
Advertise on podcast: When You Don’t Know
Rating
4.9from
This podcast has
144 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
Joy and Mathieu RossignolExplicit
No
Date created
2022/04/16
Latest episode
2026/06/16
Average duration
42 min.
Release period
18 days
Description
When You Don’t Know is the faith-based podcast for Christians navigating dating while having relationship anxiety. Hosted by Joy & Mathieu, a married couple and therapist duo, we get real about the doubts, fears, and questions that often come with love. Through honest conversations, biblical wisdom, and powerful guest interviews, we’ll help you date with confidence, overcome anxiety, and build a marriage that lasts. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, this podcast is your safe space to discover what it means to love well—even "when you dont know".
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Check latest episodes from When You Don’t Know podcast
142. Answering Your Questions About Birth & Postpartum
2026/06/16
In part two, I’m answering the questions so many of you sent in about labor, delivery, and postpartum. I’m also sharing what postpartum has looked like for me so far, what has surprised me, what has been challenging, and the things that have been most helpful as we’ve adjusted to this new season of life.
Whether you’re currently pregnant, hoping to be one day, or simply curious about the experience, I hope these conversations leave you feeling informed, encouraged, and a little less alone.
141. 7 Hours Later: My Positive Birth Story
2026/06/16
It’s been 4 weeks since our precious daughter arrived, and I’m finally finding the space to sit down and process my labor and delivery experience.Going into birth, I truly had no idea what to expect. Like many women, I had heard plenty of stories that left me feeling uncertain about what my own experience would be like. But what unfolded was such a beautiful, peaceful, and positive birth experience.From the moment my water broke to finally holding our sweet girl in my arms, I’m sharing the entire story in this episode.My hope is that this can be one more positive birth story that brings you hope, encouragement, and peace as you prepare for your own birth experience one day. 🤍✨ Links:Get our Silence the Noise Course:https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkoutJoin our membership Relationship Anxiety Academy:https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/55SFX2at/checkout👉🏾 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignolJoin our email list:https://joyandmathieu.myflodesk.com/pownm5otq3Other resources:https://stan.store/joyrossignol
140. When Dating Becomes Fear Based Instead of Love Based
2026/05/12
So many Christians approach dating asking:
“How do I know this is the right person?”
But rarely do we stop and ask:
“Am I learning how to love someone well?”
In this episode, we’re talking about how fear of choosing wrong can fuel relationship anxiety and keep people stuck overanalyzing feelings, doubts, attraction, and “signs” instead of actually building a healthy relationship.
We discuss:
• Why dating can feel so high stakes
• The difference between wisdom and fear
• Why certainty is not the foundation of a healthy relationship
• How relationship anxiety keeps people trapped in overthinking
• What actually creates healthy, lasting relationships
If you’ve ever felt pressure to be 100% sure before moving forward in your relationship, this episode is for you.
✨ Links:
Get our Silence the Noise Course:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
Join our membership Relationship Anxiety Academy:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/55SFX2at/checkout
👉🏾 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignolJoin our email list:
https://joyandmathieu.myflodesk.com/pownm5otq3
Other resources:
https://stan.store/joyrossignol
139. How You Relate To God Will Affect Your Dating Life
2026/04/21
“If I just do this right, God will approve of my relationship.”
Of course as Christians, we want to please God. That’s a good thing. But for a lot of people, that desire quietly turns into something else… the feeling that you have to earn His approval, His love, His acceptance.
In this episode, we’re talking about how that mindset shapes your dating life more than you realize. When your relationship with God feels like performance, dating starts to feel like pressure. You question every decision, overanalyze your feelings, and feel anxious about getting it wrong.
That doesn’t mean something is wrong with your relationship.
In this episode, we break down how religious perfectionism and fear-based faith can affect the way you date, why it creates so much anxiety, and how it spills into your daily life. We also talk about what it looks like to move from trying to earn from God to actually walking with Him.
If you’ve ever felt like you need to get your relationship “right” to stay in God’s will, this episode is for you.
✨ Links:
Get our Silence the Noise Course:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
Join our membership Relationship Anxiety Academy:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/55SFX2at/checkout
Other resources:
https://stan.store/joyrossignol
👉🏾 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
138. If It's Not 100% Yes, Does It Have to Be a No?
2026/04/07
“If it’s not a 100% yes, then it’s a no.”
It sounds like solid relationship advice, until you’re someone with an anxious, analytical brain.
In this episode, we’re talking about why that mindset can be so harmful for people who struggle with relationship anxiety. If your mind is always searching for certainty, analyzing your feelings, and looking for signs that you’re making the “right” choice, you may never feel the kind of 100% clarity you think you need.
That doesn’t automatically mean you’re in the wrong relationship.
In this episode, we dive into what it looks like to stop chasing certainty, accept how your brain may be wired, and let go of the belief that doubt always means something is off. We also talk about what it can look like to choose your relationship in the midst of uncertainty and move forward without needing your mind to fully calm down first.
If you’ve ever felt stuck because you’re waiting to feel completely sure before moving forward, this episode is for you.
✨ Links:
Get our Silence the Noise Course:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
Join our membership Relationship Anxiety Academy:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/55SFX2at/checkout
Other resources:
https://stan.store/joyrossignol
👉🏾 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
137. You May Be Underestimating the Good Traits
2026/03/17
So many people with relationship anxiety are focused on the wrong things in their relationship.
We can get so caught up in chemistry, certainty, and whether we feel “enough” all the time… that we overlook the traits that actually matter most.
And honestly, I think we assume the good traits we’re seeing are more common than they really are.
Kindness. Safety. Consistency. Good character.
We can treat those things like they are just the bare minimum, when in reality, they are not as common as we think.
If you are with someone who is kind, good, and safe, that matters more than your anxious mind may want to admit.
In this episode, we are talking about why relationship anxiety can cause you to focus on the wrong things and how to start valuing what actually matters in a healthy relationship.
✨ Links:
Get our Silence the Noise Course:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
Join our membership Relationship Anxiety Academy:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/55SFX2at/checkout
Other resources:
https://stan.store/joyrossignol
👉🏾 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
136. Is God really telling you to break up with your partner?
2026/03/03
If you’ve ever felt a sudden “voice” telling you to break up, and it came with guilt, fear, or shame, this episode is for you.
In this conversation, we’re responding to a message that deeply moved us. A man shared that after hearing a sermon, he felt what seemed like conviction telling him he was in the wrong relationship and needed to leave, even though he loves his girlfriend and wants to serve Christ with her.
So how do you know if something is truly from God?
In this episode, we talk about the difference between conviction and anxiety. We unpack how God actually leads His children. And we share why we do not believe He randomly asks someone to leave a relationship as a test of obedience or trust.
If a thought feels urgent, condemning, and heavy, it may not be the Holy Spirit. God’s voice brings clarity and peace, even when it challenges us. It does not trap you in shame or constant second-guessing.
If you struggle with relationship anxiety or constantly question whether you should stay or go, this episode will help you slow down and discern what is really happening beneath the fear.
Links-
Podcast EXCLUSIVE 3-Masterclass Bundle:
https://stan.store/joyrossignol/p/3masterclass-bundle
If you’re ready to finally quiet the noise and feel grounded in your relationship again, now is the perfect time to join.
Join Silence the Noise Course:
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
Want to dive deeper? 1:1 Relationship Anxiety Intensive:
https://stan.store/joyrossignol/p/11-relationship-anxiety-intensive
Payment plan for 1:1 Intensive: https://stan.store/joyrossignol/p/11-relationship-anxiety-intensive-payment-plan
Most intimate way to work with me-1:1 Coaching Mentorship (3-months): https://gz43pjtl2nc.typeform.com/to/nRp3NRTy
Other resources: https://stan.store/joyrossignol
👉 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
135. How to Talk to Your Partner About Relationship Anxiety
2026/02/17
👉 If you struggle with relationship anxiety or ROCD, one of the hardest questions is:
“How do I tell my partner what’s going on in my head… without scaring them, hurting them, or damaging the relationship?”
In this episode, we’re talking about how to have the conversation and how to know when you’re actually ready to have it.
Because sharing your anxiety isn’t about confessing every intrusive thought.
And it’s definitely not about offloading your anxiety onto them. In this conversation, we cover:
• How to explain relationship anxiety to a partner who doesn’t experience it
• What your partner actually needs to know — and what they don’t
How to talk about anxiety without making your partner responsible for managing it • Common mistakes that accidentally fuel more anxiety in the relationshipIf you’ve ever worried that being honest about your anxiety might push your partner away, this episode is for you.
👉 Our course Silence the Noise is officially out now!
If you’re ready to finally quiet the noise and feel grounded in your relationship again, now is the perfect time to join. https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
👉 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
👉 Work with us: https://stan.store/joyrossignol
👉 Relationship Anxiety Academy: https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/55SFX2at/checkout
👉 1:1 Coaching: https://gz43pjtl2nc.typeform.com/to/nRp3NRTy?typeform-source=lnk.bio
134. When the Prophetic Becomes Harmful in Relationships
2026/02/03
The prophetic is often presented as a reliable way to discern relationships — but for many people, it becomes a source of fear, control, and harm.
In this episode, we talk about spiritual abuse that took place in the context of prophetic language and relationships, and why relying on prophetic words to make dating or marriage decisions can be deeply unsafe.
We unpack how “God told me” has been used to override consent, silence discernment, and create anxiety — and why this approach doesn’t reflect how God actually leads His people.
This conversation is honest, grounded, and necessary for anyone who has been hurt or confused by spiritual authority in relationships.
👉 Our course Silence the Noise is officially out now!
If you’re ready to finally quiet the noise and feel grounded in your relationship again, now is the perfect time to join.
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
👉 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
👉 Work with us: https://lnk.bio/joyrossignol
133. When Spiritual Authority Replaces Discernment
2026/01/20
What do you do when spiritual advice about your relationship leaves you feeling anxious, confused, or afraid of getting it wrong?
In this episode of When You Don’t Know, we talk about the tension many Christians experience when church leadership doesn’t support their relationship — not for biblical reasons, but because of feelings, preferences, or a perceived “lack of peace.” For many, this creates deep relationship anxiety and the fear that disagreeing with leaders means disobeying God.
We explore:
• The difference between spiritual guidance and spiritual control
• Why anxiety often shows up when obedience to leaders is confused with obedience to God
• How God actually leads His people — and why fear, pressure, and urgency aren’t part of His voice
• What healthy spiritual leadership looks like in dating and relationships
If you’ve ever felt torn between your faith, your relationship, and your own discernment, this conversation is for you.
You’re not rebellious. You’re not faithless. And you’re not broken for wanting clarity and peace.
👉 Our course Silence the Noise is officially out now!
If you’re ready to finally quiet the noise and feel grounded in your relationship again, now is the perfect time to join.
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
👉 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
👉 Work with us: https://lnk.bio/joyrossignol
132. When You Don’t Know If Your Callings Align
2026/01/06
You’re in a relationship, but you’re unsure if your callings align.
“What if this means we’re not meant to be together?”
“What if I’m missing God’s will?”
In this episode, we talk about why uncertainty around calling creates so much anxiety in Christian relationships, and why not having clarity doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
We also discuss how fear can disguise itself as discernment, and how to approach questions about calling without spiraling into overthinking.
You’re not broken. You’re not behind. And you didn’t ruin God’s plan.
Hope you enjoy!
👉 Our course Silence the Noise is officially out now!
If you’re ready to finally quiet the noise and feel grounded in your relationship again, now is the perfect time to join.
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
👉 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
👉 Work with us: https://lnk.bio/joyrossignol
131. The Cost of Anxiety: What It Steals From You and Your Relationship
2025/12/02
Relationship anxiety doesn’t just make you overthink — it takes things from you.
Your confidence.
Your peace.
Your ability to enjoy your relationship.
And for so many people, the anxiety becomes so overwhelming that ending the relationship feels like the only way to get relief.
In today’s episode, we’re breaking down the real cost of anxiety and how it silently impacts your relationship even when nothing is actually wrong. We’re talking about:
✨ How anxiety steals your confidence
✨ Why it’s so hard to feel peace around someone you love
✨ How fear becomes the lens you see your partner through
✨ Why so many people consider breaking up just to feel “normal” again
✨ And most importantly… how to silence the internal noise so you can finally breathe
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I just feel secure?” or “Why does my mind always spiral?”, this episode will make you feel deeply understood — and give you hope for a calmer, more grounded relationship.
You’re not broken.
You’re not alone.
And there is a path back to peace.
Our course Silence the Noise is officially out now!
And as an extended Black Friday gift, you can get $200 off from today until December 6th.
If you’re ready to finally quiet the noise and feel grounded in your relationship again, now is the perfect time to join.
https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/Te3uYz2J/checkout
130. Imperfect Love Stories: From Anxiously Dating to Happily Married
2025/11/18
What happens when two best friends start to fall for each other… but one of them is battling intense relationship anxiety?
In today’s episode, we sit down with Pedro & Aliah, a married couple who went from friends to lovers — and had to navigate fear, doubt, and anxiety to get there.
One partner struggled deeply with relationship anxiety and eventually joined our Relationship Anxiety Group Coaching Program, where they did the inner work, gained clarity, and learned how to move toward connection instead of fear. Their persistence, vulnerability, and commitment to growth led them to choosing each other — fully, confidently, and wholeheartedly.
Now they’ve been happily married for over a year, and they’re sharing their story with you.
In this conversation, we explore:
✨ How their friendship turned into something more
✨ What relationship anxiety looked like behind the scenes
✨ How faith, community, and support made all the difference
✨ The turning points that helped them move toward marriage
✨ Encouragement for couples navigating similar fears
If you or your partner have ever felt scared to choose the relationship — or feared choosing “wrong” — this episode will give you so much hope.
⸻
👉 JOIN THE WAITLIST: Silence the Noise (our signature course) to get access to the biggest discount for the course that comes out next week—
https://joyandmathieu.myflodesk.com/kpkuua0vpc
👉 Follow me on Instagram: @joyrossignol
Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today. 💛
129. How to Finally Break the Cycle of Relationship Anxiety
2025/11/04
If you’ve been stuck in an anxious loop about your relationship — constantly questioning your feelings, your partner, or whether you’re in God’s will — this episode is for you.
We’re breaking down the difference between reacting and responding to relationship anxiety, and why both can still leave you trapped in fear if you’re missing one key thing: your core beliefs.
Many people learn to pause before reacting, but never get to the root of why they feel unsafe in love.We’ll talk about how your beliefs about love, commitment, and God shape the way you experience anxiety — and how shifting them can finally bring peace.
🎧 In this episode:
• The difference between reacting and responding
• Why awareness isn’t always enough to heal anxiety
• How to uncover the core beliefs driving your fears
• What it really means to trust God in relationships
Join the waitlist for our relationship anxiety course to get a discount:https://joyandmathieu.myflodesk.com/kpkuua0vpc
Sign up for 1:1 coaching with Joy:https://gz43pjtl2nc.typeform.com/to/nRp3NRTy
Join our membership Relationship Anxiety Academy (RAA):https://joy-dima.mykajabi.com/offers/55SFX2at/checkout
128. Imperfect Love Stories: Marrying Someone Who’s Divorced and Has Kids
2025/10/07
What’s it really like to marry someone who’s been married before… and already has kids?
In this week’s Imperfect Love Stories, we’re talking with Tiph and Andrew — a couple who’ve built something beautiful out of life’s second chances. We talk about the fears, assumptions, and growth that come with blending lives (and families), and what it looks like to let go of “perfect” love so you can embrace real love.
Work with us: https://lnk.bio/joyrossignol
Podcast reviews
Read When You Don’t Know podcast reviews
Sharon_S. 2026/09/05
So helpful!
I stumbled across this podcast and have been binging the episodes. It’s so refreshing the way you all talk about faith and debunk so many of the lies ...
wejustmight 2024/11/07
So good so helpful
I feel like many of the things you talk about, the things like attraction & anxiety, are kind of against the grain & not what many people talk about. ...
mnl1013 2024/08/07
This stuff is SO SO good!
I love this podcast so much. I love that they address relationship anxiety and Godly ways to handle it. Both Joy and Mathieu are so down to earth and ...
Elle Roman Wilson 2023/08/20
Straight Christian relationship advice
I think a lot of this advice is way too focused on what they think a relationship should look like
Hidexandseek 2022/08/05
Love this podcast
Every episode has been awesome! So much wisdom, grace and truth. I really appreciate the humility and transparency. Please keep them coming!!!
Tnn41100 2022/07/21
Amazing.
Amazing and insightful podcast. 10/10.
LeviThoughts 2022/07/06
Thought provoking and well done!
Joy expertly introduces us to topics we may have heard of before - but with a new perspective, gusto, and simplicity that really hits home with the li...
Stay@homem0m 2022/04/18
Blown Away!
I heard you say this was just an introduction but this reinstated with me so much!! I will definitely be sharing and looking forward to the next epis...
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