
Advertise on podcast: Mistakes Were Made
Rating
4.4from
This podcast has
82 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
Sarah & AlexExplicit
Yes
Date created
2022/04/04
Latest episode
2026/10/02
Average duration
70 min.
Release period
19 days
Description
Non monogamy for imperfect people. Hosted by a queer therapist and her husband of 15 years. Sarah & Alex share their experiences opening their marriage, and interview guests about the struggles & rewards of doing relationships your own way. Mistakes Were Made is part advice, part confession, part culture critique. But it's all about learning from our missteps and stumbling toward liberation. Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/. Logo design by roy franklin of the Whatever Factory - https://www.whateverfactory.org/.
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Podcast episodes
Check latest episodes from Mistakes Were Made podcast
Shadow Alchemy: Season 6 Premiere! | Ep 80
2026/10/02
Sarah and Alex delve into Jungian analysis and find out that sometimes it's our darker parts that bring us closer together with partners. If you've felt yourself struggling once New Relationship Energy starts to wear off, this might be the episode for you.
Mentioned in the episode:
Shadow (Jungian concept) | Midlife Magic cohort | Marie-Louise von Franze on the Shadow |
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by eroyn franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 79: The 3 Phases of Opening a Marriage | Season 5 Finale
2026/07/03
Sarah and Alex outline how opening a het relationship is experienced differently by men and women... based on meticulously collected and analyzed scientific data, of course :)
Mentioned in the episode:
When women choose non-monogamy: 'It's an opportunity for more integration' | The Ethical Slut | Is marriage a lousy deal for women? | Empathy - Psychology Today | Men need relationships more than women |
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 78: Coming Out as Poly with Tabitha Kirkland
2026/06/19
It's Pride, and we're talking about coming out, parenting, and the nature of happiness, with poly psychology researcher Tabitha Kirkland.
Mentioned in the episode:
Geography of Bliss | Tabi's latest Substack: What do you want when no one is looking? | Tabi's Coming Out post | Sarah's Substack | Barry Schwartz: The Paradox of Choice |
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 77: Stop People Pleasing with Calvin Burnap
2026/06/05
Therapist and 'Crush Coach" Calvin Burnap returns to talk about the dangers of abandoning yourself, the importance of internal boundaries, and why being ice cold in breakups is actually generous.
Mentioned in the episode:
The Crush Coach | The Crush Coach on Instagram | Dr. Devon Price | Relationship Anarchy | Gottman Institute | Nonviolent Communication | I thought We'd Never Speak Again | Joanna Macy
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 76: Is Opening up harder for men or women? Part 1
2026/05/22
In this mini episode Sarah and Alex try to figure out who has a tougher time in polyamory.
Mentioned in the episode:
Melt Music & Mutual Aid Fair | When women choose non-monogamy: 'It's an opportunity for more integration'
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 75: Lindy West was right
2026/05/08
Now that we've actually read the book…there's even more to say about Lindy West's Adult Braces. Spoiler alert: it is extremely f*****g good.
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 74: Sarah's First Sex Party
2026/04/24
Sarah and Alex explore the seven stages of playparties, from abject horror to skepticism to curiosity. And then Sarah recouts her first time getting in the mix.
Mentioned in the episode:
Sense8 | Eyes Wide Shut | They Will Kill You | What We Do in the Shadows s1e9 | Mixtape Memoir with Reagan Jackson
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 73: Relationship Care Plans with Karryn
2026/04/10
It's like a prenup... for when your partner goes out of town. Poly therapist Karryn Satchell joins the podcast to explain how you can plan ahead for hard moments in a relationship, from fights, to life changes, to individual crises and even break ups.
You can reach Karryn at [email protected]
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 72: Lindy West's Adult Braces Instant Reaction
2026/03/27
Lindy West is "setting the internet on fire" again with a new memoir tracing her rocky path to accepting a poly relationship with her partner. Sarah & Alex pick apart the flamey reactions, and start to wonder if polyamory is really the problem.
Mentioned in the episode:
Adult Braces | Harper's Bazaar Article | Loves Out Loud
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 71: Love or Limerence?
2026/03/20
Sleepless nights. Intrusive thoughts. Gushing adoration. Is that obsessive feeling true love? Sarah and Alex unpack experiences as givers and recievers of limerant feelings, and try to differentiate between limerance and new relationship energy, anxious attachment, and...Irish poetry? Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Mentioned in the episode:
Loves Out Loud | New Relationship Energy | Love and Limerence by Dorothy Tennov | Yumi Sakugawa Limerance Instagram
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Interlude music "Infatuation" by The Stevedore
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 70: Community and Cancel Culture with Ramsey
2026/03/06
Ramsey rejoins the podcast to talk about that thing everyone seems to be seeking more of these days: Community. What even is it? Why are so many of us lacking it? And is polyamorous dating the solution?
TW: The conversation about community accountability vs. cancel culture somehow lands on the Epstein Files and guillotines.
Mentioned in the episode:
Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Quake Rugby Isn't a Drag (The Stranger) | Alex Garland in Speak the Sojourner | All About Love, by bell hooks
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 69: New Models of Masculinity
2026/02/20
Guess who's been missing from this new wave of political organizing: CIS dudes. Alex grapples with how critique of toxic masculinity has left a gap in men's identity. And Sarah asks why so many progressive men are down to f**k, but not down to fight.
Mentioned in the episode:
Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Sensitive New Age Guys | All About Love, by bell hooks | The Better Man, by Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 68: The Poly Bi Male Experience with Quinn
2026/02/06
Bi men are having a moment, and we're jumping on the bandwagon! Sarah talks to Quinn and Alex about discovering their bisexuality while practicing polyamory. Warning: Heated Rivalry spoiler alert at 35 minutes!
Mentioned in the episode:
Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat | The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl | Heated Rivalry | Esther Perel on Heated Rivalry |
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 67: Taking care of your partner (and yourself) when they're struggling
2026/01/23
What does Ai and folding laundry have to do with supporting your partner through a break up? Not very much, but both things sure did come up a lot in this episode! Sarah and Alex reflect on how it felt to care for each other during recent struggles with other partners, and share some tips for weathering turmoil in your relationship constellation.
Mentioned in the episode:
Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | How To Love Your Polyamorous Partner When They Have A Broken Heart In An Open Relationship
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Ep 66: Kin, Family and Community Love with Sophie Lucido Johnson
2026/01/09
Author and Cartoonist Sophie Lucido Johnnson talks about the future of family structures, her new book "Kin," and, of course, global extinction.
Mentioned in the episode:
Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Timothy Egan | Sarah's Seattle Times column | Kin: The Future of Family | Many Love: A Memoir of Polyamory and Finding Love(s) | Dear Sophie, Love Sophie
More about Sophie:
https://www.sophielucidojohnson.com/
Come to our Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop March 21, 2026 in Seattle!
Follow us:
[email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/
Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org
Podcast reviews
Read Mistakes Were Made podcast reviews
awe_seeka 2026/10/10
Appreciate the depth
Many poly podcasts kind of scratch the surface in psychological concepts and understanding. This one stands out as exploring deeper waters and is brav...
Stringzen1 2026/04/07
dear hosts
In the word "scintillating" the C is silent. Sounds like "sintillating." Not "skintillating."
SexualHorrorFilm 2025/02/21
Raw dog
Can’t wait for the episode where they discuss how Alex lies about condom use and then exposes all his partners to an STD! Mistakes were made! Lolololo...
Mistake Fangrrl 2022/04/06
My new favorite mistake
Authentic. Vulnerable. Nuanced. Thank you for sharing your mistakes and what you learned from them and in turn helping us all to learn.
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