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In this episode, I sit down with Charlotte, NC drag sensation Lolita Chanel for a candid conversation about love in all its forms—growing up queer in the South, early relationships and hookup culture, and how she came to understand herself as asexual while still deeply romantic. We talk about the Ace spectrum and common misconceptions, the difference between performance and availability in drag and burlesque, body confidence, and the kinds of friendship and chosen-family love that can be as sustaining as romance. Lolita also shares why community care matters to her, including her work supporting the Carolina Migrant Network.

Have you ever had a hookup go spectacularly wrong? In this special listener-stories episode, host Dr. Trevor Hoppe is joined by the one-and-only Micah Elijah Caldwell to read your submitted best and worst sex stories. Trevor and Micah cackle (and occasionally clutch their pearls) through chaotic meet-cutes, “wait…wrong apartment” moments, threesome misadventures, legendary party nights, a mile-high throwback, and a Super Bowl-themed group hang that truly earns the name “Super Hole Sunday.” It’s horny, hilarious, and—beneath the mess—kinda tender: a reminder that shame-free sex education sometimes starts with telling the truth about how weird bodies and hookups can be.

For episode 4, I hand the mic to guest host Master J. Tebias Perry—leather titleholder and author of the book, "Leather Mentorship"—as he sits down with his mentee, Jamal Herrera-O’Malley, a.k.a. Alpha Pup Savage and International Mr. Leather 46. Together, they trace a mentorship that started with sneakers in a bar and grew into a deep, non-traditional leather family bond. Jamal talks about finding his way from rugby pitches to pup hoods, from handler to pup, and from Atlanta to San Francisco—while navigating colorism, fetishization, and being an Afro-Caribbean Latino leather titleholder in overwhelmingly white kink spaces. They dig into what **play** really means: pup play as headspace, touch, and intimacy; flipping the script on being fetishized; exploring dungeons and kink with consent, curiosity, and a sense of purpose. Along the way, Jamal reflects on why he ran for IML, what representation actually *does* for people watching, and why you should never come to the stage—or the dungeon—empty. If you’ve ever been told your desires are “too much” or “too weird,” this episode is an invitation: Don’t be afraid to play. Content note: Frank discussion of kink, pup play, group sex, fetishization, racism/colorism, and trans politics.

Tantra isn’t woo—it’s a toolkit. In this episode, I sit down with intimacy coordinator/sex coach Matthew Shur (Himeros) to talk about how breath, sound, movement, touch, and clear intentions can turn sex from performative to connected—on set and at home. We get into what an intimacy coordinator actually does, why slowing down reads hotter on camera, consent that builds arousal, and how play and laughter crack rigid scripts wide open. Matthew shares the retreat that changed his life, the workshops he runs for performers, why “agency first” makes better porn, and simple practices you can try tonight (yes, including breathwork and the PC-muscle path to non-ejaculatory orgasms). If “tantra” sounds intimidating, this one grounds it in the nuts-and-bolts: practical, queer, embodied. Listen in, take a breath, and let Tantra do what it does best—bring you back into your body.

In this episode, I am joined by my mentor, David Halperin, for a conversation about working from the margins—getting fired early for being gay, exiled to Australia, coming back to help build the field, and catching heat for teaching How to Be Gay—and what that fight actually taught us. David breaks down desire as something that always exceeds what it can hold (and why that matters for sex and culture), and how living abroad trained him to read difference without rushing to domesticate it. We get into new global gay storytelling (BL dramas, Netflix spillover, and their politics) and what gay men still want: the ideal boyfriend…plus everybody else, and a world built for our flourishing. This is a conversation about making a livable world from the margins—and pulling others with you.

Consent isn’t a contract; it’s a practice—and it’s gloriously messy. For the Season 2 premiere, I’m joined by sociologist Dr. Shantel Gabrieal Buggs (my co-editor on the book, "Unsafe Words: Queering Consent in the #MeToo Era") to talk safe words vs. surveillance, HSV disclosure and ethics of care, racialized desire and fetishization, and why “preferences” are never just personal.

For the Season 1 finale of The Best Gay Sex Podcast, I’m joined by author and sex worker David Wichman to talk about sexual freedom—and why it matters now more than ever. Drawing from his new book The Four Rooms, David shares how surviving a rough childhood, navigating survival sex work, and finding queer joy shaped his radical vision of sexual well-being. We dive into why pleasure is political, how connection builds resilience, and why queer joy isn't just a luxury—it’s a lifeline. Plus, David spills a few juicy stories about taking all the daddy d*ck he can handle (and why that's self-care, baby).

What do fisting parties, military discipline, and chosen family have in common? According to Master J Tebias Perry—a leather legend and author of "Leather Mentorship"—they're all part of the kinky, complicated path to becoming your authentic, sex-drenched self. In this juicy episode, Dr. Trevor Hoppe dives deep with Master Tebias about the power of mentorship, the joy of voyeurism, and why the best gay sex starts with trust, curiosity, and a whole lot of lube. Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe clutch your pearls.

What does it mean to be a man? For many of us gay boys, masculinity wasn’t a choice—it was something we were punished for lacking. From childhood bullying to family silence, we grew up navigating a world that demanded we toughen up. But what if masculinity isn’t all bad? What if we can reclaim the good parts without the toxic baggage. This week, I’m joined by sexual health advocate and content creator Nolberto Gonzalez, who’s spent his career helping gay men cultivate pleasure, confidence, and consent. We reflect on our queer boyhoods, the pressures of masculinity, and how we can redefine it for ourselves. Plus, Nolberto spills on his first g******g as a bottom—because, of course, we do.

Masturbation: the gateway to blindness, hairy palms, and eternal damnation—or so the worst sex ed class you ever sat through might have told you. But in reality, self-pleasure isn’t just a solo act; for some, it’s a whole community. I’m joined by Bryan Bance, a seasoned bator who’s taken his love of self-pleasure to new heights—competing in BateWorld’s Annual Great Bate Off and finding a brotherhood in the world of bating. We talk about the stigma around masturbation, the rise of bate culture, and how jerking off can be a radical act of self-love, confidence, and even connection with others. If you’ve ever edged a little too long and wondered, is this a sport?, this episode is for you.

Monogamy? In the gay community? I know, I know—it’s practically a four-letter word. But today, we’re talking about why monogamy is valid (and that's on period). My guest, award-winning male drag entertainer Jersey O’Mari Lavish, grew up with two preacher parents who showed him what commitment could look like. But navigating love and sex as a gay man in a world that doesn’t always celebrate monogamy? That’s a different story. We get into it all—coming out in a religious household, learning the hard way (literally) about safe sex, and why some men treat monogamy like a curse word. Oh, and the time Jersey had a very risqué moment in a U-Haul. Let’s talk love, sex, and commitment—no shame, no judgment, just real talk.

In a world of fast food, fast fashion, and even faster Grindr hookups, slowing down can feel almost rebellious. But today’s guest, Manny Ocasio, host of the "Girl, Bye" podcast, is here to remind us that the best sex isn’t rushed—it’s savored. Manny shares how growing up with a gay dad shaped his journey, why anticipation and foreplay are everything, and how a washing machine made one encounter unforgettable. We also get into aftercare, pushing boundaries, and, of course, his sluttiest moment (college party, cops, and a twist you won’t see coming). Ready to take your time? Hit play.

What does it mean to bear witness to pleasure? In this episode, I sit down with Sister T’Aint A Virgin from the legendary Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. From the radical origins of the Sisters’ activism during the AIDS epidemic to their modern mission of expiating shame and spreading joy, we explore how witnessing sex can be transformative, educational, and liberating. Sister T’Aint A Virgin shares her journey from curious voyeur to symbiosexual, finding profound meaning in observing the intimacy of others and embracing the diversity of queer bodies and sexualities. Along the way, she opens up about navigating consent, cultivating intergenerational mentorship, and her most adventurous sexual experiences. Whether you’ve ever been curious about watching, engaging, or just learning from the beauty of connection, this episode invites you to reconsider how bearing witness can enrich your own sexual liberation.

What if being a slut was something to celebrate? Join me, Dr. Trevor Hoppe, on this episode of The Best Gay Sex Podcast as I chat with Charles Sanchez, actor, writer, director, and Contributing Editor at TheBody.com, about reclaiming the word "slut" as a source of pride and liberation. From his musical web series Merce to navigating slutty adventures (and the occasional mishap, hello Mpox), Charles shares his journey of embracing sexual agency, dismantling shame, and finding joy in authentic connections. Whether you're a self-proclaimed slut or just curious, this episode will have you rethinking everything you thought you knew about desire.

What’s the opposite of jealousy? Enter compersion—a radical concept that could transform the way we experience love, sex, and intimacy. In this episode, Dr. Trevor Hoppe sits down with TT Baum, a sacred intimate with over 20 years of experience in sex work, sex education, and tantric practice. Together, they dive into the art of connected sex, the healing power of touch, and how compersion can bring more joy into our relationships. Along the way, TT shares stories of sexual exploration, the importance of vulnerability, and what it really means to have FUN in bed.