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Thank you so much for being here! Lately, my algorithm has been feeding me content on fashion psychology, and I am obsessed! I needed a fun topic for today, and keeping in line with my intention to be a bit selfish in October, I thought we'd have a conversation about it because it is so fascinating to look at how fashion reflects our identities and communicates - intentionally or unintentionally - that identity with others. Because who are we really dressing for? In this episode of Reframing Me, we're exploring the fascinating psychology of fashion and what our clothing choices reveal about identity, confidence, belonging, and self-expression. From enclothed cognition and the male gaze to the pressure to fit in and the expectations surrounding how women should dress as we age, we're looking at how what we wear communicates not only to others, but also to ourselves. We'll talk about the difference between enjoying looking attractive and wanting others to find us attractive, why compliments can feel so meaningful, and what happens when we stop dressing for an imagined audience and start paying attention to what we actually like. Because sometimes fashion isn't about impressing anyone, attracting attention, or making a statement. Sometimes we just like the outfit. And that's enough. The book I couldn't remember the name of is The Art of Intentional Dressing by Erin Walsh. References Adam, H., & Galinsky, A. D. (2012). Enclothed cognition. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(4), 918–925. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2012.02.008 Fredrickson, B. L., & Roberts, T.-A. (1997). Objectification theory: Toward understanding women's lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21(2), 173–206. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1471-6402.1997.tb00108.x Kaiser, S. B. (1983). Toward a contextual social psychology of clothing: A synthesis of symbolic interactionist and cognitive theoretical perspectives. Clothing and Textiles Research Journal, 2(1), Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Reframing Me, we’re talking about identity, but not in a “find yourself” or completely reinvent your life kind of way. We’re starting with the way identity is actually built: through our roles, relationships, experiences, the feedback we receive from other people, and the parts of ourselves that get reinforced over time. After a night seeing Olivia Rodrigo with my daughter, I found myself thinking about how comfortable she seems holding so many different parts of herself at once. That connected with something else I’ve been thinking about lately through relational dialectics, especially the tension between integration and separation. As everyone in my family grows more into their own individual lives, I’ve been noticing how much of my energy still goes toward keeping us connected as a whole, and how little space I sometimes leave for my own separation, wants, and preferences. So in this episode, we’re walking through some of the identity work together. Who are you? Where did those identities come from? Which parts of you have become especially central? What qualities exist underneath your roles? What still feels true, and what might you simply be very good at being because you’ve been doing it for years? We’ll also talk about the question I keep coming back to: Who would I be if I were truly free? Not free from responsibility, relationships, or real life, but free from expectation long enough to notice what actually feels like you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for being here! It's nearly October, and after August and September being focused outside - getting a routine in place, everyone's schedules together, all of the pieces in their places, I need a breath. We all know what November and December bring - and so October is a good time to take that breath - be a bit selfish even - focus on us. Reframe the idea that selfish is bad - that we must earn or justify our rewards. October is for us! So start today with this Jen is Zen prompt, and ask yourself "What would I be, who would I be if I was truly free?" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to the show! Thank you so much for being here!! As our kids get older, the conversations we have with them get harder. Sex, drugs, alcohol, consent, body image, mental health, relationships, safety, world events, and all of the things we wish we could protect them from forever. In this episode, I’m talking about why the goal isn’t to have one perfect “talk.” It’s to create a family communication climate where difficult topics are normal, conversations deepen as our kids grow, and they know they can come to us when something gets complicated. Because eventually, we can’t control the dorm, the party, the relationship, the driver, or the rest of the world, but we can make sure that when our kids don’t know what to do, we are still one of the people they call. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here!! If I could apologize to the woman I was before…. If you could apologize to the woman you were before, what would you say? Can you forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now?  On the first non-sweltering day of September, I was excited to wear my white jeans. Well, white jeans 1, Jen 0. I spiraled, criticizing every bit of my appearance and losing my gratitude for all my body does for me.  Thankfully, I’m not that Jen anymore. I’m not the woman who would let a pair of white jeans determine her entire value as a human. Who I am now is the kind of woman who, yes, still criticizes herself. Who still spirals at times. But now I’m the woman who can step back and look at the situation and see it for what it is. I wish I could go back and apologize to the woman I was who took so much abuse from herself. Can you forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now? If you could apologize to the woman you were, what would you say? And can you let her forgive you for it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to the show! Thank you for being here! I am back in the classroom for my 26th year teaching college, but this year is especially exciting for me because after six years of teaching only online, I am back in the in-person physical classroom, and I am loving it! I cannot believe how much that one change has resonated through my whole life!  I started the semester of my family communication class establishing my 10 underlying or guiding principles about families, and wow! did I enjoy putting this list together! Today, we're going through all ten. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here!  We don’t get to choose everything that happens in our day, but we do get to choose how we greet it. We get to choose how we see something. We get to frame every situation we encounter. We get to frame our lives. Realizing that, how do you want to frame today? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here! It's hard to believe it's been four years since I had my last middle schooler... the wounds are still fresh y'all (haha! - I'm just being "dramatic"). As someone who spent six consecutive years with one or two kids in middle school - two boys, one girl - all different personalities, I consider myself to be a credible expert, so let me share with you 20 tips for surviving middle school parenting - 20 things that in hindsight, would have made life a lot easier.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here! What does it really mean to be a good person? I am inspired today by Dolly Parton’s legacy of kindness and generosity. Has our culture’s obsession with self-improvement distracted us from the most important kind of growth. Through everyday choices to lead with empathy, compassion, generosity, and integrity, we each have countless opportunities to make the world around us a little better. Maybe becoming our “best” selves isn’t about achieving more at all. Maybe it’s about putting more good into the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here!! Sending a child to college changes more than where they live. It changes the parent-child relationship, and the way we communicate has to change with it. Supporting independence doesn’t require disappearing, just as staying close doesn’t mean monitoring, interrogating, or solving every problem. Strong relationships with college-aged kids are built by learning how they communicate, showing interest in the ordinary details of their lives, giving them room to make their own choices, knowing when they need encouragement versus real support, and making it safe for them to share the hard stuff. Their college experience belongs to them, and it may look nothing like ours. As they learn to need us differently, the goal isn’t to make them prove they still want us in their lives. It’s to keep creating the kind of relationship they want to participate in and to make sure they always know they can come to us.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here! How much do you edit yourself to fit others’ expectations of you? Do you let others’ expectations define you? How often do you find yourself editing who you are to be who others want you to be? Or behave how others want you to behave? Or look how others want you to look? Maybe the part of people pleasing we don't talk about enough is the part that recognizes that we can't control what other people expect from us. We can't control how they evaluate us. We can't control whether somebody misunderstands us. We can't control whether someone thinks we should be doing more. We can't control whether somebody likes our work, our choices, our clothes, our parenting, our personality, our podcast, our priorities – any of it. But we can control whether we automatically accept their assessment as truth. And maybe that's the part of people pleasing we don't talk about enough. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for being here!  I am grateful for this day. I am grateful for this moment.  Most gratitude that we show is situational. It's reactive. That's gratitude because of our circumstances. Intentional gratitude is something entirely different. Intentional gratitude isn't asking, "What happened today that I can be grateful for?" It's asking, "How can I experience today from a place of gratitude?" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here!  A favorite assignment I give my Family Communication Students is to observe their own family dynamics, applying concepts they've learned. After spending four days with 20 family members in a one beach house, I realized that there are some basic family concepts that could definitely be applied. So let's revisit some of the more applicable family communication concepts: nonvolition, conflict, roles, punctuation, and metaphors. Because we might not be able to fix family issues, but having the language and understanding of them always makes it better. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back!! I'm so happy you're here! You don't need to attend every emotional event you're invited to. I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with declining an invitation and opting to stay home and do nothing - in fact, it's kinda my favorite activity! Similarly, I've also come to realize that we need to protect our peace and siphon our energy, and so we absolutely don't need to attend every emotional event we're invited to - our own or someone else's. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you so much for being here!  I'm reading Matt Cook's book Beyond Wanting, and I may only be five chapters in, but it has already made such an impact on me. As someone who has both studied identity communication and practiced manifestation for years, I am shook to see a link between the two that I really hadn't before. Approaching it through his Be-Do-Have model, I discuss approaching identity in the same way.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.