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You know that feeling when a conversation ends and somewhere on the drive home you think, I should have said that. For my guest today, that kind of staying quiet went on for seventeen years. She built a career, a marriage, a family. She thought she was good at reading people. Then her husband asked for a divorce and she realized the one person she had stopped listening to was herself. If you've ever felt yourself shrinking in a relationship while staying completely yourself everywhere else, this conversation about dating after 40 is going to feel like someone finally said the quiet part out loud.✨ What's Inside This Episode: Why confident, successful women often go quiet specifically in romantic relationships, even when they speak up everywhere else in their livesThe deceptively small first step to recognizing exactly when and where you silence yourselfA simple mirror practice that helps you hear your own voice again, literallyWhy staying quiet to avoid losing someone usually means you already lost them Support from Phaedra: You know there’s more in you. But something is still holding you back. In this free challenge, you’ll work with me one-on-one for five online sessions (up to 45 minutes each). No theory, just direct guidance to help you see where you’re holding back and what shifts when you start using your voice. This is your first step. Not perfect. But real. https://linktr.ee/LaReineCoaching 🎧 Press play now to hear the full conversation You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think. This is the last episode I'm hosting. Six seasons, sixty six conversations, and I'm genuinely grateful for every single one of you who listened. I'm not going anywhere, I've just started writing instead of talking, about waking up to joy, love, and feeling at home within, wherever midlife happens to be taking you. If anything in this episode landed, especially the parts about losing your own voice without noticing, that's exactly what I'm writing about now. Come find me at https://trulyeleanor.com. This show is staying up, so come back anytime.

My guest, Emma Ferris, had all the tools. She was literally a nervous system coach. And she still handed over six figures to a man she loved who turned out to be a convicted con artist. Her body was sending signals the whole time, but her brain had very convincing reasons to keep going anyway. If you've ever looked back at a relationship and thought "I felt it and I still didn't stop," this conversation is going to land somewhere important. Dating after 40 with an unregulated nervous system is like trying to navigate with a compass that's been magnetised by every heartbreak you've ever had. Emma helps you reset it. About Emma Ferris: Emma is a physiotherapist, nervous system coach, author, and speaker, and the founder of The Breath Effect. She works with women whose bodies have been asked to hold too much for too long, helping them rebuild their signal so they can hear themselves again. What's Inside This Episode: The moment Emma's world fell apart and what it revealed about the gap between knowing your nervous system and actually being able to listen to it Why your body might be reading a man accurately while your brain is busy building a very convincing case for why he's fine What you discover when you finally understand why calm kept feeling boring, and what shifts when that changes The one place Emma says to start if you want to change who you attract, and it's not a mindset shift 🎧 Press play and let Emma’s story inspire you. Work with Emma: 1:1 coaching  Emma’s story:  Conning The Con Podcast You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think. Come find Truly Eleanor at: https://trulyeleanor.com

Your intuition hasn't abandoned you. It hasn't gone quiet. Something specific is drowning it out, and until you name it, you'll keep second-guessing yourself right out of your own best decisions. This episode is for any woman over 40 who's wondering why she can't trust herself in dating anymore. You used to know things. You used to have good instincts. And somehow, somewhere along the way, all that got muddier. There are five specific habits that block your intuition in dating after 40, and the wildest part? Most of them look like virtues. They look like being careful, being kind, being smart. That's what makes them so sneaky. What's Inside This Episode: Why the thing you think is helping you figure him out is actually the biggest reason you can't hear yourselfThe "nice" habit that looks like generosity but is quietly working against youWhat's really happening when your gut says one thing and your brain immediately shuts it downThe sneaky belief that makes your intuition go silent, and how to know if it's running the show right now 🎧 Listen now and figure out which of the five has the most grip on you right now. You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think. Find me here: https://www.trulyeleanor.com

You already know you keep choosing unavailable men. What you might not know yet is why. My guest this week, Pi Venus Winslow, spent years chasing connections that left her with a broken heart and no real answers. What she eventually figured out stopped her cold: the problem wasn't the men. It was a pattern of self-abandonment so deeply wired in that it felt completely normal. Familiar, even. If you're dating after 40 and you're exhausted from carrying the emotional weight of relationships that never quite work, this conversation is going to land somewhere important. About Pi Venus Winslow: Pi Venus Winslow is a published author, speaker, and transformational coach who helps adults heal from a narcissistic upbringing and codependency. After a lifetime of navigating the effects of a malignant narcissistic parent, Pi transformed her own patterns of self-doubt and self-abandonment. She now guides others to break free from those same cycles, rebuild self-trust, and create healthier, more aligned relationships. What's Inside This Episode: Why what feels like chemistry might actually be your nervous system recognizing a familiar pattern of emotional chaosThe self-abandonment loop Pi identified that kept her stuck, and the moment she saw herself inside itA three-phase process for moving from understanding your patterns to actually showing up differently in loveWhat it feels like when healthy love enters your life after years of emotional unavailability, and why it might not feel the way you expect 🎧 If you've ever thought "I know better, so why do I keep doing this?” this one's for you. Listen now. Pi Venus Winslow’s Free gift to listeners: Identify your pattern underneath your attraction, especially if you keep finding yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable or inconsistent partners with Pi Venus Winslow's free quiz: "Uncover Your Hidden Barriers." https://fullvenusrising.com/ You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com

You've Googled it. You've journaled about it. You've asked your therapist. And you still can't tell if what you're feeling is your intuition or just that old anxiety doing its thing again. In Episode 62 of the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys Podcast, I'm giving you a clear, body-based way to tell them apart, in real time, before you send the text, before you book the second date, before you talk yourself into something your body already answered. You'll also walk away with a prompt you can use on the spot, on a date, after a date, or right before you hit send. What's Inside This Episode: How to know what to look for that makes fear vs intuition so easy to recognizeThe one question that cuts through the noise when you genuinely cannot tell which voice is speakingA real life client example of going from a fear spiral to an empowered choice in her love lifePractical ways to discern signals in real dating situations 🎧 Listen now and start learning to trust the voice that actually knows what's good for you. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think.

You can know something 150% and still talk yourself out of it. This override is the central reason you keep ending up in the same place, with the same guy, in a different sweater. In this Season 6 premiere of the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys Podcast, I'm talking about what's really going on when you're dating after 40, doing all the work, and still finding yourself here again. I share the story of being a trained Reiki practitioner and professional intuitive who was still overriding her own gut signals in dating. Alarm bells going off. Clear, calm inner wisdom saying no. And still choosing the intensity, the spark, and the story I told myself about why it must be destiny. Sound familiar? What's Inside This Episode: Why you can know all your patterns and still end up choosing the same guyThe surprising way being highly intuitive can work against you in datingWhy you stopped trusting yourself in love, and what it looks like to get that backWhy your intuition was never the problem, and what you were doing with it insteadThis is Season 6: the intuition season. It's about coming home to yourself so completely that unavailable love loses its pull. 🎧 Listen now and find out what's really been getting in your way.  Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think.

You've been doing the work. The journaling, the reflecting, the quiet moments where something clicked that you can't quite explain yet. This episode is your chance to feel how far you've actually come. In Episode 60 of the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys Podcast, we're closing out Season Five with a full-circle look at the identity shift that's been building all season. The shift from the woman who chased emotionally unavailable men and questioned her worth, to the woman who trusts herself, chooses wisely, and lets love meet her there. This is the episode that brings it all together. What's Inside This Episode: The quiet but profound thing that happens on a date when you've genuinely changedWhy dating can finally start to feel intentional, peaceful, and even funWhat it really means to trust yourself in real time, not just in theoryThe identity that makes emotional availability your new standardHow to carry everything you've learned into your daily life going forward 🎧 Listen now and give yourself credit for the woman you're becoming. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think.

You're not hiding behind healing anymore. You're not stuck in the waiting room. You're actually at the door. And somehow... you're still not walking through it. Here's a clue that something has quietly shifted. The guys who once had you glued to your phone, analysing every text, every pause, every "seen at 9pm but no reply until Tuesday"  they're starting to feel exhausting. And the calm, consistent guy who actually shows up? He's starting to feel kind of amazing. That's not a coincidence. That's readiness. And this episode is going to help you recognise it. What's Inside This Episode: ✨ The surprising way all that healing work trips you up on dates ✨ The subtle sign that you're already more ready for healthy love than you've been telling yourself ✨ What changes when you stop waiting to feel perfect and make this one quiet decision instead ✨ The shift that moves you from exhausted longing into something that finally feels calm and possible ✨ What it feels like to be on a date when you're actually ready to receive love https://trulyeleanor.com You can't make Mr. Unavailable love you, but you can choose someone who does. Love is closer than you think.

If you’re dating after 40 and you’ve done the healing work, raised your standards, and promised yourself “never again” but now find yourself feeling guarded, cautious, and a little closed off,  this episode is for you. In Episode 58 of the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys Podcast, we’re talking about the subtle shift from having standards to building emotional walls that quietly block the connection you want. Because at some point, protecting your heart can start to feel like the safest option. A very understandable, self-protective, quietly limiting way of dating. And it makes sense. You’ve been hurt. You’ve learned the lessons. You’re paying attention now. But what if that protection is also keeping love at a distance? This episode will show you how to hold your standards with calm confidence while staying open enough to actually experience connection. What’s Inside This Episode: ✨ The surprising way “being careful” on dates can instantly shut down connection ✨ The subtle dating habit that feels smart and self-protective, but keeps you stuck ✨ What changes when you stop trying to read him and start tuning into yourself ✨ The shift that makes you feel open, grounded, and in control at the same time ✨ Why the men you actually want feel drawn to you when this clicks 🎧 Listen now and step into dating with an open heart, clear standards, and the kind of grounded confidence that lets love in. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com

If you’re dating after 40 and you’ve done all the things: therapy, journaling, inner child work, energy clearing, and you still feel like, “I’m just not quite ready yet”… this episode is for you. In Episode 57 of the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys Podcast, we’re talking about a pattern that looks like growth, but feels like you’re stuck in a waiting room with no one calling your name. Because at some point, “I just need to heal a bit more” turns into a lifestyle. A very noble, self-aware, deeply exhausted lifestyle. And it makes sense. You want to get it right. You don’t want to repeat the past. But what if all that healing has quietly become a way of keeping yourself out of the game? This episode will show you how to move from endless self-improvement into actual lived confidence where you date, choose, and experience love as you are now. What’s Inside This Episode: ✨ Why you still feel “not ready” for love (even after doing all the work) ✨ The sneaky way healing keeps you stuck instead of moving you forward✨ The shift that gets you out of “almost ready” and into actually dating again✨ How to start experiencing real connection now, not someday when you’re “fully healed” 🎧 Listen now and step into love without waiting to become a different version of you. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com

If you’re dating after 40 and you’ve built a strong, independent life… but still find yourself attracting emotionally unavailable men or feeling completely drained by dating, this episode is for you. In Episode 56 of the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys Podcast, we’re talking about a shift that sounds simple, but can feel wildly uncomfortable in real life: how to stay open to love without abandoning yourself. Because let’s be honest…At some point, independence stopped feeling empowering and started feeling like, “Cool, I guess I’ll just carry all the groceries and my emotional needs alone forever.” After years of disappointment, it makes sense to stay guarded. To rely on yourself. To keep your heart just slightly under lock and key. But what if that protection… is also what’s keeping love out? This episode will show you how to move from hyper-independence into openness, so connection can feel safe, mutual, and actually supportive (yes, that exists). What’s Inside This Episode: What hyper-independence really looks like (it’s sneakier than you think)How staying guarded quietly blocks the connection you wantHow to stay open without losing your standards or boundariesThe shift that allows love in without losing yourself🎧 Listen now and start experiencing love without losing yourself. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com

If you’re dating after 40 and the only connections that feel exciting are the ones that leave you anxious, overthinking everything, and wondering where you stand, this episode will change the way you understand attraction. In Episode 55 of the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys Podcast, we’re redefining chemistry and exploring why the “spark” you’ve been chasing might actually be your nervous system reacting to emotional unpredictability. For many women, attraction has been conditioned through intensity: the adrenaline rush, mixed signals, and emotional highs and lows that feel exciting in the moment, but somehow keep leading you straight back to Mr. Emotionally Unavailable. But healthy love doesn’t feel chaotic. It feels calm, grounded, and emotionally safe. And if that feeling has ever made you think, “Hmm… maybe I’m just not attracted to him?” don’t worry you’re not the only one whose nervous system learned that love was supposed to feel like a rollercoaster at a questionable amusement park. In this episode, we explore the identity shift from chasing anxiety-based chemistry to recognizing emotional safety as true attraction. When your body chooses steadiness instead of emotional rollercoasters, dating starts to feel clearer, calmer and more aligned. In this episode you’ll learn: How emotional chaos gets mistaken for chemistryWhat emotionally safe attraction actually feels likeWhy calm connection can feel unfamiliar at firstThe identity shift that helps you choose healthier love Because the kind of attraction that leads to lasting love rarely feels like fireworks. It feels like coming home. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com

Have you ever gone on a date with a genuinely good guy… and then felt a sudden urge to pull away?Not because he did anything weird or said something offensive.Just a strong internal reaction that says: Nope.  If you’re dating after 40 and trying to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men, this moment can be incredibly confusing.Because now you’re wondering: Is this my intuition warning me? Or is my nervous system panicking because this guy might actually be emotionally available?And this shows up a lot for smart, self-aware women who have spent years dealing with hot-and-cold men.In this episode:✨ Why the urge to pull away shows up in healthy dating ✨ The difference between intuition and emotional self-protection ✨ How vulnerability can feel like danger ✨ How to stay open without abandoning yourselfBecause you can’t make Mr. Unavailable love you.But you can choose someone who does. And love is closer than you think. Questions This Episode Answers Why do I pull away when I start to like someone?Is it intuition or fear when something feels “off” in dating?Why do emotionally available men sometimes make me uncomfortable?How do I stay open in dating without getting hurt again?If you’ve ever felt that sudden urge to withdraw when a connection starts getting real, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening and how to stay grounded while choosing the kind of love you truly want. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com

Last week we talked about anxiety when you like him. This week, we go deeper. Because once you understand your nervous system… the real question becomes: Can you tell the difference between fear and intuition while you’re sitting across from your date? Not later.Not after a three-hour debrief with your friends.In real time. In this episode, we move from managing fear that tries to take over to recognizing what’s actually true for you on dates. What’s Inside The Episode:  How intuition actually communicates (it’s quieter than you think)Why strong feelings don’t automatically mean “red flag”The subtle body cues that signal truth versus protectionHow to stop outsourcing your decisions to overthinkingWhat it feels like to know when something is right and when it isn’tThis is the shift from second-guessing yourself… to knowing what’s real. From spiralling… to deciding calmly. Because calm confidence is understanding what you’re feeling and choosing from clarity instead of fear. 🎧 Listen now to strengthen your discernment and date with steadiness instead of doubt. Find me here: https://trulyeleanor.com

If you’re dating after 40 and you finally meet someone you genuinely like… and instead of feeling calm and excited, your body goes into panic mode, this episode is for you. Anxiety means something matters. When you’ve spent years loving emotionally unavailable men, your nervous system learns that connection equals risk. So when a kind, emotionally present man shows up, your body can interpret that as danger. Nothing is wrong with you.Your body is protecting you. In this episode, I share what happened before my first date with my husband (shaking hands, spiralling thoughts, every instinct telling me to cancel) and the quiet inner voice that said, “Go.” We’re unpacking how to stay grounded when old patterns activate… even when your body feels anything but calm. What’s Inside This Episode: Why your anxiety might actually be a sign you’re stepping into something healthyThe subtle difference between fear and intuition (and how to spot it in the moment)What your spiralling thoughts are really trying to protect you fromWhy the body is always the last to feel safe even after years of healingHow to make steady, self-led decisions when you really like himYou can feel anxious… and still choose calmly. And that changes everything. 🎧 Listen now to learn how to calm your nervous system, trust your intuition, and stay grounded when you finally meet someone who matters.https://trulyeleanor.com