Advertise on podcast: 20 Minute Christian Counselor

Click here to send me a text message. We all struggle with having uncomfortable, inappropriate, and unwanted thoughts, feelings, images, ideas and desires pop into our minds. Where are they coming from? What do they mean? How are we supposed to respond to them? There are answers to these questions, and hope for change, if we let God help us. If you have a question, or to arrange a speaking engagement, shoot me an email at [email protected].

Click here to send me a text message. A lot is going on in our polarized political world today. How should we respond to what's happening? God has much to say about that, and it's critical we pay attention to what He's telling us. If you have a question, or to arrange a speaking engagement, shoot me an email at [email protected].

Click here to send me a text message. Oftentimes, we let the feelings and reactions of other people have too great an influence on how we think, feel and act. Why? What can I do to change? How can my relationship with God make a difference? These are the issues I address in this episode... If you have a question, or to arrange a speaking engagement, shoot me an email at [email protected].

Click here to send me a text message. Why is confronting someone so difficult? Should I even address this, or should I just let it go? How do I confront them in the right way? What do I do if they don’t respond well? These are the questions I address and answer in this episode. It's a bit longer than 20 minutes, but for good reason- there's a lot to say about this challenging topic! If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. We all experience disappointment, frustration and anger in our lives. But why? Why so much, and so often? Is there anything we can do to reduce, or even eliminate, these unpleasant feelings? Yes! There is one critical factor which, if we adjust it in our lives, can make a radical difference. You may be surprised at what it is. If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. Having a healthy sense of self respect is critical- it can impact every area of our lives. In this episode I examine why this is true, reveal unhealthy ways in which we try to develop our self respect, and share how we can grow in this aspect of life in a biblically appropriate way. A few key biblical passages which are relevant to this discussion: Genesis 1:27 Psalm 139 Romans 5:8 Ephesians 1:5 1 John 3:1 1 John 1:9 Romans 8:37-39 If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. Making big decisions can often be very challenging. Especially when we realize the choices we make determine the trajectory of our lives. But, we don't have to make these critical decisions alone! In this episode, I share 4 steps we can take to make wise decisions, and explain how we can allow God to be actively involved in the process. In this episode I reference the story of Abraham and Isaac. You can read more about this in Genesis chapter 22. I also refer to Jesus' prayer to His Father when He was in the Garden the night before He was crucified. You can get more details about this in Luke 22:39-46. If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. Are there some things you want to change about your spouse? Have you been trying to change them, and been unsuccessful? Is it even possible to change them? In this episode I address this complicated issue, and offer some very practical strategies you can immediately begin to implement to promote change. Here are some key passages from the bible which provide specific instructions relevant to marriage relationships: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." (Matthew 7:1-5) "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4) "...submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:21-33) If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. Broken relationships are painful, and may feel like they can never be restored. In this episode, I provide some practical counsel on how to respond in these difficult situations, and offer some reasons to maintain hope for reconciliation. Here are a few of the Scripture references I mention: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). ”Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24) “Then Peter came to Him and said, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'”  (Matthew 18:21-22) “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16) If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. Disappointment- we all experience it. Sometimes, it's heartbreaking. How do we cope with it? In this episode, I provide some practical recommendations by challenging us to examine three important areas of our lives: our expectations, our gratitude, and our knowledge of God. Here are several of the Scripture references I mention: “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9) "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. Just because your marriage isn't what you thought it would be, or what you think it should be, or what you'd hoped it might be, doesn't mean you're stuck being unhappy forever. The good news is there are practical steps you can take to increase the joy in your life. And, the best news is you don't have to take them on your own. Here is the theme verse of this episode: "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Jesus - Matthew 19:26) If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. Shame is one of the most powerful, influential emotions we can experience. It's also one feeling that's very difficult to admit or discuss. In this episode I define shame, talk about where it comes from, and most importantly, share how we can be set free from it. Here are a few of the key bible verses I reference: “I have sinned against you—only against you— and done what you consider evil. So you are right in judging me; you are justified in condemning me.” (Psalm 51:4, GNT) “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God” (Hebrews 12:2). “And whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame” (Paul- Romans 9:33, 10:11; Peter- 1 Peter 2:6). If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. You might be surprised at how much you "self talk," and how much it affects you. In this episode I explain self talk, demonstrate how it can impact your life, and share how God can help you change it- which in turn will change your life. Here are a few (there are many more!) verses from Scripture which address the issue of self talk: “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” (Prov. 4:23, GNT) “And do not be conformed to this world,  but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”  (Romans 12:2) “…bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…” (2 Cor. 10:3-6) “…put off…the old man…and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and…put on the new man…” (Eph. 4:22-24) “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on (think about) these things.”  (Philippians 4:8) If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. God calls us as Christ followers to help others. Jesus is our perfect example of this. However, not all "helping" is helpful. In fact, sometimes our helping can actually be harmful. In this episode I explain what this unhelpful helping, also known as "enabling," looks like.  I also discuss the deep reasons why we enable. And, I share some strategies you can implement to begin to stop enabling. God can meet your need for: safety/security (Psalm 16:8) peace (John 16:33) connection/companionship (Matthew 28:20) provision (Philippians 4:19) control/order (Isaiah 41:10) self-esteem/respect/identity (Psalm 139:14; 2 Cor. 5:17) purpose (Romans 8:28) love!!! (1 John 3:1, 4:16) If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.

Click here to send me a text message. I've learned that despite the fact the we know God forgives us, many of us struggle to forgive ourselves. What makes this so hard? Is forgiving ourselves even the right thing to do? If so, how in the world do we go about doing it? In this episode I reference a website I use all the time and find very helpful: www.blueletterbible.org. Check it out. A couple of relevant verses about forgiveness: "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus"  (Romans 8:1). "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.