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After escaping a series of turbulent relationships, Heather finds hope in a charismatic and attractive bodybuilder. However, she soon becomes ensnared in a web of drug addiction, sex, pornography, and psychological manipulation. The relentless abuse drives her to multiple suicide attempts, leaving Heather’s life hanging in the balance. **This episode contains explicit content including descriptions of sexual assault, physical abuse, image-based abuse, pornography, drug abuse, child sexual abuse, psychiatric situations, and the loss of a child. Listener discretion is advised.** music | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres (001-003) by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, cybercutie, TheoJT, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, Samuel Kamau, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay stay aware | follow | share (heather)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/ story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

Nillie grew up under the pressure of her family’s traditions and expectations, especially when it came to finding a husband. She falls for an older man whose attention feels like love, but quickly turns into control. Trapped in a marriage marked by shame, abuse, and fear, she stays for years—until one terrifying night changes everything. ** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of strangulation and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.** music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) stay aware | follow | share (nillie)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

After a childhood marked by bullying, anxiety, and insecurity, Ariel turned to drugs and alcohol to numb her pain. As her addiction deepened, she became caught in a cycle of unstable relationships and risky behavior, eventually meeting a man who took advantage of her vulnerabilities and drew her into a relationship that placed her recovery—and ultimately her life—in danger. **This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of physical assault, emotional abuse, drug abuse, death, and animal abuse. Please listen with caution.** music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) stay aware | follow | share (ariel)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

Cait thought she had found a safe and loving relationship—until cocaine, heavy drinking, threats, and escalating violence exposed the terrifying man behind the charm. Then came a brutal hours-long attack that left her fighting for her life, followed by stalking, a controversial release on bail, and a prosecution that ultimately failed. ** This episode contains explicit content, including sexual assault, graphic descriptions of physical assault and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.** music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) stay aware | follow | share (cait) https://www.instagram.com/cait.alexander/ https://www.instagram.com/endviolenceeverywhere https://caitalexander.com/ https://endviolenceeverywhere.org/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/cait-alexander-1aa40944/ National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788  https://www.thehotline.org/ https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/ story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below. submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfear E-mail | [email protected] Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/ subscription linksAmazon Music https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApple https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feed https://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rss Want to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

After a childhood marked by abuse and instability, Channelle spent her teenage years searching for love and safety wherever she could find it. When a next-door neighbor and his family welcomed her in, it felt like the stable home she had always longed for. But what began as comfort slowly twisted into control and abuse. She eventually escaped—until a chance reunion revealed the man she once trusted had become a predator who refused to let her go. **This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, physical and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.** music | soundsVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) stay aware | follow | share (channelle)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.E-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

After a traumatic childhood, Jaimee yearned for peace and stability. She found temporary solace in a long-term marriage, but when it ended, she was drawn to a charismatic and charming man. However, beneath his appealing exterior lay a dark reality. As the relationship unfolded, it spiraled into psychological control, emotional and physical abuse. Caught in a dangerous and toxic situation, Jaimee soon found herself in a battle for her life. ** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, physical and emotional abuse. Please listen with caution.** quotes“I was in an extremely vulnerable place…I was in a real crossroads in life. My marriage was breaking down. I was very alone. I was lacking this love, lacking attention, lacking validation.” - Jaimee“…he was so hot and cold, so he would be super charismatic and flirty and then all of a sudden would kind of shift and become quite offhand or even slightly rude.” - Jaimee“He called me so many names that night and I was just so taken aback. It's the first time I'd ever seen this side. I was a bitch. I was a slut.” - Jaimee“I was just an absolute mess inside and out. My body was shutting down. I shook all day. I shook all day constantly. I had anxiety attacks constantly.” - Jaimee“…and he locked the car doors and he drove off away from my driveway. And he said, I fooled you. I tricked you.” - Jaimee “I really thought that he said to me, I'll f*****g kill you. I'm gonna f*****g kill you. And I thought, okay, I really am gonna die here.” - Jaimee “That's seriously, one of the biggest things I've learned is you just, you can't, you can't outrun your trauma. It will catch you at, at some point, unless you, you face it and you deal with it.” - Jaimee topics | #DysfunctionalFamily #AbusiveRelationship #ChildhoodTrauma#CopingMechanisms #ToxicRelationships #Manipulation#LoveBombing #EmotionalAbuse #Control #AssaultSurvivor#Isolation #MentalHealthMatters #LeavingAbuse #TraumaHealing#SurvivorStory #HealingJourney #SupportSurvivors #EndAbuse#YouAreNotAlone #Resiliencemusic | soundsLost Place Atmospheres 002  & Just Deep 1 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by: Alex Wit, cybercutie, Samuel Kamau, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, AlesiaDavina, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabaystay aware | follow | share (jaimee)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

As Lisa rises to fame in the modeling world, her ambition takes her around the globe. What starts as a dream life quickly unravels when she becomes the target of a dangerous sexual predator. Exploited by those in power, she refuses to stay silent, putting herself at risk to uncover the truth and protect others from the same fate. ** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, human trafficking, and coerion. Please listen with caution.** quotes"I definitely always had this personality where I like to have a voice." - Lisa"As I became a model in my teens, it was like. The mid nineties, right? So we had all these supermodels and every little girl wanted to be a model." - LisaI've had certain experiences that I always felt like I could handle." - Lisa"His whole demeanor changed. He was definitely very, very different at this point. I felt like I couldn't leave the room." - Lisa"It just changed everything for me and my trust in men for my body, my trust in myself." - Lisa "They cannot be silenced anymore. That's where the shift is going to change, because when people, yes, are assaulted, they're speaking out where predators have always relied on the fact that all the victims stay silent." - Lisa topics | #Healing #Transparency #Modeling #Identity #Podcasting #Trauma #Empowerment #Predators #Boundaries #SelfDiscovery #Grooming #Assault #Trust #Relationships #SelfPerception #Mentorship #PowerDynamics #EmotionalImpact #Abuse #ModelingIndustry #SpeakingOut #SurvivorStories #Corruption #PersonalGrowth music | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Other Music and Sound Effects by: Alex Wit, cybercutie, freesound_community, Geoffrey Harvey, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, AlesiaDavina, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay stay aware | follow | share (lisa)https://www.instagram.com/iamlisaphillips/https://www.youtube.com/@fromnowonpodhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/from-now-on/id1766405014https://open.spotify.com/show/1vOhoPrOkwIyCNApzsBlF8https://www.tiktok.com/@fromnowonpodhttps://linktr.ee/fromnowonpod National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

After enduring sexual harassment in her early teens, Lynn turns to older men for comfort as she enters adulthood. She becomes pregnant by an abusive partner, faces the heart-wrenching decision of abortion, and suffers further assault. Despite her longing to heal, she becomes caught in toxic cycles, growing increasingly isolated and trapped. Driven by the need to end the cycle of abuse, she fights to break free. ** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, physical abuse, and abortion. Please listen with caution.** quotes“I developed very fast. I felt like I almost went from being a little girl to being a young woman, who was leered at and gawked at…” - Lynn“They became abusive…you never knew what kind of person you were gonna get with him.” - Lynn“…there's no way that I'm gonna get pregnant. and that's exactly what happened.” - Lynn“A few months later I got a phone call from the father of the baby, from my previous boyfriend, He broke into the house in the middle of the night. He walked into my bedroom, scared the hell out of me. And then in the morning he had left me this incredibly creepy note that said, amongst other things, I just wanted to watch you sleep.” - Lynn“…that was his way of getting me away from everything that I knew, my job, my friends, my hometown, any connection that I had to anyone to get me alone in a new state to isolate me.” - Lynn“I encourage everyone out there who has experienced any type of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical, psychological, sexual, to find a good outlet.” - Lynn“I feel like every time I tell the story, now that I gain a little bit of myself.” - Lynntopics | #Relationships #EmotionalAbuse #ToxicDynamics #Trust #SelfWorth #AbusiveRelationships #EmotionalManipulation #SexualAssault #ToxicRelationships #RedFlags #Support #Silencing #Fear #Trauma #Reporting #Assault #GenerationalTrauma #Healing #Partnermusic | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres (001-003) by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, cybercutie, TheoJT, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, Samuel Kamau, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabaystay aware | follow | share (lynn)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/Hope Alliance https://www.hopealliancetx.org/To assist those whose lives have been affected by family and sexual violence by providing safety, services, and developing partnerships that lead to hope, healing, and prevention.To provide hope of future generations through prevention and be a leader in saving and transforming lives affected by family and sexual violence.End Violence Against Women Internationalhttps://evawintl.org/We confront interpersonal violence against adults and adolescents of all genders. We specialize in trauma-informed law enforcement responses—from the first interaction with a victim through the investigation and potential prosecution. Positive outcomes for survivors require everyone working together, so we also champion collaborative practices, with multidisciplinary training for health care providers, prosecutors, advocates, and others who respond to survivors.The National Training Center on Crimes Against Womenhttps://trainingcaw.org/The National Training Center on Crimes Against Women (NTC) is a state-of-the-art facility in Dallas, Texas that provides year-round training for those addressing violence against women. Leveraging the rich history of the Conference on Crimes Against Women, NTC offers learning opportunities ranging from basic to advanced levels. Additionally, NTC builds community in the region by hosting free events, even those outside its primary focus areas.story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

Lauryn’s romance with her movie theater coworker spirals into a toxic cycle of heartbreak, doubt, and obsession, leaving her emotionally crushed but driven to prove her instincts right. quotes "...in middle school when girls and boys were starting to pay more attention to each other. And I had crushes, but they were not reciprocated..." - Lauryn “At the time, I was just like, we're going to be together forever. We had talked about it. You're the love of my life. I'm the love of your life.” - Lauryn "He breaks up with me, I'm devastated, I start to move on, he calls me, we get back together, he starts to pull away again." - Lauryn "I'm crying and sobbing, and I wake my parents up. I wake my mom up, and I tell her…I feel like I'm going to die and I will do anything to make this pain stop." - Lauryn "I'm begging him, begging him, please just break it off with me. I can't do this anymore. I know that you're cheating on me. I know something's going on. I feel it. He was like, I know that we've been through a lot, but you have to learn to trust me." - Lauryn “Most people that know me, I guarantee you would be like Lauren would rather eat glass than sit around and let someone disrespect her because it's not who I am. But back then, it was who I was…” - Lauryn topics #romanticmovies #toxicrelationships #heartbreak #infidelityandbetrayal #selfesteemjourney #comingofagestory #emotionalrecovery #lifeafterheartbreak #loveandselfdiscovery #cheatingandrecovery #teenageromance #lovecycles #findingyourself #healingafterheartbreak #toxiclovepatterns #copingwithbreakups #romanticizedlove #boundariesinrelationships #heartbreaktohealing #redefininglove #trust #stability #doubts #cheating #breakup #devastation #infidelity #confrontation #betrayal #trauma #mentalhealth #recovery #chronicillness #podcasting #awareness #support #podcast music | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, Yevhenii Kovalenko, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay stay aware | follow | share (lauryn) Women Deliverhttps://womendeliver.orgAn Unwavering Advocate for Girls and Women – Women DeliverWe’re a global advocacy organization guided by one end result: that every girl and woman exercises her rights to full bodily autonomy and health. National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/ story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/ subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rss Want to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review. Thank you for your support!

Allyn meets a captivating man who swiftly declares his love, asks her to be his girlfriend, and proposes. But as their long-distance relationship deepens, she uncovers his lingering connection with an ex, leading her down a dark path of deception.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:40) about allyn(02:38) allyn’s story(56:35) questions & answers(01:01:54) closing thoughts(01:02:40) charity & organizations(01:03:10) submit your story(01:03:21) disclaimerquotes“My criteria was something more serious and committed in hopes of finding my person in marriage and all the things that I had kind of been shown and was striving for in life…” - Allyn“He was all the things that I hadn't experienced in conversations prior with people, and that was something that really drew me in and that I appreciated about him.” - Allyn“Within less than a week, he told me that he loved me. That was right after our first FaceTime, within probably twenty minutes of us getting off the phone. At that same time, he told me that he wanted to have kids with me, couldn't wait for me to be their Mom.” - Allyn“Within two hours, probably two hours of being there, I was with his mom…and his mom was with me and she ended up on the phone, on speaker with someone. And they said, Allyn and, and him are going to be coming by, they're with us now, we'll all be together later or something. And the person said, who's Allyn? Who's that? I can't keep track of them.” - Allyn “And I leaned down, pull something, and out comes lingerie from under his bed. And I just froze. And I look under there, and there's also a woman's shirt and a purse. And I'm thinking really fast, how do I want to handle this?” - Allyn“...but, in my mind, I was just waiting for, we were waiting for something to happen with his work, we were waiting for a green light on something, and again, he left me in limbo. I just felt like a weird suspended state.” - Allyntopics#datingjourney #onlinedating #datingapps #socialawkwardness #whirlwindromance #commitment #engagement #intertwinedfamilies #engagement #honesty #secret #trust #stability #housing #ex-girlfriend #frustration #gaslighting #doubts #cheating #breakup #devastation #infidelity #confrontation #devastation #anger #remorse #cover-up #betrayal #trauma #mentalhealth #recovery #chronicillness #podcasting #awareness #support #podcastmusic | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres 002 & 003 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, Yevhenii Kovalenko, Geoffrey Harvey, Cybercutie, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabaystay aware | follow | share (allyn)Podcast | When Heaven Meets Hellhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/when-heaven-meets-hell/id1757647021https://open.spotify.com/show/0Ck1Xm1rqmu8BgEUbZpyfEhttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/596cc7d9-1ad4-4777-838a-8680c1b62cf6/when-heaven-meets-hellInstagramhttps://www.instagram.com/allyn.amerongen/Allyn Amerongen: Coaching. Speaking. Community.https://doingitdespite.com/War Party Movementhttps://warpartymovement.com/At War Party Movement we're about having "less thunder in the mouth, more lightning in the hand." We are fiercely committed to taking action in breaking cycles of abuse and fundamentally changing the way women are treated, across the country and particularly in Native communities, through our 501(c)3 non-profit War Party Ranch. We provide opportunities for women and girls to create working and life skills that foster independence and self reliance in all aspects of their lives and in all future endeavors.National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

After her divorce, Lorraine sought advice from a shaman, who encouraged her to let others take the lead. She started taking dance classes and began dating her partner, who eventually revealed himself to be a manipulative and controlling narcissist, drawing her into a cycle of escalating abuse. **This episode contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, racism, and mental, emotional, and physical abuse. Listener discretion is advised.** quotes “I decided to take therapy sessions from a shaman. And she said to Lorraine, you have problems being led.” - Lorraine“I always already checking off all the boxes of how could I be the helper in this the Savior in this relationship?” - Lorraine“...she said, it took me eight years to get my life back together after what he did to me. And she said, This man will break you down until you are absolutely nothing.” - Lorraine“I would often lock myself in rooms to get away from him because sometimes things became violent…” - Lorraine“...the Police officer flips open his gun, puts his hand on his gun and says to me, are you resisting arrest? And that's when it hit me. I'm like, Oh my God. I am a black English speaking woman in a French speaking province. I am f****d.” - Lorraine“We keep our head up and we walk strong and we believe in God. And we believe in higher power, and we believe in kindness, and that's what's kept me through.” - Lorraine music | sounds Music (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres 002 & 003 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, Yevhenii Kovalenko, Samuel Kamau, Cybercutie, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay stay aware | follow | share (lorraine) Go Fund Me Page: https://gofund.me/5bd8a430Narcissism The Comedy Night: https://www.montrealimprov.com/shows/narcissism-a-comedy-nightNarcissism The Improvised Musical : https://www.montrealimprov.com/shows/narcissism-the-musical-a-fundraising-eventInstagram:www.instagram.com/thestarparentpodcastWoman Aware: https://www.womenaware.ca/Natalie Bedard better known as NatNatEnergy Healing Specialist: Regulating the Nervous System and Relieving Emotional and Mental Pain Through BreathworkWebsite: www.LiftOneSelf.comIG: Https://instagram.com/liftoneselfFB: Https://facebook.com/liftoneselfPodcast:https://liftoneself.buzzsprout.comYoutube:https://m.youtube.com/@LiftOneSelfPodcast National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/ story submission information  If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below. submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/ subscription links Chartablehttps://link.chtbl.com/lovelustfearAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rss Want to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review. Thank you for your support!

At seventeen, Terra is captivated by a charismatic classmate who exploits her need for attention, leading them into a troubling cycle of drug abuse and criminal behavior. Terra's physical addiction to him only serves to deepen the toxicity within their relationship.**This episode contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, murder, suicide, mental, emotional, and physical abuse, and drug use. Listener discretion is advised.** quotes“I found myself leaning into the attention whenever I would get it. And then when the attention would stop, I would seek it out.” - Terra“…but then he smoothed things over. He was just so good at explaining everything so good at covering everything up.” - Terra“With him coming into my life with him even bringing the drugs and creating that addiction, it created an addiction in the relationship with him.” - Terra“It made me feel like I had to have my phone on me all the time. I need to answer him right away. I need to, be there for him. And, if I didn't answer that message, then I got punished.” - Terra“I say before you even think about making that comment of ‘she should have left’ or ‘she chose this’ is go and do the research of how hard it is to leave. Go and do the research of what your brain actually looks like when you're in this toxic relationship.” - Terra music | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres (001 - 003) and Neon City by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, Yevhenii Kovalenko, Cybercutie, AlesiaDavina, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from PixabaySpacetime by Mountaineer stay aware | follow | share (terra) https://seasonofjustice.orghttps://www.terranewellsurvival.com National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/ I'll Take The Stairs Merch 25% of Sale Proceeds go to Season of Justice!https://www.terranewellsurvival.com/shop/page/2/ Book a 1 on 1 call! HTTPS://linktr.ee/terranewell  Sign up for the podcasting course! https://coaching.terranewellsurvival.com August 5th Moving Past Trauma Course https://coaching.terranewellsurvival.com/moving-past-trauma-5-week-workshop/ Join Terra in Sedona September 13th-16th 2024! Email [email protected]  Terra’s 30 Day Trauma Journalhttps://square.link/u/DvXXYN27  Exclusive Content on Patreon!http://patreon.com/Terrasbaddyclub story submission information  If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below. submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/ subscription links Chartablehttps://link.chtbl.com/lovelustfearAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rss Want to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review. Thank you for your support!

Emma seeks comfort in the arms of a former client whose initial charm and good looks give way to his darker traits, trapping her in escalating emotional turmoil and abuse. quotes“All in the same week, I lost a dog, a job, a relationship, and a house. It was just like one of those things where your world is completely turned upside down and you're very vulnerable, right?” - Emma“I run into Ben again, and Ben is somebody that women do see and say, wow, that guy's very attractive. And, we exchanged numbers and decided to go out for drinks one night… within a couple weeks, he had said, I want you to be my girlfriend.” - Emma“He'd always kind of put on this good face for other people and then if there was any sort of stress or something that he perceived as a stress it would set him off.” - Emma“My sense of safety around him, I think I was always aware that the day could be a bad day or like, I hope he's not in a bad mood and anything could really put him in a bad mood.” - Emma“And I said something like, you're really scaring me, and all of a sudden he goes looks at me and he goes ‘you should be scared’ and he puts his foot on the gas like all the way, you know, ninety miles an hour swerving, screeching, whipping around and I'm just absolutely freaking out.” - Emma“I didn't want to give him the power to ruin romantic love for me or the idea of a relationship for me, I wasn't going to do that.” - Emmamusic | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres (001 & 002) by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Franco Gonzalez, Cybercutie, Geoffrey Harvey, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from PixabaySpacetime by Mountaineerstay aware | follow | share (emma)Kimberly Weekshttps://www.thenarcissisticabusecoach.com/National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksChartablehttps://link.chtbl.com/lovelustfearAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

After her marriage is shattered by betrayal, Debra turns to alcohol, descending into addiction. Despite her efforts to maintain sobriety, she becomes entangled in a toxic relationship with an enabler who subjects her to emotional abuse, manipulation, and coercive control.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:38) about debra(02:18) debra’s story(27:03) questions & answers(34:50) closing thoughts(35:36) charity & organizations(36:15) submit your story(36:26) disclaimerquotes“...but the end of that marriage is where I learned to equate chemicals with avoiding pain…alcohol became a problem pretty quickly for me.” - Debra“I just like continued to choose worse and worse partners along the way because I lost my self-respect.” - Debra“So, within record time, I'm like fired from my great job, already have given up the house that I had just re established. And so, at this point, I'm pretty realizing that I'm dependent on him.” - Debra“Anything I told him, any vulnerability I shared with him would become his weapon the next time. It would be whatever he would control me with or, something to make me feel bad about.” - Debra“And the closure will come when you finally see you are enough. Nobody else is going to make you more, you are fine as you are. and it's not something that you can just read a self-help book and get there, but you know, there's people that can help. Help you to see it.” - Debraguest links | debraThe Alternative Hair Alchemist | Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alternative-hair-alchemist-a-podcast-about/id1627588998music | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/)Other Music and Sound Effects by Cybercutie, Geoffrey Harvey, Alex Wit, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from PixabaySpacetime by Mountaineerstay aware | follow | share (debra)National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholismhttps://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/niaaa-middle-school/helpful-resourcesThe mission of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism is to generate and disseminate fundamental knowledge about the adverse effects of alcohol on health and well-being, and apply that knowledge to improve diagnosis, prevention, and treatment of alcohol-related problems, including alcohol use disorder, across the lifespan.National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksChartablehttps://link.chtbl.com/lovelustfearAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!

Following her divorce, Kenzi returned to her hometown and ventured into online dating, where she developed a promising friendship with romantic potential. However, the situation took a dark turn when Kenzi found herself subjected to his disturbing and abusive behavior.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:42) about kenzi(02:26) kenzi’s story(22:00) questions & answers(29:22) closing thoughts(30:19) charity & organizations(30:49) submit your story(31:00) disclaimerquotes“I started to really realize like, okay, I'm going to have to leave this marriage because if I don't leave this marriage at some point, I'm not so sure I'm going to make it out at all.” - Kenzi“I have got to rebuild my life. And I finally get to this point where I want to start the process of exploring dating.” - Kenzi“And he just looks me dead in the face. And he says, If you're not going or staying the night, I might as well just go ahead and get this over with.” - Kenzi“I'm just like, God, please let me get my shoes on and get the f**k out of here, like, please, just let me get the f**k out of here safe, like, please don't let anything happen to me.” - Kenzi“And what I would tell them is that you have no idea what somebody is going through until you are standing right in their shoes and you're put into the exact same situation. You don't know how you would react. You don't know how you would act. You don't know what you would say.” - Kenziguest links | kenziInside The Case | Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/inside-the-case/id1679471501Instagram | Kenzi Durbinhttps://www.instagram.com/thisiskenzi_/music | soundsMusic (CC BY 4.0):Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha EndeVery Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Other Music and Sound Effects by Franco Gonzalez, Jan Hill, Alex Wit, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, UNIVERSFIELD, and TheoJT from PixabaySpacetime by Mountaineerstay aware | follow | share (kenzi)National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)Text: START to 88788 https://www.thehotline.org/https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotlinehttps://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/story submission information If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfearE-mail | [email protected] | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/subscription linksChartablehttps://link.chtbl.com/lovelustfearAmazon Musichttps://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfearSpotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWecApplehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283RSS feedhttps://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rssWant to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.Thank you for your support!