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ADHD Mums

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Rating
★★★★☆
4.2
from
6 reviews
This podcast has
245 episodes
Language
English
Publisher
Jane McFadden
Explicit
No
Date created
2023/05/08
Latest episode
2026/02/04
Average duration
15 min.
Release period
4 days

Description

Being a mum is hard enough. Being a mum with ADHD — or raising neurodivergent kids is a whole different level. ADHD Mums is the unfiltered, science-meets-reality podcast hosted by Jane McFadden, educational neuroscientist, advocate, and mother of three. This isn’t another polished parenting show with 'ten easy tips.' It’s real stories, confessions we’re not supposed to say out loud, and the research that explains why so many of us are running on empty. Every week you’ll hear: 🎙️ Confessions — raw, anonymous truths from mums navigating rage, burnout, and survival. 🧠 Expert insights — from neuroscientists, clinicians, and policy leaders on ADHD, autism, and mental health. 💬 Advocacy in action — exposing ADHD medication shortages, NDIS red tape, and the hidden costs mothers carry. With over 1 million downloads already tuning in from across the world, the podcast has already influenced ADHD reforms in Australia, been featured in national media, and pushed politicians to answer the questions mothers are asking. If you’ve ever screamed in the car, forgotten every form until the night before, or wondered if you’re the only one falling apart — this podcast is your proof that you’re not broken, you’re just telling the truth.

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Check latest episodes from ADHD Mums podcast


Why Does My Partner Keep Asking Me Questions When My Brain Is Full?
2026/02/04
This episode is for ADHD mums who feel their nervous system spike over questions that look harmless on the surface. The kind of questions that arrive when the brain is already full, already tracking consequences, already holding the household together. What’s commonly said is that this is about tone, patience, or communication. What actually happens is that one brain becomes the default place where uncertainty is dropped, again and again, until even small interruptions start to hurt. The moment is familiar. A partner asks about milk, school times, or whether it’s ‘okay’ to do something. The question isn’t urgent. It isn’t unreasonable. But it lands as work. Not because the mum is controlling or irritable, but because her brain is already running the system. This episode names what that interruption really costs, and why it keeps getting misread as an attitude problem instead of a capacity one. In This Episode, We Cover– How everyday questions quietly route responsibility to the same person – Why being ‘just asked’ is not neutral when one brain is already saturated – The social script that frames overload as impatience or moodiness – How certainty-seeking in one partner becomes burnout in the other – Why ADHD mums become the household search engine without consenting to the role – The cumulative cost of interruption, not the content of the question This Episode Is For You If– You snap at small questions and immediately feel guilty – You’re praised for being flexible while your capacity keeps shrinking – You notice that decisions default to you, even when others could decide – You dread interaction because it so often turns into another task – You’ve been told you’re overreacting when your body is already at its limit When this pattern stays unnamed, ADHD mums adapt quietly. They answer questions they shouldn’t have to answer. They decide things prematurely just to stop the interruption. They carry responsibility they never agreed to carry. Over time, the brain never gets to rest. It stays on duty, waiting for the next drop. What looks like a communication issue is often a structural one. When every uncertainty is routed through the same nervous system, exhaustion becomes inevitable. Naming that isn’t withdrawal. It’s a refusal to keep absorbing costs that were never meant to be individual. 📬 Listener Questions & Community Submit a Listener Question (anonymous option) If there’s something you want answered on the podcast, you can submit a question here — anonymously if you prefer. https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 Share Feedback or Topic Requests Have a topic you’d like covered, or feedback you want to pass on? You can send it through here. https://form.jotform.com/243189306607864 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmums
78. Grieving the Child You Imagined — While Loving the One in Front of You with Dr Vanessa LaPointe
2026/02/02
There is a kind of grief that mums are not supposed to name. It could be called ungrateful.. but a lot of us feel it. So it stays private, carried quietly while life keeps moving and decisions keep getting made. This episode sits with the grief of the unlived motherhood — the version of parenting that was imagined, planned for, and socially rewarded, and then slowly dismantled by reality. Not because the mum did anything wrong, but because parenting did not arrive as promised, and the cost of adjusting was absorbed almost entirely by her. In This Episode, We Cover – Realising the life you planned no longer fits – Changing schools, routines, and priorities without calling it loss – Supporting children while privately missing your old life – Being told to be grateful while something keeps breaking – Noticing the grief surface long after the decision is made – Carrying expectations that don’t match daily reality This Episode Is For You If – Mornings don’t look how you thought they would – Your days are built around needs you didn’t anticipate – You’ve adjusted plans more times than you can count – You support your family while missing parts of yourself – You’re functioning, but something feels quietly unfinished Related Episodes You Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now. https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/ Curated Related Links The Orchid and the Dandelion — Thomas Boyce https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25614459-the-orchid-and-the-dandelion Dr. Vanessa LaPointe — Official Website https://drvanessalapointe.com The Unlived Life of the Parent — Carl Jung (concept reference) https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201112/the-unlived-life The Work — Byron Katie https://thework.com This isn’t weakness. This is adaptation under pressure. Mums are doing impossible things every day — and still standing.
77. Turning the Car Around for the Hat — So It Must Be Me
2026/01/28
Responsibility’s already on me. If this tips, it’ll be because I waited too long. That’s how the morning starts. There’s a clock running. Shoes half on. Bags not where they should be. One kid slowing down, another winding up. Nothing’s happened yet, but the margin’s already thin. I step in early, before anyone else thinks it’s necessary, and it gets read straight away as 'being grumpy.' In This Episode, We CoverThe internal belief that responsibility defaults inward before the day beginsHow a single morning escalation under time pressure is interpreted differently by those around youWhat it’s like to step in early and have that read as impatience or controlThe moment intervention happens before anything has officially gone wrong This Episode Is For You IfMornings feel loaded before the first decision is madeYou act early because the margin already feels thinYour responses are misread in real time by othersYou carry the sense that if it falls apart, it’s on you Related EpisodesWhy Am I Bracing for Impact When Nothing Is Wrong? (Quick Reset) https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-10-quick-reset-why-am-i-bracing-for-impact-when-nothing-is-wrong/ You Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now. https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/ The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’ (Quick Reset) https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/ The morning doesn’t resolve. There’s no clean ending attached to it. Just the moment being seen while it’s still happening. Not as overreaction. Not as a set of steps. As regulation under load, in real time, with the clock already ticking. 📬 Listener Questions & Community Submit a Listener Question (anonymous option) If there’s something you want answered on the podcast, you can submit a question here — anonymously if you prefer. https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864 Share Feedback or Topic Requests Have a topic you’d like covered, or feedback you want to pass on? You can send it through here. https://form.jotform.com/243189306607864 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmums
76. Always Leaving First — The Social Cost for ADHD Mums
2026/01/26
You can feel it tipping before anyone else does. Everyone’s still chatting, still comfortable, and your body’s already tightening. You know if you stay, you’ll be the one dealing with what comes next. It’s that familiar moment where nothing’s happened yet, but you’re already bracing for the clean-up. In This Episode, We CoverWhat it’s like to step in early when you’re the one who ends up carrying the falloutHow being told to ‘relax’ or ‘let it play out’ misses where the cost actually landsWhy stepping in early often gets read as control from the outsideThe difference between reacting to what’s happening and knowing what usually comes nextHow early exits, early no’s, and early decisions reduce the total load This Episode Is For You IfYou’re usually the one calling it before things tipYou leave events early and feel judged for itYou’re told nothing has happened yet, but you know what comes afterYou’re the one left carrying the aftermathYou’re tired of second-guessing what you know because you’ve lived it Related EpisodesWhy Am I Bracing for Impact When Nothing Is Wrong? (Quick Reset) https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-10-quick-reset-why-am-i-bracing-for-impact-when-nothing-is-wrong/ Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-63-surviving-the-mental-load-of-the-school-year/ When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiet https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/ You Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now. https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/ The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’ (Quick Reset) https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/ This isn’t about being better at sitting with uncertainty. It’s about exposure. Some people only experience the moment. Others are the ones who absorb what comes after. Leaving early doesn’t look necessary when you’re not the one managing the fallout. What looks like overreaction from one place is actually load reduction from another. You’re not creating problems too soon. You’re carrying the cost so it doesn’t land later. 📬 Listener Questions &...
75. I Was Fine Until No One Replied
2026/01/21
This episode sits in a very specific moment: when nothing has technically happened, but your whole system reacts as if something has gone wrong. A message goes unanswered. A reply takes longer than expected. A conversation pauses.And suddenly, silence feels loaded. In this episode, Jane explores why those moments don’t register as neutral. They register as danger. Not because you’re dramatic or overthinking — but because past experiences have taught your system that silence can mean rejection, conflict, or loss of safety. The panic that shows up isn’t reactive. It’s predictive. And the relief that floods in when the reply finally comes? That’s not embarrassing. It’s data. Evidence that your system misfired a protective alarm — not that something is wrong with you. This is a recognition episode, not an explanation. It doesn’t teach you how to stop spiralling. It names why the spiral happens — and lets that understanding do the calming. In This EpisodeWhy silence is experienced as threat, not informationHow past social pain trains the brain to predict danger earlyWhy panic is terrible at writing messagesThe relief that comes when nothing was actually wrong — and what it provesHow overprotection develops from lived experience, not weaknessWhy this reaction is about safety, not self-control This Episode Is For You IfUnanswered messages make your whole body braceSilence feels heavier than wordsYou rewrite texts that didn’t need fixingRelief after a reply is followed by self-doubt or shameYou want recognition, not advice Best Related EpisodesThese episodes deepen the same patterns of silence, rejection sensitivity, and misread threat. An RSD Story: Taking My Own Advice A personal lived experience of rejection sensitivity and shame loops. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/an-rsd-story-taking-my-own-advice-s1-ep9/ Why Am I Bracing for Impact When Nothing Is Wrong? (Quick Reset) How the system predicts danger before there’s evidence. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-10-quick-reset-why-am-i-bracing-for-impact-when-nothing-is-wrong/ When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiet — What Your Body Is Doing and Why Hypervigilance and waiting for the social ‘drop’. 👉 a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/"...
74. You’re Not That Mum (Back to School Edition)
2026/01/19
If you’re standing at the edge of a new school year already feeling tight, alert, or on edge — this episode is for you. Not because you’re anxious. Not because you’re controlling. And not because you’re ‘that mum’. In this episode, Jane unpacks what actually happens for many mums as school resumes — especially those parenting neurodivergent children. The pressure to stay ahead. To manage outcomes. To prevent last year from repeating itself. What often gets misunderstood is this: that tension isn’t about wanting control.It’s about knowing what’s at stake. This episode explores the difference between regulation through behaviour and regulation through relationship — and why mums so often find themselves translating between systems that don’t speak the same language. Jane reflects honestly on her own controlling reactions, not as a flaw, but as a signal of care under pressure. The result is an episode that offers relief, recognition, and permission — not resolution. This is not a ‘back to school readiness’ episode. It’s an emotional exhale before the year begins. In This Episode, We CoverWhy the start of the school year activates so much nervous system stressHow last year gets carried forward in the bodyThe difference between caring, control, and influenceWhy mums are often labelled ‘that mum’ when they’re actually translating systemsRegulation through relationship vs regulation through behaviourHow fear of repetition drives over-functioningWhy letting go of control isn’t the same as giving upPermission to choose influence where control isn’t possible This Episode Is For You IfYou feel braced heading into the school yearYou’re worried about becoming ‘that mum’You’re carrying last year’s stress into this oneYou’ve had to advocate repeatedly for your childYou feel responsible for making the system workYou want relief and clarity, not another checklist 🔗 Related EpisodesThese episodes sit in the same school-season and systems-translation lane, and deepen the themes explored here. Surviving the Mental Load of the School Year Why mums carry the system stress, not just the logistics 👉 a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-63-surviving-the-mental-load-of-the-school-year/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...
73. Being Judged for Choosing Understanding Over Punishment
2026/01/14
If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘too soft’ or that your child just needs firmer discipline — this episode is for you. Not because you need to learn how to parent better. But because the judgement itself is the problem. In this episode, Jane unpacks one of the most exhausting myths ADHD parents face: that challenging behaviour is a discipline failure rather than a regulation issue. When children melt down, struggle to comply, or can’t do today what they managed yesterday, the adult world often reads this as defiance, manipulation, or laziness. Parents are then pressured to punish harder — even when punishment clearly isn’t helping. This episode stands between you and that pressure. Jane explains why ADHD is not a behaviour to 'manage', why punishment backfires for dysregulated nervous systems, and why fluctuating capacity is not inconsistency or bad parenting. Most importantly, it names the quiet shame parents carry when they’re blamed for something that was never a moral failure to begin with. This is not a debate about discipline styles. It’s a defence of parents who are paying attention. In This Episode, We CoverWhy being told to ‘be firmer’ feels personal — and why it causes so much damageThe myth that punishment teaches self-regulation (and what it actually teaches instead)Why ADHD is not a behaviour problem but a developmental delay in regulationHow shame undermines self-esteem and worsens behaviour over timeWhy ‘they did it yesterday’ is a misunderstanding of fluctuating capacityHow inconsistent capacity gets misread as manipulationWhy punishment often increases defiance and emotional dysregulationThe difference between obedience and safetyWhy connection builds skills in the long term — even when it’s harder in the short termHow to hold boundaries without turning distress into a moral failure This Episode Is For You IfYou’re constantly being judged for choosing understanding over punishmentFamily members question your parenting or dismiss ADHDYou feel blamed when discipline doesn’t ‘work’Your child copes one day and falls apart the nextYou’re exhausted from explaining yourself over and overYou know punishment isn’t helping — but feel pressured anyway 🔗 Explore More From This EpisodeThese episodes deepen the themes discussed here and support the same values-driven approach. 🎧Referenced in This EpisodeThe ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’ (Quick Reset) Why pressure backfires, and how shame and guilt shape behaviour and self-esteem a...
72. You’re Not Behind — You Learned to Carry Responsibility Too Early
2026/01/12
You’re not behind.And you’re not failing at life. If you wake up already tired — before anything has even happened — this episode explains why. Not in a ‘here’s what to do’ way. In a ‘nothing is wrong with you’ way. In this episode, Jane names the invisible thing that keeps so many mums feeling behind, rushed, and quietly panicked even on calm days: carrying responsibility before it’s required. It’s why the phone ringing makes your body brace. Why waiting doesn’t feel like rest. Why you feel like you’re about to get in trouble — even when everything is fine. This isn’t anxiety. It isn’t disorganisation. And it isn’t you being dramatic. It’s what happens when your nervous system learned, very early on, that missing things had consequences — so it stayed alert just in case. This episode is about the mum who feels behind before she’s started… and the relief of realising she’s not behind at all — she just started carrying it too early. In This Episode, We Cover:Why you can feel exhausted even when nothing has gone wrongThe ‘I must have forgotten something’ feeling — and where it comes fromWhy your body braces when the phone ringsWhat it means to live in ‘standby mode’How responsibility can show up before it’s actually requiredWhy urgency feels real even when it isn’tThe difference between being behind and being earlyThe quiet permission to stop obeying the rush This Episode Is For You If:You feel behind before the day even beginsYour body is always waiting for something to go wrongYou apologise or explain yourself before anyone asksQuiet days still feel heavy and tenseRest doesn’t feel like restYou want relief — not another strategy 🎧 Quick Resets (Short, Bingeable Support)Quick Reset: Mum hack meal planning for when you’re already burnt outhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-43-quick-reset-mum-hack-meal-planning-for-when-youre-already-burnt-out/Quick Reset: Self-care feels nice. Self-regulation keeps you alive.a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-53-quick-reset-self-care-feels-nice-self-regulation-keeps-you-alive/" rel="noopener noreferrer"...
71. When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiet — What Your Body Is Doing and Why
2026/01/05
You’re not bad at relaxing. And you’re not doing rest wrong. If you’ve ever noticed yourself cleaning, tidying, or “finding something to do” in the very moments you’re supposed to be enjoying — this episode explains why. In this short but powerful conversation, Jane unpacks why so many mums feel restless, guilty, or half-revved when things finally go quiet, and why that response isn’t anxiety or a personal flaw. It’s learned usefulness — shaped by gendered conditioning and reinforced over time. This episode is about the mum who steps out of the circle of joy to make sure the moment runs smoothly for everyone else… and then wonders why she can’t settle when nothing is required of her. In This Episode, We Cover:Why doing can feel safer than enjoyingHow usefulness becomes tied to belongingWhat’s actually happening when rest feels uncomfortableWhy this pattern runs through generations of womenHow ADHD nervous systems stay alert when roles disappearWhy restlessness is role-consistent, not a failureHow to begin unlearning usefulness = worth (gently, slowly) This Episode Is For You If:You feel uneasy when things finally go quietYou clean or stay busy instead of enjoying momentsRest makes you feel guilty, restless, or exposedYou’ve been told you’re “bad at relaxing”You want to understand why your body stays alert — without blaming yourself 🔗 Explore More From This Episode🎧 Related Podcast EpisodeADHD meds won’t fix everything — now what?https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-23-adhd-meds-wont-fix-everything-now-what/ 🎧 Quick Resets (Short, Bingeable Support)Quick Reset: Mum hack meal planning for when you’re already burnt outhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-43-quick-reset-mum-hack-meal-planning-for-when-youre-already-burnt-out/Quick Reset: Self-care feels nice. Self-regulation keeps you alive.a href="https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-53-quick-reset-self-care-feels-nice-self-regulation-keeps-you-alive/" rel="noopener...
70. The Resolutions None of Us Actually Did
2025/12/29
You didn’t fail your New Year’s resolutions. You survived a year that was heavier than the plans you made for it. I asked the ADHD Mums community how their New Year’s goals actually went last year — and the answers weren’t lazy, careless, or undisciplined. They were honest. Tender. Exhausted. This episode is a collective exhale for every mum who promised she’d get organised, rest more, yell less, move her body… and then found herself just trying to keep everyone alive. 💬 What this episode really saysADHD mums don’t fail goals because they don’t care enough. They struggle because they’re already at capacity when they set them. 🧠 In this episode, we unpack:Why New Year’s resolutions collapse for ADHD mums — especially in JanuaryHow burnout and survival mode sabotage motivation and follow-throughThe difference between ‘lack of discipline’ and lack of marginWhy long-term planning doesn’t work when your nervous system is cookedA kinder, ADHD-friendly alternative to goal-setting 🎧 Listen & linksListen: https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/the-resolutions-none-of-us-actually-didResource: Energy Accounting Guide → https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/ 🔗 Related episodesThe Year I’ve Decided Good Enough Is Enoughhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/good-enough-is-enough-year/Why Most Planners Fail ADHD Mums (And How to Finally Make One Work)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-why-most-planners-fail-adhd-mums-and-how-to-finally-make-one-work/QUICK RESET: The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/
69. Too Exhausted to Be the Parent You Want to Be
2025/12/26
If you feel like you’re failing at parenting because you’re constantly exhausted, flat, or shutting down — this episode is for you. This isn’t about trying harder or fixing yourself. It’s about understanding why ADHD and neurodivergent mums don’t just get tired — we get depleted. In This Episode, We Cover:Why exhaustion can feel like numbness instead of emotionWhat dopamine debt looks like in real lifeHow emotional labour quietly drains ADHD mumsWhy rest alone doesn’t fix burnoutHow to stop treating depletion like a personal failure Free Resources Listed:🎁 Get the Energy Accounting Guide: Download here Related EpisodesChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There👉 Click here to listenWhy am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?👉 Click here to listenQUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*ing Task👉 Click here to listen Listener Question BoxHave a moment, question, or December story you can’t quite put into words? 👉 Send a listener question or story here: Submit your question anonymously
68. 🎅 You’re Allowed to Be Done — Even at Christmas
2025/12/22
What if the calm you felt last Christmas wasn’t a fluke — but a clue? In this episode, Jane responds to a listener who accidentally lost her Christmas list… and felt calmer than she ever had in December. Not because she stopped caring — but because the mental load finally dropped. This conversation explains why ADHD mums hit capacity faster at Christmas, why letting go feels terrifying, and why you’re allowed to be done even when the list never ends. What you’ll hear in this episodeWhy losing the list created instant calmThe difference between dropping tasks and dropping loadWhat allostatic load is — and why ADHD mums carry more of itWhy your body knows you’re done before your brain agreesHow to stop before you shatter, not after Free Resources Listed:🎁 Get the Energy Accounting Guide: Download here Related EpisodesChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There👉 Click here to listenWhy am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?👉 Click here to listenQUICK RESET: Why Self-Care Feels Like Another F*ing Task👉 Click here to listen Listener Question BoxHave a moment, question, or December story you can’t quite put into words? 👉 Send a listener question or story here: Submit your question anonymously
67: The Xmas Yes That Should’ve Been a No
2025/12/17
I thought I was being polite. I thought I was keeping my options open. But somewhere between exhaustion, people-pleasing, and old survival habits, I abandoned myself — again. In this episode, I share the exact moment it clicked: my 'soft no’s' weren’t boundaries at all. They were apologies wearing polite outfits. And when everything finally caught up with me, my nervous system had already run out of fuel. This is a deeply human conversation about people-pleasing, the fawn response, ADHD overwhelm, and why saying no can feel genuinely unsafe — even when you desperately need to. Key TakeawaysWhy 'maybe' is not a neutral response when you’re exhaustedHow people-pleasing is a nervous-system survival strategy, not a personality flawWhat the fawn response actually looks like in ADHD mumsWhy overwhelm makes boundaries collapseThe hidden cost of keeping the peace 🔗 Related Episodes & Recommended ListeningIf this episode landed for you, these conversations explore the same patterns of people-pleasing, masking, self-sacrifice, and nervous-system survival: Stop People-Pleasing: The ADHD Mum’s Guide to Boundaries, Balance, and Breaking Free👉 Listen hereYou Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Now.👉 Listen hereHigh Camouflaging ADHD and ASD👉 Listen hereSelf-Sacrifice Is Not Your Friend (And Here’s Why)👉 Listen hereQUICK RESET: I Cancel Plans Because I Don’t Have the Energy to Fake My Personality👉 Listen here 🤍 FB Group: If you want a space where you don’t have to explain yourself: 👉 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
66. Stop People-Pleasing This Christmas — The Year I Stopped Apologising for My Child
2025/12/15
December brings presents… and pressure. Family dynamics get loud, expectations get heavier, and suddenly you’re managing everyone’s feelings and your ADHD child’s reactions — all while trying not to implode. This episode answers a powerful listener question: How do I handle gift-opening with my ADHD/PDA child without feeling ashamed, judged, or like I’m failing?  It’s not just about presents. It’s about generational conditioning, people-pleasing, masking, and the old belief that ‘being liked = being good.’ What We Cover Why ADHD/PDA kids may not react the “expected” way to giftsThe inherited ‘good girl’ conditioning mums carry into adulthoodFawning as a trauma response (and why it flares during Christmas)How masking is taught — and why many of us learned adult comfort > child honestyHow to script boundaries with family without apologisingWhat to do before, during and after gift-opening to reduce conflictWhy guilt shows up (and why it doesn’t mean you’re wrong) This Episode Is For You If… Your stomach drops any time someone comments on your child’s reactionsYou’re torn between protecting your child and appeasing adultsYou feel responsible for everyone’s comfort — except your ownYou want to break the ‘good girl’ cycle, but December makes it hardYou need language, scripts, and validation for navigating family events Resources & Links  Related Podcast Episodes The Good Girl EpisodeThe Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone ElseChristmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There Relevant Tools & Programs Festive F* It Plan** — your calmer, kinder December blueprintADHD Mums Guide to Boundaries & Breaking Free from People-PleasingADHD Mum’s Guide to Managing Overwhelm During Busy Seasons Navigating Impulse Spending During the Holidays with ADHD Community & Forms Listener Question Form  ADHD Mums Facebook Community — collective wisdom + real-life scripts Content Warning This episode touches on masking, childhood invalidation, and trauma-related people-pleasing patterns. Listen Now Spotify | Apple | adhdmums.com.au
65. I’m the Magic of Christmas… But Apparently I’m Grumpy Too
2025/12/10
Silent rage at Christmas isn’t a personality flaw — it’s a nervous system collapse. In this episode, we unpack why ADHD mums hit overwhelm earlier and harder during December, why the “tiny straw” moments feel massive, and how the invisible mental load of Christmas pushes your brain into shutdown mode long before anyone notices. This is a compassionate, nervous-system-first explanation of why you’re so tired, so overstimulated, and so close to snapping… and why none of this is your fault. Key TakeawaysSilent rage = a responsibility overload response, not “being grumpy.”ADHD brains spend more effort on planning, remembering, switching tasks and emotional labour — Christmas multiplies all of these.The “tiny” trigger never is tiny — it’s the final task hitting a system already at capacity.Your body reads “too much responsibility” as danger, shifting into tension, heat, and shutdown.Sensory load + task load + emotional load = the perfect storm that makes Christmas feel impossible.You’re not the problem — the load is.Micro-shifts can interrupt the bracing response before it becomes collapse. Listen & LinksListen: www.adhdmuns.com.au/magic-of-christmas-but-im-grumpy Free resource:  👉 Download the Energy Accounting Guide 🔗 Related Episodes‘The Red Pen Christmas: How to Stop Editing Yourself for Everyone Else’ 👉 Listen here ‘The Year I’ve Decided Good Enough Is Enough’ 👉 Listen here ‘Christmas Is the Finish Line — And ADHD Mums Are Crawling There’ 👉 Listen here 💬 Share / Vent / AskADHD Mums Facebook Community Post a #vent, get solidarity, and be witnessed by other mums who get it. 👉 Join the Facebook group Listener Question Box Send in your own ‘washing machine’ or ‘silent rage’ moment for future episodes. 👉 Submit a listener question

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