
Advertise on podcast: Beat Around The Bench Podcast
Rating
5from
This podcast has
142 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
Colton, Jess and RossExplicit
No
Date created
2023/04/06
Latest episode
2026/04/10
Average duration
91 min.
Release period
10 days
Description
This is a maker's Podcast about woodworking, good times and general Jack-Assery. The story of these three dates back to WorkBenchCon 2023 where they met and quickly became bestest friends. Since then, their trials and tribulations have been on display on this very Podcast. Jess hails from Tampa Bay, FL and has been a carpenter for over 15 years. (@Jess_BuildIt) Colton calls Houston, TX home. He makes custom cornhole boards (@ColtCrit) Ross comes from Chicago, IL. He makes custom furniture (@RandCDesigns) #woodworking #makers #furniture #carpentry #jackassery #goodtimes #woodwork
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Check latest episodes from Beat Around The Bench Podcast podcast
Ep 140: Everybody Loves Redwood
2026/04/10
The episode kicks off with Ross revealing he is a devoted fan of Phil Rosenthal, the creator of Everybody Loves Raymond, who now hosts a food travel show on Netflix called Somebody Feed Phil. Ross has personally visited around 15 of the restaurants the show featured, which is either very impressive or the most expensive hobby a woodworking podcast host has ever admitted to on air. Jess loves the show too, mostly because she cannot figure out how the man stays thin eating like that. Ross explains Phil only takes a bite and hands the rest to the crew, which is the most polite thing anyone has ever done at a Michelin-starred restaurant and a taco truck back to back.
From there the three of them do what any group of close friends does when the mics are hot and nobody has stopped them, which is spend a solid chunk of time ranking summer fruit. Jess is pushing enormous Walmart grapes nearly two inches across that basically look like plums. Colton is a mango guy who cuts them like an avocado and eats them off the grid. Ross wants dark plums all the way through, loves end-of-summer strawberries and Georgia peaches but peels them because the fuzz is a dealbreaker. Jess eats the entire kiwi including the skin. Ross does not like watermelon. This is treated as breaking news.
The real meat of the episode is Colton's deck. He wants to build a 38-foot wide covered back deck on his 1945 farmhouse and came with some ideas, some of which were fine and some of which made Jess say the words "way too thin" with an energy suggesting Colton had proposed framing an aircraft carrier with toothpicks. Two-by-sixes for the floor joists are out. Minimum two-by-tens, go with twelves if spanning 16 feet, and nobody uses four-by-four posts to hold up a roof at 12-foot height unless they enjoy watching things bow slowly over time. Jess advocates hard for at least a 24-inch roof overhang to protect the deck from sun damage, which apparently kills wood faster than water does. The pressure-treated lumber debate gets thorough, covering ground contact versus outdoor rated, copper-based treatments, and whether you need to seal every cut end. Ross strongly recommends filming all of it because outdoor build content crushes every other category on YouTube and TikTok and Colton is leaving serious views on the table.
The back half belongs to a trivia game Jess built from scratch where every country has a national tree and most of them are trees these three have never heard of. Countries like Bhutan, Laos, Guyana, Botswana, and Papua New Guinea get their trees identified one by one while Ross and Colton guess the Janka hardness rating and are wrong almost every single time. African Blackwood from Tanzania sinks in water and was historically used as bearings on boats. Mopane from Zambia rates around 3000 Janka and will destroy your planer blades. The Marula tree from Mozambique produces fruit that ferments on the ground and has been documented getting elephants genuinely drunk. Frangipani from Laos rates under 500, which Jess describes as one you could fart on and dent it. The national food trivia woven in is equally unhinged, including larb from Laos, blood sausage with lingonberry jam from Estonia, and a Uruguayan dish Colton identifies from personal West Texas experience as requiring a full week of recovery after eating.
Ross closes with a nugget about threaded insert bolts for table bases, Colton finally committed to SketchUp and recommends the Sketchup Essentials YouTube channel, and Jess says use YouTube for every tool purchase decision you ever make and also just buy the good drill the first time.
Legal complaints go to Barone Barone Barone Barone Barone and Barone Legal Partners. Motto available upon request.
Beat Around the Bench is a woodworking, DIY, and general nonsense podcast hosted by Jess of Jess Build It, Colton of Cold Crit, and Ross of R&C Woodworking and Designs. Find them on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and Patreon.
Ep 139: Two and a Half Maples
2026/04/03
Ross is back. Jess is missing in action. And it was almost the shortest episode in Beat Around the Bench history because a tornado showed up and tried to end the whole thing early.
That is not an exaggeration.
But before nature launched its attack, Ross dropped a full debrief from his trip to London and Edinburgh and it is everything you want it to be. The man walked through 800 year old doorways. He stood inside Edinburgh Castle where actual kings and queens watched woodwork get installed that is still standing six centuries later. He described Gothic white oak carvings so intricate and so clean that Scottish carvers were literally shipped across the Atlantic to build out the lobbies of major buildings in New York and Chicago during the roaring twenties and that work is still up today without a single seam coming apart. Ross looked at it as a woodworker and said it would take him 30 years to get to the skill level of someone who was only five years into their apprenticeship.
Meanwhile Colton jumped on a coat rack he built to prove Jess wrong about whether it would hold and it snapped immediately. So that is where we are.
The episode also hits hard on food. Ross broke down haggis poppers flash fried and dipped in jalapeño stone ground mustard at a bar in Edinburgh. He ate lamb shank at a Greek restaurant in London where they told him to put down his fork and just use his hands. He found beignets at a Paris based bakery called Paul that were so good he had to stop himself from eating a dozen. He also confirmed that the sandwich culture in London is basically non existent which was genuinely distressing for a man who would eat sandwiches at every meal if nobody stopped him. The Sensational Sandwiches meetup did not happen by the way because Frazier was in Paris running a marathon and forgot to check his phone. So that chapter stays open.
Back in the shop Colton ran through SharkBite push connect plumbing fittings and how he added a water spigot to the front of his house in about an hour by crawling under a pier and beam foundation with 14 bucks worth of parts and zero special tools. Ross dropped a Harbor Freight shutoff quick connect that lets you swap air tools without losing pressure and without launching anything across your shop at dangerous velocity. Colton gave Ace Hardware its flowers for specialty hardware bolts plus the legendary old guy named Greg who has been doing plumbing and electrical for 45 years and just works there because he likes it.
And then the tornado warning hit. Ross had to shelter in place and the episode ended faster than a bull rider getting thrown in the first two seconds.
This is Beat Around the Bench. Episode 139. Two and a Half Maples. Follow the show everywhere and keep Jess and Colton honest while Ross digs out from under the weather.
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Ep 138: The Walking Deadwood
2026/03/20
One man is sick. Actually scratch that. One man is completely destroyed. Colton showed up to record this podcast after a week that included a Creed concert, a karaoke night, felling trees across his yard, and what he describes as looking, feeling, and sounding like hammer dog you-know-what. And yet here he is. A true hero of the craft.
But before the sawdust flies, the crew does what they always do first and they talk food. Specifically sandwiches. Ross is heading to London and has a mission to personally visit the Sensational Sandwiches shop and hand deliver Beat Around the Bench stickers to the man himself. The debate over the greatest sandwich meat of all time gets heated. Colton goes Cajun turkey. Jess goes Reuben on marble rye pressed like a panini in a George Foreman. Ross drops the truth bomb that nobody asked for but everybody needed. Salami. Salami is the answer. Throw it on anything. It just works.
Then the show pivots hard into the shop. Ross has a customer table in crisis and the breadboard ends are warping like a propeller because Chicago winters pull indoor humidity down to six percent and the wood is screaming for mercy. Jess and Colton walk him through his options. Cut it. Seal it. Rubio it. Ceramic coat it. Accept that wood moves because wood has always moved and wood will always move. This is woodworking. These are the stakes.
Then things get really dangerous because Jess rolls out a 25 question lightning round trivia challenge and the rules are brutal. Eight seconds to answer. Five hundred BATB bucks if you are right. Minus five hundred if you are wrong. Questions fly faster than sawdust off a drum sander. Pine. Plumb bob. Dovetail. Bandsaw. Kiln dried. Ipe. The adze. And the final boss question that neither man could answer. The word is chatoyance. It is a French term for cat's eye and it describes that shimmering three dimensional figure you see in curly maple and sapele when the light hits it just right. Use it with your customers. They will never question your credibility again.
The crew wraps it out with three heavy hitting nuggets. Jess swears by the framer rig suspender tool belt that changed his life on the jobsite. Colton puts the Woodworkers Companion app on the radar tipped off by patron Greg at Platte Valley Woodworks. It is free and does quoting, invoicing, wood movement calculations, and customer management all in one place. And Ross drops the truth about surviving slow seasons. Find the easy job. Clear coating guitars for an artist. Three hundred bucks. Done. Keep that tap running even when the big projects dry up.
This is Beat Around the Bench. Episode 138. The Walking Deadwood. Go follow the podcast wherever you listen and if you need someone to keep Jess and Colton accountable while Ross is eating sandwiches in Scotland, that responsibility falls on you.
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Ep 137: The Birch And The Beautiful
2026/03/13
Season four keeps rolling and the boys are back with another episode that somehow manages to cover hot dogs, diesel engine engineering, sharpening stone philosophy, wood trivia, and a legitimate debate about whether you should own a tow strap before they wrap things up just over an hour.
The episode opens with everyone sharing their go-to hot dog order. Ross goes full Chicago style — poppy seed bun, Vienna beef, mustard, celery salt, neon green relish, tomato, pickle spear, and sport peppers — and just mustard when life gets busy. Colton is firmly in the bratwurst with kraut and dark mustard camp. Jess goes jalapeño cheddar brat with mayo, chili, cheese, and sauerkraut all at once, which Ross politely refuses to be in a truck with afterwards. Honorable mention goes to the Costco hot dog at a dollar fifty.
Jess then lays out a full diesel engine situation with his new truck — specifically the known CP4 high pressure fuel pump issue on 6.7 liter Power Stroke engines that can fail and send metal flakes through the entire fuel injection system, turning a pump replacement into a fifteen thousand dollar problem. He walks through the disaster prevention kit option and the upgraded SS Diesel pump solution. Ross and Colton weigh in on Harbor Freight's shifting tool strategy, including why the Pittsburgh line selection is shrinking while the Icon tools get pricier and whether Amazon is quietly eating their single-item sales.
The sharpening stone conversation that follows is genuinely useful — diamond plates versus water stones, why stones are actually less aggressive and let you skip grits more easily, and how a simple triangular knife sharpening kit from Harbor Freight can live in your packout kit for onsite honing without taking up any real space.
Trivia picks up where episode 136 left off, covering quarter sawing and why it matters for zebra wood and quilted maple, what tool the chainsaw replaced, what kerf means, dovetail and mortise and tenon joints, why white oak was used in shipbuilding, the South American hardwood Ipe that sinks in water, what the pith of a tree is and why it cracks, and the wood lathe as the machine that transformed furniture production. The sudden death finale comes down to a self lubricating wood used in submarine propeller shaft bearings whose name literally means wood of life. Ross correctly answers Lignum Vitae, doubles his wager, and takes a commanding season lead.
The snugits close things out strong. Jess recommends putting a quality diesel fuel additive in every tank fill rather than waiting for problems, and mentions that some additive companies will also test your oil or fuel sample for metal content if you want a real read on engine health. Ross makes the case for always keeping a 90 degree drill offset in your go bag after learning the hard way when picking up an old table build at a customer's house. Colton echoes the advice and adds that this is one tool you should not go cheap on — the Milwaukee version being the one that finally held up after a string of broken budget ones. Colton also wraps with a tow strap recommendation after watching a fully loaded diesel generator truck get stuck at a rodeo job site and needing a forty ton tractor to pull it out.
Find more at BeatAroundTheBench.com
Tags: woodworking podcast, Beat Around the Bench, season four, diesel truck maintenance, CP4 fuel pump, Harbor Freight tools, sharpening stones versus diamond plates, wood trivia, quarter sawn lumber, Ipe decking, Lignum Vitae, woodworking packout kit, 90 degree drill offset, tow strap truck kit, woodworking podcast 2025, JessBuildIt, ColdCrit, RNC Woodworking
Ep 136: Desperate Hardwoods
2026/03/06
Season four is officially here and the guys are kicking things off in the best way they know how — a little food talk, a lot of woodworking problem solving, a full round of rapid fire trivia, and some genuinely useful shop and business tips sprinkled in for good measure.
The guys open with the new season four title theme, which is TV show names, and they could not have picked a better opener than Desperate Hardwoods. Things get comfortable fast with a crockpot recipe conversation that includes Ross pulling up his bourbon bacon baked beans recipe live on the podcast, Colton reminiscing about bachelor cooking survival mode, and Jess drawing a hard line in the sand against baked beans entirely. The white chicken chili and buffalo chicken dip crowd will feel very seen.
The real meat of the episode is a full woodworking consult where Jess walks Ross and Colton through a seriously complex ten foot soft maple table build with serpentine ends, tapered angled legs that kick out one degree in both directions, and the question of how to get the aprons to land cleanly against a conical leg. Ross comes in with the key insight of scribing and notching into the back of the leg rather than trying to shape the apron to meet it, which Jess admits he never would have thought of on his own. There is also a solid conversation about internal cross bracing strategy for a table that long, and why notching and interlocking beats pocket screws every single time.
After the build talk the guys cover the Graco Ultra QuickShot airless sprayer. It runs on a standard Dewalt battery, barely drinks power on a full day of spraying cabinet enamel, and the low pressure tips mean almost no overspray. Ross also explains the grounding wire mystery, which has everything to do with static discharge.
Then it is trivia time covering questions from previous episodes including what hardwood baseball bats are traditionally made from, what MDF stands for, the Japanese wood charring technique Shou Sugi Ban, and what Lignin actually is and why it matters for steam bending. Colton takes the season win at 25,902 to Ross at 23,099. The circular saw inventor Tabitha Babbitt gets her moment, invasive buckthorn turns out to be workable hardwood, and the African wood Iroko somehow leads to a Woody Allen detour nobody was ready for.
The snugits at the end are worth sticking around for. Jess breaks down BannerBuzz.com for vehicle decals, sharing how he wrapped his dumpsters for around twelve hundred dollars with full color outdoor graphics that would have run six thousand through a traditional sign shop. Colton makes the case for carrying two mechanical pencils with different lead widths in your apron. Ross rounds it out with the FastCap Pro Carpenter tape measure, which has a built in pencil sharpener and a dry erase side panel for writing measurements before you lose them walking back to the saw.
Season four is off to a strong start. New episodes, shorter run times, and the same three guys who clearly enjoy giving each other a hard time while actually knowing what they are talking about.
Find more at BeatAroundTheBench.com and follow Jess, Colton, and Ross on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok.
Tags: woodworking podcast, Beat Around the Bench, season four, serpentine table build, tapered table legs, soft maple table, @Graco QuickShot sprayer, Shou Sugi Ban, Janka hardness rating, woodworking trivia, BannerBuzz decals, FastCap tape measure, woodworking tips, furniture building, woodworking podcast 2025, JessBuildIt, ColtCrit, R&C Woodworking
Ep 135: Holly N' Oates
2026/02/27
Season 3 Finale - Ross and Colton hold it down while Jess recovers
Stadium Food Debate
Ross kicks things off asking what you have to eat every time you walk into an arena - sparked by the legendary Costco hot dog at a buck fiftyColton goes giant beer first, then a thick hot dog with relish and the brownest spicy mustard he can findRoss makes the case for the Chicago dog - Vienna beef, poppy seed bun, neon green relish, tomato, dill pickle spear, sport peppers, and celery salt - never ketchupThe guys plan to attempt the 9-9-9 challenge together at a Cubs vs Astros game - nine hot dogs, nine 16-ounce beers, nine inningsColton won a spicy wings challenge at a sports bar, turned down the milk at the end and called for a tequila shot instead, paid for it the next dayRoss failed a 4-pound burger challenge at his brothers rehearsal dinner after eating two full baskets of appetizers beforehandRandom Jackassery Questions
Worst nicknames - Colton got Hagler in middle school, Ross got Ross the Bus and Buddha at sports camp as a kidMost useless talent - Colton eats entire apples core and all, Ross fires off random facts nobody asked for including the tapirs three-headed anatomyPersonal chef vs chauffeur - both pick the chef, Colton wants to watch the knife work and learn the seasoning combinationsColtons Year in Review
Since last WorkbenchCon Colton left his job, had daughter Charlie, moved to two acres outside Houston, and is now a full-time stay-at-home dadComing up on a year sober - went to four weddings without drinking and almost nobody noticedCold Crate is on pause while the shop gets built but a big commission quote is close to going out the doorThe Honest State of Custom Making in 2025
Middle tier custom furniture is nearly impossible to compete in when your raw material cost alone exceeds what the overseas finished product sells forThe clients worth targeting are the ones who want something that does not exist on Wayfair and already understand they are paying a premium for itRoss pivoted to real estate agents and interior designers during the housing boom but that pipeline has slowed down hardRepair and restoration is picking up as people choose to extend what they have rather than replace itAI tools like Riverside are making production quality content easier to produce and both guys believe maker content creation is still worth the grind if you have something real to sayYard Chaos and a Useful Discovery
Colton used a tractor as a giant leaf wheelbarrow which went fine until the ground started feeling like quicksand under their feetStabbed the soft spots with a pickaxe expecting a busted line, nothing came out, likely just ground compression from repeated tractor passesRoss recommends a sod roller - fills with water, hooks to any riding mower, flattens ruts and soft spots - cheap to rent at Home DepotHousekeeping and Season Four
This is the official end of Season 3 - wrapping up since WorkbenchCon is not happening this year for the first time since the show launchedAll deep cut segments are now on beataroundthebench.com in their own sectionWelcome to new Patreon member Tony from Tonys Woodworkx in HoustonUse code BATB at mullettools.com for 5 percent off dust collection gearSeason 4 kicks off in March - send in your suggestions for the new episode naming theme
Ep 134: Florida Georgia Pine
2026/02/20
The Boys bring the usual chaos and somehow still manage to drop serious value along the way.
The guys kick things off debating which foods deserve to be wiped off the planet forever. Colton goes after applesauce for texture crimes, Ross makes a passionate case against cottage cheese calling it lumpy almost-spoiled milk, and Jess wants yellow squash gone for good. Ross also throws shade at mushrooms and beets noting they both taste like dirt no matter what you do with them, even while acknowledging that mushrooms literally run the communication network of forests. The whole thing is exactly as ridiculous and fun as it sounds.
On the project side Jess is launching Dills Dumpsters, a new side business he is standing up alongside his trim carpentry work. He walks through the logistics of running two trucks, getting his father-in-law set up as a subcontractor through a company they named D&D Exploration and Cattle Corp after a Landman episode, and why your Google business page matters more than almost anything when you are starting a local service company.
Colton has a new woodworking commission coming in from a rodeo connection designing a custom house. He is cutting decorative alder corbels for two-story exposed beams and adding custom cabinet doors with a relief cut of his clients personal tattoo design. The guys get into real detail on how to attach corbels to plaster walls, the right grain direction for corbels, and why one big long screw plus a plugged hole is often the cleanest solution.
The deep cut this episode is the history of tattoos and piercings as a skilled trade. Jess makes the case that tattooing and piercing are the oldest human crafts in existence, predating written language and trade guilds, showing up independently across ancient Egypt, Asia, South America, and Europe. They cover the evolution of tattoo styles from Polynesian influence on American traditional sailor tattoos to Japanese Irazumi to trash polka, touch on why implant grade titanium is the industry standard for piercing jewelry, and drop the wild fact that New York City banned tattoos all the way until 1997.
Ross shares his nugget on how he scored an $8500 Samsung smart fridge for $3150 by negotiating the floor model price, a scratch and dent discount, and a free delivery fee. The fridge has a built-in camera that lets you check your groceries from the store, suggests recipes based on whats inside, and even tracks expiration dates. The guys also break down why Guitar Center during the week is one of the best places to haggle.
Jess rounds things out with a practical stair building nugget on how to accurately measure and cut newel post heights using the stair rake method, flipping your post upside down and running a board across the nose of each step to get a consistent reference line regardless of uneven step heights.
Season four kicks off the first week of March and the guys still need listener submissions for the new episode naming theme. Hit like and subscribe wherever you listen and send those ideas in.
Ep 133: Elm Class Heroes
2026/02/06
In this episode Ross does a Deep Dive into all things AI Related for makers and content creators.
In this week’s episode we Dive deep into AI
Colton adds lime to his fajitasJess asks where does all of the time go?Ross takes us on a wild AI adventure.
Ep 132: A Flock Of Sassafras
2026/01/30
Good morning ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking and welcome aboard Beat Around the Bench Airlines flight 132 with nonstop service to Sassafras Country. Were cruising at an altitude of pure woodworking knowledge with your flight crew Jess Colton and Ross. Flight time today covers espresso machines hand tool techniques cutting board construction and sassafras wood discussion. Seatbelts fastened dust masks in upright position as we prepare for departure.
First up on beverage service were talking coffee and espresso. Colton got himself an espresso machine for Christmas brewing cappuccinos every morning. Two ounces espresso two ounces steamed milk foam on top ready to tackle the table saw. The crew discusses lattes versus cappuccinos how a latte is basically a milkshake with caffeine. Ross drops knowledge about Cuban cafecito fifty fifty cane sugar to espresso hits harder than a belt sander on walnut. He switched to Americanos with four shots of espresso diluted with water. Jess built a whole coffee bar with pot filler and Torani syrup pumps on a spinning acacia wood holder.
Reaching cruising altitude the boys dive into shop projects. Jess working on his massive cabinet build hand cutting dados and grooves. Coltons building cutting boards with his daughter teaching wood selection grain patterns proper glue ups. Father daughter woodworking time is the best shop time. He picked up black walnut comparing grain patterns density and working properties.
Main destination is sassafras wood discussion. This aromatic hardwood grows across eastern United States with unique characteristics for woodworkers. Distinctive smell like root beer because sassafras root was used to make root beer before FDA involvement. Relatively soft for hardwood works easily with hand tools and power tools takes finish beautifully. Color ranges from pale yellow sapwood to orange brown heartwood. Not dense as oak or maple but character makes beautiful furniture relatively affordable compared to exotic hardwoods.
Woodworkers discuss sourcing sassafras finding local sawmills best applications for underutilized species. Outdoor furniture boxes small decorative pieces all work with sassafras. Naturally rot resistant great for weather exposure projects.
Tool talk includes hand planes chisels marking gauges vintage versus modern production debate. Proper tool maintenance sharpening techniques buying quality tools once beats buying cheap tools three times. Jess shares wisdom about setting up hand planes correctly because poorly tuned plane is expensive paperweight.
Finishing discussion gets deep when Ross runs out of Halcyon mid spray. Calculate finish needs before starting because running dry halfway through a coat is turbulence over Rockies. He compares oil based versus water based polyurethane cleanup differences grain raising properties why oil based leaves richer tone. Application techniques spray versus brush proper ventilation non negotiable.
Ross brings AI automation knowledge implementing workflow automation for spirits sales territory. Chat bots lead generation systems Facebook auto responders. Technology moves faster than jet stream wind what you learn today outdated in three months but gotta start somewhere. Knowledge is power whether hand tool techniques or digital automation.
Safety nuggets include proper dust collection setup tool maintenance calculating finish quantities teaching next generation of woodworkers investing in future of craft.
Beginning descent now catch that Mullet Tools discount code BATB for five percent off at mullettools.com because quality dust collection accessories matter.
This has been Beat Around the Bench flight 132 where coffee is strong wood smells like root beer knowledge flows smoother than freshly planed sassafras. Thank you for flying with us remember to like subscribe and share this podcast. On behalf of entire flight crew we hope you enjoyed your journey see you on the next flight.
Ep 131: Blue Osage Cult
2026/01/23
STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS FOR EPISODE 131 OF BEAT AROUND THE BENCH
Thats right ladies and gentlemen we got your hosts Jess Colton and Ross serving up the finest woodworking podcast this side of the Mississippi and theyre diving deep into Osage orange wood like you never heard before. Blue Osage Cult baby because nothing says rock and roll like dense hardwood that weighs more than your anvil.
You want vegetables with that? Course you do. These boys are talking broccoli preparation brussels sprouts cooked in bacon grease with pancetta and balsamic glaze sweet potatoes done up right and grilled asparagus that pairs perfect with a thick steak. Pro tip right here folks soak them brussels sprouts in cold salt water first gets rid of all that bitterness. Hot honey red pepper flakes lemon butter you name it theyre covering it all while the saw dust flies.
But wait theres more. Jess is building drawers for his big cabinet project using hand tools because sometimes you just gotta feel that wood under your fingers. Coltons got himself a Veritas dovetail saw and hes singing its praises louder than a Saturday night gospel choir. Tool reviews dont get better than this woodworking friends.
Now heres where it gets wild. Osage orange wood discussion that goes on longer than a Thanksgiving dinner argument. This woods got more nicknames than a career criminal hedge apple bodark monkey brain horse apple you name it. Native to Texas Arkansas Oklahoma but now its growing everywhere from New York to Nebraska. The wood itself is orange as a sunset denser than a brick harder than saying no to free pizza and itll dull your tools faster than you can say Blue Oyster Cult.
They talk sourcing this legendary lumber where to find it how to work it why your planer blades are crying. Jess shares his Osage experience Colton drops knowledge about wood movement and Ross keeps the whole show rolling smoother than a freshly waxed table saw top.
You get shop safety nuggets too because nearly getting brained by falling PVC dust collection pipes aint no joke. Ross almost caught his death when his dust collection system decided gravity was still a thing. The fix? Drive screws through those PVC joints folks. Tape aint enough when you got ten feet of six inch pipe hanging over your dome.
Dust collection talk runs deep with tips on magnets to catch metal shavings before they spark up your whole operation static electricity problems and the eternal struggle of keeping that shop air clean while youre making fine furniture.
Workshop wisdom flows like cheap beer at a county fair. Take your time on joinery layout. Check your dust collection rigging regular. Ground your system if the static is driving you bonkers. Get yourself a Sams Club MasterCard for that 5 percent cash back on gas if youre hauling lumber around.
Tool talk includes Rockler boom arms for dust collection benchtop planers that sound like angry hornets festool products that cost more than some folks cars and the eternal debate about which tools are worth the investment versus which ones are just pretty to look at in the catalog.
These three woodworkers keep it real keep it funny and keep the knowledge flowing faster than sawdust through a cyclone separator. From vegetable cooking tips to exotic hardwood properties from hand tool techniques to power tool reviews its all here in one spectacular episode.
The chemistry between hosts is tighter than a well cut dovetail joint. They joke they teach they share war stories from the workshop trenches and they remind everyone that woodworking is supposed to be fun even when youre wrestling with wood that fights back harder than Osage orange on a bad day.
So tune in subscribe share it with your woodworking buddies and whatever you do dont fear the reaper when that Osage orange dust starts flying. This is Beat Around the Bench Episode 131 where the wood is hard the laughs are easy and the knowledge is free for the taking.
Ep 130: Barenaked Larch
2026/01/16
Episode 130 Barenaked Larch - A Critical Review
★★★★½
What a remarkable evening at the podcast theater! This latest production from the Beat Around the Bench ensemble masterfully blends botanical education with culinary discourse while maintaining an absurdist comedy undercurrent that would make Beckett weep into his sawdust.
The opening act establishes dramatic tension with a philosophical inquiry into larch itself, revealing it as a deciduous conifer that bears cones yet sheds its needles in autumn. When Jess delivers his deadpan observation that his toenails do that sometimes, we enter a surrealist landscape where arboreal discourse and podiatric confessions occupy the same philosophical plane.
Colton's avant-garde performance piece involving sweet potato coins, smash burgers and burger sauce on tortillas represents culinary rebellion against conventional wrapping methodology. His monologue about toasting the burrito itself on the griddle demonstrates a character who dares to ask what if the vessel itself could be transformed. Revolutionary theater at its finest.
The centerpiece is Ross's extended soliloquy on the Milwaukee cordless paint sprayer, a meditation on technology and man's relationship with his tools. His passionate discourse on belt-mounted reservoirs and battery technology transforms product placement into Shakespearean examination. When he laments cleaning nozzles, we feel Sisyphus pushing his boulder as paint residue clogs the mechanism of progress.
The Survivor Trees segment elevates the production to operatic heights. Jess's narration of the Callery pear surviving September 11th rubble transcends historical recitation, becoming a meditation on resilience and nature's indomitable spirit. His restrained yet powerful performance guides us through the emotional landscape with a master storyteller's steady hand.
The Dragon Blood Trees finale contemplates umbrella-shaped Socotra flora that exude crimson resin and practice passive water harvesting through fog capture. The technical dialogue about resin saturation demonstrates botanical accuracy that makes serious dramaturgs swoon.
Minor quibbles prevent five stars, the pacing occasionally meanders and extended technological silences could benefit from musical underscoring. Yet these are trifling concerns in an otherwise tour de force. The ensemble chemistry crackles with authentic camaraderie as Jess narrates, Ross philosophizes and Colton provides comic relief without descending into buffoonery.
In conclusion, Barenaked Larch represents everything we expect from these players, intellectual rigor wrapped in conversational ease, technical expertise without condescension and abiding love for woodworking and ancient trees. Essential listening for anyone who appreciates performance art asking big questions like can tortillas contain all things and is fifteen hundred dollars too much for a cordless paint sprayer.
The answer is decidedly complex, much like the larch itself.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED
Ep 129: Fountains of Wenge
2026/01/09
In a world where Staceys mom has got it going on and one hit wonders reign supreme the crew unleashes the ultimate debate about fake bands that never existed but rocked harder than reality itself from Matt Damons legendary Euro Trip performance of Scotty Doesnt Know to Tom Hanks timeless That Thing You Do these fictional musicians changed the game forever
Three men face their greatest challenge yet choosing their favorite pasta as Colton demands the heat with spicy Cajun linguine loaded with fat noodles while Ross drops culinary wisdom bombs about cacio de pepe the Italian street food legend made with Parmesan pepper and the mysterious power of pasta water that binds it all together
But nothing could prepare them for what came next as Jess reveals the gnocchi paradox where balls of potato meet lakes of heavy cream creating the most dangerously delicious carb bomb known to mankind with two to three cups of cream packing enough calories to power a small nation yet tasting like heaven itself
When the conversation turns dark the guys uncover the shocking truth about mac and cheese the American classic pasta that cannot be denied and Jess confesses his downfall is pasta in all forms whether fettuccine spaghetti or that legendary steak gorgonzola creation with rare beef that haunts his dreams
Then the ultimate plant trivia showdown explodes as Ross delivers mind blowing facts about the indestructible Ginkgo tree that survived ground zero of the atomic bomb in Hiroshima withstanding 300000 degrees Celsius when the surface of the sun only reaches 6000 degrees proving this ancient species laughs in the face of nuclear annihilation
The legends continue with tales of the Sycamore Gap tree from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves standing for centuries in England until vandals nearly destroyed it two years ago threatening a landmark that witnessed history itself and the mysterious Methuselah bristlecone pine hidden somewhere in California whose location is kept secret to protect the oldest living organism on Earth
Witness the revelation that General Sherman the giant sequoia was once believed to be the oldest tree alive until scientists discovered an even more ancient survivor and decided humanity cannot be trusted with GPS coordinates because people ruin everything beautiful
The tension builds as the crew explores heart rot fungal infections and the brutal reality of compartmentalization where trees wage silent wars against disease building barriers within themselves to survive the centuries while lesser organisms perish in seasons
But the biggest mystery remains unanswered as they discuss parthogenesis cambia dormancy cycles and the eternal question of why horse chestnuts exist when crabapples are already a thing and whether trees remember the ice age through their cellular memory passed down through millennia
Coming this week to your podcast feed where the pasta flows freely the trees are immortal and Staceys mom still has it going on this is Beat Around the Bench Episode 129 where woodworking meets ancient botanical warfare and nobody leaves without learning something they never knew they needed to know
Ep 128: Bowling For Spruce
2025/12/19
Jess makes his triumphant return after an amazing Puerto Rico vacation where he spent days laying by the pool eating taking naps and exploring the islands and he worked until 745 PM then drove an hour to make it to the podcast recording because he is a true champion
The crew dives into Puerto Rico real estate opportunities where Jess discovered you can live in downtown San Juan for just a thousand bucks a month in a two story apartment or buy one and rent the bottom to a business while living upstairs which is perfect for anyone with a remote work job
Christmas food traditions take center stage as the guys share their favorites with Jess revealing his massive cookie baking operation that went through 28 sticks of butter 10 pounds of sugar 8 pounds of brown sugar and 15 pounds of flour plus making 550 Ritz cracker peanut butter sandwiches dipped in chocolate almond bark to give out to everyone
Colton shares his family tradition of chicken fried venison backstrap with his mom's signature dark gravy that she makes from all the cooking drippings and it is tenderized and breaded perfectly with just the right amount of salt making it his mom's most iconic meal
Ross talks about his aunt's roast beef and Yorkshire pudding which is a traditional English meal that she only makes once a year on Christmas day because it is more difficult to prepare than you would think but it means Christmas to him since Yorkshire pudding is like a thick pita that is sweet and buttery like a crepe
The conversation touches on Starlink being an option for remote work in places like Belize where Colton tried to record from Cory and Larry's place but the WiFi was too shoddy though apparently that has been fixed now so maybe they can actually work from there
Ross drops essential washing machine maintenance knowledge about spraying bleach on the gasket and leaving it to dry which eliminates mold and bacteria plus using special fresh tablets that dissolve pet hair every two weeks so it can flush out of the filters instead of building up with bacteria
The crew discusses how harsh chemicals can eat hair without messing up clothes and Jess explains that lye is basically what super drain cleaner is made of since it eats anything organic which is why it works so well on clogs
Jess delivers an incredibly detailed hot water heater repair tutorial explaining that most tanks have two heating elements and you can check the wattage on the side sticker then turn off the 220 power drain the tank through the garden hose connection at the bottom and flip the pressure release valve to speed up draining
The hot water heater lesson continues with Jess explaining how to identify broken heating elements that have breaks in them which means the circuit is no longer complete so only one tank heats or nothing heats at all and you can replace these for just 18 to 30 dollars instead of paying hundreds for a plumber
Jess shares his multiple trips to Home Depot saga trying to fix a leaking 1970s shutoff valve that was soldered in and discovering it works just like a water hose spigot with a nut under the handle that tightens a rubber gasket around the shaft which he was able to clean up and tighten instead of replacing
Ep 127: Koa & The Gang
2025/12/12
The crew welcomes special guest Lee Dumond from Busted Knuckle Woodworks who is recording from his incredibly organized shop in Austin Texas and is about to hit the magical 100,000 subscriber milestone on YouTube after three years of grinding which means he will finally get that silver play button
Lee drops some serious knowledge about why hitting 100K on YouTube is actually meaningful because the verification checkmark you get is literally the only checkmark left on social media that you cannot buy since Twitter Instagram Facebook and Meta all sell verification for just 10 bucks a month making YouTube verification an actual achievement you have to earn
The conversation dives into Lee's background building outdoor furniture in Texas where it is sunny 300 days a year compared to his Maine upbringing which only has three months of summer and nine months of poor sledding and how outdoor furniture was extremely lucrative because people in Texas spend so much time outside
Lee shares his powerful story about getting cancer and going through chemo and radiation which made it impossible to lift the heavy materials needed for building arbors and pergolas so he pivoted to creating smaller projects like jewelry boxes and bandsaw boxes as a creative outlet during treatment
The YouTube journey started when Lee spread out all his bandsaw boxes on his table and set up a camera to talk about how he made each one including the wood types and finishes and that single video sparked his entire channel growth over the past three years
Ross reveals that his top three performing YouTube videos are all outdoor furniture builds including a simple outdoor bench that has gotten insane views proving that outdoor furniture content performs incredibly well on the platform even for small channels
Lee explains that his SawStop actually saved his hand from a table saw kickback incident where a piece of cedar smashed into his knuckles which is how he came up with the name Busted Knuckle Woodworks and he keeps the brake cartridge disk of shame displayed in his shop
The discussion touches on Lee's unique lifestyle living part-time in Paris France and how he creates casual Patreon content about random topics like American fast food in Paris while just sitting at his table saw or walking around the shop talking about whatever is on his mind
Lee shares his incredible quote that winners want feedback while losers want praise explaining that honest feedback is the most valuable thing you can get in any endeavor and when someone tells him his video sucked instead of praising it that person becomes way more valuable to him
The crew mentions that Lee has been on four podcasts now since WorkbenchCon where he met Alex Duffy who made it his mission to get Lee on podcasts after learning Lee had been a podcast host but never a guest and now he has over 1800 Patreon members supporting his work
Ross announces a special 15 percent discount code BATB15% for Gearhart Industry custom branding irons that works for the rest of the year whether you need branding irons for food leather furniture or any other custom branding project
Ep 126: Alanis Mortise-Set
2025/11/28
The guys agree that Alanis Mortise Set might be the best episode title so far and kick off Thanksgiving week with Colton already up in Tioga at his in laws place chopping wood and doing horse stuff while Jess is staying local because they have a big trip planned for early December
Ross reveals his Thanksgiving menu game is next level with a 12 to 14 hour Cajun smoked turkey using mesquite wood and injecting flavor underneath the skin like turkey Botox plus a 14 pound brisket and he shares his third favorite which is Greek style lamb roast that requires cross hatching the meat and shoving whole garlic cloves down into the skin
The crew dives deep into the perfect lamb preparation technique which involves covering the entire roast in olive oil and rosemary then slow cooking at 180 to 200 degrees for 10 hours before kicking it up to 250 for the final two hours and Ross explains you have to put it in the night before to get that perfect fall off the bone texture
This episode delivers the promised Deep Cut hair trivia segment covering everything from barbers being the original multi tool professionals to beards representing power fashion and rebellion throughout history plus mustaches going through their own eras with styles like the handlebar walrus Fu Manchu chevron and that pencil thin villain look
The guys drop some incredible mustache facts including that Tom Selleck had his signature Magnum PI mustache insured for over a million dollars and he was originally discovered as the Marlboro man before becoming a Hollywood icon which explains his rugged look
They reveal that Salvador Dali famously stiffened his pencil thin mustache with shellac and waxed it vertically to impossible angles creating his trademark surrealist look and the word mustache actually comes from the Greek word mystax which translates to lip bristle or upper lip hair
Colton shares a story about dressing up as Tom Selleck for Halloween which is when his wife Crystal fell in love with him and there is apparently a secret bar in Houston called the handlebar with Tom Selleck pictures all over the walls constantly playing his movies on the TVs
Jess launches into a passionate snipe about Home Depot trailer parking spots being taken by regular vehicles when contractors with actual trailers need them and he cannot understand why Home Depot does not enforce the rules better especially since there are literally a thousand other parking spots available
The conversation shifts to practical shop knowledge with Jess explaining the three four five rule for squaring corners using basic trigonometry where you measure three feet one way four feet the other way and if the diagonal between those points is exactly five feet then you have a perfect 90 degree corner
Ross shares two essential home maintenance nuggets including using SharkBite fittings for copper pipe connections which plumbers might not love but work great for amateur DIYers and the importance of updating old fixtures like shutoff valves and gas line connections when you have appliances pulled out since his 1976 original connections were causing water damage
Podcast reviews
Read Beat Around The Bench Podcast podcast reviews
D. Hoosier 2024/01/29
The best woodworking podcast ever!
I listen to this at my shop where I work and I just love all the information. Colton is my favorite 😂He makes me laugh with his descriptions of whisk...
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