Advertise on podcast: CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Whitney answers two listener questions about harm that happened during a crisis and harm that accumulated over years. One listener is navigating repeated boundary violations from in-laws during her husband's medical emergency while postpartum—and her husband doesn't remember any of it. The other was cut off by parents who refused therapy, yet they tell everyone she initiated no contact. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parental rejection hurts more than almost any other kind of rejection, and it’s a pain that doesn't dissolve with age. If you've ever minimized what happened by saying "they just weren't that affectionate" or wondered why you can't just get over it, this episode reveals the research-backed truth about how early rejection embeds itself into your nervous system, personality, and every relationship you have as an adult. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney responds to a Facebook post from parents who feel blindsided by their college-age child who suddenly asks for no contact. She breaks down how the wrong response from parents can push the relationship toward permanent estrangement. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you've ever felt like the relationship you have with your parents or with your adult child looks completely different from the one that your parents had with their parents, you’re not imagining it. Whitney explores why relationships between generations have fundamentally changed over the last 30 years and why they're probably not going back. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney reviews anonymous letters written by estranged parents to their adult children. She identifies patterns of spiritual bypassing disguised as kindness, conditional accountability, minimization of harm, defensive anger masked as concern, and comparison used as manipulation. This isn't about shaming anyone; it's about naming what's happening beneath the surface so you can better understand your own experience with estrangement. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:00 Introduction: Reviewing real letters from estranged parents 02:01 Letter 1 13:20 Letter 2 19:40 Letter 3 25:56 Letter 4 35:21 Conclusion Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Whitney challenges the idea that all family relationships need to be deep, emotional, and vulnerable. “Strategic authenticity” is the idea of intentionally choosing what parts of yourself to share with certain family members. She discusses how to tell if a surface level dynamic is even possible for you. Surface level relationships don’t have to be about being fake rather protecting yourself while maintaining a sense of connection without full estrangement. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 9:59 When a surface level relationship is worth trying 13:04 Cost benefit analysis of relationships 20:29 Temporarily surface level 22:26 Should I tell them I want a surface level relationship Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney defines what authoritarian parenting actually is (beyond just being strict), explores how it's rooted in control rather than raising independent humans, and explains why these parents struggle when their children develop agency and can no longer be controlled the same way. If you have an inkling that your family of origin might have been drawing on some of the principles of authoritarian parenting this might be a useful listen. Whitney also answers a listener's question about coming to terms about accepting an uninvolved parent. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to ⁠[email protected]⁠ ⁠Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 02:00 What authoritarian parenting actually is (and isn't) 07:20 When you can’t be controlled anymore 12:45 How authoritarian parents respond to loss of control 24:43 Listener question Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney brings on Amanda White from Therapy for Women to react to the most requested show from her audience, you guessed it: Gilmore Girls. They break down season one, episode 18 "The Third Lorelai," analyzing the dynamic between four generations of women—Emily, Lorelai, and Rory plus the chaotic arrival of Emily's mother-in-law Trix. Even if you haven’t seen Gilmore Girls or this episode, Whitney and Amanda explore the universal experiences of being controlled by a matriarch, how emotional distance in one generation can create enmeshment in the next which in turn can cause estrangement in the next, and the weaponization of money and gifts in family dynamics. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Amanda’s website: https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/amanda-e-white-lpc/ Therapy for Women IG: https://www.instagram.com/therapyforwomencenter Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 04:00 Scene 1: Emily loses control when her mother-in-law visits 07:12 Scene 2: Money as connection and control 23:04 Scene 3: Weaponizing gifts and criticism 440:54 Scene 4: Lorelai’s insecurity 49:21 The dinner table scale Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s 2026. If nothing changed in your family dynamic by the end of the year, would you be okay with that? How about five years from now? Whitney has a firm but loving message for anyone who's been collecting knowledge and awareness about their family dysfunction but stuck in that frustrating feeling of not knowing how to take action. She challenges you to recognize how much time, energy, and mental space your family's chaos is consuming and to stop waiting for other people to change before you can move forward.  Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 02:37 Insight without action sucks 04:09 The daily toll of family dysfunction 12:01 The overintellectualizing plateau 18:22 If nothing changed in five years Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney is fired up about Oprah’s recent podcast about going no contact. She also responds to a Mel Robbins/Karl Pillemer article titled "Life is Too Short to Fight With Your Family." She breaks down why these narratives are harmful, who they're really speaking to (and who they're ignoring), and the problematic assumptions embedded in questions like "where did you get this idea from?” Whitney challenges the toxic positivity of telling people to accept mistreatment from family, questions why we're not writing these articles to Uncle Joe who's being racist at Thanksgiving, and explains why "just accept and move on" advice completely misses the mark.Oprah’s podcast: Oprah Explores the Rising Trend of Going No Contact with Your FamilyMel Robbin and Karl Pillemer article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/26/opinion/thanksgiving-family-fighting.html Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 03:31 Oprah’s podcast 45:05 The Mel Robbins’ NYT article 58:15 Taking a break in December Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kate Gray (@codependencykate) is back with Whitney to react to one of the most iconic dysfunctional holiday dinners ever depicted on television: “Fishes” from The Bear (S2E06). They break down the infamous episode scene by scene, analyzing how anxiety manifests differently in each of the three siblings, Mikey, Natalie, and Carmy, in reaction to an emotionally volatile mother, Donna. Even if you haven’t seen the episode, you will almost certainly find a way to relate to Whitney and Kate’s breakdown of holiday gatherings and the ways we so often find ourselves trapped in roles we thought we'd escaped. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 02:44 Episode setup 09:58 The kitchen scene 18:38 Natalie and Donna 28:59 Dining room scene 41:28 Mikey throwing forks at Uncle Lee 46:47 Donna loses it at the dinner table Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney addresses one of her recent viral posts about why using therapy speak with family often causes more problems than is useful. She also breaks down a scene from the Peacock show "All Her Fault" about parentified sibling dynamics. Then she answers to listener’s questions about different sibling reactions to a narcissistic family and a mother’s competition with her daughter. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 00:55 Why you shouldn't call your parents emotionally immature 05:54 Breaking down a scene from Peacock’s All Her Fault 13:45 Listener question #1 18:22 Listener question #2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feeling guilty is one of the most common struggles for people stepping away from a dysfunctional family. Whitney explores how guilt is a learned response, not necessarily an evidence of wrongdoing, and why you were trained to believe that meeting your own needs harms others. She discusses the difference between guilt and grief, how family members use guilt to pull you back in, and offers practical tools for moving forward and coming to terms with these feelings.  Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 1:19 Why guilt shows up when you start doing life differently 03:04 Guilt is a learned response, not evidence of wrongdoing 12:22 Decentering 20:33 Statements for feelings of guilt 26:17 Building a life where you feel safe and supported Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether you're skipping the family gathering, still debating about whether to show up, locked in for a chair-arm-gripping dinner, or spending the day alone, Whitney has a few tips for getting through the next 24 hours.  Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 02:44 Shut the door on social media that will only make it worse 05:40 Practice radical acceptance of your situation 07:08 Expect people to be who they've always been 08:00 Protect your peace by only engaging where you need to 10:54 You're allowed to have a good time Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whitney teams up with Samantha Dalton, group facilitator at Calling Home and host of the Nuance Needed podcast, to unpack season three of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. As someone who grew up in the Mormon church and is still actively deconstructing, Samantha provides invaluable cultural context for understanding the relational patterns, power dynamics, and trauma responses playing out in the show. They explore how religion and culture interweave to shape everything from marriages and gender roles to emotional maturity and family loyalty, and how even reality tv moments can create powerful moments of destigmatization and healing for viewers who have dealt with similar experiences. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to [email protected] Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney’s book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Content warning: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, emotional abuse, and complicated relationship dynamics. 00:00 Introduction and content warning 01:43 Samantha's deconstruction journey 05:57 How Mormonism gets woven into every aspect of life 12:34 Early marriage and the impact on emotional development 23:51 Dad talk and coming to terms with their wives’ success 34:48 Therapy culture in the show 57:24 The power and consequences of sharing trauma on reality tv Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.