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Stress has gone down by almost every historical measure. Suffering has gone up. Those turn out to be different things. In this episode, attachment expert Adam Lane Smith sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Aaron Kheriaty to ask why despair is rising in a culture organized around comfort, what the attempt to eliminate all discomfort has cost, and what ordinary people can do for someone struggling. The conversation covers the research on loneliness and risk, why intervention works more often than people assume, and why small acts of attention matter more than they look like they should. If you’re struggling, please reach out. In the US and Canada, call or text 988. In the UK and Ireland, call 116 123. Elsewhere, findahelpline.com lists services by country. Private Coaching, Apply Here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/16iwyk 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=10/16iwyk In this episode you will learn:  1- Why reduced external stress has not produced reduced suffering  2- What deaths of despair are, and what has happened to the numbers since 1999  3- Why solitude and loneliness are not the same thing  4- The three reasons religious practice shows up as protective in the research  5- What people who survived a crisis later said about it  6- Why hopelessness predicts risk better than severity of illness does  7- Why more clinicians alone cannot solve a problem rooted in isolation  8- The paradox: how trying to eliminate all discomfort produces more suffering  9- Why addiction is that paradox in its clearest form  10- How joy and suffering can occupy the same moment  11- Three concrete things to do, and a gratitude practice with unusually strong evidence behind it Dr. Aaron Kheriaty, MD, is a physician specializing in psychiatry and author of five books, including most recently, Making the Cut: How to Heal Modern Medicine (2025). He is a Fellow & Director of the Program in Bioethics, Technology, and Human Flourishing at the Ethics and Public Policy Center Connect with me on your second preferred platform:  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

She had 7000 comments on a single matchmaking post. Thirty of those people are now married. Six babies have been born. And it all started because she asked one question: what if I just tried to help? Adam Lane Smith sits down with Emily and Daniel Hussem, co-founders of Sacred Spark, a Catholic dating app, to break down why finding a spouse has never been harder, what the collapse of friend and family networks has done to an entire generation of people who desperately want marriage, and what is actually working to bring good people together. 🚨 My biggest coaching sale of the year is on and you can save 30% on coaching. Apply Here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/8iwyk 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=10/8iwyk In this episode you will learn:  1- How couples used to meet, and what replaced it  2- Why friends have stopped introducing each other, and what that costs  3- What thirty marriages from a single matchmaking post says about unmet demand  4- Why a dating app's business model works against the outcome its users want  5- The difference between being ready to date and wanting to be  6- Why so many faith communities make marriage sound like an endurance test  7- What the research actually says about married life, and where the stereotypes come from  8- A hundred years of family networks breaking down, traced decade by decade  9- What leading and being led looks like in a marriage where both people are secure  10- Why brotherhood and sisterhood take pressure off a marriage rather than competing with it  11- Red flags compared with personal triggers, and the only way to tell them apart  12- Why "I don't feel a spark" after four months is usually about something else Emily Wilson Hussem - Co-Founder SacredSpark, Inc.   Emily Wilson Hussem is an internationally recognized Catholic speaker and author who shares her faith both online and at events around the globe. Emily has written 7 books, including the #1 Christian bestseller Sincerely, Stoneheart: Unmask the Enemy's Lies, Find the Truth That Sets You Free.   Daniel Hussem - Co-Founder SacredSpark, Inc.   Daniel Hussem is a husband, father of three, and a passionate Catholic with over a decade of experience in marketing, product strategy, and technology from the tech-startup world. Daniel holds a Master's degree in Business & Economics from Tilburg University in the Netherlands. Connect with me on your second preferred platform:  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Links: https://www.youtube.com/@emwilss  https://www.instagram.com/emwilss  https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielhussem/?isSelfProfile=false

Everyone said it could not work. Two avoidant people in the same relationship. Two people wired to pull back, protect themselves, and disappear the moment things get close. And then Carly and Mel proved everyone wrong. Adam Lane Smith sits down with couple Carly Randall and Mel Shingleton, two self-proclaimed avoidants, for a live coaching session that answers the question everyone in the comments has been asking: can two avoidant people actually build something real together? 🚨 My biggest coaching sale of the year is on and you can save 30% on coaching. Apply Here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/1 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=10/1 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social In this episode you will learn: 1- Why two avoidant people create a specific kind of relationship dynamic that looks fine on the surface and quietly starves underneath  2- Why avoidant people are not afraid of commitment they are afraid of the cost of being truly known  3- What emotional permanence is and why avoidant people struggle to hold onto the relationship when the other person is not in the room  4- Why the avoidant nervous system spikes when intimacy grows instead of relaxing into it  5- What context is and why it is the single most important currency two avoidant people have with each other  6- Why quarterly relationship check ins work better for avoidant couples than constant emotional processing  7- What it actually looks like when two avoidant people start doing the work in real time  8- The one thing avoidant partners need to say to each other that most of them never say Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

We have talked about masculinity and manhood on this show before. Today is the mature version of that conversation, going back to the oldest teachings we have. In this episode, attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith sits down with His Eminence Metropolitan Jonah, retired primate of the Orthodox Church in America, rector of St. Herman's Church and Abbot of St. Demetrios Monastery, for a conversation about what forms a man.  💬  Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/24 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/24 In this episode you will learn: 1- Why so many young men have no working model of a man, and what that costs them 2 - What it looks like for a father to nurture, and why the word gets mocked online 3 - Why a father's role with a son and with a daughter cannot be filled by anyone else 4- The distinction between servant leadership and authority that serves itself 5 - Why male friendship has thinned out, and the Russian word for the friend who is your other self 6- Why a marriage cannot carry every burden both people bring home 7 - The third way between swallowing every feeling and collapsing into all of them 8 - What asceticism actually asks of you, and why self-control is a threshold of maturity 9 - The nous, the two aspects of the mind, and what the Western tradition left behind 10 - Why responsibility without shame is the mature form of all of this Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Metropolitan Jonah was born James Paffhausen in Chicago to a German American Episcopalian family, and was raised in Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Diego. While studying at the University of California, he discovered the Russian Orthodox Church and was received into the faith in 1978 at age 19. After completing his BA in Anthropology at UC Santa Cruz, he attended St. Vladimir's Seminary, earning both a Master of Divinity and a Master of Theology in Dogmatics. He later worked in real estate finance and for the OCA Diocese of the West, and resumed doctoral studies in theology at Berkeley before traveling to Russia in 1993, where he became a novice at Valaam Monastery. Upon returning to the United States, he was ordained a hierodeacon and then a hieromonk in 1994, serving St. Mary Magdalene Mission in Merced, California, and helping to establish several new missions.

ADHD, attachment, trauma, anxiety, and stress can look surprisingly similar. So how do you know what you’re actually dealing with? Adam Lane Smith sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Steven Storage to unpack what ADHD really looks like, how it affects relationships, what a proper assessment involves, and where medication, sleep, nutrition, movement, and behavioral work fit in. 💬  Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/17 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/17 In this episode you will learn: 1 - Why overlapping symptoms make self-diagnosis unreliable, and what curiosity is actually good for 2 - Why a diagnosis explains behavior without excusing it 3 - How growing up with ADHD features can shape attachment, including through a parent with the same wiring 4 - What the condition involves beyond attention: time blindness, impulse control, task initiation, and thought loops 5 - Where the strengths sit, and what happens when hyperfocus lands somewhere other than the relationship 6 - Why the quiet, high-achieving kid is often missed while the disruptive one is caught early 7 - What a thorough assessment includes, and why medication is one tool rather than the whole plan 8 - Practical systems: the five minute rule, the Eisenhower matrix, timed sprints, and breaking distant goals into visible wins 9 - For parents: why yelling works in the moment and costs you later, and what connection over correction looks like 10 - For partners: written lists over spoken ones, clear targets, shared activity, and time-limited conversations Links:  IG: https://www.instagram.com/drstevenstorage/  YT:  https://www.youtube.com/@dr_steven_storage/shorts  Dr. Steven Storage is a doctor at the Amen Clinics in California. He is a diplomate of the Medical Board of California for Physicians and Surgeons and a diplomate in both Child/Adolescent and Adult Psychiatry for the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. He graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, magna cum laude with a degree in molecular and cell biology and earned his medical degree from the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine.  Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

Trying harder to fix your marriage can leave you exhausted, resentful, and convinced you’re married to a man who doesn’t care. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with The Surrendered Wife author Laura Doyle to challenge what happens when fear turns into control, why stepping back can give a capable husband room to step forward, and how desire, receptivity, gratitude, and respect can change the dynamic between husband and wife. 💬 Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/10 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/10 🎥 Watch my main channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg  In this episode you will learn: 1- Why overperforming in your marriage can leave you feeling like the only responsible adult 2- What can happen when you stop automatically taking over and give your husband room to contribute 3- Why “he doesn’t care” may not tell the whole story when your husband doesn’t know what would actually make you happy 4- How the phrase “I would love…” communicates a desire without turning it into criticism or a demand 5- Why receiving help, affection, gifts, and care can be difficult for women who are used to handling everything themselves 6- How gratitude can change both the way you see your husband and the way the two of you respond to each other 7- Why respect and a clean apology can restore connection faster than defending or explaining your criticism You don’t have to carry every responsibility, anticipate every problem, and manage your husband into becoming the partner you want. Sometimes changing the marriage starts with making your desires clear, allowing him the opportunity to respond, receiving what he gives, and noticing what happens when you stop treating control as the only thing keeping your life together. Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

Disembodiment rarely announces itself. It can look like fatigue, unexplained aches, trouble concentrating, or difficulty feeling close to the people around you. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with embodiment expert Mark Walsh to unpack what happens when we stop listening to the body, and how rebuilding that connection can help you feel more present, connected, and human again. 💬 Ready to work with Adam and his team? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 📋 Learn your attachment style - take Adam’ free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27  👥 Free Secure Attachment Community - 7k+ members: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 🔒 Join the inner circle - get weekly live training from Adam and his Coaching Team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 In this episode you will learn: 1- Why the body whispers, then sings, then screams, and what it costs you to keep turning the volume up over it 2- What Mark calls the psychological apocalypse, and why the collapse may have already happened  3- The four connections modernity severed: to the body, to community, to nature, and to a higher power  4- Why treating yourself as a machine is the same habit that lets you treat everyone else as one 5- What co-regulation actually is, and why it’s more than therapy 6- Why chasing pleasure as a cure tends to land people somewhere worse 7- Where to start: one embodied practice you can fall in love with, and how to pick the one that fits what you're missing You don’t need to think your way back into connection. Sometimes the way back to yourself, other people, and the world around you starts with learning to inhabit your own body again. Mark is an expert in embodied learning, emotional intelligence, and practical psychology. His work focuses on helping individuals and organizations improve their performance and well-being through the mind-body connection. He has a fascinating background, with extensive training in martial arts, mindfulness, and various psychological disciplines. Mark has also taught in over 50 countries, including working with the UN and humanitarian projects in war zones.  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏 : https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🎥 https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam/videos 🧵Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Mark Walsh:  🎥YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Theembodimentchannel 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warkmalsh/  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embodimentunlimited  🌐 Website: https://embodimentunlimited.com/

Adam Lane Smith celebrates three years of the I Wish You Knew podcast by reading your wildest comments, answering your most pressing questions, and sharing what he has learned from three years of conversations with guests from every walk of life. In this special episode Adam reflects on the shows that surprised him most, the moments that changed his thinking, and what he believes the future of men and women in relationships actually looks like. No guest. No script. Just Adam, your comments, and three years worth of things he wishes you knew. Looking for more way to learn from Adam? 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 👉 ADAM'S YOUTUBE LECTURES: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam?sub_confirmation=1 👉 FREE SKILL DEMONSTRATION - Turning Back the Damage: The Live Relationship Repair Session. See what secure communication and real relationship repair look like in action with Colin Safranek and Alyssa Mullen, and register free to watch live on August 26th. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/skill-demo-registration?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 👉 Watch my latest Masterclass replay to learn The Pattern Breaker Method and the secure repair skills that can help rebuild emotional safety, reduce defensiveness, and create meaningful change https://youtube.com/live/uF5WfsiBVyU  👉 Ready for more? My Secure Circle Plus community has it all - live training sessions, masterclasses, skill demos, and more: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/22iwyk Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/

Most women use therapy as a metric for whether a man is ready for marriage. Most couples therapists are operating from a framework that was never designed with men in mind. And one licensed professional clinical counselor has seen enough that he is leaving the field entirely. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Jeff Saint James, licensed professional clinical counselor and men's issues specialist, to break down what modern therapy is getting wrong about men, why couples therapy is failing husbands at an alarming rate, and what women need to understand about the men they love that nobody in the mental health field is telling them. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why therapy as a metric for a healthy man is one of the most misleading filters women are using today  2- Why the couples therapy field is operating from assumptions that actively harm men and what those assumptions are  3- Why paternity fraud is one of the most underreported and destructive forces in modern relationships  4- Why men in survival mode cannot express their needs and what happens to a relationship when that continues for years  5- What masculine leadership actually looks like and why it is not what most women were told to be afraid of  6- Why gratitude and respect do more for a marriage than almost any therapeutic intervention  7- Why men and women are suffering in the same relationships without either one being able to see what the other is carrying If you love a man and want to understand what is actually happening inside him, this is the conversation that will change how you see him. Jeff St. James is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), relationship strategist, and host of the Ask a Brotha podcast. Combining clinical expertise with candid cultural commentary, he helps people build emotionally safe, accountable relationships while tackling modern dating, emotional safety, and family dynamics. 👉 Reserve your spot for this FREE masterclass and learn the conversation and secure repair skills that help you lead change, even when your partner has given up. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 👉 Jeff St. James is a licensed clinical counselor in the process of leaving the therapy field because it keeps allying against the men it was supposed to help. If you want to understand what healthy masculine leadership actually looks like, the FREE Secure Circle is where that conversation keeps going. Join free: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 👉 Too much couples therapy puts the man in the villain seat before the work even begins. Secure Circle Plus takes a different approach: coaches hold both partners accountable while teaching the attachment skills that rebuild connection through courses, practicums, and direct Q&A. Upgrade: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/13 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/

You are genuinely loved. Your partner is loyal. And you still cannot breathe out and relax all the way. That is not a character flaw. It is a biochemical problem. And it has a biochemical answer. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Sue Carter, the world's leading expert on oxytocin and vasopressin bonding, to break down exactly why some people cannot feel safe even when they are safe, what chronic fear does to the body over a lifetime, and what the science of love hormones actually tells us about how human beings bond, heal, and survive. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why you can be genuinely loved on paper and still be physically unable to feel that safety and what is actually happening in the body when that occurs  2- Why oxytocin is an extraordinary molecule and a terrible drug and what that distinction means for every person buying oxytocin spray  3- Why stress is not inherently bad and why shared challenge is actually one of the most powerful bonding mechanisms available to couples  4- Why the body encodes negative experiences differently than positive ones and what that means for people trying to heal  5- Why fathers who help raise their children live measurably longer and what the research says about sociality and longevity  6- Why novelty and shared experience produce more bonding than sitting on a couch together ever will  7- Why love connection and oxytocin are nature's medicine and why you cannot buy them on the internet If you have ever wondered why safety feels impossible to feel even when it surrounds you, this conversation will give you the science behind what is happening and what can actually change it. 👉 Join my Free Attachment Community - The Secure Circle. You get exclusive lives, videos, access to my team, and more! https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 👉 Ready for more? Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for the complete attachment program, including courses, live masterclasses, coach-led practicums, workshops, Q&As, a private community, and session archive. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/6 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/

Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Aaron Kheriaty, psychiatrist, medical ethicist, and author of Making the Cut, to break down what modern psychiatry is getting catastrophically wrong, why the chemical imbalance model is not just incomplete but actively harmful, and what actually heals people when medications and therapy alone are not enough. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why reducing mental illness to a chemical imbalance in the brain has produced a generation of people who believe they will never get better  2- Why psychiatrists are seeing numbers on a sheet instead of people and what the system that created that looks like from the inside  3- Why physical activity four times a week is as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression and why nobody tells patients that  4- Why relationships are the single strongest predictor of outcomes even in the most severe mental illnesses including schizophrenia  5- Why people in third world countries with schizophrenia often do better than people in industrialized nations and what that reveals  6- Why modern life has become voluntary solitary confinement and why dopamine binges have replaced human connection  7- Why the loneliness epidemic cannot be solved by more therapists and what actually has to happen instead  8- What Dr. Kheriaty would change about American psychiatry if he had absolute power and control If you have ever been handed a prescription and sent home and felt like something essential was being missed, this conversation will show you exactly what that something was. 👉  Start building secure attachment in the FREE Secure Circle. Get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 👉  Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today:  Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/30 Aaron Kheriaty, MD, is a physician specializing in psychiatry and author of five books, including most recently, Making the Cut: How to Heal Modern Medicine (2025). He is a Fellow & Director of the Program in Bioethics, Technology, and Human Flourishing at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. He also serves in consulting and advisory roles at the Brownstone Institute, the Zephyr Institute, the Paul Ramsey Institute, and the Simone Weil Center for Political Philosophy.  https://x.com/AaronKheriatyMD  https://www.aaronkheriaty.com/

He built one of the most controversial dating sites in the world. He told every woman upfront on day one that he did not believe in marriage. And then he met Dana. And everything changed. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Brandon Wade, founder of Seeking.com, and his partner Dana to break down what it actually takes to win an avoidant man's heart. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why Brandon spent years believing love was a concept invented by poor people and what changed his mind  2- Why radical honesty on a dating profile attracted the right person faster than anything else  3- Why dating apps give you quantity but why quality requires something completely different  4- Why 65 percent of couples once met through family and friend networks and what the collapse of that has done to modern relationships  5- What women are actually looking for underneath the surface and why financial safety is not gold digging  6- Why men who pursue skill mastery and competence are automatically more attractive and how Brandon proved it  7- Why avoidant men build layers of ego and what the one thing is that finally brings those walls down  8- What secure attachment actually looks like inside a real relationship between two people who almost never found each other If you have ever wondered whether an avoidant man can actually change, this conversation is your answer. 👉 Join my Free Attachment Community - The Secure Circle. You get exclusive lives, videos, access to my team, and more! http://links.adamlanesmith.com/free-secure-circle  👉 Ready for more? Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for the complete attachment program, including courses, live masterclasses, coach-led practicums, workshops, Q&As, a private community, and session archive. Join today: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/plus-secure-circle  💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/23 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/23 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/23

She lost her mother to a brain aneurysm. Then three years to the day, her 26 year old husband died of a heart attack. She was a therapist who had studied grief and still felt completely unprepared for what it actually felt like.  Adam Lane Smith sits down with Amy Morin, therapist and bestselling author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do”, to break down what mental strength actually is, why resilience is not the same as just bouncing back, and what people with anxious attachment specifically need to hear about building the capacity to survive hard seasons without losing themselves. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why resilience is not about bouncing back and what mental strength actually looks like from the inside  2- Why stopping certain behaviors is often easier and more powerful than starting new ones  3- What learned helplessness is and why understanding it changed everything about how Amy works with people  4- Why anxiously attached people are uniquely vulnerable to the 13 thinking traps that drain mental strength  5- Where the line is between helping someone grow stronger and accidentally making them helpless  6- Why chasing someone who disrespects you costs you more than the relationship ever gave you  7- What to do when you are at the bottom and even the thought of doing 13 things sounds like too much  8- How to teach your children emotional regulation without hiding your hard moments from them If you have ever sat on the worst day of your life and wondered how you are going to get through it, this is the conversation you need to hear. 👉 Join the next masterclass in the FREE Secure Circle community and learn how to build secure relationships. https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 👉  Surviving your worst days takes more than pushing through. Real strength grows from secure attachment. Start building secure attachment in the FREE Secure Circle. Get access to the community, foundational resources, support from others on the same journey, and weekly insights. Join today:  Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 👉 Strength is not a feeling, it is a skill you practice. Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today:  Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/16

He did everything right. Stayed loyal. Showed up for his family. And one day in Florida he found out his wife had been having an affair. That was the moment everything he thought he knew about himself collapsed. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Ralph Brewer, author of The Dead Bedroom Fix and founder of Dad Starting Over, to break down what actually happens to a man after infidelity and divorce, why so many men get stuck trying to recover alone, and what the woman who loves a divorced man needs to understand about the fear he is still carrying. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why discovering infidelity destroys a man's existential safety at the deepest level  2- Why so many men attach themselves to the wrong woman and ignore red flags for years without knowing why  3- Why a man who hates his wife still tries to pursue her and what he is actually looking for  4- Why the divorced man is hesitant to commit again and what his hesitation is really about  5- What the woman dating a divorced man needs to know about the wounds he is still carrying 6- Why men try to recover alone and why that almost always makes things worse  7- What the single most important thing is a man in a dark place after divorce can do right now 8- Why the lone wolf mentality is one of the most dangerous lies men tell themselves If you love a man who has been through divorce and cannot figure out why he keeps holding back, this conversation will show you exactly what he is carrying and what he actually needs from you. Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro   X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith 👉 A divorced man's guardedness is rarely about you. Understand attachment, access foundational resources, and join a supportive community in the FREE Secure Circle. Join today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/9 👉 Understanding his past is the start. Loving him well through it takes skills you can practice. Upgrade to Secure Circle Plus for weekly masterclasses, skill demonstrations, and guided exercises that move you from learning into doing, plus my best courses, coach Q&As, and a private community. Join Secure Circle Plus today: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/8 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/8 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/8 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=7/8 Ralph Brewer is the author of REBUILD, The Dead Bedroom Fix, and other bestselling books for men. After rebuilding his own life following divorce, he now helps hundreds of thousands of men through his books, podcast, and the Help For Men community. My most popular book: deadbedroomfix.com The Brotherhood: helpformen.com/join

Money is in the top three reasons for divorce in America. But most couples fighting about money are not actually fighting about money. They are fighting about safety, worth, and trust. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Rachel Cruze, financial expert and bestselling author, to break down why money fights are almost never about money, what your attachment style is doing to your finances, and how to finally get on the same page with your partner before the fight becomes a crisis. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why avoidant people hoard money and anxious people overspend and why both come from the same wound  2- Why joint accounts get more hate on social media than any other financial advice and what that reaction actually reveals  3- Why the prenup conversation is not about divorce but about whether you are building a team  4- Why four generations of women were told men cannot be trusted and how that is running marriages today  5- Why money fights are marriage problems in disguise  6- Why the man who earns more and still feels worthless is an attachment problem not a financial one  7- Why working together to pay off debt improves marriages even when nobody taught a marriage class  8- What to do when one partner is a saver and one is a spender and neither can understand the other  9- Why 49 percent of Gen Z women say having children is no longer important and what is underneath that number If money has been a source of fighting, hiding, or distance in your relationship, the problem probably started long before the bank account did. 👉 Avoidant people hoard money. Anxious people overspend. Both patterns come from the same wound, and neither one gets fixed by a budget. To learn more about your attachment style and how it affects how you handle money, join the free Secure Circle to get access to weekly deep-dive videos, monthly masterclasses, and monthly Q&As. Start here: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/free-secure-circle  👉 Earning more but still feeling empty? Hiding money from someone you love? That’s not a finance issue. That’s attachment. Secure Circle Plus helps you change the pattern for good with courses, live sessions, and direct Q&A with Adam’s team. Upgrade here: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/plus-secure-circle  💬  Work with Adam Lane Smith and his Certified Attachment Coaches to repair your attachment style and build healthier, lasting relationships http://links.adamlanesmith.com/priv-coaching    📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/free-quiz  📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: http://links.adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup   Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro   X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith Rachel Cruze: - Two-time #1 national bestselling author and financial expert. - Host of The Rachel Cruze Show and co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour. - Has served at Ramsey Solutions since 2010, teaching budgeting, debt-free living, and personal finance. - Public speaker since age 15, speaking to audiences of up to 10,000 alongside her father, Dave Ramsey. - Featured on major media outlets including Good Morning America, Today, CNN, Fox & Friends, and Live with Kelly and Ryan. - Believes anyone can take control of their finances, avoid debt, and build a life they love. - Follow Rachel on: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@TheRachelCruzeShow  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rachelcruze  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@rachelcruze Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rachelramseycruze