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Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown is back. She is a triple board-certified sleep physician, founder of Restful Sleep MD, bestselling author, and coach for high-achieving women who want to prioritize sleep, optimize their health, and live to their fullest potential.  In this follow-up conversation, she and Dr. Erica go deeper into the hormonal roller coaster of fertility treatment, the particular challenges of shift work and call schedules, and what it actually takes to surrender to sleep the same way we surrender to the journey. This episode is for the female physician who is bone tired and still can’t turn off her brain at night. Dr. Funke has joined us before — catch her first conversation on the podcast here. In this episode: What restorative sleep actually means — and why your Oura ring doesn’t get to decideWhy waking up feeling like singing is the goal, and how to observe (not obsess over) what made it happenThe bedtime routine as sacred time: what to do in those 15-20 minutes before you ease into bedWhy the to-do list is not an emergency at 9 p.m. and how to actually give yourself permission to leave the dishes in the sinkHow hormonal shifts across the menstrual cycle affect sleep, and why some women are more sensitive than othersThe fertility treatment hormone roller coaster: sky-high estrogen, the progesterone crash, and what that does to sleepConditioned arousal: when the bed becomes a place the brain associates with wakefulness, and what to do about itWhen to get evaluated: snoring, teeth grinding, drowsy driving, and chronic insomnia that doesn’t respond to lifestyle changesPMOS and sleep apnea — and what Dr. Erica sometimes notices during egg retrievalsCognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBTI): the five pillars, stimulus control, and why thought detective work sounds a lot like what happens at Love & ScienceSurrender and sleep: why the harder you hustle toward sleep, the more it eludes youShift work sleep disorder — yes, it’s a real ICD diagnosis — and practical strategies for physicians who work nightsPre-shift naps, sunglasses on the drive home, and why melatonin is actually indicated for circadian rhythm disruptionThe melatonin dose most people get wrong (hint: lower is better)Supplements with actual data behind them: magnesium glycinate, ferritin, vitamin D, and the ones withoutMelatonin in the ovarian follicles: yes, reallyHow one OBGYN client realized she didn’t actually have to do 24-hour shifts, and what happened when she switched to twelvesFind Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown: Website: therestfulsleepplace.comInstagram & Facebook: @restfulsleepmdCourse: The Sleep Recovery Method™With Love and Science, 💜 Dr. Erica Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

This episode is for the female physician who knows her nervous system is on overdrive, has tried everything, and still hasn't found anything that actually works. Dr. Erica gets specific about what actually moves the needle on nervous system regulation, why it matters for fertility outcomes, and how to build a toolkit that works for your particular brain, body, and life. In this episode: Why Dr. Erica started Love & Science: what she saw in her patients, cycle after cycle, that made her realize the science alone wasn't enoughInner resources vs. outer resources — and why the inner ones are what matter the most on the fertility journeyWhy Dr. Erica will not do an embryo transfer on a dysregulated patient, and what she said to the one who told her it wasn't going to workThe thoughts running under the surface that are keeping the nervous system stuck in hypervigilance, and how to shine a light on themSelf-compassion as a nervous system tool: self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity — and The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff as a starting pointWhy yoga might be the prescription you've been dismissingFeeling your feelings as medicine: the journaling practice, the How We Feel app, and why "name it to tame it" is more than a coaching maximSensory restoration: flowers, weighted blankets, eye masks, soft things, and why the Danes were onto somethingThe voice of a loved one as a nervous system regulator, and why we don't get enough hugs as adultsPhysical self-soothing: hand on heart, rocking, tapping (EFT), and other tools from the Mindful Self-Compassion WorkbookThe 30-second physiological reset: three deep breaths, exhale longer than inhale, before the patient room or the fertility clinic doorWhy bubble baths are not going to save us, and what actually willWith Love and Science, 💜 Dr. Erica Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

This episode is part of the series on why certain specialties make the fertility journey uniquely painful. Today Dr. Erica turns her attention to psychiatrists and the particular sting of having every cognitive tool in the toolkit and still feeling like none of them are working. This episode is for the psychiatrist who is used to helping everyone else regulate and is exhausted by what it feels like when she can't do it for herself. In this episode: The disconnect between knowing all the right tools and still feeling completely dysregulated on the fertility journeyThe "I should be handling this better" trap and why having the tools doesn't mean you're immune to the journeyThe hormonal reality of fertility treatment and why even the most skilled clinicians are not immune to what it does to the body and brainExcuse me over here — "I'm just a human humaning": why embracing our humanity is the first and most important stepTrue self-care vs. what we tell ourselves self-care is, and what actually moves the needle on nervous system regulationWhy yoga might be the thing you've been dismissing that your nervous system actually needsGetting your own mental health support — therapy, coaching, or both, and why psychiatrists are not exempt from needing itNavigating privacy when seeking mental health care inside a system where you also workSelf-compassion as a tool: mindfulness, self-kindness, and common humanity — and one resource Dr. Erica highly recommends: The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristen Neff Why healing happens best in community, especially with other female physicians who are walking the same roadIf you are a psychiatrist on this journey, Dr. Erica sees you. With Love and Science, 💜 Dr. Erica Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

This episode is part of the series on why certain specialties make the fertility journey uniquely painful. Today Dr. Erica turns her attention to pediatricians — and the particular combination of triggers, professional identity questions, revolving door infections, and financial pressures that make this specialty its own kind of hard. This episode is for the pediatrician who has dedicated her career to children and is waiting, longer than anyone should have to, for one of her own. In this episode: Why being surrounded by children and babies all day is deeply triggering, from the clinic to the newborn serviceThe question that lands like a dagger: "Do you have kids?" and the moral hierarchy patients place on pediatricians who are parents versus those who aren'tWhy being a parent and being a good pediatrician are not the same thing and how to reconnect with that truth on hard daysThe revolving door of infections: how pediatricians get sick at higher rates and what that means for canceled cycles and setbacksThe financial reality: pediatricians are among the lowest-paid physicians, and fertility treatment is expensive, and how to start thinking about that differentlyMantras that help: "my time is coming" and why it works as more than just a feel-good phraseHaving a snappy, authentic answer ready for the kids question so it doesn't derail your whole dayMindful self-compassion as a daily practice: common humanity, self-kindness, and remembering that every family in your clinic has their own hidden strugglesWhy when the mind and body are connected, Dr. Erica sees things she can't fully explain: better egg retrievals, frozen embryos, even improved sperm countsHow to find your A team, arm yourself with knowledge, and stop carrying this aloneMentioned in this Episode: Getting Through the Day: The Emotional Toolkit for Female Physicians with Dr. Shivana Naidoo  Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

Dr. Alexandra Stockwell is back. In Part One, she and Dr. Erica tackled physical intimacy on the fertility journey. This conversation goes deeper — into the emotional disconnection that quietly builds when two people are navigating one of the hardest experiences of their lives together, but not quite together enough. This episode is for the couple who still loves each other and is struggling to find their way back to each other in the middle of all of this. In this episode: Why major stressors, and the fertility journey especially, bring the foundation of a relationship to the surfaceThe pain of not feeling seen by the one person who is supposed to get it mostWhy men and women are culturally conditioned to feel different emotions and what that means for how couples navigate this togetherUnfelt emotions as energetic cysts: what happens when we lance themA simple exercise for reconnecting with your own emotional landscape, bonus points if TID (three times daily)The most consistently problematic thing in committed relationships: when two people think they're having different conversationsHow to name the kind of fertility conversation you want to have before you have it, and why that one shift changes everythingWhat to do when you're on completely different pages about treatment: another cycle, donor egg, stopping altogetherThe practice of temporarily parking your own position and trying on your partner's perspective, and why it doesn't mean giving up your groundWhy curiosity is the opposite of certainty, and how it opens doors that defensiveness keeps shutZooming out to the shared vision: remembering what brought you here together before the fertility journey took overAppreciating who your partner is, not just what they do, and why that distinction matters more than you'd thinkFind Part One HERE. Find Dr. Alexandra Stockwell: Website: alexandrastockwell.comInstagram: @intimacydoctorBook: Uncompromising IntimacyPodcast: The Intimate Marriage PodcastApp: Intimate Connection Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

This episode is part of the series on why certain specialties make the fertility journey uniquely painful. Today Dr. Erica turns her attention to ICU physicians and hospitalists, and the particular combination of analytical thinking, altered sleep, hospital environments, and rumination loops that makes this specialty uniquely challenging. This episode is for the physician who can solve almost any clinical problem and is struggling with the fact that this one doesn't have a clear algorithm. In this episode: Why the well-oiled analytical brain that excels in critical care can become its own worst enemy on the fertility journeyThe difference between internal medicine's relatively clear algorithms and the data-free zones of REI, and why that gap is so disorientingAnalysis paralysis on the fertility journey: going down the PubMed rabbit hole at midnight and why it makes things worse, not betterThe hospital environment itself — fluorescent lights, altered sleep, limited food options, and a schedule that is hard on the bodyHow altered Circadian rhythms increase cortisol, inflammation, and sympathetic tone, and what that means for fertility outcomesThe hospitalist schedule: clustering appointments during off weeks, arranging call swaps, and what actually helpsWhy having a trusted REI and coach who can distill the science is the antidote to rumination, so you don't have to carry that mental load aloneEmbodiment as a tool, why some of the best thinkers have the hardest time dropping into their bodies, and why that matters for fertilitySmall acts of restoration in a hospital environment: finding a patch of sun, stepping outside, smelling the flowers by the cafeteria gardenFood as medicine: why investing in healthy meals delivered to your door is not indulgent, it's strategicTurning the inner critic into an inner coach, and why self-compassion actually improves performance, not just wellbeingTrusting the process when the algorithm is infinite and how to make an empowered, values-based plan. Than, how to let goWith Love and Science, 💜 Dr. Erica Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

One in four female physicians has infertility. One in three female surgeons does. And when you control for age, female surgeons still have worse fertility outcomes than their age-matched peers. This episode is part of the series on why certain specialties make the fertility journey uniquely painful, and today Dr. Erica discusses why female surgeons tend to have the worst statistics when it comes to fertility outcomes. This episode is for the female surgeon who has proven she can handle anything and is exhausted by what that costs her body. In this episode: The statistic that makes Dr. Erica want to punch a wall — and what the research actually shows about female surgeons and fertilityWhy age alone doesn't explain the gap: what else is going on physiologicallySleep dysregulation, long OR days, and call schedules that run through the night — and how that keeps the body in a constant state of stressWhy the body may interpret a 16-hour surgical day as a famine and what that means for the reproductive axisThe pattern Dr. Erica sees in surgeons: excessive exercise, often (but not always) low BMI, skipped meals, and a martyr complex that has become normalizedWhat one client learned when she finally scrubbed out at regular intervals and what happened nextTrauma from the job: why female surgeons carry a graveyard within them, and why that trauma has to go somewhereWhy endometriosis may have a deeper connection to unprocessed trauma than we realizeTrying to get pregnant like a man: the masculine energy that serves you in the OR and works against you in the fertility journeyConceiving is receiving — and what it actually takes to shift into a more receptive state without losing yourselfSelf-compassion as a clinical tool: why Dr. Erica will not do an embryo transfer until her patient is emotionally regulatedPractical strategies: negotiating call schedules, protecting the two-week wait, going per diem, and preserving the assetComing home to yourself: what it means to ask your body what it needs and actually listenOne in three is not acceptable. Dr. Erica is here to change it. Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

This episode is part of the series on why certain specialties make the fertility journey uniquely painful. Today Dr. Erica turns her attention to emergency medicine physicians and the particular combination of shift work, hyper vigilance, trauma exposure, and altered sleep that makes this one of the hardest lines of work to be in while trying to build a family. This episode is for the ER doc who is brilliant under pressure at work and exhausted by what that costs her everywhere else. In this episode: How shift work disrupts the circadian rhythm, increases inflammation, and keeps the body in a constant state of alertThe mind warp of caring for patients with unplanned pregnancies when you would give anything to be in their shoesWhy ER physicians are some of the most prepared, resourceful people on the planet and how that same hypervigilance works against them on the fertility journeyThe car full of emergency supplies: how disaster-prevention thinking translates into bracing for five failed transfers before the current one has even startedWhy ultrasounds in your work environment are not there for your use and how to define that relationship ahead of timeAuthentic hope as the antidote to hypervigilance: staying in the present moment rather than racing twenty steps aheadThe importance of processing trauma — not stuffing it — when you work in one of the most abusive, high-acuity environments in medicineWhy EMDR and trauma-informed therapy are especially relevant for ER physiciansPractical sleep strategies: anchoring a post-call sleep schedule, building a bedtime routine, and discovering Yoga NidraWhen going per diem is the right call and how to give yourself permission to make that choiceHow to use data on physician pregnancy outcomes to advocate for schedule modifications and why Dr. Erica helped a client write exactly that letterThere is a way through. Dr. Erica has seen it happen for ER physicians again and again, and she wants that for you too. Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

This one is personal. Dr. Erica is an OBGYN and REI who has navigated her own fertility struggles — and in this solo episode, she speaks directly to one of the hardest intersections she knows: being an OBGYN while desperately wanting a pregnancy of your own. This episode is part of a series on why certain specialties make the fertility journey uniquely painful — and obstetrics and gynecology may be at the top of that list. In this episode: The cognitive dissonance of caring for unplanned pregnancies and complicated OB patients when you would give anything to be in their shoesWhy being surrounded by pregnant people all day is genuinely triggering — and what one OBGYN client did about itThe OBGYN schedule: twenty-four hour call, no eighty-hour cap as an attending, altered sleep, and cumulative burnoutThe brilliant advice Dr. Erica received as a pregnant fellow: be the patient, don't scan yourselfDr. Robin Tiger's story: what happens when an unsupported scan reveals something unexpectedThe privacy paradox: wanting separation between your personal and professional life when your colleagues are also your doctorsWhy OBGYNs almost never have an uncomplicated pregnancy — and what birth trauma looks like when it's your own specialtyColleagues who are unsupportive — sometimes the least compassionate people in the building — and how to protect yourself from thatThe mantra that changed everything for one client: I am them, just not yetWays to tweak the job, bolster the mindset, and find a way throughIf this is your situation, Dr. Erica sees you — and wants to talk. Mentioned in this episode: Dr. Dympna Weil Episode Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

Dr. Alexandra Stockwell is a physician coach, intimacy and marriage expert, bestselling author of Uncompromising Intimacy, and host of the Intimate Marriage Podcast — ranked in the top one percent of podcasts globally. For over twenty years, she has helped high-achieving couples bring real connection back into every aspect of their relationship. In this episode, she and Dr. Erica tackle one of the most tender and rarely discussed topics on the fertility journey: what happens to intimacy when sex becomes either a medical protocol or something to be avoided entirely? This episode is for every couple who has felt the warmth and passion slowly drain out of their relationship — and wants it back. In this episode: Why sex during fertility treatment is fundamentally incongruent — and why naming that plainly is the first step toward changing itHow the binary thinking of "we can't have sex, so we stop touching altogether" quietly erodes connection — and what to do insteadWhy rules against ejaculation are not rules against pleasure — and what that distinction actually opens upThe upstream effect: how fertility treatment shrinks affection, non-sexual touch, and flirtation long before anyone realizes it's happeningWhy a woman's experience of genuine pleasure is one of the most generous things she can offer her partner — and how high-achieving women tend to skip past itReceptivity vs. passivity: why these are not the same thing, and how cultivating receptivity changes everythingThe mindfulness practice that takes thirty seconds and immediately increases sensation and connectionHow COVID-era dating accidentally created deeper relationships — and what couples on the fertility journey can learn from thatPractical next steps: holding hands, a real embrace, one small act of affection that doesn't create an existential crisisHow to listen to this episode together as a couple — and why you shouldn't do it like a good high-achieving student from start to finishWhy the fertility journey, as painful as it is, can become an opportunity for deeper intimacy than you've ever hadFind Dr. Alexandra Stockwell: Website: alexandrastockwell.comInstagram: @intimacydoctorBook: Uncompromising IntimacyPodcast: The Intimate Marriage PodcastApp: Intimate Connection Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

Dr. Dina Wilson is a hospitalist physician in Oregon, a fierce advocate for fertility awareness, and a mother who waited eighteen years to hold her son. Her journey spans misdiagnoses, six IVF cycles across multiple clinics, complete embryo arrest — cycle after cycle — a pandemic pregnancy, and a six-figure bill paid entirely out of pocket. She is now in the middle of trying for a second child. This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like the system is not designed for them, but they're not quite ready to give up on their dream of parenthood.  In this episode: How Dina was sent away by three OBGYNs in her 20's without an infertility evaluationWhy she and her husband shelved fertility treatment through medical school, residency, and debt repayment — and what that cost themWalking into her first IVF cycle completely naive — and planning a party around the retrieval dateThe phone call on day three that changed everything: complete embryo arrest, then cycle after cycle, across multiple clinicsWhat it felt like to be told by one of the most prominent REIs in the country that he wasn’t sure he had anything else to offerHow in vitro maturation (IVM) — a low-stimulation protocol with early retrieval — finally produced embryos that implantedGetting pregnant on her sixth IVF cycle with day three embryos, against all odds, right before the pandemic shut everything downThe guilt and shame that comes with being a physician who didn’t know what she didn’t know — and why that guilt is so expensiveSecondary infertility: what it’s like to want another child, and how the grief shifts but doesn’t disappearHow Dina finally learned to set boundaries at work so she could show up for her fertility treatment — including switching jobs to get the flexibility she neededWhy shame cannot survive in community — and what it means to share your story when you’re still in the middle of it Find Dr. Dina Wilson: Instagram: @doctordina Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

Male factor infertility accounts for nearly half of all infertility cases — and yet the male partner’s experience is often an afterthought, from the design of the collection room to the timing of the workup. Dr. James Kuan is a board certified urologist with more than twenty years of experience in men’s sexual health, founder and CEO of Sexual Medicine for Men in Seattle, and medical director of the Seattle Sperm Bank. He joined Dr. Erica for an incredibly candid conversation. This episode is for couples navigating the fertility journey together — and especially for the male partner who has been quietly struggling on the sidelines. In this episode: Why male factor evaluation is still treated as an afterthought — and why that needs to changeThe parking lot moment: what happens when a male partner can’t produce a sample on retrieval day, and why it’s more common than anyone talks aboutNearly a third of men develop new onset erectile dysfunction during fertility treatment — and what to do about itWhy simply being told “this is normal” resolves ED in a third of those men without any medicationThe case for REIs prescribing Viagra: it’s safe, it doesn’t affect sperm, and it’s no different than a pair of crutches for a sprained ankleWhy the male workup should happen in parallel with the female workup — not as an afterthoughtSperm as more than a USB drive: new data on what healthy sperm actually contribute to conceptionThe four I’s framework for inviting male partners into the process: invite, inform, involve, interveneWhy sex during fertility treatment shouldn’t only be mechanical — and what actually happens to outcomes when intimacy declinesThe two to four day rule for abstinence before a sample — and how most couples are making it harder than it needs to beDesire mismatch, communication, and why foreplay starts at the kitchen sinkED and abnormal semen analysis as canaries in the coal mine for broader men’s health — including cardiovascular disease and testicular cancerA critical warning: testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) is bad for sperm — if your partner is on it and you’re trying to conceive, see a urologist nowWhy it’s okay for the fertility journey to be a little messy — and why that messiness doesn’t mean you caused it to failFind Dr. James Kuan: Instagram: @drjameskuanNewsletter: sexafterretirement.comPractice:  https://jameskuanmd.carrd.co/ (Washington state patients only) Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

Dr. Erica and Dr. Jessie Mahoney — pediatrician, triple-certified coach, and founder of Pause and Presence — share the same birthday: July 30th. When they discovered they were birthday twins, sitting down to mark it together felt like the obvious thing to do. And the conversation was so good they decided to make it a tradition. This is their latest installment. What started as a fun idea has become something more: a yearly ritual of honest reflection, shared wisdom, and the kind of conversation that only happens between two people who are genuinely doing the work. In this episode: What each of them is most proud of from the past year — and why pausing to notice pride is its own practiceDr. Jessie’s TEDx Talk on “What Would Love Do” — and what it actually took to make it happenThe Lita role: why showing up creatively for the people you love matters more than proximityDr. Erica’s decision to resign from her fellowship director position — and how self-kindness was the thing that finally provided clarity and courage to make a hard decisionSurrender as a cellular experience, not just a cognitive oneWhat happened when Dr. Erica stopped trying to date — and what showed up insteadWhy rest is uncomfortable even for people who teach it — and why that doesn’t mean it’s wrongFemale friendships as non-negotiable: putting them on the calendar like everything else that mattersThe lesson that came with a stress fracture (Dr. Jessie) and a spinal fracture (Dr. Erica): the body will make you rest if you won’t do it yourselfWhat a woman with stage IV cancer said two days before she died — and why Dr. Jessie hasn’t stopped thinking about itThe birthday wish they’re both carrying into their next year: we had so much funFind Dr. Jessie Mahoney: pauseandpresence.comPodcast: Pause and PresenceLast years Birthday Episode Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

Dr. Tina Adams is a double board-certified OBGYN, certified life coach, former burned out physician, and host of the Navigating Possibility podcast. She helps women physicians break free from survival mode — and in this episode, she and Dr. Erica dig into what happens when that survival mode collides with the part-time job of infertility. This is a conversation about anger, agency, emotional regulation, and what it actually takes to find your voice inside a system that was never designed to support you. In this episode: Dr. Tina’s path from full-scope OBGYN to OB hospitalist and certified coach — and why restructuring her clinical job opened up possibilities she never anticipatedWhat the stressed out brain actually looks like neurologically — and why adding the fertility journey on top is so destabilizingWhy medicine trains us to have no needs — and what it costs us when we believe itThe mantra that anchors so much of this work: I deserve to be a patientAnger as a messenger: what it’s trying to tell you, why women in medicine have been conditioned to suppress it, and what to do with it insteadWhy allowing an emotion moves it through you — and why resisting it keeps it stuckThe downstream benefits of doing this emotional work now: it doesn’t just help the fertility journey, it makes you the parent you’re working so hard to becomeLegislative advocacy for fertility coverage: what’s working, where the gaps are, and why self-insured institutions are a problem even in mandated statesPractical tools you can access now, such as the Five Calls app: )the lowest-lift way to use your voice with legislators) and the RESOLVE toolkit: ready-made templates for asking your employer for fertility coverage and time to focus on your fertility journey Find Dr. Tina Adams: christinaadamsdmd.comPodcast: Navigating PossibilityInstagram: @christinaadamsdo2Facebook & LinkedIn: Christina Adams MD Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove

Dr. Rachel Welbel is a PM&R physician, a Love & Science community member, and today she's four weeks postpartum with a daughter she wasn't sure she'd ever have. Her journey spans three years, multiple retrievals, canceled cycles, a heartbreaking loss at 16 weeks, failed transfers, a chemical pregnancy, and diagnoses that came in layers — each one another thing to absorb and move through. What brought her through wasn't one breakthrough moment. It was slow, quiet, hard-earned surrender. In this episode: The loss that started it all — and the decision no one prepares you forWhy IVF felt like the logical answer, and why the journey turned out to be far more complicated than expectedThe diagnoses that kept coming: adhesions, a possible stage IV endometriosis diagnosis, Lupron suppression, canceled cycles, a chemical pregnancyWhat the shift toward surrender actually looked like — and why it took months, not a momentBecoming genuinely okay with other outcomes: gestational carrier, child-free living, one child instead of twoThe mantra that carried her: the more control I relinquish, the more control I actually feel — because the control was never mineStanding in Auschwitz with the hope that her ancestors were blessing her new pregnancyThe Love & Science tools that helped most: common humanity, authentic hope, and the physician-only communityHonest postpartum reflections: grief alongside gratitude, and why she never wants to forget what it felt like to still be waiting Support the show As always, please keep in mind that this is my perspective and nothing in this podcast is medical advice. If you found this conversation valuable, book a consult call with me using this link: https://www.loveandsciencefertility.com/private-fertility-consult Follow us on social media: IG: www.instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility FB: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183 Please don’t let infertility have the final word. We are here to take the burden from you so that you can achieve your goal of building your family with confidence and compassion. I’m rooting for you always. In Gratitude, Dr. Erica Bove