but aren’t the same thing as holiness. More importantly, we talk about what marriage and fatherhood eventually demand from a man: sacrifice, humility, emotional maturity, prayer, surrender to God, and the ability to carry burdens that can’t be lifted in a weight room. In this episode: • “Feminized Christianity” vs. muscular Christianity • Why masculine appearance isn’t the same as virtue • What marriage actually requires from men • Discipline, athletics, and self-mastery • Masculinity as integration rather than performance • Why fatherhood requires more than toughness 📕Coming January: The Quest for the Male Soul: https://link.amazon/B09nC5MaL Chapters 00:00 — We Got a One-Star Review  02:04 — What Does a “Masculine Christian” Look Like?  05:14 — What Is “Feminized Christianity”?  07:50 — What Marriage Actually Requires From Men  10:56 — The Return of Muscular Christianity  14:12 — When Discipline and Strength Become Misordered  17:05 — Masculinity vs. Masculine Performance  19:30 — The Illusion of Control  20:46 — What Actually Forms Good Husbands and Fathers Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! What can Blessed Fulton Sheen teach us about marriage today? Discover Sheen, inspired by his beatification, not just through clips on Instagram. He has more to say! Here are his writings: Three to Get Married - the essential starting point for his thoughts on the sacrament of marriage: https://a.co/d/0hZ61jqS Children and Parents - focused more directly on parenthood and the dynamic of family relationships. Way to Happiness - Sheen’s vision of the Christian life, love, virtue, and happiness. In honor of his beatification, we’re revisiting some of our favorite wisdom from Fulton Sheen’s Three to Get Married and talking about what it looks like when that wisdom meets actual married and family life. How do you give yourself to your spouse and children without losing yourself? When does healthy self-care become selfishness? Are our desires and passions themselves bad—or does the problem come from what we do with them? And after years of marriage, kids, schedules, work, and responsibilities, can we still remain fascinated by the person we married? After 20 years together, some of Sheen’s words hit very differently than they did when we first read them as newlyweds. We talk about self-gift without self-erasure, keeping our desires rightly ordered, motherhood and fatherhood, and Sheen’s beautiful idea that love flourishes in the ongoing “mystery” of the other person. Because your spouse isn’t someone you finish figuring out. Chapters 00:00 — Celebrating Blessed Fulton Sheen 01:12 — Why Three to Get Married Still Matters 01:50 — How Do You Love Yourself Without Being Selfish? 03:22 — Do You Lose Yourself in Marriage and Parenthood? 05:45 — God as the Guardrails for Self-Gift 08:20 — When Self-Care Becomes Self-Indulgence 10:00 — Are Our Passions and Desires Bad? 11:23 — Fulton Sheen’s Clarity About Marriage 13:48 — Knowing Where the Boundaries Are 14:00 — Why Love Needs Mystery 16:05 — Reading Sheen After 20 Years Together 17:37 — When Marriage Becomes All Tasks and Schedules 19:57 — Your Worth Isn’t Based on What You Do 20:44 — “Love Demands Something Unrevealed” Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! What does the Catholic Church actually mean when it says that every marital act must remain “open to life”? Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking In Part 1, we started following the footnotes. Now we’re going further. Beginning with Catechism paragraph 2366, we follow the Church’s citations through Humanae Vitae, Casti Connubii, and Pope Pius XII’s 1951 Address to Midwives to answer a controversial question: Does the Church actually teach that sexual activity within marriage must retain its intrinsic relationship to intercourse and procreation—or is that simply one interpretation Catholics have added later? Along the way, we also wrestle with the difficult real-life questions that come with that teaching. What if a couple knows they’re infertile? What about pregnancy or menopause? What if you’re practicing NFP during an infertile phase? Does every moment of sexual arousal between spouses have to end in intercourse? What if intercourse is painful? And what happens when a teaching of the Church genuinely feels impossible in your marriage? One of the most important distinctions in this conversation is between something being infertile and something being deliberately rendered contrary to its natural ordering. Humanae Vitae explicitly recognizes that married couples can engage in intercourse when conception is impossible for reasons independent of their will. Infertility does not make marital intimacy meaningless. At the same time, as we continue following the Church’s own sources, the consistent principle becomes increasingly clear: Catholics are not free to deliberately change the nature of the marital act simply because conception isn’t possible. That doesn’t mean every difficult situation has a simple answer. Pain is real. Infertility is real. Fear surrounding another pregnancy can be real. Serious problems within a marriage are real. Those circumstances deserve genuine compassion and accompaniment. But accompaniment isn’t the same thing as pretending the Church hasn’t taught something simply because living it is difficult. Chapters 00:00 Settling What “Open to Life” Actually Means  01:08 Humanae Vitae 11: What the Church Actually Says  02:04 Can Sex Be Open to Life When Pregnancy Is Impossible?  03:30 What About NFP, Pregnancy, Infertility, and Menopause?  04:06 Does Every Moment of Arousal Have to End in PIV?  05:04 Intention Matters in Catholic Marital Intimacy  06:27 Chastity Doesn’t Mean Being Afraid of Your Spouse  07:23 Why Affection and Arousal Aren’t Automatically Sinful  08:01 Why Infertile Sex Is Still Noble and Worthy  09:44 God’s Design Includes Natural Periods of Infertility  11:08 What Does “Intrinsic Relationship to Procreation” Mean?  12:56 What If This Teaching Feels Impossible in Your Marriage?  14:18 Following Humanae Vitae to Casti Connubii  15:20 What Does “Deliberately Frustrated” Mean?  16:57 What If Intercourse Is Painful?  18:10 You Don’t Have to Finish Just Because You Started  18:46 Why Pain Is Different From Deliberately Avoiding the Marital Act  20:36 Does Something Being Good for Your Marriage Make It Morally Good?  21:55 Is the Church Really Prescribing PIV?  23:08 Pope Pius XII on the Marital Act  26:37 Is This Church Teaching Permanent?  27:56 How Catholic Couples Can Help Other Couples Live This Two Become Family exists to encourage Catholics who love the Church, love each other, and still find marriage and family life harder than it’s supposed to be. BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: https://twobecomefamily.com 📲 Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twobecomefamily/ Our Shop https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking What does the Catholic Church actually mean when it teaches that sex between husband and wife must be “open to life”? Does every sexual encounter have to end in intercourse? What about couples dealing with infertility? What about pregnancy, menopause, or times when conception simply isn’t possible? And is the idea that the marital act needs to remain ordered toward procreation actually Church teaching—or simply one interpretation promoted by Catholic authors and speakers? In this episode, we start following the footnotes. Rather than relying only on what Catholic marriage writers, Theology of the Body speakers, or “Catholic sex influencers” say, we go directly to the Catechism of the Catholic Church and then follow its citations into Humanae Vitae to understand what the Church means when it talks about the unitive and procreative meanings of sex. But there’s another important part of this conversation. Catholic teaching on sexuality isn’t meant to become a checklist that ignores the actual state of a marriage. A husband and wife can technically follow a sexual rule while still struggling with resentment, coercion, emotional disconnection, selfishness, or serious disagreements about family life. So what does faithful Catholic marital intimacy actually require? In this episode we talk about: What Catholics mean when they say sex must be “open to life”Why we use the abbreviation PIV when discussing the marital actWhether the Church actually teaches that every marital act must remain ordered toward procreationHow to distinguish Church teaching from someone’s interpretation of Church teachingWhat the Catechism says in paragraph 2366Why the Church connects the unitive and procreative meanings of sexWhether infertile, pregnant, or postmenopausal couples can still be open to lifeWhat Humanae Vitae 11 says about marital intercourse when conception isn’t possibleWhy Catholic teaching describes marital sexuality as noble and worthyWhy difficult circumstances require genuine pastoral accompanimentHow infertility and trying to conceive can change a couple’s experience of sexWhy simply following the “rules” doesn’t automatically create healthy marital intimacyChastity, self-mastery, and genuinely giving yourself to your spouseWhy lust, coercion, or using your spouse for gratification are incompatible with authentic marital intimacyWhen deeper problems in a marriage need to be addressed before sex can become truly unitiveOne of the most important distinctions in this conversation is this: Knowing what the Church teaches and knowing how to accompany a struggling couple are not competing goals. Pastoral care requires compassion for the actual circumstances of a marriage. But good pastoral care also needs something solid underneath it—a clear understanding of what the Church actually teaches. So we’re going to the sources. And because this conversation turned out to be much bigger than one episode, this is only the beginning. Chapters 00:00 What Does “Open to Life” Actually Mean? 01:28 Is Catholic Teaching About Sex Too Legalistic? 04:05 Is This Church Teaching or Just an Interpretation? 05:26 What About Pregnancy, Infertility, and Menopause? 06:25 Following the Footnotes 08:34 What the Catechism Actually Says About Sex 10:44 When Church Teaching Feels Impossible to Live 13:35 Pastoral Care Cannot Change the Truth 15:00 What Humanae Vitae Says About Infertile Sex 16:08 Sex Should Be “Intimate and Chaste” 19:26 Following the Rules Isn’t Enough 21:01 Lust, Coercion, and Using Your Spouse 23:19 Where We Go From Here Two Become Family exists to encourage Catholics who love the Church, love each other, and still find marriage and family life harder than it’s supposed to be. BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: https://twobecomefamily.com 📲 Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twobecomefamily/ Our Shop https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com Support the show Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! Season 5 is here—and we’re starting with sex. Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking More specifically, we’re jumping into a debate happening in Catholic circles online: Are Catholic marriage speakers being more prescriptive about sex than the Catholic Church actually is? Recently, Catholic speakers such as Jackie Angel have received criticism for saying plainly that sexual intimacy between husband and wife should culminate in intercourse—what we refer to in our book Lovemaking as PIV. The criticism isn’t simply that this language is too explicit. The deeper argument is: The Church never actually says that. You’re adding your own interpretation to Church teaching. So… are we? In this season-opening episode, we begin working through that question by going directly to Humanae Vitae 11 and 12 and asking what the Church means when it teaches that every marital act must preserve both its unitive and procreative meanings. And we quickly discover that the disagreement isn’t only about sex. It’s also about how Catholics read Church documents, how doctrine gets pastorally communicated, how natural law works, and whether making a teaching easier to understand is the same thing as adding something to it. We talk about: Why Catholic social media is arguing about how married couples should have sexThe criticism directed toward Jackie Angel and other Catholic marriage speakersWhy we use the abbreviation PIV when discussing intercourseWhether talking explicitly about sex is inappropriate or actually necessaryThe difference between being explicit and being irreverentWhether saying marital intimacy should culminate in intercourse goes beyond Church teachingWhat Humanae Vitae 11 and 12 actually sayWhat the Church means by the unitive and procreative meanings of sexWhy every marital act must retain its relationship to procreationWhat natural law means in Catholic moral theologyWhy Church documents aren’t always easy for ordinary Catholics to interpretThe difference between doctrine and pastoral applicationWhy some Catholics genuinely need someone to tell them plainly, “What does this actually mean?”Why social media makes pastoral accompaniment especially difficultWhy the unitive meaning of sex deserves just as much attention as the procreative meaningWhat it means for intimacy to be rightly ordered toward lifeWhy helping someone understand Church teaching isn’t necessarily the same thing as adding to itHow couples’ lived experiences should be acknowledged without changing moral truthOne of the biggest questions we raise is this: If Humanae Vitae says that every marital act must preserve both its unitive and procreative meanings, what exactly does that require of a married couple? Because simply repeating the words “unitive and procreative” doesn’t necessarily tell a couple what to do. Some Catholics want the theological principle. Others are asking: Okay—but what does that actually look like? And sometimes pastoral care means someone has to be willing to say the difficult thing clearly. This episode begins a three-part conversation examining what the Catholic Church actually teaches about marital intimacy, being “open to life,” and whether the common Catholic understanding of the marital act can really be found in the Church’s own documents. Chapters 00:00 Welcome Back to Season 5  01:12 Why the Internet Is Arguing About Catholic Sex  01:24 The Controversy Over Jackie Angel’s Marriage Advice  02:32 Why We Use the Term PIV  03:23 Is Talking Explicitly About Catholic Sex “Cringeworthy”?  04:15 Are Catholics Adding Rules the Church Never Taught?  05:04 What Humanae Vitae Actually Says About the Marital Act  06:26 Why Church Documents Can Be Difficult to Understand  07:35 What Natural Law Actually Means  09:24 “Each and Every Marital Act” — What Does That Mean?  10:16 Doctrine vs. Pastoral Application  11:35 Why Catholic Social Media Gets This Conversation Wrong  13:24 Why Some Couples Need Clear, Prescriptive Answers  15:09 Why Catholic Speakers Need to Say the Difficult Thing  16:01 Can Sex Be Procreative Without PIV?  17:23 What Does “Ordered Toward Life” Actually Mean?  18:32 The Unitive Meaning of Catholic Sex Matters Too  20:03 Why Some Catholics Need Someone to Just Say It  21:46 Are We Misinterpreting Humanae Vitae?  22:24 What Does “Unitive” Actually Require in Marriage?  23:39 Truth, Pastoral Care, and a Couple’s Lived Experience  25:11 Where This Conversation Goes Next Two Become Family is conversations and encouragement for your Catholic family—helping couples believe in what they are and become the family God created them to be. BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: https://twobecomefamily.com 📲 Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twobecomefamily/ Our Shop https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! Can Catholics French kiss before marriage? After Elizabeth Busby’s Theology of the Body Institute answer and Christian B. Wagner’s response, “No, You Can’t Kiss Your Girlfriend,” sparked a Catholic internet debate, Renzo and Monica enter the conversation as a married Catholic couple. Is passionate kissing always sinful outside of marriage? Is arousal the same as lust? And what does chastity actually require from dating and engaged couples who are trying to love one another well? This is a conversation about French kissing before marriage, Catholic dating, Theology of the Body, desire, chastity, and why marriage does not simply make using another person acceptable. Follow us on Instagram @twobecomefamily. Looking for some accompaniment when it comes to talk about sex with your spouse?, Check out our book and order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! In this episode, Renzo and Monica pause their regular series to talk about Pope Leo’s latest encyclical, Magnifica Humanitas, through the lens of marriage and family life. This is not meant to be a full summary of the document. It is an invitation to read it. But as we worked through the encyclical, we kept seeing how much Pope Leo’s reflections on human dignity, artificial intelligence, technology, algorithms, and the attention economy matter for Catholic families. The rebuilding of society starts in the home. The family is where a child first learns who he is, what he is worth, and what it means to be loved. That matters even more in a world where technology is forming imagination, attention, self-worth, and desire. We talk about why parents cannot afford to ignore AI, why filters and blockers are not enough, how the attention economy exploits vulnerability, and why AI can imitate care but can never actually love us. We also discuss how marriage and family life teach our children the difference between a tool and a person, between quick answers and real relationships, and between being managed by technology and being formed in love. To read the full ten points from the encyclical, visit our accompanying article on Substack. Follow us on Instagram @twobecomefamily. Looking for some accompaniment when it comes to talk about sex with your spouse?, Check out our book and order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! What happens when you go into marriage expecting your spouse to make you happy, fix your wounds, or finally give your life the meaning you’ve been looking for? In this episode, we talk about why your spouse was never meant to be your savior. Marriage is not just two people coexisting, splitting chores, raising kids, and trying to stay comfortable. For Catholics, marriage is a sacramental journey toward Jesus. That means romance, joy, friendship, suffering, healing, sacrifice, and grace all belong inside the story. We also talk about the “pictures” we carry into marriage, how shows like Boy Meets World shaped our expectations, why marriage can feel disappointing when our picture is wrong, and why Jesus has to be more than an add-on in marriage formation. Looking for some accompaniment when it comes to talk about sex with your spouse?, Check out our book and order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! Send share this episode with a priest who walks with couples! Or share it with a young person, engaged couple, or married couple that wishes the Church gave them more guidance.  We try walking with couples about sex, that's why we wrote this book to help Order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! On Tuesday 28 April 2026, the Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life will hosted a study day asking: "How can the Church form pastors capable of accompanying young people, engaged couples, and spouses so that they live Christian marriage as an authentic experience of faith in a cultural context marked by secularization? Several speakers addressed that question, including Father Andrea Bozzolo, rector of the Pontifical Salesian University." No one invited us, BUT we still wanted to add our two cents on how the Church could do a better job accompanying young people, engaged, couples, and married people. Catholic marriage is not just a beautiful idea. It is a sacrament lived through sex, sacrifice, fertility, exhaustion, money, children, resentment, forgiveness, prayer, and the daily choice to love someone who is also being slowly sanctified by God at the same time. Catholic couples need understanding and guidance, not sentimental language. If the Church wants to really accompany people, they need to shift away from, giving couples a romanticized theology of marriage because, though good and true, it ultimately leaves them feeling alone with the actual work of becoming one flesh. Send share this episode with a priest who walks with couples! Or share it with a young person, engaged couple, or married couple that wishes the Church gave them more guidance.  We try walking with couples about sex, that's why we wrote this book to help Order Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children Don't forget to visit https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! Why would the Resurrection change how Catholics talk about sex? We got into an online argument about sex, marriage, and what husbands are owed. But the more we talked, the more we realized the real disagreement was deeper than sex. It was about what marriage is, what sexual desire is, and whether how we understood the Resurrection actually changes what we believe our bodies are for. We wrote a Catholic s*x book! Check it out: Order LOVEMAKING!   Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray that it is a blessing to you and your families. If you are benefitting in some way from what we're doing read and subscribe to our Substack: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Our Apostolate About Us Connect with us and send us a message on Instagram YouTube Channel Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...

Send us a voicemail to tell us what you think! We got into an argument in front of our kids and then we talked about it. Let's jump in! We wrote a Catholic s*x book! Check it out: Order LOVEMAKING!   Our other books Go To Joseph: 10 Day Consecration to St. Joseph Go To Joseph For Children SUPPORT OUR APOSTOLATE Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love what we do and pray that it is a blessing to you and your families. If you are benefitting in some way from what we're doing read and subscribe to our Substack: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/ Our Apostolate About Us Connect with us and send us a message on Instagram YouTube Channel Support the show BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES 📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking 📕 Pre-Order The Quest For The Male Soul: Discover What Your Life Is For https://a.co/d/08A9vSRh Alto from Ascension’s learn more and subscribe to Alto: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/redirect?tc=WfiAGx9e&aff=yiwH1nGSUbss9NbfLPx5K Our Merch https://www.two-become-family-shop.fourthwall.com ✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com 🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for 🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: ...