
Advertise on podcast: The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF
Rating
5from
This podcast has
942 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
GBFExplicit
Yes
Date created
2022/11/18
Latest episode
2026/09/13
Average duration
56 min.
Release period
9 days
Description
Buddhism for Liberation and Social Action. We invite teachers from all schools of Buddhism to offer their perspectives on the dharma and its application in modern times, especially for LGBTQIA audiences.Produced by GBF - The Gay Buddhist Fellowship of San Francisco.
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Check latest episodes from The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF podcast
What We Turn Toward: Reclaiming Our Joy - Tom Moon
2026/09/13
Tom Moon addresses the challenge we face of staying grounded, peaceful, and resilient when our world feels overwhelmed by political turmoil, cruelty, and constant outrage.
How? By inviting us to reframe our spiritual focus: true liberation doesn't come from trying to suppress negative emotions or forcing empty, feel-good affirmations, but from intentionally cultivating what is wholesome. Tom draws on Buddhist history, Mary Oliver's poetry, and his own experience recovering from a stroke to remind us that while evil and suffering are real, our brains are also hardwired with a "negativity bias"—acting like velcro for bad experiences and teflon for good ones.
Additionally, when we fall into "survivor guilt" by believing that experiencing happiness during hard times is selfish or disloyal, we actually drain ourselves of the vitality needed to resist harm and care for others.
Tom offers several key insights and practices to help us counteract this bias and incline our minds toward genuine light and joy:
Reframing Liberation: We learn that we aren't freed simply by turning away from greed, hatred, and delusion, but by actively cultivating wisdom, compassion, and love.Overcoming "Survivor Guilt": We recognize that letting ourselves experience happiness isn't an act of disloyalty to those who suffer, but a vital spiritual duty that preserves our well-being and capacity to serve.Taking in the Good: Guided by Rick Hanson's practice, we learn to linger on positive moments—such as the warmth of loved ones or supportive community—for at least 20 seconds so those feelings can truly register in our nervous system.Directing the Heart: We remember that we become whatever we focus on; by intentionally turning toward kindness, truth, and present-moment awareness, we anchor ourselves in an underlying stillness that outer turmoil cannot destroy.______________
Tom Moon is a native San Franciscan who lives within walking distance of where he was born, with Craig Wenzl, his husband of 21 years. His engagement with Buddhism began in 1995 when he learned Vipassana and Metta meditation from Jack Kornfield. He is a psychotherapist who works primarily with gay men. and his professional commitment is exploring the interface between Buddhist practice and psychotherapy.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
The Mindful Sanctuary: Why We Go on Retreat
2026/09/06
In this reflection on retreat life, four GBF community members explore how taking time away from our relentless routines, news cycles, and digital devices offers a quiet sanctuary to examine our habits and cultivate genuine peace.
Rather than an escape, a retreat serves as a vital "laboratory for daily life"—a container where the cloudy, stirred-up waters of our busy minds can finally settle so we can see the deep substrate beneath. By immersing ourselves in extended silence, noble heart practices, and simple daily rituals, we reconnect with a thousands-year-old lineage and experience the profound benefits of collective practice:
Clearing Sensory Overload: Stepping back from constant stimulation allows our habitual mental chatter to quiet down, revealing clearer insights into how our minds work.Anchoring in Loving-Kindness (Metta): Focusing on simple phrases of goodwill—wishing that all beings be happy, healthy, safe, and free—transforms both sitting and walking meditation into a deep practice of love.Forging Deep, Silent Community: Sharing quiet meals, silent meditation, and heart-centered connection exercises builds an unseen bond of trust and intimacy across the Sangha without the strain of social performance.Transforming Everyday Moments: The clarity and patience we cultivate on retreat directly spill over into our ordinary lives, turning everyday delays—like waiting for the bus or sitting in traffic—into opportunities for mindfulness and generosity.Ultimately, going on retreat gives us a powerful chance to "level up" our practice and return to our daily lives re-energized, softer, and more present. Whether we are chanting ancient Pali verses or engaging in heartfelt group sharing when silence is released, the gifts we receive on retreat naturally ripple out to benefit everyone around us.
With our upcoming Fall Retreat September 25-27, 2026 featuring teacher Prasadachitta, we have a wonderful opportunity to step back into this transformative space, test these teachings in our own lives, and bring the Dharma vividly to life.
SPEAKERS:
Cass BraytonHenry RabinowitzMatthew PerifanoTom Bruein ______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
A Contemporary Eightfold Path for Navigating Hard Times - Donald Rothberg
2026/08/30
Donald Rothberg helps us lean into dharma wisdom to navigate the difficult realities of our world without becoming numb, overwhelmed, or cynical.
We often focus our Buddhist practice solely on personal meditation, but Donald reminds us that true path-walking spans wisdom, meditation, and ethical care for the broader world. Looking back to early Buddhist history and figures like Emperor Ashoka, Donald shows us that spiritual practice has always held a vital social dimension alongside individual awakening. He offers a practical eight-part framework for modern times, guiding us to bring clarity, deep heart, and active care to today's complex landscape.
Donald outlines eight key principles to help us weave our spiritual practice into daily life and social action:
Grounding in Vision: We stay connected to our core vision of wisdom, love, and awakening so we don't lose our direction during challenging times.Connecting Inner and Outer: We unite our personal meditation practice with outward care, integrating self-transformation with active service to others.Applying Wisdom to Society: We recognize how greed, hatred, and delusion operate not just within our own minds, but also as institutionalized forces in the wider world.Practicing with Difficult Emotions: Instead of turning numb to troubling news, we use mindfulness and group connection to process accumulated grief, anger, and fear.Maintaining Joy: We keep contact with wonder, music, and delight, remembering that joy is an inherent part of our being that sustains us through hardship.Grounding in Ethics: We practice non-harming in our personal relationships while taking active steps to address larger harms in our society.Grounding in Community: We cultivate meaningful, in-person connections to support one another and create a beloved community.Listening for Our Calling: We discover our own unique way to respond, focusing on what makes us come alive to meet the needs of the world.______________
Donald Rothberg, Ph.D., is a member of the Teachers Council at Spirit Rock Center, a guiding teacher for the Marin Sangha in San Rafael, California, and a regular teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland, California, Southern Dharma Retreat Center, InsightLA, and New York Insight.
He teaches retreats and groups on concentration and insight meditation practice, lovingkindness practice, transforming the judgmental mind, mindful communication, working skillfully with conflict, and socially engaged Buddhism.
He has practiced insight meditation since 1976, and has also received training in Tibetan Dzogchen, body-based psychotherapy, and trauma work. He has helped guide many six-month to two-year training programs in socially engaged spirituality, both Buddhist-based and interfaith, and is the author of The Engaged Spiritual Life: A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World, and the co-editor of Ken Wilber in Dialogue.
Learn more at https://donaldrothberg.com
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
Trusting the Heart: Finding Faith Beyond Belief - John Martin
2026/08/24
John Martin explores how we can find a steadfast sense of peace and trust when life brings us unexpected pain, uncertainty, and constant change.
John defines Buddhist faith not as blind adherence to dogmas or rigid beliefs, but as pasada—a radical, wholehearted trusting of our own direct experience. He reminds us that true freedom isn't dependent on having perfect health, ideal finances, or flawless circumstances, but on cultivating an inner contentment that cannot be shaken by the ups and downs of the world. Instead of running away from difficult emotions or physical discomfort, we are invited to turn toward our direct experience with mindfulness and self-compassion, discovering that when we stop fighting reality, peace is immediately available right here in the present moment.
John outlines several core practices and insights that illuminate how this deep trust in the heart can transform our daily lives:
Pasada vs. Dogma: Rather than adopting a set of external rules or beliefs, Buddhist faith is the freeing process of letting go of fixed opinions so we can show up fully to whatever is arising right now.Turning Toward Difficulty: By directly meeting challenging emotions like anger or physical pain with bare awareness, we realize they are temporary, conditioned arisings rather than fixed parts of our identity.Releasing Reactivity: Suffering occurs in the friction between what is happening and what we wish were happening; as our mental reactivity drops away, we stop creating the "second arrow" of self-inflicted pain.The Four Manifestations of Faith: Trust naturally unfolds when we step into the fullness of who we are, commit to non-harming and service, gain direct insight into the Four Noble Truths, and lean into the supportive warmth of community.By leaning into this practice together, we can cultivate an unshakable refuge within ourselves and navigate life's inevitable shifts with an open, compassionate heart.
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John Martin teaches Vipassana (Insight), Metta (Loving Kindness) and LGBTQIA+ meditation retreats. He leads an ongoing weekly Monday evening meditation group in San Francisco. He serves as Co-chair of the Guiding Teachers Council for Spirit Rock. His practice has been supported by twelve years as a hospice volunteer, including five years at Shanti Project during the AIDS crisis and seven years with the Zen Hospice project.
Find his upcoming events at: https://calendar.spiritrock.org/event-speaker/john-martin/
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
Relating to the Mettā Sutta on Our Own Terms – Prasadachitta
2026/08/16
This talk is a preview of the GBF Fall Retreat: Our Belonging to Kindness: Awakening to the World We Carry Together, September 25-27, 2026.
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How do we take ancient, highly analytical Buddhist teachings and make them truly land in our everyday, modern lives?
In this warm and deeply personal talk, Prasadachitta helps us imagine what it must have been like to be in the presence of the Buddha, hearing him speak directly to us in language that is easily understood. He invites us to step away from academic perfectionism and instead embrace the Buddha’s “come and see” invitation to experience a colloquial relationship with the Dharma.
Prasadachitta explains that he isn’t concerned with strict historical or translation accuracy. Instead, he feels empowered as a practitioner to make these teachings real in his own life, letting the translated phrases of the Karaniya Metta Sutta shift and be rephrased depending on how they “hit” him, trusting that actual practice will naturally self-correct any misunderstandings. To remind us that the Dharma is built to be accessible, he shares the traditional qualities of teaching from the Dharma Vandana, proving that the truth is always meant to be practical:
Intelligible and Well-Communicated: The Buddha always met people where they were, using everyday language and lived experiences (like those of farmers or kings) so we can actually do something with what is being communicated.Experienced Here and Now: It is a testable path that we can start practicing and verifying in our lives immediately.Perennial: Its core truths are timeless, surviving any historical or cultural change.Open to Investigation (Ehipassiko): It functions as a personal “come and see” invitation rather than a rigid system demanding blind belief.Progressive: It leads us onward, continuously unpacking new layers of wisdom as we engage with it.Individually Verifiable: It is ultimately validated through our own direct experience, turning us into the wise ones who know peace for themselves.With this open-minded, personal approach, Prasadachitta guides us directly into the Karaniya Metta Sutta as a highly practical roadmap for our spiritual growth. Rather than treating its instructions as abstract rules, he encourages us to relate to them through our own physical, lived experiences.
When the sutta asks us to be upright but “flexible,” he illustrates this with a wonderful story about a flight attendant who playfully deputized snack-stealing kids to help her hand out peanuts, transforming a potential moment of conflict into an act of community.To make the sutta’s famous instruction to love “as a mother cherishes her only child” real for himself, he connects it to his own mother’s “rough” but deep, physical hugs that he can still feel in his body today.By bringing our own imagination and personal memories into the practice, we learn to cultivate a fierce, boundless goodwill that moves us from everyday “eminence” to spiritual “transcendence”.Ultimately, Prasadachitta promises that as we rest in this unlimited kindness, we naturally let go of our rigid views, become spontaneously ethical, and experience a quiet, complete sense of freedom.
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Prasadachitta was ordained into the Triratna Buddhist Order in 2011 and he became the Chair of the San Francisco Buddhist Center in April 2022. He was born on a “back to the land” commune in rural Northern California and that background has inspired his engagement with others in building the SFBC’s rural meditation center called Dharmadhara. He also helped to establish a community of sangha members who support the retreats there. He supports himself as a documentary filmmaker and photographer but his real life’s work is training others who want to practice Buddhism within the Triratna Buddhist Community.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
The Gifts of Imperfection: Finding Faith in Uncertainty - Eli Talen
2026/08/09
Eli Talen invites us to examine our endless pursuit of perfection and the exhausting habit of waiting until everything is organized before we allow ourselves to start living.
We can easily get caught wishing for ideal conditions—whether waiting for smooth traffic, perfect relationships, or orderly cupboards—rather than meeting the messy reality of the present moment. Recalling a phrase from Emily Dickinson, that we "believe and disbelieve a hundred times an hour," Eli explains that this constant back-and-forth doesn't mean we are failing; rather, it keeps our minds flexible and serves as a living, nimble form of faith in an unpredictable world.
To help us step out of the trap of postponing our lives until things are flawless, Eli shares several practical insights for navigating uncertainty with greater heart:
The Buddha’s Earth-Touching Courage: Meeting uncertainty with the humble honesty of the Buddha facing Mara under the Bodhi tree, adopting the spirit of "I don't know how to do this thing called life, and I'm going to do it anyway".Shifting from Separation to Connection: Moving away from a tight, defensive mindset ("this happened to you") toward a shared, relational heart ("we're in this together"), much like Eli experienced while walking among the fire-scarred trees at Point Reyes.Relational Mindfulness: Bringing our attention inward when triggered by others—investigating what hurts in us rather than reacting—and gently acknowledging our underlying sadness or fear.Resting in the Breath: Using the simple process of breathing, as highlighted by teacher Ajahn Sucitto, to feel held and anchored whenever our minds feel chaotic.Practicing Wise Discernment: Remembering that mindfulness is not about forcing ourselves to endure harmful situations, but exercising discernment to make compassionate choices for ourselves.______________
Eli Talen has practiced insight meditation for a couple of decades and has taught meditation in prisons and free communities for the past ten. Mindfulness is for him an innate awakening to the present and a refuge from fear and self-centeredness. He is inspired to engage with others who are open to building faith in the here and now and are oriented toward an ethical care and intimacy with the world. He lives in Berkeley, California, works as a psychotherapist, plays the organ. In prior lives he also served as an attorney and professor of German literature.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
The Sacred Dance of Joy: Practicing Mudita in Daily Life - JD Doyle
2026/08/02
How can we remember that we were created for joy when our minds are busy and our hearts feel weighed down by the world's troubles?
In this uplifting talk, JD Doyle invites us to explore mudita—traditionally translated as appreciative, altruistic, or relational joy—as one of the four essential heart practices (brahma viharas) in Buddhism.
Opening with the Persian poet Hafez's poem The Sacred Dance for Life, JD reminds us that joy is not a performance or something we must force, but an inherent capacity of the heart waiting to be uncovered when we step out of our habitual anxiety. Drawing on Thich Nhat Hanh's insight that happiness has the nature of "interbeing," JD emphasizes that mudita is fundamentally relational—shifting us away from the narrow, individualistic "what's in it for me?" mindset and inviting us to take genuine delight in the well-being of others and the world around us.
To help us navigate the mental habits that block this natural warmth, JD breaks down the traditional frameworks and practical obstacles we encounter on the path to joy:
The Measuring Mind: How our constant comparing, ranking, and obsessing over what we lack creates fear and closes the heart to present-moment delight.The Near Enemy (Exuberance & Frivolity): How bubbling excitement can tip us forward into overconsumption, or how frivolity—as Norman Fischer describes—acts as a superficial attempt to cover up life's inevitable sorrows rather than savoring beauty amidst hardship.The Far Enemy (Jealousy & Resentment): How envy creates a painful sense of separation, which JD illustrates through a personal story of overcoming resentment when a colleague received a job promotion JD had expected."Messy Joy" & Entanglement: Citing "The Book of Delights" by poet Ross Gay, JD highlights that real joy is not separate from heartbreak, but emerges from how we care for one another through suffering—a resilience deeply familiar to the queer community.Cultivating a "Delight Radar": Practicing gratitude for simple "non-problems" (like a headache-free day or a working toilet) trains our attention so that, as Ross Gay noted, the more we study delight, the more delight there is to study.______________
JD Doyle serves as a core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) and has served as a board member and was the cofounder of the LGBTQI meditation group. JD is a graduate of the Spirit Rock Meditation Center teacher-training program and was in the Dedicated Practitioner Program (DPP2) and the Community Dharma Leader Program (CDL4). JD has practiced Buddhism since 1995 in the U.S., Thailand, and Burma.
For over twenty-five years, they worked as a public school teacher focusing on issues of equity and access. JD holds a bachelor’s degree in Environmental Studies from Cornell University and a master’s degree in Language and Literacy and Sociocultural Studies from the University of New Mexico. JD identifies as gender non-conforming. They are committed to celebrating the diversity of our human sangha, addressing the impact of racism on our communities, expanding concepts of gender, and living in ways that honor the sacredness of the Earth.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
The Power of Words: Practicing Right Speech in Daily Life - Laura Burges
2026/07/26
Ryuko Laura Burges invites us to consider how our words shape our reality and whether they serve as a force for division or healing in a troubled world.
Laura demonstrates the profound weight our speech carries, by drawing on a tender story about giving her hundred-year-old mother permission to let go, as well as an ancient tale of the Sufi weaver-poet Kabir whose gentle prayers calmed a sick child while his sharp words exposed a priest's rage.
She frames Right Speech—one of the foundational spokes of the Noble Eightfold Path—not as a set of rigid restrictions, but as an encouraging mental guide to ease suffering for ourselves and others. Laura shows us how mindful communication is woven through all ten traditional Buddhist precepts, warning against the subtle ways we can "kill" someone's enthusiasm with harshness, "steal" time through repetitive complaining, or use slander to elevate ourselves above others.
To help us navigate our everyday conversations with greater integrity and compassion, Laura offers a clear roadmap for reflection before we speak. She encourages us to pause and examine our inner motivations, highlighting several key practices for bringing our speech into harmony:
The Four Filters of Speech: Pausing to ask ourselves whether what we are about to say is timely, true, helpful, and kind—noting with a smile that by the time we ask all four questions, it might be too late to say anything, which is often for the best!The Loving Inner Witness: Extending Right Speech inward by replacing our harsh, judgmental inner narrative with the voice of a supportive friend who guides us with tenderness.Guarding Our Thoughts: Remembering the ancient teaching from the Dhammapada that thought manifests as the word, the word as the deed, the deed into habit, and habit into character.By cultivating a mindful pause through meditation, Laura reminds us that we can catch our habitual reactions and choose words that foster connection, ease ragged hearts, and bring genuine peace.
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Ryuko Laura Burges is a lay entrusted dharma teacher in the Soto Zen tradition, teaching and leading retreats in Northern California. A longtime educator, she co-founded the Meditation in Recovery programs at San Francisco Zen Center.
Her books include Wisdom Stories of Tibet (2025), the first volume in a three-part series that will also feature wisdom stories from India and Japan, The Zen Way of Recovery: An Illuminated Path Out of the Darkness of Addiction (2023), Zen for Kids (2023), and Buddhist Stories for Kids (2022)
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
Becoming Ordinary: The Five Ranks of Zen Service - Roshi David Blackwell (Jōkai)
2026/07/19
Despite the world around us constantly changing, we can remain grounded in the timeless stillness beneath it all.
Roshi David Blackwell walks us through what happens when we transition from years of formal spiritual training back into the texture of ordinary daily life. Reflecting on his own journey after stepping down from a Zen training center, David introduces us to an ancient Tang Dynasty framework known as the "Five Ranks of Merit" or "distinguished service". Rather than focusing solely on mystical realization, David shows us how this time-honored system offers a practical, compassionate roadmap for leading an upright, supportive, and useful life in service of those around us.
As David breaks down these five stages, we get to see how our spiritual journey naturally matures from initial curiosity to ultimate simplicity:
The Shift: The initial turning of our heart toward practice when we feel a deep need to explore what is most real and important.Submission: Radically accepting reality exactly as it is, letting go of our rigid, narrow ideas of self to align with life as it unfolds.Achievement: The stage where dedicated practice ripens into genuine insight, wisdom, and an understanding of non-duality.Collective Achievement: Expanding our perspective so realization is no longer a private trophy, asking instead how we can help sustain our sangha and serve others.Absolute Achievement: Shedding even the conceptual trappings of "enlightenment" to simply return to being our ordinary selves—truly at home in our own skin.______________
Roshi David is a Soto Zen teacher in the White Plum lineage. He received Dharma Transmission and the lineage name Tenryū Jōkai (天龍浄海) from Charles Tenshin Fletcher Roshi in 2014, and Inka — final seal of approval and independence — in 2022.
Originally from Wales, Roshi David moved to Southern California in 2000 to train full time. His teaching is grounded in traditional Zen forms and woven into the texture of ordinary life. He emphasizes the direct experience of awakening using contemporary language and time-honored methods.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
Remagining Buddhist Pride - Trip Weil
2026/06/28
In this talk from Pride weekend, Trip Weil explores how we can find a true, universal sense of freedom in our lives if we allow the dharma to reveal and heal painful aspects of shame we may be carrying.
Trip invites us to join him in "reimagining" what Pride and liberation can mean over the course of a lifetime. Journeying back to his very first Pride parade in San Francisco in 1985, Trip shares his own early struggles with internalized homophobia, vulnerable self-worth, and a defensive relationship with the world.
He beautifully pairs these personal memories with a classic non-dual quote from Indian guru Nisargadatta Maharaj: "Mind creates the abyss, love crosses it". Through this lens, we are invited to explore how our minds build walls of separation and clinging, while our hearts hold the power to bridge those gaps and bring us home to ourselves.
To show us how this plays out, Trip guides us through the touching story of Kisa Gotami, a mother driven to temporary madness by the sudden death of her young son. When she begs the Buddha for a cure, he gently sends her on a quest to gather a mustard seed—but only from a household that has never experienced death. As she knocks on doors, she realizes that loss is a universal human thread, an insight into impermanence that brings her immediate, immense relief. Trip maps this ancient parable directly onto our modern queer journey, sharing several key lessons we can take to heart:
The Illusion of the Outside Fix: Just like the death-free mustard seed, the idea that an external cure will "fix" or "straighten us out" is a mirage; true healing begins when we stop trying to fix ourselves and instead accept who we are.The Medicine of Community (Sangha): Gotami's sanity returned when she realized she wasn't alone in her grief. Similarly, stepping into a vibrant, visible community shows us that our struggles are shared, reminding us that we are not crazy or isolated.Releasing Rigid Identities: When we cling too tightly to a single identity—such as a grieving mother or a defensive ego—we obscure the vast, beautiful reality of who we actually are.Pride as Love Crossing the Abyss: Ultimately, Trip redefines Pride not as an ego-driven comparison, but as a deep sense of honor in our shared journey and a celebration of love crossing the mental divides of separation.______________
Trip Weil has been practicing in the Theravadan tradition since 2004. He is a graduate of Spirit Rock’s Community Dharma Leader and Dedicated Practitioner programs. He is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Francisco and a former attorney.
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
How We Can Stop Judging and Start Living - Daigan Gaither
2026/06/21
We become disconnected from our actual lives when we’re constantly trapped in a cycle of judging every feeling we have.
Here Daigan Gaither invites us to look at how we often dismiss our own pain by comparing it to "first-world problems" or the greater struggles of others. He shares his own journey with a "neurospicy" brain and rejection sensitivity, explaining that when we tell ourselves our feelings "aren't real" just because they have a biological cause or aren't "logical," we’re actually distancing ourselves from our lived experience. Daigan reminds us that if we feel it, it is real, and our practice is about learning to "experience the experience" while we’re actually in it, rather than getting lost in exhausting layers of thoughts about our feelings.
To help us move closer to the front of that mental "train," Daigan offers several key insights into how we can soften our self-judgment and live more authentically:
Kusala and Akusala: We can look at our thoughts and actions through the lens of whether they lead us toward liberation or away from it.The Healing Power of Noticing: Just as a physical wound heals when we stop picking at it, our emotional wounds can begin to pass when we simply notice them without trying to weigh or force them into something we think we "know"."What Else is There?": Instead of making our entire lives about one feeling of rejection or pain, we can practice asking what else is present in the moment—like the air on our skin or the sounds around us—allowing us to be a whole person having a whole experience.Fluidity of Self: By understanding that "no-self" means we are constantly changing, we can stop trying to hold onto a version of ourselves that no longer exists and instead break up the "concrete" of fixed views that keep us stuck.Ultimately, he encourages us to stop using our practice as a way to increase judgment on ourselves and instead simply allow ourselves to "have a day," trusting that each moment is a new chance to connect with reality.
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Rev. Daigan Gaither (he/him) began Buddhist practice in 1995 in the Vipassana (Insight) tradition, then began studying Zen in 2003. He received Lay Ordination in 2006 where he was given the name Daigan or “Great Vow,” and received Priest Ordination in July 2011.
Daigan speaks internationally on a variety of topics particularly around gender, sexuality, social justice, and their intersections with the Dharma. He also sits or has sat on a number of boards and committees that serve community needs and further social justice causes.
Daigan has a BA in Philosophy and Religion from San Francisco State University, and an MA in Buddhist Studies (with a chaplaincy certificate and a certificate in Soto Zen Buddhism) from the Graduate Theological Union and the Institute of Buddhist Studies. He lives in San Francisco, CA and identifies as a disabled, queer, white, cis male. Learn more at https://queerdharma.net
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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
Finding Our Universal Flow - Bill Weber
2026/06/07
Can we move beyond that small, tight sense of feeling separate and truly experience ourselves as part of the vast, magical universe?
In this heart-opening talk, Bill Weber shares how a powerful Qigong practice called the "Six Verses" helped him dissolve the "tightness" he carried for years, particularly the isolation often felt by gay men.
He reminds us that while we often feel solid and separate, we are actually 99.99% empty space—and if we crushed the entire human species down to pure matter, we’d fit inside a single sugar cube! By shifting our perspective from being isolated individuals to "cosmic chemistry" made of stardust, we can learn to navigate the irritations of daily life with a much greater sense of spaciousness and ease.
Bill Weber walks us through the Six Verses, a short meditation that encapsulates a path toward freedom and joy:
Internal Awareness: We start by going inside our bodies to find the emptiness and spaciousness within, letting any tension melt away.Universal Expansion: We then expand our awareness outward, moving from the room to the city and finally becoming one with the limitless universe.Returning with Peace: We draw that awareness back into our bodies, bringing a sense of calm and peacefulness with us.Reverence (Gongjing): We open back up to the universe with a sense of "utmost gongjing"—a deep, humble respect for being part of the whole.Nurturing the Heart: We allow the bright universe to fill our hearts with unconditional love and compassion, which Bill describes as a richness unlike any love we've known.Harmonious Flow: We conclude by feeling relaxed and free, allowing our "Qi" (energy) to flow smoothly and joyfully through our entire being.By practicing these verses, we can begin to see that we aren't just walking in nature; we are nature, and the boundaries between us and the world around us are just an illusion.
______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
The Practice of Unselfish Joy - Melvin Escobar
2026/05/31
Melvin Escobar helps us discover how we can tap into a source of happiness that doesn't depend on our personal wins, but actually grows the more others succeed.
Here he explores the concept of mudita—often translated as unselfish or appreciative joy. He dives into how this practice, one of the four "divine abodes" or Brahma-viharas, helps us break out of the Western individualistic trap and realize that our happiness is deeply interconnected with everyone else's.
Melvin reminds us that even when we feel stuck in aversion or judge ourselves for "not doing it right," those very feelings are actually the path to joy; by noticing what we are reflexively pushing away, we create the space for a more authentic, humanized connection to the world around us.
He guides us through several ways we can cultivate this "immeasurable" joy in our daily lives, moving beyond the idea of it being a separate, lofty goal:
The Path of Purification: We learn that mudita is often found right in the middle of our aversion. Instead of fighting our negative thoughts, we can see them simply as "sensations" and use that awareness to melt the "stone" of indifference.Integrating Our Life Stages: We reflect on how our capacity for joy evolves from the "bundle of joy" we were as infants, through the traumas of adolescence, and into a more "distilled" version of ourselves as we age and learn to laugh at our own forgetfulness.Sati (Remembering): We practice the intention of "remembering" our Buddha nature and the path, realizing that once we’ve seen the truth of interdependence, we can never truly "unsee" it.The "Buddha Smile": We are invited to try a physical practice—the slight upward turn of the lips—that helps us stay present and serious about our spiritual work without losing our sense of lightness.Service as Joy: We see that humanizing each other is an act of joy, and through service, the separation between "who is serving who" begins to dissolve.By practicing mudita, we find the "safety valve" that allows us to experience the world's beauty and suffering without crumbling under the weight of it all.
______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
Shakespeare Dharma: Two Refuges - Matthew Perifano
2026/05/24
In this moving and lyrical talk, Matthew Perifano shares how he found a sense of true refuge when facing deep grief and the uncertainty of life.
Matthew shares how he began weaving together the wisdom of the Dharma with the timeless plays and sonnets of William Shakespeare. He describes how his relationship with these texts evolved from a daunting college requirement into a vital mind-body practice that eventually helped him navigate the devastating losses of the AIDS epidemic. He suggests that when we lend our own voices and bodies to these words, we can discover that we are never alone in our suffering, finding a profound sense of compassion—or karuna—that transcends time and space.
Matthew illustrates how the insights of the Buddha are often hiding in plain sight within the Bard's greatest works, offering we several "Shakespeare Dharma" keys to unlock our own understanding of reality:
Finding Refuge in Grief: He explains how Sonnet 30 helped him move through personal loss by revealing that our "precious friends hid in death’s dateless night" connect us to a universal experience of suffering, turning art into a path through pain rather than just an escape from it.Presence in the Ordinary: Drawing from his own "transcendent experience" while washing dishes and the poetry of Layman Pang, he reminds we that spiritual activity is found in the most basic daily affairs, like drawing water or carrying wood.The Trap of Papancha: He uses the jealous rants of King Leantes from The Winter's Tale to demonstrate papancha, or mental proliferation—the tendency of our minds to spin "nothing" into a suffocating storm of obsessive, illusory thoughts.Life as a Dream: He concludes with Prospero’s famous speech from The Tempest, which he calls "Shakespeare’s Diamond Sutra," to help we contemplate how all conditioned things are essentially "such stuff as dreams are made on". ______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
The Path to Freedom in an Ever-Changing World - Walt Opie
2026/05/17
The Path to Freedom in an Ever-Changing World
How can we find lasting peace when everything in our lives—from our favorite shops to our own bodies—is constantly changing? In this talk, Walt Opie explores impermanence, the "bedrock" of Buddhist teaching, showing us how our suffering often comes from fighting a reality we cannot change. He explains that our brains are hardwired to look for "signs"—characteristic marks that help us recognize things—which trick us into believing life is more permanent than it really is. Through poetry and the wisdom of teachers like Ajahn Chah, Walt illustrates that when we accept "the glass is already broken," we create a "safety valve" for our hearts that prevents them from bursting when life shifts.
Walt offers several concepts to help us wake up from the "dream state" of daily life:
Equanimity: Being in harmony with the way things are instead of fighting reality.Signlessness: Intentionally ignoring the "signs" or labels we usually construct from our senses, which helps us stay focused during meditation.Bare Awareness: Training ourselves so that in the seen there is "just the seen" and in the heard "just the heard," stripping away the mental layers that cause us stress.The Present Moment as a Gate: Using the image of a simple sandwich to remind us that liberation is found by fully showing up for whatever is happening right now.By following his lead, we can learn to be "neither here nor there," allowing the world to catch our hearts off guard and blow them wide open.
______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:
Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995CREDITS
Audio Production: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter
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