Advertise on podcast: It's Not About the Alcohol

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Would you like to reduce your alcohol consumption by 80 percent so you can enjoy drinking socially without relying on alcohol to manage your stress, anxiety, loneliness and boredom when you're by yourself? Most high achieving women assume over-drinking is caused by a lack of willpower--or worse, the incurable disease of "alcoholism." So they beat themselves up and avoid asking for help because they feel ashamed and out of control. Whether you're a daily drinker who can't break the habit, or you're still going to sobriety meetings even though you don't drink anymore, the real problem is that you don't trust yourself. Which means it's not about the alcohol. It's about your relationship with yourself. I'm an intuitive drinking coach helping professional women learn how drinking less (or not at all) is actually a superpower, even when the idea of giving up the only thing that helps them quiet their mind feels impossible. The solution to alcohol use disorder is a FEELING. If you felt comfortable in your own skin and at ease in your life, you would drink like someone who is comfortable and at ease! Join me each week for holistic, evidence-based strategies to fix your dopamine deficit, regulate your nervous system, cure imposter syndrome, manage sugar cravings, improve your sleep and reclaim your mental health so you no longer have the urge to escape your own body. Get happy, not sober. Because happy people don't drink themselves into a stupor.

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Check latest episodes from It's Not About the Alcohol podcast

EP359 The hidden reasons why you drink too much (and what really needs to change)

2026/10/14

You've been negotiating new rules every time you break the old ones, and you still can't figure out why "just drink less" never sticks. The answer isn't in your glass. It's in your week. Three client stories show you exactly where the drinking is coming from, and the one question to ask instead of "what's wrong with me." What you'll learn: Why removing the one thing that gives you relief, in a week you haven't changed, backfires The unspoken rules you follow for everyone else and never apply to yourself Why you have plenty of motivation, it's just pointed in the wrong direction What self-care actually is, and why it isn't pedicures and prosecco The small, unimpressive changes that move the needle for high achieving women Join Colleen live for Get Happy, Not Sober on October 23, 24 and 25. [REGISTER HERE] If you'd rather talk to someone now, schedule a call with our enrollment team and they'll help you figure out where to start. Check out our new program options! Emotionalsobrietycoaching.com/programs

EP358 Why you need wine when you're stressed (and how to reduce cravings without whiteknuckling) with Sian Cook

2026/10/06

You eat clean, you handle everything, and by five o'clock you still feel like you need a glass of wine to calm down. Sian Cook, a former client trained in medicine, explains what stress is draining from your brain, why wine feels like the fix, and where to start to change your relationship with alcohol. What you'll learn: Why stress burns through the nutrients your brain needs to feel calm Why wine makes you feel instantly better when you're stressed Why eating clean isn't always enough to give your brain what it needs What it looks like when wine shifts from a need to a want Click here to learn more about Vital Mind Serenity. Type "Colleen" in the discount field for 10% off. (Colleen has no affiliation. She just thinks it's worth knowing about.) Click here to join Colleen's next live Get Happy Not Sober event to uncover the real reasons why reducing your drinking feels harder than it should be. It's an ideal opportunity to work directly with Colleen without making a huge commitment. Referenced in this episode: It's Not About the Alcohol Episode 193: How to use amino acid supplements to fix neurotransmitter deficiences that trigger alcohol cravings

EP357: Your drinking isn't self-indulgent. It's self-denial. Here's the difference.

2026/09/08

You've been telling yourself you drink too much because you love it too much. That's not what's happening. This episode shows you the rules you've been following since childhood that make you say yes to everyone else and no to yourself, and why the drink at the end of the day is the only thing you actually let yourself have. What you'll learn: Why the same rule that makes you reliable for everyone else makes you unavailable to yourself The difference between a Go rule and a No-Go rule, and how to spot both in one decisio Why "I'll just tough it out" costs you more bandwidth, patience and momentum than you think Why trying to reduce your drinking fails when the depletion underneath it doesn't change Get Happy, Not Sober is a live three-day event starting Friday, September 11. Day one, you'll measure the gap between what you'll do for other people and what you'll do for yourself, find the rule causing it, and walk away with one sentence that explains why your relationship with alcohol is out of balance. Day two is the mindful drinking experiment, live with Colleen for VIPs or on your own with the workbook. Day three is coaching and integration. Sessions are Friday and Saturday at 3pm Eastern, Sunday at noon Eastern. Plan on 90 minutes each. VIP spots are limited. [REGISTER HERE]

EP356 The real reason you can't follow through on your promise to "not drink" tonight

2026/08/18

You have discipline in every other area of your life. You follow through, you deliver, you keep everything running. So why is it that the one night you tell yourself no drinking, you pour that first glass like that was the plan all along? This episode explains what's actually driving that, and why willpower can't make it stop. What you'll learn: Why "not drinking" feels harder than anything else on your list What your nervous system is actually reacting to when you sit still Why cutting back so you can get more done backfires every time Why three years of perfect abstinence didn't fix a damn thing The difference between acting like a woman who can take it or leave it and feeling like her Join Colleen this weekend, Aug 21-23 for Get Happy Not Sober, a live three-day event. [Click here to register now.]

EP355 How to be truly free from the desire to drink (without willpower)

2026/08/11

You've done a lot of work and you've definitely improved. But you're still drinking more than you want. And there's a critical voice in your head that keeps insisting you should be doing more–working harder and changing faster. This episode explains why the desire to drink won't lift until you deal with the emotional patterns that are driving it, and what it actually feels like to be free. What you'll learn: Why the "not enough" feeling keeps coming back no matter how much you improve How to stop chasing the outcome and focus on the state of being you want to embody What it will feel like to be able to "take it or leave it" Two reflection questions to help clarify what really needs to change Take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your nervous system, so you know exactly which version of "not enough" you're working with. [Take the Quiz Here] Book a free discovery call with Colleen's team so you can walk away with a new goal (that has nothing to do with alcohol). [Book Your Discovery Call with One of Our Certified Coaches]

EP354: If it feels like your drinking hasn't changed, track this metric instead

2026/08/04

You're still drinking more than you should, and you want to know if real change actually is a slow process, or if you're just making excuses so you don't have to quit. Here's the honest answer, plus a reliable metric to track so that you can feel more confident about your progress. What you'll learn: Why your drinking is usually the last thing to change, not the first Why counting drinks is counterproductive to your progress Why you lose motivation to "drink less," and the perspective shift that helps you stay consistent What to do when you wake up and realize you "did it again" How to tell whether your discomfort is a sign that you're failing or growing Nervous system regulation is the missing puzzle piece for most high-performing women. Register for the free masterclass, The Science Behind Take It or Leave It: Why Some Women Can and How You Can Too. [Watch the Masterclass Here] One conversation won't change your drinking. But it can change your perspective on what you need to focus on. If you want to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be, book a free discovery call. [Book Your Discovery Call Here]

EP353: Your brain talks you into drinking. Here's how to talk back.

2026/07/28

You wake up asking the same question you asked yesterday. What the hell is wrong with me? But you've already decided the answer is that you're drinking is out of control. This episode shows you how the story you keep telling yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and gives you three moves to shift your perspective of what's going on (and what really needs to change). What you'll learn: Why the way you describe your drinking becomes the reality you live in The difference between a real threat and a false alarm Why trying to control or quit drinking backfires, and what actually causes change The three moves that rewrite the story that keeps you stuck in the cycle of overdrinking There are four types of drinkers. Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out which language pattern is running your habit. [Take the Quiz Here] Ready to change your drinking without labeling it a drinking "problem?" Book a free discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches to find out if this approach can work for you. [Book Your Discovery Call Here]

EP352: Drinking turns off your brain. Planning to quit turns it back on. Here's how to break the cycle.

2026/07/21

You wake up feeling rough and decide, "I'm not drinking tonight." For a few hours, that plan feels solid. But evening comes and you pour one anyway. And now your brain has even more evidence that you're not in control. Which makes you less motivated to try again (because what's the point?) This episode shows you why planning to "not drink" often backfires and what to do instead. What you'll learn: Why high achieving "planners" also tend to drink too much How planning to control your drinking builds pressure in your nervous system The one-word pattern-interrupt that shifts you from "planning for later" into action (right now) How to figure out what you really need (it's never a drink) [Click Here] for the Take it or Leave it Roadmap Series. Before you can change your drinking, you have to understand how it's actually helping you. These 5 videos walk you through the whole process of change, starting with why your drinking makes perfect sense. Watch one a day or binge all five in under an hour. [Click Here] to book a free discovery call with Colleen's enrollment team if you know you need guidance, support and accountability. You'll leave with a clear action plan for giving yourself more of what you need, whether you end up working with us or not.

EP351: Why joy is key to drinking less (not discipline)

2026/07/14

You've been telling yourself that if you were more disciplined, then you wouldn't drink as much as you do. But the problem isn't that you need more control. It's that giving yourself permission to relax means that you're wasting time or falling behind. Which is why you need alcohol. This episode explains why expanding your capacity for peace and joy is what actually reduces alcohol cravings, and gives you one small goal to help you get started. What you'll learn: Why GLP1 drugs reduce alcohol cravings (and how to get the same effect on your own) Why motivating yourself with shame and fear makes cravings worse The difference between wanting more from yourself and wanting more for yourself What to do when peace and joy aren't available to you (yet) Not sure why you drink the way you do? Take the quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is running your patterns. [Take the Quiz Now] Ready to stop figuring this out alone? Schedule a free discovery call with the enrollment team. You'll walk away with a customized action plan, your patterns named, and the specific skills you need to build. [Book Your DC Here]

EP350: How to tell the difference between self-care and self-sabotage (before your next drink)

2026/07/07

You set a plan to take a break from drinking and made it a few days. Then you blew it. And now you're trying to figure out why you keep breaking promises to yourself when it comes to alcohol. This episode gives you a step by step strategy (based on curiosity and self-compassion instead of judgment) to help you reduce your drinking. What you'll learn: Why taking a break from drinking isn't about proving you can go without it The five questions to ask after a setback (instead of "what's wrong with me") Why the same glass of wine is self-care one night and self-sabotage the next How to follow your intuition instead of arbitrary rules you're going to break anyway Want to know if this approach can actually work for you? Book a free discovery call with Colleen's enrollment team. It's free, there's no pressure, and you'll leave knowing exactly where you stand. [Book Your Discovery Call Here] Find out what type of drinker you are. Because before you can change HOW you drink, you have to understand WHY you drink. [Click here to take the free quiz].

EP349 Why you can't say no to wine at night (it's a capacity problem, not a willpower problem)

2026/06/30

You keep telling yourself you'll take the night off, or at least stop at two glasses. But then you drain the entire bottle (as usual). This episode shows you why that's not a willpower problem, and walks you through Colleen's Capacity Audit so you can see exactly what's draining you. What you'll learn: Why you reach for wine to relax after work even though you know that's not what you really need Why you can't stop at one glass even when you planned to Why willpower won't help you drink less, and what actually does How to calm your nervous system in three minutes, no drink required The five-category capacity audit that shows you where you're leaking energy Realizing your drinking is a lack of capacity (not willpower) means you've found the problem. If you're looking for the solution, click here to schedule a discovery call. [Book Your Discovery Call] Resources mentioned: It's Not About the Alcohol EP335 I was drinking every night again. Here's how I stopped. And EP337 Why drinking every night destroys your confidence (and how to stop)

EP348: Why wondering if you're an alcoholic makes you drink more (and a better question to ponder)

2026/06/23

If you're an alcoholic, how is it possible that you can get more done before breakfast than most people do in a week? And yet, you still know that you drink too much. So you Google your questions, maybe take the online quizzes, which don't help. This episode gives you a better way to look at your drinking and one specific question that has a much more clear and productive answer. What you'll learn: Why no one can actually tell you whether you're an alcoholic The belief that quietly makes your drinking harder to control How three out of four people who are dependent on alcohol change their drinking without rehab or AA What your nervous system is really asking for when you pour the wine The question to ask instead of "am I an alcoholic?" Want insight into the emotional patterns that are driving your drinking? Take the 3-minute quiz to find out what type of drinker you are. [Take the Quiz Here] Want to know if the "take it or leave it" methodology can work for you? Schedule a discovery call and find out. [Book Your Discovery Call Now]

EP347: Why you can drink a whole bottle and not feel "drunk" (and how to retrain your brain)

2026/06/16

You've always been a little proud of your high tolerance. You can drink grown men under the table and still walk and talk like a rockstar in four inch heels. But lately it scares you. How is it even possible to drink that much and not even feel it? This episode answers that, and shows you how to "feel" the signals in your body that you've trained yourself to ignore. What you'll learn: Why a high tolerance isn't a sign of superior liver function, and what it's actually hiding Why it's actually quite normal for busy and high-functioning women to over-drink How to tell the difference between buzzed and intoxicated (without a breathalyzer) The hangover reflection I teach my clients to retrain their brain so they can learn from their mistakes (and stop repeating them) Are you ready to change? Book a free 20-minute discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches for an honest conversation about where you are, where you want to be, and what it will actually take to get there. Take the Quiz to find out what type of drinker you are. Because you have to see the pattern before you can break the pattern.

EP346: How to cope with conflict in your relationship without drinking with Karen McMahon

2026/06/09

You've been drinking more lately because of your partner. Their mood is the problem. Their lack of effort. Their inability to have an honest conversation. But if this is their problem, why are you stuck? My interview with high conflict divorce coach Karen McMahon will show you how to take your power back instead of drowning it with alcohol. What you'll learn: Why drinking feels safer than conflict (and what's actually happening in your nervous system) The seven levels of emotional energy and how drinking keeps you on the lower end How to shift your focus from what your partner needs to change to what you need to change Why your boundaries keep getting plowed and what to do about it Three somatic tools you can use mid-conflict to stop reaching for the wine If you're ready to take full responsibility for where you are and where you want to be, the first step is identifying the pattern that's running you. Take the 3-minute quiz to find out which of the four drinker types is driving your pattern and get the Take It or Leave It Roadmap. [Take Quiz Here] Ready to stop figuring this out alone? Book a free discovery call. The call isn't about figuring out what's wrong with you. It's about figuring out what kind of support you actually need. [Book Your Discovery Call] Resources: Karen McMahon: Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast Free Guide: Understanding and Managing Your Emotional Energy journeybeyonddivorce.com

EP345: The KNOW-DO Gap: Why you keep drinking when you know you shouldn't.

2026/06/02

You know you should be drinking less, but you can't follow through. You promise and plan to do something different and then repeat the same mistakes over and over. This episode explains the gap between knowing what you should be doing and actually doing it. And gives you the perspective shift that you need to make to close it. What you'll learn: The two reasons "knowing" doesn't translate to doing Why your "celebration drinking" is often stress drinking in a party dress The perspective shift that turns your dopamine back on What actually has to change before your drinking can change Quiz: Take the free 3-minute quiz to find out why YOU can't just take it or leave it: [Take the quiz here] Ready to stop trying to figure this out alone? Book a free 20-minute discovery call with one of Colleen's certified coaches. You'll leave with clarity about where you are, where you want to be, and what's standing in your way. No pressure, no sales pitch. [Book your Discovery Call here]

Podcast reviews

Read It's Not About the Alcohol podcast reviews

4.9 out of 5

270 reviews

★★★★★

Dirtecuz 2026/10/02

Men Listen Too!

Great Show!

★★★★★

Dblks26 2026/08/05

Workingonit

I love Colleen’s storytelling and her sharing of all of herself, her journey. Her knowledge and delivery really resonates with me…the nervous system p...

★★★★★

Dianedc2016 2026/06/18

Tried the Experiment

I have been in and out of Colleen’s podcast for maybe over a year? And, I keep RETURNING…. She is non-shaming, vulnerable yet no BS … so tonight I tri...

★★★★★

TwinkleDaisyJules 2026/05/06

Learn to take it or leave it!

Colleen has helped me understand my drinking patterns. With her guidance, I'm teaching myself to be happy where I am and to stop avoiding my feelings...

★★★★★

Barry LaBov 2026/02/25

Great

Excellent show and host.

★★★★★

MDUWS 2026/02/18

Genius

Colleen has so much insight on the topic of women and alcohol — wisdom and practical guidance that I have not found anywhere else. She’s smart, real, ...

★★★★★

Sajb2 2026/02/04

Tips are great!

I do all 3 of Colleen’s tips to get your body out of the yellow zone every morning and I find it really helps to lower my cortisol.

★★★★★

ES Member 2026/02/04

Nailed It!

Colleen’s life and alcohol observations are insightful and inspirational. She’s lived through it so her guidance on how to get out of the drinking cy...

★★★★★

Hockey Mark 2025/11/12

A Man’s Perspective

I have found this Podcast extremely helpful even though Colleen’s program is focused on women. She does an occasional “shout out” to the men listenin...

★★★★★

s z keller 2025/08/10

When you feel you’ve done something wrong

This minisode touched me deeply. I never thought that our negative emotions could be our super powers. But when Colleen described how she journaled fo...

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