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Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace

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Rating
★★★★★
5
from
2 reviews
This podcast has
86 episodes
Language
English
Date created
2024/07/17
Latest episode
2026/09/19
Average duration
10 min.
Release period
9 days

Description

Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace Podcast is hosted by me, Becky Kolb. I help Christian women navigating 💔estranged relationships with adult children and next generation family members.  You never thought you would be experiencing estrangement with a loved one and you are looking for support from someone who's been there. That's me. Estrangement brings grief, guilt, shame, confusion and isolation. Women say they feel pressure to forgive or reconcile before they full understand what that means. And sometimes you may not be in a place mentally or spiritually to do that. I understand and felt similarly.My estrangement story began with a divorce and remarriage and some decisions around that. The guilt and shame was overwhelming as most of my family didn't speak to me for several years.Growing up in a Christian family, I struggled with some of the decisions I made and even more so with family who judged and rejected me. I felt God was judging me and had also abandoned me. But it was during that estrangement that God met me where I was and overwhelmingly poured out his 💖love and mercy and forgiveness.The God I thought rejected me was standing with arms wide open waiting for me to turn around. Consequences from some of my decisions lingered but his ❤️love and forgiveness carried me through. It was a relationship God wanted with me. Not religion. It was life changing. And it's what brought about reconciliation and restoration of my family. Relationships today that are 💪stronger than ever before.Not every relationship will reconcile or heal, but you can find peace even amid estrangement. And this podcast will offer help to reconnect with God, reclaim your identity in Him and live in freedom with peace and purpose.I learned that you can't force reconciliation. Any attempt to change another person is fruitless. The only control you and I have is ourselves and my podcast and coaching focus is on WHOLENESS - creating space to feel grief, discover clarity around responsibility, establish healthy boundaries and gain a renewed sense of self and purpose so that you can live grounded. I offer free no pressure, no obligation discovery calls to see if coaching is right for you. It's not a sales pitch. If that's something of interest, navigate to www.beckykolb.com/work-with-becky and let's have a conversation.CONNECT with me at www.beckykolb.comDOWNLOAD my FREE workbook to work through estrangement to find peace at: 📲www.beckykolb.com/guide

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Check latest episodes from Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace podcast


Family Estrangement Support
2026/09/19
It's been a while since I've published a podcast, but don't give up. I am in the process of revamping my website beckykolb.com Expanding into family estrangement aligns with my own experience as well as what women are telling me they face. My podcast has been geared toward women with estranged adult children, but what I'm finding is more and more women are dealing with other estrangement too. Adult children have walked away. But so have daughters-in-law or sons-in-law. Grandchildren are estranged. Siblings, parents and other loved ones are part of the equation. So, stick with me and you'll find a newly revamped website and podcast right here on this channel coming soon. And I'm offering a new value item free to those who are signed up on my website. It's called What to Do When Your Adult Child Pulls Away. And you can get it free of charge by going to beckykolb.com/guide and enter your email address. When it is finished in a few weeks, I'll send it to you free of charge. Stay strong my friend and know that more support is coming soon. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
84: 5 Steps to Let Go in Estrangement
2026/08/29
You’ve heard it before – just let go in estrangement. Let it go. Surrender and you’ll feel better. Well, I surrendered and decided to let go and guess what? I didn’t feel better. I still obsessed and grieved, and my broken heart didn’t heal.  This episode is a short but concise 5 steps to let go in estrangement. It’s an uncomplicated process but it requires your commitment and I promise you’ll find the peace you seek. Ready? Let’s roll today’s episode.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/84. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
83: How to Avoid Cynical Thinking in Estrangement
2026/08/19
Cynical thinking in estrangement is more common than you may realize. What exactly is cynicism? Do you have unrealistic or inappropriate expectations of others? Let me ask another way.  Are you hardened, bitter and jaded when you think of your estranged loved one? That’s a question that I would ask you to ponder in prayer before God. I would have said no to that question, but the reality is that cynical thinking was embedded deep within and I couldn’t see it.  Estrangement hurts deeply. The tendency to lash out, defend and even engage in cynical thinking is an outcome. The good news is there is a way to counter it – once it’s recognized. Let’s take a look.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/83.  What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
82: What Healthy Boundaries Look Like
2026/08/12
What are healthy boundaries? After all, you hear this phrase quite often these days. Especially between estranged parents and their kids. But what does the term mean?  They are healthy limits you set to protect your emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing as well as your time. It’s not about controlling others, which if you’ve listened to me long enough, you’ve heard me say a hundred times you cannot control anyone but you.  It is about deciding what you will accept in a relationship and choosing how you will respond to protect your peace, mental wellbeing, and your precious time. Today I’ll share some tips on establishing what healthy boundaries look like.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/82. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
81: Estrangement: Living Well in the unfinished years
2026/08/05
Living well in the unfinished years is a topic to help you navigate how to live amid estrangement. Because let’s face it, when you are estranged from a loved one, living well isn’t something you do naturally. That was certainly the case with me.  Other podcasts focus on how to fix the relationship. My focus is helping you live from a position of wholeness whether or not the relationship reconciles. Consequently, it’s about building a meaningful life while estrangement exists. Reclaiming joy, discovering passion and purpose and shedding guilt and shame that weigh you down. Ready to jump in? Let’s roll today’s episode.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/81. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
80: How to Grieve Someone Who is Alive
2026/07/29
If someone had told me I would be asking how to grieve someone who is alive, I would have thought them to be crazy. Yet, that’s exactly the question I had when estranged from my kids.  Grieving was for the dead, wasn’t it? Grief is one of the deepest stages of emotional pain in any estrangement. In reality, although they are alive, you have lost someone you love dearly. Further, it may even include others such as your grandkids.  The hardest part is that when someone dies, others grieve with you and bring comfort. In estrangement, many people do not even know you are grieving, much less come alongside and comfort you.  Let’s sit together briefly and I’ll share some important aspects of grieving a loved one who is alive. My hope is it will bring comfort to you that you are not alone in your emotionally raw season.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/80. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
79: How to Stop Feeling like a Failure as a Mom
2026/07/22
Estrangement creates many illusions and creates a breeding ground for wrecking your value as a person and as a mother.   This episode is all about how to stop feeling like a failure as a mom because in short – you aren’t. What you feel isn’t always a true assessment of reality.  Reeling from a child’s decision to walk away from a relationship with you causes you to feel like a failure. Let’s flip that narrative and sit together for a few minutes. It is my hope that you walk away feeling encouraged and equipped with renewed hope and confidence in who you are.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/79. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
78: When God Feels Silent in Estrangement
2026/07/15
Estrangement brings so many emotional feelings and one recurrent one is when God feels silent. Prayers are offered continuously and you feel as if they are disappearing into thin air.  Does God hear your prayers for your estranged loved one? Does He see your broken heart? Those are questions women ask when their heart is broken with the pain of an estranged son or daughter.  Dear sister in Christ, I had those same feelings and worse. I felt that decisions I made would sentence me for life and that God was punishing me with the estrangement. That was a lie that Satan wanted me to believe and it may be something you struggle with too.   Stay tuned for encouragement as I share biblical truth about God and his seeming silence.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/78. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
77: Recognizing the Real Loss in Estrangement
2026/07/07
Estrangement results in the loss of a relationship either temporarily or permanently. Whether it is a son, daughter, parent, sibling, or someone else, the loss is profound. You’ll grieve the good memories of the relationship that existed before estrangement. And hope for reconciliation one day.  However, many women I speak with express a deep sadness with a realization that wasn’t readily identifiable at the outset.   Recognizing the real loss in estrangement comes as you realize it isn’t just you and your loved one. It extends to other relationships too. But there is hope and I want to encourage you today with some truths and tips so let’s sit together for a few minutes and I hope you’ll find hope for healing.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/77. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
76: Balancing the Scales
2026/07/01
Last week the topic was the joy of forgiveness, and I hope you found some nuggets of truth to help you in your estranged relationship. Because forgiveness is so powerful, I have a short follow up on that subject and it’s called balancing the scales.  Remember those old-fashioned scales? The kind that had two trays on either side of the stand. They were used to ensure fair trade and accurate measurements for medical compounding and baking.  Lean in today with me as we apply this balancing to your estrangement from a loved one.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/76. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
75: The Joy of Forgiveness
2026/06/23
Joy and forgiveness don’t belong in the same sentence. Or do they? Estrangement brings such a host of emotions. Sadness, anger, resentment, disappointment and many more. How is joy even possible when your heart is so heavy? Today I’ll share with you the joy of forgiveness and how it can set your heart free – even amid estrangement. You don’t have to reconcile or receive an apology to forgive and have joy.  Joy is an acronym for something that I’ll share next. Stay with me and let’s explore this together.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/75. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
74: Trusting God During Estrangement
2026/06/17
Trusting God during estrangement is essential to your mental health. However, it’s one of the hardest things to do.  This child whom you’ve reared, nourished, protected and loved has chosen to walk away from you and your heart is broken. How could this happen? Every mother makes mistakes parenting her children. I made them. My mother made them. You will too.  Prayer is the cry of your heart as you plead with God to soften hearts and reconcile the hurtful words and actions that have created the distance between you. What do you do when God doesn’t answer? When He seems distant too? That’s what today’s episode is all about. Thanks for joining me.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/74. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
73: 3 Reasons Estranged Kids Stay Silent
2026/06/10
While every family story is different, I’ve discovered three reasons estranged kids stay silent. If you’ve been searching for answers and hearing crickets, you are not alone.  As a mother your heart breaks when your child refuses to talk with you. The disruption in your family is overwhelming and may extend even to your grandkids. You long to know why and wonder how you can fix the problem so everything can get back to normal.  These questions took a toll on my heart until I took a hard look at the three reasons I’ll share with you today. And once you understand, you can begin to shift your perspective. Furthermore, your behavior and expectations will change creating an open door for reconciliation. Thanks for joining me today.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/73. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
72: Take a Selfie of Your Heart
2026/06/05
If you took a selfie of your heart right now, what would it reveal? Selfie’s have been all the rage for a while now. People risk life and limb to crawl to the highest point of a dangerous cliff to capture their smiling face with the tallest waterfall or the deepest canyon.  It’s one thing to smile for the camera, but inside I can imagine these people are feeling a bit frightened about what could go wrong. Countless news articles reveal people that have slipped and fallen to an early death trying to capture that perfect selfie.  It’s one thing to look good for the camera and all the world to see, but what’s going on underneath? In the heart where only you know the real emotion and pain of estrangement. Today let’s sit for a few minutes with a selfie of your heart where you’ll find some real treasures of joy and peace.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/72. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation
71: Can I Find Peace Even Amid Estrangement?
2026/05/29
Peace even in estrangement is attainable although women believe otherwise. What about you? Do you feel that your estranged relationship must be reconciled before you can have peace? I did.  Obsessing over words spoken, actions taken and how a loved one could choose rejection was nonstop. You wonder if you’ll ever be normal again. I laugh about this now because what really is normal?   You see, women believe they are the only one going through this painfully emotional time and we compare our abnormal to the perceived normal in others.  Wherever you are, sit with me a few minutes and I’ll share how you can build a meaningful life and discover peace – even before the relationship heals.  Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/71. What do you struggle with most in family estrangement? What topic would you like to hear? Send me a text. Becky Kolb is a Certified Life Coach specializing in Family Estrangement. Although you can't control another person's choices about reconciliation, you can control you so that it doesn't define your whole life. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway and discover peace to live joyfully - even amid estrangement. Download the free guide to "Things to Do When A Loved One Walks Away" at www.beckykolb.com/guide I offer a 30 minute free conversation to answer your questions about coaching, explain how I can help you discover wholeness and peace with coaching. It's a no-pressure and no-obligation conversation. www.beckykolb.com/consultation

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