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How do you share responsibilities in marriage without keeping score? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy talk about what it means to be true partners, especially when life changes and responsibilities shift. They discuss why equal doesn't always mean fair, how unspoken expectations can lead to resentment, and why feeling appreciated and seen matters so much in marriage. You'll also hear practical ways to talk about the things that feel unfair, serve one another with a Christlike attitude, and build rhythms that keep you connected. Marriage isn't about keeping track of who does more. It's about learning to come alongside each other, give grace, and work together as a team with God at the center.    Top Takeaways: Healthy partnerships aren't always 50/50.  Unspoken expectations can lead to resentment.  Serving your spouse is more important than keeping score.    Quotes from this Episode: 1. "The danger isn't an uneven load. It's when one spouse starts to feel alone, unseen, or taken for granted." 2. "Equal isn't the same as fair. Sometimes you just have to give and take. It's for the common good of the team." — Mrs. Nancy 3. "This isn't 50-50. It's 100-100. You're both in, and you're working together on it." — Dr. Kim 4. "A lot of scorekeeping is really a fight for significance. I need to know what I'm doing matters, and you see me doing it." — Dr. Kim 5. "Being a student of your spouse and letting them show you, and maybe sometimes tell you directly what they need. And then come alongside them." — Dr. Kim 6. "We expect our spouse to read our mind and know what our expectations are. So it's a really good tool to talk about what's realistic and what's not." — Dr. Kim 7. "When you come to a conversation that might be difficult, you pray about it first. Ask God to give you the right words and to help you be empathetic with your spouse." — Dr. Kim 8. "How do I serve you today? How do I come alongside you today? That trumps scorekeeping." — Dr. Kim 9. "I want you to know that I care enough that I'm going to do the things to make your life better." — Dr. Kim 10. "Remember, you're not invisible to God. God sees it all, knows it all, and is ready to help you through it all." — Dr. Kim Time to Think About It: Are there any responsibilities in your marriage that feel uneven right now?  What is one thing your spouse does that makes you feel supported or appreciated?  How can you be a better team in this season of marriage?    Mentioned in this Episode: Need a healthy guide to communicate expectations: The Marriage Expectations Worksheet If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series.  Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. This plan is specifically for struggling marriages: One Foot Out the Door If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Infidelity can shatter more than a marriage. It can shake your sense of safety, identity, family, and even faith. But what happens when a couple chooses to face the pain, do the hard work of healing, and allow God to write a new chapter in their story? Today, Dr. Kim sits down with Carl and Laura Lentz, authors of Overcoming Infidelity: 10 Conversations to Help Heal the Hurt. They share honestly about the devastation of betrayal and the long road toward rebuilding trust. Carl talks about the importance of taking ownership, honesty, and accountability, while Laura shares what healing looked like for her, including navigating triggers, finding safe people, and learning to feel safe again. Together, they discuss forgiveness, counseling, vulnerability, and helping children navigate a family crisis. If your marriage has been impacted by betrayal, or you're walking alongside someone who is hurting, this conversation offers an honest look at the work of healing and the hope that can come through God's grace. Your story doesn't have to end at its hardest chapter.   Key Takeaways: Healing begins with honesty and ownership.  Forgiveness, trust, and safety are not the same thing.  Your hardest chapter doesn't have to be the end of your story.    Quotes from this Episode: Carl Lentz: 1. "If I can't own it, I can't get the power from change." 2. "It's either all honesty or none." 3. "You cannot heal in isolation." 4. "Forgiveness and trust are two very different things. Forgiveness and access, wildly different things." 5. "Your story doesn't have to end at the worst, hardest chapter." Laura Lentz: 1. "We've got, we call it marriage 2.0, and it's better than it ever was." 2. "If you don't talk about it, it doesn't go anywhere." 3. "The number one question he still asks me today is, 'How can I make you feel safe today?'" 4. "Him telling me his feelings is one of the greatest things he could do." 5. "I wanted to heal from this. I didn't want to hold that and be like, he's the one that did the wrong."   Time to Talk About it:  1. What stood out to you most from Carl and Laura's story? Was there anything that challenged or changed the way you think about healing and forgiveness? 2. How can we make it easier for each other to be honest about our feelings, struggles, and fears without worrying about being judged or dismissed? 3. What helps each of us feel safe, valued, and secure in our marriage? Are there small, intentional ways we could do a better job of creating that safety for one another? 4. Who are the trusted people or professionals we could turn to if we faced a difficult season in our marriage? How can we make sure we don't try to navigate hard things alone? Mentioned in This Episode: Overcoming Infidelity: 10 Conversations to Help Heal the Hurt. Find Carl and Laura on Instagram Awesome Marriage has an Online Affair Recovery course to help you navigate the aftermath of infidelity. Use code: AWESOMEMARRIAGE for 10% off the cost of the course.  Your marriage needs God's Word. Awesome Marriage partners with YouVersion to make it easy for couples to get in the Word together. Check out this plan: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Is your marriage too far gone? When a marriage has been marked by betrayal, years of unresolved conflict, emotional distance, or simply feeling more like roommates than spouses, it can be hard to imagine things ever getting better. You may have prayed, tried to talk, waited, and wondered if there is anything left to work with. Today, Dr. Kim tackles that difficult question honestly: Is your marriage too far gone? He talks about the difference between discouragement and hopelessness, what biblical hope looks like when circumstances aren't changing, and why God's idea of redemption may look different than we expect. He also shares what you can do when you're fighting for your marriage but your spouse isn't, and how to invite God into the healing process without trying to control what only God can change. If your marriage feels broken, heavy, or beyond repair, this conversation is a reminder that your story isn't finished and that your hope can be anchored in who God is, not in what your circumstances look like today. Episode Highlights Why hope in God is stronger than optimism about your circumstances. What redemption really looks like in a struggling marriage. The habits that invite healing instead of hopelessness. How to trust God when your marriage feels too far gone.   Quotes from this Episode: "Discouragement says, 'I don't see how this gets better.' Hopelessness says, 'It can't.' The first is a feeling that deserves to be honored. The second is a conclusion that deserves to be challenged." "No marriage is beyond what God can do. That doesn't mean every marriage is restored the way we picture it, or on the timeline we demand, but it does mean that the God who specializes in resurrection is not intimidated by broken marriage." "We come to Him asking to fix the relationship. He comes in wanting to transform the people in the relationship." "Sometimes the miracle is the small movement." "Optimism says, 'I think this will work out.' Hope says, 'God is faithful regardless of how this works out.'" "You cannot control your spouse. You cannot manufacture their willingness, love them into change, or pray hard enough to override their free will. Only God can reach the heart of another person." "If your faith is anchored to who God is, to His character, His faithfulness, His sovereign love for you and for your spouse, that holds. Even when circumstances don't, even when the answer is not yet, even when the story isn't finished."   Time to Talk About It: Have I allowed disappointment to shape my view of my spouse more than God's promises? What is one area of my marriage that I need to surrender to God instead of trying to control? What evidence of God's faithfulness can I remember today that reminds me He is still working—even if I can't see it yet? Mentioned in this Episode: Don't give up yet. Try our 11 Things to do Before You Get a Divorce. Need a low pressure, on ramp back toward one another: 4 Week Connection Challenge. If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series.  Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. This plan is specifically for struggling marriages: One Foot Out the Door If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Loving Jesus doesn't mean loving your spouse will always be easy. But when loving your spouse becomes really hard, your relationship with Jesus gives you somewhere to go, not somewhere to hide. Today Dr. Kim is sitting down with Belah Rose of the Delight Your Marriage Podcast to talk about why Christian couples can love Jesus, love each other, and still find themselves feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure of what to do next. They talk about the impact of our family of origin, learning how to love our spouse in the way they actually receive love, the power of small acts of thoughtfulness, forgiveness, intimacy, and the importance of choosing to work on your marriage instead of simply settling for where it is. Because a healthy marriage doesn't happen because you never have problems. It happens when you are willing to keep growing, keep communicating, keep forgiving, and keep putting Christ at the center. If your marriage feels stuck right now, this conversation is a reminder that there are practical steps you can take, and your marriage is worth the work.   Top Takeaways: Being a Christian doesn't automatically make marriage easy.  Forgiveness frees us to move forward.  Small choices can change the atmosphere of your marriage.  Quotes from this Episode: Belah Rose: "When you forgive, you set a prisoner free, and then you realize it was you." Probably the strongest quote in the whole episode. "It's caring at a level that just shows, 'I love you, I cherish you, and I want you to feel cherished in this marriage.'" "When people who are stuck finally get it, it feels like they're free. It's like all the boulders and all the stuff on their back kind of falls off." "So many Christian marriages end up not really knowing how to love the other person, not having a good model, and then feeling like, 'What do I do?'" "God made us different for a reason. He wanted us to learn from each other and figure it out with His help." Dr. Kim: "Marriage isn't going to grow when you're holding on to unforgiveness." Short, strong, and very Dr. Kim. "You make such a difference when you walk in that door. You're either going to take things down or you're going to build things up." Excellent social graphic quote. "The action steps help you show your spouse that this is real this time. God is changing me." "We are not the poster couple, and we never will be because we are always working on it. But what we've found is the work gives great rewards." I really like this one for the Awesome Marriage audience. "On your way home, pray and give all the people you saw today to God. Put them in His hands. Then start thinking about what your wife and your kids are going to need."   Time to Talk About it:  What is one thing I do that makes you feel loved and cherished? Is there anything you wish I did more often? Are there any areas where we feel stuck or disconnected right now? What is one small step we could take together to move forward? Is there anything I need to forgive, or anything I need to ask forgiveness for, that could help us move forward in our marriage? When you think about the atmosphere of our home, what do you think we are building together? What is one thing we could do differently to make our home more peaceful and connected?   Mentioned in this Episode:  Be encouraged by Bella Rose on the Delight Your Marriage podcast. Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Need a low pressure, on ramp back toward one another: 4 Week Connection Challenge. If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series.  Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Our newest plan When Love Grows Cold is the perfect encouragement for a marriage that feels stuck.  If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Leadership can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also be incredibly lonely. Many leaders know how to build organizations, solve problems, and care for others, but few know how to care for themselves. In this episode of The Wider Lens, Dr. Kim sits down with Todd Vinson, author of Mountains of My Mind, to discuss the internal journey every leader eventually faces. Todd shares the personal crashes that forced him to rethink everything he believed about success, productivity, identity, and leadership. Together they explore why burnout isn't a leadership badge of honor, how self-awareness changes everything, and why leading from God's peace—not pressure—is the only sustainable way to build a lasting legacy. Whether you lead a ministry, a business, a nonprofit, or simply influence the people around you, this conversation will challenge you to become healthier so you can lead others better.   Episode Highlights Why burnout is often a symptom—not the real problem How healthy leaders build healthier organizations The connection between identity, peace, and sustainable leadership Practical rhythms every leader needs to avoid isolation and lead for the long haul   Quotes from This Episode: Todd Vinson: "It was never meant to be all up to you. We take on that burden and it's really a badge of honor that we carry." "If working hard is good, then working harder is better. And I think working harder just got me to the ditch faster." "My drug of choice was being a workaholic. That's where I got my identity because I was seeking approval." "Brokenness is a great leveler. It gets you to the end of yourself. And that really, that's what God wants to begin with." "Peace is a manifestation of that relationship with Christ. It's not dictated by the externals around me." "There's dying to yourself as it talks about in Scripture and neglecting yourself are two totally different things." "You've got to have other people to surround you. And that's not weakness. That's just called wisdom." Dr. Kim: "I don't think God really needed to rest on the seventh day personally because He's God. But He did. And He set something for us." "We've got to have a rhythm of rest. We've got to have margin in our lives. And it seems like those are the things that we squeeze out." "I think a lot of times as guys, we sometimes would discount what our wife might say and not value it in the way that I think our wives have wisdom and insight and discernment in ways that we just don't." "We weren't created to be a Lone Ranger. We were created to live in a community." "Life's a good teacher, but the tuition is expensive."

What do you do when you've prayed, waited, and hoped for things to change, but they don't? In this episode of the Awesome Marriage Podcast, Dr. Kim talks with Kristen Wetherell and Sarah Walton, authors of Jesus Will Meet You There, about what it looks like to hold onto faith when life feels painful, confusing, or completely out of your control. When illness, grief, disappointment, or struggles in marriage leave you wondering where God is, it can be easy to question His goodness or feel like you're walking through the hard season alone. Kristen and Sarah share honestly from their own experiences about trusting God when you can't see what He's doing—and how suffering can actually draw us closer to Him. They also talk about what happens in marriage when life gets hard, how spouses can support one another when one person's faith feels weak, and why your spouse was never meant to fill the space that only Christ can fill. You may not always have answers or see your circumstances change, but there is hope: Jesus meets you there.   Top Takeaways: Faith means trusting God even when you don't understand what He's doing.  Hard seasons can either divide a marriage or draw a couple closer together.  Your spouse can't fill the space that only Christ can fill.  Quotes from This Episode: Sarah Walton: "The more we fixate on each other's growth and on each other needing to be what we think they need to be, the more we're distracted from our own hearts." "What an opportunity we have as spouses to be the picture of Christ to each other." "How often when suffering and struggle comes into our lives, do we immediately turn against each other as though we are the enemy when really what we are facing right now is hardship?" "Preaching to our hearts the truth when our eyes can't see it is what we have to continually do."   Kristen Wetherall: "God has given us each other as an absolute gift to walk through this road together." "We cannot change our spouse's heart." "His job is the heart. That is what he can do. What we can do is we can pray for that heart." "There is not much more intimate than to literally pour out our hearts in a vulnerable manner and know that I can trust my spouse with my heart in this really fractured place."   Dr. Kim: "We've got to get past that expectation and let God do what he can do and then trust our spouse to God."  "I think especially the culture we live in where there's a lot of anger, there's a lot of stuff everywhere. And I think it's easy for a couple to buy into that. And then all of a sudden your spouse, instead of being your treasure that God gave you, the gift that God gave you becomes this enemy."    Time to Talk About it: Is there a place in your life where you are having a hard time holding on to faith because you don't understand what the Lord is doing? Is that place causing you to turn to your spouse or against them?  Are you expecting your spouse to fill a void that only the Lord can possibly fill?   Mentioned in this Episode: Connect with Kristen and Sarah. Get your copy of Jesus Will Meet You There. Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Need a low pressure, on ramp back toward one another: 4 Week Connection Challenge. If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series.  Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Continue to pursue your spouse by being a student of your spouse.  If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

What do you do when the butterflies are gone and you no longer feel "in love" with your spouse? If you've ever wondered whether fading feelings mean something is wrong with your marriage, you're not alone. In this honest and hope-filled solo episode, Dr. Kim unpacks why romantic feelings naturally change over time, the difference between love as a feeling and love as a choice, and how couples can begin finding their way back to one another. You'll discover why emotional disconnection often happens gradually, how small intentional steps can reignite closeness, and why God isn't finished writing your marriage story. If your relationship feels distant, this episode offers practical encouragement and biblical hope for rebuilding connection—one choice at a time.   Episode Takeaways: Why fading feelings don't have to mean your marriage is failing. The difference between love as a feeling and love as a daily choice. Practical steps to rebuild emotional connection and find your way back to each other. Quotes from This Episode: Dr. Kim Kimberling "Feelings are real. They matter. But they are information—not truth." "Don't let a fading feeling become a verdict on your marriage before you've figured out what it's trying to tell you." "The problem isn't that feelings change. The problem is believing that anything quieter than early romance means something is wrong." "Early love is about discovery and excitement. Mature love is about depth, history, and a knowing that only time can build." "If you're waiting to feel in love before you act in love, you may wait a very long time. But when you choose to act in love, the feelings often follow." "God didn't design love to be a noun you possess. He designed it to be a verb you practice." "Emotional disconnection usually doesn't happen because of one big event. It happens through neglect, not cruelty." "Love is rebuilt the same way it was built in the first place—through small moments of safety, honesty, laughter, and presence." "You don't have to fix everything this week. You just have to take the next right step." "Feelings aren't the final word on your marriage. The truth is that God is not finished with your marriage."   Time to Think About it: If I'm honest, what's really underneath my "I don't feel in love anymore" feelings—is it loneliness, fear, exhaustion, or something else? What's one intentional act of love I can choose this week, even if the feelings haven't fully returned yet? Have I been waiting for my feelings to change before investing in my marriage, or am I willing to take the first step toward connection today?   Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Need a low pressure, on ramp back toward one another: 4 Week Connection Challenge. If your marriage is struggling, try our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage email series.  Maybe you need to shift how you're viewing your marriage and your spouse. Our Reframing Challenge can help! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Continue to pursue your spouse by being a student of your spouse.  If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Healthy relationships don't happen by accident—they're built one skill at a time. In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with returning guest and licensed counselor Debra Fileta to talk about why so many marriages struggle, not because couples don't love each other, but because they haven't learned the skills to communicate that love well. Together they unpack practical ways to become better listeners, healthier communicators, and more intentional spouses. Whether you've been married for six months or sixty years, you'll walk away with simple, biblical tools to strengthen your connection, improve communication, and reflect the love of Christ in your marriage. Main Takeaways: Love isn't always the problem—sometimes it's a lack of relationship skills.  The healthiest communication starts with self-awareness.  Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse.  You don't have to wait for your spouse to change first.  Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim: "I think a lot of marriages aren't struggling because of a lack of love—they're struggling because couples haven't learned the skills to communicate that love well." "Jesus is our model for relationships. Nobody served like He did, and nobody loved people more intentionally." "When we really learn to listen to each other, it probably makes a bigger difference than almost anything else in marriage." "Don't settle for a marriage that's just surviving when God created your marriage to thrive." "The payoff of listening well is that your spouse doesn't just know you love them—they actually experience your love." "You don't have to wait for your spouse to change before you begin obeying what God is asking of you." "Good communication isn't something you master once. It's something you keep growing in through every season of marriage." "Sometimes we think we're communicating because we're talking, but communication doesn't happen until our spouse feels heard." "If you invest intentionally in your marriage today, you'll be grateful for it in every season that comes tomorrow."   ___________________________________________________________________ Debra Fileta: "It's often not a lack of love—it's a lack of skill." "Relationships are only as strong as the skills we bring into them." "God wants us to become more like Him, not more like us." "Nothing changes if nothing changes." "People skills aren't about getting people to like you more—they're about helping you communicate God's love more effectively." "Just because you start a sentence with 'I feel' doesn't mean you're actually sharing a feeling." "Healing means looking back at the things that served you in one season and asking whether they're sabotaging you in this season." "If a relationship is like a recipe, I can't change your ingredients—but I can change mine." "Most people hear about a book on people skills and immediately think of someone else who needs it. Real growth begins when you start with yourself." "Listening isn't waiting for your turn to speak. It's receiving what's being said." "The health of my marriage starts with my personal health. When I become healthier, I have more to offer my relationship."   Time to Talk About it:  Which relationship skill do you think would make the biggest difference in our marriage right now—listening, encouragement, expressing feelings, handling conflict, or something else? Why? Is there a communication habit or response you've carried from your family growing up that may be helping—or hurting—our relationship today? What's one practical change each of us can make this week that would help the other feel more seen, heard, and loved? How can we intentionally create at least 30 minutes this week to simply connect—not solve problems, but listen, encourage, and pray together?   Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Get your copy of People Skills: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as Your Skills. Your marriage communication needs intentional effort and investment: 30 Day Communication Challenge Sign up for our One Thing email series. One practical thing to do each day to grow your marriage! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Marriage communication is different- it needs your investment daily. Check out Achieving Awesome Communication in Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

Talking about sex can feel awkward—even with the person you love most. But avoiding the conversation doesn't make the issues disappear. It often creates more distance. In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy have an honest, grace-filled conversation about building a healthy sexual relationship through open communication, emotional safety, and mutual respect. They share lessons from their own marriage, discuss why every couple experiences different seasons of intimacy, and offer practical ways to have conversations about sex without shame, fear, or defensiveness. Whether you've been married for six months or sixty years, this episode will encourage you to communicate with honesty, pursue one another with love, and create an environment where intimacy can continue to grow. Main Takeaways: Every marriage experiences different seasons of intimacy—and that's normal. The healthiest conversations about sex happen when both spouses feel safe, heard, and respected. Comparison is one of the quickest ways to create dissatisfaction in your marriage. Small, honest conversations build stronger intimacy than avoiding difficult topics. A thriving sex life isn't about perfection—it's about pursuing one another with love, grace, and intentionality. Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim Kimberling "Our marriage is not just about sex. It's about all of life, and our intimacy has to fit the season we're in." "When you approach conversations about sex with love instead of criticism, you're setting your marriage up to grow instead of to fail." "Don't compare your marriage to Hollywood or someone else's story. You have to define what works best for the two of you." "Stay at the comfort level of the person who's least comfortable. There's always another way to build intimacy together." "It's not really about the quantity of sex—it's about the quality of the connection." "The goal isn't proving who's right. The goal is making your marriage better together."     Nancy Kimberling "We've always approached these conversations with love, not a critical spirit." "Nothing is more personal than your own body, so sharing it with someone else is the ultimate vulnerability." "Warmth is the best culture to keep between you when you're talking about intimacy." "Emotional safety is foundational. It's hard to be sexually vulnerable if you don't feel emotionally safe."   Time to Talk About it: What helps you feel the safest, most loved, and most connected to me—both emotionally and physically? Are there any conversations about our intimacy that we've been avoiding? If so, what's one small step we could take to talk about them with honesty and grace? What's one thing I do that makes you feel pursued, appreciated, or desired, and what's one thing I could do more often? What would it take to take our sex life up one point? How can we make that happen?   Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Our Love Making Survey is a great way to keep conversational loving rather than critical.  Sex is intended to be a gift for your marriage, if you're having a hard time talking about it with your spouse, try this resource: 62 Questions About Sex. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our 14 Keys to Lasting Love. Check it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

What does success really look like—and who gets to define it? In the final episode of this three-part conversation, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer to talk about the subtle ways we drift from our priorities without even realizing it. Together they unpack why saying "yes" to every good opportunity can cost us what matters most, how small daily habits shape the life we're building, and why true success isn't measured by titles or achievements but by living a life that's aligned with your values. Whether you're feeling stuck, stretched too thin, or simply wondering if you're chasing the right things, this conversation will challenge you to slow down, evaluate what's most important, and take one intentional step toward the life God is calling you to live.   Episode Highlights: Learn how "priority drift" quietly pulls you away from what matters most—and how to stop it. Why chasing alignment instead of success leads to greater freedom, purpose, and peace. Simple daily habits that create lasting change, both personally and professionally. Practical encouragement to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking the next right step. Quotes from This Episode: Tom Pfeifer: "Priority drift doesn't happen all at once. It's one extra meeting, one extra commitment, one extra 'yes.'" "Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else." "Success is what other people can see. Alignment is when the life you're living matches the values you say you have." "The best decision I ever made was to stop chasing success and start chasing alignment." "Sports are supposed to be fun. You're not going to war." "So many of the things we worry about are first-world problems." "Don't quit your job tomorrow. Start stacking proof one day at a time." "Your habits become discipline, and discipline will always outlast motivation." "Everyone has the same 24 hours. It's not about having time—it's about the choices you make." "Just do the thing. Take the first step and let tomorrow build on today." Dr. Kim Kimberling: "Culture doesn't pull us away from what matters overnight—it happens one small drift at a time." "When we say yes to too many good things, we often end up saying no to the people who matter most." "The hardest part of protecting your priorities is learning to say no." "You don't always realize you're drifting until you look up and wonder how you got so far from what matters." "Don't get impatient. Big life changes are built one step at a time." "Working out changes far more than your body—it changes your confidence and your mindset." "One day stacked on another becomes a habit, and habits shape the life you live." "Ask yourself: Are you drifting? And if you are, where is that drift taking you?" "The best opportunities aren't always the ones that align with your priorities." "You have to define success for yourself instead of letting culture define it for you."   Time to Talk About It:  Where have you noticed "priority drift" in your own life, and what's one step you can take to realign with what matters most? How do you currently define success? Has that definition changed over the years? What's one habit or daily choice that could help you become more intentional with your time, relationships, or calling?

Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your spouse thinking, "That's not what I meant at all"? Or wondered why you keep having the same argument over and over again? The truth is, most couples aren't struggling because they don't love each other, they're struggling because they communicate differently. In this episode, Dr. Kim is joined by licensed therapist and author Jason Van Ruler to unpack the five communication types and why understanding your spouse's communication style can completely change the way you approach conflict. They talk about why we so often take our differences personally, how stress affects the way we communicate, and why learning to truly listen may be the most powerful thing you can do for your marriage. If you've ever felt misunderstood or wished your spouse "just got you," this conversation will help you replace frustration with understanding and give you practical tools to communicate in a way that brings you closer instead of pushing you apart.   Episode Highlights: Why communication breaks down—and why it's probably not for the reason you think. Discover your communication type and learn how it shapes every conversation with your spouse. Simple shifts that will help you feel more seen, heard, and understood in your marriage. Stop taking communication differences personally and start using them to grow closer.   Quotes from This Episode: Jason VanRuler "We aren't very well versed in communicating for connection." "The more we feel we can't communicate, the more we believe the lie that our spouse must like it that way." "We're experts in what we meant, but we're not experts in what our spouse experienced." "Understanding your communication type takes the personal offense out of conflict and helps you ask, 'What did they mean?'" "A great communicator isn't someone who thinks they're communicating well—it's someone who understands how other people experience them." "When life gets hard, we all go back to our primary communication style. That's why understanding each other matters most in conflict." "From birth, we all want to feel seen, heard, and understood."   Dr. Kim Kimberling "Most couples don't know why they struggle to communicate—they just know it creates distance." "We're fighting our differences instead of embracing them and learning how they can strengthen our marriage." "Bad communication gets in the way of being a great team." "When I really learned to listen to Nancy, it changed our marriage." "Sometimes the simplest advice is the most powerful: let your spouse finish." "If you attack the problem, you can find a solution. If you dance around it, you'll never solve it." "The healthiest marriages keep working on communication because every season of life requires new ways of understanding each other."   Time to Talk About it: When do you feel the most heard and understood by me? Is there anything I could do differently to help you feel that way more often? Which communication style do you think describes each of us best, and how have our differences helped—or challenged—our marriage? What's one small change we could each make this week to communicate with more grace, patience, and understanding?   Mentioned in This Episode: You need to get your hand on Jason's new book: Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths To Deepen Connections and Stronger Relationships  Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Awesome Marriage wants you to grow your communication skills! Try our 30 Day Communication Challenge.  If communicating about money feels too big to tackle, this will help: 27 Money Questions Every Couple Should Ask. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our Achieving Awesome Communication in Marriage reading plan. Check out it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Our spouse hears messages every day from the world—criticism, pressure, comparison, and doubt. But what if home became the place where they were reminded of who they are, what they're capable of, and how deeply they're loved? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy talk about the power of encouragement in marriage and why your words carry more weight than anyone else's. They share personal stories from their own marriage, practical ways to encourage your spouse authentically, and how couples can replace patterns of criticism with a culture of support. Whether your marriage is thriving or you've fallen into a habit of negativity, this conversation will challenge you to become your spouse's greatest encourager.   Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim "I don't care what anyone else thinks. Hearing your encouragement makes all the difference in the world." "When your spouse gets more encouragement from someone else than from you, there's a void in the marriage." "Your encouragement is meant to build your spouse up, not put them in the box you want them to fit in." "The more you become a student of your spouse, the more you'll know how to encourage them in ways that truly matter." "When I ask God to help me see you through His eyes, I'm flooded with good things to tell you." "When you see yourselves as a team, encouragement becomes part of how you do life together."   Mrs. Nancy "Your spouse is the most important person in your life. What they say carries more weight than anyone else's words." "Sometimes we simply need our spouse to say, 'You can do this.' Those words can make all the difference." "Living in a fallen world makes negativity come naturally, but that's not how God designed our marriages." "Specific encouragement is powerful because it reminds your spouse of the unique gifts and strengths God has given them." "A look or a tone can discourage just as much as words." "When I pray for you, it changes my heart. It changes the way I see you."   Time to Talk About it: When do you feel the most encouraged by me? What specific words or actions help you feel seen, valued, and believed in? Have criticism or negativity become a habit in any area of our marriage? What's one intentional way we can replace those patterns with encouragement this week? How can I better support what God is doing in your life instead of trying to shape you into who I think you should be?   Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! Struggling with your attitude toward your spouse? Find it hard to encourage someone you feel disconnected from? Our Reframing Challenge will help! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage . Check it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Have you ever sincerely apologized to your spouse but felt like you were still paying for the mistake weeks or even months later? Or maybe you're the one carrying a hurt that just won't seem to heal, even though you've chosen to forgive. In this episode, Dr. Kim unpacks the important differences between forgiveness, healing, and trust—and why they don't all happen on the same timeline. He shares practical encouragement for both the spouse who has apologized and the spouse who is still hurting, offering biblical wisdom and realistic next steps for rebuilding trust, extending grace, and moving toward genuine healing together.   Episode Takeaways: Forgiveness is a standard and it's a choice.  Wounds take time to heal.  Trust is rebuilt through behavior, not just an apology.  There's a difference between a lingering hurt and using a past hurt as leverage.  Don't give up on one another.  Let your actions carry the weight!   Quotes from this episode: "You can't control your spouse's healing timeline. You can control whether you're showing up with humility and consistency." "Suppressed pain almost always surfaces later—usually at the worst possible moment and in the worst possible way." "The question isn't whether your spouse has forgiven you. The question might be whether you're giving them the space and time to heal." "Real healing requires honesty, not performance." "They chose honesty over pretending. They chose forgiveness over bitterness. And God honored that."   Time to Talk About it:  When you've been hurt by each other, do we tend to expect forgiveness, healing, and trust to happen at the same pace? How might understanding the difference between those three change the way we respond to one another? Is there an apology from the past that still feels unresolved for either of us? What would help us continue moving toward healing without reopening old wounds or keeping score? What's one practical way each of us can help rebuild trust this week—whether that's through consistent actions, honest communication, or extending grace? Mentioned in this Episode: Sign up for our daily One Thing email! If trust has been broken in your marriage, and you need a place to start, check out our Rebuilding Trust Challenge. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our Learning to Apologize Well reading plan. Check it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage—but it doesn't have to be. In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with financial coaches Dan and Kay Ockey to talk about why money is so much more than numbers. They unpack how family backgrounds, emotions, communication, and faith all shape the way couples handle finances. You'll also hear practical steps for getting on the same page, creating healthy financial habits, and replacing fear with faithful stewardship. Whether you're trying to pay off debt, build a budget, or simply have better conversations about money, this episode will encourage you to work as a team and steward what God has entrusted to you with confidence and purpose.   Episode Highlights: Money is emotional. Learn how your past influences the way you spend, save, and give today. Communication changes everything. Discover why a simple weekly financial check-in can strengthen your marriage. Budgets create freedom, not limitations. Learn practical tools for managing money together with confidence. Stewardship starts with trust. See how viewing your finances through God's perspective can bring greater peace and purpose. Quotes from this Episode: Dr. Kim Kimberling "Money can quietly create stress and distance in a marriage if we're not intentional." "Take a chance. Throw caution to the wind and say, 'God, I'm all in.' You'll see Him show up." "A budget doesn't restrict your freedom—it gives you freedom because you know where your money is going." "Your kids are watching your marriage. The way you steward your relationship becomes their textbook for the future."   Dan Ockey "Most couples agree on where they want to go—they just disagree on how to get there." "Everything we have belongs to God. Isn't it worth taking 20 minutes each week to talk about how we're stewarding it?" "Data over drama. Acknowledge the emotions, then let the numbers show you reality." "When we approach money with fear, we make fear-based decisions. When we approach it with faith, we become better stewards." "The long-term consequences of hiding financial struggles are far worse than the short-term pain of an honest conversation."   Kay Ockey "Money isn't just dollars and cents. There's so much emotion underneath every financial decision." "The timing of your communication is huge. Don't spring financial conversations on your spouse." "A simple weekly financial check-in can completely change the way you communicate about money." "Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you automatically know how to handle money. It's a skill that can be learned." "When you're overwhelmed, don't lose sight of having a goal that gives you hope and something to work toward together."   Time to Talk About it: What messages about money did you learn growing up, and how do they still influence the way you handle finances today? How can we create a regular time to talk about money so it feels like we're working together instead of against each other? What is one financial goal we can begin pursuing together this month that would strengthen both our marriage and our trust in God?   Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Money doesn't have to bring tension to your marriage. Check out the Money Masterclass with Dan and Kay Check in weekly with your spouse. 27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse need encouragement to steward your money in marriage well. Check out Biblical Wisdom for Money in Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !  It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't a lack of opportunity, but fear? In part two of Dr. Kim's conversation with Tom Pfeiffer, they explore what it takes to step into the life God is calling you to live. Tom shares how walking away from a successful legal career taught him that waiting for certainty often keeps us from taking the very steps that lead to growth. Together, they discuss the cost of inaction, learning to let go of other people's opinions, changing the trajectory of your family legacy, and why being fully present with your spouse and children is one of the greatest investments you'll ever make. Whether you're facing a career decision, feeling stuck, or simply wanting to live with greater purpose, this conversation will encourage you to stop waiting for the "perfect time" and start making intentional choices today.   Episode Highlights: Stop waiting for certainty—action creates clarity. Don't let other people's opinions dictate your future. Choose presence with your family over the pursuit of success. Build a legacy you'll be proud to look back on.   Quotes from this Conversation: Tom Pfeiffer "We always think you need certainty before action. But I think it's the opposite." "We never really contemplate the cost of inaction. What did I miss by not doing that?" "Far too often, you'll look back when you're 60, 70, or 80 years old and say, 'Man, I wish I did that.'" "I honestly stopped caring what people think. It's a daily practice, but it's life-changing." "Write down the names of the people whose opinions actually matter to you. I'll bet you're done in 30 seconds." "The majority of people who have an opinion about what you're doing are usually just afraid to do it themselves." "I was more afraid of staying where I was and not being a present dad than I was of making the change." "It's not going to say 'JD' or 'Doctor' on your tombstone. It's going to say father, husband, son. Those are the things that matter." "There are moments in life that are the last time you'll ever do something—and most of the time, you don't even know it." "Sports are a vehicle for life. You have to be okay with adversity because that's where growth happens." "You have to be okay with delayed gratification. You're going to crawl, then walk, then jog, then run." "The version of you that you present every day is the driving factor behind the life you build."   Dr. Kim Kimberling "There's such a profound satisfaction that comes from being the person who changes your family lineage." "Most people don't think about us nearly as much as we think they do." "If they're not on your list, don't give their opinion power over your life." "Your spouse and your kids will know if you're not being who God created you to be." "What's really important is the dash between the dates. What did you do with your time?" "You can always find time for your family if you decide they're a priority." "Your kids won't remember the career you built. They'll remember that you were there." "If you're becoming the person God created you to be, everyone around you benefits." Time to Talk About it: Where in your life are you waiting for certainty before taking a step of faith, and what might happen if you took action instead? Whose opinions have the biggest influence on your decisions, and are those the people whose voices should matter most? If your spouse or children described what you prioritize with your time, what would they say—and does that align with the legacy you want to leave?