Advertise on podcast: Chasing Brighter Podcast: Choosing Real Over Perfect

Your Marriage Is a Friendship Too Chasing Brighter | Season 6: Becoming, Not Arriving When was the last time you got curious about your partner, the person they are right now, not the version you memorized years ago? After a month of talking about friendship, Jessica and Kelly turn to the relationship where it's easiest to assume the friendship will hold on its own: your marriage or long-term partnership. Jess and Kelly have each been with their husbands since '99, and they get honest about how long-term partnerships can quietly shift from romantic friendship to running a household together: schedules, kids, finances, logistics. They talk about what couples counseling taught them, why "if marriage is hard, you're with the wrong person" misses the mark, and why small, consistent moments of connection matter more than grand gestures. Whatever you call your relationship, this one is about tending the friendship at its center. In This Episode Why every relationship takes work, and why that doesn't mean you're with the wrong person How partnerships drift from friendship into "operational partnership" without anyone noticing Jess on the couples therapist who kept steering her and Justin away from talking about their kids "Updating your information" about your partner, because they're becoming too The Gottman question: do you still know your partner's favorite things now? Why small daily rituals beat date nights and grand gestures Laughing together, watching a show together, cooking together: what connection looks like in real life Kelly's three-tier system for friendships and why she doesn't struggle with friendship ambiguity Timestamps 00:05 – Still one of my favorite people, 27 years in 01:18 – Your marriage as a friendship you tend, not a partnership you manage 02:29 – "If marriage is hard, you're with the wrong person"? Not so fast 04:53 – From romantic friendship to operational partnership 05:22 – What couples counseling revealed 06:53 – Knowing your partner vs. knowing who they are now 07:46 – Gottman, Eight Dates, and getting curious again 08:36 – Small things over grand gestures 11:31 – This week's Brighter Moves 12:46 – Apps that help you get to know your partner 13:17 – Kelly's friendship tiers and the Friendship Audit This Week's Brighter Moves Jessica: Take a car ride with your partner, phones away, and focus on a real conversation full of curious questions. Kelly: Ask your partner one real, curious question about what's going on with them right now. Make it something that isn't logistics. Resources Mentioned Eight Dates by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman Gottman Card Decks app (free) Paired app Conversation and family question cards Best Medicine (the show Jess and Justin are watching together) Grab This Month's Freebie Sort out your friendships with our Friendship Audit, the free guide that goes with this month's episodes. Get it when you sign up for the Chasing Brighter newsletter. Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here marriage as friendship, long-term relationship advice, keeping your marriage strong, couples connection, marriage after kids, rituals of connection, Gottman method, Gottman Card Decks, Eight Dates book, couples counseling, getting to know your partner again, curiosity in relationships, small gestures in marriage, date night alternatives, empty nest marriage, partnership vs friendship, laughing together, relationship maintenance, friendship audit, friendship tiers, women's podcast, personal growth podcast, Becoming Not Arriving, Chasing Brighter podcast, Jessica Colarco, Kelly

Superwoman Diaries: Disco Nights, Builder Gel & Finding the Causes That Move Us It's October in Vegas and Jessica is still pretending it's cozy season in a blazer. In this Superwoman Diaries episode, the sisters catch up on the little luxuries and the big-hearted moments of the past few weeks. Jessica shares her day of beauty before a disco-themed gala (complete with a surprise Vietnamese coffee from the salon's new beverage menu), and she and Kelly compare notes on builder gel, the joy of booking appointments online without ever picking up the phone, and how wildly manicure prices vary between Henderson and Chicago. Then the conversation turns more meaningful. Jessica reflects on attending the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation gala in Las Vegas, the stories that stayed with her from last year's event, and how much she learned about the real, daily impact of these diseases. Kelly connects it to one of the core ideas behind Chasing Brighter: getting involved in a cause you care about is one of the most powerful ways to nourish your heart and soul. Jessica also opens up honestly about her involvement with Moms Demand Action, why one meeting felt too overwhelming, and why giving financially is a meaningful way to show up when you can't do it all. In this episode: (00:07) Still warm in Vegas, and a disco gala recap (01:12) A day of beauty: builder gel explained, and how it compares to hard gel and dip (05:13) Online booking love and a salon glow-up with a beverage menu (05:48) Manicure and pedicure prices: West Coast vs. Chicago (09:41) The surprise Vietnamese coffee (09:57) The Crohn's & Colitis Foundation gala and the stories behind it (14:16) Why getting involved in a cause brings joy (14:49) Moms Demand Action, feeling overwhelmed, and the value of giving (16:10) This month's freebie: the Friendship Audit Mentioned in this episode: Crohn's & Colitis Foundation Moms Demand Action / Everytown October's theme: relationships and friendships Grab this month's freebie: The Friendship Audit is yours when you join the Chasing Brighter newsletter. It pairs perfectly with our October episodes on friendship, so sign up at chasingbrighter.com and take a fresh look at the connections in your life. Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here Chasing Brighter podcast, Superwoman Diaries, women's podcast, sister podcast, builder gel manicure, builder gel vs hard gel, gel pedicure, self-care routine, treat yourself, disco themed gala, Crohn's and Colitis Foundation, Las Vegas charity gala, giving back, getting involved in a cause, charity and happiness, Moms Demand Action, Everytown, compassion fatigue, feeling overwhelmed by causes, Vietnamese coffee, online booking, friendship audit, friendship podcast, Becoming Not Arriving, real over perfect

Not every friendship ends with a falling-out. Some quietly drift. Some go on pause. Some still exist on paper, with birthday texts and the occasional "we should get together!", while the emotional closeness has faded. In this episode, Jessica and Kelly talk about friendship ambiguity: the friendships that leave you unsure where you stand, how you feel, or whether anything needs to be said at all. Jessica introduces ambiguous loss, a concept from psychologist Pauline Boss's work in the 1970s. It describes grief that has no clear resolution, no funeral, and no script for closure. It was first applied to dementia and missing persons, and Jessica explains why it also fits the friend who slowly drifted but never actually left. Kelly pushes back in her own way. Does drifting always feel like loss? Or can a friendship simply evolve, rest, or go on pause without anything being wrong? The sisters compare their very different approaches. Kelly tends not to overthink it and lets some friendships fade on their own. Jessica wrestles with guilt, obligation, and a newer midlife phenomenon: the sudden "ick," when you realize you just don't have the energy for someone anymore, even though nothing specific happened. They also look at the other side of ambiguity: what to do when you miss someone and the time gap makes reaching out feel awkward. In This Episode (00:05) Why we chose friendship ambiguity, and second-guessing a script written months ago (00:57) Ambiguous loss: Pauline Boss's framework and why it applies to friendships (02:06) Friendship as work, and when we're not always doing the work (03:18) Friendships "on pause": growing up moving around, and staying close to friends you rarely see (04:30) Seasonal communities, like sports team families, and the quiet loss when a season ends (05:08) Why our brains find uncertainty so uncomfortable (06:40) Should you ask "are we okay?" or let it be? (07:37) Kelly's no-overthinking strategy, conflict avoidance, and attachment styles (09:01) Flipping it: what to do when you miss a friend and feel weird reaching out (10:48) The midlife "ick," running out of energy for certain relationships, and being an empath (12:00) Free resource: The Friendship Audit (12:45) Coming up next week Key Takeaways Not all distance is loss. Some friendships go on pause and pick up right where they left off. Others quietly fade. Knowing which is which can ease a lot of anxiety. Ambiguous loss is real. If a friendship's slow fade feels disorienting, there's a reason. Grief without a clear ending is harder for the brain to process. Check in with yourself first. Before reaching out or pulling away, notice whether you're actually missing the person or just uncomfortable with the uncertainty. Leave the door open for the people you love. A simple "I miss you, let's get together" often lands better than we fear. You don't always owe a big conversation. Sometimes drifting away from a relationship that no longer fits is enough. Free Resource: The Friendship Audit Want to sort out where your friendships stand? The Friendship Audit helps you sort your friendships into thriving, resting, or maybe over. It's honest without being brutal. Get it free when you sign up for the Chasing Brighter newsletter at chasingbrighter.com/newsletter. Next Week Your relationship with your partner is a friendship too. Tune in next week as we explore what friendship looks like inside an intimate relationship. friendship ambiguity, ambiguous loss, Pauline Boss, friendship drift, losing a friend, friendships in midlife, adult friendships, friendship breakup, growing apart from friends, friendship on pause, the ick, guilt and obligation in friendships, avoidant attachment, ghosting friends, how to reconnect with an old friend, missing a friend, empath, uncertainty and anxiety, friendship audit, women's friendships, mom friends, Chasing Brighter podcast, Becoming Not Arriving Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here

Superwoman Diaries: White Lies, Chicken Sandwiches & the College Search Jess and Kelly catch up on life as moms of almost-grown and newly-grown kids. Jess shares the college "white lies party", her plan to feed a team of hungry college athletes from 2,000 miles away, and the surprisingly emotional side of parenting an adult child in a different time zone. Kelly opens up about kicking off the college search with Wes, who just announced he might want to "work in nature," and how she's using YouTube "day in the life" videos (and a little help from AI) to help him figure out what actually lights him up. Together they talk about choice overload, letting kids explore, and why the path you picture at 17 rarely matches where you end up. In This Episode (00:06) Butt dials, Apple CarPlay chaos, and the college "white lies party" trend (02:07) Heading to watch Gabby play, why Jess taps out of the parent group text, and the Chick-fil-A catering hack (plus the reward points bonus) (05:44) Kelly's catering rotation for sports teams and why cold food can be the smarter tailgate move (05:59) Parenting an adult child three time zones away, homesickness, and remembering their own tearful freshman years (07:41) The thought that sends Jess spiraling: is this the longest she's ever been apart from her daughter? (07:53) Kelly and Wes start the college search, and how much more choice kids have today (09:04) When your kid surprises you: Wes wants to work outdoors, Dominic is curious about religion and philosophy (09:42) Why schools that let you wait until junior year to declare a major can be a great fit for exploring (12:14) Berry College's massive campus, complete with farms, cows, and cabins (12:56) Using AI to brainstorm ways to explore career interests, including "day in the life" videos (14:06) Unexpected careers that really do pay off, from an anthropologist cousin to a marine biology professor (15:10) Prioritizing internships and applied learning, setting search parameters, and staying flexible Takeaways When the group text gets overwhelming, it's okay to tap out and solve the problem your own way. Homesickness often shows up on the bad days, and having ups and downs during the first semester is normal. Choice overload is real in the college search. Start by talking with your teen about what actually matters to them. Kids' interests will shift. Schools that support exploration can take pressure off choosing "the right" major at 17. "Day in the life" videos are an easy, low-pressure way to help teens picture different careers. Superwoman Diaries, Chasing Brighter podcast, sister podcast, motherhood, parenting teens, parenting adult children, college freshman homesickness, empty nest, college search, choosing a college, undeclared major, exploring majors, career exploration for teens, day in the life videos, using AI for parenting, college internships, applied learning, white lies party, college sports parents, team catering ideas, Chick-fil-A catering, group text overwhelm, time zone difference, Becoming Not Arriving, women's podcast, real over perfect Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here

Here are the show notes, built from the episode audio. The timestamps are approximate, so give them a quick check against your final edit. Outgrown, Not Failed: When Friendships Fade Have you ever thought about a friend you used to be inseparable from and felt… nothing? Not bad, just not the same. In this episode, Jess and Kelly talk about friendships that run their course, why a fading friendship doesn't mean anyone failed, and how to tell the difference between real guilt and plain old obligation. Some friendships are built for a specific season of life: work friends, the parents you bonded with because your kids were friends, the people who got you through a particular chapter. When that season ends, the friendship may have done exactly what it was meant to do. Jess, a licensed clinical social worker, explains why guilt and obligation feel so similar but work very differently, and why one lifts when you act on it and the other leaves you feeling hollow. The sisters also share how to honor what a friendship was without clinging to what you think it should be, and how letting go can free up energy for the relationships that are thriving now. In This Episode [0:00] That "nothing bad, but nothing the same" feeling about an old friend [1:00] Seasonal friendships, and how a recovering people pleaser stopped treating fading friendships as a personal failure [2:00] Situational friendships: work friends, parenting stages, and the magazine article that turned out to be true [3:00] Why a friendship ending from unresolved hurt is different from simply growing apart [3:30] The part nobody talks about: guilt that hangs around even when the fade is mutual [3:45] Guilt vs. obligation, from a clinical lens [4:45] Honoring what the friendship was instead of clinging to what it "should" be [5:15] Reframes: a relationship's value isn't measured by how long it lasted, and grief can exist even in a good ending [6:30] Real Over Perfect moment [7:45] This week's Brighter Moves [8:30] October freebie: The Friendship Audit Key Takeaways Some friendships are seasonal on purpose. When the season ends, the friendship completed its purpose rather than failing. Guilt usually comes from inside you. It signals something feels out of line with your own values, and it tends to lift once you act on what you believe is right. Obligation comes from outside pressure about what a "good" or "loyal" friend should do. You can meet an obligation and still feel hollow. You don't owe anyone a lifetime of obligation just because you share a history. You're allowed to grieve a friendship that ended well, and letting go can open space for the friendships you have now. Real Over Perfect Moment Both sisters admit to the same thing: something pops up on Facebook about an old friend, the guilt kicks in, the "we should get coffee" text never turns into an actual coffee, and nothing changes. The honest takeaway is that sometimes guilt is just guilt. It isn't a sign that something needs fixing. This Week's Brighter Moves Jess: The next time you feel a guilt ping about a faded friendship, notice it, and then consciously let it pass instead of acting on it out of obligation. Kelly: Write a private note to yourself about a friendship you've outgrown, to honor what it was without reopening it. Think of it as journaling, with no action required. October Freebie: The Friendship Audit If you're mentally sorting your friendships into the ones that are thriving, the ones that are resting, and the ones that are complete, this one is for you. The Friendship Audit is an honest, judgment-free way to assess your friendships. Get it free when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com. Keywords & Search Terms outgrown friendships, friendships ending, seasonal friendships, growing apart from friends, friendship guilt, guilt vs obligation, people pleasing, recovering people pleaser, letting go of friendships, friendship breakup, mom friends, work friendships, adult friendships, women's friendships, friendship grief, honoring past relationships, friendship audit, emotional energy, relationship reframes, journaling, Becoming Not Arriving, Real Over Perfect, Chasing Brighter podcast, sister podcast, personal growth podcast for women Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here

Superwoman Diaries: Fall Fashion Finds, TJ Maxx Jackpots & the Mystery of the Missing Mediums It's officially fall, and Jessica and Kelly are talking wardrobes. After a school open house leaves Kelly second-guessing her go-to t-shirt-and-jeans look, the sisters swap stories about refreshing their closets for the new season without falling into overwhelm or overspending. Jessica shares her case for a capsule wardrobe built on intentional choices instead of strict rules, plus the shopping "relapse" that ended with a TJ Maxx jackpot (and 15 pairs of shoes donated). Kelly walks us through a surprisingly futuristic fitting room experience at Reformation, and a chat with a Trader Joe's cashier reveals why there's never anything "in the back." Real talk, real closets, and a few fall trend picks you can actually use. In This Episode (00:45) Kelly's open house moment and why it made her want to polish up her wardrobe (04:08) What a capsule wardrobe really is, and why it doesn't have to come with crazy rules (05:36) Jessica's shoe audit: you only need one piece that does the thing (06:57) Why in-store shopping is so draining, and the "I'll spend Saturday finding a blouse" fatigue (08:09) The hunt for the perfect brown trousers, and shopping when your size is changing (09:26) Giving up, then finding everything at TJ Maxx: burgundy Mary Janes, loafers, slingbacks and a chocolate brown bag (13:13) Why shopping a less busy location can mean better selection (14:04) Fall trends: Mary Janes, penny loafers, slouchy boots, kitten heel booties, silver accents, plaids, chocolate brown and burgundy (16:22) Kelly's Reformation experience: one item per rack, virtual closets and fitting rooms stocked from behind the wall (18:39) Jessica's similar experience at Aritzia, and why shopping suddenly feels so different (19:45) Why stores restock daily but your size is always gone (20:13) Trader Joe's spicy rolled tortilla chips, "Gio's office" and what the cashier revealed about deliveries and storage Key Takeaways A capsule wardrobe is about intention, not restriction. Know your colors, your best necklines and silhouettes, and build around pieces that mix and match. If you own seven versions of the same shoe, you don't need an eighth. One piece per job is enough. Shop for your actual lifestyle. If you work from home, you don't need pants that require ironing. Sometimes the best finds show up right after you stop looking. Stores are restocking constantly with few sizes per item, so checking back often (or trying a less busy location) can pay off. Episode Mentioned: Hot Mom Summer Fall Trend Picks Mentioned Mary Janes, penny and mule loafers, pointed slingback heels, slouchy boots, kitten heel booties, silver shoes and accents, plaid, chocolate brown, burgundy, and a structured brown crossbody bag. Connect With Us Grab this month's free download when you sign up for the newsletter, and follow along for our real-life shopping finds. Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter signup: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter fall fashion, fall wardrobe 2026, capsule wardrobe, intentional wardrobe, women's fall trends, Mary Janes, penny loafers, slingback heels, slouchy boots, kitten heel boots, chocolate brown, burgundy, silver accessories, plaid, TJ Maxx finds, Nordstrom Rack, Anthropologie, Reformation, Aritzia, Trader Joe's, shopping overwhelm, decluttering closet, shopaholic, wardrobe refresh, budget fashion, style over 40, women's podcast, sister podcast, Superwoman Diaries, Chasing Brighter, Becoming Not Arriving

The Friendships That Found You Chasing Brighter | Season 6: Becoming, Not Arriving Some of the most important people in your life never came from a plan. They came from a park bench, a softball tryout, a Friday coffee table, or the spot next to you in a gym class. This month, Jessica and Kelly are talking about relationships that grow with us, and they're starting with the friendships that found us when we weren't even looking. In this episode, Jessica and Kelly explore the psychology of "incidental closeness": how repeated, low-stakes contact builds trust without any performance pressure. They talk about why seeing people tired, distracted, and unpolished can build more accurate trust than a carefully planned girls' night, why some shared spaces spark friendship while others never do, and how hard life seasons can speed up closeness. Plus, Kelly owns up to a "real over perfect" moment about the friends she once judged from the sidelines, and Jessica shares why specific gratitude does more for a relationship than general appreciation. In This Episode (00:07) A five-year friendship that started with a text at a softball tryout (00:56) Kelly's "OG mom friends" and the power of proximity and timing (02:21) The psychology of incidental closeness and why low-stakes contact builds real trust (03:19) Why the same setting can create friendships one year and none the next (04:29) Guarded on the sports sidelines, and why the gym is a great place to connect (05:21) "Where's your friend?" What happens when the regulars notice you're missing (06:35) Proximity, timing, and frequency: 15 years of Friday coffee (07:55) How high-stress seasons deepen friendships faster (09:33) Identity, obligation, and showing up for yourself versus for your kids (10:09) College friends, playground friends, and friends who see you at your least polished (11:25) Vulnerability as a trust accelerant (11:56) The power of specific gratitude: naming the what and the why (14:40) Real Over Perfect: the friends we almost didn't make (16:11) This week's Brighter Move (17:04) The Friendship Audit, October's freebie Key Takeaways You don't have to work hard to build every friendship. Showing up again and again in the same place lets trust build naturally, because you're trusting how someone behaves when the stakes are low, not just what they say. Being open matters as much as being present. The same setting can lead to lifelong friends or no connection at all, depending on your mindset and whether you're there for yourself or out of obligation. Hard seasons bond people quickly. Vulnerability speeds up trust, which is why "real over perfect" friendships tend to last. Specific gratitude beats vague appreciation. Telling a friend exactly what they did and why it mattered signals that they were truly seen. This Week's Brighter Move Send a specific, detailed thank-you message to a friend who found you unexpectedly (or who you found unexpectedly). Name exactly what they did and what they mean to you. Bonus move from Kelly: if there's a friend you weren't sure about at first, tell them what you originally thought and have a good laugh about it together. October Freebie: The Friendship Audit Sort your friendships into thriving, resting, or complete, and be honest without being brutal. Get the Friendship Audit free when you sign up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com. unexpected friendships, adult friendships, how to make friends as an adult, mom friends, incidental closeness, proximity and friendship, friendship psychology, building trust, vulnerability in friendships, specific gratitude, gratitude practice, friendship audit, real over perfect, women's friendships, friendships in midlife, making friends at the gym, sports parent friendships, college friends, life seasons, connection, personal development, Chasing Brighter podcast, Becoming Not Arriving, Jessica Colarco, Kelly Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter signup: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter

Superwoman Diaries #4: Car Loop Chaos & the Case for Just Being a Good Human It's 99 degrees, school is back in session, and the drop-off line has become a test of character. In this Superwoman Diaries episode, Jessica and Kelly vent about morning traffic, dog walkers who don't know the school schedule, and the car loop parents who turn a two-second drop-off into a full farewell ceremony. What starts as a rant turns into a real conversation about what we owe each other: American individualism versus community, what Lois Lowry's The Giver shows about rule-following societies, and whether kindness needs a religious label at all. Jessica and Kelly land on something simple: be a good human, for whatever reason works for you. Then they get honest about how hard that is when you're running late and someone cuts you off. In This Episode (00:05) Fall is coming, but first, a 99-degree morning and a school run blocked by walkers, bikers, and dog owners (01:50) The $750 school bus fine and how having kids changes how you see school zones (03:07) Car loop etiquette: unclip, backpack in lap, tuck and roll (04:31) Kelly on being considerate as a member of your community (05:19) Americans and individualism, plus reading The Giver with Giovanni (07:37) Kindness, faith, and whether "treat your neighbor as yourself" belongs to any one religion (11:37) Greek mythology, parables, and the stories that shape our moral code (13:17) Staying kind in traffic, road rage, and choosing compassion over "have the day you deserve" (15:18) Kelly's new habit of shopping close to home because her time matters (more on this next Superwoman Diaries) (16:11) Nobody's perfect, and this month's freebie Key Takeaways Being considerate is a shared responsibility. If you know you'll need extra time, whether in the drop-off line or on a busy road, plan for it so you don't slow everyone else down. You don't need a specific faith to live by a moral code. Many traditions teach the same basic idea: be kind and look out for other people. When someone's behavior sets you off, try telling yourself a more compassionate story about what might be happening in their life. Nobody gets this right all the time. Jessica and Kelly are still working on it too. Resources Mentioned The Giver by Lois Lowry The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Brené Brown's books Tara Brach's podcast This Month's Freebie: The One Thing September's free download is The One Thing. Sign up for the Chasing Brighter newsletter to get it: https://chasingbrighter.com/newsletter/ Keywords & Search Terms Superwoman Diaries, Chasing Brighter podcast, school drop-off, car loop, carpool line, back to school, school zone traffic, moms podcast, sister podcast, being considerate, community, kindness, be a good human, individualism, The Giver, Lois Lowry, reading with kids, faith and morality, morals without religion, Greek mythology, Prometheus, The Four Agreements, Brené Brown, Tara Brach, road rage, compassion, traffic, Las Vegas traffic, shopping local, valuing your time, nobody's perfect, Becoming Not Arriving, real over perfect, women's podcast, personal development Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here A few things to check before you publish: I numbered this episode #4 based on the file name. Change it if your episode numbering is different. The transcript says "Tara Brock." I'm assuming you meant Tara Brach. I named Giovanni in the timestamps because you said his name on air. If you'd rather keep the kids' names out of the notes, change it to "reading The Giver with her son."

Let's Get Honest: What We've Been Waiting to Begin Chasing Brighter | Season 6: Becoming, Not Arriving | September 24 All September long, we've been talking about beginnings: self-sabotage, the stories we tell ourselves, and the "not yet" that keeps us stuck. To close out the month, Jessica and Kelly get honest in a free-flowing conversation. Instead of focusing on what they haven't done, they share what they're actually doing to begin, messy parts included. Jessica opens up about wanting to hire a stylist as her body has changed in her 40s and through her 47-pound weight loss journey. She names the fears that kept her stuck (What will it cost? Will they judge my closet? Will they make me buy more?) and shares the small step she took instead: using AI as a collaborative style assistant to build weekly outfit inspiration from the clothes she already owns. Kelly talks about her perfectionism around creating social media content, the videos she films but never posts, and how she's using simple coaching steps to start showing up anyway. The sisters also get real about AI itself: its limits, its "glazing," why encouragement still matters, and why it's a tool and an assistant, not a replacement for human connection, friendship, or mental health support. In this episode, we talk about: A simple three-step template for beginning: name what you want, name your fear, and choose one small step Why the hardest part is often not knowing what you're waiting for in the first place Waiting for perfect conditions, credentials, or expertise before giving yourself permission to start Jessica's journey toward a capsule wardrobe and feeling good in the clothes she already has Kelly's perfectionism around posting content, and taking baby steps to put herself out there Using AI as a collaborator and assistant, including its funny flaws and real limitations Why human connection, community, and real relationships still come first Other ways to find your first step: talking to a friend, asking someone who's doing what you want to do, podcasts, YouTube, and books Why small matters, messy counts, and beginning requires you to be real, not brave Episode Highlights: 00:11 Closing out September by getting honest about what we're doing 01:54 Flipping the script: talking about what we are doing 03:01 Jessica names her goal (hiring a stylist) and the fears behind it 04:32 Kelly on using AI as a guided conversation, not a set of orders 06:41 The template: name what you want, name your fear, choose a small step 07:22 Kelly's perfectionism around social media content 10:16 Maintaining our humanity while using AI as a tool 12:29 Figuring out what you're actually waiting for 13:05 Closing September: start where you are, not where you think you need to be Free Resource: The One Thing Starter Worksheet If you've been sitting with your own "not yet" all month, this short, simple worksheet will help you name what you want, name the fear, and take your next small step. Download the One Thing Starter Worksheet or get it by signing up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com. Coming in October: Relationships. Trust us, it's worth showing up for. self-sabotage, how to start something new, fear of starting, perfectionism, real over perfect, waiting for the right time, overcoming procrastination, small steps, bite-sized goals, women's personal development, midlife women, body changes in your 40s, weight loss journey, capsule wardrobe, personal stylist, AI style assistant, using ChatGPT for fashion, AI for personal growth, social media anxiety, content creation fear, fear of judgment, becoming not arriving, sisters podcast, Chasing Brighter podcast, self-growth podcast for women Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here Until next time, keep chasing brighter. 💚

Back to school looks nothing like it did when we were kids. Jessica and Kelly compare the back-to-school shopping of their childhoods (the planned outfits, the double socks, the once-a-year wardrobe refresh) with what it looks like now: uniforms, reused backpacks, digital textbooks, and teenagers who carry their entire lives around because nobody uses lockers. Then the conversation gets real. They talk about the mental load of the school year, why middle school is such a big transition, how much of it is really the "noise" around the coursework, and what it means to let your kids figure things out without tying their achievements to your worthiness. If you're a parent trying to be more chill than your instincts allow, this one's for you. In This Episode Back-to-school shopping memories from the '90s, and how different it feels today Why kids' wardrobes, and parents' spending, have changed Reusing supplies instead of replacing everything: Kelly shares reporting that 28% of parents plan to reuse last year's items The financial strain of back-to-school season Why backpacks are the size of a body when lockers go unused The textbook maze: ebooks, physical books, and being "analog learners" Supply lists that never get used (and the supplies kids won't let you remove) Raising kids who follow the rules when you're the "efficiency over rules" type Trying to be "chill" about grades, and where that gets hard Why middle school is a lot: new teachers, hormones, and executive function expectations Planners, calendars, and communication: what helps kids stay on top of assignments Transparency vs. "tricking" students: why knowing what's coming isn't cheating Seeing the teacher's side while still advocating from the parent side Letting go of micromanaging school and keeping the relationship at the center Timestamps (approximate) 00:05 – Welcome and why back to school feels so different now 00:24 – Back-to-school shopping memories: the outfits, the socks, the stirrup pants 02:30 – Today's version: uniforms, one pair of shoes, and teens with opinions on fashion 05:00 – Why is it different? Cost, quality, and where clothes come from 05:39 – Reusing supplies and the financial strain of the season 06:40 – Backpacks, binders, and the no-lockers reality 07:57 – Textbooks, ebooks, and analog learners 10:26 – The supply inventory: "Are you using this?" 12:03 – Rule followers, blending in, and efficiency over rules 13:00 – The grind of the school year and trying to be chill about grades 15:20 – Letting kids navigate it themselves: achievement isn't worthiness 17:40 – The middle school transition and the "noise" around coursework 19:04 – Planners, teacher communication, and executive function 20:23 – Syllabi, transparency, and the "real world" 22:36 – The teacher's perspective and staying curious 23:40 – Letting go of micromanaging, plus what's next Reflection Questions What did back to school mean to you as a kid, and how does that shape the way you approach it as an adult? Where are you doing something out of habit that isn't actually serving you or your family? What would it look like to give the people you love space to figure something out, even when you can see the bumps coming? How do you separate someone else's achievements from your own sense of worth? Freebie of the Month Grab this month's The One Thing worksheet by signing up for the newsletter at chasingbrighter.com. Join the Conversation How are you doing with back to school? Send us a DM on Instagram at @chasingbrighter and tell us what's working, what isn't, and where you're trying to let go. Keywords & Search Terms back to school, back to school stress, back to school shopping, back to school then vs now, parenting middle schoolers, sixth grade transition, middle school parenting, executive function in kids, letting go as a parent, micromanaging school, parenting teens, parenting tweens, mom life, mental load, working moms, sisters podcast, women's podcast, lockers, backpacks, school supplies, reusing school supplies, back to school budget, ebooks vs textbooks, teacher communication, planners and organization, grades and worthiness, achievement and worthiness, raising independent kids, intrinsic motivation, rule followers, 90s nostalgia, Superwoman Diaries, Chasing Brighter, Becoming Not Arriving, personal development for women, self-care, lively living, connection Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter signup: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter

Do you have high standards, or are you sabotaging yourself and calling it perfectionism? This week Jessica and Kelly dig into the sneaky ways perfectionism disguises itself as a virtue — and why it can be one of the most sophisticated ways we keep ourselves safe. They unpack the real clinical difference between standards that move you forward and self-sabotage that quietly keeps you stuck, share personal examples (hello, unposted Instagram drafts), and offer a few honest questions to help you tell which one you're actually dealing with. In This Episode Why "having high standards" can be a more socially acceptable cover story for perfectionism The clinical distinction that matters most: high standards move you toward something, while self-sabotage keeps you from it — even though they can look identical on the surface How Carol Dweck's research on praise, mindset, and risk-aversion shows up in adult perfectionism Socially prescribed perfectionism — when the standard feels like it's coming from outside you — and why it's the version that does the most damage Two questions to ask yourself when you're not sure which one you're facing: Is the bar specific, or does it keep moving? Genuine standards have a finish line; perfectionism doesn't, because the point is never completion. Does "not good enough yet" protect you from a specific fear? If the fear is about being seen, judged, or found out, it's a vulnerability problem — not a quality problem. Why naming the fear ("name it to tame it") shrinks it, and how avoidance makes it bigger than it actually is A reminder that this isn't about perfectionism being bad — caring about how things turn out isn't the problem; it's about getting curious about what the pattern is protecting you from Brighter Moves Kelly's move: Name one thing you've been refining past the point of readiness. Ask yourself honestly — is this next round of changes making it better, or are you just not ready to let it be seen? You don't have to change anything yet. Just notice. Jessica's move: Sit with this question this week — what would I finish or share if I knew that scared and good enough could coexist? Because they can. You don't need to feel calm to be ready. This Month's Freebie The One Thing Starter worksheet — a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name the one thing you've been putting off and take the one small step toward it. Grab it when you sign up for our newsletter at chasingbrighter.com. Coming Up Next Week No framework, no teaching — Jessica and Kelly sit down and get honest about what they've each personally been putting off, including the things they haven't said out loud yet. Connect With Us Website: chasingbrighter.com Instagram: @chasingbrighter TikTok: @chasingbrighter Facebook: @chasingbrighter YouTube: @chasingbrighter Newsletter: Sign up here   perfectionism, self-sabotage, high standards vs perfectionism, socially prescribed perfectionism, Carol Dweck mindset, fixed mindset vs growth mindset, fear of judgment, imposter syndrome, procrastination, avoidance, anxiety, name it to tame it, vulnerability, self-worth, achievement and worthiness, women and confidence, social media perfectionism, fear of being seen, personal growth, mental health podcast, Chasing Brighter, Real Over Perfect, sisters podcast

Jessica and Kelly dig into the viral "2026 is the new 2016" trend — the exercise of looking back a decade and asking who you were then, what you miss, and what you don't. The conversation quickly turns into a heart-to-heart about parenting through transitions: Kelly reflecting on missing her kids' toddler years, and Jessica processing the very fresh experience of dropping her oldest daughter, Gabby, off at college. They talk through the emotional whiplash of watching a child thrive without you, the mental load that shifts (and doesn't) once a kid leaves home, and how far "away at school" really feels in 2026 versus a generation ago. What We Talk About The "2016 vs. now" trend and why picturing a specific year is so hard to do without anchoring on your kids' ages Kelly's mixed feelings about missing her kids' younger years while not missing the exhaustion that came with them Jessica's take on grief as a recurring, transition-by-transition experience — not a one-time event Why going all-in on college visits, extended orientation, and getting to know the campus made the drop-off easier The behind-the-scenes of choosing the right-fit school, and how a five-day orientation builds fast bonding and retention How support systems (mentors, upperclassmen "hosts," roommates) ease the transition for freshmen The temptation to monitor kids via apps like Life360 — and choosing not to How the household mental load shifts when a "squeaky wheel" kid leaves versus a low-maintenance one Meal plans, Venmo cards, and DoorDash culture — how Gen Z's relationship with food and money differs from their parents' childhoods Why immersive campus culture (walkable, self-contained "mini worlds") shapes the college experience differently than it did a generation ago Reflection Questions What year would you pick if someone asked you "when do you wish you could go back to"? What does that answer say about what you actually miss? Is there a transition in your life right now that you're grieving even as you're also excited about it? Where are you holding onto more control (checking in, monitoring, managing) than you actually need to? Connect With Us 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com 📸 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🎵 TikTok: @chasingbrighter 📘 Facebook: @chasingbrighter ▶️ YouTube: @chasingbrighter 💌 Get our free monthly resource — sign up for the newsletter: chasingbrighter.com/newsletter 2026 is the new 2016, sending kids to college, empty nest, college drop off, parenting transitions, letting go of your kids, college orientation, freshman year college, mental load parenting, Gen Z college life, meal plan college, Life360 parenting, empty nest grief, college move in day, sisters podcast, midlife motherhood, parenting older kids, college readiness, letting your teenager grow up, nostalgia trend, women's mental health podcast

Last week we talked about "I'm not ready yet" as fear dressed up as logic. This week, Jessica and Kelly pull on that thread further to unpack the credential trap — the pattern of adding one more certification, one more year of experience, one more thing to point to before you'll let yourself begin. It looks like ambition and diligence from the outside, but underneath it is often a single question: do I have the right to be here? Kelly shares her own story of pursuing (and ultimately not needing) her MBA and her PMP certification, and Jessica opens up about the moments in 21 years of clinical practice where she's felt the pull toward "just one more" credential — including EMDR certification — even when she knew it wasn't what she actually needed. Together they explore the real difference between preparation and permission-seeking, why this pattern is so deeply tied to how women are socialized, and why the research shows this isn't always "just" imposter syndrome — for many women, and especially women of color, the extra proof they're gathering is a rational response to systems that really do demand more of them. What We Cover The credential trap as its own specific pattern — distinct from procrastination Kelly's story with her MBA, the GMAT, and working alongside colleagues with and without advanced degrees Kelly's PMP certification journey and what she learned about not needing the piece of paper Reshma Saujani's framing: girls are taught to be perfect, boys are taught to be brave A KPMG finding that 75% of female executives report experiencing imposter syndrome, often coping by adding more credentials Jessica on 21 years in clinical practice, the pull toward EMDR certification, and choosing brainspotting instead The real test: is this new knowledge you don't have, or is it a delay? And who are you imagining will finally give you permission? A Harvard Business Review perspective pushing back on "just fix your imposter syndrome" — for many women, especially women of color, the extra preparation is a rational response to real bias, not just a mindset issue Preparation vs. permission-seeking: preparation moves you toward something; permission-seeking keeps you at a safe distance Brighter Moves Jessica: Instead of asking "Am I qualified enough?" ask "Am I curious enough? Am I committed enough? Do I care about this enough?" Qualifications get you in the room — commitment keeps you there. Kelly: Audit one thing you're waiting to finish before you start something else. Ask honestly: is this genuinely necessary, or is it a sophisticated way to stay safe? You don't have to act on the answer — just answer it. This Week's Freebie 📥 [Grab your free download here] — The One Thing Starter Worksheet: a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name the one thing you've been putting off and take one small step toward it. Coming Up Next Week Jessica and Kelly tackle perfectionism — but not in the way you'd expect. Most women who struggle with it don't identify as perfectionists; they identify as someone with "high standards." That reframe is the trap. Connect With Us 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com 📸 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🎵 TikTok: @chasingbrighter 👍 Facebook: @chasingbrighter ▶️ YouTube: @chasingbrighter 📩 Newsletter signup credential trap, imposter syndrome, women and imposter syndrome, permission seeking vs preparation, overqualification, professional confidence, women in leadership, KPMG imposter syndrome study, Reshma Saujani, Harvard Business Review imposter syndrome, women of color and bias, MBA, PMP certification, EMDR certification, brainspotting, credentialism, self-doubt at work, career confidence, chasing brighter podcast, feeling qualified, waiting to start, fear of not being enough, workplace bias, systemic bias, procrastination and fear, one thing starter worksheet

In this week's Superwoman Diaries, Jessica shares how she's been using ChatGPT as an unexpected style consultant on her weight loss journey. What started as a simple question — "how do I dress this changing body?" — turned into a full-blown "Jessica Style Playbook," complete with a closet audit, body-shape analysis, and outfit ratings. Kelly and Jessica dig into why understanding why something works on your body (not just that it does) is so much more useful than generic style rules, and how tools like this can replace — or at least prep you for — a stylist consultation. What We Talk About Jessica's "love affair" with using ChatGPT to analyze her body type, closet, and outfit photos Building a personalized "Jessica Style Playbook": color schemes, silhouettes, and a closet audit Discovering her body shape ("soft apple" with athletic shoulders) and what that means for fit Why a higher neckline, higher waistband, and structured double-fabric tops work better for her frame Getting outfit ratings and specific feedback (down to the neckline) from AI Comparing the AI experience to in-person stylists at Aritzia and Evereve How sizing inconsistency between brands complicates in-store shopping Kelly's take on Evereve's Trendsend box service and why in-store pickup gets you more options How bodies and style needs shift as we age — more structure, higher waistlines, more intentional fit Jessica's new favorite: a double-fabric Lululemon workout top she can't stop buying in every color Why feeling good in your clothes is directly tied to confidence Mentioned in This Episode ChatGPT — the AI tool Jessica used to build her style playbook Lululemon — for the double-fabric workout top Jessica is now obsessed with Aritzia — clothing store Jessica visited for a button-down shirt Evereve — stylist-supported clothing store, including their Trendsend box service This Month's Freebie The One Thing Starter Worksheet — a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name the one thing you've been putting off and take one step toward it. Get it, plus more free resources and the blog, at chasingbrighter.com. ChatGPT styling, AI personal stylist, weight loss journey, body confidence, dressing for your body type, soft apple body shape, capsule wardrobe, closet audit, wardrobe playbook, athletic shoulders, high waistband, structured tops, aging and style, Lululemon workout tops, Aritzia review, Evereve Trendsend, stylist vs AI, outfit confidence, sisters podcast, midlife style, Chasing Brighter

In this episode, they unpack why "I'm not ready yet" sounds responsible but is usually just fear in disguise, why readiness is a decision instead of a feeling, and how the question "Am I ready?" is a lot less useful than "Am I willing?" Jessica shares how she's built almost everything in her life — from her private practice to both podcasts — by starting before she felt ready, and Kelly gets honest about the goals she's been quietly putting off. What We Cover The difference between fear and being unready — and why we so often confuse the two Why perfectionism convinces us that "exactly right" and "not at all" are the only two options The idea that starters, even imperfect ones, tend to outpace people who wait to feel ready Why "I'm not ready" can be less about capability and more about belonging or perfectionism Reframing the question from "Am I ready?" to "Am I willing?" The myth of the perfect starting point, and why the conditions we're waiting for rarely arrive on their own Brighter Moves Kelly's move: Write down one thing you've been saying "not yet" to. You don't need to fix it or plan it — just name it. Jessica's move: Ask yourself, "What would I do this week if I knew being scared was allowed?" Not comfortable, not certain — just allowed. Free Download of the Month: Just One Thing This month's freebie is the Just One Thing starter worksheet — a simple, no-pressure tool to help you name one thing you've been putting off and take one real step toward it.   📥 [Grab your free download here] Connect With Us 🌐 Website: chasingbrighter.com 📸 Instagram: @chasingbrighter 🎵 TikTok: @chasingbrighter 👍 Facebook: @chasingbrighter ▶️ YouTube: @chasingbrighter 📩 Newsletter signup Coming Up Next Week Why do we keep adding credentials, experience, and proof before we let ourselves begin? Why does no amount of qualifying ever feel like enough — and who set that bar in the first place? Join us next week as we dig in. becoming not arriving, season 6, starting before you're ready, fear vs readiness, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, women and perfectionism, personal growth, starting a business, overthinking, procrastination, willingness vs readiness, Just One Thing worksheet, Chasing Brighter podcast