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In today's episode, Kylene discusses trauma, what it is, how it impacts the brain and body in a variety of ways, and offers the reminder that while our symptoms and pain can be overwhelming, healing is possible.   found this referral link to HungryRoot after we recorded - check it out for easy meals! https://www.hungryroot.com/r/CW7WWBUI Link to Kylene's personal dispensary where you can find supplements she listed with the brands she likes: https://us.fullscript.com/s/kylenet/shop/plans/TXVsdGlQYXRpZW50UGxhbi0xMTI2NjM=   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore five essential things a betrayed partner needs from their spouse in order to truly heal. They unpack each element with depth and honesty, including: Taking full responsibility without minimizing or making excuses Creating safety—especially by addressing power dynamics and physical presence Making her feel seen, chosen, and prioritized Recovering for yourself, not just to save the relationship Demonstrating long-term consistency and follow-through Patrick shares personal insights and real-life experiences as they walk through each step. Together, they explain why these actions are not just helpful—but crucial— after betrayal. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    For addicted spouses check our puredesire.org and soulrefiner.org Follow Kylene: On TikTok: @KyleneTerhune  On IG: @KyleneTerhune

This week we share some (random) reflections on recovery and our experience going to our first conference related to betrayal and addiction recovery!    Some topics we discuss: What it felt like to be in a place full of individuals sharing a similar journey Why it's important to challenge what you believe and listen to people viewed as teachers or leaders with discernment  Some helpful perspectives/definitions of recovery terms like boundaries, safety and anxiety   We hope this episode is encouraging! We don't have a link for next year's summit, but we encourage you to follow pure desire on socials, and subscribe to their weekly podcast! www.puredesire.org    Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

Today Kylene answers a listener's submitted question about what to do if the betrayer won't go to a support group?    Books mentioned:   How to Untie a Balloon: (book around dealing with pressure) https://amzn.to/471SJYw Nothing to Fear:  (book about end of life choices) https://amzn.to/3TKZnzk     The Big Relief: (book about grace) https://amzn.to/4ALa9GB     Anatomy of the Soul: (emotions, neuroscience and faith) https://amzn.to/4AVRKaa     Help her Heal: (understanding partner betrayal trauma)  https://amzn.to/4hHOwxQ     Unwanted:(importance of connecting the WHY underneath the behaviors) https://amzn.to/4jpqlaj     Altogether YOU:(book about internal family systems/parts work) https://amzn.to/4xYRmop     Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: (combination of emotional and spiritual maturity)  https://amzn.to/3U4Kfgi     Unbroken - The trauma response is never wrong: https://amzn.to/3Vy7qjt     Biology of Trauma: https://amzn.to/4dWlyJD   *As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.     Podcast episode mentioned - Ep 90 Sobriety vs Recovery: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000684064277     Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

Today, Kylene walks through some questions from chapter 4 of How to Untie A Balloon: A negotiator's Guide to Avoid Popping Under Pressure byRyan Dunlap, and shares some of her thoughts around them.   Get the book (amazon affiliate link): "How to Untie A Balloon": https://amzn.to/4xR4Rq6   Listen to episode 204 from Inner Work podcast with Maryann Walked about stories we tell ourselves vs facts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/inner-work-with-maryann-walker-life-coach-for-people/id1644798383?i=1000756120920     1  - what physical sensations or feelings are happening inside of me that are contributing to the pressure i'm feeling    2 - what thoughts or emotions am I currently experiencing that are contributing to the pressure I'm feeling  - is it fear, sadness, anxiousness, surprise, apprehension,  or disgust?   3 - What is the story I'm telling myself about the emotions I am experiencing? Have I interpreted the emotions positively?  Or negatively?   4 - how are my emotions influencing my decision making and behavior? Are they hindering or helping my ability to lead myself and others effectively? In what way   5 - When did I first recognize I was feeling this way? What signs might I have ignored that could have helped me recognize my feelings sooner?   6 - what previous experiences or painful feelings and I filtering my current challenges through that might be coloring my response to it   7 - have I made a habit of exercising restraint? Or do I regularly give in to impulses when I'm feeling emotional?   8 - has my conduct and behavior been consistently in alignment with my personal values and how I see myself as a leader?   9 - when all is said and done, how would I like to be remembered by others? What story do I want others to share about me?   10 - how do my physical and emotional states change when I am under significant leadership pressure   ***   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

This week's episode focuses on 4 things that couples have who are happy in their marriages:   1) Individual health 2) Regulating each others nervous systems  3) Conflicts are constructive 4) They love being together    We discuss our thoughts on each of these and how they apply through the recovery journey.     Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com    Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In this week's episode, Patrick shares his story and how he related to Kylene through recovery. While every couples specific journey is a little different, Patrick hits on several key points that are universal pillars that we see help couples successfully heal including: 100% honesty and transparency Personal investment and proactive behaviors in your own recovery Empathy and compassion for the betrayed partners pain Listening to the betrayed partner and holding space for their feelings and emotions  If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

Today Patrick discusses the importance of connection through recovery. It's not just going to group, it's being proactive in reaching out. Your recovery is your responsibility which means that in order to build these relationships, you also need to initiate, be consistent, and utilize the connection and friendships before an emergency arises.   Patrick shares some of his personal experiences and the benefits of getting perspective from others who can encourage you through this process.   Patricks recommendations: Set a regular schedule Connect weekly (if not more) Be proactive and take initiative Reach out when you feel good (don't skip it) Reach out when you need support Take ownership of your behaviors and accept the natural consequences Encourage your betrayed partner to get the support and connection they need    If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In this week's episode Kylene is discussing why a betrayed partner may not want to be touched after discovery. There are many reasons a betrayed partner may struggle with touch or physical intimacy after discovering infidelity in their relationship - Kylene walks through several reasons and highlights the importance of safety as the foundation of moving forward.   Check out these previous episodes about sexand intinmacy: Episode 53- Rebuilding trust After betrayal: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000648185653   Episode 54: Sex Through Recovery - Year 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000649141817   Episode 55: Establishing True Intimacy: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000649843594   If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

Today's episode is about modesty - should we focus on it? Should we even have "modesty standards?"    We discuss how focusing on this is focusing on the wrong thing and actually keeps people stuck. When we focus on a micro point instead of a macro value and then try to project it onto others as their responsibility to follow it in order for me to be healthy, we are missing the mark.   Alternatively - what does healing and freedom really look like? What if we raise a new generation of children who are taught how to value themselves and others? This shift can prevent and resolve many issues just by learning how to love ourselves and love others.   Previous episodes that are similar: Episode 127: noticing vs Arousal: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000720874791   Episode 128: Is attraction the same as lusting?: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000721175129   Episode 138:  Where Modesty Culture Goes Wrong: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000731965520   ***   If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss the strategy of crowding out the "bad" with the good. Whenever you want to change habits or patterns they recommend using 3 steps:   1) Identify the change that needs to be made (what are you temping, adding in or changing?)   2) Take some time to identify what that current thing or pattern offers you (Is it stability? Comfort? Distraction?)   3) Replace the old habit with a new habit that offers the same thing or better.   Whether it's hanging our diet, recovering from addiction or healing from trauma, the patterning is the same. One of the things we often miss when changing our habits is step 2- identifying what the habit offers us. This is key to understanding why we keep going back to it.   Episode 67 where talk about the Faster Scale: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000658758308   Episode 69 where we discuss the 3 circles tool: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recoveru-betrayal-trauma-betrayal-recovery-porn-addiction/id1674653111?i=1000660296518   If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In today's episode, Kylene has guest Tyler Patrick on as he discusses what the recovery process for sex and pornography addicts looks like. He takes a principle based approach that moves individuals beyond focusing on sobriety and into a deeper focus on transforming their lives into people of integrity and authenticity so they can live lives of true freedom.   We hope you will check out his great work with the links below: https://risingson.us/ https://www.therapybrothers.org     If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In this week's episode Kylene and Patrick walk through 4 things important for a betrayed partner to focus on shortly after discovering their partner has been unfaithful. Then they walk through 4 things that we often *want* to focus on or feel obligated to focus on, but may not be beneficial to your healing early on.   If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In this week's episode Kylene is discussing several areas where the end of a spectrum can be unhealthy when we sit there too long in our recovery journey. She explores the opposite sides of unhealth and shares how truth, healing and freedom is usually in the nuanced middle.   See visual summary notes from todays episode: https://canva.link/ntp2ynqpk2dkuir   If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources

In this week's episode Kylene and Patrick discuss how important having a vision, plan and goal is. When you hit relational roadblocks along the way, how do you know when it's time to push through vs when to change plans?   The recovery journey will be hard. There will be roadblocks, hurdles, emotional triggers along the way... how do you know when it's healthy to push to through? When do you know it's worth the effort? And when do you know that after the time already given, it's time to move on?   We hope this episode helps you think through these things on your own journey...   If  would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://p.bttr.to/3ttk0Ql   Learn more at www.RecoverUcoaching.com   Check out the What's NEXT course for newly betrayed partners:  https://recoverucoaching.com/whats-next-course     Submit Questions and Feedback to the RecoverU podcast here: https://forms.gle/uww5sWK1WP8T8dbc8    Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/recoveru2    Resources for Healing: https://recoverucoaching.com/resources