Advertise on podcast: The Divorcing Religion Podcast

Stella McCormick is a survivor, advocate, and writer whose work explores religious trauma, control, family estrangement, and rebuilding trust in yourself after being taught not to. Stella grew up as one of 9 children in a deeply isolated, high-control Christian family. Today, she serves in the U.S. Navy Reserve as a civilian sexual assault victim advocate for the U.S. Army, and is pursuing a PhD in Criminal Justice. She has also written about her experience in her memoir, Deliver Us From Mother: Faith, Fear, and the Family Cult That Broke Me. Support the show

Today I’m joined by Dr. Chris Miller, a postdoctoral researcher with the Nonreligion in a Complex Future project at the University of Ottawa. Chris studies how belief, identity, and community take shape, especially among groups outside the mainstream. His work spans everything from Mormon efforts toward legitimacy to contemporary Paganism. At the core of his research is a simple but powerful question: how do people create meaning and belonging in a complex world? Today we discuss Death Cafes, changes in societal approaches to death, and the importance of community in times of mourning. Support the show

Susan grew up as a homeschooled Pentecostal kid on California’s central coast, immersed in End Times theology and waiting for the Rapture to arrive at any moment. As an adult, her faith began to unravel just as her mother became increasingly drawn into conspiracy theories, eventually declaring herself a flat-earther. Those experiences led Susan to write The Earth Is Flat?! And Other Things My Mother Taught Me, where she explores faith, doubt, family, identity, and a question many of us have faced: Can relationships survive when loved ones no longer share the same reality? Support the show

Guest: LILIA TARAWA The Politics of Purity: Sex and Power in Closed Communities Lilia Tarawa was born and raised in the isolated Christian fundamentalist cult of Gloriavale in New Zealand, a place where every aspect of life, from clothing to relationships to sexuality, was tightly controlled. In her powerful TEDx Talk: I grew up in a cult. It was heaven – and hell, and in her book Daughter of Gloriavale, she shares what it took to break free. Upon leaving, Lilia began the complex and painful work of untangling belief from autonomy, obedience from consent, and purity from power. In this conversation, we’re diving into control, conditioning, sexuality, gender roles, and what it really takes to reclaim your body and your voice after growing up in a high-control religious system. FIND LILIA TARAWA • Book: Daughter of Gloriavale • Socials: @liliatarawa IG, TikTok • YouTube channel  @LiliaTarawa   • Tedx Talk "Freedom Seeker" Support the show

Sex & Power Podcast Guest: Dr. Lucas Wilson Title: Shame Sex Attraction  My guest today is Dr. Lucas Wilson, who is a Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Toronto. His research centers on White Christian nationalism, with a focus on gender and sexuality; specifically on conservative Christian homophobia and transphobia. Dr. Wilson’s book Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors' Stories of Conversion Therapyis an eye-opening look at the disturbing and dehumanizing practices Queer people have suffered under the guise of therapy to make them conform to heterosexuality. As a former evangelical who is also a survivor of conversion therapy, Dr. Wilson has first-hand understanding of such practices. If you were moved by the film Boy Erased, by Garrard Conley, you won’t want to miss our conversation today. Bio  Dr. Lucas Wilson is a SSHRC Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Toronto Mississauga and was formerly the Justice, Equity, and Transformation Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Calgary. He is the editor of Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy and the co-editor of Emerging Trends in Third-Generation Holocaust Literature. He is also the author of At Home with the Holocaust: Postmemory, Domestic Space, and Second-Generation Holocaust Literature, which received the Jordan Schnitzer First Book Publication Award. His public-facing writing has appeared in The Advocate, Queerty, LGBTQ Nation, and Religion Dispatches, among other venues. He is currently working on a new edited collection about queer experiences at Christian colleges, universities, and seminaries (under contract with University of Georgia Press).  Social Media Handles for Dr. Wilson - Instagram: @lukeslamdunkwilson - Threads: @lukeslamdunkwilson - TikTok: @lukeslamdunkwilson - Bluesky: @lukeslamdunkwilson.bsky.social - Twitter/X: @wilson_fw - LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucas-wilson-2a0753b1/  - Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/luke.wilson.96  Support the show

Sex & Power Podcast Guest: Sammy, Haram Doodles My guest today is ex-Muslim atheist, artist, and activist Sammy, the creator behind Haram Doodles. Raised in the U.S. as a first-generation South Asian Muslim, Sammy left Islam over a decade ago. In her words, she left “because I’m a woman.” In this episode, Sammy shares what it was like growing up with strict religious expectations for girls, and how creating Haram Doodles became her way of exposing double standards and telling the stories many Muslim women were never allowed to voice.  FIND SAMMY:  www.haramdoodles.com Instagram @haramdoodles TikTok @HaramDoodles X @haramdoodles YouTube HaramDoodles   FIND JANICE SELBIE, MPCC Janice Selbie is a clinical counsellor, religious recovery coach, best-selling author, speaker, and educator. 🔹 Follow Janice on social media: @DivorcingReligion    🔹 Free Consultation: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/    🔹 Free Religious Trauma Support Group: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/free-religious-trauma-support-group   This podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, contact your local Emergency Services for assistance.   Views expressed by guests are not necessarily those of the host. Support the show

Dr. Janja Lalich on The Sex & Power Podcast Guest: Dr. Janja Lalich Title: Exploitation of Women in Cults Host: Janice Selbie, MPCC Warning: This episode discusses SA and coercion in cults  Dr. Janja Lalich is one of the world’s leading authorities on cults, coercive control, and authoritarian influence. A sociologist, researcher, and cult survivor herself, Dr. Lalich has spent decades exposing how high-control groups operate beneath the surface of belief, belonging, and power. She is the founder of the Lalich Center on Cults & Coercion and the author of groundbreaking works on charismatic authority and bounded choice.    In her powerful research on psychosexual exploitation, Dr. Lalich makes a critical point: sexual abuse in cults is not a side effect. It is a system - A mechanism of control.   Today, we’re pulling back the curtain on the intersection of sex, power, and control, and asking how these dynamics take hold, why they persist, and what it takes to break free.   Dr Lalich Links: https://www.lalichcenter.org/ https://lalichcenterce.thinkific.com/courses/lalichcenterCE https://www.facebook.com/JanjaLalichResources/ https://www.instagram.com/lalichcenter/ Support the show

Katherine Spearing has spent years listening to the stories most churches would rather stay silent about. As the founder of Tears of Eden, she works directly with survivors of spiritual abuse, helping people untangle trauma, reclaim autonomy, and rebuild trust in themselves after systems of faith have caused harm. Her work centers on the lived realities of abuse, power, and control inside religious spaces—and what it actually takes to heal on the other side. A Certified Trauma Recovery Practitioner with a master’s degree in Religion and Cultures, Katherine also hosted the groundbreaking podcast Uncertain for five seasons, creating space for long-overdue conversations about abuse in churches. Her book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts: The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse and Life on the Other Side, explores the subtle, insidious nature of spiritual abuse and the slow, courageous work of recovery. FIND KATHERINE SPEARING: Follow at www.katherinespearing.com; Instagram @katherinespearing; Facebook @spearingkatherine ABOUT S&P HOST JANICE SELBIE, MPCC: Janice is a clinical counsellor, religious trauma recovery coach, and the best-selling author of Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook: https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo. In addition to private practice, Janice is the founder of the Conference on Religious Trauma (CORT), and the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture Conference. Learn about her free, online support group here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/free-religious-trauma-support-group. Her other podcast is called Divorcing Religion: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast. The ULTIMATE Deconstruction Guide and Workbook is available now: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/product-page/the-ultimate-deconstruction-guide-and-workbook. FIND JANICE: DivorcingReligion.com; Instagram @divorcingreligion ; Threads @divorcingreligion  Support the show

FIND JANICE: Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here: https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with others for support: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services Need help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/ Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/janiceselbie The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular mental health clinician.  The views expressed by guests on the Sex & Power Podcast are not necessarily held by the host. Support the show

Sex & Power: Chris Tompkins - The Truth About Shame: Chris Tompkins on Love, Liberation, and LGBTQ Resilience Chris Tompkins is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who specializes in working with adult gay men. He is also the author of the APA award-winning book Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground. Chris has a Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University, with a specialization in LGBTQ Affirmative Psychology. In addition to being a therapist, Chris is a writer and public speaker. His work has been featured on TEDx, NBC, HuffPost, Psychology Today, The Advocate, and more. Today, Chris shares his experiences growing up with non-affirming religion and the shame that it caused him as he recognized his same-sex attraction. From first romantic experiences to coming out to family, Chris candidly discusses his journey, highlighting the normalcy of curiosity and the power of self-compassion.  FIND CHRIS: https://linktr.ee/aroadtriptolove?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=85ae724f-a9c8-49bf-9b08-78de90aa052e FIND JANICE: Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here: https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with others for support: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services Need help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/ Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/janiceselbie The Sex & Power Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular mental health clinician.  The views expressed by guests on the Sex & Power Podcast are not necessarily held by the host. Support the show

Clara Ritger spent her 20s building a successful media career — producing for U.S. national media such as NBC, WSJ, and TLC — while secretly battling chronic illness and burnout. A ruptured appendix, major abdominal surgery, and skin cancer forced her to reevaluate everything. In this episode, Clara shares how she burned it all down, why rest and healing are radical acts, and what she’s learned about choosing alignment over performance. FIND CLARA: Clara Ritger is a writer, trauma-informed meditation teacher, and inspirational speaker. Follow her on Threads and Instagram @clararitger. Her newsletter Adventure to Awaken adventuretoawaken.com shares insights and perspective shifts from the journey to come home to yourself. Get Clara Ritger’s free, 56-page guide to taking a solo retreat here: http://adventuretoawaken.com/solo-retreat-guide  FIND JANICE: Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here: https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Don’t miss this opportunity to connect with others for support: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services Need help on your journey of healing from Religious Trauma? Book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/ Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/janiceselbie The Sex & Power Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular mental health clinician.  The views expressed by guests on the Sex & Power Podcast are not necessarily held by the host. Support the show

The Sex & Power Podcast: Truth-telling that liberates with Mike Steve Collins: The Anti-Civil Rights Movement Mike Collins is the author of The Anti-Civil Rights Movement: Affirmative Action as Wedge and Weapon (University Press of Kansas, 2024), Understanding Etheridge Knight, updated edition (University of South Carolina Press, 2023), and The Traveling Queen (poems, Sheep Meadow Press, 2013). His essays have appeared in Harper’s Magazine, The Oxford American, The Cambridge Companion to American Prison Writing and Mass Incarceration, Fight & Fiddle, Callaloo, PMLA, and elsewhere. His poems have appeared in New Letters, About Place, 32 Poems, The Rupture, JAMA, The American Journal of Poetry, and elsewhere. He teaches at Texas A & M University. https://kansaspress.ku.edu/9780700637140/    Our conversation today focuses on his recent book The Anti-Civil Rights Movement: Affirmative Action as Wedge and Weapon, where Mike examines how policies created to promote opportunity and fairness were slowly reshaped into tools that divided the very groups they were meant to empower. FIND MIKE on TikTok @mike.steve.collins FIND JANICE SELBIE: Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/ Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: linktr.ee/janiceselbie The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host. Support the show

Detra Denise - Ashes and Embers: How Detra Denise Turned Pain into Power PART 2 In this episode, Detra shares what it was like to go from obscurity to fame after being featured in a 15-part series in the Humans of New York. She also opens up about being offered protection by the gents of the Harlem Cigar Room, and what kept her moving forward instead of giving up. DETRA’S LINKS: http://www.detrasstory.com/ https://www.instagram.com/onewomannyc1?igsh=MWl2cDB2ZWptYmRlMA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.facebook.com/detra.denise.52 https://youtu.be/gj4alIQTka4?si=VD1hLyzE8iztnBd9 FIND JANICE SELBIE: Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/ Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: linktr.ee/janiceselbie The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host. Support the show

Detra Denise - Ashes and Embers: How Detra Denise Turned Pain into Power PART 1  Content Warning: CSA, suicidality, familial estrangement My guest today is Detra Denise, a former pastor's wife who dared to change her life in unimaginable ways. After leaving her toxic marriage, Detra moved to New York City to start over. Thanks to both her love of connecting with people and her musical and storytelling skills, Detra built an exciting and meaningful new life for herself—and was featured in Brandon Stanton's "Humans of New York" along the way!  From writing and performing her own one-woman musical show to creating her own premium cigar line, Detra's story of resilience is powerful and deeply moving. DETRA’S LINKS: http://www.detrasstory.com/ https://www.instagram.com/onewomannyc1?igsh=MWl2cDB2ZWptYmRlMA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.facebook.com/detra.denise.52 https://youtu.be/gj4alIQTka4?si=VD1hLyzE8iztnBd9 FIND JANICE SELBIE: Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/ Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: linktr.ee/janiceselbie The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host. Support the show

This week on the Sex & Power Podcast, I'll be speaking with Kiki Negress, The Uppity Negress. Kiki Bryant is known across platforms as the Uppity Negress: a brilliant, incisive voice on race, feminism, religion, and culture. She is also an entrepreneur and creator. In this episode, Kiki shares about the painful childhood that helped shape her bold, intersectional style of truth-telling. Join us to learn what she wishes white feminists would understand about allyship and power dynamics, and a whole lot more. FOLLOW KIKI https://uppitynegress.com/ https://www.threads.com/@uppity_negress_ https://www.instagram.com/uppity_negress_/ FIND JANICE SELBIE: Janice Selbie's best-selling book, Divorcing Religion: A Memoir and Survival Handbook, is available here. https://amzn.to/4mnDxuo Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference 2025 available here. https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/ Religious Trauma Survivor Support Groups happen online Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern. Sign up here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services For help with recovery from religious trauma, book a free 20-minute consultation with Janice here. https://www.divorcing-religion.com/services Follow Janice and Divorcing Religion on Social Media: linktr.ee/janiceselbie The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician. The views expressed by guests are not necessarily held by the host. Support the show