Advertise on podcast: You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

This episode is about the hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil stance so many members of dysfunctional family systems take in regards to a narcissistic parent's or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder's abusive behaviors. In it, we chat about why the enabling parent, siblings, and extended family so often minimize or deny what's happening. We also cover whether or not they can truly be oblivious to the abuse and dysfunction.

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries are understandably complicated. But, what if you could start making changes by setting some with yourself? In this episode you'll learn: Boundaries with yourself: what they are, and why knowing your limits comes before anything you communicate to your parentWhy the urge to explain every change runs so deep when you grow up in this type of family dynamicWhat this can look like IRLWhy this isn't all or nothing, and what small steps look likeReady to go deeper? Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course Want access to ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and the full archive? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. Get instant access to the 12-page guide: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries are understandably complicated. But, what if you could start making changes by setting some with yourself? In this episode you'll learn: -Boundaries with yourself: what they are, and why knowing your limits comes before anything you communicate to your parent -Why the urge to explain every change runs so deep when you grow up in this type of family dynamic -What this can look like IRL -Why this isn't all or nothing, and what small steps look like Ready to go deeper? Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course Want access to ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and the full archive? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. Get instant access to the 12-page guide: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide

Today I'm getting into why nobody goes from emotionally healthy to emotionally abusive overnight, and what's usually happening instead. If it's felt like you're suddenly meeting a version of your parent you've never seen before, this one is for you.

You've known for months exactly what boundary you need to set. And every time you sit down to do it, something in your body says absolutely not, and you tell yourself you'll deal with it later. If you grew up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or narcissistic traits, you learned early on that reading the room kept you safe and while expressing your emotions was a problem. It's one of the many reasons cycle breakers often grow up to be great intellectualizers who find themselves struggling to make the changes they desperately want to make. In this episode you'll learn: Why you know what you "should" do but can't bring yourself to actually do it The difference between knowing what to do and having the skill set to tolerate how distressing change can beWhy the hardest part of a boundary is almost never the logistics, it's the guilt and anxiety that come afterThe story your brain tells about laziness and lack of motivation, and what's actually happeningWhy being too close to the fire makes your own family the hardest one to see clearlyIf you've spent years trying to understand your dysfunctional family system and still can't bring yourself to make the changes you need to, this episode is for you. Ready to go deeper? Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course Want access to ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and the full archive? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. Get instant access to the 12-page guide: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

You've known for months exactly what boundary you need to set. And every time you sit down to do it, something in your body says absolutely not, and you tell yourself you'll deal with it later. If you grew up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or narcissistic traits, you learned early on that reading the room kept you safe and while expressing your emotions was a problem. It's one of the many reasons cycle breakers often grow up to be great intellectualizers who find themselves struggling to make the changes they desperately want to make. In this episode you'll learn: -Why you know what you "should" do but can't bring yourself to actually do it -The difference between knowing what to do and having the skill set to tolerate how distressing change can be -Why the hardest part of a boundary is almost never the logistics, it's the guilt and anxiety that come after -The story your brain tells about laziness and lack of motivation, and what's actually happening -Why being too close to the fire makes your own family the hardest one to see clearly If you've spent years trying to understand your dysfunctional family system and still can't bring yourself to make the changes you need to, this episode is for you. Grab Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent: A 12-page step-by-step plan to walk you through the before, during, and after, so you can finally go into your next interaction with clarity and confidence in your approach: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is my self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. Inside, we untangle dysfunctional family systems, boundaries with toxic parents, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow me on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow me on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist

A quick update first- I'm shifting into a more sustainable rhythm for the podcast this fall, then I get into part two of my story. I talk about growing up with a Jekyll and Hyde mom, what that taught me, and how my understanding of what was actually going on with her has changed over the years. I talk about how if I could stumble through my own healing as clumsily as I have and still end up with the skills and support I have now, I firmly believe anyone who is invested in breaking the cycle is capable of learning how to do so too.  Ready to go deeper? Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course Want access to ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and the full archive? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. Get instant access to the 12-page guide: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

A quick update first- I'm shifting into a more sustainable rhythm for the podcast this fall, then I get into part two of my story. I talk about growing up with a Jekyll and Hyde mom, what that taught me, and how my understanding of what was actually going on with her has changed over the years. I talk about how if I could stumble through my own healing as clumsily as I have and still end up with the skills and support I have now, I firmly believe anyone who is invested in breaking the cycle is capable of learning how to do so too. >>>Grab my new guide, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is my self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers breaking the cycle: navigating dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow me on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow me on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist

Today I'm sharing why I feel so strongly about whether or not people should have a relationship with a parent who has narcissistic personality disorder, unmanaged borderline personality disorder, or traits of both. I talk about why no contact is not a decision cycle breakers make lightly, why I believe cycle breakers need to understand what a realistic relationship with a parent like this would actually look like, and what I think is a much more useful question than "am I making the right choice." I also give you a quick update on some changes coming to the public feed.

A quick update on the podcast and when the next episode will drop. Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

It can be incredibly frustrating to listen to your sibling describe a childhood you don't recognize at all. Today I'm talking about why siblings raised within the same dysfunctional family dynamics often end up with such different memories of it. We dive into how being the protector or having one changes everything and the grief of loving a sibling you might not be able to have a close relationship with.

>>>Grab my new guide, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide This week I'm sharing more about me: who I am, why I do the work that I do, and what led me to start this podcast. In this episode you'll learn: About my clinical background and how that led to me working almost entirely with adults who have parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disordersAbout my attempts to fill the gap so many cycle breakers face when searching for supportHow to work together and the various ways I can helpReady to go deeper? Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course Want access to ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and the full archive? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. Get instant access to the 12-page guide: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

>>>Grab my new guide, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide This week I'm sharing more about me: who I am, why I do the work that I do, and what led me to start this podcast. In this episode you'll learn about: -My clinical background and how that led to me working almost entirely with adults who have parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders -My attempts to fill the gap so many cycle breakers face when searching for support -How to work together and the various ways I can help Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is my self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow me on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist Follow me on TikTok: @cyclebreakertherapist Grab my new guide: Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent A 12-page step-by-step plan for navigating these dynamics with more of your sanity intact: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, apologies often function as a way to end the conversation, avoid accountability, or label you as the problem. And like many aspects of these types of family dynamics, apologies can be confusing and leave you replaying the conversation, wondering if you're being unreasonable by not fully accepting them. In this episode you'll learn: What a healthy apology actually looks likeWhy "I'm sorry" can be a completely reasonable apology in one relationship and feel hollow in anotherThe reason your gut flags an apology as insincere, and what your brain is actually trackingHow the gap between what you experienced and what you're told to feel about it erodes self-trust over timeWhy not accepting an apology, or accepting it cautiously, can be a reasonable responseReady to go deeper? Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course Want access to ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and the full archive? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. Get instant access to the 12-page guide: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, apologies often function as a way to end the conversation, avoid accountability, or label you as the problem. And like many aspects of these types of family dynamics, apologies can be confusing and leave you replaying the conversation, wondering if you're being unreasonable by not fully accepting them. In this episode you'll learn: -What a healthy apology actually looks like -Why "I'm sorry" can be a completely reasonable apology in one relationship and feel hollow in another -The reason your gut flags an apology as insincere, and what your brain is actually tracking -How the gap between what you experienced and what you're told to feel about it erodes self-trust over time -Why not accepting an apology, or accepting it cautiously, can be a reasonable response Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in