Advertise on podcast: Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services

What happens when the crisis is over? This episode explores why a breakthrough isn't the same as lasting recovery, and how awareness, emotional capacity, accountability, and repeated choices help create meaningful change.  Luke is joined by Bryan, a man who recently attended a Choose Recovery Services intensive. Listen in to learn why sustainable recovery means continuing the work even when life starts feeling normal again. Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11, 2026 in Spanish Fork, UT.  Rise, Renew, Restore - Women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Integrity Initiative - Learn how to align your behavior with your values and live with integrity, authenticity, and connection.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group. Choose Courageous Connection - Weekly live couples group that helps partners bridge their individual healing, so they can rebuild emotional safety and trust together rather than healing on separate paths.

What if the "off" feeling in your life is data, not failure? Luke Gordon sits down with Dr. Russell A. Pointer Jr., a pastor and public theologian (D.Min, MTS, MS), to talk about alignment with yourself, others, and the divine. Russell shares his own story of betrayal, patriarchy, and entitlement, and how learning to listen changed his marriage and his life. What you'll learn: Why being out of alignment is a check engine light, not a failure How grace and accountability work together Why building a pattern matters more than one good decision Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11, 2026 in Spanish Fork, UT. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   Rise, Renew, Restore - Women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  NEW Groups at Choose Recovery Services for men: Integrity Initiative - Learn how to align your behavior with your values and live with integrity, authenticity, and connection.  Choose Courageous Connection - Weekly live couples group that helps partners bridge their individual healing, so they can rebuild emotional safety and trust together rather than healing on separate paths. Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.

Why can someone be years into sobriety and still feel disconnected from their partner? Choose Recovery Services coach Tryan Stutes joins Luke to unpack "the gap" — the invisible wall of pride, fear, and old defenses that keeps couples stuck long after the acting-out stops. It's a raw, honest look at what real accountability requires beyond just staying sober. In this episode, you'll learn: What "the gap" really is Why sobriety does not always equal empathy Accountability vs. explaining yourself Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11, 2026 in Spanish Fork, UT. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   Rise, Renew, Restore - Women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  NEW Group at Choose Recovery Services: Integrity Initiative - Learn how to align your behavior with your values and live with integrity, authenticity, and connection.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group.

You’ve stopped the pornography. You’ve ended the affair. You’re in therapy and doing the recovery work—so why does your partner still not feel safe? In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon is joined by Amie Woolsey and together they unpack the hidden patterns that can continue long after sexual behavior stops, including secrecy, defensiveness, control, image management, and emotional disconnection. They explore what it really takes to move from simply stopping harmful behavior to developing genuine integrity, empathy, and accountability. Get Amie’s FREE video series about identifying abuse.  Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11, 2026 in Spanish Fork, UT. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   Rise, Renew, Restore - Women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  NEW Group at Choose Recovery Services: Integrity Initiative - Learn how to align your behavior with your values and live with integrity, authenticity, and connection.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group.

What does it really mean to be a safe person? This week, Luke is joined by Alana Gordon. Together they explore why physical protection is only one part of creating safety—and how emotional regulation, honesty, vulnerability, and the environment we create at home matter just as much.  You likely already have the instinct to protect. Now you just need to expand what protection means. Listen to learn: What emotional safety really looks like How regulation creates safety How to expand your definition of “protector” Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11, 2026 in Spanish Fork, UT. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   Rise, Renew, Restore - Women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵 Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  NEW Group at Choose Recovery Services: Integrity Initiative - Learn how to align your behavior with your values and live with integrity, authenticity, and connection.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group

Don’t miss part 1! Listen here. What happens when sobriety, accountability, counseling, and recovery efforts still don’t create lasting change?  Scott and Lela continue to share their journey through repeated betrayal, separation, rock bottom, and the deeper healing that finally began to change their recovery. Their story explores betrayal trauma, boundaries, IFS, therapeutic disclosure, and why sobriety may be the beginning—not the destination—of healing. Listen to learn about: Repeated D-Days and recovery setbacks Boundaries, safety, and deeper trauma work Moving beyond sobriety toward lasting change Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11, 2026 in Spanish Fork, UT. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group.

What if confession, accountability, sobriety, and marriage counseling still weren't enough? Scott and Lela experienced four D-Days and repeatedly believed that things would finally be different—only to find themselves back in the same cycle. In Part 1 of their story, they openly discuss pornography and compulsive sexual behavior, secrecy, betrayal trauma, marriage counseling, 12-step recovery, gaslighting, shame, and the devastating impact repeated disclosures had on their relationship. Most importantly, they begin to uncover a critical distinction: stopping the behavior isn't necessarily the same thing as addressing what drives it. This is the story of what wasn't working. Come back next week for Part 2 where we will explore the changes that finally helped them heal. Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men working to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. Nov 8-11 in Spanish Fork, UT Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group.

What does entitlement actually look like in recovery? It doesn't always sound like, “I deserve more than you.” Sometimes it sounds much quieter: “My needs should make sense to you.” This week Luke Gordon sits down with fellow recovery coach, Scott Blundo, to explore one of the more difficult pieces of recovery from compulsive sexual behavior: recognizing entitlement and understanding how it can affect the people we love. Listen to learn:  What entitlement is and how it shows up in relationships The connection between entitlement, helplessness, and empathy How to recognize and begin changing entitlement patterns Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men wanting to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Awakening the Man Within - Join us for a powerful four-day experience designed to help men release shame, old patterns, and what the body still carries, so they can step into greater strength, authenticity, and peace. Come ready to go deeper, reconnect with yourself, and experience the power of healing alongside a brotherhood of men who are doing the same. https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/awakening-the-man-within/ Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   Rise, Renew, Restore - women’s retreat in Bali in April 2027 - Join us in beautiful Bali for an unforgettable blend of deep somatic healing, soulful connection, luxury, adventure, and restorative experiences designed to help you release what’s heavy and reconnect with your joy. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group.

After betrayal, it's common for fear to take over. Your partner starts going back to school, developing friendships, investing in themself, or rebuilding an identity outside the relationship, and suddenly you're thinking: They're preparing to leave me. This week, Luke Gordon talks with licensed marriage and family therapist Tyler Patrick about betrayal recovery, differentiation, shame, fear of abandonment, and rebuilding relationships after infidelity. They explore what it means to: Give your partner “wings” instead of holding them backSupport differentiation after betrayalStop letting shame dictate your behaviorRegulate fear and anxiety during relationship uncertaintyBuild a life rooted in integrity and authenticity Connect with Tyler Patrick: website & Therapy Brothers podcast Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. Choose Recovery Services helps individuals and couples heal from betrayal trauma, addiction, and broken relationships so they can find freedom, wholeness, and lasting change. Blueprint Institute is a residential program for men wanting to heal from compulsive behavior. It provides an immersive environment built around structure, accountability, emotional growth, and behavioral change. Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here. Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Revive and Thrive Somatic  Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is October 6-9, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.   💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals and couples. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Tender Resilience - Heal through art. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop OR join the  6-Week Group

Most people believe accountability is the key to lasting recovery. But what if accountability is only the beginning? This week, Luke Gordon explores one of the biggest misconceptions in addiction recovery: the belief that honesty alone creates transformation. You'll learn: Why accountability matters Where accountability stops What actually creates lasting change How emotional regulation changes recovery Why healing requires more than honesty The difference between support and transformation Chapters 00:01 Crutches Analogy 02:08 Defining Accountability 04:27 Deeper Work Beyond Crutches 05:10 Window of Tolerance 07:22 Keep Going Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here. Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Connect With Luke: Learn more about Luke here.  Schedule a complimentary consultation here. Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!  Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com

Sexual acting out isn't always about sex. Sometimes it's about loneliness. Sometimes it's about validation. Sometimes it's about trying to feel alive. Luke Gordon and recovery coach Sammy Uyama unpack the emotional needs underneath compulsive sexual behavior and explain why understanding those needs is essential for lasting recovery. If you've ever wondered why relapse keeps happening—even when motivation is high—this episode may completely change how you think about healing. Book a session with Sammy.  Chapters 01:19 Meet Sammy 04:22 Need #1: Connection 17:08 Need #2: Validation 20:07 Need #3: Aliveness 25:15 Need #4: Comfort Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here. Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity.  6-Week Group: Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises. Connect With Luke: Learn more about Luke here.  Schedule a complimentary consultation here. Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!  Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com

Are you constantly looking for approval from other people? This week Luke Gordon and guest Ryan Collins explore what it means to become a validation junkie—someone whose identity depends on the opinions, approval, and acceptance of others. Together they discuss: Why validation feels addictive How people pleasing destroys authenticity The connection between shame and approval seeking Why marriage doesn't fix unhealthy validation patterns Chapters 03:45 Integrity - Steele vs Noodle 05:50 Ryan on Being Called Out 09:08 Validation as a Drug 14:22 Impact on Marriage 20:48 Fear of Disappointing Others 23:37 Validation vs Integrity 27:29 Owning the Cost 30:42 Building Integrity Skills Beyond the Facade is produced in partnership with Choose Recovery Services and Blueprint Institute. We want to hear from you! Fill out this short survey to let us know what you like, what you don’t, and what you want more of.  Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here. Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  NEW: Tender Resilience - Heal through art with Beth Woessner. No art experience needed. FREE monthly workshop: 1-hour Zoom workshop where Beth provides a safe space for connection, reflection, and simple process art as a tool to calm your body, regulate your nervous system, and awaken your creativity.  6-Week Group: Designed for those moving through the impact of betrayal trauma and wanting a grounded, compassionate space to rebuild trust in themselves. Each week we’ll explore a theme from Rick Hanson’s book Resilience and pair it with simple art exercises. Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive webinar. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com Learn more about Blueprint Institute’s residential immersion program at https://blueprint-institute.com

Recovery isn't won in the moment you resist temptation—it begins long before the urge ever appears. This week Luke Gordon explores why relapse is rarely an isolated event. Instead, acting outside your values is often the final step in a much longer emotional cycle involving stress, loneliness, shame, insecurity, and unresolved discomfort. You'll learn why your brain isn't trying to ruin your life—it is trying to solve emotional pain using familiar patterns. More importantly, you'll discover how learning to tolerate discomfort instead of escaping it becomes the foundation of lasting recovery. Chapters 01:49 Relapse Starts Earlier 03:01 Familiar Over Healthy 04:33 Relief vs Healing 06:14 Tolerating Discomfort 08:05 Flood Irrigation Metaphor 10:31 Tools for Regulation 12:30 Track Emotions, Not Behaviors Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life Connect With Us: Learn more about Luke here.  Schedule a complimentary consultation here. Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!  Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Many people spend years reading books, listening to podcasts, attending therapy, and understanding addiction. Yet they still feel stuck. This week Luke and Alana explain why information alone never creates transformation—and what actually does. You'll learn: Why insight feels good but doesn’t change behavior The uncomfortable “growth zone” How emotional awareness rewires recovery Why habits matter more than motivation How integration creates lasting healing Chapters 01:35 The Recovery Expert Trap 02:25 Swimming Lessons 05:37 Insight vs Practice 07:24 Repetition 11:15 Integration 15:13 Systems 18:46 Compassion As You Try to Change Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life Questions or topics you'd like us to address? Send us an email with “Choose To Be” as the subject to [email protected].  Watch us⁠ on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services ⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation. Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air. More from Choose Recovery Services Beyond the Facade Podcast - Helping men live authentically and aligned with their values. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women navigating betrayal trauma and its effects. Intensives - Immersive healing experiences designed for deep transformation in a short time. Help. Her. Heal - A program for men to build empathy, improve communication, and repair relationships. Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - Support for men working through addiction, shame, emotional growth, and relationship healing. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dating From Within - Learn to date yourself first and recognize when you’re ready for a healthy relationship. Should I Stay or Go? - A self-paced course guiding you toward clarity and personal empowerment. Trauma Trigger Kit - Grounding tools to help you manage triggers using your five senses. Believing in You - Learn brain-based tools to rebuild trust, empowerment, and joy. Intimacy Within ⁠- A self-paced guide to building authentic, vulnerable intimacy from the inside out. Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.

Most men were never taught how to identify their emotions—and that missing skill can quietly fuel addiction, disconnection, and destructive coping patterns. This week Luke explores why emotional awareness is one of the most important foundations of recovery. You'll discover why thoughts aren't feelings, why behavior management isn't enough, and how learning to recognize emotions can interrupt the cycle of compulsive behaviors. Listen to learn: Why "I'm fine" isn't an emotion How emotional distress leads to acting out Why shame and loneliness stay hidden The real purpose of emotional awareness A simple exercise to build emotional regulation Recovery isn't just about stopping behaviors—it's about learning to understand what your emotions are trying to tell you. Chapters 01:33 Why Men Miss Emotions 02:23 Thoughts vs Feelings 04:59 Rocky III Fear Lesson 8:04 Stop Asking Why Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE Register Now! ***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!*** Reclaimed: A Men’s Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah.  💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives.  Get our FREE eBook - Healing From Betrayal Trauma: A Compassionate Guide to Reclaiming Your Life Connect With Us: Learn more about Luke here.  Schedule a complimentary consultation here. Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air!  Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services    Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men: Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services: Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time. Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal.  Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Making Sense of His Behavior - Group designed for those who are trying to make sense of confusing, painful, and hurtful behaviors in their relationship.  Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com