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Paul Sculfor is widely regarded as Britain's first male supermodel. Behind the fame, success and glamorous lifestyle, he struggled with addiction for years. Now more than 22 years sober, Paul opens up about cocaine addiction, alcohol, anxiety, shame, denial and the moment he finally asked for help. From the outside, Paul had a life many people dream of. His international modelling career brought success, financial independence and incredible opportunities. Yet beneath the surface, he battled insecurity, anxiety and low self-worth. Alcohol and drugs initially helped him feel accepted, but his relationship with substances became increasingly destructive. Paul describes the moment he discovered he had spent the money he had worked so hard to earn. Despite promising himself he was finished with cocaine, he found himself using again just days later. He recalls the frightening events that followed, the exhaustion that brought him to his knees and the moment he finally asked for help. We explore the anxiety and self-consciousness Paul experienced growing up, his desire to fit in and how a painful experience early in his modelling career affected his confidence and sense of safety. He explains how he tried to hide that pain behind outward success. Paul also discusses functioning addiction, how someone can appear successful while struggling behind closed doors, and why fame and money couldn't resolve his unhappiness. He speaks candidly about rehab, the shame he carried and the moment he seriously considered ending his life. A conversation with a friend helped him see another possibility. Paul explains how recovery changed his life and how returning to acting helped him rebuild his confidence. More than two decades into recovery, Paul reflects on the role of the 12-step programme, why he continues attending meetings and how recovery can help us change destructive thought patterns. He explains how the same obsessive thinking that once caused suffering can become a positive force. Today, Paul helps others affected by addiction through the Stride Foundation and hosts This Is Powerful, exploring mindset, mental health and recovery. Paul's story reminds us that outward success doesn't tell the whole story, and recovery can offer far more than simply putting down drugs and alcohol. It can help us build a life that feels meaningful from the inside. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK. Find support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e SPONSOR: RECOVERY CARTEL A clothing brand celebrating recovery. Website: https://www.therecoverycartel.co.uk SUPPORT SCHOOL OF ROCK BOTTOM Buy Me a Coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal CHAPTERS 0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:00 A rock bottom moment 12:00 Anxiety, hyperactivity & low self-esteem 16:30 Early drinking 19:00 Childhood & early career 24:30 Coke and alcohol at 11am 28:00 When did addiction start? 30:45 Early modelling career & anxiety 35:00 Coming out of denial 37:00 Mountain tops can be painful too 38:30 Not wanting to live 41:00 Being able to look the world in the eye 44:00 How Paul stays sober 50:45 Cross addiction? FOLLOW PAUL SCULFOR Instagram: https://instagram.com/paulsculfor This Is Powerful: https://www.instagram.com/this_ispowerful Stride Foundation: https://www.instagram.com/stride.foundation FOLLOW OLIVER MASON Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook: https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok: https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn: https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 WATCH OR LISTEN TO THE PODCAST YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/ykbxducc Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/ynkkdt4j Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #PaulSculfor #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety

What if the person you're angry with isn't the problem? What if your anger is exposing something you've spent your entire life trying to hide? In recovery, I discovered something deeply uncomfortable: beneath my anger was often a fear that I wasn't good enough, that people didn't love me, or that I didn't matter. I wanted to control everyone around me because, deep down, I couldn't bear feeling out of control myself. Then, in early recovery, a friend failed to call me back. I was furious. I made it personal. I convinced myself he didn't care about me. But when I finally discovered what he was going through, I felt physically sick. Because his world was falling apart, and somehow, I'd made it all about me. In this episode of School of Rock Bottom Thought Series, Oliver Mason explores the hidden connection between anger, addiction, ego, fear and self-esteem... and why the need to control other people can leave us trapped in our own suffering. What if the thing that's making you angry has absolutely nothing to do with you? And what if letting go of that need to control everything could be the very thing that sets you free? Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bdc5dvfc Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 About the “THOUGHT” series - Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds #AddictionRecovery #AngerManagement #MentalHealth

Adam Lancashire survived a cardiac arrest after decades of alcohol and cocaine addiction. In May 2024, his heart stopped for 26 minutes. After weeks in intensive care, he woke up with hypoxic brain damage and faced the challenge of rebuilding his life. He had to relearn basic skills, including how to walk and talk, confront the consequences of his addiction and find a way forward without drugs or alcohol. Now more than two years sober, Adam joins me to share his extraordinary story for the first time, covering addiction, survival, recovery, family breakdown and learning to live again. What happens when addiction takes you to the edge of death? And how do you rebuild your life when you wake up to discover that even the simplest everyday tasks have become a challenge? Adam's story is one of survival, resilience and a second chance. His childhood was marked by instability, and he discovered drugs at a young age. By 15, he was using cocaine. What began as a way to escape and feel more confident developed into years of alcohol and drug use, with serious consequences for his relationships, family life and wellbeing. Despite periods of apparent success, Adam struggled with addiction behind the scenes. Relationships broke down, family connections suffered, and the cycle of drinking and cocaine use became increasingly difficult to escape. Then, in May 2024, everything changed. After playing football, Adam collapsed on his way back to the station. He suffered a cardiac arrest and was resuscitated before being taken to hospital. After weeks in intensive care, he woke up with hypoxic brain damage. Surviving the cardiac arrest was only the beginning. Adam faced the enormous challenge of rebuilding his physical and cognitive abilities, learning to walk, speak, eat and carry out everyday tasks again. Alongside his rehabilitation, he also had to confront the addiction and personal struggles that had shaped so much of his life. Adam explains how he found his way into recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous, the importance of friendship and fellowship, and how helping others gave him a renewed sense of purpose. He speaks honestly about his approach to the 12-step programme and why he believes recovery does not look the same for everyone. Adam also opens up about guilt, shame and the pain of family relationships affected by addiction, including his estrangement from his son. He reflects on the temptation to romanticise the past, even when that past caused so much damage, and the difficult process of learning to forgive himself. His experience of recovering from brain damage while maintaining his sobriety brings another dimension to the conversation. Adam describes the frustration of losing abilities he once took for granted. Adam's shows that recovery does not have to follow rigid rules or a single prescribed path, and that rebuilding a life can begin even after the most devastating setbacks. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Sponsor - www.gavinsisters.co.uk promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Support us - https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:20 A rock bottom moment 8:25 Do you need a dramatic rock bottom? 10:35 The Invisible Line! 11:35 Money, travel and a morphine drop 16:35 Drinking leads to coke 19:35 Getting high on your own supply 22:50 Stealing & affairs 27:35 Estranged from family and giving up on yourself 31:05 Addiction progresses 35:50 A moment in The ICU 37:35 The recovery starts 41:05 Cravings return 42:20 Struggling with higher power in AA 44:05 Friendships in recovery 46:50 Can you do fellowship your way? Follow Adam Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adamcamehome https://www.instagram.com/adam_lancashire Follow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermason YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/4jmw275u Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/y9ay6kmk Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #CocaineAddiction #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety

Fear can make recovery feel impossible. Addiction tells you that you are going to lose everything you love, or that you will never get the life you want. But what if those thoughts are not predictions, but lies? In this School of Rock Bottom Thought Series, Oliver Mason explores fear, catastrophising, relapse, gratitude, faith and the power of living in the present moment. Drawing on my own recovery and years of working with people in addiction treatment, I asks a simple but powerful question: what if you stopped putting your faith in the fear and started putting your faith in recovery? Addiction has a remarkable ability to hijack our thinking. The moment we become grateful for our relationships, our work, our health or our lives, fear can turn those very things into reasons to worry. What if I lose this? What if everything goes wrong? What if I never get what I want? Suddenly, the future becomes a place of catastrophe, and alcohol or drugs can begin to look like an escape from a future that exists only in our imagination. I explor why living in the day can be such a powerful principle in recovery. We cannot know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow, but addiction can convince us that we do. It gives us the worst possible outcome and presents it as though it is inevitable. Learning to recognise that process can create space between the fear and the decision to pick up a drink or drug. I also explores the relationship between fear and self-centred thinking, and why helping another person can be such a powerful way of getting out of our own heads. From working with people in rehab to simply being there for somebody else, recovery can shift our attention away from the relentless internal noise of what I calls the “Oli show”. For people who find the spiritual language of recovery difficult, I offer another way of looking at faith. You do not necessarily have to believe in God or follow a particular religion to have faith. You can put your faith in recovery itself. Every day without drugs or alcohol becomes another piece of evidence that recovery works. Even when life becomes difficult, the overall trajectory can still be moving forward. This thought is ultimately about learning to trust the process. A difficult day does not mean recovery has failed. A closed door does not necessarily mean the end of the road. Sometimes the path simply changes. Sometimes the thing you feared losing makes way for something you could never have imagined finding. If you are in recovery, struggling with fear, worried about relapse, questioning your future or finding it difficult to trust that things can get better, this is a reminder to stay in the day, reach out, help somebody else and give tomorrow the opportunity to surprise you. Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bdc5dvfc Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 About the “THOUGHT” series - Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds #AddictionRecovery #RelapsePrevention #RecoveryIsPossible

What does alcoholism look like when nobody knows you have a problem? Tamsin spent nearly a decade drinking alone while building a successful career as a journalist, convinced that because she hadn't been arrested, lost her job or ended up in hospital, she couldn't be an alcoholic. She got sober in 2022, built a life in recovery, and then relapsed for one night in 2025 after putting her sobriety second. In this conversation, Tamsin opens up about hidden alcoholism, denial, addiction, relapse, shame, self-worth and why you don't need to hit rock bottom before asking for help. Tamsin describes what she calls being a "boring alcoholic": no dramatic arrests, car crashes or headline-making consequences, but a private addiction that increasingly controlled her life. She explains how alcohol became her way of managing anxiety, sleeping, socialising and feeling confident, while underneath it all she was struggling with self-worth. We talk about the moment she realised something wasn't right, sitting on a bus waiting for a shop to open so she could buy wine after finishing a night shift. Tamsin speaks candidly about her relapse in 2025 after almost three years sober. She explains what she means by "putting recovery second", how the same negative thoughts and patterns returned after one drink, and why having a recovery network around her helped her stop a one-night relapse from becoming something much bigger. We discuss relapse, the shame that can follow it, and the danger of believing that you've wasted your previous sobriety. Tamsin shares what it was like returning to recovery spaces after relapsing and how the tools she had built over nearly three years were still there when she needed them. We also explore relationships in recovery, including what it was like for Tamsin's partner to see her drunk for the first time. We talk about alcohol-free homes, boundaries and why protecting your recovery sometimes has to come before everything else. Another part of the conversation is alcohol delivery apps and how they can remove the barriers between craving and access. Tamsin explains how she secretly used delivery services during active addiction, while Oliver shares his experience of rapid alcohol delivery. Tamsin's message to anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol is simple: you do not need to call yourself an alcoholic, have a dramatic story or wait for your life to fall apart before you deserve help. If your drinking is making your life more negative, or you don't know what will happen once you take that first drink, that may be enough to start asking questions. Tamsin shares her experience openly online, helping people who don't recognise themselves in the stereotypical image of addiction. She has founded a sober and sober-curious book club, is an advisory director of a sober CIC, raises money for alcohol harm charities. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Sponsor - www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Support us - https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:00 I didn't have a "rock bottom" moment! 7:00 What is rock bottom? 9:30 Hidden addiction is more dangerous? 12:15 Smashing denial 16:15 Hanxiety, sleep and migraines 18:00 Alcohol, relationships and control 19:45 I never felt "part of" 23:30 What is an alcoholic? 26:30 Putting your recovery second 30:30 Can you relapse for 1 day?! 34:15 How relapse effects your partner 38:30 Does your partner drink? 42:30 Picking back up tools during a relapse 46:00 Alcohol doesn't work anymore! 48:00 Alcohol delivery apps 56:00 Everyone deserves help Follow Tamsin Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@soberjourno Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tamsinsoberjourno Follow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermason YouTube - https://youtu.be/nb0ql7PrGpM Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/5fv45axp Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #Alcoholism #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety

What if the thought “Life is shit. What’s the point?” isn’t the truth, but simply a thought? In this next School of Rock Bottom Thought Series, Oliver Mason explores self-pity, addiction, recovery, intrusive thoughts, anxiety and the search for purpose. I share how I learned to stop identifying with every thought my brain produced, challenge the stories that kept me trapped, and recognise the evidence that recovery was actually changing my life. From standing on a train platform with an intrusive thought to discovering the unexpected power of a gratitude list, this is a conversation about finding meaning when your mind is telling you there is none. In active addiction, “Life is shit. What’s the point?” can feel less like a passing thought and more like an undeniable fact. I explain how that same thought can still appear in recovery, even when I am completely clean and sober. The difference is what happens next. Rather than seeing myself as my thoughts, I describe seeing myself as the awareness of those thoughts. That small gap between having a thought and reacting to it became a game changer. I explore how this perspective helped me challenge anxiety, rumination and the tendency to turn one frightening thought into an entire story about myself. I also share a powerful example of experiencing an intrusive thought on a train platform and immediately spiralling into anxiety and self-diagnosis. The thought itself wasn't necessarily the problem. My reaction to it was. For me, recovery has increasingly been about recognising that while I may not have complete control over what enters my mind, I can develop far more choice over how I respond. The conversation then moves into one of the most important questions in recovery: what gives your life a point? I remember calling a mentor during early recovery and saying, “Life is shit. What’s the point?” Instead of joining me in the self-pity, my mentor challenged me to find something on my gratitude list that proved the thought wasn't true. What I discovered was surprisingly simple. I had spent time with my godson and watched a film. But within those ordinary moments was something much bigger: I was someone's godfather. I had a young person in my life who looked up to me. Suddenly, my life had purpose. That experience changed the way I viewed gratitude. What had once felt like meaningless box-ticking became evidence that my life was changing. The things on my gratitude list were things that were possible because I was sober. I also explore the idea that recovery isn't simply about removing alcohol or drugs. The energy, drive and intensity that once went into addiction doesn't necessarily disappear. It can be redirected towards purpose, creativity, relationships, service and building a completely different life. Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bdc5dvfc Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 About the “THOUGHT” series - Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds #AddictionRecovery #RelapsePrevention #RecoveryIsPossible

Rick Keane was known as the fixer in Ibiza. If you needed a comedy act booked for Ibiza Rocks, a luxury yacht arranged or almost anything else sorted, Rick was the man who could make it happen. But behind the scenes, his life was slowly falling apart. Ketamine addiction, criminality, secrecy and denial eventually led him into residential rehab — twice. After six months in treatment, a period of recovery and a five month relapse, Rick had to start again. Now approaching 18 months in recovery, he's a barber, works in a homeless project and gives back at the rehab that helped save his life. Rick opens up about the reality of ketamine addiction and what life looked like when he could no longer control his use. He talks honestly about secrecy, lies, control, ego and losing control through drugs. Rick explains how ketamine initially gave him an escape from his thoughts and relief from emotional pain. We explore how his use progressed, the culture surrounding ketamine in Ibiza, tolerance, K-holes and why what initially felt like freedom became another form of captivity. Rick describes the physical consequences of ketamine, including severe ketamine cramps, bladder problems and a large hole in his nose. We discuss ketamine-induced bladder damage, why symptoms can develop quickly for some people and how people can continue taking the drug even after being warned about potentially permanent consequences. We go back to Rick's childhood and explore control, confrontation, people pleasing, seeking excitement, criminality, abandonment and the need for validation. We discuss why recovery isn't simply about stopping the substance — it's also about understanding the person underneath the addiction. Rick talks about his six months in residential treatment, initially entering rehab without really wanting recovery, and the moment something began to change. He explains how treatment helped him discover a different life, retrain as a barber and find purpose through helping others. We also talk about publicly funded drug and alcohol treatment in the UK, asking for help, residential treatment and aftercare, and why you don't necessarily have to feel completely ready before entering treatment. Rick is incredibly honest about relapse. He explains how a relationship became part of a much bigger build-up, why he initially wanted to blame somebody else, and what he discovered when he looked honestly at the months leading up to his relapse. Rick shares what the 12-step programme has given him, including the importance of Step Five, honesty, accountability and being able to speak openly about the things that previously crippled his life. Rick's story shows that recovery isn't about becoming perfect. It's about understanding yourself, taking responsibility and continuing to move forward when things don't go according to plan. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Sponsor - www.gavinsisters.co.uk and promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Support us: PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:00 A rock bottom moment 5:30 Rock bottoms in recovery? 7:30 HARD life lessons in treatment centre 10:30 Excitement & control 12:15 Stealing 14:00 Rick's life is a contradiction 16:00 Sobriety leads to clarity 18:00 Getting addicted to ketamine 22:30 The consequences of ketamine 28:20 Why is ketamine use on the rise? 31:30 How addiction is progressive 33:15 The K Hole stopped 34:15 Doing a geographical 36:15 NHS alcohol and drug treatment 40:00 Emotions in early recovery 45:15 Dating in early recovery 48:16 Coming back from relapse 51:00 Finding purpose and a new direction 53:15 Step 5 & relapse Follow Rick Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/rick_keane27 Follow Oliver - https://linktr.ee/olivermason YouTube -https://tinyurl.com/3u2aftj6 Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/ycxywcby Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #KetamineAddiction #AddictionRecovery #Recovery

What happens when the attention you once craved becomes the very thing that destroys you? In this next thought, I revisit a conversation with Georgina Baillie as she opens up about cocaine addiction, sex work, eating disorders, validation, and the desperate search for love and self-worth that took her from feeling invisible to living a life that spiralled completely out of control. At 19, male attention felt like power. After years of feeling invisible, suddenly men wanted her, bought her things and made her feel important. But underneath that newfound confidence was an eating disorder, a growing dependence on drugs and what Georgina now describes as an addiction to validation and attention. What began as a search for acceptance eventually became something far darker. Georgina describes how her cocaine addiction led her into sex work because she needed drugs. At the height of her addiction, she would even bypass the money and ask for cocaine instead. Her story raises difficult questions about the relationship between addiction, sex, validation and self-worth. What happens when we become dependent on other people to tell us that we matter? And how do we rebuild a sense of identity when the things we once believed gave us value begin to disappear? Georgina also takes us to her first true rock bottom in 2017, when she was 31 and was assaulted by a pimp, leaving burst blood vessels across her face. But even that moment was part of a much longer journey towards understanding just how unwell she had become. Now approaching 40, she reflects on how dramatically her understanding of herself has changed. The looks, attention and status that once seemed like everything have become almost irrelevant compared with the things she now considers genuinely important. Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/y9htydau Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/4a6353rp Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 About the “THOUGHT” series - Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Follow Georgina Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/georgielondonart Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds #Addiction #MentalHealth #Recovery

Ruth Harris used to drink vodka for breakfast. She survived years of addiction, repeated attempts to get clean and sober, domestic violence and some of the darkest moments of her life. Eight years later, she is a recovering addict, entrepreneur and TEDx speaker who has dedicated her life to challenging the stigma around addiction and helping people understand recovery. Ruth takes us inside her lowest moments that finally changed everything: waking up surrounded by drug paraphernalia, completely alone, consumed by shame and feeling that she would rather not be here than continue living that way. Ruth explains why a rock bottom moment was not necessarily the most catastrophic thing that happened to her, but the moment she experienced what she describes as spiritual bankruptcy. She had tried recovery before. She had stopped and started, made promises and relapsed. This time, something finally shifted. We go back to Ruth’s childhood to understand what was happening underneath the addiction long before she picked up a drink or a drug. She describes feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, feeling like an alien around other people and becoming dependent on validation, intense relationships and being liked. She also reveals how controlling food became another way of trying to manage feelings she didn't know how to process. Ruth speaks candidly about her relationship with alcohol, cocaine, crack, opiates and prescription drugs, and explains why she never really had a single drug of choice. We explore what substances initially gave her: confidence, connection, freedom from fear, guilt and shame, and the feeling that she had finally found somewhere she belonged. We then examine how that search for connection ultimately became isolation. We discuss relapse in detail, including why Ruth repeatedly believed she could eventually drink normally and how she grieved alcohol and drugs almost like losing a relationship. She explains the moment she realised the substance itself wasn't the entire problem and that she had to confront her thinking, identity and behaviour. Ruth also opens up about living with ADHD and bipolar disorder alongside addiction. She describes a mind that felt like a washing machine, constantly telling her she wasn't good enough. We explore self-medication, neurodiversity and the complicated relationship between ADHD, mental health and addiction. Ruth explains why isolation was so destructive for her and why community became such a powerful part of her recovery. She talks openly about the role the 12 Steps, meetings, spirituality, prayer, meditation and other people played in helping her rebuild her life. Then comes the plot twist: resilience and the unexpected strengths that can emerge from addiction and recovery. Ruth believes the determination, creativity, obsession and ability to solve problems that once fuelled her addiction can be redirected into something extraordinary in recovery. Support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e SPONSOR - www.gavinsisters.co.uk promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Support us: https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 2:30 A rock bottom moment 5:20 Is there a spiritual rock bottom? 9:05 Codependency 11:50 The relationship of drugs & food 14:35 Alcohol, coke and crack 17:30 When does relapse start? 18:10 Addiction, bipolar & ADHD 27:00 Relapse 29:20 Thinking was the problem 31:30 Looking for LOVE 32:35 Why the 12 steps helped Ruth 36:50 Becoming nothing to become everything 38:20 Letting go 43:10 Humility & recovery 45:05 Transforming the energy of addiction 48:50 Hardships shape resilience 53:20 Hold your head high! Follow Ruth Website - https://www.ruthharrismethod.com Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/fromhightodry Ted Talk - https://tinyurl.com/4cxzwy6s Follow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermason YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/49ht6efa Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

Self-pity can keep addiction alive long after the drink or drug has stopped. In this next thought, Oliver Mason explores the connection between self-pity, addiction, relapse, shame and self-forgiveness, and why the way we speak to ourselves can become another form of self-harm. If you’re struggling with addiction, early recovery, shame or the belief that you don’t deserve happiness, this conversation may challenge the way you see yourself. Oliver breaks down what self-pity actually means in the context of addiction and recovery. He shares his own experience of relentlessly attacking himself, believing he was a terrible person and becoming trapped in a cycle where shame and self-pity fed directly back into drinking and relapse. Oliver explores three powerful lies that addiction can make us believe, beginning with the idea that we are somehow too damaged, too shameful or too undeserving to recover. He explains why the consequences of addiction are not evidence that someone is a bad person, but can instead be evidence of the powerlessness and loss of control that addiction creates. He also examines why understanding addiction matters when it comes to self-forgiveness, and why connection with other people in recovery can be so important. Sometimes hearing someone else tell their story and responding with compassion allows us to recognise something we struggle to give ourselves: forgiveness. This episode also explores the difficult relationship between shame, self-pity and relapse, including the uncomfortable possibility that holding onto guilt can sometimes become an unconscious insurance policy for future substance use. If you are in recovery from alcohol addiction, drug addiction or another compulsive behaviour, or you’re struggling to move beyond the things you did while in active addiction, this is a conversation about self-compassion, accountability, forgiveness and learning to believe that recovery is something you deserve too. Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/4xmpzt7n Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 About the “THOUGHT” series - Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds #AddictionRecovery #RelapsePrevention #RecoveryIsPossible

Aish went from drinking 2–3 glasses of wine a week to more than 400 units of alcohol a week. She became physically dependent on alcohol, experienced severe withdrawal and alcohol-induced psychosis, got sober, stayed sober for a year, and then relapsed. Now sober since November 2025 and in early recovery, Aish joins me to tell the story of how her drinking spiralled, what finally brought her home from Canada, why she relapsed, and what recovery looks like this time. Aish has always struggled to find her place in the world. She began drinking to fit in after a misdiagnosis at 17, and what started as social drinking during years of summers abroad slowly became something far more hidden — and far more severe. At its worst, Aish became physically dependent on alcohol and experienced severe withdrawal, including vomiting, blackouts, confusion and episodes where reality itself became unstable. A move to Canada was meant to change everything. It didn't. By September 2024, Aish describes reaching complete exhaustion — mentally, physically and emotionally — sick and tired of being sick and tired. She flew home, got sober and, a year later, relapsed. Aish takes us inside the reality of severe alcohol addiction and explains how something that initially helped her feel accepted and normal eventually became something she couldn't function without. She recalls one of the darkest moments of her addiction: sitting on the floor of an airport toilet in Canada, drinking whiskey while families around her prepared to go on holiday. She was physically unwell, struggling to walk and drinking simply to prevent withdrawal so she could make the journey home. Aish also opens up about the periods when alcohol affected her perception of reality, including hallucinations and alcohol-induced psychosis. She explains how frightening it became when she could no longer trust what she was seeing and hearing. The conversation explores what may have been underneath her addiction, including a late diagnosis of ADHD and autism, an ongoing OCD assessment, trauma, masking, intrusive thoughts and years of feeling different and misunderstood. She talks about lockdown and becoming consumed by intrusive thoughts about death, leading to months of isolation and bad mental health. Aish is also incredibly honest about relapse. After a year sober, she returned to drinking despite knowing where alcohol had taken her before. She explains why getting sober for other people wasn't enough, what happened when she relapsed and how subsequent withdrawal became even more frightening. Oliver and Aish discuss the physical and emotional consequences of addiction, the guilt and shame that can follow it, and the difficult work that begins once the drinking stops. Now in early recovery, Aish is learning to stop masking, confront the parts of her past she previously avoided and discover who she is underneath addiction. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Sponsor www.gavinsisters.co.uk promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:05 A rock bottom moment 6:05 Sleeping tablets & Food 8:05 Feeling "different" 10:35 ADHD & socialising 12:45 Misdiagnosed with bipolar 14:35 Being sectioned 16:05 Masking 17:20 Lockdown accelerates drinking 21:05 OCD 24:05 Alcohol tolerance & 400 units a week 28:20 Suicidal thoughts 29:45 Alcohol psychosis 32:35 Alcohol withdrawal 34:45 Relapse 36:05 The kindling effect 38:05 Wet Brain 40:35 You have to WANT to get sober 41:20 Aish's recovery 43:50 Guilt, shame and vulnerability 48:05 Forgiving yourself 54:20 The joys of sobriety! 56:05 Try everything to get sober! Follow Aish TikTok - aish_thesoberseat Instagram - aish_thesoberseat Podcast - https://tinyurl.com/znf5m6ja Follow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermason YouTube - https://youtu.be/t3aMXncxaXM Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AlcoholAddiction #Recovery #Sobriety

What happens to relationships when you enter recovery? Can love help someone recover, or does recovery have to come first? In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Joe Sealey as we reflect on one of the biggest questions people ask in early recovery: should you stay single, or can a relationship support lasting sobriety? We explore the reality of addiction, codependency, recovery, and why keeping life simple in those first few months can make all the difference. If you're struggling with cocaine, alcohol, or any form of addiction, or you're supporting someone you love, this conversation offers an honest, compassionate perspective on what recovery really looks like. It's important to say that this conversation is not suggesting that people already in healthy, supportive relationships should end them. A loving, stable relationship can be one of the greatest sources of strength in recovery. The discussion is about avoiding unnecessary complications in early recovery and recognising when a new relationship might become a distraction from the work of getting well. Recovery isn't just about stopping drugs or alcohol. It's about rebuilding a life from the ground up. We discuss why so many people in early recovery search for something new to fill the void, whether that's a relationship, a business, a pet, or another obsession, and why that instinct can sometimes become another distraction from the real work. We also explore the role relationships play in long-term recovery. Is it better to be with someone who understands addiction firsthand, or can a partner outside the recovery world provide the stability and normality that's often missing? It's a deeply honest conversation about love, boundaries, peace at home, and why the healthiest relationships don't always revolve around addiction at all. Of course, many couples who are both in recovery can have healthy relationships too! The episode also touches on the difficult reality faced by partners of people in active addiction. What should you do when someone is coming down from a binge? When is it time to step back? And how do you support someone without losing yourself in the process? Finally, we discuss one of the most emotional questions in recovery: can another person save your life? We explore gratitude, dependence, personal responsibility, and why, although love can be a powerful catalyst for change, lasting recovery ultimately has to come from within. Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/s76869cw Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/y5hyzk3e Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 About the “THOUGHT” series - Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Support the podcast - https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Follow Joe Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/joesealey Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@joesealey1 Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds #CocaineAddiction #JoeSealey #AddictionRecovery

Anthony Kavanagh was living the dream. Signed to Virgin Records at just 18 years old, he went on to achieve eight Top 40 hits, two Top 10 singles, and won Smash Hits Best Male Artist — becoming the pop star he had written down as a teenager that he wanted to become. But behind the fame, success and recognition was a hidden battle with addiction, alcoholism, identity, loneliness and the desperate search for validation. Anthony believed success would finally make him feel accepted, but the validation he spent years chasing never filled the emptiness underneath. Anthony was also carrying a secret struggle with his sexual identity and the pressure of hiding parts of himself while living in the public eye. By his early 20s, after moving to Hollywood in pursuit of bigger success and the bright lights, Anthony began to realise he was in denial about his addictions. What followed was a devastating descent from pop stardom into addiction, homelessness and complete breakdown. He went from performing in front of thousands of people to living without a home, occasionally being recognised as “that singer” while privately experiencing total collapse. At his lowest, Anthony’s addiction progressed into a life controlled by alcohol and drugs — morning drinking just to function, hiding alcohol in coffee cups and reaching a point where drinking was no longer a choice but a compulsion, even when his body was rejecting it. He experienced multiple rehab attempts, relapse and devastating losses while carrying deeper emotional wounds beneath the addiction — the death of his father, his sister’s illness and death, and a lifelong feeling of loneliness that he traces back to childhood. His memoir Pop Scars documents the full journey from pop success to rock bottom, without excuses or victim mentality. It is a brutally honest account of fame, addiction, shame and identity that is at times as funny as it is heartbreaking, earning rave reviews from readers, including praise from Marian Keyes and The Guardian. Now four years sober, Anthony Kavanagh speaks openly about alcoholism, addiction recovery, mental health, relapse and the daily work required to rebuild a life. This is a conversation about what happens when the person the world sees is completely different from the person suffering behind closed doors — and how hope can still be found after losing everything. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit - www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:00 A rock bottom moment 7:30 Escape, dream dreaming & loneliness 10:20 Using fame to fix the hole in the soul 14:40 Fame wasn't enough tuned to drugs 17:30 Coming out of denial 18:40 Addiction progresses slowly 20:10 Being smashed on TV 21:40 Cocaine 24:30 Coming out as gay 28:10 I just wanted to drink normally! 30:40 Relapse 31:30 Consequences & chaos 33:10 Fame and shame 36:40 Wanting to be loved 39:50 Not wanting to stop drinking 41:30 Recovery sayings made me angry 43:10 Connection and spirituality 44:55 Alcoholic obsession 49:10 Staying sober 50:30 There's always hope Follow Antony https://www.instagram.com/anthony_kavana Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - Spotify - Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #Addiction #Recovery #Sobriety

What if the biggest breakthrough in recovery isn't stopping drinking, but changing who you believe you are? In this next thought, I revisit a conversation with Nigel Jones and the mindset shift that finally set him free after years of failed attempts to quit alcohol. If you've ever promised yourself "this is the last time" only to relapse days later, this conversation could completely change the way you think about addiction, recovery and lasting change. This isn't about willpower. It's about identity. I share the moment my thinking transformed from seeing myself as a victim of alcoholism to becoming the hero of my own story. Inspired by the Hero's Journey, Nigel explain why recovery begins long before you put down the drink, and how changing your identity can make sobriety feel possible instead of impossible. We also explore the powerful link between intention, beliefs, values and behaviour, and why your destiny is shaped long before your actions become habits. Nigel explains why he chose to call himself a non-drinker from day one, rather than waiting to "earn" that identity after weeks or months of sobriety. If you're struggling with alcohol addiction, alcohol use disorder (AUD), repeated relapses, or you're supporting someone who is, this episode offers a fresh perspective that could help you build long-term recovery. Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/msrrwcn6 Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/y8kmhm62 Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 About the “THOUGHT” series - Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Support the podcast - https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Follow Nigel Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/9kmby9am Website -https://www.9kmby9am.com Nigel's book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DLPH36R3/ Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds #Sobriety #AlcoholFree #SoberCurious

What if addiction isn't the problem, but the solution to pain you never knew you were carrying? Anita Chellamah looked like she had everything. She appeared on Top of the Pops with Legs & Co, fronted and co-wrote The Cherry Bombz, supported Poison on tour in America, performed at the legendary CBGB in New York and on the Reading Festival Main Stage, was a member of Toto Coelo, who reached No. 6 in the UK charts and No. 4 in Australia, and became one of the first presenters on Sky Television and one of its first presenters of colour, hosting her own shows and performing Sky's 5th Anniversary song. From the outside, it looked like success in every direction. Behind the scenes, however, she was quietly battling addiction. At just 19, while performing in the West End production of Bubbling Brown Sugar, she was prescribed amphetamines by a private doctor who was later struck off. By her late twenties, nights began with champagne, continued with cocaine and ended with Night Nurse. At 29, she stopped. She hasn't had a drink or a drug since. Today, Anita is a trauma, addiction and DBT therapist with nearly four decades of sobriety. Qualified since 1998, she works in private practice, receiving referrals and working with organisations including the Priory, Steps Together and Castle Craig, specialising in addiction, trauma and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) with individuals, couples, families and groups. Anita explains why rock bottom rarely looks like the movies, why childhood trauma, shame and emotional pain so often drive addiction, and why recovery is about far more than simply putting down the drink or the drug. We explore the hidden links between trauma, ADHD, binge drinking, cocaine addiction, alcoholism, codependency, self-worth, mental health, emotional regulation and long-term recovery. Anita shares how recovery transformed not only her relationship with alcohol and drugs, but also the way she understands herself, her emotions and the world around her. The conversation also tackles some of the biggest debates in recovery today, including trauma therapy, 12-step fellowships, medication in recovery, antidepressants, ADHD medication, relapse prevention, addictive personality and why there is no single path that works for everyone. Nearly 40 years sober, Anita's humility, honesty and wisdom offer hope to anyone wondering whether lasting recovery from addiction and alcoholism is really possible. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit - www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1 Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics - 0:00 Trailer & Intro 2:55 A rock bottom moment 5:25 Binge drinking & progression 9:25 Childhood 12:45 ADHD and intrusive thoughts 14:30 Using performing arts as medicine 17:25 Access vs genetics 18:45 Dealing with denial 20:15 Recovery in 1988 25:35 Do all addicts have trauma? 30:35 We are all different 33:35 How therapy helped Anita 38:25 WE ARE NOT DOCTORS! 43:50 Still an addict after 38 years? 48:20 Humility & labels 51:35 Addictive personality & escape? 57:20 Boundaries Follow Anita https://www.instagram.com/anitachellamah Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9 LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7 Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/y5bwbcay Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/58jp2jyj Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #Addiction #Recovery #Sobriety