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Jim worked a gig where the security briefing covered bombs, weapons and, at far greater length, collapsible chairs. Jackie was very clear. No chairs. He also ate a cheeseburger from the hot counter of Piccadilly Spar at 3am. Raw onion, leather patty, worse than a Rustlers. Elsewhere: Fran smuggled a bottle lid into a festival in her bra, Dave found an old Handycam in his dad's shed with the original Hoover Man tapes on it, and we get into why people are rebuilding paid creative software with AI and giving it away. If buying isn't owning, then pirating isn't stealing. Plus a pedicure that raised questions, and how far EasyJet's product line should be allowed to go. The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fran has brought gifts. Two fluffy bunny slippers, one with a full egg inside it, both of which she once used to stamp out a dressing gown fire at a girls night while completely sober. Everyone in the room initially assumed the smoke was a new lighting effect. We also cover: why Deborah Meaden putting her moleskin down is the single most powerful gesture on British television, the Dragon who turned down the Tangle Teaser, and the state of the Traitors lineup. Then Jim returns to Brussels for the parts of the stag do he left out last week, including the fact that you are no longer allowed to bring meats and cheeses back from Europe, and what may or may not have been in his hand luggage on the way home. Also, we’re close to a thousand subscribers. Please subscribe, it genuinely helps. The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jim's back from a stag do in Brussels where the nearly 50 year old groom was in bed by 9pm and his dad outlasted everyone. The weekend opened with the death of the groom's cat, which we resolved by proposing it be embalmed and driven down the aisle on a remote control car carrying the rings. Jim then walked home at 3:45am to a hotel so bad he barricaded the door with a mattress. Elsewhere: a memorial for the fancy cupcake boom and the American sweet shop, what's actually being sold in those shops, Jim's laundry detergent subscription, and an indefensible amount of time on teenage deodorant. Largely a shameless bid for sponsorship. Mr Fitzpatrick's, if you're listening. The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jim's back from holiday with a real leather hat bought for him by his father in law, and to this day nobody is certain whether it was a genuine gift or an elaborate joke. Fran then tells the story of attempting a full home wax during the 2020 heatwave, the wax running somewhere it should not have run, and the resulting conversation she had to have with her mother. Plus: ear cameras and the earwax that looked like a raisin, a full list of grievances with the film Titanic, and a game called Was It Mr Burns Or Was It Nestlé, which gets genuinely bleak. The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jim's back from holiday. Two hours after arriving, a car came off the road above the hotel and landed three storeys down into the exact rooms they were meant to be staying in. The car was folded like a deck chair. Then the main event: Dave has been signed up, without his knowledge, to a website where you sell used underwear. We build him a four tier pricing model based on how many pairs he can wear at once, and Fran pitches a way to cut out the middleman. Also: why aeroplane seatbelts are pointless, why the emergency slide should be an option every time, and a long standing misunderstanding about what men do at a urinal. The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jim's away (a car crashed into his hotel room, he's fine), so it's just the two of us this week with absolutely nothing planned. We get into: the friend who makes birthday cards out of ready meal sleeves and why it's better than anything Clintons could sell you, the ex who owned two knives, two forks and two cups and wouldn't allow a bath mat, resulting in a miniature one being smuggled in and out of the flat in a backpack for months, and what genuinely gives you the ick. Plus TK Maxx as a cultural institution, the discovery of Booths, why being tucked into your napkin at a fancy restaurant feels like being put to bed, the Halloween party where one of us was saved in a phone as Toilet Woman, and a speed awareness course workaround so elaborate it might be the most ADHD thing ever committed to tape. Allegedly. The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The side of it nobody's talking about, because one of us lives with a Rockstar employee and Dave got a bit of heat for cheering the leaker on. It's not the suits who lose out when the stock drops. Also this week: the theory that Gen Z have taken up birdwatching purely to endear themselves to boomers and usurp millennial inheritance, a full and entirely necessary deep dive into the origins of the name Dave (including the fact that in the mid 70s, 1 in 10 girls were apparently called Dave), and a Welsh cake speed eating challenge that nearly claimed a tooth. Millennial parents: the name Dave is dying. Please consider. What a difference a Dave makes. The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we go through the five most unhinged patents ever filed. We also invent our own! Plus: are we slowly googling ourselves to death, the conspiracy about data centres and where all the water is really going, why a man in America got arrested for collecting rainwater, the app that tracks billionaires' private jets, and Lay's creamy forest mushroom crisps divide the room completely. The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We go back to 1901 where JP Morgan buys Carnegie Steel for $480 million without spending a penny of his own money and creates the world's first billion dollar company. Then to the 60s, where a cockroach extermination company gets killed by a corporate cockroach. Then to Red Lobster, where a private equity firm sells the land under every restaurant for $1.5 billion, charges them rent on their own buildings, and forces them into a $20 bottomless shrimp deal that loses $11 million in a single quarter. The papers said competitive eaters killed it. They didn't. Also: why there are no crazy inventors anymore, why Bluetooth is still rubbish in 2026, dentists as the new big pharma, French mustard crisps, and the Creature of Kelham The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we're breaking down private equity and asset stripping, how a firm can buy a company using almost none of its own money, saddle that company with the debt, sell the land out from under it, charge it rent on its own building, drain the pension pot, and walk away richer while everyone who worked there loses everything. Also: Kendal Calling and the family with the lucky Baby Bell, why Nolan films are getting too loud, Jamie Oliver banning chewing gum, supermarkets changing prices in real time, and whether you were a Teletubbies real-world-segment kid or not. The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jacqueline Gold walks into a boardroom of men in 1981 and pitches the idea of Ann Summers parties. One man stands up and tells her women don't even like sex. Her dad is the only one who backs her. We debate whether it's acceptable to poo on arrival at a dinner party and Fran decided to host a fun little party game based around Sex Toy Reviews! The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Meet Dandy Kim. Blackmailer, gun runner, horse wanker, water ski school operator, and the man who stole sensitive documents from Jack Warner's safe that were never disclosed but were apparently enough to get his jail sentence cut in half and the money written off entirely. We cover the sexual revolution of the 60s, the invention of the mini skirt, why the male contraceptive pill was abandoned, how a woman's name was borrowed without proper consent to launch Britain's most famous sex shop, and why a postal strike nearly killed the whole thing before it started. Also: Dave has an absolutely horrible morning involving a white Land Rover, a wet egg, two pairs of glasses and a dog with a bone. The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jamie Oliver goes to war with the Turkey Twizzler on national TV. Sales triple the week after. Farm workers are caught playing baseball with live turkeys. Bird flu arrives from a forbidden corner of Hungary, and a suspicious wrapper turns up in a bin. Count Binface, conspiracy theories, why every millennial woman wanted to be a marine biologist, Gen Z emotions with Dave, and Pete's Loft Goth Removal Services. The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we're diving into the gloriously bizarre story of Bernard Matthews. Turkey eugenics, the invention of the turkey roast joint, a 27-year advertising campaign built on one word, and how he made the equivalent of £38.5 million in eight days. David gets a tooth snapped in half by a dentist called Jaguar, we discuss our first celebrity crushes, Jodie Marsh gets the academic treatment she deserves, and Father Jiminy Cricket delivers a prayer against Argentina. The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the end of an era. Roman Abramovich gets poisoned in Ukraine, his £5 billion in assets get frozen overnight, and two superyachts worth nearly a billion pounds go on the run to Turkey in a real-life Grand Theft Auto chase. Also: we try b*****b mints, debate electric cars, dive into local Facebook group drama, celebrate the World Cup with a Lay's crisp sandwich, and Dave gets a cake in the face on day one of the new studio after losing a Frankfurter vs Bratwurst quiz. Billionaires can do whatever they want. And it's absolutely fine. The Depressed CEO Podcast — new episodes every week. ------------- Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content. ------------- Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/depressedceospodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.