Advertise on podcast: Parenting With Psychology

Is your child misbehaving at school and you don't know how to respond when the call comes in?  When your child is misbehaving at school, the call itself is often the hardest part, the instant defensiveness, embarrassment, or panic that hits before you even know the full story. This video walks through a simple 3-step method for responding to a school behavior report in a way that actually changes things, instead of just discharging your own stress onto your child. Most parents decide the punishment before they've even heard what really happened — and that reaction is usually about the parent's own feelings, not the child's behavior. A calmer, more curious response gets better information and better outcomes. Parents' own emotional state at the moment of a discipline decision directly organizes how they respond to their child — when that emotion is too strong or mismatched to the moment, it undermines the quality of the response, which is exactly why the first step in this method isn't about your child at all. In this podcast:  → Why the call itself triggers a punishment decided in the wrong state of mind  → The Check, Ask, Choose Method - 3 steps for responding to any school behavior report  → The one question that gets the real story instead of shutting your child down  → How to pick one consequence instead of stacking a second punishment on top of the school's  → What changes, and by when, once you consistently respond this way Grab my free Better Behavior Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/better

Learning how to build confidence in kids starts with a hard truth: the instinct to jump in and help isn't just harmless, it can quietly teach your child that they can't handle hard things alone. If your child refuses the puzzle above their level, hides when it's their turn, or gives up the second something gets tricky, this is the pattern behind it. Confidence for kids doesn't come from praise or from things going smoothly, it comes from tolerated struggle. In this video, I break down exactly what's happening in the moment you rescue, why it backfires, and the specific low-stakes practice that rebuilds a child's willingness to try. Research on self-efficacy shows that a child's belief in their own capability is built primarily through mastery experiences — actually doing the hard thing, not through being told they're capable. In this episode: → Why "he won't try" is fear of failure, not laziness and why it's often tied to a label → The Rescue Reflex: the parenting instinct that feels like love but teaches "you can't handle this" → The exact phrase to say instead of stepping in → What this looks like with a toddler vs. a big kid, start to finish → How long it takes before you see your child attempt something without checking your face first Grab my free Better Behavior Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/better

You've asked your child to do something for the fifth time, you're already late, and something in your chest goes hot before you've even decided how to respond. That's the amygdala hijack and it's the reason you sometimes hear yourself yell something you didn't plan to say. This podcast walks through exactly what's happening in your brain in that moment, why the instinct to raise your voice louder makes it worse, and the exact three-step method I use myself to stop the hijack before it turns into yelling, in about 90 seconds. UCLA researchers found that simply naming an emotion measurably calms amygdala activity in the brain, the same region driving the hijack. This isn't a willpower problem. It's a brain problem, and once you can see it happening, you can actually stop it. In this podcast:  → Why the instinct to raise your voice makes the hijack worse, not better  → What's actually happening in your brain in the seconds before you yell  → The 90-Second Reset — the exact three-step method, in real time  → What to expect in the first week, and when it actually starts to stick  → The one thing your child learns every time you catch it instead of losing it Reserve your seat in my free workshop 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop

Posting your kids online feels harmless — a cute photo, a proud caption, gone in the time it takes your thumb to move from camera roll to send. But most parents are moving faster than they realize, and the research on what that actually creates for your child might surprise you. This podcast breaks down exactly what's happening every time you hit post, why the instinct behind it is a good one even when the follow-through isn't, and the one three-second habit that turns posting from a reflex into a real family decision. A 2024 study of 228 parents published in the Italian Journal of Pediatrics found that 93% had no idea there was legislation or real risk tied to sharing their child's content online, most parents genuinely don't know what they don't know. In this podcast:  → The reflexive thoughts that feel harmless but move faster than the thinking  → What's actually happening to your child's digital footprint every time you post  → The one specific question that fixes this in three seconds  → What it looks like in real life, at two different ages  → What changes for your family once this becomes a habit 💬 Comment ASK below if you're going to try the three-second question next time you go to post. Grab my free Family Meeting Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/meeting

There are four recognized parenting styles, and most parents have never been told which one they default to, or what the research actually shows happens to kids raised inside each one. This video breaks down all four, in plain language, with no shame attached. You'll learn the difference between rules that build respect and rules that just build compliance, why "being the fun parent" can quietly backfire, and the one style researchers consistently find produces the best outcomes for kids on every measure that matters. Researchers followed adolescents raised in all four styles and found one pattern stands out clearly above the rest, and it's not the one most parents assume. In this podcast:  → The strict style that gets obedience but not always trust  → Why being the "fun parent" can work against you long-term  → Where "gentle parenting" actually lands and why it's not always what parents think  → The style almost no parent means to fall into  → The one style the research consistently points to as the winner (and what gentle parenting looks like when it's done right) → The one shift that moves you toward it, starting today Reserve your seat in my free workshop 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop

When your child prefers one parent, that stretch where they suddenly only want one of you — it's one of the most common and most misunderstood phases in early parenting. Most parents respond by accidentally gamifying it, and that's the exact thing that makes it worse. In this podcast, a licensed clinical psychologist breaks down why treating "who do you want tonight?" like a contest backfires, and what to say and do instead so both parents feel valued, and your child learns that love isn't something you win. Research on infant-parent attachment shows preference patterns are a normal, temporary part of development, but how parents respond to them determines whether the pattern fades or gets reinforced. In this podcast: → The bedtime habit that's accidentally training your child to pick favorites → Why cheering for the "winner" makes preference worse, not better → The Interchangeable Parent Rule, and the exact words to use tonight → What to do when your child protests the parent they didn't pick → How this connects to raising a child who thrives long-term Grab my free Better Behavior Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/better

When another child hits your toddler, the instinct to snap at the other kid — or tell your own child to hit back — is completely understandable. Neither one teaches your child what actually helps. This video walks through what to do instead, including the honest answer to the question almost every parent asks at some point: should you ever teach your child to hit back? Physical aggression in toddlers peaks around age 2 to 2.5 before declining — the child who hit yours is very likely going through the same developmental stage most toddlers pass through, not something uniquely wrong with them (Tremblay et al., 2004). In this podcast: → The 3 A's Method, applied to the moment your child gets hit → The honest answer to "should I teach my child to hit back?" → How to manage your own protective anger in the moment → What to do when it's the same child hitting yours, over and over → The exact words to use with your child afterward Grab my free Family Meeting Guide 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/meeting

Another child takes your toddler's toy, and you freeze or you feel your blood pressure spike at the other parent standing right there, not stepping in. This video walks through exactly what to say and do, whether or not the other parent gets involved. Toddlers as young as 20 months already actively assert ownership, and by 30 months they're standing their ground against a peer's attempts to take what's theirs, which is part of why these moments feel so constant and so charged (Ross, 2013). In this podcast: → The 3 A's Method: Acknowledge, Anchor, Alternative → What to say when it's clearly your child's toy or turn → Exactly what to do when the other parent doesn't step in → Why freezing teaches the opposite of what you want your child to learn → The one line that speaks up for your child without starting a parent-to-parent conflict Stop tantrums and meltdowns. Start here 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/start

If your toddler keeps hitting other kids — not a single tap, but real, repeated hitting — you've probably already heard "check in with the hurt child first." That advice is right, but it's incomplete. It doesn't tell you what to actually do about the hitting itself, especially when it keeps happening. In this episode, I'm walking through the CATCH Method — the exact 5-step sequence I use in my practice for repeated physical aggression in toddlers, including close supervision, physical interruption, and consistent consequences that actually decrease the behavior over time. Physical aggression is developmentally normal and rises through age 2 to 3 before declining through the preschool years — the real task isn't eliminating the impulse, it's teaching a child to control it (Tremblay et al., 2004). In this episode: → The CATCH Method for repeated hitting, step by step → Why checking in with the hurt child first isn't the whole answer → The exact one-sentence consequence to state — and how to follow through → What to do when your child hits back → How to rebuild trust with other kids and parents once the hitting stops New to my podcast? I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future. ------------------------------------------- Let's connect! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlindsayemmerson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drlindsayemmerson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/@drlindsayemmerson ------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel. If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional. Reserve your seat in my free workshop 👉 https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop

✨ Want a proven way to handle every parenting conflict with confidence? Register for the free workshop → https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop Your toddler grabs a toy from another child, and suddenly you're not just managing your kid — you're managing your own embarrassment in front of the other parent. This episode walks through exactly what to say to your child, and how to handle the other adult without over-apologizing. Toddlers are only just beginning to understand ownership as a concept at all between 24 and 30 months, and that understanding is directly linked to whether they share in the first place. In this episode: → The 3 A's Method for the moment your child takes someone else's toy → What to say instead of just "give it back" → How to handle the other parent without over-apologizing → Whether your child taking a toy means something is wrong → The exact phrase that turns "give it back" into an actual lesson 💬 Comment GIVEBACK below if this is a moment you've navigated recently. #ToddlerTakingToys #ToddlerDiscipline #GentleParenting #ParentingWithPsychology #ToddlerSocialSkills New to my podcast? I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future. ------------------------------------------- Let's connect! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlindsayemmerson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drlindsayemmerson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/@drlindsayemmerson ------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel. If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional. 00:00 – 00:14 | Why Toddlers Grab Toys 00:14 – 00:36 | The Science Behind Sharing 00:36 – 01:04 | The 3 A's That Teach Sharing 01:04 – 01:18 | What To Say To The Other Parent 01:18 – 01:56 | Why Consistency Beats Perfection 01:56 – 02:23 | The Mindset That Helps Parents Stay Calm

✨ 🔗 Want proven strategies for how to talk to teenagers from a child psychologist? Register for the free workshop → https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop Every month you spend in the wrong dynamic with your teenager is a month they practice keeping you out. And once that becomes a habit, it's very hard to reverse. This episode breaks down the 3 most critical things that keep the relationship strong enough that your teenager will still come to you when it matters most. In this episode: → Why doubling down on authority during the teen years is the exact wrong move → The safe landing place — and why your teenager may not know you are one → Rupture and repair — what almost no parent does, and why it's the most powerful relationship tool you have → The specific shift that changes your role from authority figure to the consultant your teenager actually wants to hear from → How to hand them the wheel gradually before the stakes get high 💬 Comment OPEN below if you want to be the parent your teenager actually talks to. #parentingteenagers #howtotalkteenagers #teenagerparenting #parentingteens #teencommunication New to my podcast? I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future. ------------------------------------------- Let's connect! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlindsayemmerson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drlindsayemmerson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/@drlindsayemmerson ------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel. If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional. 00:00 – 01:07 | Introduction 01:07 – 03:13 | Why Your Teenager May Not Know They Can Tell You Anything 03:13 – 05:01 | What To Do After You've Already Blown It 05:01 – 07:20 | The Shift That Changes How Your Teenager Sees You 07:20 – 08:44 | What This Builds Toward 08:44 – 09:44 | Next Steps

✨ 🔗 Want proven strategies for building confidence in kids from a child psychologist? Register for the free workshop → https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop If you've been praising your child's grades, celebrating their trophies, and telling them how proud you are every time they perform well — you may be accidentally building the kind of confidence that collapses the moment things go wrong. This video breaks down the 3 critical things that build genuinely confident, capable kids in the elementary years — grounded in developmental psychology, not motivational posters. In this video: → Why performance-based praise can quietly undermine real confidence → The micro-connection rituals that keep kids coming to you first — before they Google it or hide it → Why chores aren't just life skills — they're answering your child's most critical developmental question → The specific phrase that separates feedback that builds confidence from feedback that erodes it → What Unconditional Positive Regard actually looks like in everyday parenting 💬 Comment CAPABLE below if you want your child to know deep in their bones that they can handle hard things. #buildingconfidenceinkids #raisingaconfidentchild #schoolageparenting #childconfidence #parentingadvice New to my podcast? I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future. ------------------------------------------- Let's connect! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlindsayemmerson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drlindsayemmerson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/@drlindsayemmerson ------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel. If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional. 00:00 – 01:10 | Introduction 01:10 – 03:13 | The Small Daily Habit That Keeps Kids Coming To You First 03:13 – 05:14 | Why Chores Matter More Than You Think 05:14 – 07:41 | The Phrase That Changes How Feedback Lands 07:41 – 09:05 | What This Builds Toward 09:05 – 09:59 | Next Steps

✨ 🔗 Want proven strategies beyond toddler behavior from a child psychologist? Register for the free workshop → https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop Most parenting advice about toddler behavior gets it completely backwards — and if you've been following it, you may be accidentally training your toddler to keep doing the exact thing you're trying to stop. This video breaks down the 3 most critical things that determine whether toddlerhood becomes a season of power struggles — or a foundation for cooperation that lasts well beyond these years. In this episode: → The uncomfortable truth about what your toddler is actually learning from watching you → Why "because I said so" is working against you — and the one-sentence fix → The specific type of choice that stops a power struggle before it starts → What "loving authority" actually looks like in practice → Why the work you do in years 1–4 becomes the relationship capital you spend in the teenage years 💬 Comment CALM below if you're ready to stop being held hostage by your toddler's emotions and yours. #toddlerbehavior #toddlertantrums #toddlerdiscipline #parentingtoddlers #toddlerparenting *** New to my podcast? I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future. ------------------------------------------- Let's connect! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlindsayemmerson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drlindsayemmerson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/@drlindsayemmerson ------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel. If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional. 00:00 – 01:08 | Intro 01:08 – 02:55 | The Habit Most Parents Don't Realize They're Teaching 02:55 – 05:01 | Why "Because I Said So" Backfires 05:01 – 07:04 | The Choice That Stops a Power Struggle 07:04 – 09:11 | What This Builds Toward

✨ 🔗 Want proven strategies to build secure attachment from a child psychologist? Register for the free workshop → https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop As a clinical psychologist who works with hundreds of families every day, I've seen one pattern clearly: the first year of your baby's life is the most critical window for building secure attachment baby — the foundation that shapes their brain, their relationships, and their resilience for decades. And most new parents are focused on entirely the wrong things. This episode breaks down the 3 most critical things every new parent should focus on in the first 12 months — not the apps, not the gear. The things that actually wire your baby's brain for a secure, confident, connected life. In this episode: → Why the first 12 months create a foundation that shapes everything that comes after → The difference between a schedule and a rhythm — and why it matters for your baby's nervous system → How reading cues is the direct pathway to secure attachment (not just a communication skill) → The one thing most parenting books skip entirely — and why it might be the most important of all → What "regulated enough" actually means — and why perfection isn't the standard 💬 Comment GROUNDED below if this gave you a sense of calm in the chaos of early parenting. #securebaby #newparenttips #secureattachment #babydevelopment #parentingadvice New to my podcast? I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future. ------------------------------------------- Let's connect! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlindsayemmerson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drlindsayemmerson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/@drlindsayemmerson ------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel. If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional. 00:00 – 01:14 | Introduction 01:14 – 03:04 | The Difference Between A Schedule And What Your Baby Actually Needs 03:04 – 05:45 | The Skill That Builds Secure Attachment Without Being Perfect 05:45 – 07:57 | The Thing Most Parenting Books Leave Out 07:57 – 10:13 | What This Builds Toward

✨ Want proven strategies for child hitting and beyond from a child psychologist? Register for the free workshop → https://www.drlindsayemmerson.com/workshop When your toddler hits another child — at a playdate, at preschool, with a sibling — the stakes feel completely different than when they hit you. Parents are managing three relationships at once: their child, the child who got hit, and the other parent watching it all unfold. The instincts most parents reach for in that moment are understandable — but most of them miss the teaching opportunity entirely. Toddler aggression toward other children is one of the most socially pressured parenting moments you'll face. This video breaks down the five ways parents most commonly respond, which ones backfire, and the one response that actually teaches your toddler what to do instead. Research confirms that children in the preoperational stage (ages 2–7) are still developing the impulse control and perspective-taking skills needed to navigate peer conflict — meaning they need specific, in-the-moment guidance, not just punishment (Piaget & Inhelder, 1969). In this video: → The 5 ways parents respond when their toddler hits another child — and which backfire → Why the response order matters more than most parents realize → The social repair step most parents skip — and why it's the most important teaching moment → What to say to the other parent without undermining your child → The one response that works with your child's developmental stage, not against it 💬 Comment SAME below if your toddler has gone through a hitting-other-kids phase. #toddlerhitting #toddleraggression #toddlerbehavior #parentingtips #parentingwithpsychology New to my podcast? I'm Dr. Lindsay Emmerson, a clinical psychologist and Mom of 4, and I help parents find that sweet spot between support and structure that psychology research tells us is best for families now and best for our kids in the future. ------------------------------------------- Let's connect! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlindsayemmerson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drlindsayemmerson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/@drlindsayemmerson ------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: The advice provided on my channel is different from therapy and does not substitute for professional psychological treatment or other types of professional advice or intervention. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional or postpone seeking professional medical advice related to anything you hear on this channel. If you or your child have concerns or need further parenting or personal support, please contact a physician or other qualified local health professional. 00:00 – 01:43 | Introduction 01:43 – 02:35 | The Instinct Every Parent Has In Front Of Other Parents 02:35 – 03:31 | Why Removing Them From The Situation Isn't Enough 03:31 – 04:21 | The Apology That's Actually For The Other Parent 04:21 – 06:43 | Why "Let Them Work It Out" Doesn't Work Yet 06:43 – 10:14 | The Response That Actually Works 10:14 – 11:44 | What This Builds Toward