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Today's Scripture: John 5:1-6 Is there an area of your life where you've longed for healing but have almost given up on things changing? Maybe you've prayed, sought help, and tried everything you know to do. Sometimes we become so accustomed to our circumstances—or so attached to a particular vision of healing—that we struggle to imagine what else might be possible.explore: *Various ways we respond to Jesus' question, "Do you want to get well?" *How we adapt to painful circumstances, and why familiar patterns can make change feel unsettling*What happens when we focus so intently on obstacles & outcomes that we lose sight of the One who offers healing*How to bring our honest longings to God Go Deeper: Episode 227: What Trusting God Really Looks Like When You Can’t Control the Outcome with Susie Larson Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 139:13–16 Have you ever found yourself reaching for your phone, looking for something to eat when you're not hungry, or compulsively checking things off your to-do list? Sometimes these are simply habits. But sometimes they're small signals from within—what I like to think of as your soul's bids for connection. In today's episode, we explore:*Why we are both wonderfully made and wounded—and what that means for how we relate to ourselves*How the Gottmans' concept of bids for connection applies to our inner lives*How to recognize the subtle ways your soul asks for attention*How to invite God's loving presence into the hidden places within youGo deeper: Explore The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy at TheSecureSoulBook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 3:14–21 You may know in your head that God loves you. But what does it mean to actually experience that love in the deepest places of who you are?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to become rooted and established in love. She explores how God’s love can begin to reach the fearful, striving, and hurting parts of us—not just as something we believe, but as something we learn to receive.Go Deeper: Learn more about becoming rooted in God’s love in The Secure Soul and The Secure Soul Companion Guide— find free resources at thesecuresoulbook.com. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when we finally get quiet enough to encounter ourselves, God, and what’s underneath all the noise? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by former pastor and New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer to talk about his new book, Into the Quiet, and the surprisingly difficult practice of silence and solitude. They talk about what happens when we stop filling every empty space with our phones, work, entertainment, and distraction. What comes up in the quiet isn’t always what we expect. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why getting quiet can be difficult but what we can discover when we finally slow down * How silence and solitude can help us become more present to ourselves and to God * How to recognize the difference between healthy reflection and rumination * When we’re meeting a part of our own soul vs. the enemy of our soul * How to start practicing quietness in small, manageable steps As John Mark says, “The point is just to offer ourselves more deeply to God.” About John Mark Comer: John Mark Comer is a teacher and a writer. He has his Masters in Biblical and Theological Studies and a Teacher in Residence at Vintage Church LA. He is a New York Times bestselling author of seven books. His most recent book is Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise. More Resources: Into the Quiet: Following Jesus in a World of Noise by John Mark Comer Other books by John Mark Comer The Practicing the Way nonprofit  Past episode with John Mark Comer and Dr. Alison Cook on the Best of You is here.  Dr. Alison Cook with John Mark Comer on the Rule of Life Podcast  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 2 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 50% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11 What if the season you’re in isn’t something to escape, but something to name honestly? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the invitation to recognize the season of life you’re actually living. Some seasons hold joy, others grief, and many hold both at once. Naming what’s true can help us stop fighting reality and become more open to God’s presence within it.Go Deeper: Learn more about the practice of naming what’s hard in I Shouldn’t Feel This Way. You can read the first few chapters free at dralisoncook.com/book. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Luke 10:29–37 What if the part of you you most want to get rid of is also carrying something important?In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the parable of the Good Samaritan and turns the story inward. She explores the parts of us we distrust, criticize, or try to push away—and how learning to meet those places with compassion can change the way we love God, ourselves, and other people.Go Deeper: Learn more about working with the different parts of your soul in Boundaries for Your Soul and The Secure Soul at dralisoncook.com/books. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:11 There are so many voices competing for our attention—telling us what to believe, what to fear, who to distrust, and where our loyalty belongs.In today’s episode, Dr. Alison returns to a simple prayer for an undivided heart. She explores what it looks like to become more deeply rooted in God, and how bringing every part of yourself honestly into God’s presence.Go Deeper: Notice one place where you feel scattered, pressured, or pulled by the voices around you today. Pause before reacting and pray: “Teach me your way, Lord. Give me an undivided heart.”And listen Thursday for Alison’s conversation with John Mark Comer about his new book, Into the Quiet. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when trying to be more secure (on the surface) backfires? This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Marisa Franco, about her new book, Worth. They explore a different way to think about anxious and avoidant attachment, the surprising science of how old memories continue to shape our present relationships, and why healing doesn’t require making someone else the villain. They also talk about grief, empathy, and a powerful experience Marisa had in therapy that changed how she understood the parts of herself she had spent years trying to hide. In this episode, you’ll learn: *A different way to understand anxious and avoidant attachment *Why seemingly small moments can trigger surprisingly big reactions *The fascinating science of memory reconsolidation *What grief has to do with genuine empathy and closeness *The surprising overlap between attachment science, parts work, and spiritual healing About Dr. Marisa G. Franco: Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a psychologist, professor, and New York Times bestselling author of Platonic. Her new book is Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. More Resources: Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment—available wherever books are sold Dr. Marisa G. Franco  Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, ⁠The Secure Soul⁠.  Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode⁠ here⁠ Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AquaTru - Shower Head - Right now, my listeners can get 20% off AquaTru Shower at AquaTruShower.com with promo code SHBESTOFYOU. It also comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. That’s AquaTruShower.com, promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional). *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens to your capacity to trust God when life has taught you to brace for disappointment? You may still believe God is good. You may know the Scriptures and have walked with Him for years. And yet there can be places inside of you that still struggle to trust His goodness toward you. This week, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author and radio host Susie Larson for an honest conversation about trauma, chronic illness, unanswered prayer, and what it means to keep trusting God when your circumstances remain painfully unresolved. Drawing from her own experiences with childhood trauma, complicated pregnancies, chronic illness, financial strain, and seasons when God felt silent, Susie shares how she began moving from simply knowing she was saved to actually learning to live as someone deeply loved by God. In this episode, you’ll learn: How trauma and disappointment can affect your ability to trust God The difference between knowing intellectually that God loves you and learning to live loved Why trusting God isn’t a formula for getting the outcome you want What Susie means by “contending” for what is true without slipping into striving The difference between expectation and expectancy Why trust can sometimes mean fighting for something and other times mean releasing control How fear and strong emotions can reveal beliefs beneath the surface Why you don’t have to wait until everything is resolved to begin living with purpose A simple practice for intentionally receiving and reflecting on God’s love The invitation isn’t to figure out how to make God give you the ending you hoped for. It’s to become more deeply rooted in His love while the story is still being written. Ready Susie Larson’s book More Than You Can Imagine: What God Does When You Trust Him Listen to Susie Larson Live More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AquaTru - Shower Head - Unlock your hair & skin’s true potential with 20% Off AquaTru Shower by using promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional) at AquaTru.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual wounding shows up in so many different ways, and it affects so many men and women.  Maybe something happened that felt off, invasive, confusing, or inappropriate, but you told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe you’ve never used the words sexual abuse or sexual violation because what happened didn’t fit the picture you had in mind. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by trauma expert and bestselling author Dr. Dan Allender for a compassionate conversation about sexual abuse, sexual wounding, shame, trust, and the road toward healing. Dan explains why abuse is not only about a single event, but about how that event becomes woven into the larger fabric of a person’s story. They explore why so many people minimize what happened, how involuntary body responses can create profound shame, and why these wounds often surface years later in our ability to trust, receive love, hope, and connect intimately with others. You’ll learn: What sexual abuse and sexual wounding can look like beyond the narrowest definitions Why shame can linger long after an experience is over How abuse affects trust, hope, intimacy, and your relationships What parents can do when a child shares that something uncomfortable or violating happened How to approach your story with honesty, compassion, and dignity Sometimes the first step is simply being willing to say: Something happened that wasn’t okay. And I want to understand how it has shaped me. To find out more about The Allender Center workshops visit theallendercenter.org/workshops or email the Allender Center team directly at [email protected] Read Dr. Dan Allender’s  books: Healing the Wounded Heart The Deep-Rooted Marriage More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked into a room and almost automatically started adjusting yourself? Maybe you hold back what you really think. You soften your opinions. You make yourself more agreeable. Not because you’re trying to be dishonest, but because some part of you wants to belong. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by behavioral scientist and Columbia University professor Dr. Patricia Hewlin to explore the tension between authenticity and belonging. Dr. Hewlin’s research on what she calls facades of conformity shows that continually suppressing your values and perspectives in order to fit in can lead to emotional exhaustion and disconnection. But the answer isn’t to swing to the other extreme and insist on expressing every part of yourself in every room. We were made for community.  And we were also made to become fully ourselves. The goal isn’t to choose one over the other. It’s learning how to love other people without losing yourself in the process. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why the desire to belong is a healthy human need How to tell the difference between wise compromise and self-abandonment Why staying quiet isn’t always people-pleasing How your core values can guide what you share, when you speak up, and when you flex Why “bringing your whole self” doesn’t mean bringing every part of yourself everywhere How to navigate relationships or workplaces where being fully yourself may come with a real cost What Dr. Hewlin calls the middle self: authenticity with discernment and accountability Why true authenticity is inherently relational Read Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live With Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind. More Resources: Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.  Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 55% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You love the kids you've been called to care for. You’re grateful most of the time. But sometimes your hidden feelings are still, well.... complicated. You may feel frustrated by how much is asked of you, lonely in the load you’re carrying, jealous of other moms who seem to have it easier, or ashamed that motherhood doesn’t always feel the way you thought it would. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by longtime friends, ministry leaders, and authors of the new book Moms on the Way, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick for an honest conversation about the complicated emotions moms are often afraid to admit out loud. Drawing from their research with more than 700 women, they explore why shame and resentment thrive in isolation—and what can happen when we finally bring those feelings into the light. You’ll learn: *Why motherhood can become fertile ground for comparison and shame *What resentment is really telling you *How to discern between something that is simply hard and something that genuinely needs to change *How hidden shame and resentment can isolate you from yourself, others, and God *What to do when these hidden emotions creep in More Resources: Connect with Kathy and Tara here. Get Moms on the Way: Following Jesus Through the Challenges of Motherhood here. 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: James 3:13–18 How do you know whether the voice guiding you is actually wisdom—or fear dressed up as certainty, responsibility, or discernment? James gives us a very different way to recognize wisdom: not by confidence, volume, or influence, but by the kind of fruit it produces. You’ll learn: *Why certainty and confidence can sometimes masquerade as wisdom*How fear can hide underneath control, harshness, or over-responsibility*The qualities James says actually reveal genuine wisdom*Why quiet faithfulness may be more powerful than visible influence*One way to discern the fruit your choices and relationships are producing Go Deeper: The Best of You Every Day is taking a short break after this week while the Thursday deep-dive episodes continue. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if some of the qualities you’ve learned to call “strength” are clues to a wound underneath? You may be responsible, independent, productive, and good at taking care of everyone else. But when those patterns become extreme, they can sometimes point to wounds you’ve learned to carry alone. In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and author Sheila Wise Rowe for a conversation about the less obvious ways trauma can shape our lives. Together, they explore how people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-sufficiency, minimizing pain, and avoiding conflict can become protective responses—and why healing begins by getting curious about what those patterns are trying to tell us. You’ll learn: *How trauma can show up in ways we may not immediately recognize *Why people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-sufficiency can become protective patterns *How family and community wounds can shape us across generations *Why minimizing your pain can keep you disconnected from what needs care *The role of lament in bringing your real emotions before God *Why healing rarely happens alone *How small steps, safe people, and God’s presence can help create lasting change Healing doesn’t require you to minimize what happened or convince yourself that someone else had it worse. It begins with noticing what is true, allowing God into the places that hurt, and taking one small step toward connection. More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.” Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: Deuteronomy 30:11–14 What if the next faithful step isn’t as far away as it feels? When fear and uncertainty take over, we can turn discernment into an exhausting search for perfect clarity. But Scripture offers a more grounded way forward: God’s wisdom is often nearer than we think. You’ll learn: *Why anxiety can make a simple decision feel impossible*How the search for certainty can keep you stuck*Why discomfort doesn’t always mean you’re on the wrong path*How to recognize the wisdom God has already placed within reach*What it looks like to take one faithful step without having the whole map Go Deeper: Pick up The Secure Soul and its companion guide for a deeper journey into the patterns, stories, and practices that shape a more secure life with God. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices