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Shanti was widowed in her twenties. By the time she was ready to build a family she was 44 — and the path forward looked very different from what she had imagined. In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa sits down with Shanti to talk through her journey from grief and uncertainty to becoming a first time mother at 52 through donor eggs and a surrogate. This is one of the most honest and grounded conversations about third party reproduction you will find anywhere. What you will learn in this episode: How being widowed young affected Shanti's family building timeline and how she eventually found her path Why donor eggs became the right choice at 44 and what that decision felt like emotionally What she learned after a difficult first donor cycle that resulted in no embryos How she researched donors more carefully the second time — including AMH, genetics and previous outcomes How she balanced practical criteria with a personal sense of connection when choosing a donor How her feelings about surrogacy evolved and what she considered when choosing a surrogate The legal protections, communication expectations and birth preferences she thought through carefully How she created meaning for her future child through a hibiscus flower, a life book and personal details What she wants to say to anyone who feels stuck or wonders if it is too late If you are facing donor conception, surrogacy or wondering whether your family building path is still possible — Shanti's story will give you something real to hold onto. Resources: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz Lisa is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast. Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity. #donoreggs #surrogacy #familybuilding #reproductivetherapist #fertilityafter40 #eggdonation #gestationalcarrier #donorconception #firsttimemom #familybuildingjourney #ivf #fertilityjourney #motherhoodlater #intendedparents #youarenotalone

What does it actually take to build a family through surrogacy as a gay couple, from choosing an egg donor to navigating failed transfers, COVID era matching, and doing it all twice? In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa sits down with Alexander Paykin to talk through every stage of the surrogacy journey he and his husband Ricky took to become fathers of two children. This is one of the most honest and practical conversations about gay surrogacy you will find anywhere. What you will learn in this episode: How Alexander and Ricky got on the same page about timing when one was ready and one was not How they chose their egg donor from a smaller pool and what made her feel like the right match Why they were surprised to learn the surrogate matching process was completely separate from embryo creation What COVID did to their timeline and how early interviews happened by phone and Zoom The difference between their first surrogate Ashley who became like a sister and later surrogate experiences Why repeated failed transfers and matching setbacks did not stop them How family reactions changed once the babies arrived If you are a gay couple considering surrogacy, or anyone navigating this path, Alexander's story will give you something real to hold onto. Resources: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast. Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.

Donor sperm can cost over a thousand dollars a vial. Sometimes over two thousand. And most people start spending that money before they have asked the most important questions. In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa sits down with Dr. Elizabeth Ginsburg, past president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive medicine at Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women's Hospital, to walk through everything you need to know before starting donor insemination. This episode is especially valuable for single women, lesbian couples and clinicians who want a clearer framework for donor selection, fertility workup and when to move from IUI to IVF. What you will learn in this episode: Considering carrier screening before choosing a donor so you do not miss a shared recessive mutation Why psychological screening matters for single women, lesbian couples and known donors What a known donor agreement actually needs to cover and why a legal agreement is essential What fertility testing should happen before you spend thousands on sperm What AMH does and does not tell you about your chances with donor insemination When to consider moving from IUI to IVF and how cost and geography affect that decision Why donor inventory matters if you want a second child with the same donor What clinicians should be discussing proactively that most patients never hear If you are using donor sperm to build your family, or thinking about it, this episode will give you a framework you will not find anywhere else. Resources: Article: https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(26)00565-0/abstract Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast. Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity.

How many times would you try before you gave up? Kristin Duncan already knew what it took to become a single mother by choice. Her son Blake was conceived with donor sperm. But trying for her second child brought a whole new level of heartbreak, repeated IVF rounds with her own eggs, ovarian PRP, multiple clinic changes, a backup donor who fell through, and a journey that tested everything she had. In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Kristin sits down with Lisa to share the full story of how she finally conceived her daughter Brianna using both donor sperm and donor eggs, including how she found her donor through Instagram, why she preferred a known donor over a bank donor, and what it actually felt like to keep going when everything kept failing. What you will learn in this episode: What it is really like to pursue IVF with low ovarian reserve and endometriosis as a single mom How Kristin navigated multiple clinic changes, ovarian PRP and round after round of unsuccessful transfers The emotional toll of parenting one child while desperately trying to give him a sibling Why her first backup donor did not work out and how devastating that was How she found her egg donor through Instagram  Why she preferred a known donor and what that relationship looks like The mental shift from repeated disappointment to trusting that this child was the one she was meant to have What she wants every single mother by choice to know about fertility testing and planning ahead This is one of the most honest and moving conversations about persistence, donor eggs and single motherhood you will hear. Resources: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast. Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity. Guest Resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mysmbclife/

If you or someone you love has been told there is no sperm, this episode is for you. In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa talks with Dr. Eric Forman of Columbia University Fertility Center about STAR, Sperm Tracking and Recovery, an AI powered system that can find ultra rare sperm that human embryologists may miss entirely. What you will learn in this episode: What STAR is and how it works — scanning millions of images in under two hours to find sperm hidden among debris and other cells The difference between obstructive and non-obstructive azoospermia and why it matters for your treatment path What STAR can and cannot do — it finds sperm that are nearly impossible to see, but it does not create sperm or improve sperm quality How STAR works alongside surgery, IVF and ICSI rather than replacing them The Klinefelter syndrome case where STAR helped find sperm after surgery and led to a healthy birth Why a reproductive urology consultation still matters even when your clinic is focused on IVF What causes sperm problems — testosterone use, anatomical issues, genetic conditions and more How available STAR is today and how to access it This is one of the most important conversations about male infertility and what is now possible for men who have been told they have no sperm. Free Resources: Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz Lisa Schuman LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast. Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity. Episode Resources: Time article: https://time.com/collections/best-inventions-2025/7318439/columbia-university-star-method/ Website: https://www.columbiadoctors.org/specialties/obstetrics-gynecology/our-services/columbia-university-fertility-center/our-services/sperm-tracking-and-recovery-star

Your donor conceived child almost certainly has donor siblings. That is not a maybe — it is one of the realities of donor conception that every family needs to understand. In this episode Lisa Schuman, LCSW covers the three realities of donor siblings, what the research actually shows about donor conceived children and sibling relationships, why families connect with sibling pods and what they are looking for, how these relationships evolve over time, and how to use the Zoom Out framework to make this decision with clarity rather than panic. Whether you are just starting to think about this or you are already navigating a pod — this episode will help you think it through. Resources mentioned in this episode: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: https://familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz/ Privacy vs Secrecy episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg1sLYzkvWo&t=239s

When Dana and Ben received a diagnosis of zero sperm count they had no idea what came next. Donor sperm? Adoption? And how do you make that decision together as a couple when everything feels impossible? In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa Schuman LCSW sits down with Dana and Ben to talk about their journey through male infertility. They cover the diagnosis, the emotions, the decision to use donor sperm, the process of choosing a donor, and what it has been like to build their family and share their story with their children and the people around them. What you will learn in this episode: What it actually feels like to receive a zero sperm count diagnosis as a couple, how Dana and Ben navigated the decision to use donor sperm, how they chose their donor and what that process was really like. They also talk about how open communication and humor helped them get through the hardest moments, how they prepared to share their story with their children from the very beginning and what they want other couples navigating male infertility to know. This is one of the most honest and generous conversations about male infertility and donor conception you will hear. It is one that could change everything for someone navigating this right now. Resources: Building Your Family Community: familybuilding.net Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net/welcome-quiz

Could you have PMOS and not know it? For many women the answer is yes, and the wait for a proper diagnosis can take up to ten years. In this episode of the Building Your Family podcast, Lisa Schuman, LCSW talks with Dr. Elizabeth Gardner about PMOS, formerly known as PCOS, a complex hormonal disorder that affects millions of women and goes far beyond fertility. What you will learn in this episode: What PMOS actually is, and why it starts as a communication problem in the brain Why diagnosis can take up to ten years and what to do if you suspect you have it The biggest misconceptions about PMOS that are still causing harm The role of genetics and environment in PMOS. Also discussed are serious health risks beyond fertility, including uterine cancer and metabolic issues, current treatment options and what is on the horizon including KIS peptin How to advocate for yourself with your doctor and get the individualized care you deserve. Whether you have been diagnosed with PMOS or PCOS, are struggling with irregular cycles, or are navigating fertility treatment, this episode will give you information and tools you can use immediately. Take the free quiz: familybuilding.net Lisa Schuman, LCSW is the founder of The Center for Family Building, author of Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception, and host of the Building Your Family podcast. Your feelings deserve attention. And your decisions deserve clarity. #PMOS #PCOS #fertility #womenshealth #reproductivehealth #hormonalhealth #reproductivetherapist #ivf #fertilityjourney #endocrinology #donorconception #buildingafamily

Talking to your child about donor conception can feel terrifying. What do you say? When do you say it? And how do you do it without creating shame or confusion? In this episode, reproductive therapist Lisa Schuman, LCSW, shares her Zoom Out Theory for talking to donor‑conceived children about their story. Instead of getting stuck in today’s anxiety, Lisa helps you think about your child’s long‑term emotional health and sense of self. You’ll learn how to acknowledge your own feelings, and start (or continue) the conversation in a way that builds connection rather than fear. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why talking to your donor‑conceived child can feel so stressful and lonely What it means to “zoom out” and think about who your child is becoming over time How to balance your emotions with what your child actually needs to hear Why “waiting until they’re older” often makes conversations harder, not easier Practical steps to move from feeling stuck to feeling clearer and more confident Episode Resources: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/

If you’re doing IVF or thinking about it, will more technology in the lab actually be better than a human embryologist handling your eggs and embryos – and what do two new breakthroughs mean for your chances? In this episode of Building Your Family, I’m joined by Dr Richard Paulson, former president of ASRM and early IVF pioneer, to unpack what’s really happening behind the lab door: automation, AI, robotics, and why the lab may matter more than almost anything else for your IVF success rates and safety. We cover: How IVF labs have evolved since the 1980s and why embryology is so sensitive Where technology, AI and automation are already helping embryologists A new system that finds extra oocytes humans miss in follicular fluid What “automated day‑0” actually means and why it could be a turning point How these advances might change success rates, safety and standardization 2–3 smart questions to ask your clinic about their lab and technology What an IVF lab could look like 10–15 years from now Whether you’re in the middle of IVF or just starting to research fertility treatment, this episode is designed to translate complex lab science into clear, humane decisions about your reproductive health and reproductive freedom. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to IVF and Technological Advances 02:15 Historical Context of IVF 04:50 The Role of the Laboratory in IVF 07:21 Automation and Future of IVF 10:55 Recent Advances in IVF Technology 20:04 Finding More Oocytes in Follicular Fluid 25:47 Implications for Success Rates in IVF 26:16 Practical Applications for Patients 31:27 Safety and Reliability in IVF Technology 33:36 Conclusion and Future Outlook Subscribe to Building Your Family for more expert‑led conversations that turn IVF science into real‑world guidance you can actually use. Episode resources School USC: https://keck.usc.edu/faculty-search/richard-j-paulson/ Medicine USC: https://www.keckmedicine.org/provider/richard-j-paulson/ F&S Reports: https://www.fertstertreports.org/

If you’re considering donor conception and feel like you “can’t see the forest for the trees,” this is your zoom‑out episode. Before you choose a donor, sign with a clinic, or pay an agency, you need the big picture. In this video, we step back from the overwhelm and walk through the full donor conception landscape: • How your decisions affect your child long‑term (identity, mental health, relationships) • Common mistakes parents make when they’re rushed, exhausted, or only hearing the clinic’s side • How to think about psychological screening My goal with this episode is simple: to help you feel calmer, clearer, and better equipped to lead your family through donor conception without feeling lost or alone. If you found this helpful, you might also like my workshops on • How to tell your child their donor conception story: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/ • Donor Conception 101 for new and future parents: https://familybuilding.net/events-page/ #donorconception #ivf #eggdonor #spermdonor #lgbtqfamily  #familybuilding

Are your tampons quietly exposing you to toxic metals and chemicals that could affect your hormones and fertility? In this episode of Building Your Family, Dr. Nancy Reame breaks down what the FDA has (and hasn’t) done on tampon safety since 2005 and how that compares to Europe. We cover the real story behind tampon safety, Toxic Shock Syndrome, and what the science actually says about toxins in period products. You’ll learn how chemicals are absorbed through the vagina, what we know about toxic metals like lead and cadmium in tampons, and how all of this may impact menstrual health and fertility. Dr. Reame explains:     The history of tampon safety and how Toxic Shock Syndrome changed regulations     Why US tampon regulations haven’t been updated since 2005, and how Europe handles toxic materials differently     How and why the vagina is so absorbent, and what that means for chemical exposure     What current research suggests about toxic metals and endocrine-disrupting chemicals in period products     The real risks of long-term exposure vs what’s been overhyped     Pros and cons of alternatives like menstrual cups and pads (including how to use them safely)     How to read labels, evaluate brands, and find reliable, science-based resources     How to stay appropriately concerned without spiraling into panic We also talk about advocacy: how to push for better testing, transparency in ingredients, and stronger public health guidance for women’s health products. If you care about menstrual health, fertility, and safer period products, hit subscribe, share this episode with a friend, and check the links in the description for the research and resources mentioned. PubMed: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32382713/ Consumer reports: https://www.consumerreports.org/ Made Safe: https://madesafe.org/ Mamavation: https://mamavation.com/   #tamponsafety #toxicshocksyndrome #periodproducts #womenshealth #menstrualhealth #fertility #toxins #endocrinedisruptors #reproductivehealth #periodtalk  #buildingyourfamilypodcast

Your clinic and agency help you with the medical and legal parts of surrogacy. But who helps you zoom out and see the bigger picture for you, your surrogate, and your future child? In this Zoom Out Theory episode, reproductive therapist Lisa Schuman, LCSW, talks about how to step back from the day‑to‑day stress of surrogacy so you can make clearer decisions and set your journey up for long‑term success. We explore how most surrogates are caring, altruistic people, how to build a healthy relationship and communication rhythm with your surrogate, and how to keep your future child in mind without getting overwhelmed. In this episode, you’ll learn: What the Zoom Out Theory is and how it applies to surrogacy How emotions and stress can quietly shape decisions during your journey Keys to the most helpful communication strategy with your surrogate Why regular check‑ins and clear expectations matter over time How to think about the long‑term impact on your relationships and your future child Why documenting your surrogacy experience can support your child later How to balance emotional awareness with rational clarity when you’re making big choices If you’re using surrogacy to build your family and want a calmer, more thoughtful journey, this episode will give you tools to zoom out and see the whole picture. #surrogacy #familybuilding #donorconception

“No normal embryos” doesn’t always mean the end. Lisa talks with Dr. Norbert Gleicher and Dr. David Barad from the Center for Human Reproduction about IVF for tough cases, especially older patients. They discuss PGTA, aneuploid and mosaic embryos, immunology, inflammation, and why individualized, evidence‑based treatment can open options many patients don’t realize they have. Have you been told you have “no normal embryos” and feel like you’re out of options? In this episode of the Building Your Family Podcast, Lisa talks with Dr. Norbert Gleicher and Dr. David Barad from the Center for Human Reproduction about IVF for some of the toughest cases: older patients, “no normal embryos,” and cycles where many people are told there’s nothing else to try. They discuss why careful diagnosis and truly individualized treatment matter so much, especially for older patients; how they think about embryos other clinics might not consider; and what current evidence actually shows about PGTA, aneuploid and mosaic embryos, and implantation. They also explore the role of immunology, inflammation, toxins like microplastics, supplements, and AI in embryo selection. In this conversation, you’ll hear about:     What “no normal embryos” really means (and what it doesn’t)     Why one‑size‑fits‑all IVF protocols often fail older patients     The controversy around PGTA and how it affects real‑world outcomes     When aneuploid and mosaic embryos may still be part of a thoughtful plan     How immunology, inflammation, and sensitivities can impact implantation     Personalized ovulation induction for older patients     Why evidence‑based, individualized care matters more than trends or hype If you’ve been told there are no options left, this episode can help you ask better questions and understand what might still be possible for your family. Subscribe to the Building Your Family Podcast for more evidence‑based conversations on fertility, donor conception, and surrogacy. Episode resources Website: https://centerforhumanreprod.com/

In this first episode of the Zoom Out series, reproductive therapist, researcher, and author Lisa Schuman, LCSW unpacks the most important question almost no one asks about egg freezing. Lisa explains why “How many eggs can I freeze?” is only part of the story, and why you also need to understand how many cycles and eggs you’re likely to need for the kind of family you actually want in the future. She introduces her Zoom Out Theory – a simple framework to help you step back from panic, manage stress, and make clearer decisions about your fertility. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and research, Lisa also shares surprising data about non‑genetic parenthood options: how many egg freezing patients are open to donor eggs, embryos, or other paths if needed, and why that matters for how aggressively you pursue more cycles now. You’ll learn: The critical egg freezing question almost no one thinks to ask Why freezing “as many eggs as possible” isn’t always necessary – or helpful How your emotional state can quietly distort your fertility decisions What Lisa’s research reveals about patients’ real openness to non‑genetic options A practical way to zoom out and plan for your long‑term family, not just the next cycle If you’re considering egg freezing – or you’ve already frozen eggs and are wondering what comes next – this episode will help you balance facts and feelings so you can move forward with more confidence. #eggfreezing #fertility #ivfjourney #fertilitypreservation #reproductivehealth #ttc #familybuilding #donorconception