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Send us Fan Mail Phoenix chose her name for what the phoenix represents: rebirth and transformation. In this conversation she shares her journey through three versions of herself: growing up in religion, stepping into a “high vibe” spirituality that turned out to be spiritual bypassing, and the season she’s in now, learning to slow down, ground, and truly live from the heart. We talk about why “just up your vibe” isn’t love, how leaving religion taught her to take ownership instead of blaming the devil (or waiting on God), and why she’d rather manifest an open heart than material things. We also explore the difference between forgiveness and release, forgiving yourself for what you didn’t know, Ho’oponopono, and giving from wholeness instead of ego. Connect with Phoenix on FB: https://www.facebook.com/SAVVYPHOENIX/ Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail When a brown recluse spider bite landed Teal in the hospital for weeks, everything else came apart with it: her job, her friendships, her sense of autonomy, even her hair. She calls it the darkest period of her life, and the most transformative one. In this episode, Teal shares how she learned what unconditional love is from her mom, her best friend, and her husband. She talks about the night a meditation told her “your soulmate is in Paraguay,” and how a pots-and-pans band in third grade connects to the creativity she’s reclaiming now. We talk about outgrowing people, the dark night of the soul, and finding hope again when you’ve lost it. If you’re in it right now, on the couch and finding your way out, this one is for you. In this episode: [00:32] Growing up in Kansas, a family car accident at nine months old, and a chaotic but happy childhood[04:29] What love meant as a child, and the people who showed Teal unconditional love[07:39] “Your soulmate is in Paraguay”: the meditation that changed the direction of her life[10:42] Who she had to leave behind, and what happens when we won’t end what we’ve outgrown[12:58] The spider bite, the wedding, and doing all the hard things at once[14:22] The dark night of the soul, and why every loss had a purpose[18:20] What Teal would say to the version of herself in the darkest moment[19:46] How marriage became her biggest mirror[23:28] What the hardest seasons gave her: hope, creativity, and gratitude[26:07] Co-creation, collaboration, and being a lifelong learner[30:31] For anyone in the dark right now: visualization, tiny steps, and keeping hope[34:09] Choosing to love yourself in it, not once you’re out of it[41:07] What unconditional love means to TealAbout Teal Teal lives in Kansas with her Paraguayan husband and their cats. She studied psychology with a Spanish minor and spent a year living in Paraguay at 19. She’s a lifelong creative who is rediscovering herself through crochet, painting, music, and deep conversation. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail What do you do when the place that once kept you safe no longer fits who you are becoming? Rosemary was born in Connecticut and raised in the 2x2s, the same church I grew up in. She professed at 10 years old, standing up beside her younger sister at a convention. For years, meetings were her safe place: the one space where everything was quiet and she could speak and truly be listened to. But slowly, she began to feel restricted in what she could share. She noticed the perfectionism, the shame, and the messages about mistrusting the self. She realized she could no longer bring her authentic spiritual thoughts into the room. Within this past year, she made the brave, conscious choice to step away. This conversation is told from the messy middle, and that is exactly what makes her story so powerful. She is the first guest I've had on the podcast who has very recently left, and sharing while you are still in it takes a whole different level of courage. In this episode we talk about: Growing up in the 2x2s and why meetings felt like a safe placeLeaving slowly and consciously, rather than in one big momentPerfectionism, shame and feeling restricted in what you're allowed to sayShifting from a God outside of us to a God within us, in others and in natureWhy our relationship with ourselves is our relationship with GodMoving from obligation to free will when it comes to taking time for yourselfA simple grounding practice for coming out of the head and home to the heartWhy inner-child work can feel different for those of us raised in high-control religionHow the body carries our relationships and what it is trying to tell usFinding new community after leaving, one step at a timeWhat unconditional love means: putting yourself first, and giving and receiving without obligationMentioned in this episode: Unitarian Universalist congregations (uua.org)If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who is standing in their own in-between. And if you'd like support on your journey of coming back home to yourself, you can find me at lydiakeeney.com. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail What if the hardest seasons of your life were part of a game your soul chose to play? And what if you could learn the rules? This week on Unconditioning Love, Lidi talks with Ketty. Ketty was born in Paris to a family from Guadeloupe and raised by a single mother, who gave her an unusual gift: the freedom to choose her own path. She became a professional dancer and a marketing strategist. She spent ten years running a youth association in one of the toughest areas outside Paris, and later became a life coach and NLP practitioner in the Netherlands. Then, after COVID, came a burnout and a deep depression. She had been trying to please everyone, and it brought her to the edge of wanting to disappear. From there Ketty began six months of going inward. She became a "detective" of her own life. She met the ancestral trauma of slavery she had carried without knowing it. And she discovered that loving herself was what finally let her love other people without conditions. In this episode: How a childhood that felt harsh turned out to be her mother's greatest giftThe moment she heard: "I didn't do it, you did it to yourself," and how accountability replaced victimhoodRumi's "you are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop," and what it means to live as the oceanViktor Frankl's space between action and reaction, and how Ketty uses it to meet racism and ignorance with understanding instead of a fightWhy words are spells, and how what we say shapes the field we live inGoing back to the child who made the first choice, and thanking them for keeping you aliveWhy falling back is not starting over ("when you fall back, you jump further")Spiritual bypassing: why knowing something in your head isn't the same as your body living itKetty's advice for anyone in the dark right now: start with one small thing, like making your bed, and build momentum from thereChapters: 00:00 Welcome, and Ketty's story from Paris02:04 Dance, giving back and ten years with youth03:30 Moving to the Netherlands, burnout and depression08:49 Talking to God and becoming a detective of her own life11:20 Returning to her roots and ancestral trauma13:04 The Game of Life and How to Play It14:45 The ocean in a drop16:49 The space between action and reaction22:00 A childhood dream: "everything is already here"23:25 Mirror-based therapy and her new school34:29 Words as spells40:10 Life as a game we play together48:03 A bridge for anyone who can't believe life could be a game yet52:26 Falling back, and why the nervous system needs time57:08 Spiritual bypassing: connecting mind, body and soul1:02:05 Coaching from lived experienceResources mentioned: The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel ShinnConversations with God by Neale Donald WalschMan's Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklRumiConnect with Ketty: Instagram Facebook A note of care: this episode includes talk of depression and suicidal thoughts. If you're struggling, please reach out to someone you trust or a local crisis line. You don't have to walk through it alone. 💛 Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail In this first video episode of Unconditioning Love, Lydia goes solo — her scheduled guest couldn't make it, so instead she opens up about what it means to be in the messy, uncomfortable middle of transformation. Using the image of a caterpillar dissolving into goo before it can become a butterfly, Lydia talks about why "stuckness" isn't a life sentence — it's a phase. She shares what's coming up in her six-week coaching container (currently in week three with five students), reflects on her own journey out of church life and into a therapist who finally "spoke her language," and offers real, accessible tools — like EFT tapping and meditation — for staying grounded while everything familiar dissolves around you. If you've left a system, relationship, or belief that no longer fits and you're standing in the unknown wondering when it'll make sense again — this episode is for you. It won't, yet. And that's okay. In this episode: 0:00 – Going solo & why video, now — Lydia's first video episode, and her intention to keep editing minimal so the conversation stays real and human.0:48 – What "holding space" actually means — The podcast's purpose: unconditional love as a doorway back to your own light, not just surface-level "consciousness."2:44 – Inside the 6-week coaching container — How week one (telling your story in 6–10 minutes) and week two (building your "movie script") help people find their through-line.4:22 – The caterpillar goo metaphor — Why being stuck is temporary, why it looks different for everyone, and why pulling yourself out too soon can do more harm than staying in it.6:14 – Building a new "safe" — What to do when the people and places that used to hold you don't anymore — and why leaving doesn't erase what you gained there.8:33 – Finding a therapist who speaks your language — Lydia's own search for the right support after leaving the church, and a therapist's insight that this shift was inevitable all along.12:20 – Why discomfort ≠ lack of peace — Untangling the belief that peace has to feel comfortable, and why movement — even shaky movement — is the real signal of growth.16:38 – Tools for the goo — EFT tapping, meditation, and how Lydia is using her own move within Argentina as a live practice in tolerating the unknown. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail For most of his life, Aaron knew God as a father figure far off in the sky — watching, judging, keeping score. That's the God you often inherit growing up in the 2x2s (also known as "the Truth," or "the church with no name"). In this episode, Aaron and I trace what happened when that image finally cracked open for both of us, and what came through it: God not as a distant patriarch but as energy, everywhere, in everything, in us. We talk through the image that we're each a drop, and God is the ocean, which means we were never separate from it to begin with. We were never waiting to earn our way back in. We were carrying it the whole time. We also talk about something that doesn't get named enough: what it does to a person to grow up not just believing you're unworthy, but surrounded by an entire community quietly carrying that same belief about themselves. It's not one father figure handing down judgment; it's hundreds of people agreeing on it together, which makes it feel less like a belief and more like just how things are. From there we go deep — into the things that happened to us that felt senseless and cruel at the time, and what it means to find them happening for us instead. Not spiritual bypassing. Not "everything happens for a reason" as a platitude to swallow the pain faster. Something slower and more honest: meaning that gets made, not handed down. If you grew up inside a system that told you exactly who God was and exactly how far short you fell of Him, this conversation is for you. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail Episode summary Kara grew up four generations deep in the 2x2 religious group — and she left. In this conversation, she takes us into what it was like to grow up in an environment where love had to be earned, where God was someone to fear rather than know, and where the words "I love you" were rarely spoken out loud. Kara shares the one bright exception in her memory — her great-aunt and uncle, deeply "in" the institution, whose home was somehow still full of fun, humor, and love — and traces the slow, honest unraveling that began the moment she became a mother. In this episode What it was like growing up believing love was conditional and God was mostly to be feared, and how rare it was to hear "I love you" at home.The one exception: her great-aunt and uncle, fully committed to the institution, whose house was somehow full of laughter and warmth Becoming a mom to twin daughters as the pivot point — the moment Kara started counting all the rules her girls would inherit, she couldn't stop thinking about what it would mean for her girls to carry those same rules into school and everyday life.The small acts of loosening the reins — starting with how her daughters were allowed to dress outside the community — as her first quiet steps away.A gutting moment at a church convention: after one of her daughters lost all her hair during a health crisis, another woman told Kara her daughter "didn't deserve to be at convention with short hair." The place Kara had believed was the safest for her children turned out to be where they were treated as less than.Kara never bought into the exclusivity — but for years, she went along with it anyway.The pivotal conversation: her daughter showed her a tattoo, and the two of them talked openly about the possibility of leaving the meetings someday — Kara admitting she didn't believe the meetings were the only way. That conversation cracked something open.The fear that came with finally deciding she had to step out — not fear of leaving the religion, but fear of telling her husband, and not knowing whether their love was conditional too, or whether it could survive her walking away.Where Kara is now: reconnecting with God in her garden and through worship music — a quieter, freer kind of faith than the one she grew up with.Featured song: "Hope Says" A closing note Kara's story doesn't end in anger — it ends in a garden, with worship music playing, and a faith she gets to choose for herself. If any part of her story is your story too, we hope this episode reminds you: love was never supposed to be something you had to earn. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail What if the thing you thought was loyalty was actually control? In this solo episode of Unconditioning Love, Lidi shares years of consciously healing through one of her deepest limiting beliefs: I am worthy by how much I help people. She traces how that belief showed up as the rescuer — A.K.A. running into the fire to pull people out, whether anyone asked her to or not — and what it cost her to keep living that way. From there, she opens up the conversation on loyalty, naming it for what it so often really is: love plus control. Because if we're honest, how can any of us truly know what someone else needs? That question becomes the hinge of the episode, as Lidi lays out the difference between the rescuer and leadership — and why leadership, not rescuing, is what actually creates lasting influence. This is a conversation about letting go of the fire, trusting people with their own path, and finding out what's on the other side of needing to be needed. In This Episode Years of consciously healing through the belief that she needed to save other people, and what finally made it loosen its gripNaming the limiting belief underneath it: "I am worthy by how much I help people"What the rescuer actually looks like day to day — A.K.A. running into the fire to pull people outReframing loyalty as love + control, and the question that unravels it: how can we really know what someone else needs?The difference between the rescuer and leadership modeWhy leadership means moving forward and stepping boldly into the new, doing what's right regardless of whether everyone followsInfluence vs. control — why one is sustainable and the other isn'tWhat it feels like to stop rescuing and start leadingSupport the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail In this short reflection, Lydia explores how growing up in high-control religions taught many of us to live outside of ourselves, to mistrust our inner knowing, outsource authority, and disconnect from our own hearts. She reflects on how hymns and teachings often functioned like subliminal messages, subtly training us to doubt our instincts and place trust in leadership, rules, and external voices rather than within ourselves. Over time, this separation from self became normalized—and even spiritualized. This episode gently unpacks what it looks like to begin the journey back to ourselves. Lydia shares why this return isn’t something that can be forced, scheduled, or achieved through another set of “musts.” Healing doesn’t happen through legalistic thinking, timelines, or pressure. Instead, it unfolds slowly, organically, and in its own rhythm. At the heart of this episode is an invitation: to trust your wholeness, exactly as you are right now and to let your reconnection to yourself flow in the way it needs to. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Julie Jancius, host of the Angels and Awakening podcast, for a heartfelt conversation about faith, divine connection, and spiritual evolution. Julie shares her personal journey of growing up within the Catholic tradition and finding her own intimate relationship with the divine beyond religious structure. Together, we reflect on how miracles are often quieter than we expect, how they unfold through presence and openness, and how we can soften our resistance to receive what is already trying to reach us. This conversation isn’t about striving or proving anything, but about remembering, listening, and allowing. If you’ve ever wondered whether miracles are reserved for a select few, or if they can exist within ordinary moments, this episode offers a gentle reframe and an invitation to see your life through a more spacious, trusting lens. Here is the link to connect with Julie and her beautiful offerings & click here to connect to her podcast over on Spotify or simply search "Angels and Awakening" on your podcast app and you'll find it. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of Unconditioning Love, we wrap up the Tangled Up mini-series, where we have been exploring women’s experiences in the 2x2 religions and how leaving has transformed their relationship with identity and self-expression. Yvette Hughes shares her journey of embracing her naturally curly hair within a culture of conformity. Growing up in South Africa’s coloured community during Apartheid, Yvette faced pressure to straighten her hair to fit societal and religious expectations. Her story highlights the beauty of self-acceptance, the quiet rebellion/beauty of staying true to herself, and the freedom she’s found since leaving the church. Thank you, Yvette, for sharing your beautiful story with us. PS: I used the help of Chat GPT to bring these show notes together Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail Unconditioning Love – Tangled Up (Episode 3) In this episode of Tangled Up, we delve into an excerpt from Cherie Kropp’s life story and explore the profound impact of hair, traditions, and questioning authority within the 2x2 high control fellowship. Cherie’s poignant reflections reveal the tension between blind adherence to tradition and the courage to choose compassion and truth over rigidity. From navigating tender-headed hair battles to questioning the theological basis of women’s roles and appearances, Cherie shares how she sought clarity and truth through study and logic, despite resistance. We discuss themes of: •Breaking free from guilt and shame perpetuated by man-made traditions. •The power of questioning practices and beliefs that do not align with love or scripture. •Choosing compassion over compliance, especially in parenting. •The emotional toll of navigating fallacious reasoning and the pursuit of Biblical truth. Cherie’s courage to challenge the status quo, seek answers, and forge a path of authenticity provides insight for anyone navigating the complexities of leaving high-control systems. Read the full excerpt from Cherie Kropp’s life story: Kropp – Cherie Berry.  New Program: Sound Alchemy Are you ready to create lasting transformation and step into a life of creative self-expression? Join Sound Alchemy, a 1:1 program combining music, healing, and creativity to unlock your unique voice and song. Doors are open now! Sign up here: Sound Alchemy Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail Episode Summary: In the second episode of the Tangled Up mini-season, we hear three powerful anonymous stories from women reflecting on their complex relationships with hair in fundamentalist religious environments. These stories reveal how hair became a symbol of conformity, control, and, eventually, liberation. Each story brings a unique perspective on the emotional weight of hair, its connection to identity, and the healing journey that comes with reclaiming it. The Stories: A Childhood Defined by Criticism: A woman recounts how a childhood condition caused her hair to fall out in patches, leading to harsh judgment from her church community and peers. She shares how this constant scrutiny tied her hair to feelings of worthiness and rebellion—and how, even now, she struggles with embracing her hair as her own.Breaking Free from Expectations: Another woman shares her lifelong struggle with familial and religious expectations around her hair. From longing for a childhood haircut to finally choosing a bold bob in her 30s, her story highlights the anxiety and eventual freedom of taking control of her appearance—and how she’s raising her daughter to embrace her own identity, free of shame.Learning to Love Hair Again: A 37-year-old reflects on her journey of unlearning years of “hiding” her hair, once seen as her “glory” in the church. She opens up about the frustration of not knowing how to style or care for her hair and the joy of discovering her authentic self, one small change at a time.Themes Explored: The lifelong impact of religious and cultural expectations around hair.How hair becomes a battleground for conformity, identity, and rebellion.The emotional and liberating process of reclaiming autonomy over one’s appearance.Join the Conversation: Your voice matters! Share your thoughts or your own story with #TangledUpIn2 on social media.Follow me on Instagram: @keeney.lydiaVisit www.lydiakeeney.com to connect, submit your story anonymously, and access additional resources.Acknowledgments: To the three women who shared their stories: thank you for your vulnerability and courage. Your words will resonate with so many others who are on their own journeys of healing and self-discovery. Stay Tuned: Next week, we’ll conclude the Tangled Up in 2 mini-season with a broader exploration of hair, faith, and identity—and how women continue to reclaim power and self-expression. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to Unconditioning Love for the start of Season 2! We’re diving into the first installment of our special mini-series, “Tangled Up.” This series unpacks the profound connection between women, their hair, and faith communities. In this episode, we begin with a fascinating share from a history teacher who provides critical context on Paul’s writings about women and hair in the Bible. They explain the cultural and historical backdrop of these teachings. Here is an article that dives into this topic a bit deeper. From there, I read deeply personal, anonymous stories shared by women who’ve experienced the weight of these expectations firsthand. Through their accounts, we hear how hair became a symbol of devotion, control, and eventually, freedom. Their journeys from conformity to self-liberation reveal the power of reclaiming one’s identity. Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music

Send us Fan Mail In today’s mini-episode, we’re bringing some lighthearted laughter to balance the heaviness of the current political climate. Get ready for a fun, nostalgic ride as I share two funny, embarrassing stories from my childhood years growing up in a religious community. From sleepwalking adventures at a convention to other unexpected, cringe-worthy moments, these stories might make you laugh out loud (and maybe remind you of your own awkward moments). Tune in to take a break, laugh a little, and find some joy in the shared human Support the show 1:1 Trauma-Informed Coaching with Lydia Share your story on the podcast Instagram & Threads Spotify Music