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CRUDE #48 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London and special guests Fred and Isabel for a dive headfirst into some of the darker, messier and more controversial corners of the sex-positive scene. Fred and Isabel get brutally honest about their journey into degradation, CT/L and DD/LG play, and the particular pleasures of Berlin’s darkrooms. What exactly are CT/L and DD/LG? Why are people drawn to these forms of play? And does exploring darker desires automatically mean there’s trauma lurking underneath—or is it more complicated than that? Then things get even more CRUDE We talk about GBL/GBH—“G”—and its complicated relationship with sex-positive and hedonistic communities worldwide. Clubs and kink spaces may have a zero-tolerance policy, but banning G hasn’t made it disappear. Far from it. So why does G remain so deeply embedded in parts of the scene? What makes it so appealing? Where are the highs—and where do things go horribly wrong? From degradation to darkrooms, from consensual taboo to chemical disinhibition, this episode goes into places many people would rather keep out of the conversation. *What we were consuming* [Book] Mika Vri. Slut Theory An unfiltered journal on overcoming shame, healing trauma, and reclaiming sexual sovereignty (2025). [Book] Hardy & Easton. The New Bottoming Book (2001). [T-shirt] I Only Half Meant It [Definitions] DD/LG / CG/L (Caregier Little)

CRUDE #47 Effie in London is joined by Misty and special guest Beate in Berlin for a lively conversation about the often-forgotten arts of cuddling, heavy petting, and the playful intimacy many of us first explored before diving into more adventurous experiences. Beate shares insights into her unique workshops—including her famous "Turning Men into Furniture" dinner parties—which span the full spectrum of intimacy and sexuality, from creating meaningful Quality Time to exploring the world of BDSM. The CRUDIES also delve into the topics of asexuality and celibacy, discussing how they challenge common assumptions about sex and relationships, and how these themes are explored in Beate's book, Not Giving a F**k. *Beate* Beate Absalon is the author of "Not giving a F**k". A book that lovingly investigates the pitfalls of sexpositivity and the erotics of failure and imperfection. She is a sex and couples therapist and has been hosting workshops as 'luhmen d'arc' for over a decade now - encouraging participants to enjoy sex as play rather than drama. Website: https://www.luhmendarc.com/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/beateabsalon *What we were consuming* [Book] Beate Absalon Not Giving a F**k (German language, 2004) [Event] Turning Men into Furniture [Wiki] Mobius Strip [Community] The Bimbo Factory

CRUDE #46 Frank in Berlin is joined by Effie and special guest Kenneth for a lively conversation about sex education, female pleasure, and Kenneth’s work as a squirt-shop facilitator. The episode kicks off with Effie sharing stories from her latest adventures before the Crudies dive into Kenneth’s fascinating career. Kenneth leads workshops on a wide range of sexual topics, with a particular focus on squirting and helping people better understand pleasure, communication, and sexual confidence. Along the way, Kenneth explains how he became dedicated to sex-positive education and supporting women’s sexual empowerment. In this episode: Kenneth shares practical tips and “squirting hacks” for those curious about exploring squirting.A discussion about the importance of relaxation, body awareness, and “clearing the inventory.”Kenneth reflects on New York’s vibrant sex-positive community and his experiences at Club Hacienda.Stories of the legendary 3 a.m. gourmet meals served to hungry guests after long nights of play and connection. Kenneth was named the “World’s Greatest Sex Hacker” by GQ magazine in 2017. Keneth is also the autho of the #1 Amazon Bestselling Beyond Satisfied. Kenneth has been featured in 100+ media outlets, including The New York Times, Men’s Health, & Playboy. He is also the creator of Beyond Satisfied Pro: the gold-standard online course in female pleasure, sexual performance, and confidence, endorsed by women and sex therapists *What we were consuming* [Book] Kenneth Play, Beyond Satisfied: A Sex Hacker’s Guide to Endless Orgasms (2002) [Article] Vice magazine: Kenneth's Coaching [Video] 10 questions you always wanted to ask a squirting instructor [Awards] Sexual Freedom Awards [UK Party] Riot Party London / Manchester

#CRUDE 45 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Andre Lazarus to talk about his work as a sex and relationship coach as well as his important work in trauma healing with men and women. Andre has also appeared as a sex surrogate on the hit British TV show Virgin Island, but it's his experience in trauma healing and intimacy coaching that he explores with the Crudies. How does Andre's experience as a survivor of abuse and PTSD in the military inform his therapy and coaching?What kind of problems lead some men to sek out intimacy coaching?What about asexuality?What is sexual healing and what causes people to seek it out?Can trauma be physically locked in our bodies? *Andre Lazarus* Andre Lazarus is a Somatic Intimacy Guide and media-recognized voice on relationships, sexuality, and embodied connection. His career has taken an unconventional path, from serving in the U.S. Marines to helping individuals and couples navigate intimacy, communication, and desire. He gained wider recognition through the UK television series Virgin Island, where he appeared as a professional surrogate partner supporting participants as they worked through intimacy challenges alongside licensed therapists. Through his practice, Coming Closer, Andre works with individuals and couples seeking deeper connection, whether addressing performance concerns, healing from past experiences, or rekindling passion in long-term relationships. His work is rooted in the Somatica® Method, which emphasizes learning through the body, open communication, and replacing shame with curiosity. Today, Andre leads private coaching, workshops, and a men’s course on sexual communication while continuing to expand his media presence. *Social media and websites* Website: https://www.coming-closer.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@comingcloserwithandre *What we were consuming* [Definition] Somatic coaching [TV] Virgin Island Season 2 trailer

CRUDE #44 Frank in Berlin and Effie in London are joined by Jonas from the Liebesapfel podcast for a bold, no-filter conversation about God, sex, religion—and all the uncomfortable overlaps in between. They get into the provocative stuff straight away: why do people dress up as nuns and priests, and what’s behind the so-called “Christian fetish” scene? Is it just taboo, or is there something deeper going on with power, symbolism, and desire? Can people be spiritual and religious without organsied religion? Or dowe need to throw the baby with the bathwater when it comes to god? How can religions that preach love and compassion also be tied to exclusion, hypocrisy, and even abuse? Where do those contradictions come from—and why do they keep repeating? The trio also explores the unexpected parallels between kink communities and religious spaces: rituals, rules, trust, belonging, and the pull of something bigger than yourself. Jonas is a Protestant theologian and philosopher currently living inZurich. He co-hosts the German-language podcast Liebesäpfel, where he advocates for a sex-positive approach to religion. Linktree: https://linktr.ee/liebesaepfel_podcast Instagram: @liebesaepfel_podcast *What we were consuming* [Book] Marcella Althaus-Reid. Indecent Theology: Theological Perversions in Sex, Gender and Politics (2000) [Biblical book] Song of Songs [Hindu Gods] Kali & Shiva

CRUDE #43 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Posey Mehta. in to talk about the importance of kink education led by people within the community, highlighting why authentic, sub-led perspectives matter. It also takes a critical look at the UK’s laws around kink—examining how they can be discriminatory and, at times, rooted in homophobic assumptions. Alongside this, the conversation addresses the need for greater body diversity in kink representation, drawing on experiences from London’s only fat-centric cabaret night, Big Fat Cab, and the broader fight against fatphobia in queer spaces. Posey Mehta (they/them) is a multi-disciplinary live artist exploring fatness, submission, and masochism through drag, clown, and performance art. Their new show, Asking For It, challenges the illegality of S&M by inviting the audience to inflict Actual Bodily Harm on them in recognition of their capacity to consent. As their drag alter-ego, Mitzi Fitz, they run the sell-out sensation Big Fat Cabaret, London's best (and only) fat-centric cabaret. They're also a welfare monitor in kink spaces and advocate for sub-led kink education. *Upcoming shows* Asking For It WIPs | 20th & 21st April Protesting the illegality of S&M Big Fat Cabaret | 18th April Mitzi Fitz fat-centric cabaret Posey's Instagram ~ https://www.instagram.com/mosey_moo/ *What we were consuming* [Book] Mary Gaitskill Secretary (1988) [Film] Pillion (2005) [Film] Secretary (2002) [Definition] TPE (Total Power Exchange)

CRUDE #42 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Jessica Parker to talk about sensual pleasure touch. In a live yoni massage session (audio p*rn?), Jessica talks us through her practice and skills as she massages Effie. Misty and Frank also get the oils out and engage in some good old fashioned solo-voyeruism (totally different to solo-wa*king :p ) With fingers inside and around their parts, Jessica and the Crudies discuss: What is mindful masturbat1on?Is it ok to invite a magic wand into bed with a partner?is toy addiction a thing?How can massage and touch close the orgasm gap?What's the secret to more orgasms? (Spoiler: it's communication :) )What's the diffeence between sexual, sensual and tantra massages? Jessica Parker is a pleasure educator, certified Sexological Bodyworker, and sensual events curator with over twenty years of experience in massage, touch, and erotic education. Known for her grounded, candid, and refreshingly real approach, she teaches the art of Sensual Massage to help people connect, communicate, and experience pleasure with confidence. With a background in managing high-end sensual events and producing immersive experiences such as Pleasure Island Parties and Lady Liquid Love, Jessica creates warm, professional, and playfully curated spaces where genuine sensuality can unfold. *Which oils should you use?* Jennifer recommends natural unscented, and organic oils for use around the genitalia. Grapseed and coconut are her preferrred oils. Lelo massage candles are a must. Website: www.jessicaparker.co *What we were consuming* [Dating app] AceSpace [Podcast] The Orgasm Cult (on all players) [Lifestyle] Orgasmic meditation

CRUDE #41 Frank in Berlin is joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest VEX about a very special g******g with Effie and Elle, before the trio move on to conversations about Vex’s many guises and her fascinating professional career, which touches on virtually every facet of the porn industry. Vex also opens up about her sexual awakening in her 30s. The Crudies discuss solo wan*ing, the sex-positive scenes in both the UK and Berlin, and how different cultures approach sexuality, performance, and personal branding. Along the way, they cover industry realities, creative freedom, and a host of other topics that make this episode an open, funny, and wide-ranging conversation. Is solo-wanking breaching consent norms? How can bad sex be good? What's the difference between perverts and sluts? Vex Ashley is an independent porn producer and performer and founder of the Four Chambers project. With a background in analogue photography, art school b******t and digital sex online, Vex worked as a cam girl before beginning to make films as Four Chambers in 2013. Self-taught in cinematography with an emphasis on collaborative DIY practices, Four Chambers has spearheaded a new wave of creators making contemporary pornographic work from a new perspective with the aim to expand ideas about what porn can say, do and be. Independent, conceptual, creative, porn cinema. She speaks, writes and spends her time talking about making porn creatively and independently, sex as performance, authenticity and the self, art and pornography, technology and sex, camming and online censorship. Vex Links instagram.com/vextape instagram.com/fourchambers *What we were consuming* [Theory] Noelle Purdue (writer, artist, internet porn historian) [Sauna] Boiler Sauna Berlin [Research] Essay on women's growing interest in violent porn [Film] Maman parts 1 & 2 (mommy kink) can be found on the Four Chambered Heart website.

CRUDE # 40 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Paulita Pappel to talk about her role as an intimacy coordinator on film sets. Paulita has experience as a performer, producer and director in the adult industry as well as mainstream movies. The crew discuses feminist porn and Paulita's incredible biography as visionary, activist and creative genius within the European porn scene. Before then discuss the role of an Intimacy coordinator role in cinema. Is the role just about actor protection? Can you be an intimacy coordinator and influence what a film looks like? How can you work with queer sex scenes if you aren't queer? Why is the Berlin porn film festival different? What have romantic comedies to do with porn? Paulita Pappel is a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. After studying comparative literature in Berlin, she worked both in front and behind the camera. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world. She is the director of HardWerk, a film studio creating cinematic and tailored erotica. She also co-organizes and curates the Porn film festival Berlin and the conference Adult Industry Forum. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. *Links* paulitapappel.com https://www.instagram.com/paulitapappel https://x.com/PaulitaPappel Paulita Pappel selected filmography: here *What we were consuming* [Book] Virginie Despentes, King Kong Theory (2006) [Film] Anora (2024) [Film] Blue is the Warmest Colour(2024)

CRUDE #39 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to finally dive deep into how they each define kink and fetish, what these concepts mean to them personally, and how they shape their relationships, identities, and everyday lives. In this episode, the trio explores the differences and overlaps between kink culture, fetish culture, latex, and sexual expression, sharing real-life experiences, misconceptions they’ve encountered, and the evolution of their own desires. They talk about the role of consent, communication, boundaries, power dynamics, and negotiation within kink; how specific fetishes develop; and why self-acceptance is key in any alternative sexuality journey. The conversation also touches on how many people turn to sex workers to explore their kinks and fetishes. *What we were consuming* [Book] Anastasiia Federova, Second Skin: Inside the Worlds of Fetish, Kink and Deviant Desire (2025) [Book] Justin Lehmiller, The Psychology of Human Sexuality (2014) [Definition] Paraphilia – a condition characterized by unusual sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities. [Wikipedia] Jessica Rabbit [Fetish] "objectophile" or "objectum sexual": An individual who experiences romantic or sexual feelings towards inanimate objects. [Book] Emily Nagoski , Come as You Are (2015)

CRUDE # 38 Frank in Berlin and Effie in London sit down with filmmakers Sam and Ed from altSHIFT Films to explore the world of ethical and feminist porn, creative freedom, and the evolving landscape of adult media. Recorded during the Berlin Porn Film Festival, this episode dives into how ethical adult filmmaking challenges traditional narratives and the stigma that often surrounds the industry. Sam and Ed — longtime creators and industry professionals — share insights from their latest movie Blowie, and open up about how they approach filmmaking with integrity, consent, and artistry. In this episode, we discuss: What defines ethical porn? The role of performers, directors, and producers on set The realities of filming — from consent practices to creative storytelling Is impact play and similar content automatically unethical? Why the Berlin Porn Film Festival is a key space for sex-positive cinema and artistic expression Join the CRUDIES as they unpack questions about ethics, representation, and the art behind adult filmmaking. altSHIFT film "A couple of queers making cinematic filth" twitter.com/altshiftxxx instagram.com/xxaltshiftxx   *What we were consuming* [Film] Blowie [Festival] Berlin Porn Film Festival [Data on female kinks] Aella [Wiki] Prince Andrew and the Epstein Scandal [Film] The Antichrist, 2009 (Lars von Trier)

CRUDE # 37 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Lucy Banks in Perth, Australia to talk about her incredible life journey from corporate banking to a successful career on OnlyFans and the challenges this brought to her as a mother – from aggressive mothers at school to problems within her friend circles. Lucy Banks is the founder of Million Billion Media, a global PR and marketing agency helping adult creators and spicy brands build real, sustainable businesses. Previously one of Australia’s top OnlyFans creators, Lucy now uses her unique experience on both sides of the industry to help creators scale their income and grow their influence Million Billion Media Website: millionbillionmedia.com Lucy's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imlucybanks/ *What we were consuming* [Book] Kate Manne. Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny (2017) [Expo] SeEx (formerly SexPo) Australia. Adult lifestyle expo

CRUDE #36 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London and special guests Dr Danielle and Celeste from the Somatica Institute to talk about their approach to sex and relationship counselling. Somatic healing covers emotions, communication, passion and sexual pleasure. Celeste and Dr Danielle help clients their desires, boundaries, and feelings openly to became better listeners with their partners and the people they love. Their innovative work has garnered international attention. Most notably through their roles as consulting producers and on-screen experts for Virgin Island, a groundbreaking British TV series on Channel 4 that introduces viewers to the transformative power of real-time intimacy coaching. Instagram: @somatica_institute @celesteanddanielleofficial TikTok: @celesteanddanielle Websites: somaticainstitute.com learn.somatica.com sexcoaching.com *What we were consuming* [Definition] Sex surrogate [Series] Virigin Island

CRUDE #35 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in Spain and two very special guests to talk about female awakening and empowerment, OnlyFans, being ADHD and neurodivergent as well as burgeoning censorship in the US and OnlyFans. Mistress Kolipi and Øthyr took time out of their busy calendar(s) to share their life and missions with the Crudies Mistress Kolipi and Øthyr describe themselves as are architects of desire who dismantle the boundaries between pain and pleasure, dominance and devotion. Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Mistress Kolipi and Øthyr are a queer POC artist duo who create erotic works that function as ritual, rebellion, and reclamation. Their films, images, and performances challenge the gaze, rewrite the rules, and invite audiences into deeper states of embodiment, surrender, and power. Kolipi is a femme domme of colour and professional dominatrix whose ceremonial approach to kink merges discipline with transformation. Øthyr is an award-winning film director, photographer, and music producer whose past work for Nike, Red Bull, National Geographic, The New York Times, and NY Fashion Week has earned three Cannes Lions. Their work has been featured alongside Ai Weiwei, bridging the worlds of art, sex, and political resistance. Here is a master link where you can catch up on the duo's latest projects: HausofKo Haus of Ko on Insta: Instagram: instagram.com/@haus.of.ko Website: www.hausofko.com *What we were consuming* [Learning] The Consent Academy [Film] Hump Film Festival [Research - DSM 5] Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [US Law] Interstate Obscenity Definition Act (2025) [SW documentary] Shame Shifters (Insta: https://www.instagram.com/shame_shifters/)

CRUDE #34 Misty and Frank in Berlin are joined by Effie in London to chat with special guest Talia as they discuss sexual abuse and how it can relate to sexuality to art and to self-understanding. *Confidential/Anonymous Helplines* UK If you are over the age of 16, living in England & Wales, and have been affected by any form of sexual violence or abuse, specialist and confidential support is available 24/7. Call 0808 500 2222 or visit the 24/7 Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Line to chat online or find out more.  Germany Unter der Nummer 0800 22 55 530 ist das Hilfe-Telefon Sexueller Missbrauch montags, mittwochs und freitags von 9:00 bis 14:00 Uhr sowie dienstags und donnerstags von 15:00 bis 20:00 Uhr bundesweit, kostenfrei und anonym erreichbar. *What we were consuming* [Statistics] UNICEF report and statistics on child abuse globally [Book] Roxanne Gay. Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture (2018) [Wikipedia] Bravo: German Teen magazine [Art movement] (Viennese Actionism - Wiener Aktionismus) [Wikipedia] Hermann Nitsch