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What if your life doesn’t “click” at 22- and that’s actually the point?In this episode of Choose the Bear, I’m joined by beloved illustrator, author, and creative mentor Lisa Congdon to talk about reinvention, creativity, and the myth that your best years have an expiration date. We start with a little friendly “beef” over her book A Glorious Freedom: Older Women Living Extraordinary Lives (40 is not “older”!), then go deep on what the book really offers: proof that women can begin again, at 40, 50, 70, and beyond.Lisa shares her path from elementary school teacher and education nonprofit leader to becoming a full-time artist in her late 30s, plus the practical, honest stuff that makes change possible: persistence, transferable skills, learning through failure, and getting comfortable with uncomfortable feelings.We also dig into her essential guide Finding Your Artistic Voice, why “practice + failure + practice” is the only real shortcut, how to stop perfectionism from strangling your work, and what it looks like to give fear a bear hug and move forward anyway.And because this is Choose the Bear, we connect it all back to the bigger message: women living whole, joyful lives on their own terms, regardless of relationship status, parenting status, or age.In this episode, we cover:- Why the “figure it out in your 20s” timeline is a lie- Starting a new career later in life (and why it can be an advantage)- The “beginner gap” and why most people quit right before it gets good- Perfectionism vs. becoming an “imperfectionist”- How to work with fear instead of letting it run your life- Finding your voice (in art, writing, activism, life)- Using art as activism + creating change through creativity- Why women in midlife have more power, skill, and wisdomIf you loved this conversation, please like, subscribe, and share, especially with a friend who needs the reminder that it’s not too late.

Comedian, writer, and podcaster Alison Leiby joins Choose the Bear for a wide-ranging, deeply honest conversation about horror movies, feminism, abortion, friendship, and choosing a full life outside of marriage and motherhood. Alison is best known as the co-host of the hit podcast Ruined, where she bravely (and hilariously) listens as horror movies are explained to her so she never has to watch them. She’s also the creator of the acclaimed off-Broadway solo show Oh God, a Show About Abortion, which explores abortion with humor, honesty, and zero shame, and a writer on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. In this episode, we talk about: • Why horror is one of the most feminist film genres• The “final girl,” body horror, and why women understand fear differently• How Ruined became a cultural phenomenon• Abortion stories that don’t center shame or tragedy• Why women are still punished for not wanting kids• The pressure to frame childfree women as “sad” or “incomplete”• Friendship, collaboration, and building community outside the nuclear family• Being bad at something new, and why that’s actually the point• Navigating male-dominated industries as a woman• Why women don’t owe marriage, motherhood, or explanation This conversation is funny, smart, deeply validating, and full of moments that will make you feel seen- whether you love horror, hate horror, are childfree by choice, undecided, or just tired of women being told there’s only one acceptable way to live. 🎧 Subscribe for more conversations about single life, independence, feminism, and choosing your own path.Because everything you are is more than enough.

Burlesque icon Dirty Martini joins Choose the Bear for a powerful, hilarious, and deeply inspiring conversation about confidence, creativity, and claiming your body on your own terms. From the Vegas stage with Dita Von Teese to intimate performances around the world, Dirty shares how burlesque became her path to visibility, artistry, and radical self-love. We talk about:✨ How Dirty went from being told she’d “never be a dancer” to becoming a global burlesque star✨ Burlesque as a political act—and why stepping onstage in your body matters✨ Body pride vs. body positivity✨ The magic of seeing real, diverse bodies onstage✨ Advice for beginners who feel scared, uncoordinated, or “not dancer enough”✨ Why taking a burlesque class can transform how you see yourself✨ Gen Z, cringe culture, and the courage to try new things✨ Dirty’s upcoming European tour and her work coaching performers Whether you love burlesque, are burlesque-curious, or just want to feel more powerful in your body, this conversation is a gift. 🩸 Guest: Dirty MartiniInstagram: @DirtyMartiniNYC 🎙 About Choose the BearA podcast for women building joyful, bold, independent lives—single, childfree, and fully themselves. Hosted by activist and author Kat Calvin. 💬 Tell us:What’s one thing you’d try if you weren’t afraid of being “cringe”?

Burlesque isn’t just feathers and striptease, it’s comedy, politics, gender rebellion, and a century of artists rewriting the rules of who gets to be seen.In this episode, Kat Calvin sits down with Dustin Wax, anthropologist and executive director of the Burlesque Hall of Fame, for a masterclass on the real history of burlesque: from Lydia Thompson and Josephine Baker to Lottie the Body, Coby Yee, Jadin Wong, and Marenka.They dig into how burlesque has always played with gender, race, sexuality, drag, and power, and why this “lowbrow” art form is actually a vital archive of queer and feminist history.In this conversation, we talk about:How Dustin went from teaching gender, race, and class to running the Burlesque Hall of FameWhy burlesque is closer to political comedy and theater than to strip clubsThe deep history of gender-bending, drag, and trans performers in burlesqueLegendary performers you should know: Lydia Thompson, Josephine Baker, Coby Yee, Lottie the Body, Jadin Wong, Marenka, and moreHow burlesque intersected with Motown, Hollywood, and the music industryWild and wonderful artifacts from the museum: Gypsy Rose Lee’s trunk and pin cushion, Dita Von Teese’s martini glass, an 8-foot devil head, and moreThe bizarre and repressive laws and censorship rules that shaped what performers could wear (and take off)How anti-drag laws also threaten burlesque—and why Dustin thinks the future of burlesque is more queer, angry, and defiant than everWhy we need way more movies, books, and TV series about burlesque legendsAbout my guestDustin Wax is an anthropologist and the executive director of the Burlesque Hall of Fame, an organization dedicated to preserving, celebrating, and inspiring the art of burlesque. Through archives, artifacts, exhibits, and community events, the Burlesque Hall of Fame keeps the stories of performers, famous and unsung, alive.👉 Learn more: burlesquehall.com👉 Follow the Burlesque Hall of Fame on Instagram & YouTube (links in show notes)If you liked this episode…You’ll also love my other burlesque conversations with modern legends like Perle Noire and next week's surprise guest, where we talk about healing, body sovereignty, and the power of performance for women and queer communities.About Choose the BearChoose the Bear is a podcast about women who choose their own path—often single, often childfree, always bold. We talk to artists, activists, athletes, scientists, and weirdos (the very best kind) about building a life on your own terms.🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on independence, art, gender, politics, and joy.👍 If this episode taught you something new about burlesque, please like, comment, and share it with a burlesque lover or theater nerd in your life.Hashtags#Burlesque #BurlesqueHistory #BurlesqueHallOfFame #DustinWax #QueerHistory #FeministHistory #Drag #GenderStudies #ChooseTheBear

Burlesque icon Perle Noire joins Choose the Bear for a luminous, soul-level conversation about the power of burlesque as an art form, a healing practice, and a path to personal liberation. Perle shares her journey from discovering burlesque to becoming one of the most celebrated performers and teachers in the world. We talk about how burlesque can help women reclaim their bodies, pleasure, confidence, and voice, and how this art form can be a powerful tool for emotional healing, creativity, and self-ownership. If you’ve ever been curious about burlesque, the history behind it, or why it resonates so deeply with women, especially women choosing bold, independent lives, this episode will light you up. In this episode: ✨ Perle Noire’s extraordinary career in burlesque ✨ How burlesque can be a practice of healing and self-transformation ✨ Reclaiming the body and feminine power ✨ Why burlesque is an art form made for women ✨ The connection between sensuality, confidence, and liberation ✨ The joy and discipline behind burlesque performance ✨ What it means to honor yourself through movement, ritual, and art ABOUT PERLE NOIRE Perle Noire is a world-renowned burlesque performer, choreographer, and mentor known for her powerful stage presence, artistic innovation, and deep commitment to healing through movement. She has inspired thousands of women through her workshops, performances, and her signature healing-through-burlesque methodology. ABOUT CHOOSE THE BEAR Choose the Bear is a podcast for bold, independent, single or childfree women who are building full, joyful, meaningful lives on their own terms. Hosted by author and activist Kat Calvin. If you loved this episode, please like, subscribe, and share—it helps the movement grow.

This week, podcast royalty herself, Gillian Pensavalle, joins me for one of the most expansive, hilarious, and honest conversations we’ve ever had on Choose the Bear. We talk about her decade-long run with The Hamilcast, building a true-crime empire with  @TrueCrimeObsessedPodcast  , why women do all the emotional (and investigative) labor in true crime, and how podcasting becomes a business—not just a hobby. We also go deep into being joyfully child-free, shedding the guilt women are taught to carry, navigating misogyny in public spaces, and what we both think true crime can teach women about safety, boundaries, autonomy, and choosing yourself.If you’ve ever loved a podcast, questioned a documentary, considered a background check on a first date (please do), or wondered how women keep holding the world together—this episode is for you. Want to share your story? [email protected]

Cosplayer and designer CutiePieSensei ( @TheRealCutiepiesensei ) joins Kat to talk armor builds, creative process, and why cosplay is one of the most empowering spaces for women and Black nerds. Jasmine shares how a campus con sparked a decade of making, how she breaks a costume into parts, and the mindset that keeps her work joyful. She opens up about dealing with racism online, choosing humor and boundaries, and why in-person conventions are still the best place to start.We dig into FiraxWear, her pop culture fashion brand, and how she blends concept art with sewing to create stylish pieces that do not feel like basic merch. Jasmine offers clear advice for first timers, how not to bite off more than you can chew, and why you should try cosplay at least once.In this episode:What cosplay is and why cons feel so goodBreaking down a build from reference to materialsHandling negativity without losing your joyRepresentation and the rise of Black women in cosplayHow Fear Aware began and where it is goingPractical starter tips for newbiesWhy dressing as a hero can change how you see yourselfIf you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe, comment, and share with a friend who needs a little nerdy courage. New episodes weekly on Choose the Bear.

Motorsports broadcaster Amanda Busick joins Kat to talk about how she went from unpaid internships and waiting tables to becoming one of the most recognizable reporters in racing. She shares the Weston Workman first-win moment, why timing and preparation matter, and how trust with drivers turns interviews into real storytelling.We dig into the Women with Drive Summit in Indianapolis, the rise of women across motorsports, and the tension between popularity and craft in modern media. Amanda walks through a full race week, from research calls to garage conversations to post-race hits, and explains why drivers are absolutely athletes. New to racing? She offers a simple starter guide for finding your series and your favorite drivers.In this episode:Breaking into a male dominated field without connectionsBuilding credibility with drivers and crewsWomen with Drive Summit and growing communityPrep routines for NASCAR and NHRA weekendsDrivers as athletes, fitness and recoveryDrive to Survive, F1 buzz, and how it helps the whole sportPractical advice for young women aiming for on air rolesIf you enjoyed this conversation, subscribe, comment, and share with a friend who loves fast cars and great journalism. Follow Amanda @amandabusick on Instagram.New episodes weekly on Choose the Bear.

Happy Halloween and welcome to a special episode with singer-songwriter Allie Colleen. We talk about growing up on country classics, why she set out to make textured, emotionally honest music, and how her new work captures more of who she is as an artist. Allie shares the story behind Sincerely Rolling Stone, the power of songs like Halos and Horns and Back in the Saddle, and why she is patiently building a real community of fans in Nashville. We get into independence versus labels, mental health in the industry, the art of failing forward with her manager Bev, and how showing up creates true connection. Allie also opens up about her influences from Amy Lee and Three Days Grace to Jodie Messina and Trisha Yearwood, plus the Nashville friendships that keep her inspired. If you enjoy the conversation, tap subscribe, leave a comment, and share the episode with a friend who loves country music. In this episode: Finding a personal sonic identity and “textured” country Writing from intention and turning big feelings into lyrics The Nashville community and why showing up matters Staying independent while planning for scale Mental health, boundaries, and sustainable careers for women in country Musical influences and current artists Allie loves Featured music mentioned:Halos and HornsBack in the SaddleSincerely Rolling Stone (LP) Follow Allie: YouTube Instagram @alliecolleenmusic TikTok @alliecolleen New episodes weekly. Thanks for listening to Choose the Bear.

Journalist and author Marissa R. Moss (Her Country) joins Kat to dig into the gender and race politics of country music: why country radio still matters in 2025, how the industry keeps women and Black artists off the air, and what it will take to change Nashville’s power structure. We talk Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter, Taylor Swift's move from country to Pop, Mickey Guyton’s “Black Like Me,” Maren Morris’s exit from the Nashville machine, the erasure of Black and Latino roots in country, and why the genre keeps pushing its best women to pop, rock, or Americana. Marissa also shares a sneak peek at her new ’90s-rock book and shouts out new women artists you should be playing this week.In this episode:• Country radio’s outsized influence today• The Nashville “family” myth and the boys’-club loop• How women get labeled “too political” for telling the truth• Black roots in country and the ongoing gatekeeping• Southern rock/Americana as a workaround to Music Row• Artists to watch: Carter Faith, Kelsey Waldon, Caitlin Butts, Kaylee Hammack, Jillian Jacqueline, Cam• Marissa’s newsletter: Don’t Rock the Inbox- https://www.dontrocktheinbox.com/• Marissa's big Rolling Stone article- https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-country/inside-country-radios-dark-secret-history-of-sexual-harassment-and-misconduct-253573/If you enjoyed this: rate/review the show, share it with a friend, and tag us so we can repost. Want to share your story? [email protected]

Comedian, writer, and facilitator Amma Marfo joins Kat to talk about her hour-long special Fidget Spinster—a hilarious, thoughtful look at being single by choice, living with anxiety, and building a joyful life that doesn’t orbit dating or marriage. We dig into why women flock to trustworthy celeb crushes (hi, Pedro Pascal), how comedy still sidelines single women’s stories, and practical ways to start scary new things without perfectionism. We also get into Amma’s book Cultivating Creativity, resilience vs. “grit,” first-gen students, and building community as a single adult. Watch Amma’s special (Fidget Spinster) and follow her work. If you enjoy this episode, don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe. And don't forget, everything you are is more than enough. Questions? Want to tell your story? [email protected]

Alyssa Carson, astrobiologist, PhD student, and aspiring astronaut, joins Kat Calvin to talk about the real path to space and why Mars is more than a dream. Alyssa breaks down astrobiology “like you’re five,” shares what astronaut selection actually looks like (hint: astronaut is a destination, not a job), and explains how Moon and Mars missions fuel everyday innovations on Earth. They also dig into Artemis timelines, the boom in private space, and dozens of non-astronaut careers in space, from psychology and human factors to food science and habitat design. You’ll hear: How a kid’s fascination with Mars became a serious scientific career Pilot licenses, scuba, and other training- what helps and what’s just hype Astrobiology 101: icy moons, methane seas, and the search for microbial life Why funding the Moon/Mars push pays off on Earth (food, radiation shielding, tech) Artemis updates and realistic odds for a crewed Mars mission Space jobs beyond “astronaut” (and why teams beat heroes) Women who paved Alyssa’s way, and the power of a great dad & support system Practical advice for big, “impossible” goals at any age Alyssa's Book: Ready for Liftoff Watch next: Franchesca Ramsey If this episode inspired you, please like, share, and subscribe. And remember, everything you are is more than enough. Questions? Want to tell your story? ⁠[email protected]

Franchesca Ramsey, comedian, actress, writer, and accidental activist, joins Kat Calvin for the Season 2 premiere of Choose the Bear. From her viral hit Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls to her recent Leopards Ate My Face song, Franchesca has spent 20 years turning comedy into a tool for social change. In this episode, she and Kat talk about: Why women are so drawn to true crime The highs and lows of going viral—then vs. now How comedy and satire help us survive political upheaval The rise of family vloggers and the dangers of child exploitation online Why friendships deserve the same priority as romantic relationships Her joyful podcast Let Me Fix It and the work of sustaining community Whether you know her from The Nightly Show, her bestselling book Well, That Escalated Quickly, or her unforgettable viral videos, you’ll love hearing Franchesca’s wisdom, wit, and warmth. Leopards Ate My Face Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls Well, That Escalated Quickly If you enjoy this episode, don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe. And don't forget, everything you are is more than enough. Questions? Want to tell your story? ⁠[email protected]

In this episode, Kat sits down with Ivelyse Andino, Afro-Latina founder of Radical Health, the first Latina-owned public benefit corp in New York focused on health equity. They talk about what it means to build a healthcare system centered in justice, the power of community conversations, and how Ivelyse’s personal story led her to create a company that’s transforming how people—especially marginalized communities—access care. From tackling medical mistrust to creating tech that empowers rather than extracts, this conversation is all about reclaiming health, joy, and voice. Tune in for an inspiring look at what it means to build something radical—and deeply human. Thanks for listening to Season 1 of Choose the Bear. We'll be on a break until Season 2 returns in October!

What happens when outdated laws and stigma collide with your most personal truths? In this powerful episode, activist Robert Suttle shares his story of being prosecuted under Louisiana’s HIV criminalization laws—and how that conviction shaped his experience of dating, intimacy, and identity as a gay Black man in the South. We talk about what it means to build a full life after incarceration, how HIV laws perpetuate injustice, and why living single can be a radical act of freedom. Follow Robert on Instagram at @suttlevision and learn more about the fight to end HIV criminalization. Questions? Want to share your story? [email protected]