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Send us Fan Mail You got the email that said congratulations, you're a manager now, and then zero hours of training on how to do any of it. Meanwhile, the Sunday night dread or calm your team feels runs mostly through you. I'm sharing five tips for first-time managers, backed by 2025 and 2026 research from Gallup and Sagos. Gallup found managers account for about 70% of the variance in team engagement, yet only 44% have received any formal management training. Sagos found 89% of new managers are satisfied with their own performance, while HR leaders say 68% of the internal candidates they promote are missing soft skills. That gap between how you think you're doing and how your team experiences you is where this episode lives. I also explain why the 1988 Tom Hanks movie Big is secretly the best management training film ever made, and I share a few words for employees with a brand new boss. In this episode: • Going from buddy to boss, and why you complain up, not down • Letting go of the work so you can lead, plus the Friday Five weekly gut check • Giving feedback that is early, specific, and kind • Protecting your one-on-ones and spelling out what great looks like • Managing up, asking for training, and the Accidental Manager Scorecard Follow or subscribe so you don't miss the sequel on stepping into your first executive role. Join The Water Cooler, our monthly newsletter: https://mfihr.com/newsletter.html Connect with me on LinkedIn and tell me you heard this episode: https://www.linkedin.com/in/njsanecourtney Your job is meant to support your life. Your life is not meant to support your job. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail You got the new title, the bigger scope, and the shout-out in the team meeting. Then you waited for the number, and it never came. That's a fake promotion, and it's everywhere right now. I walk through fresh 2025 and 2026 data. 69% of workers say they now handle responsibilities that used to be split among several people, and three quarters got nothing in return. Managers, I'm direct with you on this one. Consolidating roles after layoffs and calling it an opportunity is not leadership, and I give you four questions to ask first. Then I turn to employees, because there's another side nobody says out loud. Some of the best career moves don't come with a raise on day one. I share how saying yes to an assignment in Nigeria that nobody wanted shaped my whole career. I also explain why the ain't gunners keep getting passed over. In this episode: • What a fake promotion looks like, and why "opportunity" is doing so much work • The numbers on unpaid extra work after layoffs and consolidations • A four-question gut check for managers before handing one person three jobs • Nigeria, career bridges, and the research on who actually gets rewarded for stretch work • Five questions to tell a real career bridge from a fake promotion • The Ain't Gunner Scorecard, plus a little Karate Kid Subscribe or follow so you don't miss the next episode. Join the Water Cooler newsletter at https://mfihr.com and connect with me on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/njsanecourtney. Your job is meant to support your life. Your life is not meant to support your job. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail The fastest way to lose a C-suite room is to start like every other meeting. We are talking about executive presentations that land: the kind where you walk in with calm authority, get to the point, and make it easy for leaders to say yes, no, or “here’s what we need next” without wandering for an hour. We share the mindset shift that changes everything: your presentation starts before slide one. Show up early, get the tech handled, and greet executives as they enter so you control the energy instead of reacting to it. Then we challenge a common slide deck habit that quietly kills attention, the agenda slide, and explain why it gives people permission to tune out and start doing time math. From there, we lay out a practical structure built for busy leaders: fewer slides, a strong hook that leads with tangible business outcomes, a tension statement grounded in real data to create urgency, and a clear recommendation that explains why your path is the best option. You will also hear why charts, trend analysis, and projections belong in the appendix so you can answer questions without letting data hijack the decision. If you want to build executive presence and “own the room” without sounding rehearsed or defensive, this framework will help. Subscribe for more, share this with someone who presents to senior leadership, and leave a review with the one slide deck habit you are ready to drop. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail If you've ever stayed somewhere too long because the title looked good on paper, this one's for you. Qiara Suggs got told no for a promotion she'd earned twice over — and turned that no into the executive seat she holds today. We pulled the curtain back on what it actually takes to drive your own career when nobody else is going to drive it for you. About the Guest Qiara Suggs is the Chief People Officer at TDECU, the largest credit union in Houston and one of the four largest in Texas, where she leads people strategy, corporate real estate, enterprise strategy, and enterprise project management. A fixture in the Houston HR community and a U of H alum, she's the kind of senior HR voice this show was built for. What You'll Learn Why hope is not a strategy — and the one question a mentor asked Qiara that flipped her entire careerHow to tell when your job description is the floor — and when it's quietly becoming the ceilingThe difference between leaving for the right reason and leaving because you're hurt (and how to tell which one you're in)Why every no is a yes somewhere else — but only if you stay in the driver's seatWhat HR actually does behind the scenes — and why "HR is not your friend" is a worse take than the internet thinksHow to navigate being the only one in the room without letting it define your brandTimestamps 00:00 — Cold open: why this conversation matters now  01:49 — Qiara's role at TDECU and the case for going "non-traditional"  04:01 — Mentors, and why your village beats your résumé  06:52 — The leader's job: betting on people who haven't yet bet on themselves  09:18 — "I won't do extra work for free" vs. showing your real ceiling 13:36 — Career growth isn't always vertical — and why that's the point  17:49 — Don't get stuck. Get in the driver's seat.  19:10 — The promotion that didn't happen — and what Njsane did next  24:13 — Every "no" is a "yes" somewhere else  26:54 — Total comp, the dollar trap, and the long game  30:36 — Don't quit mad. Make it a business decision.  33:53 — HR as friend, not villain — and what's really happening behind the scenes  41:12 — Being the only one in the room without losing yourself in it  50:02 — When leadership requires courage, not consensus  52:37 — Closing reflections and what's next Referenced episode: From Hourly to Salary: Promotion or Prank? — Season 1 on Buzzsprout Your Move Subscribe so you don't miss the next one → https://www.buzzsprout.com/2173681Get the newsletter in your inbox every other week → [insert Mailchimp signup link]Connect with Qiara Suggs on LinkedInConnect with Njsane → linkedin.com/in/njsanecourtneyBringing this conversation to your organization or conference? → [email protected]#MyFriendInHR #HRLeadership #CareerGrowth Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail The talent market feels calmer on the surface, but the real shift is deeper: after the pandemic, people rewrote their relationship with work, and companies were forced to take human capital management seriously. I’m joined by Jim Link, Chief Human Resources Officer at SHRM, to talk about what actually happened to the so-called war for talent and why HR leaders suddenly became essential to keeping business moving when the world got unpredictable. We dig into the practical side of modern HR strategy: why skills-based hiring beats relying on old job descriptions, how skill mapping strengthens internal mobility, and what “cultural clarity” looks like when budgets are tight but expectations are high. Jim also shares how he thinks about generative AI in HR, especially using AI for augmentation such as job description drafts, analytics support, and coaching prompts for difficult conversations, with a clear reminder to protect employee privacy by sanitizing what you share. Then we get blunt about retention and succession planning. Waiting until a resignation to offer growth is a costly habit, and most leaders underestimate how far honest career conversations can go without spending a dollar. We also challenge the “spreadsheet theater” version of succession planning and talk about building real bench strength, being transparent about potential, and creating space for grace when high potentials stumble. If you care about talent management, employee experience, and the future of work, this is the kind of conversation you can use immediately. Subscribe, share it with one colleague, and leave a review with the one leadership habit you think would fix retention fastest. Register for the SHRM 2026 Talent Conference: https://shop.shrm.org/SHRM-TALENT-2026?_ga=2.11244402.75391506.1775908899-634450247.1775908899&_gl=1*6e2gv8*_ga*NjM0NDUwMjQ3LjE3NzU5MDg4OTk.*_ga_HQNM4FGPDS*czE3NzU5MDg4OTkkbzEkZzEkdDE3NzU5MDg5MzAkajI5JGwwJGgw*_gcl_au*MTAzNzc4ODA0My4xNzc1OTA4ODk5 Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail One person can hit every target and still poison the room and the worst part is that keeping them can look “logical” on a spreadsheet. We dig into the real reasons toxic employees stay employed, from the at-will employment myth to the HR documentation gap that turns obvious bad behavior into a legal gray area. If you have ever stared at a teammate like “Why is Dave still here?”, you are not alone and your manager is probably navigating risks you cannot see. We walk through three invisible handcuffs that slow everything down: fear of wrongful termination claims, the subjectivity trap (toxic is not a policy violation), and the confidentiality iceberg that hides discipline and coaching from the rest of the team. Then we hit the high performer dilemma head-on. Great results do not cancel out harmful behavior, and tolerating a “rainmaker” can quietly train your culture to accept disrespect as the price of performance. You will get tactical tools you can use immediately: a simple documentation rule (if you cannot observe it, measure it, or quote it, do not write it), a clear formula that makes behavior defensible (date and time, specific behavior, business impact, witnesses), and a word-for-word script for the hardest conversation in management. We also cover how employees can help without becoming the next problem and why protecting your own mental health and career trajectory matters if leadership will not act. If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with a manager or coworker, and leave a five-star rating and a comment so more people can find the show. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail You interviewed 10 times. You've been waiting by your phone for days. Then the recruiter finally calls—you got the job! Your heart is racing, you're thrilled, and they're giving you the offer right now. What do you say? Do you accept on the spot? Do you negotiate? And if you do negotiate, what the hell are you supposed to actually SAY? Haven't listened to Part 1 yet? Go back and start there first. We tackled the fear that holds most of us back when we think about negotiating our salary—and I showed you exactly why that fear is costing you money. We broke down what's really happening behind the scenes, what companies actually expect, and why you have way more power than you think. In Part 2, we get tactical. I'm giving you the exact script, the specific FBI hostage negotiation techniques that work in salary talks, and the one skill most people completely blow: knowing when to shut up. We walk through a real salary negotiation step-by-step—from the moment you get the offer to closing the deal. You'll learn calibrated questions that put the hiring manager in problem-solving mode, how to use strategic silence as your most powerful weapon, and why filling that awkward pause costs candidates thousands of dollars. But here's what matters most: I'm giving you permission to advocate for yourself. Research shows that by not negotiating your starting salary, you sacrifice over $500,000 in lifetime earnings. Half a million dollars. Is five minutes of discomfort worth that to you? We also cover what most negotiation advice misses—character and integrity. How to negotiate powerfully without burning bridges, when to hold firm on your number, and how to close with class no matter the outcome. Your job is meant to support your life. Your life is not meant to support your job. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail By not negotiating your starting salary, you could be walking away from over $500,000 in lifetime earnings. But 70% of professionals never even try—because they're terrified the offer will be pulled. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on what REALLY happens behind the scenes when you negotiate. After 21 years in HR and nearly a decade as a recruiter, I've made over 1,000 job offers—and I've NEVER seen one pulled just because someone asked to negotiate. In Part 1, you'll discover: Why your fear of negotiating is completely unfounded (backed by real data)The $12,000+ companies invest to find you—and why that gives you powerHow to evaluate the FULL compensation package (not just salary)What bonuses, benefits, commute costs, and vacation really mean for your bottom lineWhy 85% of people who negotiate get results, but only 30% even tryThis episode is for you if: You've ever accepted the first offer out of fear. You're underpaid and don't know how to ask for more. You're evaluating a job offer right now and feeling anxious about negotiating. I'm Njsane Courtney, VP of HR at American Bureau of Shipping and creator of "My Friend in HR." I've spent two decades on both sides of the negotiation table, and I'm giving you the insider playbook companies don't want you to have. Your job is meant to support your life. Your life isn't meant to support your job. 🎧 Listen to Part 2 for the exact words to say and when to shut up during negotiations. 📧 Questions? Email me at myfriendinhr@gmailcom  📱 Connect: @MyFriendinHR YouTube @MyFriendIn_HR on Instagram & Twitter | Njsane Courtney on LinkedIn Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail Are You Building an Exit Strategy or Just Surviving Until Friday? If Monday mornings fill you with dread, your micromanager questions every move, and you KNOW you're underpaid by at least $20K but feel paralyzed to do anything about it—this episode is your intervention. This isn't about setting fluffy 2025 goals. This is about building LEVERAGE. In this no-BS episode, Jassani Courtney breaks down the exact 5-step blueprint to stop being overlooked and start commanding the respect (and compensation) you've earned. Whether you're planning your exit or fighting to transform your current role, you need OPTIONS—and options require strategy, not hope. You'll discover: Why your LinkedIn profile is keeping you invisible to recruiters (and the 60-second fix that changes everything)The "Vampire Audit" that reclaims your time from energy-draining meetings and toxic coworkersWord-for-word scripts to shut down your boss's last-minute demands without sounding difficultThe uncomfortable truth about how you're being judged in the first 7 seconds—and what to do about itWhy your home life is secretly sabotaging your career moves (and how to fix it this week)Here's what most career advice gets wrong: They tell you to work harder, be more visible, or "lean in." But you're already exhausted. What you actually need is a system to build leverage while you're still employed—so you negotiate from power, not desperation. This episode delivers the scripts, the tactics, and the Monday morning checklist that changes your trajectory immediately. No corporate fluff. No motivational platitudes. Just the strategic moves that create real options. Your job is a contract, not a prison. But only if you do the work to create alternatives. Ready to stop settling and start leading? Press play. 💬 After listening, drop a comment: Which of the 5 steps are you executing first? 📥 Want the free Salary Negotiation Guide? Subscribe to our YouTube Channel and Comment "SALARY"  Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail Careers don’t stall because you lack talent; they stall because you lack leverage. We zoom straight into the POWER framework—five pillars that turn you from a passenger into the driver of your own path. No fluff, no clichés, just the playbook: personal accountability, options through money, work your network, ever battle ready, and reputation as currency. We start by dismantling the myth that managers are responsible for your growth. Ownership looks like asking precise feedback, chasing the ugly projects that matter, and building skills without waiting for approval.  From there, we get real about money as a career tool. A walkaway fund gives you breathing room to negotiate, leave toxic roles, and take strategic moves that compound into leadership scope. You don’t need a windfall—just a halt to lifestyle creep, small automatic transfers, and a clear target for six months of expenses. Networking becomes simple when you treat it as generosity on a schedule: consistent check-ins, thoughtful comments, helpful intros, and showing up when it’s inconvenient. Then we shift to readiness. Quarterly resume refreshes, a clean LinkedIn headline that signals outcomes, and a grab-and-go portfolio keep you sharp when opportunities show up fast. Finally, we get honest about reputation. How you act when things go sideways, how you share credit, and how people feel after working with you determine who speaks your name in the rooms that matter. By the end, you’ll choose one pillar to focus on for the next 30 days and leave with small, specific actions that build real momentum. If this hit home, share it with a friend who’s stuck, connect with me on LinkedIn at Jassani Courtney for deeper dives on each pillar, and hit subscribe for more straight talk that actually moves your career forward. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail Trust isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the hidden currency driving every workplace. When it breaks, the fallout is bigger than missed deadlines or disengaged employees—it fractures culture. In this episode of My Friend in HR, we rewind the clock to humanity’s earliest tribes and connect ancient leadership lessons to today’s boardrooms, Zoom calls, and corporate cultures. Drawing from Simon Sinek’s insights, Edelman’s Trust Barometer, Harvard Business Review research, and real stories of leaders and employees betrayed by broken promises, we unpack the human side of why trust is collapsing in the modern workplace—and how to rebuild it. You’ll hear: Why ancient tribes chose leaders based on trust, not strength—and what that means for today’s executives.The silent betrayals that fracture workplace culture (missed recognition, layoffs handled poorly, and leaders who go quiet when employees need them most).How layoffs send psychological shockwaves that destroy productivity and loyalty.The science of trust and stress: why oxytocin builds collaboration and cortisol kills it.Why perks and bonuses don’t inspire when they’re not matched with purpose.What both leaders and employees must do to build a high-trust culture.This is not another “10 leadership tips” conversation. This is a hard look at the broken social contract between employees and organizations, and how trust—not just money—decides whether your culture thrives or collapses. 👉 If you’re a leader, this will challenge how you think about psychological safety, employee loyalty, and the true cost of layoffs.  👉 If you’re an employee, this will give you language to articulate why culture feels “off” when trust is missing—and what role you play in fixing it. Because when leaders stop protecting their people, perks stop feeling earned. And when employees stop showing up with reliability and honesty, teams collapse from within. Listen in, reflect, and let’s rebuild workplaces where trust is more than a slogan—it’s the foundation. 🔗 Want more? Subscribe on YouTube for video versions of this podcast, career tips, and my new series The Mic Drop. 📩 Enter my giveaway: subscribe + comment on YouTube for a chance to win a free Executive Resume Review. 📲 Connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and X for daily HR insights, coaching, and career strategies. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail SEASON 2 IS HERE: “You Got Promoted… Now What?” Let’s get one thing straight: getting promoted is not the finish line—it’s the starting block. And this episode? It’s your leadership wake-up call. After a few months of silence (life got busy, y’all—but I’ve been cookin’ behind the scenes), My Friend in HR is BACK for Season 2 and we’re coming in HOT with real talk for every new leader, reluctant manager, or “oh crap, now I’m in charge” moment. In this firestarter of an episode, we’re digging into:  🔥 The messy reality of managing your old work besties  🔥 The politics no one warned you about in your new role  🔥 The culture shifts that’ll humble even the most confident leaders  🔥 And why your first 90 days could make—or break—your leadership brand This isn’t just advice—it’s a survival strategy. No fluff. No BS. Just the truth about what it really takes to thrive after the promotion. Plus, I’m spilling the behind-the-scenes tea on where I’ve been, why HR on the Rocks is your new favorite YouTube series, and why this season of the pod is going to change how you lead—for real. 🎧 Press play, power up, and let’s get into it. Because leadership isn’t for the faint of heart—and neither is this podcast. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail "Feeling uncertain about your career's future? In episode 10, we dive into how you can transform those fears into steps for success in 2025. We'll explore strategies to navigate layoffs, technological changes, and more. Join us to discover how to stay ahead and seize the opportunities of tomorrow. Let's get you ready to conquer your career journey!" Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail Handling discipline in the workplace requires finesse and fairness. Through illustrative scenarios, I emphasize the importance of accountability, warning against the dangers of favoritism. Hear real-world examples that highlight the need for clarity and proper communication to resolve misunderstandings. Discover how documentation can be a tool for both protection and improvement, ensuring that employees and managers alike act on complete information. This episode promises to be a guide to equip you with the tools to navigate write-ups and improve workplace dynamics. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered if transitioning from an hourly role to a salaried position is the right move for you? We break down the essentials, from the financial implications of overtime pay to the stability of a fixed annual salary. Discover the pros and cons of each employment type and gain practical tips for evaluating your personal circumstances and job benefits. Don’t miss this comprehensive guide to making an informed decision about your career path, packed with insights to help you thrive professionally. Support the show Visit: MFIHR.com Instagram: myfriendin_hr LinkedIn: Njsane Courtney Email: [email protected]