Advertise on podcast: YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton

Hard conversations have a way of showing up late at night—right when one partner wants to talk it through and the other needs space. In Part 1 of my conversation with Jana (an ADHD resilience coach) and her husband, Matt (a neurotypical engineer), we unpack the “thinker/feeler” dynamic, nervous system dysregulation, and the pursuer–retreater cycle that can keep couples stuck. You’ll hear the practical tools that helped them shift the pattern, including active listening, pausing for your “best self,” and a surprisingly effective strategy: recording tough conversations to spot misunderstandings and reset the narrative.   Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fqSeYWbrnCc   Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

When emotions run high, meltdowns happen, and communication breaks down, what helps neurodiverse couples stay connected? In Part 2 of this conversation, Randall and Ashley share how they’ve learned to manage overload, communicate through shutdowns, and rebuild calm after conflict. Ashley explains how Jodi’s “I’m okay” mantra helps her separate Randall’s emotions from her own, while Randall describes the tools that help him prevent meltdowns—like weighted blankets, routines, and clear recovery time. Together, they reveal how empathy, preparation, and boundaries create safer connection and a stronger marriage. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LR3i_mUUiPQ Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

Holidays, routines, and even dishwashers can test any couple—but for neurodiverse partners, those differences can feel magnified. In this episode, Jodi talks with Randall and Ashley about what they’ve learned since discovering Randall’s autism and how it’s changed their relationship for the better. They share simple but powerful tools—like Jodi’s “2-or-10” scale for deciding what’s worth energy, and the “I’m okay” mantra that helps calm emotional overload. Together, they show how curiosity, communication, and empathy can make all the difference in a neurodiverse relationship. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aGgmicw8wu4 Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

The holidays can be stressful for any couple—but for neurodiverse partners, surprises, travel, and changes in routine can make the season especially tough. In this short bonus episode, Jodi shares a sneak peek from her upcoming interview with Randall and Ashley Rowland, who open up about what makes holidays challenging for them and the “plan B” strategies that keep things calm and connected. It’s just 9 minutes long, and it might make your holidays a little easier too. Watch this bonus episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8AztxuKAFjQ Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships Get access to Jodi's Holiday Stress Buster Toolkit for Neurodiverse Couples and learn practical tools to help your holidays run smoothly.

When you first realize that autism or ADHD is part of your relationship, it’s so common to encounter “doomsday” narratives online—stories that make neurodiverse couples feel destined for disconnection. In this episode, Mike and Amy are back for Part 2 to share what actually happens after the discovery and how they’ve stayed connected through burnout, resentment, emotional differences, and communication challenges. Mike was identified as autistic in adulthood, long after their relationship began. Together, they talk honestly about the shifts they had to make, the misunderstandings that once felt overwhelming, and the unexpected strengths autism brings into their home and partnership. If you missed Part 1, I encourage you to listen to that episode first. It covers how they discovered Mike is autistic and the early strategies that helped them build a more workable, sustainable rhythm together. In this episode, we talk about: Why so much advice about autistic–neurotypical couples feels negative The strengths, focus, and “superpowers” autism brings into daily life How Mike recognizes autistic burnout earlier and what helps prevent shutdowns The difference between being angry at your partner vs. angry about the situation How gender roles and emotional labor shape hetero neurodiverse relationships Communication tools that have made a difference—soft startups, scripting, and meta-messages What both autistic and allistic partners need when they’re at different stages of awareness or acceptance We also speak directly to therapists and coaches about the importance of understanding neurodiversity as its own specialty and how easily it’s misidentified without the right training. About Today's Guests Mike and Amy have been together for 18 years. Mike discovered he is autistic four years ago, which opened up a completely new understanding of their relationship dynamic. Today, he advocates for autistic adults and is currently writing a forthcoming memoir on late-diagnosed autism. Amy is a licensed therapist in Illinois and a coach for clients in other states. She specializes in supporting autistic adults, partners in neurodiverse relationships, and parents raising neurodivergent children. She also trains other clinicians in recognizing adult autism and working effectively with neurodiverse couples. Connect with Amy: [email protected] Learn more: prairiewellness.org About Your Host I’m Jodi Carlton, a neurodiverse relationship coach with more than 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, educator, and author. As a neurodivergent woman who spent 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raised neurodivergent children, I bring both professional expertise and lived experience to this work. I help individuals, couples, and families around the world find clarity, confidence, and connection in their neurodiverse relationships. Explore resources, quizzes, and courses: jodicarlton.com Questions? Contact me: [email protected]  

When autism or ADHD first shows up in a relationship—especially through a late diagnosis—it can feel confusing, overwhelming, or even destabilizing. Many couples begin searching for answers only to find negative, discouraging narratives about neurodiverse partnerships. In this episode, I talk with Mike and Amy, a couple who discovered as adults that Mike is autistic. Their story is deeply relatable for anyone navigating a new understanding of neurodiversity in themselves or their partner. They share openly about the early misunderstandings, mismatched expectations, and emotional tensions that shaped their marriage—and the strategies they put in place to protect their connection instead of slipping into resentment. This conversation offers a grounded, human look at what really happens when a diagnosis reframes your entire relationship dynamic. In this episode, we talk about: How Mike’s late autism discovery reshaped their understanding of past conflicts The early signs and communication patterns they didn’t recognize at the time Why so many couples feel “blindsided” before diagnosis How masking, missed cues, and emotional differences created tension What helped them shift from frustration to clarity The early strategies that made life more workable and reduced resentment How they built trust and safety while adjusting to a major identity shift Mike and Amy’s honesty brings so much relief to listeners who feel alone, confused, or stuck in patterns they can’t explain. Their story also sets the foundation for Part 2, where we explore burnout, emotional labor, and more advanced communication tools. About Mike & Amy Mike and Amy have been together for 18 years. Mike discovered he is autistic four years ago, which provided language and clarity for years of misunderstandings neither of them knew how to name. Today, Mike advocates for autistic adults through writing and organizational leadership. Amy is a licensed therapist and coach who specializes in supporting autistic adults, their partners, and parents raising neurodivergent children. 📧 Connect with Amy: [email protected] 🌐 Learn more: prairiewellness.org — About Your Host I’m Jodi Carlton, a neurodiverse relationship coach with more than 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, educator, and author. I’m also neurodivergent myself, diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. My work is rooted in both clinical expertise and lived experience—19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children. I help neurodiverse couples and families gain clarity, communication skills, and emotional confidence so their relationships can genuinely thrive. Explore resources, quizzes, and courses: jodicarlton.com Questions? Contact my team: [email protected]

Can a neurodiverse relationship thrive long-term—even when the work feels messy, nonlinear, and hard? In Part 3, the final episode of this roundtable series, Jodi and the panel of neurodiversity experts explore the skills that make progress possible: forgiveness, repair after conflict, and practical tools that help partners bridge intent and impact. This conversation digs into what progress actually looks like (hint: it’s not linear), why discomfort is part of the process, and how couples build something that works for them—not just what’s “supposed to” work. 💬 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: How forgiveness can support healing without minimizing real pain What effective repair looks like when most problems are ongoing, not “fixed” Why tools and strategies matter more than “it should be natural” thinking How to tolerate uncertainty and stay connected through discomfort Key markers that show a couple is moving forward together Whether you’re navigating a neurodiverse relationship yourself, supporting someone you love, or working with couples in this space, this conversation is packed with real insight and practical strategies you can start using right away.   👉 Missed Part 1? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rXeUypJeQX4?si=yz0jiOYVdGy007-J  👉 Missed Part 2? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rqW5GRhu5Fs    📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 01:56 – Progress Looks Messy: Awareness, Micro-steps, and Tolerance 07:26 – Forgiveness, Healing, and Real Repair (Gottman Lens) 11:35 – Lived Experience + A Daily “Autism Moment” Journal Tool 18:03 – Stop “It Should Be Natural”: Tools That Fit Neurotypes 22:46 – Intent vs. Impact, Acceptance, and Calling Out Toxic Dynamics 27:20 – Forgiveness for You, Acceptance ≠ Approval, “Space Between Stories” 31:14 – Markers of Progress: Impact Over Intent, Build Your Own Tools 👋🏼 Meet the Experts: This episode features insights from: Laura Schreiner – Licensed counselor (IL) specializing in neurodivergent individuals & couples.  https://www.laurasnc.com Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. – Host of Neurodiverse Love Podcast, creator of Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards & Workbook, and organizer of the Neurodiverse Love Conference. https://www.neurodiverselove.com Heidi Hackney – ICF-certified coach, mentor, & co-founder of Autistic Voiceover Artists (AVA), supporting autistic adults in the voiceover industry. https://thecan-docoach.com Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference, and co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes – Autism researcher, ordained minister, author of Uniquely Us, and host of Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. https://www.holmesasr.com   Debbie King – Counselor specializing in neurodiverse relationships, trauma, & toxic family dynamics, offering global support via Zoom. Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com Jana Smith – Resilience and nervous system coach; expert in chronic illness and Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com   #neurodiverserelationship #autisminmarriage #adhd #forgiveness #repairafterconflict #cognitiveempathy #communicationtools #neurodiversity _________________________________________________ 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Find resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com  🔔 Subscribe & Follow for more real conversations and strategies to support #neurodiversecouples.

Accommodating neurodiversity doesn’t have to mean resentment or burnout. In this episode, we explore how a neurodiverse relationship can thrive when both partners learn to balance self-accommodation and mutual respect. Coaches Jeremy & Charity Rochford show how neurodivergent partners can self-accommodate (not outsource to neurotypical spouses) and how neurotypical partners can set boundaries that protect their own bandwidth. You’ll learn concrete tools—transition buffers, noise strategies, visual timers—and how a shared relationship system replaces score-keeping with reciprocity. If you’ve been told to “just run” from a neurodiverse relationship, this episode offers a smarter path. Jeremy (autistic) & Charity (neurotypical) (hosts of the NeuroFam podcast) join Jodi to show how reframing autism/ADHD from problem to predictable pattern unlocks real solutions. We dig into practical rituals that improve connection without enmeshment, plus we explore why “effort is invisible” and how accommodations can increase connection instead of being sacrifices for either partner. Jeremy explains his “software upgrade” mindset (strengthening theory of mind/executive function like training a muscle), while Charity shares how compassion + structure reduce resentment. You’ll leave with scripts, rituals, and a way to accommodate needs without erasing yourself. 00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – Meet Jeremy & Charity 04:45 – Autism isn’t the problem: Updating the ‘80s narrative 09:40 – How kid diagnoses led to adult discoveries (and relief) 14:20 – Compassion shifts: Seeing sensory overload vs. “too much” 18:30 – “Software upgrades”: Building empathy & executive function 22:10 – Accommodations that work: Earbuds, car rules, visual timers 29:10 – Resentment vs reciprocity: Why effort is invisible 33:00 – Build a marriage system: Make expectations explicit 35:20 – Accommodate without erasing yourself (Disney example) 👥 Meet Jeremy & Charity Rochford Jeremy and Charity Rochford—known as Team Rochford—are certified life coaches and co-founders of NeuroFam, where they specialize in coaching for neurodiverse couples, parents, and families. Married for 25 years and raising two autistic children, they blend professional expertise (Jeremy has a BA in Communication Studies; Charity a BA in Psychology) with lived experience to deliver a truly balanced perspective. NeuroFam’s coaching is forward-focused and results-based—helping families create practical systems, reduce resentment, and build relationships that thrive. Jeremy works primarily with autistic/ADHD men, fathers, and young adults, while Charity supports neurotypical partners, mothers, and women navigating ND/NT family dynamics.   🔗 Resources Mentioned in This Episode NeuroFam website https://www.neurofam.com NeuroFM Podcast https://www.ourneurofam.com/neuro-fm-podcast Book: Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen https://www.stoneandheen.com/thanks-feedback Course: How to Communicate in Your Neurodiverse Relationship https://jodicarlton.com/courses/relationship-2-0-crack-the-communication-code/ Tony Attwood https://www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com/ — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 🔔 Help the algorithm help other couples — Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships. #NeurodiverseRelationship #AutismInMarriage #ADHD

Autistic + ADHD partners often collide around regulation. Here’s how to stop the clashes and build connection with real-world scripts, rituals, and repeatable practices. If you need clear, practical tools to make a neurodiverse relationship feel calmer and more connected, this episode delivers! Jodi and licensed counselor Greg Fuqua (late-identified autistic) break down exactly how autistic self-regulators and ADHD co-regulators can stop clashing and start syncing up—so both partners feel seen, safe, and respected.   Greg shares the exact rituals he and his wife use after 30+ years together—like a 20–30 minute transition buffer before reconnecting after time apart, a simple “commute-call” habit that creates connection without pressure, and a prepare → attune → debrief framework for handling events like parties or family gatherings.   You’ll hear why effort often feels invisible, why “fair” doesn’t always mean equal, and how shifting from content fights to process check-ins changes everything. We also dig into scripts for setting capacity limits, what shutdowns and alexithymia look like, and a quick connect → ground rhythm you can try today.   If you missed Part 1, circle back for the mindset shifts that make these tools stick.   💡 This episode is especially helpful for: Autistic–ADHD couples who keep clashing over how they calm down or connect Partners who want closeness without losing themselves (empathy + boundaries) Late-identified adults looking for simple scripts and daily rituals to cut conflict and feel safer together 00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:48 – When couples therapy backfires (“the wrongness trap”) 03:02 – Self-regulation vs. co-regulation in ASD and ADHD 06:43 – The 20–30 minute transition ritual that prevents conflict 09:10 – Why effort is invisible and scorekeeping fails 17:14 – The commute-call ritual for daily attunement 20:26 – Two rules for safety in communication 26:53 – The couple’s event game plan: Prepare → Attune → Debrief 31:24 – Reflection over rehashing: how growth really happens   About Greg Fuqua: Greg Fuqua, MA, LMHC, is a late-identified autistic therapist specializing in neurodiverse counseling and couples therapy. With over 30 years of personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage, Greg brings rare insight to his clinical work, blending lived experience with professional expertise. Formerly a professional artist and art professor for 23 years, Greg integrates creativity and empathy into his strength-based, person-centered approach. He is an Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS) and Level 2 AANE-trained neurodiverse couples therapist, as well as co-host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast with Mona Kay. Greg leads Divergent Counseling in West Des Moines, IA, where he supports individuals, couples, families, and organizations in building healthier, more authentic relationships. Resources: Greg’s website: https://www.gregfuqua.com/ Neurodiverse Connections Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@NeurodivergentConnections/featured More from Jodi: Visit jodicarlton.com (free resources, assessments, and courses) • Watch Part 2 of my conversation with Greg: Coming Soon: October 1! Questions? Email: [email protected] — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.   🔔 Help the algorithm help other couples—Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Why do neurodiverse couples clash so often? Licensed counselor Greg Fuqua shares the hidden patterns—and how to finally break them. If your neurodiverse relationship feels like a boxing ring—or you keep looping the same arguments—this episode gives you a new playbook. Jodi sits down with licensed counselor Greg Fuqua (late-identified autistic) to talk about what really changes things: shifting from blame to inner work, breaking the cycle of “negative assumptions of wrongness,” and why individual therapy often helps autistic/ADHD couples more than traditional couples counseling.   Greg also shares the turning point in his own 30-year marriage: a career collapse, intrusive suicidal thoughts, and the affect-based therapy that cracked open his emotions and rebuilt his capacity for connection.   You’ll come away with practical language you can use today, a clearer map of autistic–neurotypical differences as strengths (not flaws), and a preview of Part 2, where we dive into specific co-regulation and attunement tools you can practice at home.   💡 This episode is especially helpful for: Autistic/ADHD–NT couples who keep circling the same argument Late-identified adults reframing a lifetime of “why am I like this?” Partners tired of score-keeping who want practical, non-pathologizing tools 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 01:06 – Meet Greg Fuqua: Late-Identified Autistic Therapist 01:51 – Why Neurodivergent Therapists See Things Differently 02:30 – Inside AANE’s Level 2 Couples Training 07:21 – Relational Trauma & the “Assumption of Wrongness” 12:33 – Greg’s 30-Year Marriage: Struggles, Turn-Taking & Survival 17:46 – From Suicidal Thoughts to Healing & Authenticity 29:21 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work About Greg Fuqua: Greg Fuqua, MA, LMHC, is a late-identified autistic therapist specializing in neurodiverse counseling and couples therapy. With over 30 years of personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage, Greg brings rare insight to his clinical work, blending lived experience with professional expertise. Formerly a professional artist and art professor for 23 years, Greg integrates creativity and empathy into his strength-based, person-centered approach. He is an Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS) and Level 2 AANE-trained neurodiverse couples therapist, as well as co-host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast with Mona Kay. Greg leads Divergent Counseling in West Des Moines, IA, where he supports individuals, couples, families, and organizations in building healthier, more authentic relationships.   Resources Greg’s website: https://www.gregfuqua.com/ More from Jodi: Visit jodicarlton.com (free resources, assessments, and courses) Questions? Email: [email protected] — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

What It’s Like to Be Face Blind in a Neurodiverse Relationship   Ever mistaken a stranger for your spouse? Journalist and author Sadie Dingfelder has—because she’s face blind. In this episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship, Sadie and her husband Steve share what it’s like to navigate marriage when both partners are neurodivergent in different ways.   From ADHD to prosopagnosia (face blindness), this conversation is filled with relatable moments, honest insights, and laugh-out-loud stories. Sadie discusses how discovering her own neurodivergence led to writing her debut book, “Do I Know You?”, while Steve reflects on living with ADHD since childhood and what finally helped him understand how his brain works. Together, they talk with host Jodi Carlton about cognitive empathy, relationship conflict, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverse marriage thrive.   If you're in a neurodiverse relationship—or love someone who is—this episode offers validation, wisdom, and the reminder that being “on the same team” is everything.   00:00 – Welcome to Season Five 01:00 – “I Thought I Was Neurotypical”: Meet Sadie & Steve 04:40 – Mistaking a Stranger for Your Spouse?! Discovering Face Blindness 09:15 – How COVID Changed Everything in Their Marriage 13:50 – “We’re Living in Different Realities”: Cognitive Empathy Explained 19:10 – ADHD Meds, Creativity & Finding What Actually Works 25:00 – The Secret to Making Neurodiverse Relationships Work   ✨ About Sadie Dingfelder & Steve Hay: Sadie Dingfelder is a science journalist with a sharp wit and a deep curiosity about hidden neurodiversity. In her debut book, “Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory, and Imagination”, she unpacks what it’s like to live with prosopagnosia (face blindness) while taking readers on a fascinating tour of the brain’s inner workings. A former reporter for the Washington Post Express, Sadie is known for blending humor and insight—whether she’s reviewing every bathroom on the National Mall or playing a priceless Stradivarius at the Smithsonian. Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, National Geographic, Washingtonian, and other major publications.   Steve Hay is an engineer and aspiring scientist who is currently developing an augmented reality art project that simulates prosopagnosia by using AI to subtly distort faces in real time. Before turning his focus to brain and perception research, Steve worked as a Navy nuclear engineer and later in the green energy sector, applying AI and machine learning to grid-scale energy storage. His work blends scientific insight, creative experimentation, and a knack for making the invisible visible.   📚 Check out Sadie’s book “Do I Know you? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination.” https://www.amazon.com/Know-You-Faceblind-Reporters-Imagination/dp/0316545147  — 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.   👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com    🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

In a Neurodiverse Relationship, what happens after you fall in love—but still have to figure out how to live, love, and parent? In Part 2 of this Season 5 episode with Jodi, Adam and Becca James go even deeper into the realities of a neurodiverse marriage. Becca is autistic and ADHD (AuDHD). Adam is neurotypical. Together, they’ve reached millions on TikTok with raw, relatable content about neurodivergent relationships. Together, they open up about the day-to-day realities of a neurodiverse relationship—from miscommunication and parenting stress to intimacy challenges, sensory overload, and the emotional friction that comes with constantly decoding each other’s world. With their signature mix of honesty and humor, they explore what it really means to stay connected when love languages clash and nothing feels simple. 💬 You’ll hear about: Why physical intimacy can feel impossible—and how they rebuilt it from scratch What happens when emotional cues are misread (and how they recover) The invisible mental load of affection, communication, and “showing up” The challenges of parenting as a neurodivergent mom How some people misunderstand their viral videos—and why they keep posting anyway Why understanding each other isn’t a goal—it’s a practice What keeps them committed, even on the hardest days Whether you're married to someone with autism, parenting through sensory stress, or just trying to better understand your neurodivergent partner, this episode is a heartfelt continuation of a conversation that’s making thousands feel seen. 📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 00:57 – Meet Adam & Becca: Viral TikTok Couple 01:36 – Misunderstandings, Meltdowns & Missed Signals 03:12 – Using Humor to Survive Neurodivergent Life 10:29 – Family Expectations vs. Neurodivergent Needs 14:42 – When Physical Affection Feels Overwhelming 17:22 – Autism, Intimacy & Rebuilding a Sexual Connection 20:20 – The Gap Between Neurotypical & Neurodivergent Brains 21:46 – Rethinking How Relationships “Should” Work 23:44 – Why Intentional Understanding Keeps Us Together 26:05 – Miscommunication in Marriage: It's Not What You Think 33:29 – Parenting With Limited Bandwidth 37:14 – The Poisoner’s Almanac: Becca’s Special Interest 38:55 – Final Thoughts + Resources for Neurodiverse Couples ✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious. Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike. Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science. Mentioned in this episode: 🎧 Adam & Becca’s podcast: The Poisoner’s Almanac – a true crime-meets-science deep dive into historical and modern poisons, created around Becca’s special interest. 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.   👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com   🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

❓ What happens when two people fall in love and one is neurodivergent? They go viral on social media! 📈 In this episode, Jodi chats with Adam and Becca, a neurodiverse couple whose viral TikToks have racked up millions of views. Their videos offer an unfiltered look into the realities of a neurodiverse relationship—and their honest, often hilarious conversations have helped hundreds of thousands of viewers feel less alone. Together, they share what it’s really like navigating marriage with autism and ADHD in the mix: from sensory overload and autistic burnout to faith deconstruction, parenting struggles, emotional disconnects, and wildly mismatched love languages. Becca opens up about her late autism diagnosis, how masking nearly broke her, and why even small moments of affection can feel overwhelming. Adam reflects on how being a neurotypical husband has challenged him to rethink communication, connection, and what support truly looks like. 💬 You’ll hear about: -How they met and fell in love despite major differences -Becca’s late autism diagnosis and what finally made everything click -How masking, meltdowns, and burnout shaped their early years of marriage -The tension between physical touch and sensory boundaries -Why Adam’s humor is more than just comic relief—it’s a lifeline -The role faith and religious deconstruction played in reshaping their connection -What it means to truly be seen—and chosen—by someone wired differently If you've ever wondered what "opposites attract" looks like in a neurodiverse relationship, this episode is a must-listen! 📍 Episode Timestamps: 0:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work? 01:00 – Meet Adam & Becca: A Quirky First Encounter 03:00 – Burnout, Meltdowns & the Cost of Masking 06:00 – Autism, Sensory Overload & the Need for Space 10:40 – Parenthood, Shutdowns & Surviving the Early Years 18:55 – Late Diagnosis, Big Realizations 20:45 – From Toxic Church Culture to Mental Clarity 25:00 – How Opposites Communicate (and Miscommunicate) 28:50 – Choosing Each Other, Every Day 34:25 – Why Laughter Helps More Than You Think  ✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious. Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike. Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science. 💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI. 🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai  👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com   🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Can a neurodiverse relationship still see change when only one partner works on it? What if you’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to stick? In Part 2 of this roundtable discussion, Jodi and the panel of leading neurodiversity professionals return to explore how coaching (versus therapy), nervous system regulation, and identifying options can help couples shift out of stuck patterns—even when one partner isn’t engaged in the work. If you’re trying to decide whether to stay, leave, or redefine what being together looks like, this conversation offers real-life strategies, hope, and clarity. 💬 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: The difference between coaching and traditional therapy—and when each is most effective Why regulating your nervous system is key to better communication Practical tools for rewiring the brain and shifting harmful patterns How to navigate decision-making, boundaries, and even separation with clarity and self-trust What to look for in a therapist or coach to determine who actually understands neurodiversity - versus someone who “knows someone that was neurodivergent” How healing is possible even if only one partner is doing the work Whether you're in a neurodiverse relationship, supporting a loved one, or working as a professional in this space, this episode offers real tools, compassionate insight, and hopeful next steps. 👉 Missed Part 1? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rXeUypJeQX4?si=1GiWaeRK5PhrWS59  00:00 Welcome Back: Season 5 & this Expert Panel Episode 00:57 Real-Life Experience from Neurodiverse Professionals 03:15 Why Traditional Couples Therapy Often Falls Short 04:49 Coaching vs. Counseling: What Works for Neurodiverse Couples 06:05 Nervous System Regulation & Expanding Capacity 08:52 When Only One Partner Is Willing to Do the Work 13:02 Discernment: Stay, Go, or Redefine the Relationship 21:42 How to Know If a Therapist Really Gets Neurodiversity 27:45 Red Flags, Abuse, and Boundaries in Neurodiverse Marriages 28:25 Closing Thoughts & Resources 👋🏼 Meet the Experts: This episode features insights from: Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC – Neurodiverse couples coach, co-host of Neurodiverse Couples Coaches Corner, and co-author of Uniquely Us. https://bg-hc.com Jana Smith – Resilience and nervous system coach; expert in chronic illness and Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference, and co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com Heather Parks – Somatic coach specializing in neurodiverse families; co-host of Loving Difference and Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://heatherparks.co.uk Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com  👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Find resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com   🔔 Subscribe & Follow for more real conversations and strategies to support neurodiverse couples.

How do you stay in a neurodiverse marriage for the long haul? In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, counselor Laura Schreiner returns to share what she and her autistic husband have learned in over 20 years together—especially after discovering neurodivergence mid-marriage. With warmth and wisdom, Laura and host Jodi Carlton explore what real growth looks like in neurodiverse marriages—from learning to set emotional boundaries to releasing the pressure to “fix” each other. 💬 You’ll hear Laura unpack: Why setting boundaries with your kids is just as important as with your partner How her husband’s communication “black belt” surprised her  What changed when she detached from emotional outcomes Why understanding your own expectations is essential—especially if you're the one doing all the work Her husband’s take: “We’re not opposites. We’re complementary puzzle pieces.” This conversation is packed with real insight for #neurotypical and #neurodivergent partners alike—plus a lot of humor and humanity! 📍 Episode Timestamps: 00:00 Intro & Why You Shouldn’t Miss Part 1 01:24 Setting Boundaries as a Neurodivergent Parent 03:50 “Fixing Autism” vs. Doing the Personal Work 06:02 Her Communication “Black Belt” Analogy 07:07 How Feelings are Impacted by What We Choose to Believe 09:19 Somatic Tools for Regulating Relationship Tension 11:39 Doing the Inner Work—Even If the Relationship Doesn’t Last 14:37 How One Breakthrough Shifted Their Marriage 17:06 Codependency, Expectations & the Myth of the “Perfect Partner” 19:16 What If Leaving Isn’t So Simple? 24:24 How We Define Progress in Neurodiverse Relationships 29:01 Letting Go of Expectations & Receiving What’s Given 34:00 We Both Still Like Chicken 35:00 “We’re Complementary Puzzle Pieces” (Her Husband’s Final Insight) ✨ About Laura Schreiner: Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life. Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership. To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit www.laurasnc.com  👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29  💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI. 🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai #neurodiversemarriage #communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #neurodivergentlove #emotionalboundaries #relationshipadvice 👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change. 👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com  🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.